How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One and that’s not funny? Oh no no no no. Feminists don’t change lightbulbs, apparently, if Ohio Governor John Kasich’s wife is around! That is because she does everything that could need doing — the laundry, the sammiches, never letting him forget he’s a man cause she’s a woman.
Why don’t all those lesbians and feminazis just find a good strong Ohio Republican governor to keep them in mink coats and Tide laundry detergent? Oh we forgot: because they are ugly. HAHAHAHAHA. In related news, we had another sex dream about Rachel Maddow last night. AGAIN. This time, we had fallen asleep flying a parachute to the beach, and there she was, just cold walkin’ up the beach, like a boss.
[Plunderbund, via AngryBlackLady]
{ 149 comments }
Never go full troglodyte.
Yes, troglolyte is as far as anyone should take it.
Smart women are hot. Rachel Maddow almost makes me want cable.
That's just the beginning. There's also Melissa Harris Perry and Tamron Hall.
…slowly draping scarves across me, and laughing at my helplessness. BRB…
Hot smart women, thats just incandescent.
Alexis Goldstein has a certain effect on me in that regard.
I like her, too. Not in that respect, but I like her.
I like 'em hot, smart and funny. Sweet, also too.
all you need is internet access. show is posted a few hours after it airs.
Dittos. I'd love to talk predatory lending regulations face to face with Liz Warren.
Isn't she adorable? I think Hills is nice looking too.
My husband is obsessed with her skin. But not in a "it puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again" kinda way
Yes it will, precious! It will get the hose again!
Rachel Maddow almost makes me want gender reassignment surgery.
What a mistake to let women vote, too!
What war on women?
Yup. And after spitting on the mayo, she is texting Julio, the pool boy, arranging their afternoon rolfing, 'cause you just know Liver-Lip Kasich hasn't had a good fuck in him from day one.
A girl only gets so much time on this earth; she's gotta live a little.
And Julio always gets a sammich too. Only he doesn't even have to ask for it.
Julio gets the sammich without the Lysol mayo.
Julio get the "sandwich" with the wife and the next-door lady, too.
Maybe I should have been a pool boy.
And pie for dessert, dontchaknow.
I am PRAYING you are right, or that she is ALSO dreaming of fucking Rachel Maddow, or just something. I hate this. HATE.
Maddow is MINE! I know, she has teh ghey (sob).Sent from my iPhone
Perhaps she has a standing appointment for Thursday afternon body work with John Redcorn.
Point of reference
OK, she is kinda hot. Not Jill Biden…yum…hot, or Michelle Obama….scusemeforaminnitUNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…hot, but kinda hot
You know how she'd be even hotter? If she had a job instead of sitting around the house telling the maid she needs to do the laundry.
How 'bout if she just sells enough stock every quarter to live comfortably in a basement apartment with the ironing board for a dining table. Is that hot?
Dip into capital? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
Where do you suppose they stored the dancing horses in that apartment?
Works for me!
Beats going to work at WalMart for 50 hours a week to live in a basement apartment with the ironing board for the dining table, ne'st ces pas?
She's not ugly enough to be in an Angie's List commercial, but still only third or fourth choice for the prom.
She's about a three.
This is on a scale of one to six-pack
(Trix, dear, of course you're a "the beer can wait")
You had choices for prom?
You went to prom?
I… um… chose not to go.
She seems quite a bit younger than him. Maybe Daddy hasn't always been such a good boy…
Did he buy her a washer and dryer or does she have to walk down to the stream to beat his clothes clean on the rocks. And how effective is that for getting the shit stains out of his undies.
When I'm slapping my man's undies against a rock, I often wish there was applause. Where's my little bit of applause!?
No White Undies EVAH!!! White panties are a cruel hoax on all of us. Buy black and take your sanity back people!!!
Nice to know there is a State where time hasn’t progressed since the fifties. I must visit Ohio and catch a Miles Davis set before he fires Coltrane there as well.
This is what happens when you watch too many Leave It To Beaver reruns.
"Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the beaver last night?"
Beat me to it.
Oh fuck no. Fuck this. I am doing laundry right now and I am about to pile this shit up and burn this whole fucking house down. Oh good god. And these bitches do NOT do laundry, I do not believe it, but I DO believe it is not easy to be married to this dick – he's got the Mitt smirk talking about his wife doing bullshit. Oh my god, I am freaking out. Rachel Maddow on a beach, Rachel Maddow on a beach…like a BOSS, you hear THAT?
Metaphorically, of course, all of your burning will only ever be metaphorical, right?
Um, yes. Of course. I don't really burn things, you are right, lawyer, I just metaphorically want to cock-punch this guy, which I guess means in his forehead? I don't know. I really am mad.
You maybe can punch him in the forehead, but that might run afoul of one of our subsections regarding skulls. I HAZ A CONFUSED.
No, no. Keep the burning-your-house down metaphorical, but cock-punching Kasich should be as real as possible.
burning shit down with votes, promms.
Try using the spin cycle for stress relief, perhaps while contemplating the aforementioned beach scene.
Well, just thank god it is not in fact still the 50s and housewives have websites with stuff that is WAY more powerful…but point taken, and taken and taken and so forth.
Take a load of this: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ladies-Against-Fem…
They are having a debate about the difference between Feminists and Fem-nazis. Apparently, one of these ladies went to a college and the "Fem-nazis" thought all sex except lesbian sex was rape. Yep, that totally sounds real.
Why women still fuck asshats like this jerkoff remains a mystery to me. The whole 'He The Man, Me His Loyal Servent' thing. GAH
Honestly, it's as if the Feminist movement never happened for these women, or they found it 'unbecoming' or some such horseshit. Cheerleaderesque "math is hard" idiots. Women who bring up their daughters to subscribe to this crap in this day and age…WTF
Yeah, angry, too. While I don't want to have the sexytime with Rachel, who is nevertheless awesome indeed, I certainly would love to listen to her take on it all over a beer or a nice whiskey. Let me know when you're done, perhaps we can all meet up. :-)
A comment I saw on the teevee a few weeks ago about England and suffrage movement:
"the proletariat's proletariat" — that captured it all too well.
Now, now. Burn the house down with votes .
It's not easy to be a spouse of an elected official.. You know have to stand there behind us, solemnly nodding their head while we apologize for sodomizing some rent-a-boy, or banging a cocktail waitress, or "airport bathroom hijinks". God bless 'em!
Don't you kind of suspect that he's a big old submissive at home and his wife has a collection of whips and paddles?
Personally I hope she has a big collection of ball gags.
How, exactly, does one get the wife to do laundry?
In my marriage, I became the wife at laundry time.
Look, it works for me and stop judging…
Just don't ask her to rake the lawn while you're bending over getting things out of the dryer.
Just do it once but make sure you mix the reds with the whites.
Or put the dryer on high.
In my married days I found it not really possible. Easier to do it yourself and not have to endure the hostility. Gender equality means she does hers, you do yours. Not sure about the sheets and towels.
We used to wait until they could wash themselves.
First, they stand up by themselves …
Well, Pat Robertson recommends beating the little woman.
Or claim she has Alzheimers and dump her sorry ass.
Take up vacuuming.
…while we're up here on the stage…
…playing pocket pool.
Kasich isn't even running for anything. He must be campaigning for Ann.
Let's hear some applause for Todd Palin and Marcus Bachmann, too!
Todd not only gets his applause, but his wife bought him a chance to look manly jumping out of heeleecopter on basic cable teevee. As long as he doesn't speak, he can pull the manly act off.
So many TOOLS in the GOP shed, yet nary a sharpener in sight.
The GOP doesn't have a shed, it keeps its tools in the closet.
Dude, she is only doing the laundry so she can ride the washing machine. Wake up.
There's a spot on his shirt. Bitch is doin' it wrong.
Let's hear it for Joe the plumbers wife, Josephine the plumber!
Ohio has state liquor stores. Guess they don't believe in private enterprise, either.
Next time Kasich asks his wife about the laundry she ought to give him a Tide Stick and tell him to go fuck himself with it.
Tide goes in; Tide goes out.
Ya just can't explain it.
God I wish he had mentioned Ann Romney when he talked about the wives doing the laundry
I'm finding it harder to believe that Ann wears blue jeans as much as Mitt does on the campaign trail. The authenticity of the likes of them "dressing down" has never been more suspect.
My naughty fantasy is to be with 4 girls. One to the laundry. One to mow the yard. One to wash the dishes, and one to wash me.
DW:
"One to do the laundry. One to do the yardwork. One to do the dishes. And one to do me."
Sorry – I'm a compulsive editor.
Nah, it's ok, but I spelled everything right.
Guess you're going to be pretty happy when the kids pack you off to the nursing home.
Bingo every night baby!
everything that could need doing… the sammiches
Not sure how many housewives echo the Kasisch sentiment. But I'm reminded of one all-American nerd who never wasted the opportunity to prepare his own lunches.
Of course she's hot. She's in the kitchen. And if she can't stand the heat…
(My boyhood memories of the Buckeye State include Summers when it was 90+ degrees and 90+ humidity. Drove me to California…)
He is just jealous that Ann Romney was given a prime speaking slot at the RNC. Typical case of penis envy!
When's Don Draper stomping for Mitt?
Or, Mad Men is about how the old Boys Club in the 60s imagined themselves, and Mitt and Kasich are more like how they actually were.
When people compare Willard to Draper, I remind them that at least Draper is a likeable asshole.
At least Don Draper has the decency to look rueful and butt-hurt when you whore yourself.
Watching this year's GOPeers is like watching re-runs from the last seasons of the Whigs and the Know-Nothings. How long before the Repelicans get put on the endangered species list?
You know what they say, "A beard's place is in the kitchen."
Huffington Post is documenting the rewrite of the NYTimes article on Romeny's decision to falsely attack Obama
Needs moar sideboob
Now that you ask!
Apparently the Times is unfamiliar with the internet tradition of the "Update".
I'm beginning to think that Ohio is a rather odd place.
Never marry a drop dead gorgeous woman when she leaves you it will rip your heart out.Marry a fat ugly woman that way when she leaves you don't even care.
Relevant
Or C.) learn to use your tongue.
Never marry
a drop dead gorgeous woman when she leaves you it will rip your heart out.Marry a fat ugly woman that way when she leaves you don't even care.Fixed.
So a "fat ugly" woman can't break your heart? What if she's a wonderful person and you love her?
Sexism.
Is "doing the laundry" some kind of euphemism?
As noted above, a euphemism for "doing the pool boy".
Whenever a professional guy bemoans that his wife has to stay home with the kids while he's away all the time you can almost hear the smirking.
Yep, John likes his wimmens with bound feet, stove burnt and lackin' voter rights.
Notice he did not mention Ann Romney in the "laundry list".
CALL WND!! NEW CONSPIRACY THEORY!!!11!!!!
NEEDZ MOAR REVERB!!!!!!!!!
What does it say about me that I have those dreams too?
Yea, you know, that only works until the plumbing needs fixing, in which case you lose the upper hand and have to admit that you, too, do not know how to replace a faucet.
I'm sitting in a mediation, right now, representing a woman in a sexual harassment case. These fucks enable what my client went through.
Women, not just for sex 'n sammiches anymore.
Earn those billable hours!
Contingent fee lawyer, Baby Fish Cakes!
It's college yearbook Rachel though, isn't it?
Oh shut up. I swear, guys that know how to do stuff are way hotter than those who get out of stuff by trying to look like an idiot to get out of them. Guys wanna get laid, do laundry. It's like a cosmic rotational benefit. It's worth it to sort socks so you aren't left just jerking off in them, no?
Look at you lecturing me like you don't know when I am projecting an ironic persona. I am the Lizard King and thus can do anything, including laundry.
Yes, I do know, and whatever, I just wanted to say jerk off. I am still mad. But be the lizard king, always, just remember liquor-soaked leather pants are a bitch to clean.
My father told me that traditionally at reveille (thats fucking French! Sissie commie army!) in the army, the DI's instruct the recruits to "drop their cocks and grab their socks." This fails to take into account those whose cocks are in their socks.
Being in the army does sound confusing. Also, jerking off in the barracks, that's some impressive concentration, they ARE all young, obviously.
I imagine "jerk off" is within the powers of the Lizard King.
I think you just wipe them off. Vomit is the bigger problem
So true, hubby knows that cooking dinner will at least get him a hummer
What's with are all those ladies in the background? And why are they smiling? I trust they are all picking up dirt clods to launch at this asshat. You, too, flag-shirt boy!
I hope that when he goes home tonight, she meets him at the door and sweetly kicks his motherfucking teeth in. Lady ninja-style.
When you start cohabiting at 38, you've pretty much figured out how to do your own, so it's not an issue. But the little lady has 12 times as many clothes as I do, so when she does mass laundry, our machines are booked for a week.
I hate my Governor…
speaking as a woman i am so goddamned sick of these motherfuckers.
and the women who enable them.
WTF is the average age of that crowd?! He speaking at an old folks home?
How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? 20; one to change the lightbulb and 19 to make the documentary.
Mink? No no, the women all wear good cloth Republican coats (c.f. Richard Nixon).
"It's hard to be the spouse of a fucking turd"
I think that's what he meant to say.
None.
If the government would leave the light bulb alone, it will screw itself in, comrades!
If we get rid of onerous regulation, the free market will come up with a solution.
Sorry, it was long ago and I was stoned, but my Women and Religion 101 class states we should ask the following:
1. What couple has a spouse that can afford to stay at home?
2. Why does it have to always be the woman?
3. She's old and white, right?
Same guy who blames the cop for *his* speeding ticket.
Every day in Ohio, we see this clown doing something stupid, but the only reason we have him in the governor's office is because of people like those who vote for guys like Jim Buchy. (See previous blog on this website to learn about *this* clown.)
I saw Karen Kasich at the grocery store last month. She was buying tampons.
The jokes on him, even the bread is made of mayo.
We need men like John Kasich. He makes the rest of us look so much more evolved by comparison.
You and me both, amigo.
I was too drunk.
When I was in high school, my personality doubled as contraception.
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