totally different governor sammiches

Ohio Gov. John Kasich Wants You To Know His ‘Hot Wife’ Is In Kitchen, Making Him a Sammich, Where She Belongs

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One and that’s not funny? Oh no no no no. Feminists don’t change lightbulbs, apparently, if Ohio Governor John Kasich’s wife is around! That is because she does everything that could need doing — the laundry, the sammiches, never letting him forget he’s a man cause she’s a woman.

Why don’t all those lesbians and feminazis just find a good strong Ohio Republican governor to keep them in mink coats and Tide laundry detergent? Oh we forgot: because they are ugly. HAHAHAHAHA. In related news, we had another sex dream about Rachel Maddow last night. AGAIN. This time, we had fallen asleep flying a parachute to the beach, and there she was, just cold walkin’ up the beach, like a boss.

[Plunderbund, via AngryBlackLady]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  1. ttommyunger

    Yup. And after spitting on the mayo, she is texting Julio, the pool boy, arranging their afternoon rolfing, 'cause you just know Liver-Lip Kasich hasn't had a good fuck in him from day one.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      A girl only gets so much time on this earth; she's gotta live a little.

      And Julio always gets a sammich too. Only he doesn't even have to ask for it.

    2. FakaktaSouth

      I am PRAYING you are right, or that she is ALSO dreaming of fucking Rachel Maddow, or just something. I hate this. HATE.

  2. actor212

    Point of reference

    OK, she is kinda hot. Not Jill Biden…yum…hot, or Michelle Obama….scusemeforaminnitUNHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…hot, but kinda hot

    You know how she'd be even hotter? If she had a job instead of sitting around the house telling the maid she needs to do the laundry.

    1. Lot_49

      How 'bout if she just sells enough stock every quarter to live comfortably in a basement apartment with the ironing board for a dining table. Is that hot?

      1. prommie

        Beats going to work at WalMart for 50 hours a week to live in a basement apartment with the ironing board for the dining table, ne'st ces pas?

    2. ChernobylSoup

      She's not ugly enough to be in an Angie's List commercial, but still only third or fourth choice for the prom.

  3. no_gravity

    Did he buy her a washer and dryer or does she have to walk down to the stream to beat his clothes clean on the rocks. And how effective is that for getting the shit stains out of his undies.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      When I'm slapping my man's undies against a rock, I often wish there was applause. Where's my little bit of applause!?

  4. Goonemeritus

    Nice to know there is a State where time hasn’t progressed since the fifties. I must visit Ohio and catch a Miles Davis set before he fires Coltrane there as well.

  5. FakaktaSouth

    Oh fuck no. Fuck this. I am doing laundry right now and I am about to pile this shit up and burn this whole fucking house down. Oh good god. And these bitches do NOT do laundry, I do not believe it, but I DO believe it is not easy to be married to this dick – he's got the Mitt smirk talking about his wife doing bullshit. Oh my god, I am freaking out. Rachel Maddow on a beach, Rachel Maddow on a beach…like a BOSS, you hear THAT?

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Um, yes. Of course. I don't really burn things, you are right, lawyer, I just metaphorically want to cock-punch this guy, which I guess means in his forehead? I don't know. I really am mad.

        1. kissawookiee

          You maybe can punch him in the forehead, but that might run afoul of one of our subsections regarding skulls. I HAZ A CONFUSED.

        2. bobbert

          No, no. Keep the burning-your-house down metaphorical, but cock-punching Kasich should be as real as possible.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Well, just thank god it is not in fact still the 50s and housewives have websites with stuff that is WAY more powerful…but point taken, and taken and taken and so forth.

      1. belmontreport

        They are having a debate about the difference between Feminists and Fem-nazis. Apparently, one of these ladies went to a college and the "Fem-nazis" thought all sex except lesbian sex was rape. Yep, that totally sounds real.

    1. HELisforHEL

      Why women still fuck asshats like this jerkoff remains a mystery to me. The whole 'He The Man, Me His Loyal Servent' thing. GAH
      Honestly, it's as if the Feminist movement never happened for these women, or they found it 'unbecoming' or some such horseshit. Cheerleaderesque "math is hard" idiots. Women who bring up their daughters to subscribe to this crap in this day and age…WTF
      Yeah, angry, too. While I don't want to have the sexytime with Rachel, who is nevertheless awesome indeed, I certainly would love to listen to her take on it all over a beer or a nice whiskey. Let me know when you're done, perhaps we can all meet up. :-)

      1. qwerty42

        A comment I saw on the teevee a few weeks ago about England and suffrage movement:
        "the proletariat's proletariat" — that captured it all too well.

  6. Clancy_Pants

    It's not easy to be a spouse of an elected official.. You know have to stand there behind us, solemnly nodding their head while we apologize for sodomizing some rent-a-boy, or banging a cocktail waitress, or "airport bathroom hijinks". God bless 'em!

  7. Terry

    Don't you kind of suspect that he's a big old submissive at home and his wife has a collection of whips and paddles?

    1. Lot_49

      In my married days I found it not really possible. Easier to do it yourself and not have to endure the hostility. Gender equality means she does hers, you do yours. Not sure about the sheets and towels.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Todd not only gets his applause, but his wife bought him a chance to look manly jumping out of heeleecopter on basic cable teevee. As long as he doesn't speak, he can pull the manly act off.

  8. no_gravity

    Next time Kasich asks his wife about the laundry she ought to give him a Tide Stick and tell him to go fuck himself with it.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      I'm finding it harder to believe that Ann wears blue jeans as much as Mitt does on the campaign trail. The authenticity of the likes of them "dressing down" has never been more suspect.

    1. Tundra Grifter


      "One to do the laundry. One to do the yardwork. One to do the dishes. And one to do me."

      Sorry – I'm a compulsive editor.

  9. Tundra Grifter

    Of course she's hot. She's in the kitchen. And if she can't stand the heat…

    (My boyhood memories of the Buckeye State include Summers when it was 90+ degrees and 90+ humidity. Drove me to California…)

    1. JohnnyQuick

      Or, Mad Men is about how the old Boys Club in the 60s imagined themselves, and Mitt and Kasich are more like how they actually were.

  10. weejee

    Watching this year's GOPeers is like watching re-runs from the last seasons of the Whigs and the Know-Nothings. How long before the Repelicans get put on the endangered species list?

  11. sbj1964

    Never marry a drop dead gorgeous woman when she leaves you it will rip your heart out.Marry a fat ugly woman that way when she leaves you don't even care.

    1. gullywompr

      Never marry a drop dead gorgeous woman when she leaves you it will rip your heart out.Marry a fat ugly woman that way when she leaves you don't even care.


  12. poorgradstudent

    Whenever a professional guy bemoans that his wife has to stay home with the kids while he's away all the time you can almost hear the smirking.

  13. KeepFnThatChicken

    Notice he did not mention Ann Romney in the "laundry list".


  14. actor212

    Yea, you know, that only works until the plumbing needs fixing, in which case you lose the upper hand and have to admit that you, too, do not know how to replace a faucet.

  15. Boojum

    I'm sitting in a mediation, right now, representing a woman in a sexual harassment case. These fucks enable what my client went through.

    Women, not just for sex 'n sammiches anymore.

  16. FakaktaSouth

    Oh shut up. I swear, guys that know how to do stuff are way hotter than those who get out of stuff by trying to look like an idiot to get out of them. Guys wanna get laid, do laundry. It's like a cosmic rotational benefit. It's worth it to sort socks so you aren't left just jerking off in them, no?

    1. prommie

      Look at you lecturing me like you don't know when I am projecting an ironic persona. I am the Lizard King and thus can do anything, including laundry.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Yes, I do know, and whatever, I just wanted to say jerk off. I am still mad. But be the lizard king, always, just remember liquor-soaked leather pants are a bitch to clean.

        1. prommie

          My father told me that traditionally at reveille (thats fucking French! Sissie commie army!) in the army, the DI's instruct the recruits to "drop their cocks and grab their socks." This fails to take into account those whose cocks are in their socks.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            Being in the army does sound confusing. Also, jerking off in the barracks, that's some impressive concentration, they ARE all young, obviously.

  17. barto

    What's with are all those ladies in the background? And why are they smiling? I trust they are all picking up dirt clods to launch at this asshat. You, too, flag-shirt boy!

  18. Chet Kincaid_

    When you start cohabiting at 38, you've pretty much figured out how to do your own, so it's not an issue. But the little lady has 12 times as many clothes as I do, so when she does mass laundry, our machines are booked for a week.


    How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? 20; one to change the lightbulb and 19 to make the documentary.

  20. Joey_brill

    Sorry, it was long ago and I was stoned, but my Women and Religion 101 class states we should ask the following:

    1. What couple has a spouse that can afford to stay at home?

    2. Why does it have to always be the woman?

    3. She's old and white, right?

  21. clecinosu

    Same guy who blames the cop for *his* speeding ticket.

    Every day in Ohio, we see this clown doing something stupid, but the only reason we have him in the governor's office is because of people like those who vote for guys like Jim Buchy. (See previous blog on this website to learn about *this* clown.)

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