Add to Flipboard Magazine.

#war
Oyez oyez, it is now time to commemorate the Great Wonkette Liberal Thing War. We arrived at Drinking Liberally, Philly City Center chapter, and proceeded to rumble/dance-fight with their big bear of a host. Obviously, and all the duhs, we won.

We will let you identify yourselves in the hot pix below.

Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.

It says "needz moar Riley"

And that is how we defeated Philadelphia Drinking Liberally and took all their women. New York City, you are tonight.

Add to Flipboard Magazine.
  • SorosBot

    Yay! Thanks for all the beers, Rebecca; we had a great time. And a not-so-great time Wednesday morning.

  • Terry

    Time to give up the smoking, Wonketters! Didn't your Mommas tell you it was bad for you? Don't give your hard earned ameros to the tobacco companies.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I like that next-to-last photo – that gentleman appears to holding a card describing (r)Money's foreign policy.

    • It looks blank to me

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Like a wasteland or something.

        • MosesInvests

          Rmoney/Lyin': "We are the empty, the hollow men…."

      • Monsieur_Grumpe
        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Well played.

      • I see a quiet room.

    • Even more frightening is the guy with the "Riley" card, who has successfully pulled off the Breitbart facial expression!! What if he is not dead, but merely facially-reconstructed after a near-fatal accident?!

  • Slackers. All of you. We'll show you how to drink.

  • eggsacklywright

    The pitchers are all right side up, what gives?

    • Right? And I only count five people drinking. Five! And there must be a total of 20 people in those pitchers…pictures, I mean!

      Hell, it's only 10:30 and I'm already war-*hic*-ming up!

  • Mojopo

    Looks like a blast! Wish I was there. Have a great time in NYC.

    Are you ever coming to Chi, or did I miss it?

    • rebecca has promised she is coming to chicago in january when it's sunny.

      • Mojopo

        Excellent. Patio weather.

  • prommie

    You fuckers, how could you even do this without me?

    • FakaktaSouth

      Because you literally (joe biden) didn't get off your ass and go. I TOLD you I'd wrangle you wherever, but, no. So now you can't complain.

    • mrpuma2u

      They picked up their libations, and then the moved them towards their mouths and drank. They then repeated this motion many many times. That's how.

    • Guppy

      Thusly. There's even pictures.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    You guys are allowed to smoke in Philadelphia?

    • FakaktaSouth

      In Atlanta we were allowed to smoke INSIDE! It was crazy, I felt so lawless! (we are NOT allowed to do that in Alerbummer, not never, not nowheres.)

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        In Seattle one is only allowed to smoke after they have made an $800 donation to the American Cancer Society and are standing at least 102 yards away from any other person, animal, window, door or porous surface. It's the law! Also, only vegan cigarettes are sold in the city limits.

        Pot is cool, though. Even the cops smoke it.

        • FakaktaSouth

          Oh geez, now I gotta figure out how to move to Seattle. I like EVERYthing about it now. (I love gloom, and you know, that other stuff, and YOU, oh we would have so much fun. Gymnastic Pornos in the rain, how could we go wrong?)

          • anniegetyerfun

            But in Seattle, everyone else glares at you for smoking, and you'll occasionally get a lecture about the importance of breastfeeding. Even if you're a dude. So, you know, it's kind of a mixed blessing.

          • I often publicly breastfeed. No one says anything in the alleyway.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Bleh. As the only wannabe hippie commie liberal in my state, I am used to being glared at, so it'll be all right. And in spite of the my Patchouli-wishes and granola-dreams, luckily these things I got here have been officially registered as a fun only zone, that shit skeeves me out. (lecturers about it too)

          • thatsitfortheother1

            Recreation, not procreation.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Oh, and I almost forgot. You must act sufficiently guilty and talk about how you are going to quit next month.

          • Ahhhg I didn't know that I could say I was Going to quit. Felt guilty at the LaTona meetup that I was the only one sneaking out to smoke.

          • So I won't mention that my cuz who just completed the Pacific Crest Trail got rained on all of 5 minutes while in Washington. Of course when clearing TSA this morn to fly back to Missouri he had to sign the paperwork that it rained on him every single day while he was in Washington, as it does for sure and for true. Just like BSFD's comments about smoking tobacco in Seattle is a Class A felony.

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            You should move here! You probably wouldn't use the caps lock as much if you weren't around all of those wingnuts all the time.

          • FakaktaSouth

            WITHOUT A DOUBT!

          • BigSkullF*ckingDog

            I almost forgot! The local alternative paper in Seattle actually puts on a yearly armature porn competition. It's called Humpfest. Just sayin.

          • FakaktaSouth

            WOOT WOOT, that's riiiight, I read about that in Savage Love one time! I'm getting on my elliptical now! Must get ready for our Humpfest, um, submission, so to speak. That way I can tax write off my move to Seattle, AND exercise equipment AND humping! No ordinary dumb housewife am I…I gotta fucking plan now bitches…

        • Also, only vegan cigarettes are sold in the city limits

          Well that part's okay, American Spirits are the only cigarettes that are any good anyway.

          • SorosBot

            Hippie.

        • LibertyLover

          To be fair, if you smoke outside anyway, the drizzly rain's gonna put it out.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          SmokeEasies existed for a while, but they nailed the Mercury. But up on 15th, I hear rumors of a keycoded room.

          • emmelemm

            Nice!

        • emmelemm

          Sounds about right.

      • Biff

        This is why a Las Vegas drinky thing is a necessity. Smoking is not only allowed, it's required! 24/7/365, all the time with the drinking, and the smoking…

      • SorosBot

        There are a few bars where you can smoke in Philly; they can get an exception from the ban if they only make a small amount of their money from food. But the vast majority are non-smoking now, which is fine this time of year but not so fun in January or February.

      • That's to be expected, when Georgia has to import its glamorous liberals from Alabama!

        • FakaktaSouth

          Yes, we glamorous types are all about the perks, baby! I'ma MAKE you go to Chicago's thing if I can figure out how to get out of O'Hare…

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6pAxF2br_U

            We should have it in Gary!

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh how freaking awesome, we could go see the family manse, where the talent inspiring beatings started it allllll!

          • Little Michael just wanted to grow up to be Diana Ross! Is that so wrong?!

            At a family reunion in the '90s, we went to the Motown Museum in Detroit, which was very cool. It's the first two family houses that Berry Gordy bought as company HQ; the recording studio was the garage in the back. At their height in the Detroit days, I think they had 9 houses in a row, joined by second story walkways, to house all of the departments. Now there's just the original two, on a block where all the other buildings have been demolished.

    • Some of us wish Philly would burn

    • LesBontemps

      I thought you were still allowed to smoke inside McGlinchey's? What gives?

      • SorosBot

        We were at a place next to McGlinchey's, not McG's itself; which is good, because they are famous for having a surly and rude, not to mention slow, staff.

        • Sounds like a challenge to me.

        • LesBontemps

          Surly, rude and slow — okay, well that describes Philly pretty much everywhere, all the time.

  • magic_titty

    So that's not Vincent D'Onofrio in that first picture?

    • Now that would've been a story!

    • Looks like a healthier Billy Bob Thornton.

    • SaintNixon

      That loser wishes he were me.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh my, I feel like being yelled at by guy in picture number one would be hilarious. What the fuck are you looking at, indeed…

    • prommie

      I didn't know Babe Ruth plays for the Phillies?

      • FakaktaSouth

        Seriously, this guy kicks John Goodmans ass.

        • prommie

          Calmer, too.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Calmer than you are.

          • prommie

            Maybe right now, but you know how life goes, sometimes, you eat the bear, . . .

          • FakaktaSouth

            And sometimes the bear, he eats you…
            I love people with such cool voices.

          • prommie

            Its comforting.

        • jqheywood

          Shut the fuck up, Donnie!

  • everything needz moar riley when you think about it.

    • anniegetyerfun

      What happened to that kid? Did he get a job? Breitbart is too dead to molest him now.

      • He's been over near Czechoslovakia teaching English.. Returned to U.S. when their school year let out, and last heard from around Charlotte during convention time.

        • I saw him at the Charlotte drink thingy. Cute guy!

    • Guppy

      Even Breitbart needed moar riley.

  • Need moar sideways, blurry shots.

    • I was just going to call bullshit since Trix is in focus, but I'm allowing the "badly overlit" exemption.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Needz moar 2 street and lawn chairs!

  • bathroom on the second floor.

    good to know.

  • I will imagine some of y'all are reaching the point in those photos of doin the interpretive dance stage of the evening as I did in the DC one … where the music was so loud to hear over, I had to flail my arms and gesticulate a lot to make up for / overcompensate the hearing loss. All while holding a beer *and* a ciggie, too.

    • "doin the interpretive dance"

      Needs moar underwear, a la Manos, Hands of Fate.

  • When will you be gracing the drinking establishments of Denver with your presence? I wish for the opportunity to attempt to seduce the Editrix. For FREEDUMB.

    • Y'know, there's an "Emanuelle" movie to be made about Editrix's travels…

    • CrunchyKnee

      Indeed. We have many fine establishments in Denver in which to further damage our collective libtard livers.

    • Magic Slim lives in my town.

  • Suddenly I have an urge to take up smoking

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      I smoked for 22 years. If I ever get the word I have something terminal, I'm fucking starting back. Until then, I hate those stinky things.

      • One_who_wanders

        Word!

  • Sorry, but I had to cancel my trip last minute after found out that Bill Murray wasn't showing up.

  • SorosBot

    I'm the redhead in the glasses with the brown shirt over a black T-shirt; it was actually kind of chilly Tuesday, thus all the long-sleeved shirts.

    • The cartouche on the front says…?

      Nice look, by the way.

      • James Michael Curley

        Amenhotep was gay!

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Is that MissTaken next to you? (In the grey sweater & white shirt.)

      • SorosBot

        Yes, it is. She's right next to me at the moment and trying to comment with here iPad, which is apparently a pain in the ass.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Awww…so cute. And don't get me started about Wonkette on the iPad/iPhone.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            wonkette.com/?onswipe_redirect=never

        • You guys look nice together!

          • SorosBot

            Aw, thanks.

        • Barbara_

          MissTaken is so lovely. Give her a kiss from me. I am trying to reply on my iPad and it is a pain.

    • Boojum

      So, you are the one without a soul?

    • Terry

      You're a handsome devil!

  • anniegetyerfun

    The smoking just makes me want you guys all the more.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Who was able to solicit Robert B. Reich to hang out with the Wonketters?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Well, that would add to Stefan's description of the event.

      "This place has everything, Midget Economists, Earnest Liberals, and Wonketeers".

  • MissTaken

    In the final pic Editrix and I are engaged in a very serious discussion about the composition of scents that create Eau de Obama

    • Is that like John Travolta in that movie "Michael"?

      • prommie

        Ewwwwww, Nora Ephron, eeeewwwwwww

    • Chichikovovich

      Well now that I've seen the other half as well, I multiply my San Fran reaction by 2. You two are one great looking couple.

      • MissTaken

        Ah, thank you!

  • thatsitfortheother1

    1. Illegitimate. Needz moar blurry.

    2. Restrooms on the third floor? What do you think empty pitchers are for?

    3. And the dude's cartouche is misspelled. There are two snakes in "When do I get some?"

  • RuinedLiver

    These parties really are sausage fests. What gives?

  • Everyone's in focus!

    How Weird.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And upright!

    • prommie

      I see everyone once!

  • Baconzgood

    Sooooooo close. DC, Phili, and NYC are places I go to alot for work. But alas because I'm losing my job I'm too busy here in PGH to go and "visit clients" in those cities. Fuckey fuck fuckareno.

    • Don't you start talking about job loss, we here enjoy too much your tales from the desk-deranged side, O Mighty Afro'd Whitey. Also and unemployment sucks, too and such.

      • Baconzgood

        No worry. I was offered a position at another company.

        • emmelemm

          Really? That's awesome.

        • Great news about the new position. Don't forget to kiss Dale goodbye.

    • Terry

      Have one of those sandwiches for lunch that have the french fries in them. That will either cheer you up, or have you sleeping at your desk in the afternoon.

  • Baconzgood

    But who won the Philies game?

  • iamrrm

    These porn shotz are cryin out for captionz.

    • AncienReggie

      Word. Who are these people? I'm not ashamed, my mother knows what I do.

      • iamrrm

        Jeez, no real names! These people are all in WITSEC.

  • I'll never understand White people.

  • iamrrm

    Dontcha hate it when a woman won't swallow and you have to hold your empty beer glass to her mouth.

  • Damn, it looks like I missed a good time due to ye Grippe which has had me down for the count for much of this week.

    Did anyone flash/moon Ben Franklin's grave? He would have liked that, because philandering and all that.

    • finallyhappy

      Toss a penny on Ben's grave is what I do but maybe flash/moon is the new good luck thing?

  • ttommyunger

    Haven't seen seen such a prestigious gathering since Yalta-or was it ComicCon?

    • Guppy

      Yalta had more furries.

      • ttommyunger

        Don't recall, I for one, was too young at the time.Sent from my iPhone

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Rebecca, I swear I won't whine any more. I was seriously thinking of flying up for the one tonight though. But I have to fire someone tomorrow.

  • BigoBangoBongo

    Coming to Frankfurt any time soon?

    We have large sausages here.

    • Guppy

      The capital of Kentucky?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Wonkette International? Is that more like the Toastmasters or Club variety?

  • Not_So_Much

    For me, it's good to know so many Wonkers look hu-man. It gives me hope.

  • What a buncha fuckin' FREAKS and drug addicts! Sorry I missed it :'(

  • JackDempsey1

    I almost went. [I live on the R3 Septa line in Wallingford.]
    Unfortunately, my kids are at the stage of life where they refuse to go anywhere that lacks a well-appointed ball pit.

    • OzoneTom

      Well, there were some drinking liberal womens there.

  • vulpes82

    So who's the guy in the Philly's cap? He looks fun.

    • SaintNixon

      That be me. Fun? Don't believe the hype.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I can't wait till Wonkette comes to Minneapolis!

    *Sad puppy eyes*

  • finallyhappy

    you were at McGlinchey's????? I was right down Latimer street on Saturday night-when you were in DC. So when We win the election, will we have another DC thing? Not election night because I'll probably be cold and wet and tired and coming back from god awful Loudoun county- maybe the same polling place as last time where Donald Trump now owns the golf course/country club

    • amarikah

      No if they were at McGlinchey's they would have been smoking inside. They were at Jose Pistola's.

  • steve610

    That's me wearing the orange shirt in the fourth picture. At least you can't see if my eyes are closed.

  • TJBeck

    So I have one friggin' cigarette in six months and it's posted all over the intertubes. Now I know how Obamerz feels.

    • HistoriCat

      This just proves you're morally weak.

      • TJBeck

        I'll just chalk the bad decision up to all the blow I had at work that afternoon

  • iamrrm

    Sadly, I can never attend a Wonkette drinky thingy. I would go from self-righteous quitter to lighting one cig from the butt of the last the instant that I walked through the door.

    • FraAnima

      Likewise; I would go from 12 years sober to black-out slob within 15 minutes.

  • DaveJ

    I'm sad Atrios didn't bring his cats.

  • UnholyMoses

    Okay … we know who Sorosbot and MissTaken and Rebecca are.

    Who the hell is everyone else?

    • SorosBot

      Most of the other attendees were lurkers, though I'm hoping some may start commenting more. And the bearded man with Rebecca in the second pic is none other than Atrios.

      • TJBeck

        I used to be sort of a big deal. Elebenty billion whore diamonds and such.

    • Lamey

      I'm the stripes. I lurk.

      • Chichikovovich

        Welcome, Lamey! I hope you'll de-lurk often now that you've broken the ice.

      • UnholyMoses

        Less lurking, most posting!!

    • SaintNixon

      I'm the creep in the first photo. Everyone there was super-cool and nice, even the DL nerds. Soros and MissT are totes adorbs, only Lady Editor and I were a more charming couple. Did need moar Riley, though. But isn't that always the case?

  • SaintNixon

    PRO TIP ® for NYC Wonkits: Tell the pretty Lady Editor ("Editrix") how pretty she is and give her a giant bottle of Obama smell-goods.

  • rileywaggs

    don't take this the wrong way, but why is it always bearded men who want moar of me? All I wanted in life was to touch some boobies……… sigh.

    • Glad to see you Waggs, how was the teaching gig?

    • SaintNixon

      I made that fancy "moar Riley" index card sign to pass around…and, duh, I don't have no whiskers. Gimme moar.

  • TribecaMike

    How'd you get a hold of my family reunion photos?

  • jamsie25

    Who is that guy in the first picture? Wow, what a total hunk! Really, he's dishy! He sort of reminds me of a DJ I used to know and still love. I wish I had attended the party so I could have met him!

Previous articleRand Paul: Stealing From the Government Just Like Being a Jewish Family During the Holocaust
Next articleGay Fired Romney Foreign Policy Spokesperson Pretty Sure Your Wonkette Responsible For All This Mess