IF WE CAN MAKE IT THERE  2:11 pm September 12, 2012

New York City, It Is Time To Get Your Drinky Thing War On

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

#warblogHaven’t you been patient, NYC? (No, you have not.) Well it is FINALLY your turn for a Wonkette Drinky Thing (the last — and best? — of our East Coast world Tour), if you can wait until tomorrow (Thursday) night. Time and location, where it says “read more”!

Having WARRED on the Philadelphia Drinking Liberally, we have decided it is time to annex the Sudetenland the NYC Drinking Liberally. We have not told them this, so as to better have guerrilla sneak attacks on our side.

We will arrive at Rudy’s Bar, at 627 9th Avenue, near 44th St., at 7 p.m. on Thursday. It is cash-only, so your Editrix will have a limited number of Benjies with which to buy you pitchers, as is her habit.

Be there or be a fucking idiot.

You may donate if you so choose.





 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 137 comments }

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I'll donate, alright. In person. To the Austin meetup.
Yes, I'm a selfish fuck.

fartknocker September 12, 2012 at 2:23 pm

And we should host the function at The Tavern, 12th Street @ N. Lamar. Excellent air conditioning, pub grub, and Shiner Bach on tap. To repeat myself, Fartknocker is purchasing the first and last round.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I can fade that. Though I like the Bock in bottles better, unless they really stay on top of keeping the tap lines clean, which most places don't.

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm

You have an Austin Drinky Thing, with lots of notice, I'm in from Atlanta. I'll even contribute.

Never been to Austin.

iTuna September 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Set that up anyway! I'd show up, were it to occur on a weekend.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Yeah, weekend's pretty much a must for me, too, since it's a 75-90 minute drive and I get up at 430 am for work during the week.

iTuna September 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Hell, I only need to be up at 7 to make it to work on time, but no way I try making it back to Waco the night of a Wonkette party.

glasspusher September 12, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Goddamn. When do you go to sleep? I had a 90 minute commute for 1.5 years and the getting up at 530 thing pretty much mentally disabled me. I got some of it back though- I no longer have to wear the bib.

MosesInvests September 12, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Weekday is better for me, but Saturday night would be OK. Friday-no go.

MosesInvests September 12, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Fireman's Four, please! Or Brewhouse Brown if it's cold out.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Ayn Rand would approve.

fartknocker September 12, 2012 at 5:18 pm

So should we just go rogue and set up a Texas drinky thing in Austin and invite all our friends? Being nice people the Editorix and her crew are invited.

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Yes. Your friends AND your fellow Wonketeers.

emmelemm September 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

We had a rogue Seattle drinky thing, and it was aces.

Schmannnity September 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm

No Big Gulp drinks!

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 3:39 pm

That's only for sugary drinks, like Mai Tais … but you can just get two 32-oz drinks.

Juan_Oriley September 12, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Mai Tais are $4 tonight at Tucans in Palm Springs. I'll be the one straight guy with the ginger and Mexican gays outside if any one cares to join us. That's not A bad price for a drink around here.

SexySmurf September 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I'm offended you're holding it so close to Ground Zero.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:28 pm

And serve alcohol, so everyone is offended. If only there were some strippers there to celebrate real America!

mrpuma2u September 12, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Those poles represent the uh, pillars of democracy, yeah that's it. They aren't strippers they are small exotic business entrepreneurs.

chicken_thief September 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

That college tuition ain't gonna pay for itself.

Incitefully_Joe September 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Private Eyes is three blocks away. Or is that New York Dolls? I forget which one is right near Broadway, and which one is the 9/11 Strip Club.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Private Eyes

Or, uh, so I hear

kittensdontlie September 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I do worry the W-revelers might be drawn to the 9/11 spotlights, like moths to a flame, and follow the waterfalls into the reflecting ponds,…not a desirable outcome.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

"we have decided it is time to annex the NYC Drinking Liberally."

So, Wonkette is kinda like a cuckoo bird, laying its eggs in another bird's nest? I'm sure there's someone out there who knows a lot more about this kind of behaviour than I do.

delaney_blom September 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Avian interspecifc brood parasitism is the term for the behavior. I wrote a paper about it in college.

Many brood parasites' eggs hatch sooner than those of the host species, and some hatchlings have beaks shaped like scoops which makes it easier for them to throw the unhatched host eggs out of the nest.

So, if the wonketteers show up early with 2 x 4s with nails in them (or something like that) and scare off all the NYCDL pussies, then yes, just like cuckoo birds.

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Well, that sounds typical, so alrighty then!

Barbara_ September 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I want to be with Lizzie.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I would like to see video of that…., oh, wait, you just meant meeting her.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I watch that video too, though.

fartknocker September 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I want to be with you and Lizzie. I sense my abdominal muscles would be sore from laughter.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Lizzie and Barb
They wear them cut off britches
And those skinny little halters
And they're second cousins to me
Man I don't care I want to get between 'em
With a great big ol' hard on
Like an old Bois D'arc fence post
You could hang a pipe rail gate from
Do some sister twisters
'Til the cows come home
And we'd be havin' us a time

Biff September 12, 2012 at 3:02 pm

James McMurtry, one of my favorite Texans.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Yowza!

Barbara_ September 12, 2012 at 2:40 pm

That's sweet, thanks.

Limeylizzie September 12, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Hi Baby! I am very, very jet-lagged and our Editrix is showing up at 7 ish, I am so glad the drinky is Thursday as I thought it was tonight and I was nearly crying because I am so tired. We will SKYPE you, let us know when is a good time. I think we may be ordering pizza tonight!

Barbara_ September 13, 2012 at 12:06 am

Lizzie, my love! I will be home tomorrow night and we can SKYPE in our jammies.

Sent you a crazy email. Some brave bitch swiped my cash out ticket tonight in the casino. She ran to the other side of the casino and stuck my ticket in a machine, thinking it would erase the fact that it was tied to my player's club card and the 2,000 security cameras that watch every movement in the casino. She surrendered it quickly when security showed up. Security made me give her the $9.00 she earned playing with my money, LOL.

I will check out of the hotel in Vegas and then I will be in Tucson for a while, shouting, "Thanks a lot for Sarah Palin, John McCain!" and then I will be home around 7-ish PM. Call me and send me cell phone pictures. Love ya!

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I am biting my tongue.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I'd really like to know how these go. Sure I am unbelieveably erudite and witty (gag) at the keyboard, but shy in person. Will someone hold my hand?

Remember Dallas. And Baldar, if there is an Austin thingy, I'll drive down.

Schmannnity September 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Wonkette as pub crawl.

RemyLeHeaux September 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Thanks for all the notice!!!!

SnarkOff September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Right? It's Fashion Week, dammit!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

You should have held it in Newark. Everyone knows all the happening things take place in Newark.

SexySmurf September 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm

They'd have to get another "donate" button just to pay for the tolls.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Maybe that cool mayor dude would come by.

nedbeaumontjr September 12, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Rudy's, eh? Pat the big fiberglass pig on the head for luck.

CrunchyKnee September 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Cash only? Sounds kinda commie.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 2:35 pm

What no bartering?

Limeylizzie September 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Depends what's being bartered.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I'd run with this, but you could comment me up and down the east coast and Mr. Lizzie would beat me up so I will simply say…uh, uh, whatever you want Mistress???

I do wish I could be there. With notice I could have been.

Limeylizzie September 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Damn.MrLL is in LA…

commiegirl99 September 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I HAVE BEEN SAYING WE WOULD HAVE ONE FOR SIX WEEKS. INCLUDING THE DATE. JUST NOT THE PLACE. STOP BITCHING.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 3:04 pm

They should demand gold or nothing.

Incitefully_Joe September 12, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Even moreso when you realize that the common practice at this spot is to buy pitchers when ever you think it's your turn to do so.

Beer socialism, inotherwords.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

To each according to his thirst.

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 5:34 pm

That sounds awfully familiar….I read something like it recently….

Baconzgood September 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

An east coast drinky thing and no Pittsburgh? Baconz thinks you have "The Fear" of our ability to pound the booze.

102415 September 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Hey, shouldn't you be getting in line to vote in November about now?

commiegirl99 September 14, 2012 at 1:44 am

Hey I know you!

102415 September 14, 2012 at 12:26 pm

*kiss* *kiss* ;)

Isner_Mahut September 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Woo! Rudy's! Promise not to tell Justin you're crashing…

Incitefully_Joe September 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

He… might already be aware, actually >_> <_<

Isner_Mahut September 12, 2012 at 4:09 pm

You mean things on the internets aren't secret? Shit, gotta go delete my adultfriendfinder profile. BRB.

102415 September 12, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Hey Justin! We're coming!

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I didn't know Guliani owned a bar.

proudgrampa September 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

So can I start soliciting for "proudgrampa's Drinky Funtime"? Please send your donations (cash preferred).

For each donation, I will personally prepare and imbibe one Sapphire martini (olives or onions? — please specify with donation) in your honor.

Love,

proud "Every drink I have, I have for you" grampa

IncenseDebate September 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I may show. Not sure I want to reveal that I associate with the likes of you.

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 3:27 pm

You obviously wouldn't be a member of a club that would have you as a member.

102415 September 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Just put a bag over your head.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

*sigh*

Just like my last date

*sigh*

Lucidamente1 September 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I have to be out of town tomorrow, and so I has a very big sad. My liver, on the other hand, is calling off its letter-writing campaign to Amnesty International.

Beowoof September 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

From the picture I would think I would be bringing a 12 pack to Central Park.

CarbonDating September 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Free hot dogs at Rudy's! Maybe we can has some sort of contest ?

UnholyMoses September 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

When is the meetup thingy in Kansas City?

Anyone?

Bueller… ?

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Do you mean Kansas City, Kansas, or Kansas City, Missouri?

UnholyMoses September 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Lulz

FTR: KCKS is a craphole, aside from the Legends area (where the racetrack, Livestrong Park, and other stuff is). Well, so is KCMO, but there are more not-all-that-crapholly areas.

SnarkOff September 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Either way they've got a crazy way of lovin' there.

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

More Editrix baby pics?

magic_titty September 12, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Will Newell be there? I'd like him to sign my copy of Ken Layne's Dignity?

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Maybe you can get Rebeki-beki-beki-schoen to sign it.

glasspusher September 12, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Win

Chet Kincaid_ September 12, 2012 at 11:18 pm

"What is your name? No, that's not it."

Antispandex September 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm

This is really taking it easy, sucking up to the far northeast librul establishment types! What about the folks fighting for democracy out here in kinda the middle-western-northy section of the country? People in hell needs love also!

Dr_Zoidberg September 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Yeah! What about Wyoming, huh? Imagine the fun we could have, dodging the rocks thrown our way thanks to all our librul gear.

Genio1 September 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

So happy the East coast got a tour. Now come visit us in the wild, wild (libtard) west. Davis, Cali-fragi-socialistic, maybe? There's plenty of lovely, dreary, college kid crowded dinky dives in our UCD hamlet 20 minutes west of Sac..holla

gullywompr September 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Gonna take a long time to hit all 57 states…

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 5:40 pm

If you're seeing double, it's 114. In the shade.

pdiddycornchips September 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Why on Thursday night Becca? I have to be in Newark, DE all day but if the festivities are still ongoing around 11, I'll be there to soak up your benji's and/or post bail for my fellow wonkette-sters.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Stop in Trenton and pick up Prommie!

Pres.Beeblebrox September 12, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Stop by Wilmington and pick me up!

RRoccoco September 12, 2012 at 3:30 pm

That's within stumbling distance of my homestead! But to hell with patience–I started drinky thingying with Philly, and I'm not stopping until the Editrix in Chief is taking more of those sideways pics with her iPhone.

DahBoner September 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm

//whistles

New York Fucking City.
http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&source=

The Friendliest People In The World.

Why else would so many people want to live so close together?

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The official T-shirt is:

WELCOME TO NEW YORK! LEAVE YOUR MONEY AND GET OUT!

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Well, last Saturday I learned from my Eye Doctor I absolutely need now a procedure which will stave off having the lenses in my eyes go all cold souffle on me. Doctor did the first eye on Monday and upon further examination scheduled the second for Thursday. Since he told his front office he was canceling his day off to do it I got pretty convinced his urgency was not motivated by the lousy enumeration offered by the Aetna.

So every time a Wonkette takes a drink an old fart will see another babe on this beach.

102415 September 12, 2012 at 9:25 pm

We will dear James. We will.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Buddy, I'll make sure fucking Baywatch shows up.

James Michael Curley September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Thanks, I just got back and the prognosis is good but when I asked the Doctor “Can I go hang out with a hedonistic cabal of shut ins who only come out at night to pickle their livers?” He said “Thanksgiving is in November, but wait until the weekend.”

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 3:53 pm

OT but speaking of war…

I see Rand Paul thinks the US government reclaiming property that was stolen from it in '39 is just like the Nazis confiscating artwork from Jews.

I suspect the Jewish families who decades later used the same principle our government applied to reclaim those paintings might have a different viewpoint.

MosesInvests September 12, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Godwin, Schmodwin.

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 5:50 pm

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Good thing Rand never had one.

NorthStarSpanx September 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

Hey Rand, this is awesome Senatorial line of thinking for many of the American Indian Tribes that think they still have a shot at getting their lands back from the likes of you.

qwerty42 September 12, 2012 at 4:04 pm

These drinky-thing meetups have sounded pretty good.

NorthStarSpanx September 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

I want to go to there.

commiegirl99 September 14, 2012 at 1:45 am

And so you did.

FraAnima September 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

BYO AK-47!

glasspusher September 12, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Three great things that go great together.

BklynE September 12, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Ding dangit! I'll be a' poll-watchin' at tomorrow's NYC Primary. Donation forthcoming for someone to drink in my place as I prepare exhibits for future voter suppression lawsuits against the Board of Elections (can you tell I live in Bay Ridge?)…

glasspusher September 12, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Pole smoking? Pole dancing?

jackoapostrophe September 12, 2012 at 5:39 pm

OKAY, SO:

i read wonkette all day every day but never comment and don't know anyone but this is happening 12 blocks from my work in NYC, should i come to it? my destiny, it is in your hands.

gullywompr September 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Yes.

bobbert September 12, 2012 at 6:08 pm

As a survivor of the SF Drinkup, I advise you that your attendance is mandatory.

We had quite a few non-commenters, and they were just as fun and interesting as anybody.

(Disclaimer — my enthusiasm for these meetups is quite high. I drove 150 miles to the one in SF).

emmelemm September 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Yes. I am a reticent person in general, but the (unofficial) Seattle drinky was SO. MUCH. FUN.

You will not regret it.

102415 September 12, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Double yes. Please come.

jackoapostrophe September 13, 2012 at 12:06 am

What happens when I get there and dont know anyone? Are name tags involved? There's not enough Wellbutrin in the world to make this easy for me.

102415 September 13, 2012 at 12:25 am

Well, just stare at everyone and randomly mutter "Wonkette?" No will notice unless they wanted to punch someone all day or one of us decides to save you.
Hey, it's Rudy's, the hot dogs are free the beer is cheap. You'll find us. And if you don't you won't care!

NorthStarSpanx September 13, 2012 at 10:40 am

Come. The silent majority is always welcome.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Absolutely!

You'll make friends and then you'll find yourself commenting and next thing you know, your IT department will submit a report to your boss and you'll be out of work like the rest of us!

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:22 pm
ttommyunger September 12, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Looks like I picked the wrong decade to quit drinking.

mrblifil September 12, 2012 at 7:08 pm

What, no dinner and a show? I would have to come from Bklyn. I only wish 44th and 9th was like it used to be, then it would have been a truly worthy spot for Wonketts. I'll just go ahead and bring a few trannies anyway.

rocktonsam September 12, 2012 at 7:16 pm

would it kill anybody to bring a camera that doesn't takes sideways pictures and show boobs also?

glasspusher September 12, 2012 at 10:32 pm

This.

415buzzard September 12, 2012 at 9:19 pm

My New York sister is coming! She doesn't comment here but she is a devoted Wonkette follower. Bring your single male friends please.

Limeylizzie September 14, 2012 at 10:16 am

Is that Jessica?

415buzzard September 14, 2012 at 1:15 pm

No, she is a Katherine and I'm still waiting for her to call and tell me about it ( if she actually showed up!) Can't find her in the photos posted, but there is a nice one of you!

Limeylizzie September 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Is she short with reddish hair and glasses?

415buzzard September 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Short, thin with almost black short hair, no glasses. Looks like a "New York Art Lady" / fashionista type.

102415 September 12, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Boobs. They will be there.

SaintNixon September 12, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Watch out, Big Apple. Lady Editor smells good…real good.

Jack Stuef September 12, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Hello Wonketteers! My liver will be attending this.

Chet Kincaid_ September 12, 2012 at 11:23 pm

They will notice, as soon as they sober up.

actor212 September 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Say what now?

guangho September 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

If I had a job, which I don't (of course!), I'd say I'll join you after work.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Use that riding crop more, I like that.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Great, now we just need to get Fartknocker to set a date. Because I don't know if we're going to get a visit from the coast.

iTuna September 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Yeah, and I'm not sure how having Shiner on tap makes a difference. Every self-respecting bar in the state has Shiner (which, truthfully, is better bottled). I'd suggest either the Ginger Man or Easy Tiger, although Easy Tiger is, unfortunately, on 6th Street.

Limeylizzie September 14, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I don't remember her, but I was insanely jet-lagged.

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