if we can make it there

New York City, It Is Time To Get Your Drinky Thing War On

#warblogHaven’t you been patient, NYC? (No, you have not.) Well it is FINALLY your turn for a Wonkette Drinky Thing (the last — and best? — of our East Coast world Tour), if you can wait until tomorrow (Thursday) night. Time and location, where it says “read more”!

Having WARRED on the Philadelphia Drinking Liberally, we have decided it is time to annex the Sudetenland the NYC Drinking Liberally. We have not told them this, so as to better have guerrilla sneak attacks on our side.

We will arrive at Rudy’s Bar, at 627 9th Avenue, near 44th St., at 7 p.m. on Thursday. It is cash-only, so your Editrix will have a limited number of Benjies with which to buy you pitchers, as is her habit.

Be there or be a fucking idiot.

You may donate if you so choose.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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    1. fartknocker

      And we should host the function at The Tavern, 12th Street @ N. Lamar. Excellent air conditioning, pub grub, and Shiner Bach on tap. To repeat myself, Fartknocker is purchasing the first and last round.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I can fade that. Though I like the Bock in bottles better, unless they really stay on top of keeping the tap lines clean, which most places don't.

        1. Boojum

          You have an Austin Drinky Thing, with lots of notice, I'm in from Atlanta. I'll even contribute.

          Never been to Austin.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Yeah, weekend's pretty much a must for me, too, since it's a 75-90 minute drive and I get up at 430 am for work during the week.

          1. iTuna

            Hell, I only need to be up at 7 to make it to work on time, but no way I try making it back to Waco the night of a Wonkette party.

          2. BaldarTFlagass

            Great, now we just need to get Fartknocker to set a date. Because I don't know if we're going to get a visit from the coast.

          3. iTuna

            Yeah, and I'm not sure how having Shiner on tap makes a difference. Every self-respecting bar in the state has Shiner (which, truthfully, is better bottled). I'd suggest either the Ginger Man or Easy Tiger, although Easy Tiger is, unfortunately, on 6th Street.

          4. glasspusher

            Goddamn. When do you go to sleep? I had a 90 minute commute for 1.5 years and the getting up at 530 thing pretty much mentally disabled me. I got some of it back though- I no longer have to wear the bib.

    2. fartknocker

      So should we just go rogue and set up a Texas drinky thing in Austin and invite all our friends? Being nice people the Editorix and her crew are invited.

      1. Juan_Oriley

        Mai Tais are $4 tonight at Tucans in Palm Springs. I'll be the one straight guy with the ginger and Mexican gays outside if any one cares to join us. That's not A bad price for a drink around here.

      1. mrpuma2u

        Those poles represent the uh, pillars of democracy, yeah that's it. They aren't strippers they are small exotic business entrepreneurs.

    1. kittensdontlie

      I do worry the W-revelers might be drawn to the 9/11 spotlights, like moths to a flame, and follow the waterfalls into the reflecting ponds,…not a desirable outcome.

  1. BaldarTFlagass

    "we have decided it is time to annex the NYC Drinking Liberally."

    So, Wonkette is kinda like a cuckoo bird, laying its eggs in another bird's nest? I'm sure there's someone out there who knows a lot more about this kind of behaviour than I do.

    1. delaney_blom

      Avian interspecifc brood parasitism is the term for the behavior. I wrote a paper about it in college.

      Many brood parasites' eggs hatch sooner than those of the host species, and some hatchlings have beaks shaped like scoops which makes it easier for them to throw the unhatched host eggs out of the nest.

      So, if the wonketteers show up early with 2 x 4s with nails in them (or something like that) and scare off all the NYCDL pussies, then yes, just like cuckoo birds.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Lizzie and Barb
        They wear them cut off britches
        And those skinny little halters
        And they're second cousins to me
        Man I don't care I want to get between 'em
        With a great big ol' hard on
        Like an old Bois D'arc fence post
        You could hang a pipe rail gate from
        Do some sister twisters
        'Til the cows come home
        And we'd be havin' us a time

        1. Limeylizzie

          Hi Baby! I am very, very jet-lagged and our Editrix is showing up at 7 ish, I am so glad the drinky is Thursday as I thought it was tonight and I was nearly crying because I am so tired. We will SKYPE you, let us know when is a good time. I think we may be ordering pizza tonight!

          1. Barbara_

            Lizzie, my love! I will be home tomorrow night and we can SKYPE in our jammies.

            Sent you a crazy email. Some brave bitch swiped my cash out ticket tonight in the casino. She ran to the other side of the casino and stuck my ticket in a machine, thinking it would erase the fact that it was tied to my player's club card and the 2,000 security cameras that watch every movement in the casino. She surrendered it quickly when security showed up. Security made me give her the $9.00 she earned playing with my money, LOL.

            I will check out of the hotel in Vegas and then I will be in Tucson for a while, shouting, "Thanks a lot for Sarah Palin, John McCain!" and then I will be home around 7-ish PM. Call me and send me cell phone pictures. Love ya!

  2. Jus_Wonderin

    I'd really like to know how these go. Sure I am unbelieveably erudite and witty (gag) at the keyboard, but shy in person. Will someone hold my hand?

    Remember Dallas. And Baldar, if there is an Austin thingy, I'll drive down.

        1. Jus_Wonderin

          I'd run with this, but you could comment me up and down the east coast and Mr. Lizzie would beat me up so I will simply say…uh, uh, whatever you want Mistress???

          I do wish I could be there. With notice I could have been.

          1. commiegirl99


  3. Baconzgood

    An east coast drinky thing and no Pittsburgh? Baconz thinks you have "The Fear" of our ability to pound the booze.

      1. Isner_Mahut

        You mean things on the internets aren't secret? Shit, gotta go delete my adultfriendfinder profile. BRB.

  4. proudgrampa

    So can I start soliciting for "proudgrampa's Drinky Funtime"? Please send your donations (cash preferred).

    For each donation, I will personally prepare and imbibe one Sapphire martini (olives or onions? — please specify with donation) in your honor.


    proud "Every drink I have, I have for you" grampa

  5. Lucidamente1

    I have to be out of town tomorrow, and so I has a very big sad. My liver, on the other hand, is calling off its letter-writing campaign to Amnesty International.

      1. UnholyMoses


        FTR: KCKS is a craphole, aside from the Legends area (where the racetrack, Livestrong Park, and other stuff is). Well, so is KCMO, but there are more not-all-that-crapholly areas.

  6. Antispandex

    This is really taking it easy, sucking up to the far northeast librul establishment types! What about the folks fighting for democracy out here in kinda the middle-western-northy section of the country? People in hell needs love also!

    1. Dr_Zoidberg

      Yeah! What about Wyoming, huh? Imagine the fun we could have, dodging the rocks thrown our way thanks to all our librul gear.

  7. Genio1

    So happy the East coast got a tour. Now come visit us in the wild, wild (libtard) west. Davis, Cali-fragi-socialistic, maybe? There's plenty of lovely, dreary, college kid crowded dinky dives in our UCD hamlet 20 minutes west of Sac..holla

  8. pdiddycornchips

    Why on Thursday night Becca? I have to be in Newark, DE all day but if the festivities are still ongoing around 11, I'll be there to soak up your benji's and/or post bail for my fellow wonkette-sters.

  9. RRoccoco

    That's within stumbling distance of my homestead! But to hell with patience–I started drinky thingying with Philly, and I'm not stopping until the Editrix in Chief is taking more of those sideways pics with her iPhone.

  10. James Michael Curley

    Well, last Saturday I learned from my Eye Doctor I absolutely need now a procedure which will stave off having the lenses in my eyes go all cold souffle on me. Doctor did the first eye on Monday and upon further examination scheduled the second for Thursday. Since he told his front office he was canceling his day off to do it I got pretty convinced his urgency was not motivated by the lousy enumeration offered by the Aetna.

    So every time a Wonkette takes a drink an old fart will see another babe on this beach.

      1. James Michael Curley

        Thanks, I just got back and the prognosis is good but when I asked the Doctor “Can I go hang out with a hedonistic cabal of shut ins who only come out at night to pickle their livers?” He said “Thanksgiving is in November, but wait until the weekend.”

  11. sullivanst

    OT but speaking of war…

    I see Rand Paul thinks the US government reclaiming property that was stolen from it in '39 is just like the Nazis confiscating artwork from Jews.

    I suspect the Jewish families who decades later used the same principle our government applied to reclaim those paintings might have a different viewpoint.

        1. NorthStarSpanx

          Hey Rand, this is awesome Senatorial line of thinking for many of the American Indian Tribes that think they still have a shot at getting their lands back from the likes of you.

  12. BklynE

    Ding dangit! I'll be a' poll-watchin' at tomorrow's NYC Primary. Donation forthcoming for someone to drink in my place as I prepare exhibits for future voter suppression lawsuits against the Board of Elections (can you tell I live in Bay Ridge?)…

  13. jackoapostrophe

    OKAY, SO:

    i read wonkette all day every day but never comment and don't know anyone but this is happening 12 blocks from my work in NYC, should i come to it? my destiny, it is in your hands.

    1. bobbert

      As a survivor of the SF Drinkup, I advise you that your attendance is mandatory.

      We had quite a few non-commenters, and they were just as fun and interesting as anybody.

      (Disclaimer — my enthusiasm for these meetups is quite high. I drove 150 miles to the one in SF).

    2. emmelemm

      Yes. I am a reticent person in general, but the (unofficial) Seattle drinky was SO. MUCH. FUN.

      You will not regret it.

      1. jackoapostrophe

        What happens when I get there and dont know anyone? Are name tags involved? There's not enough Wellbutrin in the world to make this easy for me.

    3. 102415

      Well, just stare at everyone and randomly mutter "Wonkette?" No will notice unless they wanted to punch someone all day or one of us decides to save you.
      Hey, it's Rudy's, the hot dogs are free the beer is cheap. You'll find us. And if you don't you won't care!

    4. actor212


      You'll make friends and then you'll find yourself commenting and next thing you know, your IT department will submit a report to your boss and you'll be out of work like the rest of us!

  14. mrblifil

    What, no dinner and a show? I would have to come from Bklyn. I only wish 44th and 9th was like it used to be, then it would have been a truly worthy spot for Wonketts. I'll just go ahead and bring a few trannies anyway.

  15. 415buzzard

    My New York sister is coming! She doesn't comment here but she is a devoted Wonkette follower. Bring your single male friends please.

      1. 415buzzard

        No, she is a Katherine and I'm still waiting for her to call and tell me about it ( if she actually showed up!) Can't find her in the photos posted, but there is a nice one of you!

          1. 415buzzard

            Short, thin with almost black short hair, no glasses. Looks like a "New York Art Lady" / fashionista type.

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