please leave the dick jokes to your wonket

Sarah Palin Wishes Barack Obama Had A Bigger Penis

Mmmm, cockThere seems to have been a small amount of tsuris in the Middle East yesterday, as a large lot of Libyans decided to kill some Americans. This makes most people show proper somberness and gravity. But not Sarah Palin! She is busy being very ladylike, by talking about the president’s penis. Let us go to her Facebook page, where all the world’s greatest statesmen gather to orate their profundities, and marvel at her good sense and wisdom!

Blah blah blah, Palin Palin Palin:

It’s about time our president stood up for America and condemned these Islamic extremists. I realize there must be a lot on his mind these days – what with our economy’s abysmal jobless numbers and Moody’s new warning about yet another downgrade to our nation’s credit rating due to the current administration’s failure to come up with a credible deficit reduction plan. And, of course, he has a busy schedule – with all those rounds of golf, softball interviews with the “Pimp with the Limp,” and fundraising dinners with his corporate cronies. But our nation’s security should be of utmost importance to our Commander-in-chief. America can’t afford any more “leading from behind” in such a dangerous world. We already know that President Obama likes to “speak softly” to our enemies. If he doesn’t have a “big stick” to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one.

Emphasis added, by us, to direct your eyes directly to where Sarah Palin talks about the president growing a penis. This might be even more statesmanlike than Mitt Romney’s statements on Libya, wherein by all appearances (and on which we MIGHT SOMEDAY HAVE A POST if any of our Jesse’s decide to drop in) he fucked the dog.

[Facebook]

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Comments

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  • One_who_wanders

    Sarah is blogging repeatedly to this idea. . . .

    • blackkgold

      so now we really know whats on Sarah's mind…You know how when women like you the most they criticize you the most..It all makes sense now in retrospect..she went straight to the dick joke..Kinda like the "shut up and just fuck me" moment…I bet Mitt has a small stick..I mean it..lets calls him "Smalll Stick Mitt" from now on

  • ChrisM2011

    Hey- Once you go Barack you never go back!

  • freakishlywrong

    Sarah Palin wouldn't know a big stick if she choked on it. Yes, that, please.

    • An_Outhouse

      I'm guessing all the Palin females have known a stick or two.

      • sullivanst

        They've probably all choked on a few, but "known" is hard to prove.

    • HempDogbane

      She typed "If he doesn’t have a “big stick” to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one, with big throbbing veins" but Facebook wouldn't allow that kind of talk.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Choke on it, with votes.

    • Ohforcripessake

      With a mouth that big I doubt there is one big enough for her to choke on, a human one anyway..

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    After Glen Rice it is tough to impress Sarah.

    • mrpuma2u

      Although it seems like I will want to shower with bleach afterwords, you have created a fappable image/scenario just now.

      • I_P

        Make it a hate fuck and you can just revel in it.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      His vertical leap while escaping her clutches must have been phenomenal.

    • BoroPrimorac

      Glenn's ex-wife left him for a short, scrawny aerobics instructor. Maybe Sarah wants to see Hopey's stick because she was short changed by Mr. Rice.

  • UnholyMoses

    Well, if anyone knows about sticks — big or small — it's the Palin clan.

    • bumfug

      She needs 'em big so they don't just slap around in there…

  • Baconzgood

    Who?

    • LesBontemps

      Exactly.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I believe this is the Quitter Half-Term Governor of Alaska that Bill Kristol had an affair with.

        In Conservative circles, that makes her a "deep thinker."

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Him TOO? Is there anyone Sarah HASN'T fucked? Speak now, or forever hold your piece.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Did you see that? I smiled a genuine smile, because we can finally say that.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        She and Terry Jones are sure going to be fighting for news cycle cache once she's dropped from Fox News.

  • mrpuma2u

    One kinda figured the Wasilla grifter for a size queen….

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You kidding? After, what, five, six kids? Takes a lot to fill that hoo-ha.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        A truckload of cement would probly do the the job quite nicely. Bonus points for keeping her occupied with unfilling for the next X years so we don't have to hear that high, grating, nasal shriek ever again.

      • Steverino247

        If she needed stitches for those deliveries, the doctor could have tightened things back up pretty well, you know.

    • I_P

      Insert hot dog/bowling alley joke here…

      • Gleem McShineys

        Done!

        Nope, still plenty of room in here.

  • Beowoof

    She just wants Barack to show it to her so she determine if Glen Rice's was bigger. Break a tooth on it bitch.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      She has teeth in her coochie? Oh, jeeze.

      • Beowoof

        Vagina Dentata Is a real problem.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Dammit, the linky is broken, which makes me so mad because I was hoping to see a little vagina today. Guess I gotta get my porn-watching in instead.

          • Beowoof

            Try this one, the line near the end where the "Dr." says to consult your doctor or dentist about this problem made me push Diet Cherry 7Up out my nose.
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgHN1GvF40I

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Did you see the comments? I lmfao! Somewhere out there, a few dozen (or hundred) teenage boys are worrying about their weenies being et alive. Oh, christ, I can't stand it. Those poor, poor kids.

  • Graham Cracker

    She is just hoping that if she complains enough about Barry's penis he will hold it against her.

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh, and fuck these UN-statesmenlike assholes. Also. You LOST, twunt. Go away.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Lou Sarah shows all the statesmanship and honesty of Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney.

    Or rather, vice versa.

    • OzoneTom

      I think that all of these traitorous sociopaths need to re-think their rejection of the axiom "politics stops at the water's edge."

      In their own self-interest even.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      The good news is, every single Republican policy wonk has now effectively distanced themselves from @MittRomney, even that ball-gargler Joe Lieberman. And the press is starting to call his reaction to the Libya incident evidence that he's not ready to be President.

      • emmelemm

        Ball-gargler. Heh heh.

  • sharethegrief

    Bristol would pay big bucks to watch a penis growing.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Great, now that you have given her an idea, she will probably have a reality show that is exactly that.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        She sits by the phone, awaiting the day that momentous phone call finally makes its way to her, alone and scared in the middle of nowhere.

    • Biff

      Not enough wine coolers in the world…

  • Oblios_Cap

    This might be even more statesmanlike than Mitt Romney’s statements on Libya, wherein by all appearances he fucked the dog.

    And then put the poor thing, in a carrier, on his roof. The shit's still streaming down.

    I guess $arah is saying that Barry is no Glen Rice?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I'm exhausted. Somebody else do the "MacArthur Park" parody!

    • Biff

      OMG, so the dog actually santorumed, not romneyed?

  • MadBrahms

    Yes, Barry, speak softly to us some more. Mmm…

    Wait, sorry, was Sarah Palin involved in this somehow? I got distracted.

  • Lucidamente1

    Is Trig now writing her Facebook entries? Because this one sure sounds r*****ed.

    • MadBrahms

      Redacted?

      • sullivanst

        I wish it had been, in its entirety.

        • NorthStarSpanx

          I think he can only elevate the dialog over Mama Grizzly's mind grapes.

  • Baconzgood

    DOES THIS CUNT EVER FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!! TALK ABOUT MILKING IT! YOU WERE A 1/2 TERM GOVERNER FROM A STATE THAT HAS MORE BEARS THAN PEOPLE AND A FUCKING FAILED VP CANDIDATE!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!

    • Thurman Munster IV

      I still can't believe that Baconzgood is Desmond Tutu's mom de Wonkette. Keep it up Desmond, deck her

      • MadBrahms

        He's been the life of the party ever since we banned Nelson Mandela for threatening to "skullfuck" Steve King.

      • Pat_Pending

        'Desmond, deck her'

        I see what you did there!

        • sewollef

          I'm telling you now…. he is NOT Israeli.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Oh, you meant "nom." I was trying to figure out how the fuck Baconz is Desmond Tutu's Mom!

        • Baconzgood

          YOUR MOM!

        • Thurman Munster IV

          Fucking autocorrect

    • Pat_Pending

      I love it when folks lose their shit over the stoopedity of dah Palin.

    • Boojum

      When you talk about Sarah milking it in the context of Obama's penis, it's like you have a direct connection to what, in humans, is called the limbic cortex but, for Sarah, is known as "her brain."

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_
      • Baconzgood

        Nailed it.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Just don't throw yourself into the deep end of a pool!

      • Thurman Munster IV

        FTW

    • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      Never was there a more perfect place for an all-caps response. Bravo Sir and/or Madam.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Now, Baconz, I know you're good, but you need to stop screaming and waving your arms like that at the window, or the people below you will start screaming "Jump!" just like we do every year at the Bankers' Heart monument on St. Stupid's Day.

      • Baconzgood

        Her and Frothy just put a burr under my saddle.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I just don't walt our beloved BaconzGood, much-adored Piglet of Snark, to leave us with a myocardial infarct, dood.

    • spareme

      Baconz , I have a couple of zanax with your name on them – I suggest you hold on to them during this race. Having said that, you are my new hero!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I have trouble with these posts. While I like making fun of Sarah Palin, I also think that posting about her Facebook rants make her seem more important than she is. Can't we just ignore her or unfriend her like we do with other Facebook nutbags?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It's like watching reality teevee. It's fascinating how truly awful some people are.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Yeah, I don't watch that shit either. Also, I am worried about what reporting on Sarah is doing to baconz's mental health.

        • anniegetyerfun

          I watched TV for the first time in years the other day and couldn't believe that I had 500 channels with NOTHING worth watching on.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Yeah, me too. Baconz, I mean. Couldn't give two shits about Scarah.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It's the same psychology that makes us slow down and look at the multi-car accident on the other side of the highway, even though the wreck itself has nothing to do with anything that's happening on our side.

  • Barbara_

    You would think that driving around all day to get her kids in to take their GED tests and to OB/GYN and ultrasound appointments, she wouldn't have time to think of such things.

    • Boojum

      That's all she thinks about, while driving to her irrelevancy seminars and cancelled events and places to which she was not invited.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, but that would suggest she was actually parenting. Which we know ain't her strong suit.

      And I say this having spent something like 7 hours yesterday shuttling my kids around (to two schools on opposite sides of the city, then to and from a dr. appointment in the burbs, then from one's school to home, then to the other one's school and her tutor, then grab a bite to eat). Oh, and then do an hour of fucking math homework that makes me nuts because it is exactly the same stuff as last year, but with slightly different language which makes my autistic son stare at it like it is Swahili. I am looking forward to starting my PhD coursework just for the excuse to not be available for some of this shit.

      • Barbara_

        B. Bear, you are an amazing person and a blessing.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      The nights are long and lonely up there, with Tawd whoring from igloo to igloo.

  • Baconzgood

    I saw Nalin' Pailin and the POTUS can grow a "big stick".

  • CrunchyKnee

    Religion sucks. Muslins are a religion of peace, yet when someone says they are violent, a bunch of them get violent? Chistianist suck as well. And don't get me started on those freaking Buddhists.

    Oh yeah, Palin is still a cunt. Also too.

    • Boojum

      Om, motherfucker.

      • CrunchyKnee

        Heheh.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Islam is a religion of peace, but when someone depicts Mohammed in a bad light some of them lose their shit when their imams whip them up over it.

      Shit, can you imagine what a bunch of Baptists would do if there was similar treatment of Jesus. Oh, right – they'd threaten everyone involved and engage in various acts of vandalism – and they don't have access to rockets and mortars.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Yet.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I think she should write for Foreign Affairs instead of Facebook.

    • MadBrahms

      Isn't Todd responsible for all of the affairs in that family?

    • James Michael Curley

      She decline because she thought Todd would find out about that long French weekend.

    • Steverino247

      Wasilla Affairs

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    What's it called again when someone who's all talk criticizes the president for not taking action? Oh yeah — "Wednesday."

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Excellent. Everyday is Wednesday for Our Sarah.

      • Biff

        According to her dated panties, anyway.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          And boy are they dated.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Its so big she could see it from her house.

  • sullivanst

    Mrs. Palin, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this bloog is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    • PsycWench

      I was actually reminded of this classic myself.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Perennial, every time Sarah opens her mouth.

    • spareme

      no surprise here.

  • LastGasp

    Well to me, nothing says “big stick” like the fact that he killed Bin Laden.

    Suck on that, Sarah.

    • Goonemeritus

      I heard that Obama made the Seal team apologize to Bin Laden prior to shooting him.

    • Boojum

      Killed bin Laden WITH HIS DICK, by shooting him square in the eye. Be warned ladies, the Barackness Monster has some hydraulic prowess.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    she wants to be able to see his stick from her house.

  • no_gravity

    Special Snowflake lives for moments like this when she can lift her skirt saying: Mr. President, look at me, look at me. And yet he still ignores her. Just like Glen Rice did the next day.

  • PsycWench

    Doesn't matter how big it is, Sarah, you'll never see it.

    • Boojum

      You just made Sarah cry.

  • mr bojangles

    cool…she pals around with big sticks! who knew.

  • StarsUponThars

    I guess I missed her post where she condemned the Christian extremists; you know, the ones who picket funerals, blow up women's health clinics and shoot doctors in the head at the dinner table.

    • sullivanst

      shoot doctors in the head at the dinner table.

      Or in church.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If she's such a Cassandra, how come she hasn't been able to predict her own inevitable descent into irrelevancy? I mean, Facebook? Wouldn't Red State or Free Republic give her some bandwidth?

    • MadBrahms

      Isn't Facebook's stock already dropping like a stone? Do they really want to associate themselves with the Palin brand? Maybe she should be moved to MySpace, or possibly Orkut, where her irrelevancy would fit in.

      • Biff

        Friendster.

    • chicken_thief

      "Wouldn't Red State or Free Republic give her some bandwidth? "

      No.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Apparently they have some standards. Who knew.

  • HempDogbane

    This reactionary criticism by Wonket again shows liberals are completely unable to deal with an attractive, intelligent Conservative Woman such as the Governor.

    • PsycWench

      Since she was only a half-term governor I believer her title is more appropriately the Nor.

      • Ruhe

        Ahem…I believe at the time the coinage "Gover…" was suggested and met with wide approval. Consult the Wonkette style book please.

    • SmutBoffin

      DEMONCRAPS CANNOT HANDLE THE TROOF: THAT SARA PALEIN AND HER FAMILY HAVE MORE AMERICA IN THIER EXHAUSTED UTERUSES THAN NOBAMA HAS IN HIS ENTIRE KENYAN BODY

      • Boojum

        Oh, I'm sure those uterine caverns are nowhere near exhausted. They will pop out props as needed until the Rapture.

    • Guppy

      an attractive, intelligent Conservative Woman

      I've yet to see one.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      You are right, we should stop criticizing Mitt Romney.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I've heard of "growing a pair," but not of growing a big stick.
    Mix metaphors much, darling?

  • ShuCityRefugee

    Undoubtedly, Ambassador Stevens' family are deeply moved by former-Governor Palin's thoughtful expressions of condolence.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Sounds better. Makes more sense.

    [plug for C_R_'s eco-links in Wonkville. Lotsa good stuff ]

    • Doktor Zoom

      You're gibbon that guy too much credit.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Aye – aye can't help it.

        • Doktor Zoom

          I guess we should give him a brachiate so bad, really.

          • Blueb4sinrise

            Heh! That's a howler.

    • ThundercatHo

      My dogs came tearing into the room and stood rapt while this was playing. They never did that for Sarah.

  • Boojum

    Sarah got beat by the stupid stick, which she was dreaming was Barry Bamz Crotch Monster.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Re. the Mittens thingy…he managed to come off as insensitive, opportunistic, and incompetent all at once. A trifecta of Mittenness!

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Ever since Glen Rice she has been craving for one, just one. Maybe all that cravin' is a sign that she's preggers again.

  • VaWyo

    I'm sure Obama's "stick" is bigger than Todd's.

  • StarsUponThars

    Alt-txt made an unflattering cackle sound come out of my mouth. Thanks for that.

    • emmelemm

      Me too, man, me too.

  • An_Outhouse

    Who is the 'Pimp with a Limp'? WTF is she talking about?

    • sullivanst

      I wondered that, too.

      • An_Outhouse

        I googled it. It linked to something on Faux News. Those people are getting so insular they speak in code.

        • sullivanst

          Apparently, this is what's been echoing around the chamber for the last 24+ hours.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Thank you for your service.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      That's what I'm wondering. Al Sharpton?

    • thedeathofirony

      I was wondering the same thing, did I miss some VERY IMPORTANT NEWS STORY?

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      And what are the softball questions this pimp is asking? "Do you want a white women?"

  • Pookums

    I'm reminded of "Blazing Saddles"

    "Is it true what they say about the way you people are gifted? Zzzzzzzip! Oh it's Twue…. it's twue…. it's twue!"

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Everyone was laughing so hard at that in the theater that they never heard Cleavon's "You wanna stop sucking on my arm?" line.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Just re-watched Blazing Saddles this weekend. It is amazing how prescient Mel Brooks was. He is the Nostradamus of our times.

        • HistoriCat

          Mel Brooks is fucking awesome but I believe some of the credit should go to Richard Pryor.

        • emmelemm

          We can only hope, since the Ni– sheriff won in the end of that one, eh?

          • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

            As long as you are not Irish.

            However, I don't see Sarah Palin showing up at the White House door with a pie and saying "Sorry about the 'Up yours, Nigger.'"

  • LesBontemps

    How's that hookworm, Sarah?

  • edgydrifter

    YEAH! You tell 'em, Hockey Grizzly! Boy, if only we had YOU in charge instead of HUSSEIN!! Why, I bet you'd handle this just like the time you… uh… that time you… shucks, I can't recall now, but I BET IT WAS GREAT!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Its not that I believe women don't belong in politics, but were I trying to make that argument, this would certainly be exhibit A.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Idiots an a-holes – and particularly the combination of the two – of either gender should stick to other pursuits. Say, maybe, reality show pimp.

      • greenloner

        If politics ain't a reality show, especially campaign politics, I don't know what is.

  • JustPixelz

    "But our nation’s security should be of utmost importance to our Commander-in-chief."

    What would Dubya do? Keep reading "The Pet Goat" while his fellow citizens are falling from the sky ON HIS FUCKING WATCH.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Asked for clarification, Palin responded "Mmmfff gack blllkkk!"

  • telecustom1972

    If he'd grow one, she'd blow one.

  • jcinco

    she needs a big stick shoved up her ass or down her throat so we no longer have to listen to her incessant bleating.

    • Steverino247

      I have a Mr. Vlad Impaler on Line One for you…

  • Nostrildamus

    Amazing how as I start to read her quote I immediately hear that horrible voice.

    It's like a worm eating my brain.

    • MadBrahms

      If she doesn't quit talking soon, they're going to need to add trephination coverage to Obamacare.

      • James Michael Curley

        Do it Please! With a 7 inch Red Prada Platform Pump.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I b'leev those are what is commonly referred to in the trade as "Fuck-Me Pumps"?

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    "Pimp with a limp?" WTF does that even mean?

    • DCBloom
      • GunToting[Redacted]

        Wow, how did our lamestream media miss this? Thank Kobol I follow Lou Sarah's Twatter feed.

    • BoroPrimorac

      He's a local DJ down here in Miami.

    • DahBoner

      Pimps keep their money in a shoe.

      The bigger the limp, the richer the pimp.

      • emmelemm

        I have learned something today! This is why I come to Wonkette.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      It means Sarah follows Obama WAY more closely than you do. Hell, I had no idea what she was talking about till I googled it.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i guess getting bin laden doesn't count as 'standing up to islamic extremists'.

    • chicken_thief

      And how many #2's have been drone struck?

      • James Michael Curley

        Nuther one today in Yemen.

      • One_who_wanders

        (I can't believe I am doing this and that no one else has yet)

        Ahem, All of them, Katie!

        • chicken_thief

          I'd love to sit in on their "elections". Definitely a "good news, bad news" situation.

    • freakishlywrong

      IT WAS THE SEALS11!

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      FACT CHECK: Obama did not "get bin Laden." He was in fact boarded onto Air Force One, given the red carpet treatment, and now lives in the Lincoln Bedroom.

      Source: Glen Beck.

  • metamarcisf

    As Jesus said of the blind prostitute, "You really have to hand it to her"

  • Doktor Zoom

    Sarah, you're 40 years too late. "Grow a penis" must be anagrammed to "Spiro Agnew."

    Also, waiting on Ben Shapiro on Breitbart.com to condemn how she has outrageously politicized this tragedy.

  • Mahousu

    Palin doesn't exactly have a big dick. She just is one.

    • vodkamuppet

      I think of her more as a sore on the giant dick that is the GOP.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Shorter Sarah: anytime a mob in a middle east country hurts someone, send in the bombers first, then the ground troops.

  • T3rbo

    God damn it my mind really wanders when I try to read Palinese. What the fuck is this woman talking about? Let me see if I can find the coherent thought:

    Our nation’s security should be of utmost importance to our Commander-in-chief.

    That is really all that there is there: everything else is just her implying…something. What she is implying, I have NO FUCKING IDEA.

    Let me try to fix this.

    President Obama needs to kill Muslims harder. They don't seem to be getting the message. I propose that we put sparklers on the wings Predator drones, and they should tow banners that say, in Muslim, "THE UNITED STATES MILITARY JUST BLEW YOU UP WITH A MISSILE, FORMER MEMBERS OF AL QUEDA. " Also, President Obama needs to issue our troops megaphones, so that when Marines start blowing the holy hell out of Muslim extremists, Marines can yell loudly, over the din of battle "The people who are shooting/strafing/bombarding you are Americans. Our commander in chief, Barack HUSSEIN Obama, CONDEMNS YOU (to hell)." Also, there needs to be large projector screens in these battles, and during these drone strikes, videos of President Osama, whoops, Obama, condemning the extremists can be projected. Also, I am a ignorant attention whoring fucking snowbilly twunt.

    • James Michael Curley

      Too may commas and not enough run on sentences.

      • T3rbo

        Let me try again:

        "Oh gosh, you know, gee, obama's a N****R!"

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          That's all you had to say, man.

    • One_who_wanders

      Newsletter, subscribe!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sarah Palin Wishes Barack Obama Had A Bigger Penis

    Don't we all?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    And speaking of fetid windborne disasters, has Sarah been anywhere near the Salton Sea in the last day or so? Apparently a gigantic fish kill and a weather anomaly caused something so awful they could smell it in Los Angeles — I figure she was applying some sort of environmental fix to it. And no, I'm not making any c*** jokes — too damn obvious.

    • Boojum

      Bristol went swimming, why do you ask?

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    When you say "orate" in connection with Sarah Palin, I see a word there which is a combination of "oral" and "fellate."

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Remember when terrorists killed all those Marines in Lebanon and Reagan was like "heads are gonna roll" and he sent in even more troops, leveling Beirut and Tehran to the ground? I'm might just be remembering the plot of Delta Force, but I'm pretty sure Reagan would have done the same thing.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Well, the airport in Grenada is at least free.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Yeah, and we haven't had to deal with Islamic Extremist in the Caribbean since then, have we? USA! USA! USA!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Coincidentally, brave patriot (and surely ex-military himself, right?) Clint Eastwood immortalized Ronnie Reagan's bravery with the sterling war classic, "Heartbreak Ridge." However, when Ronnie spoke with a chair, the chair spoke back.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Yes. And friends of mine who were working to set up cooperative banks and regional self-help organizations are dead. The remarkably prescient American forces knew exactly who to shoot, and the mass graves around the island have yet to be explained to the rest of the world.

      • lulzmonger

        A close call indeed – just imagine the unspeakable horror that would've gripped the world if all that nutmeg had fallen into the hands of SOCIALISTS!

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Is it Fraudian slip or Freudian slip?

    I can never tell.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Sarah sez: Time to lay some pipe!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Cunt! (That's all I got).

    • Steverino247

      "That's okay. He's got 'cunt' and 'cunt' is enough."

      Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I thought you had a dick, myself, but hey, we don't discriminate on that basis.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    She just makes it TOO fucking easy, don't she?

    • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

      She truly is beyond snark at this point, isn't she?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I'm doing my best, Chill, and nothin's comin' out the tap. SarahLou or LouSarah has passed beyond us, I'm afraid. I just wish it were in *every* sense of the word.

        • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

          Same here. It's like beating a dead horse with a dead horse.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Apparently being a Palin women means making it too fucking easy.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Or easy fucking. As the case may be.

  • barto

    Unfortunately there's not enough booze on the planet to make me forget that people like Palin exist. <sigh>

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Keep drinking!

  • chicken_thief

    I call bullshit. Sarah didn't write that – the paragraph is broken up into sentences.

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    abysmal jobless numbers….

    Isn't it a good news if the number of those without jobs is abysmal?

    • Franknflower

      I was a bit confused by that part as well. Abysmal jobless numbers are good, right?

  • vulpes82

    And Michelle just gently smiles and walks away whistling.

    • Steverino247

      The fact that she can still walk shows how 'in shape" she really is.

  • delaney_blom

    Is this a mixed metaphor?

    Or have I been naively misinterpreting crazy old T.R. for all these years? Did he mean that the best foreign policy is to whisper sweet nothings into other countries' ears and then fuck them?

  • mustangsavvy

    She wants Bamz so hard it's impossible to ignore now. Poor Sarah, Obama is just not that into you. Despite your relentless pole dancing in pedal pushers and stripper sandals to get his attention.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I'm beginning to think that is the root of Sairy's problem. So to speak. It's writ pretty large, innit? She wants Barry, his attention, his time, his acknowledgement.

      And Barry's got Michelle. That must *really* burn Sairy's ass bad.

  • thefrontpage

    Let's be straightforward: Palin is psychotic, unstable, mentally unhinged, mentally deficient, a liar, unbelievable in the literal sense of the word, corrupt, cuckoo, a few sandwiches shy of a picnic, a few floors short of the elevator, a few cards short of a full deck, and just plain loco. In addition to that, she continually has zero idea what on earth she is talking about. Tuesday night and today, Wednesday, by the way, our Secretary of State and President Obama issued harsh statements condemning the attacks, blasting the attacks, vowing justice–"make no mistake," the President said–and ridiculing and insulting the attacks as the work of thugs, murderers and cowards, in so many words. The statements were strong, direct, and tough, as they should be. Anyone who says otherwise–including Romney, Ryan, Palin and others who operate outside of reality–does not know what on earth they are talking about. That is a fact.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      ^^What he/she said.^^

    • James Michael Curley

      Mitt Romney made his fourth statement trying to walk back the criticism that he politicized the event even before all the dead were identified by issuing another statement saying everything in Egypt and Libya was caused by Obama. Now Republicans are suggesting he maybe should have waited a day or two before issuing ANY statement.

      • HistoriCat

        How hard is it to condemn the killings, offer sympathy to the bereaved, and suggest that we wait for more information? Sure, you don't score major points against the president that way but you won't look like a rank amateur either.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          That's why he isn't ready for any kind of high office. You need someone who understands strategy. A short-term win isn't worth it unless the long-term gain is also there. Sometimes, you can lose a pawn, or even sacrifice a pawn, if it'll get you closer to a checkmate. No long-term end was served by his stupid, histrionic statements, and now he's tanking nationwide as people start to realize that if he were in charge right now, we'd be in a third, or even a fourth war for which we lack resources.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            It has a bit of the impression of the McCain campaign around the same time in 08, frankly, trying to score easy political points and "win the news cycle" while Unflappable Barry ignored the political scorekeeping and skated to victory.

            But yes, to extend your chess analogy a bit more, it's like when someone who knows the rules but is a novice starts really losing a game, and any pretense of a strategy gets dropped in exchange for just capturing what ever pieces you can. Mate typically follows shortly.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            OK, ARE you my older brother the chess-player, or are you his then-best friend Soma who used to sit in at our games and mock me?

          • viennawoods13

            Obama plays 3-D chess, and he plays Go Fish.

    • DahBoner

      Science!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Now THAT deserved some upfisty love.

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Even if I were willing to engage the Evil Lord Facebook I wouldn't go to this silly bunt's page.

  • ph7

    Todd is finding this difficult to masturbate to.

    • HistoriCat

      Today we are all Todd.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Ew, I hope not. (looks around) Nope, still in my little piece of Paradise. I won't have to look at that shitty face over the dinner table, yay me.

  • Guppy

    Mitt Romney’s statements on Libya

    Hey, anything to get the GOP to stop issuing statements on labia.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Growing things you may not have been born with is not easy, as Sarah's debate prep tutors discovered early on.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    She's a terrible Lady.

    • Steverino247

      That's no lady, that's Todd's wife!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Derrick, I realize you're just a Nice Young Fellow, and all that, and I hate to break it to you, son. That's no lady.

  • NellCote71

    Lou Sarah jabbers on about p-ness when ours is taken away in this new comment format. Do not like.

  • vodkamuppet

    Oh just go the fuck away, lady. GO THE FUCK AWAY. Go away go away go away.

    • James Michael Curley

      We are all just everyday people going to work to earn a living on the Subway Car that is the Republican party and the drunken, singing pan handler just entered the car.

  • Ruhe

    Setting the Freudian aspects of the "Big Stick" image aside, what is Sarah suggesting exactly? Should Obama condemn all of Islam generally? Should we be bombing Libya in order to avenge the ambassador's death?

    • Franknflower

      Almost sounds like a primitive revenge reaction based solely on religious dogma or something.

      • Ruhe

        Irony, unlike comedy, is apparently easy.

  • hagajim

    This bitch is just looking for a smooth Presidential mushroom stamp upside her head.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, what have we learned. The Half-Term Quitter Governor of Alaska has gone from not reading anything related to foreign policy to getting her foreign policy from Penthouse.

    • emmelemm

      She only reads it for the articles!

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        That is how I learned the real secrets about life in a Sorority or Women's Dorm.

        • emmelemm

          Contrary to popular belief, while there are a lot of lingerie pillow fights, they seldom degenerate into hot lesbian sex.

          I said SELDOM.

          • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

            So, most of the time it is just routine lesbian sex? Do tell more.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Republicans think our military is a hammer.
    Republicans think foreign policy is a nail.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Sarah is all over this like white on Rice.

    • DahBoner

      No one could have anticipated white on Rice!

      • Generation[redacted]

        (rolls eyes) I believe the title of that memo was "White determined to be on Rice."

  • mavenmaven

    That's how one starts to talk after spending too much "time on the internet", if you know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink…

  • http://italkyoubored.wordpress.com/ ffredpalakon

    Lisa Ann used to quote Sarah Palin's lines, now Sarah Palin quotes Lisa Ann's.

  • proudgrampa

    I am all for the Constitution, but isn't it time we go martial law on this bitch and send her to Gitmo?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Oh so now she's a size queen.

  • msobelgravitar

    The old TR philosophy, Walk sticky and carry a big soft.

  • Callyson

    "Pimp with a limp"? WTF?

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    Sarah longs for a president who wields a giant, throbbing sceptre of freedom.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Sarah who?

  • DahBoner

    //shakes fist at dirty hippies

    GROW SOME HAIR CUE BALLZ

  • YouBetcha

    How much money do they have to pay the poor dope who has to make her sentences less word salady, also too, such as? I betcha it's not enough. <wink>

  • ph7

    Sarah's still aching to be a "vice" president.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I notice you put the emphasis on "vice." Smart.

  • danny6114

    If he doesn’t have a “big stick” to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one. (aside) Just like I wish Todd would.

  • christianmuslin

    I think she has a typo in her Facebook post: she intended to say Gimp with a limp! I remain clueless, however, as to whom she refers.

  • TribecaMike

    Mmmm, frozen penis.

  • ttommyunger

    She just can't stop thinking about Barry's dick. Puts her in good company, but let's face it, she is instant soft-on.

  • docterry6973

    When you play them backwards every sentence Palin utters says the same thing: "I am an idiot."