FACT-CHECKERS GONE WILD  10:30 am September 12, 2012

Breitbart Takes ‘Fact-Check’ Craze To Logical Conclusion: Bin Laden Is Alive, GM Is Dead

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

WooooooooEverybody’s boo-hooing about the fact-check craze sweeping the nation, whether it’s sane, reasonable people laughing at AP’s ridiculose “fact check” that stated Bill Clinton was wrong to point out a Romney welfare ad lie, because Clinton once lied about all the intern snatch he was pulling, or the goons of Red State telling their minions that if they quote a fact checker, they will be banned. BANNED! And they don’t even have to threaten a skullfuck or call something tarded to earn that distinct honor! But someone has managed to scale the heights of fact-check crazy, and that person, obviously, is Ghost Andrew Breitbart, with his counterintuitive fact-check claiming that despite Joe Biden’s bumper sticker-ready slogan, and all evidence to the contrary, Osama Bin Laden is not in fact dead, and General Motors is not in fact alive! That, as someone recently lied because he got poontang once, takes some brass!

Vice President Joe Biden has a suggested slogan for the Obama/Biden 2012 campaign. He repeats it everywhere he goes. “Osama Bin Laden is dead,” he bellows, “and General Motors is alive!”

There’s only one problem. He’s wrong.

Yes, Bin Laden’s dead, thank God. And General Motors is still an operating concern. But in point of fact, the cause for which Osama Bin Laden stood is stronger than at any time in American history, thanks in large part to the Obama administration. And as for GM, it’s not so much alive as it is a member of the corporate living dead, feasting on taxpayer brains while slowly deteriorating, the first zombie company created by Obama’s cronyism.

“Ben Shapiro” then has some thoughts on why this is so, but we will not bore you with it, because C’MON. Ben Shapiro is mentally disabled. That is all.

[Breitbart]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 127 comments }

OurHoboSenator September 12, 2012 at 10:34 am

Ask Andrew Breitbart if he's better off now than four years ago.

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

Well, I would, but six feet of dirt makes awesome noise insulation

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Is that a fact?

Goonemeritus September 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

We are all better off today specifically because Andrew isn’t.

EdBradly7 September 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I would take a dump on the grave of this worthless POS if I knew where he was buried however I have an aversion to long lines.

Gleem McShineys September 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I remember seeing one of those anti-Eastwooding (?) Empty Chair Comedic Political Statement wingderp photos that had a BREITBART IS HERE sign next to it.

Didn't look very unique, so taking a dook next to every Breitbart sign stapled onto a stick would probably be a reasonable solution.

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 10:46 am

Breitbart's dead, so I'm better off.

Edith_Prickly September 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

The world is certainly better off without him….

BornInATrailer September 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

He has lost weight.

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 11:38 am

I know I sure am…cause he's daid.

TheMightyHaltor September 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Absolutely. He's been sober for 8 months now.

FlownOver September 12, 2012 at 10:35 am

In the name of conserving digital resources, I propose a new acronym:

OFFS (Oh, for fuck's sake).

We seem to need this more every day.

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 10:48 am

Saves a whole two characters over "Oh FFS"! As long as you have to explain it less than 0.1% of the time you use it, it's a clear win ;)

FlownOver September 12, 2012 at 10:58 am

We hadn't been using either one very much here in Wonketistan, but that may have been a conscious choice to display the elevated blood pressure represented by the full phrase. IYKWIM.

GuidanceRo_Man September 12, 2012 at 11:18 am

I command you to use this new acronym-meme, HU-MANS!

freakishlywrong September 12, 2012 at 10:35 am

feasting on taxpayer brains while slowly deteriorating
Wait a minute. That' s the fucking Republic party he's talking about!

Biff September 12, 2012 at 11:06 am

Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence! (Republics don't pay taxes, have no brains)

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 10:36 am

Trix, can I factcheck your fact that Breitbart bans fact checking?

eggsacklywright September 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

Thank you David Byrne:

Facts are simple and facts are straight
Facts are lazy and facts are late
Facts all come with points of view
Facts don't do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things

no_gravity September 12, 2012 at 10:36 am

Breitbarf and Osama are both still alive and living together in a cave in central Arizona while having hot, monkey sex day and night. That's what I heard.

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 10:38 am

Y'know, now that I've read it, I'm sure I read it some place else, which makes this a total fact.

UW8316154 September 12, 2012 at 10:51 am

Indeed, that is a checked fact.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 10:40 am

And no doubt being assisted in their hiding out by the sheriff of Maricopa County.

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 10:48 am

Also in their hot monkey sex.

elviouslyqueer September 12, 2012 at 10:55 am

If it's on the Internet, it must be true!

HempDogbane September 12, 2012 at 11:11 am

"Bin Laden’s … is still an operating concern." Fact: DeadB wrote these words in this order, and it's true. His work HAS improved !

SorosBot September 12, 2012 at 10:36 am

Really? I think the cause for which bin Laden stood was much stronger on September 12, 2001, and at its strongest on March 19, 2003, thanks not just in large part but almost entirely to the Bush administration.

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 10:39 am

You mean the drum beat for a holy war?

I'd say that's stronger than ever, but it's neither Bush nor Obama who's made it stronger *koffkoffREINCEkoffkoff*

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 11:39 am

Damn it! Why do you have to keep stating facts….

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Soros,

Reallity has nothing to do with anything written or said at Breitbart, Red State, NRO, FOX News, the WSJ Editorial Board, IBD, Town Hall, or News Max.

The only fact you may derive from any of those sites is that if they cite Dick Morris, the opposite is always true.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 12, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Oh you mean how Osama was always babbling about getting our idiot president to invade a Muslim land and get mired in a quagmire all the while preaching holy war slogans to convince Muslims that he was crusading? Nahh, never happened until Barry did it.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 12, 2012 at 10:37 am

Why would anyone quote a fact checker on a fiction only blog?
Oh, and skullf*ck them! (with votes)
.
.
.
NOT WITH VOTES!

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 10:37 am

the cause for which Osama Bin Laden stood is stronger than at any time in American history

Yes. It's strengthened from "wet noodle" to "gossamer cotton candy".

MistaEko September 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

Never mind that the Al Qaeda Network is effectively dismantled, did Breitbart trolls just give aid and comfort to the enemy?

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 10:53 am

Why do they hate Amercia so?

Serolf_Divad September 12, 2012 at 10:37 am

Osama Bin Ladin is dead… and so is Andrew Brietbart.

Suck it!

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 10:41 am

I'm just surprised it took 10 comments before someone brought this up.

freakishlywrong September 12, 2012 at 10:38 am

Jesus. The only fact in there is the handsome Joe quote. The rest is a fever swamp sinking in delusion wrapped in a conspiracy theory and topped with sweet, creamery bullshite.

DemmeFatale September 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

…the next few months are gonna have A LOT of sweet, creamy, bullshite.

(Rubs hands together with glee.)

Crank_Tango September 12, 2012 at 10:39 am

What kind of 9/12 spirit is this? I think we need to stop being angry libs and hahahahaha OK that was as far as I could get.

chicken_thief September 12, 2012 at 10:39 am

Self-righteous indignation over mythical happenings is a great way to start the day. Facts are just to inconvenient sometimes.

LibrarianX September 12, 2012 at 10:39 am

Stalin is alive and living in the basement of the White House. It's true. I said it, so it's true.

Fare la Volpe September 12, 2012 at 6:17 pm

I read that it's true, thereby fact-checking this statement!

Incitefully_Joe September 12, 2012 at 6:23 pm

It seems dubious that Stalin is still alive and living in the basement of the White House, but let's look at the facts: Iran Contra.

This has been your AP Fact Check of the day.

LibrarianX September 12, 2012 at 8:02 pm

You, sir, are no Republican! (said to Fare la Volpe)

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 10:41 am

YES! SHUT GM DOWN! IT MADE SLIGHTLY LESS MORE MONEY THAN EXPECTED!

Chet Kincaid_ September 12, 2012 at 10:53 am

Only the Kenyan's Voodoo Necromancy keeps the rotting bones of this behemoth shambling from quarter to quarter!! Kill it before it employs again!!11!

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 10:41 am

"But in point of fact,"

What do these guys know about facts?

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 10:50 am

They know it suits them to claim they're using them, while they are knowingly shunning them.

I tell you, words have no meaning to Republicans, they see them purely as tools for winning elections.

PsycWench September 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

Cases in point:
Bridge to Nowhere
Death Panels
Global Warming Denial

and many more I've missed.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 12, 2012 at 8:13 pm

I've got you covered:
government takeover of healthcare
obama is a secret muslin
george dubya kept us safe for 8 years
bill clinton is at fault for 9/11
waterboarding is no worse than frat hijinks
the insurgency is it it's last throes (if you will)
tax cuts boost revenues
tax cuts on the rich trickle down to everyone else
government programs are slavery
corporations are people, my friend!
citizens united made our elections freer and less corrupt
dodd-frank would lead to permanent bailouts
the stimulus failed because it wasn't all tax cuts for the rich
gm really followed Romney's advice
Obamacare is murder and slavery
there's many, many more…

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 12, 2012 at 8:17 pm

oh, more came to me:
the US was established as a Christian nation (a personal pet peeve),
evolution is a communist plot
global warming is a communist plot
reading and writing are communist plots
facts are communist plots (and terrorists, too…)
Hitler was a leftist (so is fascism in general)
obama gutted the work requirement for welfare
obama is responsible for the Janesville plant closure
there's many more than those…but I won't list all of the main right wing lies…

Incitefully_Joe September 12, 2012 at 11:10 am

They know that they are stupid things, because Ronald Reagan once said so.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 12, 2012 at 10:41 am

I'd love to see a video game or movie pitting Ghost Andrew Breitbart against Zombie General Motors. Although I have a hard time envisioning the Detroit Renaissance Centre staggering around with bloody, hollow eyes and brains hanging out of its mouth.

ManchuCandidate September 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

It's called Saturday Night in Detroit…

mrpuma2u September 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

From what little exposure I have had to Redstate (one has to limit it to prevent brain damage/radiation sickness) fact checker quoting did not seem to go on a whole lot before the threat of banning. If I make a cartoon of the Prophet Breitbart will they all riot in the street?

elviouslyqueer September 12, 2012 at 10:53 am

Riot in the street? Please. That implies making an effort, like prying their fingers away from moldy Cheetos bags and jettisoning their fat asses off the couches in their mom's basement.

Beowoof September 12, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Facts is like kryptonite to baggers.

PuckStopsHere September 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

15 percent of Ohio GOP voters think Mitt Romney is responsible for OBL still being alive, so there is that.

SoBeach September 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

But Romney would have killed Osama deader, and made GM aliver. So there.

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 10:53 am

Yes, he'd have totally killed Osama by refusing to send special ops forces into Pakistan, because that's totally not where Osama was hiding.

PubOption September 12, 2012 at 11:09 am

Romney would have sold off GM piece by piece, so it would be alive several times over, but in India and China.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 11:13 am

Well, that kinda fits in with the whole reincarnation theme of them Eastern religions, right?

MistaEko September 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

Oh. Well if we're speaking in the broadest of metaphors, Breitbart has always been dead.

el_donaldo September 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

Deep in the heart of night, when the tree limbs knock against the windowpane, and the shadows fall long and weird in the hall, ask yourself, do the dead lie still?

If it's Breitbart, then yes, still dead, still lying.

SayItWithWookies September 12, 2012 at 11:03 am

I wonder if his tombstone says "Here lies Andrew Breitbart — as usual."

sbj1964 September 12, 2012 at 10:44 am

What Quantum reality are Republicans from when their dimensional existence is so different from what other people experience?Will Wheaton must Die.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

Good thing for you Ken Layne isn't around; defamation of Wesley Crusher used to be a banhammer-worthy offense hereabouts.

Schmannnity September 12, 2012 at 10:46 am

Worst horror picture ever:

THEY SAVED BREITBART'S BRAIN!!!!!!

Nothingisamiss September 12, 2012 at 12:32 pm

"It said Abby Normal."

ManchuCandidate September 12, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I don't know what's so scary about a lump of shit in a pudding cup.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 10:46 am

"feasting on taxpayer brains"

Well, if GM is feasting on the brains of those taxpayers that read Breitbart, it's going to be some real slim pickings; like one of them nouveau cuisine meals with an ounce or two of food artfully displayed on the center of a 12" dinner plate.

PsycWench September 12, 2012 at 10:58 am

I was thinking it would be like cheap fish sticks: a lot of breading and filler, a lot of grease, not a lot of substance and smelling pretty weird.

ManchuCandidate September 12, 2012 at 10:47 am

I bought "Use Yer Delusion 1 & 2" back in 1991. Brings back memories…

PsycWench September 12, 2012 at 10:48 am

So says the authors of "Wishful Thinking Makes It So."

Chet Kincaid_ September 12, 2012 at 10:49 am

Hitler is dead but Volkswagen is alive. Fuck you, Roosevelt!!1!1

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2012 at 11:34 am

And we're all driving around on Hitler Highways, thanks to that fascist commie Eisenhower.

EatsBabyDingos September 12, 2012 at 10:49 am

I wish Brietbarf were alive today. He'd be clawing like hell at the casket.

MosesInvests September 12, 2012 at 11:10 am

Am I a bad person because I LOLed at that?

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 11:46 am

If you are, I am too.

FlownOver September 12, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Today we are all bad persons.

Maman September 12, 2012 at 10:50 am

Can you bitch slap the dead?

Chet Kincaid_ September 12, 2012 at 11:05 am

No, but "Bitch Slap The Dead" would make a fine debut album title for you!

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2012 at 11:36 am

Or Robert Rodriguez's next movie

EatsBabyDingos September 12, 2012 at 10:52 am

I hear Breitfart is going to be on the next Dr. Who as the dalek most hated by daleks. He wears a gingham dress.

KeepFnThatChicken September 12, 2012 at 10:52 am

GM is dead to me. Fuck them and their cars. Pieces of shit.

weejee September 12, 2012 at 10:54 am

♪♫ Brietbart's body lies a-moulderin' in the grave
Lyin' Andy Breitbart lies a-moulderin' in his grave
And his lies keep marchin' on

Hoary, snorey, Mitt'll fool ya
The gobsmacked liar just a tool, yeah
The borey, Tory Mitt wants to rule ya
And the lies keep marchin' on ♫♪

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 11:06 am

I wrote this little ditty for Virgin Ben…

o/~ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the wheels on the bus go crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush,
Crush, crush, crush.
The wheels on the bus go crush, crush, crush,
All over Bennnnnnnnnnnnn o/~

Lucidamente1 September 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

Yes, but Ben Shapiro would lie if asked about Breitbart and Riley.

Chow Yun Flat September 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

Osama bin Laden and Andrew Brietbart: both dead. A coincidence? I think not.

BornInATrailer September 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

Skullfacting?

UnholyMoses September 12, 2012 at 11:10 am

That won't get you banned.

Only reality will.

proudgrampa September 12, 2012 at 11:02 am

♪♫
Anthony Breitbart's dead.
No, no, no,no. He's outside looking in.
♪♫

Apparently.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 11:10 am

But Ray Thomas lives!

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 11:02 am

If Ben Shapiro is, in fact, mentally disabled, can we call him a retard?

Nothingisamiss September 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Has his skull already been fucked?

lobsterboy22 September 12, 2012 at 11:04 am

But look. Ben observes that old ladies are "…to be genitally examined…" so Osama and Andrew are both right.

DocChaos September 12, 2012 at 11:07 am

Breitbart.com reminds me of those half-forgotten 60s bands that keep touring the state fair circuit long after the founding members died.

Say what you will about A.B., he was at least a "rock star" of the wingnutosphere, the rest of his band couldn't even get session work if they left.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 11:08 am

Yeah, you sure don't see many Osamamobile dealerships on the highways and byways of America these days.

UnholyMoses September 12, 2012 at 11:08 am

They ban people are Red State for quoting fact checkers?

That's … just … holy fucking shit those people is weird.

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 11:43 am

Because the fact checkers had the gall to point out that when the Romney campaign cherry-picked statistical anomalies like women's job losses or gas prices on inauguration day, and span them into deliberately deceitful attack ads against Obama, this was misleading to the point of lying, even though the lies were built around a kernel of truth.

SayItWithWookies September 12, 2012 at 11:09 am

The solipsistic wing of the Republican Party has now gone completely round the bend into some sort of Magritte-esque surrealist universe visible only to themselves. And it's embodied by Mitt and Paul, who are but bowler hats and capes on top of birdcages full of chickenshit — and they're the serious ones.

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 11:44 am

Well, you just made their heads explode by using solipsistic.

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 11:45 am

Round the bend and visible only to some… it's like Magritte and Escher had a migraine-inducing lovechild.

FlownOver September 12, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Ceci n'est pas un fait.

PubOption September 12, 2012 at 11:09 am

What was it that Goebbels said about the big lie?

T3rbo September 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm

don't you dare look up anything or use some kind of quote, librul

sullivanst September 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I bet that quote is a fact that's been checked, so banhammer-worthy if produced, of course.

T3rbo September 12, 2012 at 12:28 pm

it's a trap! proving that there is a quote would violate the ban on proof! Instead, I feel that the quote is some sort of fact, so ban.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"Karl Rove taught me everything I know"?

Chet Kincaid_ September 12, 2012 at 11:10 am

And as for Big Government, Big Hollywood and all the other Breitbart sites, they are not so much "alive" as they are the reactionary living dead, feasting on the fevered white male brains of their demographically shrinking audience while slowly deteriorating, the first zombie blogging network created by the utter collapse of this fetid branch of perfidious conservative ideology.

sbj1964 September 12, 2012 at 11:11 am

Andrew is still alive hangin'it with Elvis on the GOP Mothership.

skmind September 12, 2012 at 11:14 am

All I want to know is whether Ann Coulter she-faps to that photo of his.

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 11:44 am

Ewwww.

finette_ September 12, 2012 at 11:17 am

Sheesh. Since my local newspaper now requires one to use one's Facebook account in order to comment, and since I work with the public in a very conservative area and am easily found, I figured I would play it safe by only posting facts with no opinion attached. Most recently, for instance, I clarified what a scientific theory is for one of those "evolution is just a theory" people. Little did I know that reliance on facts makes me automatically suspect.

Steverino247 September 12, 2012 at 11:21 am

Make a bogus Facebook account using a throw-away Yahoo! e-mail account. Grab a photo of almost anything to use as your Facebook avatar and go to town, dude.

finette_ September 12, 2012 at 11:31 am

Eh, too much work. Usually I just don't comment. (Happily, neither do the worst of the racists who used to infest the anonymous comments.) And inevitably at some point I would forget and use my real account.

Thanks, though. :)

Steverino247 September 12, 2012 at 11:20 am

Well, now we know a second reason why they drilled holes in this asshole's coffin. The first, of course, was so the worms could crawl out to puke.

gullywompr September 12, 2012 at 11:21 am

Suck it, truth!

bauserdotcom September 12, 2012 at 11:27 am

Ghost Breitbart is an amateur. Eric Bolling proved Biden wrong BEFORE BIDEN EVEN SAID IT: https://twitter.com/ericbolling/status/2438861254

'Taking bets… how long before Biden delivers this falsehood: "Bin Laden is dead, Gm is alive".. 12 minutes over/under '

There's more time paradoxes in this election than a bad episode of Doctor Who!

HistoriCat September 12, 2012 at 11:29 am

This just proves, once again, that Breitbart really was the smart one there.

LesBontemps September 12, 2012 at 11:36 am

I just want to thank teh Wonketts for brightening my day by reminiding me that Andrew Breitbart is still dead.

T3rbo September 12, 2012 at 12:11 pm

You can only say "I like this comment/story" or "I do not like this comment/story" or GTFO. No LIBRUL FACTS, Because constitution!!!1!!!1111

I like GM is dead, Bin Ladin is Alive idea because it makes me smile. Therefore, true. Also, nobama feels like a muslim, so true. Also.

Feelings > librul media ideas

DahBoner September 12, 2012 at 12:30 pm

For a 43 year old, he sure doesn't look a day over 60…

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Occasionally I find myself thinking like Ben Shapiro. Then I wake up, have a cup of strong coffee, get off the Washington Square Park bench and solemnly vow never to take pills handed to me by strangers in East Village bars.

CommieLibunatic September 12, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Fuck these guys… with tenderness and compassion and votes that will hopefully calm them down a bit? Yeah, let's go with that.

ttommyunger September 12, 2012 at 7:16 pm

"Some say" Gretchen sucks Elephant dicks for a dime a herd…

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