CHASE THAT SHINY OBJECT WHITE BOY  1:19 pm September 12, 2012

Five U.S. Diplomats Dead In Egypt, Libya; Mitt Romney Was FRIST On The Internet!!!

by Jesse Taylor

romney's first comment

Yesterday, violence in Egypt and Libya claimed the lives of five American diplomatic workers, including U.S. Ambassador to Libya J. Christopher Stevens.

The important thing to remember in this time of crisis is that there’s still a Presidential election going on, and the campaigns MUST RESPOND. More importantly, they must do so FIRST.

By way of background: protests began at the Egyptian and Libyan U.S. embassies yesterday, purportedly in response to a terrible anti-Islam movie by Terry Jones. To stave off further escalation, the Egyptian U.S. embassy put out the following statement:

“The Embassy of the United States in Cairo condemns the continuing efforts by misguided individuals to hurt the religious feelings of Muslims – as we condemn efforts to offend believers of all religions,” the embassy said in a statement published online.

Violence escalated after the statement’s issuance, one person died in Egypt, another four in Libya.

Okay, sad part behind us, because Mitt Romney done stepped in it.

First, he called Obama’s handling of the statement “disgraceful”, because Obama did not immediately hop on the Twitter machine and tell the embassy that it was doing a dumb thing by trying to calm the angry mob.

“I’m outraged by the attacks on American diplomatic missions in Libya and Egypt and by the death of an American consulate worker in Benghazi,” Romney said in the statement. “It’s disgraceful that the Obama Administration’s first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.”

But Mitt Romney was first, so that is what’s really important. And he got to accuse the Obama administration (read: a diplomatic staffer sending an unauthorized message in the hopes of people not dying) of sympathizing with angry Muslims, so Dinesh D’Souza needs to change his pants now.

Fast forward to this morning, when President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton were to give poignant, responsible statements on the tragic events at 9:40 AM and 10:35 AM, respectively. Well, fuck them, because Mitt’s on fire, and he does not need any water, because he will let his motherfucking campaign burn.

How did pretty much everyone who has ever known anything about foreign policy respond to Mitt’s weirdly incoherent attack on the President not immediately setting up an LOL Egypt Tumblr? Like libtards, that’s how.

“They were just trying to score a cheap news cycle hit based on the embassy statement and now it’s just completely blown up,” said a very senior Republican foreign policy hand, who called the statement an “utter disaster” and a “Lehman moment” — a parallel to the moment when John McCain, amid the 2008 financial crisis, failed to come across as a steady leader.

[...]

“I guess we see now that it is because they’re incompetent at talking effectively about foreign policy,” said the Republican. “This is just unbelievable — when they decide to play on it they completely bungle it.”

This is all understandable, though: given that foreign policy is a shiny object for Mitt Romney, are we surprised that he batted feebly at it for a bit then walked away, confused and mildly indignant? This is what happens when a half-cat, half-man runs for president.

 
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{ 358 comments }

MadBrahms September 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Frist? Bill?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Oy. You should know better than to bring up that moron, especially in conjunction with cats! Fucking murderous bile-hearted psychopathic swine deserves a Death of A Thousand Paper Cuts.

MadBrahms September 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Right after I posted, I thought a) "Am I going to be Bained for bringing up the typo, and doing so with a weak joke?" and b) "God, I think we would all have been happier if I had forgotten Bill Frist had ever existed." Mea maxima culpa.

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 1:37 pm

The typo is deliberate, for irony's sake. The intent was to reference those "first posters" on the internet that, in their rush to get the first comment on anything (much as yours was), get sloppy with their spelling.

And now that that joke is thoroughly dead…

HempDogbane September 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

But Real Wonketeers do remember Bill Frist. And in honor of the Romney Campaign, may it RIP, Never Admit !!!!1!!!!!

qthaler September 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I thought it was going to be some overt comparison to Frist's incorrect remote diagnosis of Terry S. *couch*nerd*cough*

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Nah, we're all good here. I just couldn't resist a snarky poke, is all.

Starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Hi Z. Has the whole world gone mad?

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Or the Death Of A Thousand Paper Cats, which (as any Origami Sensei would tell you) is much worse.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Gads, Boo, you're *always* in good form! HTF do you do it? Some days it's all I can do to drag my tired ass in here and post unfunny "Yeah" and "Me too" type comments.

I'll have whatever he's having.

Lascauxcaveman September 12, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Yeah. Me too.

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 3:43 pm

You notice these are replies? I've always been better at counter-punching or Kaeshi-waza than throwing the first blow.

You set 'em up, I'll knock 'em down.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Bill Frist and his wife of 37 years have filed for divorce. From some new gator on which I don't really read the link articles.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I can't believe it took her THIS long.

MadBrahms September 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Christ, what is WRONG with these people? "In his 2009 memoir, Frist recounted meeting his future wife in 1979 when he attended to her at a clinic in Boston. He was engaged to another woman in Tennessee and broke it off a week before the wedding.", sayeth the AP.

Probably the only time a Republican left a healthy person for a sick person rather than the opposite, though.

Geminisunmars September 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

So who was frist? Her or him?

FlownOver September 12, 2012 at 1:21 pm

OFFS.

Second!

eggsacklywright September 12, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Frickin' Mittz doesn't know the difference between an embassy and a consulate. Not qualified, at all. Christ.

MadBrahms September 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

To Mitt, a consulate is just a shinier embassy.

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I figured Mitt thought a consulate was something people from Accenture were.

MoeDeLawn September 12, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I'm just hoping that on November 7, Mittens will be dis-consulate.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Jesse, you're in trouble with BeccaLou, you know that, right?

Better lay low (or is that "lie low"?) for the nonce, dood.

GemlikeFlame September 13, 2012 at 12:54 am

Lay low has no place in a sentence with nonce. However even the threatened neologism doesn't begin to explain why the State Department continues to allow one of our citizens to cynically manipulate extra-national political and religious tensions to the point of putting US lives at risk. Had this been done within US borders, it'd be a clear case of treason and is the direct equivalent of shouting fire in a crowded theater.

I understand the free speach (sic) doctrines and agree with them. I also understand the mechanics and nuances of idiot incitement. I further wonder if anyone would feel that my right to practice religion as I choose would be abridged if the FSM demanded that I nail Terry Jones to a tree with a silver stake through the heart was somehow hindered.

Lord, how many of your followers do I suffer before I start handing out what they've been doing to us for these many years?

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

In my defense, I learned my English from books. I do see the oddities in my sentences, but I think of them as revelations of my fractured East-West brain with its mishmash of cultures and languages, my mugwumpish self astride the fences between our civilizations.

It would seem that the guilty party is not "one of our citizens," as such, but a recent emigre with a decided bent for the criminal. Nakoula Basseley Nakoula intended his "flim" to incite hatred against Americans and Israelis/Jews. It has backfired on him, and he has been identified as the supposed Sam Bacile, flim (flam) director extraordinaire. And, as anyone sane will tell you, your freedom to put stakes through others is limited by their integuments. Don't do it, dear friend. I'm a gimp and won't be able to visit you in your comfortable cell. And the food is awful.

GemlikeFlame September 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Your english is perfectly good, I was just having trouble reconciling a modern Southernism with a Middle English word. Kind of like washing down a plate of chitlins with a glass of Dom Perignon 1928.

I'm pretty harmless, but Terry Jones has gone out of his considerable way to inflame the less intellectually and emotionally competent, which is why he is asking for a stake through the heart. Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live, or a blood-thirsty moron, by extension.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I couldn't agree more on the issue of Terry Jones (I'll leave the culinary issues for a later time). Those who are yowling about freedom of speech fail to take into account that incitement to violence has repeatedly been specifically excluded from the broad protectionsof the First Amendment. However, you must stop blackening the considerably sooty name of Terry Jones: Mr. Jones was but an innocent fly in a bigger spiderweb. An Egyptian Copt in exile, Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, was responsible for the making and distribution of the "flim." It would appear that the authorities are currently conducting a little tete-a-tete with Mr. Nakoula, the results of which should be made available to us shortly. Max Blumenthal has a nice piece in the Guardian about it today, which I highly recommend reading.

Thank you, dear friend, for not putting my gimpiness to the test and forcing me to visit you in that quiet room otherwise known as a cell. (Now *that's* a quiet room I'd love to see Mitt in!)

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 1:23 pm

This man has gravitas

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 1:31 pm

A gravel ass? What?

weejee September 12, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Yeah, it is smeared all over his Depends™.

Ducksworthy September 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I think you meant gravy-toss, greasy.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm

The Urban Dictionary defines that stuff as "fromunda."

Texan_Bulldog September 12, 2012 at 1:24 pm

When Halperin, Pegginton Noonan, Politico etc. say you've screwed the pooch, you are in deep doo doo.

I am now waiting for Dick Morris to call this Mitten's shrewdest move ever.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Mark Halperin has to be the biggest, most enthusiastic licker of Republican scrotum ever born. If HE's sworn off Mitt, you can pretty much bet the house that Mitt's gonna lose this and bad.

zumpie September 12, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Don't forget, Jerk Scarborough is also just all, "ewwww, Mittens". We really know he's a dead duck if Starbursts/"Thurston won every election he ever ran for except for those two of the three total he lost" Lowry says something mean (or even mean-ish) about this.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I'll go look.

HistoriCat September 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Time to start laying the "no true Republican" groundwork. Obviously Mitt Romney couldn't win – he's not a true Republican.

Schmannnity September 12, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Ingraham and Limbaugh started that drumbeat yesterday.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

That's the reason he picked Paul Ryan for his teammate — to deflect those exact complaints, and also to have someone to blame when the whole thing went south, as he knew it would.

anniegetyerfun September 12, 2012 at 2:36 pm

"He's too liberal! That's the problem! He's just like Obama in that he criticizes everything that Obama does!"

Goonemeritus September 12, 2012 at 2:10 pm

The best course of action for the Romney campaign is to suspend all further communications until November 7th.

Geminisunmars September 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

November 7, 2025.

starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Even better.

Gleem McShineys September 12, 2012 at 5:16 pm

The most amazing and unbelievably newsworthy part of this whole thing is this:

"Mitt Romney is standing by his original statement regarding the events in Libya and Egypt"

He is actually HOLDING THE SAME POSITION, for once!

This is fucking huge!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Also too, Jesse, now you've pissed my cats off as well. I suggest an immediate trip to Alaska. And STAY there!

fartknocker September 12, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Mitt should pull a John McCain, stop the campaign, and arrive in Libya on a private jet and show us his skills in foreign affairs.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Hopefully, he'll land in Benghazi. I understand the locals are not overly fond of foreigners and inclined to be a bit, shall we say, demonstrative of this like, or lack thereof.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Didn't that approach work for Jesse Jackson during some middle east crisis in the past?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Far as I know, the dood's still alive, Baldar. Mustn't have worked TOO well.

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm

He 'll just tell them they don't really know how to run a protest and that he'll step in and fix things with a few zillion from the gubmint.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Libyans appear to be a little less likely than Americans to fall for that shit. And right now, it looks like even the Americans aren't buying.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 7:41 pm

All, I need to walk back this comment. It was snarky but irresponsible. The fact is the people of Benghazi are very upset about the whole incident, and are demonstrating against it, and have taken up a collection to rebuild the US consulate in their city. Photos from the demonstration: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/12-photos-of-benghaz

HistoriCat September 12, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Great – he can take Terry Jones with him.

starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Seriously. Fuck that guy. There's a difference between free speech and responsible speech.

Gleem McShineys September 12, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Speech is something completely different. (Money)

This guy is just a fucking massive troll.

WhatTheHeck September 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Mitt’s foreign diplomacy would benefit from some mormom missionary work in a buncha foreign places. His missionary work in France didn’t prepare him for crap.

PinkoPopulist September 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I don't think there enough private banks in Libya for Mitt's liking.

Stevola September 12, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Terry Jones movies aren't as good without the rest of the Pythons

FraAnima September 12, 2012 at 1:39 pm

And if anyone has looked at clips from this "movie", it comes off exactly as a Monty Python skit, but without the funny. REALLY bad, but obvsly trying to be a muslin version of Life of Brian.

So, how many embassies were burned after Life of Brian came out, hengh!?

mrpuma2u September 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Always look on the bright side of life!

Pat_Pending September 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm

But "Personal Services" is one of my favorite movies of all time!

Schmannnity September 12, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Those who live in Mormon Temples should not cast the first stone criticizing calls for religious tolerance.

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Especially the day after the anniversary of the Mountain Meadows massacre.

OzoneTom September 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Yep, our first 9-11 where a group of religious zealots murdered a bunch of men, women and children.

no_gravity September 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

That was the Injuns, dammit!

Steverino247 September 12, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Dots or feathers?

no_gravity September 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Feathers.

Also, I just finished reading Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer and it gives some good insight to the Lying for Lord LDS.

bobbert September 12, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Underwear.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Here weirdly is the 2007 LDS commemoration of the event 150 later. Notice how the perpetrators, their families and the Church quickly become the victims in the second graph because they are wracked by guilt and doubt. Mountain Meadows massacre

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I note the bastards refer to themselves as "Saints." Pretty fucking nervy considering all the oaths and vows they take. Saints of blood, death, and destruction. We used to call them something entirely different in my day.

glamourdammerung September 12, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Of course the LDS commemorates the event. That way they can control the messaging at the monument, which is why they have not vandalized and destroyed this one (yet).

Self-Uploader September 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

You know who else likes to pretend to be president by standing in front of a flag making stupid videos full of indignation and butt-hurt?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0nnOtLYm_4

Maybe he should have chosen her as a running mate. They have so much in common.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:32 pm

It's < strike > you want, dear.

Self-Uploader September 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Thanks.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:22 pm

You're welcome. Always glad to oblige.

Isyaignert September 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Oh crap, I clicked on the link and as soon as I saw $arah Palin's name, I scrambled like hell to turn it off before I had to listen to that screechy harpy whore. Thank gawd, I made it!

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:30 pm

I liked it best when she stood in front of turkeys being slaughtered. That was the best.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Dear god I will NEVER be able to erase that from the memory banks, NEVER.

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Why would you want to? It is meta-Sarah.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 11:16 pm

It would be nice not to have to witness the turkeys being slaughtered as she speaks. How on earth did that stupid, stupid woman ever convince the press that a turkey processing plant would be a GOOD photo-op?

SmutBoffin September 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Will Mitt posthumously baptize our courageous diplomats? 'Cause that's about the only way Mr. "No Apology" could make this worse.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Please ask him, please, please, please. I'll be nice to you for a whole week. PLEASE?

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 1:39 pm

He will probably get someone from his flock to do so.

freakishlywrong September 12, 2012 at 1:27 pm

When Willard opens his mouth hole all I hear is this:
Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory". Today I'm here to tell you about "Spiffy.", the 21st century stain remover.

AbandonHope_ September 12, 2012 at 1:43 pm

That's funny, because whenever he opens his mouth all I hear is him thirty years down the road, scamming the elderly out of their life savings by getting them to purchase reverse mortgages.

MadBrahms September 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Oddly, that's what I hear coming out of Paul Ryan's mouth now.

DaSandman September 12, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Goddam can he get any stupider?

Monsieur_Grumpe September 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Yes. He. Can.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:30 pm

And you win the internets. I'm going back to bed now.

HogeyeGrex September 12, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Peak Dumbfuck isn't even on the horizon yet. There's nearly two months of spastic flailing yet to watch. Wheeee!

Isyaignert September 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Also, too, the debates are gonna be sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

miss_grundy September 12, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I think the debates will be the second wave to bring people over to the President's side. Once people realize that Mittens is just a dumb, empty suit they won't have any choice unless they are just bigoted, cranky old people.

Gleem McShineys September 12, 2012 at 5:05 pm

That's cute… "unless"

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Oh dear deity. I love the snark with the best of them, and Mitt is not my favourite person, but it's terrible to watch a cat toy with a mouse, and POTUS' statement today pretty much guarantees that he will KILL that motherfucker. With snark.

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 12:48 am

MittBorg, are you Canadian?

PuckStopsHere September 12, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Outrage and disgraceful are just two of words that comes to mind as Mr. R-Money attempts to make political capitol off the deaths of innocent Americans. Perhaps he should have consulted Mrs. Palin before releasing his statement. Not even she could have made things worse for him in this case. What an uninformed idiot. And before you ask, by that I mean both of them and, for that matter, all of them, Katie.

no_gravity September 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

How long before the MittBot2012 takes a core dump and starts singing, Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer, do.

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Open the pod bay doors, says I!

no_gravity September 12, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm afraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a MittBot2012 computer.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 1:46 pm

We need to take him to that weird, wacky circus that was depicted in the movie AI, then drop him off in the woods.

Steverino247 September 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

HAL LIBEL!!!

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Did anyone ever notice that H+1 = I, A+1-B and L+1= M?

Oh, you did?

Never mind.

bobbert September 12, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Greisen-Zatsupin-Kuzmin LIBEL!!!

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I had to google that and I still don’t understand it. What is scarier is that when I googled it, your comment was first on a very short list.

kingofmeh September 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

keep him away from magnets.

chicken_thief September 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Mitt may have bungled this with the moozlins but they're moozlins. So who cares? Where he really shines is with our allies like the UK and Po…. wait. Never. mind.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Scheduling a fundraising dinner on Tisha B'av with our other allies wasn't so great for him either. Something tells me Shelly Adelson has a nasty, cruel sense of humour.

MinAgain September 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Is political tone-deafness a disability recognized under the American with Disabilities Act? Because Mitt desperately needs a reasonable accommodation.

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Derpa Derpa.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I got his reasonable accommodation RIGHT HEAH.

starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Oh, I love it when you talk dirty!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 7:24 pm

(Hugs the LittleStar) Have I ever told you that I really miss you when a few days go by without checking in? No?

Consider it said.

starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Awww, that's the nicest thing I've hear in a long time. I miss you too when we don't speak. ( hugs teh Z with great tenderness)

PubOption September 12, 2012 at 1:58 pm

His current houses certainly do not count as reasonable accommodation.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Yeah, nothing *reasonable* about all those tiny little multimillion-dollar cottages. I hear his La Jolla house has its own lobbyist!

Swampgas_Man September 12, 2012 at 11:15 pm

OK, Obama has to do the debates nekkid. And he'll STILL win.

SayItWithWookies September 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Mitt can't be half-cat — I've got cats, and they're mortified when they fuck up.

whiskeybaby September 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

The face of an embarrassed cat is a wondrous/hilarious thing to behold.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Good point. Most of the frantic licking and cleaning happens when they do something stupid and pathetic and desperately try to deflect attention by *grooming.*

HistoriCat September 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

What? I didn't do anything! I just want to stay clean and tidy – stop looking at me!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm

(stares)

HistoriCat September 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Forget the 3 am phone call, buster – you're getting the 3 am hairball!

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm

For about twelve and a half seconds. Then its time to take a nap.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm

That's the *good* part. They're only embarrassed for as long as it takes the thought to pass through their little brains. Then it's "Oh, shiny new toy!" or "Meh, sleepytime."

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Let’s stay on topic. I was talking about cats and you’re talking about rich, white privileged republicans.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Busted. (hangs head, creeps away)

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Shiny distraction? You mean foreign policy?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 8:03 pm

That's what the Romney campaign called it, sistah! I just calls it like I hears it.

starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Perhaps not. But he is half pussy.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I just hope it's the lower half.

WUT? Everybody ELSE thought the exact same thing!

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

It's pretty nutz that a bunch of foreigners can get so riled up over a movie that few Americans knew existed and even fewer would dream of watching, just because the imam preached that it insulted Islam. You would never see Real "mericans do that sort of thing. Unless it was bombing abortion clinics or killing the doctors. For Jebus.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Ignorant and superstitious people set great store by their superstitions. I remember when I was a little kid, a Jewish girl and a Muslim boy eloped, and the community was scandalized. BOTH sides wanted to kill the young couple. It didn't help that she was a cigarette-smoking, drinking, swearing kinda gal, either.

emmelemm September 12, 2012 at 2:26 pm

There's a reason that Romeo and Juliet, which drew on many, much older stories, continues to resonate hundreds of years later.

"Eet ees a story as old as time…"

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:35 pm

(settles in with blankie for story-time)

emmelemm September 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Ah, mon cher, it is you who have a story! The Jewish girl, the Muslim boy…

DemmeFatale September 12, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Check out the wonderful, Oscar winning "West Bank Story." http://www.veoh.com/watch/v868434dFDZBn6K?h1=west

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm

OMG, Demme, that is WONDERFUL! Thank you SO MUCH! I'm in bed thanks to an excruciating day on the hill wherein I passed out due to heat stroke and landed with a THUMP on the hill (and nearly slid onto the ground 15 feet below, thank you dear partner for putting up a fence of sorts on which my feet got caught) and looking for entertainment, being bored and in pain. Now I have your Vimeo link, and CRE's links to look forward to.

jqheywood September 12, 2012 at 5:07 pm

<hugs MittBorg> Hope you feel better….

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I've always loved this one

DemmeFatale September 12, 2012 at 7:29 pm

So sweet!!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Never seen it before either. Of course, I only saw West Side Story last year, for the first time, so. I'll see if it's available on DVD. I should really like to watch the whole thing.

Nostrildamus September 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Mitt, this isn't sex. There's more to it than just being first.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:14 pm

But, we agree, in sex, being first is what counts?

HogeyeGrex September 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Nice guys finish last.

smokingood September 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I'm beginning to suspect that Willard Romney might be a bit of a buffoon.

rickmaci September 12, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Geez. Ya think?

fishwharf September 12, 2012 at 11:26 pm

I suspect you are right.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 12, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Hey girl, I wanted you to be impressed with my foreign policy chops so I had my man Mitt run and post something about Libya without having it vetted first. Hope you like it.

Hera Sent Me September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Mitt's money has more foreign policy experience than he'll ever have himself.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Just yesterday, some campaign asshole or the other was yawping on about Mitt's extensive foreign policy experience, what with his speaking French and living abroad and stuff. Seems to me they only dislike that shit when it's done by not-Republicans.

HogeyeGrex September 12, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Seems to me they only dislike that shit when it's done by not-Republicans.

That applies to pretty much everything.

mrpuma2u September 12, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Yeah but there aren't many muslins in the Cayman Islands. Just like mittens only their assets go there.

Tundra Grifter September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

For the past couple of months I've been waiting for (r)Money's big September or October gaffe. He didn't let me down with this one.

On 9/10, foreign policy was a bright shiny object distracting the President of the United States. On the night of 9/11, (r)Money was the instant expert.

Meanwhile, Paul RAyn can't really remember how fast he ran that marathon. But he's the expert on the numbers in the Federal Budget.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/runner-first-q

Weenus299 September 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm

It's not even the debates thing yet, the typical time in which his tongue does more twists than a pretzel.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Sadly, heavy marijuana use has its consequences.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Yes? And those would be?

Tundra Grifter September 12, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Huh? What were we talking about?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Who? You mean the Cheezbrgr guy?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Republicans are running away from Romney faster than Paul Ryan ever ran a marathon. http://www.slate.com/blogs/weigel/2012/09/12/time

Tundra Grifter September 12, 2012 at 7:27 pm

I have a theory that sometimes people repeat a lie so much they start to believe it themselves. They forget its actually a lie.

You know – somebody went to Cambridge or Oxford for a Summer class and on her resume she's now a Rhodes Scholar. A guy inflates his job description.

Listen to almost any man after a few beers when he starts talking about his high school sports' performance.

Paul RAyn isn't used to being on the national stage – where people actually check out the shit he says.

Neither, apparently, is (r)Money…

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 10:42 pm

That's the part I don't get. Didn't these two Junior Munsters ever have to deal with people outside their own privileged little private circle? Didn't their mamas and daddies teach them not to share their private business with the whole world? Most importantly, didn't anyone teach them NOT TO LIE IN PUBLIC?

Sorry. Sometimes they get me so fucking wired I just want to slap the lying smirks right off their faces. With votes.

Native_of_SL_UT September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

So a bunch of religious extremists pop off and start killing Americans because our foreign diplomacy sucks and then Mitt pops off and supports their position.
Good job, Mitt.

An_Outhouse September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

"we condemn efforts to offend believers of all religions"

That is truly OUTRAGEOUS!!!!! Of course we DO NOT condemn efforts to offend believers of all religions, we condemn efforts to offend believers of certain Judeo-Christian religions. All the others get to receive a big ass cruise missile or a drone. Especially if they are of the brown persuasion.

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm

We actively attempt to offend believers of faiths not having a cross as their symbol. We just pretend to like the Jooz, but that's cause Jebus is going to smite the heathen swine dead upon is imminent return.

SigDeFlyinMonky September 12, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Getch'er torches and pitchforks men, we're off for Nauvoo to cleanse the land! We'll not leave one stone standing!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Indeed. US military and political advisors said nothing at all when their puppet Ngo Dinh Diem broke the Hoa Hao, Cao Dai, and Binh Xuyen, or when his sister-in-law the vile Madame Nhu, referred to the self-immolation of Buddhist monks as "bonze barbecue." Privately, I'm sure they snickered, but publicly they said and did nothing to hold their puppets in check. Only when he was not killing enough VietNamese for their taste did they have the CIA organize a coup to bump off the Ngo brothers.

ChillBill September 12, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Do we really have to put up with this shit for 55 more days? Fuck me sideways.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Can you wait til the next drinky thingy? They all seem sideways in that DC bar.

ChillBill September 12, 2012 at 1:49 pm

There was also a lot of sideboob, from what I heard.

freakishlywrong September 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

A-Fucking-Men. I want my time machine, dammit.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Forward, with a vote? Backward, with a baseball bat?

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

That's Chris Christie's position, except its Forward with a Bat, Backward on Voter rights.

imissopus September 12, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Not to go all editor again, but Terry Jones only promoted this movie. It was apparently made by a businessman in California who claims to be an Israeli citizen (Israel so far has denied knowing anything about him) and funded through donations from wealthy Jewish people (thanks for that, fellow MOTs.) It's right there in the headline of the second link.

freakishlywrong September 12, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Who has bravely gone in to hiding, after causing the deaths of five people.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Actually you could replace "Westerners" in that first paragraph with "everybody" and it would not be inaccurate. The murder of tribal people, Hindus, and Christians in Bangladesh, for example, has gone on for decades now, and nobody seems to be able to curb it.

anniegetyerfun September 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Yes, fair enough.

MiniMencken September 12, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Miitens has been channeling the angel Moron.

Weenus299 September 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Moronmey. So there.

starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 4:00 pm

More money.

sharethegrief September 12, 2012 at 1:31 pm

The diplomatic workers would still be alive if this had happened in Utah.

delaney_blom September 12, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Only one way to come back from a "Lehman moment"

Suspend campaign operations!
Call for summitt in Washington to get to the bottom of how to deal with statements to the news media about violent mobs attacking our diplomats abroad!

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Make no statement at or after the summit and spend the entire time looking like you are having a mini-stroke.

DahBoner September 12, 2012 at 4:28 pm

HENG???

ManchuCandidate September 12, 2012 at 1:32 pm

This will end as badly as the Star Wars Who Shot First debates (Han shot first, always.)

Mitt shot first… he shot himself in the foot.

emmelemm September 12, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Han didn't shoot first, Greedo didn't shoot at all!

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm

“I’m outraged by the attacks on American diplomatic missions in Libya and Egypt and by the death of an American consulate worker in Benghazi,”

“I’m outraged by the attacks on American factory workers in America and by the death of the American manufacturing sector in America,” said OJ Romney.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 12, 2012 at 2:01 pm

He's still looking for the real job killers.

Weenus299 September 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Can he suspend his campaign and pave the way for Newt Gingrich?

mrblifil September 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

They will fix all this by the time of the conven…oh wait.

PeaceWithHonor September 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm

How do you top Michael Dukakis in a tank? Mitt, you would be scary if you weren't so fucking incompetent.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Here's what's *really* bugging me, tho. How did someone as incompetent as Mitt — and every moment of his campaign has displayed this for all to see — become so incredibly wealthy? HAO?

jqheywood September 12, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Being an absolute dick is an asset in the private capital field. If you have no moral sense, no guide, you will screw over your mother to make a buck.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 12:05 am

True. I've worked for some royal dicks in my time, and goodness knows they didn't have much smarts, but when it came to fucking people over, they had no second.

kissawookiee September 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I suspect it would involve lots of olive oil.

rickmaci September 12, 2012 at 5:52 pm

All I can figure is it must be a Massachusetts thing.

Incitefully_Joe September 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Embassy says a conciliatory thing in the hopes of quenching the local rage, local rage fails to quench and leads to attack on said Embassy that leaves several Americans dead, Mitt Romney responds by criticizing Embassy for saying conciliatory thing. Because it proves that President Obama is the guy who is Blaming America First here.

deanbooth September 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Religion poisons everything.

GuanoFaucet September 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm

This is what happens when a half-cat, half-man runs for president.

Also, Dude, half-cat, half-man is not the preferred nomenclature. Werecat, please.

fuflans September 12, 2012 at 4:01 pm

oh boy i've got some werecats at home who are so thanking you right now.

jqheywood September 12, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Where?

Maman September 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Can I apologize to the world for Mitt Romney being a git?

SayItWithWookies September 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm

No need — let Mitt take his own lumps for a change. Besides, his campaign will be denying he said this in a few minutes, if they haven't already done so.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Only four hours after his last statement explaining his statement last night the campaign is issuing a final statement that this will be Mitt's last statement before he learns he screwed up the last statement.

fuflans September 12, 2012 at 4:02 pm

and heaven forfend we have to keep doing so after november.

Weenus299 September 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Fuck the teabaggers and the Coke Bros. I'm beginning to think Mittens really feels this way.

hagajim September 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Mittens Romney, starring in Bungle of the Jungle, or maybe that's Bungle in the Jungle….wait, wasn't that a Jethro Tull song?

SexySmurf September 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Are you saying all the time Mittens spent helping the Lichtenstein luge team find a non-smoking hotel room didn't prepare him to handle a situation like this?

Weenus299 September 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Quick, somebody text Hillary.

Estproph September 12, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Has Mitt officially lost yet?

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 1:43 pm

He sure is working on it.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm

It was said, on Fox News by one of the BB's, 'If Mitt Romney loses this election his attempt to make any statement on this tragedy will be a major cause."

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

President just pulled TWO MOAR points ahead on national poll, says Gallup. There's nearly ten points between them, now, and it's not looking too good for Mitt.

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:43 pm

And good ol' Nate has him with a 79.7% chance of winning- BEFORE those fucking dumbass comments of Mitt's!!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 11:36 pm

ZOMG, be still my beating heart. Not gonna quit doing what I do, but man I am SO fucking glad to hear that.

UnholyMoses September 12, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Well, fuck them, because Mitt’s on fire, and he does not need any water, because he will let his motherfucking campaign burn.

♫ The douche, the douche, the douche is on fire … ♫

SigDeFlyinMonky September 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

He's on fire, water can't quench the flames. This leads me to think the brakes overheated, the magnesium wheels caught fire and, in spectacular fashion, the wheels just came off the bus.

oenspiek September 12, 2012 at 1:37 pm

This insults half-cat half-men!

SmutBoffin September 12, 2012 at 2:01 pm

CAT FURRY LIBEL

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Although this guy was pretty nasty.

mr bojangles September 12, 2012 at 1:37 pm

wasn t that movie underwritten by a bain owned company?!?! thought so! romney couldn't have timed its release any better…he gets my vote!

Generation[redacted] September 12, 2012 at 1:37 pm

They're rioting and killing people because a Terry Jones movie insulted their religion? Really?

It took them this long to see Life of Brian?

Oblios_Cap September 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Were they members of the Libyans People's Army or the People of Libya Front?

mrpuma2u September 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm

It was the People's front of Libya. No wait, he's over there. SPLITTER!!!

GhostBuggy September 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Ha, that's what I actually thought at first. Not that it was "LoB," but that Jonesy had made some kind of BBC America doc that poked fun at religions or something. All I heard before that at work today was that it was a film from someone in America, so I didn't know. So, I'm kind of dumb, is what I'm saying.

In other news, is there a reason we can't just give them Pastor Jones?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

What did the Americans ever do for them?

UnholyMoses September 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

"Other than the cluster bombs and the drones?"

"And the indefinite detentions."

"Okay, other than the cluster bombs and the drones, and the indefinite detentions. Other than—"

"And the illegitimate wars."

"Okay, then. Other than the cluster bombs and the drones, and the indefinite detentions and the illegitimate wars … "

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 1:40 pm

a very senior Republican foreign policy hand

The statement was too rational to be Bolton (the phrase "bomb Iran" didn't occur enough), so I'm thinking Condi.

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Also, re: pedo-furry

To fap or not to fap?

mavenmaven September 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Talk about flip flopping, they were attacking Obama for getting involved in Libya, now they want to declare war on all Islamic countries. This went around the internet today: "From Obama's first speech in Egypt continuing unimpeded until this day, your president is appeasing, kowtowing, and essentially supporting terrorist regimes." NUKE EVERYONE!

GhostBuggy September 12, 2012 at 3:33 pm

"Nuke the whales?"

"Gotta nuke somethin'."

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Then nuke the Gay Whales. For Jesus.

magic_titty September 12, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Mitt Romney condemns the attack on his attack of President Obama as a cheap stunt that attempts to politicize his politicizing of the violence in Egypt. And Mitt Romney attacks President Obama for making him attack him in the first place. And so on…

barto September 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

I thought the Obama campaign had deep penetration into Mitt's campaign with the Eastwood plant, but it's clear it doesn't stop there. Apparently they planted Mitt himself. Will these people stop at nothing to win the White House?

ffredpalakon September 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Mitt Romney, not ready for the presidency, completely ready for the WWE. I look forward to John Cena's first bout against the Savage Saint.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Who will Linda McMahan hit with a chair in this one?

LibrarianX September 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Does Mittens think he's still in London at the Olympics?

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I wonder if Mitt has David Bowie's "Cat People" on his iPod.


And I've been putting out fire with gasoline
Putting out fire with gasoline

Steverino247 September 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Here, you'll feel better. Or fap better, your choice.
http://nastassjakinski.org/

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Nice, but too much clothing and Clarence Sinclair Bull imitations.

Naked_Bunny September 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

So, like, what website is that in the picture? Just idle curiosity.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I just assumed you ran it.

Jus_Wonderin September 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I am beginning to see Mitt as the male (?) version of Sarah. Including the dangerous parts.

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

The reproductive organs?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Oh, crap. Are you saying that Mitt has anus dentata?

Gleem McShineys September 12, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I LOL'd.

Then I thought, wait, this explains a hell of a lot about his perpetually conflicting statements! Perhaps his toothy bunghole is sometimes doing all the talking?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Now I'm LOLing. And then President O had to say that thang about "Mitt shoots first and aims later," which has pretty much sealed Mitty's fate, politically.

Incitefully_Joe September 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Also, I just want to say this, but Free Speech, sure whatever, but in the not-quite-legal meaning of the phrase, Terry Jones has a heap of American blood on his hands. I don't really see the need to sugar-coat this.

I absolutely agree that the violent actors deserve the lion's share of blame for their violent acts, but incitement is serious business, and what Terry Jones and his ilk do is absolute, knowing, incitement. In my book, there's no moral from how someone that hires a hitman is culpable for the murder, even if someone else pulled the firing mechanism.

Terry Jones's worldview revolves around the idea that the West is already at War with Islam, and that the rest of the world needs to see that. And therefore, the supposed innate violence of Islam needs to be "exposed". And thus, he goes out of his way to instigate acts of Muslim violence, hoping for this sort of response, to prove his point.

Again, violent acts should be blamed on the violent actors, but when you make a sport of Muslim baiting, expecting, and even welcoming this sort of reaction, because it justifies your calls for retaliatory extremism, then you absolutely have that same blood on your hands, as well.

Steverino247 September 12, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Very well stated.

anniegetyerfun September 12, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I have to be honest, I think Mittens is stupider than a block of cement, but I would have thought at least one of his advisors would have been, like, "Dude, shut up and go get something to eat or something, OK?". Because when fucking Mitch McConnell isn't saying anything critical (and there is NEVER a time when that man doesn't love to bitch about the black President), then it's time to zip it.

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I would have thought at least one of his advisors

Mittens likes to fire advisors.

SigDeFlyinMonky September 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Speaking as an inspector of concrete, I must state that the inanimate mixture of water, cement and aggregate serves many more positive functions in this world than this self-entitled twit.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 12, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Well all you Republicans? What did you expect from someone who straps his dog to the roof of a car? Hmmmmmmmm?

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Finally, after five years from when the story was first circulated, Mitt joked about it and showed absolutely no clue that he was abusing the poor animal.

siga_no_mas September 12, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Long time lurker, first time commenter — also the spouse of an active duty military member serving at a U.S. Embassy abroad and therefore frightened by the prospect of a Romney presidency. As spouse said this morning, "so what new war in the Middle East do the neo cons have us into now?" Sick of the rah rah chickenhawks spouting off without thinking of those of us who pay the price. (Sorry, will work on the snark next time.)

Callyson September 12, 2012 at 2:01 pm

“It’s disgraceful that the Romney campaign’s first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to politicize the attacks.”

/fixed
/asshole

BlueStateLibel September 12, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Actually, both of my cats issued very reasonably-worded statements this morning on this very sad affair.

Pat_Pending September 12, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Mine just barfed up a hair ball.

KeepFnThatChicken September 12, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Talk me down, people.

Whether Barry or Mittens in the 'House, it isn't like this is going to improve either way, because I think the Arab Spring was very incomplete. I don't think any of this will get better without an Arab Renaissance… or at least a tacit awareness that this whole "murderin' and killin' blasphemers" stuff is old hat and makes one's crows feet more pronounced.

I mean, really.

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

The only solution is probably viable fusion, or some other energy source that causes the price of oil to fall through the floor. Without the Saudi and Iranian elite throwing around petrodollars to prop up their own extremist views in the Islamic world, the more rational actors in the region might want to try something else for a change.

I mean, we have our own backwards bigots in the US, but our Teabaggers are used by the 1%, rather than being the 1% themselves.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Stop being rational. We are talking politics.

JohnnyQuick September 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Actually, there's talk that the whole protest was a front for an al Qaeda revenge attack.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Just talk, so far. I'm leery of anyone named Noman Benotman. Who did this terrible thing? Noman.

Blueb4sinrise September 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Generation[redacted] September 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

That will happen slowly over time as the Arab world comes online and the Internet (hopefully) fosters communication and learning. Look at the American South, which for decades had race riots at the drop of a black man's hat, the kind where white mobs would storm black neighborhoods burning down every house and killing everyone who couldn't flee fast enough. As much as I like to joke about the "backward" South now, if Terry Jones is the worst of it now, we've come a long way.

SigDeFlyinMonky September 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Needs moar Sufis.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Before 9/11 a woman worked in our office whose husband was an extreme Islamist. She was Egyptian and Sufi and tended to dismiss 'them' as politically naive and mentioned that her husband was back living in Egypt. She quit in '99. Later around 2004 her job was being done by a temp who was Sharia and knew the other woman and told me her husband had been deported for dealing drugs and did so to fund the extremism he supported in Egypt.

This isn't really going to talk you down, but I learned from listening to them (they often had to share a terminal in m y office – and WOULD NOT SHUT UP) that there is no Arab Spring. There is an Arab March, an Arab April, an Arab May, an Arab June. Point being – we can have no real discourse if we listen to those who think all those expressing themselves in the middle east are of the same set of values, sect or allegiance. What is most critical is that the toppling of Sodomy Hussein gave the entire area the pattern that you do not have to live under a non-sectarian or secular government.

Hell the most potent gravitas of what we often call the right wing nut job wing of the (mostly) republican party is comprised of people who are advocating for a sectarian USA, provided it is Jesus concentric and white.

It may sound bizarre and is a long stretch but if one needs to find a presidential, executive office cause for the recent days events it is the Bush administration which toppled Sadam and refused to recognize any other elements in Sadam's secular coalition other than the well healed, but minority Sunni Ruling Class.
.

BlueStateLibel September 12, 2012 at 7:33 pm

There's no way the killing blashermers stuff in the Middle East is going away, not in our lifetimes, not in our grandchildren's lifetimes.

The only thing I look at it from the U.S. perspective is how to contain it and deal with it without antagonizing the millions of peaceful Muslims. People like Mitt Romney and John McCain and the whole bunch of neocons are utterly incapable of that. They live in a fantasy world of how they think things should be when it comes to the world. Romney has spent the majority of his life as a CEO used to yes-men and trampling on other people. The real world isn't like that. So Obama won't be able to change much, but he's demonstrated he's going to do the least harm. Romney just demonstrated he can't even wait to shoot his mouth off before the facts are in before shooting his mouth off. Do not want.

littlebigdaddy September 12, 2012 at 2:03 pm

We are seeing Zombie Mittens now.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Man, it really hurts when you step on your dick, and then get it caught in a wringer.

Steverino247 September 12, 2012 at 2:12 pm

And even Sarah Palin won't kiss it and make it better…

Gleem McShineys September 12, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Well, whoever used his dick last should have returned it to its charging cradle, anyway. That staffer is SO FIRED.

Nostrildamus September 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

A perfect confluence of Christian assholes, Muslim assholes and Mormon assholes.

BaldarTFlagass September 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

And the guy that made the movie is Israeli, which I would guess means a Jewish asshole is involved as well.

♫ It's an asshole celebration, and they're all out on the street,
See them on the sidewalk, oh hear them shufflin' feet
It's twenty thousand assholes, doing asshole promenade
Step aside good people, it's the assholes on parade.♪

We’ve got the assholes for freedom, assholes for fun,
assholes for Jesus, and the assholes for guns
We've got assholes on the water, assholes in the sky
Sign there says help wanted, only assholes need apply.

I once heard it said that old assholes never die,
They just lie in bed and multiply.
Assholes in the morning, assholes every night,
Assholes to the left and assholes to the right;

It's twenty thousand assholes, doing asshole promenade
Step aside good people, it's the assholes on parade.♪

HogeyeGrex September 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm

It's… Naaaaational Brotherhood Week!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Oh, the Catholics hate the Protestants
And the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Hindus hate the Muslims
And EVERYBODY hates the Jews,

But during National Brotherhood Week …

mrblifil September 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Ha ha even Mark Halperin is mad at him and Mark Halperin mad at a Republican is a thing that has never yet happened on Earth.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I hear Somalia is looking for a diplomat and Romney will be available after the elections are over.

Generation[redacted] September 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I hear his security detail may be subject to budget cuts.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 5:10 pm

With close to a billion dollars in Real Wealth, I doubt that's a real issue for him.

mustangsavvy September 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Dear Mitts – when Sarah Palin is the person you take your cues from in responding to a major international clusterfuck where PEOPLE HAVE DIED, then you have officially forfeited your bid for the Presidency. Fuckwit.

xo
Sane People

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

This is a "Deep Blue Sea" incident. Mitt has not only jumped the shark, he got et by it.

gogogodzilla September 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

But Sarah Palin is the true victim here. Never forget!!1!!

deangarr September 12, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I keep thinking about that 3:00am call at the White House.
I don't want it to be Mr. Romney who answers.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

He has people to answer it.

bobbert September 12, 2012 at 5:55 pm

And fuck it up.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 12:04 am

Just like the ForeignPolicyTeam of advisors who wrote the shitty press release he put out last night, for which he is currently being pilloried. Geezus!

proudgrampa September 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I know I'm somewhat repeating myself:

Time for the President to declare martial law and throw Romney and Palin into Guantanamo for sedition.

Constitution be damned.

Generation[redacted] September 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Normally I wouldn't agree to anything of the sort, but if it's done to keep America safe…

Misty Malarky September 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm

It's funny to realize Mitt Romney could gay marry a dead baby fetus live on TV while wiping his butt with the flag – and STILL the majority Right would support him by grousing that he's still better than that Commie/Nazi Kenyan.

starfanglednut September 12, 2012 at 4:08 pm

he's white.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 5:11 pm

That's what s/he said.

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:52 pm

But only if the fetus was female- no gay marriage!!

OneYieldRegular September 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

But 2012 is Mitt's time – to move to the Cayman Islands, lock himself and his money in his beachside manse, and leave the world alone.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 12, 2012 at 2:22 pm

So strange. All last week FOX News and the rest of the Conservative echo chamber were deriding Democrats for hating religion and not standing up for religious liberty.

One week later, and we are back to wanting to bomb people for the stupidity of some religious believers.

I'm so confused. Will someone point out when religious beliefs trump all other beliefs, and when they don't?

Generation[redacted] September 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I understand the confusion, but it's really quite simple. The precedent was settled years ago with the landmark ruling in the case of Us v Them.

ffredpalakon September 12, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I feel like I'm watching a re-make of The Dead Zone and Mitt Romney just picked up the baby.

Ben Cisco September 12, 2012 at 2:24 pm

When the only people backing your play are Rinseus Repeatus, Newtron Bomb and Il Dunce, you have SERIOUSLY fucked up.

GeorgiaBurning September 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Mittens is looking less like the CEO, who would have his Corporate Communications flacks handling the story; and more like some scheming finance VP trying to cook the Powerpoints to make the CEO look bad in front of the board.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

My thoughts exactly. He finished so many statements with the look of 'change the slide before they discover the math doesn't work.'

Pap Finn September 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Like I've been saying all year: remember that he truly is the best they had. Repeat that to yourself and let it sink in. Then consider the future of the Republican party and tell me if you see anything other than an impenetrable, stygian darkness.

Fuckers. They all deserve each other.

GhostBuggy September 12, 2012 at 3:41 pm

If Romney loses the election (and he's going to, let's be honest), there has got to be a major reorganization of the party. How could they possibly continue down this road?

GeorgiaBurning September 12, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Nah, they'll say Mittens wasn't crazy ("conservative") enough. The money men will double down to keep Congress ineffective in hopes of electing Ryan in 2016.

Pap Finn September 12, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I know. I don't doubt that there are Republicans who see the desperate need to moderate and reorganize, but what do you do with an electoral base that has a 28 Days Later-style rage virus and is clinically fucking insane? You've hit on a question that I've been obsessed with for years: where do they go from where they are now? They're already standing at the precipice.

I think we'll see a gradual mainstreaming of secession talk from the right throughout Obama's second term.

GhostBuggy September 12, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Shh! You'll jinx it!

Actually, I think at some point we'll see the party fracture into moderates and far-right-wingers. It seems unthinkable in the modern day, since we've only known these two bloated monstrosities our whole lives, but it seems like it has to happen at some point.

Like GeorgiaBurning said above, they'll start out by saying Romney was too much of a feeb to win anyway, and not a Real Conservative. But they've already said that with the last one, and one wonders how much longer they can keep going with that.

Who knows what's going to happen really, but it's going to be fun watching them implode.

Pap Finn September 12, 2012 at 5:35 pm

A formal split into two parties would fulfill a fantasy I've cherished for decades, but the new 'moderate' Republican party would be a teeny, tiny party indeed, wouldn't it? What *is* a moderate in today's GOP? Or have they been hunted to extinction?

In any case, you're right: the Republicans are not headed to a very happy place, and watching them wallow in the hell they've created for themselves will be a joy beyond price.

viennawoods13 September 12, 2012 at 6:56 pm
rocktonsam September 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Hey Fittens, get the troops activated and send them there pronto. They must be bored with the whole Afganistan Iraq thingy and a change of scenery will do the kids some good also.

CRIPES ALMIGHTY WHAT A MAROON

Generation[redacted] September 12, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Mittens then went on to announce that our new ambassador to Libya, Rev Terry Jones, would be providing his own security for the American embassy, to be staffed exclusively by members of his church.

Schmegeg September 12, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Let's all resolve to let Terry Jones exercise his important free speech rights from the bottom of a very deep pit.

PinkoPopulist September 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

"Five U.S. Diplomats Killed by Obama in Egypt, Libya; Mitt Romney was First on the Internet!!!"

There, I fixed it for you.

PinkoPopulist September 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Also, Barack Hussein Obama Soetoro, sympathize withs attackers, bows to our enemies, appeasement, HITLER!!! OBUMMER IS HITLER!!!

LibrarianX September 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Religious fanatics are the problem? Nuke Salt Late City.

PinkoPopulist September 12, 2012 at 4:54 pm

And most of the South.

Isyaignert September 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm

After Romney woefully bungled his press conference about the horrible tragedy in Libya, one commenter said: “Romney’s campaign is so dead he’s about ready to baptize it.”

MonkeyMotion September 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Kryst almighty. This dipshit — who can't open his piehole without inserting a huge dong — managed to 'make' (steal?) ~$250 million while at Bain?

Makes my frickin' brain hurt…

PinkoPopulist September 12, 2012 at 4:56 pm

What am I doing wrong?!?!

OH that's right, I didn't start life with a silver spoon in my mouth and millions of dollars of daddy's money and political clout backing me up.

Antispandex September 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

WOW! Those people are MohamMAD! and Mitters means to jump on it like a big kid on the last biscuit! Jeepers, how will America's President POSSIBLY respond to his attack…except to maybe point out that Mitt is a tool, with NO international experience, and the fact that the whole world hates him as a bonus? Must go watch trash Tee Vee and take some Sertraline (Zoloft, but I wanted to avoid product recommendtaion problems there), and also, maybe, have several beers, so this will all go away. Now, can I keep it up until the second week in November?

sati_demise September 12, 2012 at 3:37 pm

teh Wonkette is now insulting cats? hooo boy

oh and fuck you terry jones you goddamned bastard , jam a bag of dicks asshole

sati_demise September 12, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Rmoney is more like half weasel, half leach

Nostrildamus September 12, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Has Bristol weighed in yet?

BarackMyWorld September 12, 2012 at 3:49 pm

To be fair, its not like other countries can be bought by Romney for a percentage, loaded with debt, and sold at a huge profit. Of course he doesn't know how to deal with them.

MistaEko September 12, 2012 at 3:58 pm

This is what happens when a half-cat, half-man runs for president.

Worst. Slashfic. Ever.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 12:11 am

At least its *legitimately* SLASHfic.

Pat_Pending September 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm

How has this man managed to out-Palin Palin???

DahBoner September 12, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Here's your O-Fish-Ull Guide To Rage Like A Teabagger©…

I'm outraged by [Insert incident that occurred under Bush, but you ignored because he was White], it's disgraceful that [Choose one: Obama, Democrats, Liberals] first response was to [insert false Strawman argument here, that you read somewhere on Drudge or chain emails from your cousin Bernie]…

wordpuss September 12, 2012 at 4:30 pm

You missed the most egregious part of Mitten's response:

The statement issued by the US embassy in Cairo (which Mitt criticized) was released before the attack on the embassy occurred! How the hell do you condemn an attack that hasn't happened yet??

CogitoErgoSumo September 12, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Blessed are the cheesemakers, … Cheesemakers?! Whats so special about them?

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 5:57 pm

OT? Or not? Libyans on Teh InterNetz r saying that the citizens of Benghazi are raising money to rebuild the US consulate there. They're poor as fuck, so that's damned impressive.

Sassomatic September 12, 2012 at 6:09 pm

But how will this affect Sarah Palin?

ttommyunger September 12, 2012 at 7:03 pm

“I’m outraged by the attacks on American diplomatic missions in Libya and Egypt and by the death of an American consulate worker in Benghazi,” Romney said in the statement. “It’s disgraceful that the Obama Administration’s first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions, but to sympathize with those who waged the attacks.” (Clutches pearls, swoons)

aklibtard September 13, 2012 at 4:30 am

75% of the people out there haven't heard about this statement or give a shit about it. The fact is that just about everyone that is going to vote made up their mind about who they'll vote for months ago. A soundbite that will make all of outraged for a day, until Mitbot comes up with something else that pisses us off, will have absolutely no impact on this election. The one and only thing that this election will turn on is voter turnout, so make sure all of you're friends that are "meh" about voting turn out to the polls by promising booze if they come back with their "I voted today" sticker.

Guppy September 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Perhaps Romney's healthcare proposal is to have Frist diagnose everyone's ailments from the Senate floor.

Geminisunmars September 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Ditto.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Hey!

emmelemm September 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

On yer pillow!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:45 pm

After all those belly-skritchez I gave you? You oughta be ashamed. (checks pillow)

imissopus September 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm

A tale of two familes,
The Azars and the Epsteins…

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Oy. That was one weird story. I was too little to understand most of it at that time, but people actually surrounded the couple's home (it didn't help that they had been sleeping together, apparently, before the marriage) and threatened their lives. All I remember is lots of angry faces and people threatening to set fire to the house. At least until she came out and verbally kicked their asses. She had a foul mouth and could swear fluently in about five languages, and she took the hide off those people. She actually scandalized them into going away. Mostly because all the mothers and old ladies dragged the kids and husbands away at high speed. I remember my mother saying that listening to language like that would defile your soul forever, and people should close their ears. It's hard to close your ears and light fires at the same time, I guess. They moved out of our neighbourhood, and I think they ended up living in the city, which was a lot safer for them.

miss_grundy September 12, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I just checked that out of the library, I'm going to start reading it while in line to get into a sneak preview tonight.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 12, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Oh, I've read that. It's fascinating.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:28 pm

You, too, Missy. We're gonna need to talk.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Hahahaha HAYAKU!!

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:32 pm

??! WTF? A WEEK?

I would've strangled him. If I'm gonna get dumped I want it to be BEFORE I went overboard and invited all my friends and family to some fancy-assed wedding. Like SIX MONTHS before.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Dude, don't be giving him any MOAR ideas! Whose side are YOU on, anyhow?

bobbert September 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

It's actually pretty simple. "Cosmic rays" are nuclei that have been accelerated to nearly the speed of light by as yet uncertain mechanisms. One thing most astrophysicists generally agree on is that they originate very far away (because if they came from closer, presumably we'd be able to see the sources).

G, Z, and K independently did a calculation that says that even if the cosmic rays had a path to Earth that didn't run into dust clouds, the road is so long that they must lose some energy along the way by interaction with photons. of the cosmic microwave background. Therefore, they predict that cosmic rays that reach Earth will have an energy below a calculable maximum.

Physicists like cosmic rays because they have energies that are around a million times higher than can be produced by the Large Hairdo Collider (although the "experiments" are uncontrollable).

Of course, I only used GZK because it came to mind as being HAL minus one. I had to look up the guys' names.

James Michael Curley September 12, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Clever I didn’t catch that.

Charlie_Foxtrot September 13, 2012 at 12:23 am

It's a Lorenz violation at the Planck scale.

Fifteen yards and loss of down.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Hey! That's MY job! (Hugs jq right back)

I'm touched. And I mean that without any snark.

jqheywood September 12, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I know….and on a day like today, I thought maybe spreading a little "nice" wouldn't be such a bad idea, karma-wise. I have some close friends in the Foreign Service in the Middle East that I am more than a little worried about tonight.

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 11:01 pm

(Hugs you tenderly right back)

MittBorg September 12, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Well, in that case you need double hugs. (Hugs you again, pats your back) Here's hoping they all come out of this OK.

glasspusher September 12, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Her "charms" apparently only work on right wingers.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 12:09 am

Hey, I replied to his but ID eated my reply and now I can't remember what I said except it was something rude about Bill Frist.

Charlie_Foxtrot September 13, 2012 at 12:30 am

Smokes, drinks and cusses, you say? Damn, she sounds like my kind of girl!

Is she divorced yet?

ChuckieJesus September 13, 2012 at 6:50 am
MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I don't know, hon, but now that I know your requirements, I'm looking through my LittleBlackBook for ya.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

No, but I'm very flattered that you would think I am. Canadians are the nicest people, and they make a DECENT cuppa tea!

Isyaignert September 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I picked up on your spelling of "favourite" and thought you might be a neighbor to the north. I love Canada and would happily move to Vancouver, B.C. if it weren't for our adorable grandchildren in Seattle.

MittBorg September 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Oh, yes, the English spelling thing. I was educated in another Colony, far away, you see. And the nuns were very quick with the ruler on the knuckles for misspellings.

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