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Romney to You People: Get Your ShineboxHere is a fun fact about gay people that Mitt Romney learned courtesy of a group of hero gay rights activists: gay people have families! YES, actual families. But wait, you might be thinking, how is it possible that Mitt Romney had gone his whole life not knowing where gay babies come from? Is he originally from Iran, where there are no gay people? No, of course he is not from Iran, so what could possibly explain the fact that he actually said “I didn’t know you had families,” to a group of gay rights activists? And can this same explanation also help us better contextualize all the other horrible things he said to those gay right activists during that meeting?

“I looked him in the eye as we were leaving,” recalls [Julie] Goodridge, [a gay rights activist who managed to meet with Romney when he was governor]. “And I said, ‘Governor Romney, tell me — what would you suggest I say to my 8 year-old daughter about why her mommy and her ma can’t get married because you, the governor of her state, are going to block our marriage?’”

His response, according to Goodridge: “I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.”

Of course, this was HER OWN BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER, not her ADOPTED daughter, which once again raises questions about Mitt’s understanding of biology and where babies come from. But even so, this is great advice to tuck away in the event that a Republican becomes president for two terms. Example: what should we tell our kid when she asks us why we are living on cat food and stealing internet? Oh, that’s easy, the same thing we’ve been telling her the last eight years — something about Liberty and Freedom and the Free Market, etc. PROBLEM SOLVED.

While Goodridge cried [in his hallway], Romney brought the press into his office to give his take on the meeting.

He described it as, “Pleasant.”

[Boston Globe]

  • Cleopatriot

    How can any person be that…whatever it is he is? This is beyond clueless.

    • RedStatePinko

      The word my 8-year-old niece uses for that kind of cluelessness is "gay."

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Bad programming?

      • Gleem McShineys

        Wingnuts consider this a feature, not a bug.

    • HempDogbane


    • sullivanst

      Callous is a good word.

    • Advn2rgirl

      I think the word you're looking for is "shitty."

    • Boojum


    • Ohforcripessake

      It's simple really. American Jesus isn't compassionate.

    • Nostrildamus

      This kind of behavior was why I gave up COBOL.

    • mbobier

      Actually, the "I don't really care" part is probably the truest thing that Lord Romney, the Grand Duke of Snottingham, has said during his entire campaign.

  • Schmannnity

    But does he believe in gay polygamy?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      What's the use of having all of those wives if you don't let them put on a show for you every once in a while?

    • hagajim

      I assume so, being as polygamy has the proper letters for gay in it. However, it might have to be bi-sexual polygamy to fly for the R'Money.

    • Ruhe

      I'm sure that like most bigoted assholes he probably thinks that's the only kind of gay there is.

    • comrad_darkness

      Romney's great grandfather had 12 wives, imagine the three-way possibilities there.

  • SpeedoFart

    Proof positive that Mittens is a psychopath.

  • Lucidamente1

    To be fair, I didn't know Mitt had a brain.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Hell, even a robot has more compassion than Mitt.

    • CommieLibunatic

      The ones in Gunnerkrigg Court at least have more appreciation for life than he does.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Even Science Officer Ash! "I can't lie to you about your chances, but… you have my sympathies."

      • Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Romney, like Ash would also have admiration for the Alien monster: "I admire its purity. A survivor… unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality"…holy shit, Mitt Romney kinda IS like the Alien monster…except for the "survivor" portion…the most he's ever had to do to survive was to go without fresh Perrier for an hour…and that servant was caned and canned…

    • JustPixelz

      My Roomba (which I call Callista because it's a robot that sucks) thanks you from the bottom of its heart.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Profiles in Dickishness"

    • comrad_darkness

      Funny, I first read that as Dickens-ish.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Gee … there goes the gay vote.

    • Self-Uploader

      I dunno. I think there are still a couple of log cabin republicans left whose taste for humiliation has not yet been sated.

    • Goonemeritus

      We just need to give him a little more time, the LDS church allowed blacks to be full members in the 70’s so it would follow that their church would support gay marriage early next century.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That puts them 200 years ahead of the Catholic church. Who knew: Mormons are downright progressive!

  • Ducksworthy

    Say, can we get back to Romney shitting on the dead Americans? Thanks. I do like the picture though so thanks for that too.

  • Baconzgood

    Making a dyke cry is pleasant. Fucking mormon fuck dick.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    "Moronic idiots are people too my friend," said Gov. Romney, putting down his mirror.

  • Sue4466

    Of course Mittens didn't know gay people had families and of course he doesn't care what that woman tells her kid. He lacks any ability to understand or care about people who are not like him. Their experiences and humanity just do not register. He's a self-entitled schmuck.

    • HogeyeGrex

      He lacks any ability to understand or care about people who are not like him.


  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    It's important to note that Goodridge told the entire story of her difficult childbirth and how her partner wasn't allowed into the L&D room because they weren't legally family. He sat through her narrative with a blank stare, according to eyewitnesses, and then made clear with his replies that he hadn't even been listening.

    I rarely want to punch the ever living fuck out of another person with my own hands, but this is a sterling exception.

    • viennawoods13

      Yeah, but he's not even a real person, so it's ok.

  • MinAgain

    Mitt Romney has heard of the concept of empathy, and he wants no truck with it.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Trucks have more empathy than Romney.

      • SorosBot

        That Optimus Prime has a shitload of empathy, for one.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Doesn't he have staff to take care of such things?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's a "requested feature" that has yet to be added to his programming.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    he actually said “I didn’t know you had families,” to a group of gay rights activists

    "I thought you people came from some hive out in Provincetown or something."

    • MissusBarry

      Immaculate conception! It's a very jeebusful explanation.

      • Misty Malarky

        Is that what we're calling buttsex these days?

        I adore being PC!

      • OneYieldRegular

        Immaculate misconception!

    • PsycWench

      They sprang fully formed out of the head of Zeus, but a really fabulous well-dressed Zeus.

    • schvitzatura

      Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis…no one move a muscle as the derp come home.

  • Baconzgood

    “I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.”

    I bet she'll be telling her daughter for the next 60 years "fuck that Romney shit sack"

    • AncienReggie

      As long as she spends the next FOUR years telling her, "Hah! Cheese weasel had it coming."

  • mavenmaven

    His crowd gets turned on when he makes lesbian mothers cry.

    • delaney_blom

      Allow me to rephrase: Lactating lesbian tears = latter-day saint love lubricant

  • BloviateMe

    Judging by the smirk on his mug when talking about American dead, I'm sure he did think making someone cry was "pleasant."

    She should be grateful she got out of there with her hair intact.

    Mitt is a completely apathetic fuck. The question isn't "does he have a disorder," it is "how many, and what kind of disorders."

    • starfanglednut

      Must. Not. Say. AOTK.

      • Nostrildamus

        I bet he's missing Guinea Worm. Get on it, God!

  • Lucidamente1

    “I didn’t know you had families.”

    "No, Governor, I have a family. What do you think I am, a Mormon?"

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      win X a gazillion

    • hagajim

      And even if they didn't have children, I assume they have families. I don't think the gheyz were born in a fucking cabbage patch…maybe Mitt does.

    • Negropolis


  • UnholyMoses

    Gay children are people too, my friend.

  • LesBontemps

    Hey Mitt: FYI, "adopted daughter" = "daughter." Only assholes make any distinction.

    • Guppy

      Jesus: "Fuck the widows and orphans."

      Mitt's got the orphans part down; he's delegating the widows portion to Ryan.

    • writemeblue

      thank you, because I have actual smoke coming out of my head over this one!!! I know that's not the main issue with his absolute assholery in this particular story, but I HATE it when smuggy conservative anti-choicers are all "you should adopt, blah blah," and then act like kids who were adopted are somehow less "real." GAH.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Yes, thanks. Glad someone else thought the same thing.

  • fartknocker

    You got to work pretty hard to be that hateful.

    • GemlikeFlame

      No, for that you really need a Bachmann.

    • LesBontemps

      I don't think he has to work that hard; it seems to just come naturally to him.

  • Franknflower

    Gays are not people, my friend.

  • SayItWithWookies

    This man deserves his own planet.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Whatever. Just as long as he gets the fuck off of mine.

    • CommieLibunatic

      I've got one in mind that is rich in rare and exotic elements, but the last probe we sent in registered a pressure reading of 18 bars before it was destroyed by an atmosphere of carbon dioxide and acid rain.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Yeah but that one's only eight months' travel time from here — he needs one a lot further away before I'm comfortable. More St. Helena than Elba.

        • CommieLibunatic

          Ah, St. Helena. So isolated, the very curvature of the Earth prevents you from detecting any other landmass from its shores.

      • Incitefully_Joe

        You mean Future-Earth? Well, minus the rare and exotic elements, which we will have completely depleted.

    • CindynEncinitas

      If there's any justice in the great beyond, he'll get Planet Claire! Come get some hot buttsecks in the Love Shack, fucker!

  • Ducksworthy

    Romney mistook her biological daughter for an adopted daughter because he actually doesn't comprehend how human reproduction, the kind on this planet, works. On Kolob, only married people have babies.

  • skmind

    Nice try, Wonkette. All this shows is that Mitt is simply not into lesbians. Maybe he's just gay.

  • hagajim

    What do I tell my daughter? Mittens….Two women having babies….does not compute, does not compute….beep beep beep!

  • keinsignal

    This is the guy who said he'd run to the left of Ted Kennedy on gay rights? Reading the article now, and this guy… It's incredible. I don't think he actually believes in anything at all, except the idea that he should be in charge.

    • hagajim

      I don't think he believes he should be in charge, I think he believes he's "entitled" to be in charge.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Next thing you know, we will find out that teh Ghayez have emotions and thoughts almost like human beings.

  • Urban_Achiever

    Well, in defense of Mitt, it's not like gay people are Corporations or anything….

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I read this earlier today. Made me want to vomit. I have no snark left for this sociopath.

    • emmelemm

      On The Stranger/SLOG? (Me too.)

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Yes! OMG, Its like we were both pretending to work at the same time! But seriously, reading about this and then being reminded of the hair cutting incident made me want to punch somebody in the balls.

        • emmelemm

          And by someone, you mean Mittens. As if he has any balls, anyway.

          Yeah, it made me feel stabby. Very, VERY stabby.

  • boobookitteh

    Mitt may actually be, unironically, History's Greatest Monster.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Only if he gets elected…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy, but these are new. They look human… sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait till he was nominated before I could zero him."

    • CommieLibunatic

      I don't suppose anyone at the conference had a Voight-Kampf Machine handy.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Mitt. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."

  • Trannysurprise

    When one of Mitt's five sons admits he's gay, Mitt can learn what it's like to be in a gay family.

    Fucking asshole.

    • Misty Malarky

      He'll just be issued Magic Underwear with a lock on the ass flap.

    • Sivart_R1

      If experience going to high school in Idaho is any indicator, should one of Mitt's five sons admit he's gay, we'll find that the RMoney family only has four sons…


    • Ohforcripessake

      If they're smart, they'll wait until they have their inheritance before they come out.

    • OneDollarJuana

      First son to admit he's gay gets tied to the roof.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    In Mitt's mind, not calling them all faggots and dykes to their faces counted as a win. Hence the "pleasant" meeting.

    • Nostrildamus

      It was "pleasant" because no one directly criticized him. He had to pretend listen to some losers whining, but they got what they deserved (nothing), and he was humming a happy tune in his head, so no prob.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Well, if she had given birth legally to that baby, there would be no problem. But gay mothers continue to give birth illegally, causing this misconception amongst mormon governors.

    • emmelemm

      Illegally and illegitimately.

  • SexySmurf

    At least he didn't try to cut her hair.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      It would take too long to hold her down until it grew out to a more ladylike length.

      • starfanglednut


  • ThankYouJeebus

    In other words, "if your question doesn't pertain to me making more money, I don't give a frack."

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I just want to make sure, but isn't "have a family" just gay slang for "have an orgy"?

    • Guppy

      What isn't gay slang for "orgy?"

  • gullywompr

    Honey Romney don't care.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I think you mean, "Money badger doesn't give a shit."

      • gullywompr


  • OneYieldRegular

    One rather sterling definition of "awkward" would be: Mitt Romney standing alone in the Hole in the Wall Saloon in San Francisco.

  • Antispandex

    "While Goodridge cried [in his hallway], Romney brought the press into his office to give his take on the meeting."

    "Boys don't cry", Romney said, completely missing the ironic turddom of his insensitive remarks. "Shithead" was the response most often heard from the crowd on the other side of his heavy, hand carved, mahogany door, as the press, unquestioningly, copied his paltitudes.

    *Fixed…Now I can haz journalism jobs?*

  • Mahousu

    A single quote that summarizes pretty much Romney's entire campaign, if not life:
    […] he says he’s not sure Romney intended to be offensive. “It felt like there was a lord/serf relationship,” remembers Friedes.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Fuck man, even Tachikomas are more emotional than the M.I. Double-Tizzle.

    • Guppy

      Their boss was pretty much a lesbian, and in the military at that.

  • Callyson

    “I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.”


    "Sweetheart, Mommy's bad mood has nothing to do with you: the Republicans have done yet another thing to fu–um, mess up our country. Mommy's going to do everything she can to get rid of them. OK, sleep tight…love you…"

  • HogeyeGrex

    What a loathsome sack of shit.

    That is all.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And another gay rights adovcate described this:

    "[Mittens] made clear that he was willing to listen to business leaders about the issue of family recognition. The impression was that if business leaders told him certain benefits and protections would increase the productivity of gay workers, he would be open to supporting those. … It was not really about what these protections would do for gay families, but what they would do for the titans of industry… It felt like there was a lord/serf relationship."

    Gee, who would imagine that Bishop/CEO Mitt Romney might not have any idea that the help might have the same type of humanity that The LORD granted him? It only makes sense, of course, if the little people think they've experienced every kind of exaltation that the Chosen have — and really, how would they know any better?

    • schvitzatura

      4%-10% of population as drones + work = $$profits$$!!!

  • Pap Finn

    This is my adopted daughter, Margot.

  • CommieLibunatic

    I guess they share the same penny-pinching policies. Sounds more plausible to me than self-loathing, anyway.

    • Guppy

      Death before taxes.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Tax deduction!!!!! Mitt!!! Tax deduction!!!!!

  • MonkeyMotion


    I think that'd better describe the angry mob's reaction after beating whatever little sense is left in Mitten's head out of him with rubber chickens.

  • iTuna

    Man, fuck that fool.

  • kingofqueenanne

    "I didn't know you had families…"

    Nope! I was totally torn from the thigh of Zeus.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Terrible robotic man is terrible.

  • delaney_blom

    I'm surprised he really didn't care what she told her daughter.

    "You should tell your daughter that her mothers cannot marry each other, but they could both be married to the same man concurrently, as long as they tithe to the LDS church, wear special underwear, keep a doomsday stockpile of canned food, feast on the flesh of non-believers . . ."

  • Incitefully_Joe

    “I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.”

    "Because Republicans are assholes."

  • Incitefully_Joe

    I didn't know Mitt Romney had a family, either. I assumed he just had a model line.

  • Pat_Pending

    I find Mitt to be an embarrassment to sociopaths everywhere.

    It's also been suggested that Mitt has Aspberger's. I don't think the 'Aspies' would have him either.

    • finallyhappy

      no one better try to excuse that sack of shit by saying he is an Aspie or on the spectrum. The idea that people on the spectrum have no empathy is bullshit

    • OneDollarJuana

      My daughter has had friends with Aspberger's. Even though a bit odd, they were much more compassionate than Mitt.

    • Incitefully_Joe

      Fuck no we wouldn't.

  • magic_titty

    His douchebaggery insults douchebags.

    • Nostrildamus

      He is a dick wad, wrapped in a fuck face, wrapped in a douche bag.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    ‘Governor Romney, tell me — what would you suggest I say to my 8 year-old daughter about why her mommy and her ma can’t get married because you, the governor of her state, are going to block our marriage?’

    'Tell her I'm a complete asshole and I don't care anything about human beings. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Paul Ryan is the sensitive one, re: Attacks in Egypt and Libya.

    He led the crowd in a brief moment of silence, then said: “This is a time for healing. It’s a time for resolve.

    Wait a minute………'moment of silence'?!?!? WTF? Pagan!!!

  • sullivanst

    LCR are pretty weird, but I think even worse are their archrivals, GOProud

    ETA: bah, IntenseDebate's features page suggests you can embed imgs, but it don't work

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Been trying to pull that stunt for ages…. first to succeed gets 100 p-ness points!

  • An_Outhouse

    Its not Mitt's fault. None of his servants have families.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Silly lesbian. The only way to get Romney to respond is to ask questions like, "Governor Romney, how will I explain to my 20 year-old trust fund that I can't grant access to my partner? You know, TO MY MONEY?"

    His ears would perk right up.

  • fuflans

    i have to say, as much as i never want to see this tool 100 miles or 10,000 years within shot of the presidency, i also get the willies thinking about the poor SOBs who had to work for him.

  • PinkoPopulist

    "8 wives for me, none for you ugly lesbian lady."

  • Mapmonger

    Christ, what an asshole (x1000)

  • OldWhiteLies

    I think I read elsewhere that this blatant example of Mitztler rMoney's complete incomprehension of the concepts of compassion and empathy is from his days as Governor. But allow me to use this to highlight another item – this also exemplifies the all too common bastardization, and dog-whistle-fortifying, of an important word: Family. Witness how his pin-point-narrow definition disallows him to even recognize that Goodridge – or any LGBT persons – have a Family.

    The dehumanizing effect is beyond chilling to me, and is all I would have ever needed to know to shun him as unworthy of any consideration whatsoever, let alone allowing him anywhere near being POTUS.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It goes back to his days at Bain . . . all those laid-off workers didn't have families either. They were just liabilites, to be shed, for the sake of the almighty bottom line.

  • bobbert

    Leftie_Left, if you're out there, I wanna change my vote.

    Rossum's Universally-detested Romneys

  • ttommyunger

    I'm beginning to realize that Mittens fucks up more as the pressure on him builds. Should be a couple of interesting months…

    • Veritas78

      Yup, we might be treated to a political meltdown unseen since that other guy caned Senator Sumner on the floor of the Senate.

      My money's on the debates. I suspect Barack has a few ideas of which buttons to press.

      • ttommyunger

        I'm witchyou.Sent from my iPhone

  • yrbmegr

    1. Woman
    2. Gay

    I'm surprised he even spoke to her.

  • Negropolis

    His response, according to Goodridge: “I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.”

    Really, fuck that guy. I totally believe Goodridge because this is completely something Romney, and only Romney should say. It's not even a proper "fuck off, bitch." It's said with the ambivalence only a Willard Romney can muster.

    Fuckin sociopath.

    You know, he tells us that corporations are people, but he's having the hardest of times convincing the American electorate that robots are people, isn't he?

  • jamsie25

    He was so nervous, so uncomfortable during that meeting it makes me wonder if he expected one of the boys he fooled around with in prep school (one he didn't abuse by forcibly cutting his hair) to show up and dish. I'd be willing to bet there are a couple.

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