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artist's rendering of suspectBeing an Incorporated American is kind of a mixed bag, as we are discovering. Since it is impossible to put Incorporated Americans in jail, or to put their logos and mascots in jail, the only way to punish an Incorporated American is to take away some of its money Speech. We learn this via a brave action by Incorporated American “Twitter,” which has refused to turn over information on some dirty hippie #Occupyer’s twantings and twavings. But unlike, say, “journalism hero” Judy Miller, is there actually any sort of punishment which it might face if it continues to flout some dick judge’s order? Well, no, not really.

Twitter Inc. has to turn over information about an Occupy Wall Street protester’s posts or face a fine, a judge ruled, giving the company three days to show it isn’t in contempt of court.

New York State Supreme Court Judge Matthew A. Sciarrino Jr. in Manhattan today said Twitter must produce the information by Sept. 14 or provide its earnings statements from the last two quarters so he can decide on a fine….

“I can’t put Twitter or the little blue bird in jail, so the only way to punish is monetarily,” Sciarrino said.

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, it should be noted that your Wonkette is sympathetic to those commie pinkos in the Occupy movement. It should also be noted that your Wonkette is also pretty fond of the Fourth Amendment. HOWEVER, we are also intrigued by this new precedent wherein we (and by “we” we mean “Incorporated Americans”  just have to give up a little bit of our First Amendment rights (i.e. Speech) if we do not feel like complying with a judge’s order to do something, as well as this revelation that Incorporated Americans are just like people, except minus the part where they can be held accountable for anything, because there are now only three available punishments in American courts of law.


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