FREEDOM ISN'T FREE!  4:13 pm September 11, 2012

A Children’s Treasury Of Your Wonket In Your Nation’s Glorious Capitol

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Where's Waldo?First of all, we tricked you, because we were not wearing a red dress at all! This was so we could laugh at your confusion as you looked around and wondered if we would even bother coming to our own Drinky Thing. (Answer: probably!) Second of all, the Park Service estimated attendance at 40 souls, so we added 15 percent to it, as is Right and Proper.

Please to enjoy some pictures of you, in DC, getting #sloppysloppy. More importantly, did you remember that our Philly Drinky Thing and Meetup is tonight? It is! And New Yawk City, you are on deck for Thursday! (Details still TBD. Good lord we are so tired. Actor and Lizzie, please fight out where we should have it, and then let us know.)

And this is not from our Drinky Thing, obvs, but we cannot resist, as the correct answer is “It costs a buck o’ five.”

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 310 comments }

nounverb911 September 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Rebecca, did you sit on Biden's lap too, also?

horsedreamer_1 September 11, 2012 at 7:04 pm

No. On the face. On. The. Face.

Generation[redacted] September 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Wow. All those sideways pictures. Looks like you spent the entire party passed out on the bar.

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I thought it was me.

Lascauxcaveman September 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm

"I got sideways drunk last night."

If that isn't a thing, it should be.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Tundra Grifter September 11, 2012 at 6:48 pm

"Sideways:" NO Merlot!

Eve8Apples September 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Dean Martin

Mojopo September 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Left-leaning alcoholics – my people!

Sharkey September 11, 2012 at 8:02 pm

The signs on the walls are kind of a dead giveaway, but I'll let it rotate this one time.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm

What's that neck syndrome Dixie Carter shilled for, again? Yeah, someone has that.

IndianaKevin September 12, 2012 at 6:15 am

That's why laptops were invented. And in picture 7, it's obvious she's had enough. She's getting kinda blurry by that point.

slowhansolo September 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Great, now I need a neck brace, and shall be shunned by all right-thinking, non-deformed humans,

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm

At least you'll always be welcome here, among the left-thinking, well you get the idea.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Walk this thway!

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Check out David Cronenberg's movie Crash and you might be disabused of that notion.

Lynne September 11, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I can't even look at sideways pictures. It hurts my eyes.

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

The correct answer on that last picture is "Nice legs!"

I studied for my final exam.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Nice *fucking* legs would also be acceptable

Monsieur_Grumpe September 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I think the proper response is "Great gams!"

iTuna September 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

"I like them getaway sticks!"

Monsieur_Grumpe September 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Or is it "Hubba Hubba"?

Beowoof September 11, 2012 at 5:53 pm

23 Skidoo

mrpuma2u September 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm

*makes tigger-esque throat growly noise*

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 5:35 pm

“I remember when she first walked into my office. She was beautiful, sleek as a cat, long legs sheathed in silky stockings. If I only knew then what I know now…”

horsedreamer_1 September 11, 2012 at 7:05 pm

David Lee Roth: [comes]

rickmaci September 11, 2012 at 7:23 pm

The answer is ZZ Top

"She's got legs, she knows how to use them
She never begs, she knows how to choose them…"

The second verse is better but not for a family web site.

nounverb911 September 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Hey Actor, can we have the NY thingy at the Monkey Bar on 54th St? Please, Please Please.

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Really? The East side?

NYNYNYjr September 11, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Worst place- Upper East Side
2nd Worst- Mid-Town
3rd- South Bronx
4th- Rest of Bronx
5th-Staten Island
6th- East New York/Brownsville
7th- Queens

Anyway, the list goes on, but if we could avoid those…

nounverb911 September 11, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Also, all of Brooklyn, also, too.

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 8:40 am

Clearly you've never been to the Bohemian Hall Beer Garden in Astoria.

JerkCade September 12, 2012 at 10:52 am

Beer Authority would be so very very very convenient for me. Bonus – roof deck.

That is all.

Goonemeritus September 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

The Million Commie march.

HogeyeGrex September 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Well, now I feel drunk from looking at them sideeways pitchures.

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

OK, all you Sideways-Americans, begin identifying yourselves, or we are going to have to go to the facial recognition software.

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I'm in that one picture – the guy who has a beer.

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Oh, in the red shirt. Gotcha.

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm

No. Actually you can't see me very well behind that other guy.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I'm glad you said "guy" because that narrows it down to three or four possibilities.

ColHeightsChic September 11, 2012 at 4:53 pm

AH HAH! It was, indeed, oh-so-lovely to meet you.
One snippet of one of my shoulders is in one of the pictures. It's hot.

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Oh right! I remember having difficulty talking to you because my eyes kept drifting to your hot shoulder.

wsbloodystump September 11, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Damn! I didn't even get a shoulder–just a bit of hair and dress strap!

galinthewhite September 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I don't comment (I'm shy and not terribly witty) but I'm in the white/silver striped shirt with the beer (obvs).

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Next to Editrix? You already have quite the fan club!

galinthewhite September 12, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Yes.

I will try to keep my comments to myself so as not to destroy any notions that I'm as clever as the rest of you.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I'd love to get in touch with lizzie, but I strained my neck looking at the pictures.

Geminisunmars September 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm

At first I read that as "but I strained my cock looking at the pictures." Heaven knows why.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I didn't take my little blue pill today.

What? I'm not proud, I need that to fap.

ManchuCandidate September 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Who's your friend in the White? Call me!

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Gimme the one in green with the glowing eyes….

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm

The one in the blue flowery dress is kind of OK, too.

Kidding! Kidding! Don't banhammer!

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

She is a goddess, and I would worship at her feet, so it went without saying I'd do her like a jackhammer.

I was thinking about dessert.

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I'm sorry, but either you are a far better man that I could ever be or you lie like a rug.

You seriously think that there would be "for afters" when Our Editrix was the main course? I'm thinking that the ER or the ICU are far more likely.

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm

This post is a catalog?!

HogeyeGrex September 11, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I don't see any diamonds…

sbj1964 September 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Remember at the Wonk they only drink to kill the pain,and they only have the pain because they drink.A truly vicious circle.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

As the Great Homer said, "Here's to beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

barto September 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Nor is it dom, for that matter.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Monkey Bar? Hm. A bit pricey, but I'll put it on the short list.

nounverb911 September 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I don't drink much any more, and we are staying upstairs, so it's a short stagger home.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

By "we," does that include Editrix? Because, you know, I wouldn't want her to wander the streets all drunk and stuff.

I suppose I could take her home…

nounverb911 September 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Mrs. Noun might have some objections, but….

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

She can come along!

Oh, wait! You mean you'll be there too?

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I still vote Rudy's even if Philly totally stole my idea of having us invade and annex DL's drinky thing.

Back patio! Cheap beer! Good whisky! Free hot dogs! Multigenerational clientele! Colorful "regulars"!

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm

That's more the kind of place I had in mind, based on the photos I've seen from the other do's, or perhaps Landsdowne Road over on Tenth (same general area, tho)

Thursdays are going to be hard, pre-theatre.

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I am voting against Monkey Bar, FWIW, expensive, East Side and full of annoying people.

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I have never heard of this particular place, but it sounds like it's near where I work, which means I defs can't afford to drink there. (Which is tragic, because there used to be a few happy hour places that weren't Irish pubs, but they all shut down and reopened a month later with new names and basically the same decor only drinks suddenly cost twice as much).

I mean, I live on the East side, even, but I can't really afford to drink there.

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 6:13 pm

It's a beautiful old-style NYC bar, with original fixtures, but so freaking expensive and just too "fabulous" for a Wonkette drinky thing. IMHO

Self-Uploader September 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I live on the West Side so anyplace will be impossible. If not Hell's Kitchen, then why not uptown west someplace?

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Thanks for those. I need to take my muscle relaxer now though.

Fare la Volpe September 11, 2012 at 6:05 pm

No, dude, you take that before the buttsex.

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Major facepalm!

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2012 at 12:47 am

Corporal Punishment!

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Flexeril FTW!

rocktonsam September 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

stiff neck libel!!1!

BloviateMe September 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

…at least they are sideways to the left I guess.

Mumbletypeg September 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Funny… *regards photo #5*.. . I don't remember seeing Demon Sheep on the scene.

OH. Hi Josh!

ChernobylSoup September 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Where did you hide the bodies?

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I like the "demon-possessed-eyes" look on some of the participants there.

Tom September 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Love the flag in the first photo – Rock Chalk Jayhawk

ManchuCandidate September 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Kudos to the editrix' legs.

4TheTurnstiles September 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Next time, try a V8?

sorry I missed this by the way, I was stuck in Ffx with the lights out but still upright

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Hey, I once heard there is a really nice bar in NYC. Why don't you all hold it there?

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I heard that place shut down.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Yea, nobody went there. It was too crowded.

DemmeFatale September 11, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Yogi!!!

NYNYNYjr September 11, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Yogis? Or Village Idiot?

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Tell me if you've heard this one before:

A hipster walks into a bar, says "This bar sucks. It's always full of hipsters."

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 8:42 am

So he walked into an irony bar?

CindynEncinitas September 12, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar*tender here?" Thanks, Uncle Dan.

Blueb4sinrise September 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I would hit all of that.

mrpuma2u September 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Yeah all the wonketeers seem to be lookers, I wouldn't have use the 3 beers standard with any of them, at least those that made editrix's askew photo cut.

Guppy September 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm

With votes!

Er, oh, wait…

iTuna September 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm

*obligatory 'All of them, Katie'*

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Yeah…if I knew there were that many attractive liberal ladies in DC, I might have put down stakes there instead of going back to Ory-Gone. Oh well, my sociamalist state U beat Wisconsin over the weeked…so up yours, Ryan and Walker!

HuddledMass September 12, 2012 at 9:47 am

Finally! I thought we had lost awareness of all our internet traditions ….

BloviateMe September 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I can't quite tell…are we drinking Hefeweizen w/lemon slice, or Blue Moon w/orange slice?

galinthewhite September 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Bandwagon (?) Wheat, I think. I had a few so I can't remember exactly. But they were out of Blue Moon.

Baconzgood September 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Why is everyone so horizontal?

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Alcohol?

kittensdontlie September 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Just as I thought, everyone is extremely level-headed….?

prommie September 11, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I see everything sideways!

commiegirl99 September 11, 2012 at 11:59 pm

That's so weird because I see everything twice.

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 6:22 am

That's the cumulative effect of Drinky Things on the Occipital Lobe. Science.

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Nothing in DC is on the up-and-up.

HogeyeGrex September 11, 2012 at 6:07 pm

If I knew it was gonna be that kind of party I woulda stuck my dick´╗┐ in the mashed potatoes.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

They were so drunk the camera got fucked up by osmosis? No wait…that only happens with weed….

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm

What's with that crazy bird on the French flag in the first photo? Do the French have a Kansas University too?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Calvin was French…and since wingnuts are disproportionately Calvanist, that qualifies, right? We have to give France credit for that one…they hated that asshole SO, SO much they wouldn't let him or his stupid followers come to the new world. So that's something we share…

littlebigdaddy September 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Are these things always sausage fests?

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I guess that's okay, as long as they don't degenerate into orgies. Not that there'd be anything wrong with that, I guess.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Its looking like it.

kittensdontlie September 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm

If the Editrix would start wearing a full burqa, sausage attendence would drop accordingly.

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2012 at 6:01 pm

There appear to be a large number of white people, as well.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 11, 2012 at 6:16 pm

The fact that the Lilly Ledbetter pay bill got through dc is a miracle.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I guess so…maybe one of you should have contacted Vitter to uh, furnish this thing. After all, he knows all the good prostitutes in DC and New Orleans…just don't bring diapers with you or you'll get the "Vitter special".

ColHeightsChic September 11, 2012 at 11:13 pm

EXCUSE ME, SINGLE CHICK OVER HERE!!! I was there. I possess no sausage. I'm just sayin.'

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 6:23 am

Glowing eyes in green?

Lucidamente1 September 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Talk about photographing your national monuments. Hubba, hubba, hubba.

MissusBarry September 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I'm so distraught that I was dogsitting in bumfuckity Herndon and missed all the sideways glory.

finallyhappy September 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Herndon- I have been there twice – in my 40 years in this area and both times, last year to the Counter

UnholyMoses September 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Someone's camera is broken — it only takes sideways pictures.

ChillBill September 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm

*Photos courtesy of Stevie Wonder.

Lucidamente1 September 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I'm beginning to think you post your worst photos on purpose, to humorous ends, as a sort of joke that runs. Do I correctly divine your intent?

prommie September 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I don't know, some of last weeks photos were just beautiiful.

Guppy September 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Are some of you even old enough to drink? Checkered shirt, I'm looking at you!

alot_of_politik September 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Indeed I am old enough! All the cynicism hasn't gone to my face yet.

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 4:49 pm

we cannot resist, as the correct answer is “It costs a buck o’ five.”

Oh, poor Becca! I totally know a guy, he can hook you up for half that.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Freedom, not free dong.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 11, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Market forces in action!

prommie September 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I'm never gonna get to go to one of these fucking things. Here I am 25 miles from the Philly debacle, and I can't go cause Prommie has to work and Prommie has to be fucking responsible and all this fucking intolerable bullshit.

natoslug September 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm

At least you get to be within 25 miles of these fucking things. I am stuck up here in the redwoods, surrounded by granola and pot and banana slugs. And trees. As the sole wonketeer in N. California (no, San Francisco, you are NOT Northern Fucking California!!! You're down there in the middle bits, damn you!) I doubt I'll ever make it closer than 400 miles from one.

emmelemm September 11, 2012 at 5:04 pm

surrounded by granola and pot and banana slugs

Sounds lovely, actually. Banana slugs FTW.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Hey, man, lets get the bannana slugs high! (in college, it was usually the cat).

natoslug September 11, 2012 at 5:13 pm

In college here it was usually the ferrets.

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm

We need a Wonkette Mobile. It shows up weekly and you can drink and peruse the snark. Then check out some snark. And take some snark home.

Watch those overdue charges.

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Prommie, damnit, I'm a lawyer too and I went! If y'all aren't careful, I might disappear and go to another one! LIVE! FUCK RESPONSIBILITY! BI WINNING!

Oh, wait, I was supposed to do the "manic" part after the "depressive" part was over. Fuck. I can't even do bipolar correctly.

Fare la Volpe September 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I said it back at the Detroit meetup and I'll say it again here – we are way too collectively attractive to be internet bloggers. Not a roll out of place, not a pockmark to be seen. Goddamn, Wonketeers, I'd sex you all.

And Rebecca, to answer a previous question, I've been gone for a few weeks experiencing a rotating carousel of new drugs and liqueurs since I fell in with a rough crowd. I regret nothing, and have so far lost only the two brain cells I once had that ever told me the Republicans might be right. Vive le Barry!

prommie September 11, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Well we do have lots of teh gheys, and they are always very attractive.

Guppy September 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm

we are way too collectively attractive to be internet bloggers

Keep in mind you can only speak for the ones brave enough to show up.

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm

You know, I haven't been having so much luck with sobriety and heterosexuality lately. Maybe it's time to make a change.

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I'd at least want to find a way to monetize it though.

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Oh cool, one of my friends went to Burning Man too.

DemmeFatale September 11, 2012 at 6:16 pm

My younger daughter congratulated me on my older daughter surviving her 3rd year at Burning Man.
It sounds like hell on earth to me.
A dried out alkaline lake bed in the desert, no showers, porta-potties sitting in the 110 degree heat.
What's not to love?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 11, 2012 at 6:25 pm

The flamethrowers and muffin cars. And electrified chandeliers 80 feet long. And the 30 foot high alien tripod with mimosas up top. This package includes a real Thunderdome.

starfanglednut September 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

I sooooo want to go. And I'm 49.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

score me some good acid and I'm fucking there…Thunderdome! Thunderdome! question: can we make two people fight to the death while we throw shit at them just to be cheeky? I'm asking in a totally matter-of-fact, innocent way.

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Wait till you see me at the NYC gathering, I arrive on the redeye from LAX tomorrow morning, so I will look like hammered shit, albeit suntanned hammered shit.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 6:52 pm

What is the Redeye these days? It used to be TWA 7 leaving LAX at 11:?? and arriving in LaGuardia at 7:00 am, just in time to catch a cab downtown to work. Boy am I glad I lost that shit years and years ago.

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Leaves LAX at 9.20pm arrives JFK at 5.40am! Brutal.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Not sure I could take it even once a year, let alone half a dozen.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Jesus…a flight like that you could sleep all the way. Last time I flew a long red eye I was so tired I forgot to be afraid of flying and also forgot that I can't sleep in moving vehicles. It was pretty awesome all the way 'round.

wsbloodystump September 11, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I'm so glad you find the backshot of my hair and dress strap fetching!

CrunchyKnee September 11, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Sideways pictures are sideways. Neck injury LIBELZ!!!!!!111!!!one!!!!!!!freedomz!11

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

just lay sideways and it's not so bad. Ahhhh…feel the lazy!

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:57 pm

OK, Noo Yawk drinky thingie types…there's much sympathy (read: Editrix has weighed in) for invading Drinking Liberally that night at Rudy's (9th Ave between 45 & 46, so Noun, you won't be too far from the room.)

Could be fun. I've pissed off enough people in that group to double Rudy's weekly take in one night. What say ye?

prommie September 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Fucking WHEN! Can you come get me? Come on, man, I need a ride!

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Thursday around 7? ish? I'm waiting for Trix to ring me back on teh Tweeter.

Er, where the hell are you? Cuz I have to be in the office until late…basically just before the doings.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Just kidding, because, well, I like to kid. I am in Trenton. During the day, that is, at night I stalk the earth with my army of the undead. That pretty much describes a 50-year old lawyer, right? Undead? Not really alive anymore, but very animated, for a corpse.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm

HOLY CRAP! TRENTON???

You poor…! I mean, wow. I feel pity.

CindynEncinitas September 11, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Anyone got any frequent flier miles? I'm ready to kill me some 5-year associate who's trying to compete with me for the partner's favor. I may be wanted in San Diego County by the time the party rolls around…

SecretMuslin September 11, 2012 at 5:43 pm

If you need to hide out post murderous rage spree I'm just a short drive to the south near Hillcrest… Side note – We need to lobby for a San Diego event because I value my sanity too much to try to drive to LA.

CindynEncinitas September 11, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Yer the best! Hermano!

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I would much rather Rudy's, easier to get to, for me as I will be jet-lagged, fewer poseurs.

Millennial Malaise September 11, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I work right around the corner from there, so I'm totally down for Rudy's. Not only that but they have free hot dogs!

102415 September 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I'm in for Rudy's. Just say what time.

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 8:44 am

Pencil it in for seven. Drinking Liberally starts around 7:30 in the Hofbraugarten outdoor seating area out back, so I'm joping to get a poker game out there before they show up.

Cuz, you know, liquor in front, poker in the back…

102415 September 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Aww, quit yer sweet talkin'.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Wait. I call bullshit on the photos! Editrix is in focus!

glasspusher September 11, 2012 at 6:38 pm

It's happened before, just not very often…

bobbert September 11, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Don't brag.

glasspusher September 11, 2012 at 11:17 pm

It wasn't bragging until you noticed. Thank you.

bobbert September 12, 2012 at 12:58 am

Yer welcome. You still hold the record for the pool table shot, IMO.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I call bullshit. Most of these people do not look nerdy or filthy-minded enough to be wonketeers.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Yea! That too!

I mean, I have to shower?!?!?!?!?!

alot_of_politik September 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I think I speak for all attendees when I say "Thanks?"

Isyaignert September 12, 2012 at 1:20 am

I resemble that remark.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 12, 2012 at 2:15 am

Honestly, for D.C. That's pretty daring. I'm fairly certain you can get pulled over for not wearing a Pea coat in winter.

pigdog2 September 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm

capital, you semiliterate sot.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm

How do you know they weren't in some Senator's office?

fuflans September 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm

i think 40 souls is a very nice number.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Why is there a stupid redneck bumper sticker on that nice black stone wall?

Tundra Grifter September 11, 2012 at 6:51 pm

If Freedom isn't Free how much did we pay for it?

And when President Obama says "You didn't build that" and the right wing nut small business people say "Yes we did, all by ourselves" why do they forget to Honor The Troops? Without them we wouldn't have this.

And, yes, the US Military is Government, too! GI!

CindynEncinitas September 11, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Because Freedom and Murca, Prommie!

Blunderthing September 11, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Great. Now all of you remember to vote. (Do I sound put out and jealous? There ain't gonna be no Mendocino Drinky Thing–I know, there was one in SF, but my mule died).

weejee September 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Regards the last photo, Never Forget.

glasspusher September 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Freedom isn't dumb. Oh wait, it is…

Tundra Grifter September 11, 2012 at 6:53 pm

GP:

That's great!

Here's to the T-Baggers! They put the "dumb" in "Freedom!'

weejee September 11, 2012 at 7:09 pm

"Zactly so TG. Not all the dinos are dead. Their brains, like their beloved Saint Ronnie, may be fossilized but they keep sucking air and, sadly, keep voting.

glasspusher September 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Thanks. I thought it up myself, but I doubt I'm the only one!

BoatOfVelociraptors September 12, 2012 at 2:18 am

With respect to political events in the middle east in terms of oil, I can say with a high degree of certainty that we have not, in fact, forgotten.

DerrickWildcat September 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Ugh, it's them again.

Designer_Rants September 11, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Derrick, how many people do you think would show up for an Omaha drinky thingy? (Never gonna happen, but just wondering how many Wonketeers are in this neck of the woods).

DerrickWildcat September 12, 2012 at 12:46 am

Man, I have no idea. Probably not more than 10 in this whole area. Might be bordering Kansas City territory.

AncienReggie September 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Let me just say on behalf of all of us out here in the hinterlands, The hell with you big city snobs.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Alas, I will not be coming to Philly tonight because I am still suffering from ye Grippe. Please have multiple drinks for me and go Liberty Bell-tipping or something…

owhatever September 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm

When are you coming out to Pegleg, Nebraska? I have to drink alone, except for the pigs and the crowd from the Westboro Baptist Church who stop by on their way to funerals.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Pegleg, Nebreaska? Are dising on Bob Kerrey?

LibertyLover September 11, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I could meet you halfway from Phoenix, AZ and we could have our own drinky thing…. hey! how about Denver?

HistoriCat September 11, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Apparently DerrickWildcat and Designer_Rants are in the Nebraska area (Derrick's comment above).

Poindexter718 September 11, 2012 at 5:40 pm

So was basically Late Night Shots without the Bud Light and Rohipnol?

Tundra Grifter September 11, 2012 at 6:53 pm

And the cute girl sitting on the throne while she chugs a pitcher of sudz?

CindynEncinitas September 11, 2012 at 7:56 pm

I love that girl and what she represents.

Tundra Grifter September 12, 2012 at 11:47 am

"Old School."

I put it in quotes because I refer to the movie.

CindynEncinitas September 12, 2012 at 1:12 pm

OMG.

Designer_Rants September 11, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Wonketeers NEVER go without the Rohypnol (chase the pills with a bottle of Robitussin, and it's a night that only you will forget)

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Framed artwork on the walls? What kind of lowlife dive is that?

rocktonsam September 11, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I know, I had those awful lights in my rec room, in the 80's.At my dad's house

Sharkey September 11, 2012 at 8:09 pm

What drinking establishment lacks 52" flat screens?

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 8:11 pm

All at ear-piercing volume so you can't hear yourself drinking watered-down house scotch.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 11, 2012 at 5:50 pm

NYC on Thurs? I may have to hitch the wagon and come down from the mountains for that. Keep us posted on those developments!

Steverino247 September 11, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Well, let's not forget that the standard was set in Los Angeles, shall we?

gurukalehuru September 11, 2012 at 6:06 pm

A bit disappointing, really. I mean, I love this site, and reading all the witty repartee and brilliant, insightful analyses of the politics of the day, and then I see this and everybody looks so…..normal.

Designer_Rants September 11, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Yeah, from the waist-up. I'm guessing it's a veritable Vestigial Tails Club.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 12, 2012 at 2:30 am

I found a goth club on 14th I think. Do you know how weird it is to walk into a business casual goth club?

MinAgain September 11, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Do you people not have homes?

Fare la Volpe September 11, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Not according to Wells Fargo.

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I used to hang in a bar called The Great Lakes, which the regulars called "Homes," a pun on the old mnemonic trick for remembering the names of the Great Lakes (get it?). A cleverer bunch of drunks you never met, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn they've all died of one chronic liver disease or another, or in horrific car crashes.

Come to think of it, many of the regulars were teachers, which proves Rahm Emanuel is right.

Jesus, I need to be in a bar right now.

taylormattd September 11, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Which one of you is the hottie in the red plaid?

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I think it's someone's teenaged child.

taylormattd September 11, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Well that explains why I think he's hot.

Limeylizzie September 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I have no idea who he is, but he looks mighty young and fresh-faced.

elfgoldsackring September 11, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Wonder if he's interested in an intern position in my, uh, think-tank. ' Cause I could totally hook him up.

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I prefer to keep that a mystery. Sigh.

alot_of_politik September 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I'm red plaid guy? And while I'm flattered that you fancy my youthfulness, I'm taken by the woman in the green next to me. I'll leave it to you, my comrades, to wonder about my actual age.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Was this the evenings entertainment?
Romney and Bain

Redgyal September 11, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Am I the only one who notices what all of the Wonkette events have in common? That's right non of them are in Austin.

MinAgain September 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm

They're not beating a path to Nashville, either, dude.

Redgyal September 11, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Ahem…..Austin is kinda nicer…..right? Just kidding, dude. BTW, I'm a woman not a dude.

An_Outhouse September 11, 2012 at 8:23 pm

i could have sworn your gravatar was a male something.

Redgyal September 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

The Scarlet Ibis is the national bird of Trinidad and Tobago. That is the only reason the picture was chosen. But, I'm still not a dude.

MosesInvests September 11, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Yeah, when's the Austin drinky thing? I want to hoist a glass with the Wonkettariat! Editrix-please keep your liver in shape long enough to get here, k?

DahBoner September 12, 2012 at 11:16 am

That's because you get lost in Austin…

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Yes…I can't even bait them to come to the people's Republic of Oregon and we're practically next door. Not to mention that while Austin is allegedly an oasis of comparative sanity in the wingnut wonderland wasteland of Teh-ass, Portland is by comparison Ecotopia. Portland is an hour from me…so going to the dreary state capitol, Salem or Corvallis (which has lots of good bars, just don't wear green and yellow)…but eh, what am I bitching about? I can't even get shitfaced anymore….

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 6:31 pm

OT: Waah, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was mean on the phone!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/11/karen-ha

Why are women who don't knuckle under such thugs?!

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Yikes, women have knuckles?

glasspusher September 11, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Bitch (noun): a woman a man can't control.

102415 September 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Karen Handel, ruins everything she touches.

glasspusher September 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Needz moar pool pix

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 7:00 pm

OT: It appears that some of the jokes about Biden and his Camaro or Trans Am or whatever may have some basis in reality. Per TPM's quoting of the Pool Report from the Veep's visit to Shanksville:

Somehow he then got into a discussion of racing. “I’m a frustrated —” and then he stopped himself and said he shouldn’t say so in front of the pool but went ahead anyway, “dragster.” As your pool was then ushered away, Vpotus was saying something about the feel of the road.

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/09/biden-

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I can easily imagine Joe clanking tankards in the pits with drags legends Big Daddy Don Garlits and Shirley Muldowney. And isn't Delaware the demolition derby capitol of the world? If not, it should be.

BlueStateLibel September 11, 2012 at 8:05 pm

It's eerie how accurate The Onion has been over the years, re:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-na

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I thought that was awesome the day it was published. Little did I know how completely accurate it would turn out to be.

imissopus September 12, 2012 at 12:45 am

He actually does have some muscle car or other that the Secret Service won't let him drive – a '66 or '67 Corvette, I think. I read it in that New York magazine cover story on him that was out last week.

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2012 at 12:46 am

Yep. And even better, he is a big fan of the Onion's Trans Am story.

Chet Kincaid_ September 12, 2012 at 8:45 am

"As your pool was ushered away, theVpotus said something about 'the feel of a biker babe's leather clad rear as you snack on her ear like a tender niblet of corn.'"

thefrontpage September 11, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Am I drunk today, or on meds, or are all the pictures at this posting sideways? No matter what the content, it's just not that enjoyable looking at pictures sideways on computers on the internets. Straighten out the pictures, please! Also, where are all of the nude photos? And the strip club photos? I remember lots of nudity and strip clubs from the night in D.C.

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I'm not judging or anything, but ahemhttp://www.bettyfordcenter.org/index.php

mrblifil September 11, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Wait the other picture you posted of a DC party had people dressed like assholes. These people are not dressed like assholes at all. WHY WERE THEY EVEN INVITED?

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Recently, the Readers Digest ran a piece about "things bartenders want you to know" (in my day, the Readers Digest insisted that all bartenders were born and bred in hell for the sole purpose of dragging you back down there with them, but hey times change), and one of their tips was "impress your bartender by ordering a gin martini." All the tapsters I know are impressed if I don't vomit on them.

LibertyLover September 11, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Looks like a fun party where everyone got sideways.

Sharkey September 11, 2012 at 8:04 pm

I was told Rebecca only wore red dresses.

.mind.blown.

An_Outhouse September 11, 2012 at 8:10 pm

nice to see becca has more than one dress.

edit. ha! i didn't see sharkey's comment. great minds, man.

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Sorry to see becca wearing anything.

Too soon?

Boojum September 12, 2012 at 6:43 am

Why?

HelmutNewton September 11, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Stiff necks are people too, my friend!

skmind September 11, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Damn, it is hard to fap sideways!

vtxmcrider September 12, 2012 at 12:27 pm

You're not doing it right.

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Gal in the green blouse,
I must be mental,
but all I ask
is please be gentle.

Your eyes are lovely
as well as your rack, see
my head is spinning,
could you call me a taxi?

Word.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Hey…I give y'all credit there are at least 3 doable women in these pics. I won't even imagine what a Breitfart gathering would consist of…colostomy bags, battery plug-in stations and scooter shoots sort of like at a rodeo. With Michelle Malkin desperately trying to get someone to find her attractive AFTER she speaks…

mrblifil September 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Whoever wakes up in the morning next to Atrios is teh WINNER.

commiegirl99 September 11, 2012 at 11:53 pm

hahaha I am in Atrios's house RIGHT NOW. Of course, his bitchen and totally way rad wife presumably has dibs. I'm just here for the bitchen guest suite.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Oh, god. Put this thing into Paint, already, and rotate the pictures. lol If not, this whole blog should be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any.

viennawoods13 September 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm
cadburychalk September 11, 2012 at 11:17 pm

So what DC wonketteers want to make this a regular thing?

JohnnyQuick September 12, 2012 at 11:37 am

I would. What would the regularity be? First saturday of the month?

cadburychalk September 14, 2012 at 8:09 pm

I'm down for first saturday, although the girlfriend works saturday nights so friday might work better

ttommyunger September 11, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Looks like ours 'Trix picked up a pair of Duck Shorts in D. C. (They are cut right up to the Quack). Sorry, couldn't resist…

My_pal_HAL September 11, 2012 at 11:48 pm

All pictures are straight up and down erect on an iPhone. But, Jesus Christ, what's the average age of this group? Wonketeers or Mouseketeers?

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2012 at 12:00 am

Upside: My Chevy Volt article got reddited

Downside: "Are you serious? The article itself links you to an actual article from a respected source that doesn't sound like it's written by a middle schooler, and you link us to the middle schooler article instead?"

"This article is not journalism. It's not even a blog. This is just.. well it's crap. Let's look at some real news sources, yes?"

"It's like an extended facebook post"

I am going to go and look at my PhD diploma and cry a bit now, thanks.

EDIT: yes, I know. How did this moron ever get a PhD….? (*snff*)

Fukui-sanYesOta September 12, 2012 at 12:36 am

Jerome Corsi has a PhD. Just sayin' (are those the most annoying two words on the interweb?)

Pfft. Redditors don't get the Wonkette Tone. So what? Half of them are teenage Libertarian fools anyway.

It was a good article and made its point.

We all still luv ya, Dok Z.

TribecaMike September 12, 2012 at 1:08 am

"Reuters cannot do math." I used to freelance as a translator at Reuters in Times Square, and they can't do simple English no less math. And that was before they bought out or laid off the smart folks.

gurukalehuru September 12, 2012 at 4:44 am

What is this reddit every one is speaking about? I get the feeling that's where the cool kids are hanging out.

DerrickWildcat September 12, 2012 at 7:04 am

I have your back Mr. Dr. Zoom. I challenged them all to a fist fight!

HistoriCat September 12, 2012 at 10:18 am

Screw those assholes.

Sorry, that's all I got.

emmelemm September 12, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I don't even know what Reddit is, nor do I care. But all I can say is, they need to be quiet, because adults are talking.

Dok Z rulez!

zyxomma September 12, 2012 at 12:10 am

Thursday: How about Grassroots Tavern at 20 St. Marks Place between 2nd and 3rd Av.? It's a total dive bar, but $7 pitchers and $1 popcorn, decent jukebox, and it's possible to have a conversation. (And no, I'm not just saying this because it's walking distance from home.)

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 11:57 am

I think Rudy's has been voted in by the majority.
Get there early and help us seize the back yard!

StillGoinGreen September 12, 2012 at 1:41 am

Hey Wonkette – could you do a story about the proposed abortion of our 4th amendment rights that began 11 years ago and continues today? Don't let Yahoo scoop you. Thanks Hopey for continuing the only thing I hate about you… I'll still vote for you… because the alternative is worse.

Mumbletypeg September 12, 2012 at 9:21 am

OT: I remember you!

DerrickWildcat September 12, 2012 at 3:16 am

Say, here's some uplifting news. http://news.yahoo.com/pat-boone-sheriff-joes-ariz

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE!!
(but it shouldn't cost more than 9 bucks)

Fukui-sanYesOta September 12, 2012 at 3:32 am

"prices of entry ranged from $10, for tickets purchased in advance, to $25 if you wanted a "Meet and Greet" with the Maricopa County sheriff"

$25 to knee Sheriff Joe in the nadgers? Money well spent.

Negropolis September 12, 2012 at 8:26 am

OT: Isn't it odd as more and more polls were released showing Obama starting to run away with the election that Bibi pops his head out of his hole to insert himself into our presidential politics in a very unprecendented way to troll on Iran, and then all hell breaks loose in North Africa on the same day?

What Bibi is doing is absolutely disgusting, and his nation should punish him for this bullshit…but they won't.

JohnnyQuick September 12, 2012 at 11:39 am

Motherfucking Mofaz is on it. I know he's fairly weak politically, but his criticism seems pretty tough to me: ruining Israeli/US relationship; who's the worse enemy Bibi, Obama or Iran?

DahBoner September 12, 2012 at 11:18 am

Don't look up 'Sideways' in urban dictionary….

Ms_Redactman September 12, 2012 at 11:24 am

A long time ago, I met my now husband in that dank basement bar! I do not, however, miss their bathrooms.

DahBoner September 12, 2012 at 11:53 am

OT: Romney's firm Bain a bunch of crooks rigging prices in "The Free Market"…
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/09/12/business/doc

vtxmcrider September 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm

"Freedom is not free." But the chick in that pic looks like she is trying awfully hard to give something away. I think I know her from somewhere.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm

If I'm still breathing, there's always room for dessert.

I didn't say dessert would be the same night, did I? I could keep her in cold storage.

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Editrix gave me a kiss right on the face as soon as I introduced myself. Eat your hearts out, motherfuckers.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I didn't realize this was a competition. Of course, I respect our esteemed mommy blogger too much to cast aspersions on how far down her blouse she'll let my hand go.

Fare la Volpe September 11, 2012 at 6:17 pm

I love my wife but oh you kid!

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 8:10 pm

I can't find you in these pictures, but I assure you, you more than made up for it in person.

wsbloodystump September 11, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Why thank you, sir! I'm just sad I missed talking to ColHeightsChic–or did I and I was just too drunk to remember? Man, being Sideways Stories From Wayside School at 32 is rough!

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Ah, now I see you in that pic. That was one hell of a dress.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Chicken inspector!

*Too many Bugs Bunny catoons*

Designer_Rants September 11, 2012 at 10:35 pm

What happened to Chascates? I hope it had nothing to do with my constant Grampa Simpson harping about how I didn't understand teh Wonkville buttons. (yeah, probably not about me…)

ColHeightsChic September 11, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Ah, geeee, you both flatter me so. I wasn't wearing a dress, but I promise you, I had you both swooning.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 12, 2012 at 12:14 am

Ask these guys. Action starts at :50 seconds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FQKZ5KdrBE

BoatOfVelociraptors September 12, 2012 at 12:18 am

The demographics bend towards the people old enough to plan and keep their shit together in the face of desert and crazy people.

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2012 at 12:41 am

I think Boring Man would be more my speed.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 12, 2012 at 2:05 am

Ambience ambulance to the rescue! http://ambamb.tribe.net/photos/b93ae6f5-5818-4a91

Seriously, they had had grilled cheese sandwiches and a massage gurney. While playing Bola: Soup. http://www.amazon.com/Soup-Bola/dp/B00009L56H

Soup and sandwiches. It was awesome.

CindynEncinitas September 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I'll take Drinking Man any day.

DemmeFatale September 12, 2012 at 2:14 am

Well, one of my dogs is named Yogi, and he IS an idiot, so…

Redgyal September 12, 2012 at 6:33 am

Dude, I don't know what you're talking about.

Designer_Rants September 12, 2012 at 7:22 am

Sorry, just assumed all Austin Wonketeers knew each other…

actor212 September 12, 2012 at 8:41 am

We give those to the whores, silly.

gullywompr September 12, 2012 at 11:36 am

It takes skill to flatter two women simultaneously without alienating one or the other, but I'm confident I haz it, so let's try this – I'm afraid in that comment I was referring to the amazing green dress that adorned wsbloodystump's stunning frame. I'm still trying to discern which shoulder snippet in these fuzzy photos belongs to you, but nonetheless I did experience bouts of swooning lightheadedness and weak knees, so I must have been in the vicinity of a hot Chic with no dress. If only there were some way to straighten this whole thing out…

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