knobs

Fox & Friends: How Is Godless Obama Hating Our Lord Jesus Today?

Fox & Friends would like to have a word with President Barack Hussein Obama, about how he (probably) killed Christ (besides how he also did 9/11):

Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson claimed that Obama has “called for a moment of silence, but has not called for the word God. So some people are asking, why is God being left out again?” Later, her colleague Steve Doocy said: “On this most somber of days, get this. Does the President of the United States call on people to pray for those lives lost? No.”

But, hmmmm … is it true? (Spoiler: It is not true.)

Take it away, Godless heathens at Media Matters!

Fox was referring to a presidential proclamation declaring September 11, 2012, to be Patriots Day. […]

Obama called on “God’s grace” and asked people to pray for the lives lost in a separate official proclamation declaring the days between September 7 and September 9 as national days of prayer and remembrance in commemoration of the September 11 terrorist attacks:

Here is some Presidential Proclamation at ya:

On September 11, 2001, in our hour of grief, a Nation came together. No matter where we came from, what God we prayed to, or what race or ethnicity we were, we were united as one American family. This weekend, as we honor the memory of those we have lost, let us summon that spirit once more. Let us renew our sense of common purpose. And let us reaffirm the bond we share as a people: that out of many, we are one.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim Friday, September 7 through Sunday, September 9, 2012, as National Days of Prayer and Remembrance. I ask that the people of the United States honor and remember the victims of September 11, 2001, and their loved ones through prayer, contemplation, memorial services, the visiting of memorials, the ringing of bells, evening candlelight remembrance vigils, and other appropriate ceremonies and activities. I invite people around the world to participate in this commemoration.

They do have a point though: Barack Obama said “God” but he never said “Jesus,” because Barack Obama is the major general of the War on Christmas.

Burn him.

[MediaMatters]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ChernobylSoup

    This is why I don't have any money.

    • eggsacklywright

      Not enough Jaysus in your sole? Well I swan lawsamercy.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Because you won't whore yourself out to a philosophy of indentured servitude?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Fuck me.

    • Halloween Jack

      There you go again, making it all about you.

      P.S. post pics and I might think about it plzkthxbai

  • PuckStopsHere

    I'd pray for the entire cast of Fox and Friends, but there's only so much God can do…

    • bflrtsplk

      They think if they mention God often enough, the Big Being in the Great Beyond will begin paying attention to them, which, of course, has not happened. What is this God thingy anyway?

      • PsycWench

        I got the impression they mention God the same reason that one mention the wrath of the other parent to a teenage child: you actually don't think the parent will do anything but it gives you something to frighten the child with.

        • widestanceromance

          You have nicely summed up the whole concept of religion there.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Geez, I mean, it's not like he's omnipotent or anything…

      • Veritas78

        He doesn't seem to step up when it counts, like when a meteor destroys 3/4 of his most-prized species. To say nothing of the occasional genocide or your run-of-the-mill natural disasters and diseases.

    • chicken_thief

      And they've only been praying for 11 yrs now – wtf did those dead people do that requires 11 yrs of prayer?!!

    • HogeyeGrex

      If there truly were a God, there would be no Fox and Friends.

    • finallyhappy

      People ask me to pray for them or family or friends- because I do attend services regularly(sometimes more than once a week) but at a synagogue so we know I helped Barack Obama kill Jesus.

      • FakaktaSouth

        Oh you should be so glad I didn't know you did that when we met, I have been DYING to get to someone that could talk to the mean and smite-y god for so long. There's a dearth of good Jewish people round my way.

        • finallyhappy

          I will be reading "Pour out thy Wrath Upon the Nations" soon but I will say Fox news instead of Nations.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            "Upon FOX Nation." You don't even need to ruffle your meter!

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          If God does you this service, He may come to you for a favor, some day.

          • pepperpat

            I thought that was the Godfather. Oh now I get it!

          • FakaktaSouth

            God said to Abraham, "kill me a son," Abe said "man, you must be putting me on" God said, "no," Abe said, "what?" God said "you can do what you want, Abe, but the next time you see me coming you better run"

            No better words were ever spoken by a good Jew/Christian/Jew/Christian ever.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            It may be the Devil, or it may be the Lord, but you gotta serve somebody!

          • FakaktaSouth

            Oh speaking of, we're gonna need another Camaro…

          • Steverino247

            I didn't know until today that it was Pontius Pilate all along…

    • hagajim

      I'd pray for them too….but probably not in a way they would like.

    • Pat_Pending

      Would it be appropriate to say that Gretchen Carlson's hair and makeup is god-awful?

    • GeorgiaBurning

      If God paid attention to them there would be a lot of airtime suddenly available, though you might need a new studio

  • SoBeach

    We could all learn a little about not politicizing 9/11 from Fox News.

  • StarsUponThars

    Oh goddam. Not this shit again. In other news, broken record is still broken.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Media Matters: Fox Omits The Facts

    / staggers off in shock, total shock, that Faux Newz missed some little facts

    • kittensdontlie

      The real problem with the President's phrase, " No matter…what God we prayed to", is not enough God—it is too many Gods, for how was he to leave out his favorite god and Mitten's nemesis, Bacchus?!

      • Isyaignert

        Bacchus is my favorite god! I pray to him everynight at 5:00.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    He's musliming all over the place.

    • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Ayn Rand Paul Tard

      Obama muslimed the False Friends!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    How about "God damn Fox News!", Gretchen?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I SAW A PICTURE FROM THE PENTAGON SITE!

    OBAMA BOWED! TO A FOREIGN DIGNINTARY! GOD!

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      On a wingnut FB post, I saw the idiots angrily posting that "Michelle Obama did NOT bow to QEII! She is uppity and will not show respect to a foreign leader." Fuck these morons.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Great! They bow to cruise ships?

        • bobbert

          Or Federal Reserve policies.

          • HistoriCat

            Allah them Katie.

  • Boojum

    I thought Obama had the Navy Seals kill Jesus, with a Velociraptor.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      No comment.

  • Ruhe

    Gretchen I understand. But how does Steve Doocy get away with being so stupid while at the same time being totally unattractive? Sometimes the social economy of Fox world just confuses me.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      He has a penis. See also: Hannity, O'Reilly, and the toad they traded to the Fox Business Channel.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Our Editrix has met Doocy. She can answer this queery.

    • Isyaignert

      And with a name that's too easy to make fun of!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    Fox & Friends: How Is Godless Obama Hating Our Lord Jesus Today?

    i have no idea but i hope it's particularly witty and involves cabbage and a hedgehog.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Dinsdale!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Harry "Snapper" Organs is on the case!

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          'E never nailed my head to the floor!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            But we have film…..

    • HogeyeGrex

      But where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?

    • finallyhappy

      The hedgehog, according to the Bund. 19.28, is created in opposition to the ant that carries off grain, as it says that the hedgehog, every time that it voids urine into an ant's nest, will destroy a thousand ants, (Bund. 19.28; cf. Saddar 57).

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "So some people are asking, why is God being left out again?"

    Because he/she/it doesn't exist?

    • eggsacklywright

      I'll go with she-it.

    • ph7

      Just think – after November 6, Barack can answer questions like this by saying "Because God is bullshit" He won't, but he could if he had the balls. Maybe one day we'll have a President who will…

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Nope, there would be no consequences on his agenda if he said that!

    • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

      As an atheist, I find this constant harping on the Mysterioso Sky God insulting. But no one cares what I think, since I don't have an Imaginary Friend.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        I'm with ya. When you have the same (or similar) imaginary friend that most other people do, it's all smiles and knowing nods. When you don't have an imaginary friend, everyone gets pissed.

        • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

          Or the room just goes silent.

          A room that had included "friends."

          The pursuit of reason often seems a lonely endeavor.

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      You are wrong, my friend. It is fact that Jesus was born 400 years ago in a shitty barn behind Jethro’s Dogfight & Chum Shack in Arkansatucky, Missibama. His unwed virgin teen mom said, “It was God what done gave me the babytimes!” Then everyone rewrote all the schoolbooks to reflect the fact that our nation’s greatest president was in fact Ayn Rand, and it is told in churches from sea to shining sea every Santa Day. If you disagree with this highly-edited and re-re-re-re-re-re-written version of ancient Mesopotamian myth, then you are a communiss. Now return to your stockpiles of ammo and your “Mission Accomplished” banners and the Thomas Kincaid (RIP) prints that comprise your holy spank bank. And Happy 9/11 Day, also!

      • chicken_thief

        That Paul Ryan is so handsome is proof positive that Jeebus was a 'Murkin and loves this country better than all the others. See also too His co-authoring of our Constitushunz. USA!!!!! USA!!!! USA!!!!

      • eggsacklywright

        Nice. Well done. Good job.

      • sewollef

        TM, I was with you all the way, right up until you said, "Mesopotamian".

        You could've just said "brown" and be done with it, but no, you had to be all hi-falutin' with your European-sounding smarts.

        You're probably a messican too, also.

    • anniegetyerfun

      There you go again, using logic.

    • CleverSobriquet

      There you go with your monotheistic prejudices again! THEY are pissed. Of course they are always. They're gods, that's what they do.

  • nounverb911

    Isn't Barry getting ready to go to Shul with Jeebus on Rosh Hashanah?

    • finallyhappy

      Baruch Obamawitz is coming to shul- the whole Muslin thing and his "official" name is just to keep him under the radar. Did he have the first White House Seder?? Does Michele have a cousin who is a rabbi(yes- if you don't know)?

  • slithytoves

    These guys act like God only exists if we create him. Oh well.

  • Boojum

    From now on, all Presidential Proclamations shall begin:

    "In the name of God, Jesus, Yahweh, but definitely not Allah and we aren't sure about that Yahweh character, I do hereby proclaim…."

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      FOX's response would be to complain that Obama has left out the Holy Spirit — "You can't have a trinity with just the Father and the Son!"

      • Ruhe

        The Trinity? That's a little "Roman" for my taste.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Ever notice how 1984 plays off of the trinity? How many gods are there? 1. 2? 3? Yes as many as you want pontiff!

        It goes up to 4 and 5.
        The needle must have risen again, but he did not look at it. The heavy, stern face and the four fingers filled his vision. The fingers stood up before his eyes like pillars, enormous, blurry, and seeming to vibrate, but unmistakably four.

        " How many fingers, Winston ? "

        " Four ! Stop it, stop it ! How can you go on ? Four ! Four ! "

        " How many fingers, Winston ? "

        " Five ! Five ! Five ! "

        " No, Winston, that is no use. You are lying. You still think there are four. How many fingers, please ? "

        " Four ! five ! Four ! Anything you like. Only stop it, stop the pain ! "

    • RadioX

      God God God God God God God God God God Shiny Object God God God God God God God God God God 9/11 God God God God God God God God God God God God God God Shiny Object God God God God God God God God God God 9/11 God God God God God God God God God God God God God God Shiny Object God God God God God God God God God God 9/11 God God God God God God God God God God God God God God Shiny Object God God God God God God God God God God 9/11 God God God God God God God God God God God God God God Shiny Object God God God God God God God God God God 9/11 God God God God

  • FNMA

    So if, as they say, we are created in God's image, does that mean God is a cross-eyed imbecile who goes on TV and says idiotic things?
    Who knew?

  • badseeds

    They don't have the sense to pour piss out of their boots.

    • Boojum

      with instructions written on the heels.

  • mrpuma2u

    So Fuxstix news was out gawded by the gawdless heathen scum at media matters. Not that any of the mouth breathing, hover round driving idiots watching fuxstix will bother to fact check. Ugh.

  • nounverb911

    Fox should be asking how come God hated Bush so much He/She allowed 9/11 to happen.

    • freakishlywrong

      "He kept us safe". Goddammit.

      • JustPixelz

        Statistically, we were not safe on 1 day out of the billion* days he was POTUS. That's mostly safe. Like Romney's plan to cut taxes for trillionaires is mostly stupid.
        _________________________
        * Apparently, he was actually in office 2,922 days (about one for each 9/11 victim). it only seems like 1,000,000,000.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Well, according to the Old Testament, whose authors set the precedent for this kind of crap, The LORD punishes the evildoers in his own time — so that pious king who got killed in battle at Megiddo (I can't remember his name right now and don't feel like looking it up) soon after his coronation, it was punishment for the acts of the previous king who was worldly and made Judea prosperous but ignored the Temple strictures and the Levites who were its priests.

      So anyway, by that logic, 9/11 was The LORD's punishment for Bill Clinton. You know, just like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson said.

      • Chichikovovich

        I think we have a few decades to wait for the Clinton punishment. 9/11 was God's response to Grover Cleveland's illegitimate child. He's a busy man.

  • Baconzgood

    Are these people serious?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "I ask that the people of the United States honor and remember the victims of September 11, 2001, and their loved ones through prayer…"

      Well, Obama did forget to tell us who to pray to. And you just can't let the American People pray to anybody… it's gotta be Jebus, dammit!

  • ttommyunger

    Hah! Busted! I spoke with God personally only this very morning and she told me in no uncertain terms that Doocey and his entire crew should just shut up and fuck off, so there!

    • eggsacklywright

      Damn. She said the same thing to me. Bitch be cheatin' on me.

      • ttommyunger

        She so horney, but sheLove u long time.Sent from my iPhone

        • Steverino247

          God talks to you on your iPhone? You on speed dial or something?

          • ttommyunger

            What do you think the “S” stands for?Sent from my iPhone

  • ChernobylSoup

    God gave Obama a pass since it's an election year. Busy schedule and all.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    If god is as all powerful as the Xtians claim he is then he doesn't need to worry about whether or not a single man (even if he is the most powerful (and interesting?) man on earf) says his name.

    Or this god fella is one insecure asshole getting his minions to force others to call out his name (when not fucking.)

    • jodyleek

      Exactly. And furthermore, why the hell would I pray to a "god" that is all-powerful and would presumably have the power to thwart the 9/11 attacks? Wouldn't I be guilty of murder if I stood by and watched my child being murdered if I had the power to stop it?

      The Santa Claus-like Xtian "God" is a lie that is perpetrated by the powerful for their own benefit.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Beardy men from the sky sorting good from bad on Christmas, and handing out presents is what you tell children to get them to behave. Some people never grow up.

  • Callyson

    Oh, for God's sake…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if it would shut these fuckers up if Obama were to do a little Chauncey Gardner walk across the Reflecting Pool. Nah.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      "Obama can't swim!"

    • Pithaughn

      Oh, is that why the first lady is all "let's get the garden all fine and dandy, all will be well if we let the seasons play out in the garden" ?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Aquaprompters!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    OH GOD!!!!!

    • eggsacklywright

      Locomotive Breath?

    • sewollef

      That's enough of that…. there's atheists in this room. They might hear.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Said the Archbishop to the actress

    • Isyaignert

      I just watched "Oh, God" with George Burns and John Denver. Got it from the library. Good stuff.

  • ph7

    "Does the President of the United States call on people to pray for those lives lost? No.

    Some fundies claim you should only pray for living, not the dead – the dead have already faced their judgment, there is not left to pray for. Mormons, on the other hand, are called upon to pray for the dead. Religion is weird that way – the made up rules can be re-arranged all the time.

    • prommie

      cat-lics believe you can actually pray people out of purgatory sooner.

      • sewollef

        I've been to purgatory, it's not all it's cracked up to be I can tell you.

        But it is preferable to being molested by some clergyperson.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Satan has a nice roux bubbling in a sauce pan for the catlicks and moronis.

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

    I'm assuming it's pronounced "The Wretched and Douchey Hour"?

  • Baconzgood

    Fox News: Your home of the non-issue

  • HarryButtle

    Fox & Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson claimed that Obama has “called for a moment of silence, but has not called for the word God. So some people are asking, why is God being left out again?”

    Because God NEVER RSVP's, and then he shows up anyway and gets drunk and hits on everybody else's wives and then gets all smite-y when anybody tries to take His keys away. Prick.

    • Boojum

      God is your drunk uncle.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        His son is enabler.

        • Boojum

          I guess that makes the role of The Holy Spirit pretty fucking obvious.

      • FNMA

        Don't you know there is no devil, there's just God when he's drunk.

        — Tom Waits

  • calliecallie

    After the actual 9/11 terrorist attack, when George W said the best way the American people could help would be to go out and spend money, that's exactly what I did. Bought two suits at Talbots that very weekend. A Republican colleague and I laughed about this once, because he went out and bought a new car for the same reason. We stood behind the President and honored his request.

    It makes me really angry and sad to think that if – God forbid! – something like September 11 were to happen on Obama's watch, these Fox dicks would totally make it his fault, the Rethuglicans would totally make it his fault, and the public would not respond in the same unified way they did before.

    Fox News and their ilk are ruining this country, IMHO.

    • ChernobylSoup

      A grateful nation thanks you for your sacrifice.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Thank you for your service.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          And thank you for your service in thanking him for thanking her.

    • Preferred Customer

      You know, I also bought a car that weekend, but it was less about patriotic duty and more about retail therapy. I'm not sure it made me feel any better.

    • Isyaignert

      No way could GeeDumb have gotten his war in Iraq without Fux News. In fact, he owes his pResidency to his cousin who was working at Fux during the 2000 election. He is the one who called Florida for GeeDumb and all other news sources followed suit because that's what they do. That became the meme. Bush won FL, but as we now know, he actually did not.

      Just imagine if Gore had fought harder. I know, I know, Lieberman blows it for me too.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Liebermann would have been Quayle in a yarmulke.

      • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

        If Gore had won there wouldn't've been a 9/11 attack. I've been saying this for well nigh eleven years now and the evidence only gets more clear over time.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Let me put this comment in Fox News stylebook: "Some people say" Gretchen Carlson is an idiot. "Some people wonder" if Steve Doocy has a brain.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Remember, you can't spell "God damn those fuckers!" without "God."

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    Wait, I thought God the was who told terrorist to flight those planes into the Twin Towers.

    • hagajim

      The wrong God though.

    • widestanceromance

      That would have been his cousin Allah.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    The U.K. sent its bible thumpers to America and its criminals to Australia.

    Is it too late to trade?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Is there really that much difference?

      • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

        Well, some criminals can be reformed.

    • sewollef

      "Is it too late to trade?"

      All sales are final my friend. No returns, no exchanges, no fucking way.

      NPR had some English clergyman on the wireless Sunday morning complaining that the Church of England has become the butt of jokes and is more like a Monty Python sketch since so few people attend church in the UK.

      It's a thoroughly secular country with an agnostic and an atheist as PM and Deputy PM.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        The Bishop!!
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDnE-5lD7w8

        (The Church Of England as re-imagined by the Nolan Brothers?)

  • Preferred Customer

    I don't know what makes me angrier/sadder/more in need of a good, stiff drink of communion wine: That these idiots engage in a baseless attack of the President on his supposed lack of fealty to their invisible sky king, or that the President feels the need to pander to them by actually engaging in acts of fealty to their invisible sky king.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      You're assuming that Obama doesn't believe, which might be inaccurate.

  • RRoccoco

    Did Comedy Central take over Fox Broadcasting in a leveraged buyout? That's the only explanation I can come up with.

    • CarolinaStewPie

      If only, then that ridiculous station might be worth watching.

    • cromiller

      You've just reminded me of the one-two powerhouse that was That's My Bush and Lil' Bush.

      • eggsacklywright

        "Ow, my bush!"

    • HogeyeGrex

      Oh, God.
      If only.

      Can you imagine the reaction to John Stewart anchoring the evening news?

    • FNMA

      I keep telling y'all that Fox and Friends is satire and is actually a show on the Onion News Network.

  • PinkoPopulist

    At some point it has to stop becoming news that the comedy-variety hour Fox & Friends is blatantly lying to its lobotomized viewers, who undoubtedly lap it up with the enthusiasm of a mutt who has spent the last 24 hours staggering through the desert.

    • aintmisbehaven

      Sigh! This shit is getting old. If god is who they say he is then why are these dipshits still talking? Shouldn't they be smitted or something?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    These obnoxious, biddying god-fetishizing witless jackdawing monkeyfucking acephalic spoiled worthless myopic treacherous contrarian fartsucking puddingheaded harpies need to start visiting fuckin' reality once in a fucking while and stop pissing on every fucking thing that doesn't serve their hideous wrinkled greedheaded fucking overlord without thinking about it. Motherfuckers.

    • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

      That was truly beautiful (sniff!)

      • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

        Thank you — the surfeit of piety that pervades 9/11 (at my workplace no less) gets my bile up to the point where I'm in danger of taking it out on some poor undeserving shlub who's at the wrong place at the wrong time. So this was a great opportunity to blow some of that off so I don't become a danger to others.

        • sewollef

          Tangentially, I'd recommend, http://www.fuckthesouth.com for an oldie but a goodie.

          Annotated Rant is his moniker and he — like you today Wookie — swears like a sailor.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I feel somewhat the same way as you.

      • ChernobylSoup

        See, I would have gone with knobgobbing instead of puddingheaded.

    • CarolinaStewPie

      Weedlord BonerHitler would like to subscribe to your newsletter, good sir.

    • FNMA

      You left out "Gypsy dildo punks."
      (Thank you, Harry Dean.)

    • DCBloom

      Read that aloud to hubby…. we gave you a standing O as we wiped away the tears. Hammie is right, that was beautiful

    • elviouslyqueer

      You had me at "contrarian fartsucking puddingheaded harpies."

      Well played, Wooks. Well played indeed.

    • Gleem McShineys

      YES YES YES OHHHHHHH GOD!!!!

  • gullywompr

    Thank God we won't have to put up with Fox anymore after Obama is re-elected.

  • magic_titty

    You know when some people just look stupid? These two.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I can haz separation of church and state nao?

    • Gleem McShineys

      MORE separation? What, it's not enough for the FOX Nation to be completely and utterly separated from reality? That Doocy's left brain half is completely and utterly separated from the right half?

      What's next, you want there to be some kind of separation between the Republican party and FOX News? Sheesh, some people…

  • anniegetyerfun

    Jesus Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

    • MadBrahms

      These are the same disingenuous cockwaffles who accuse Obama of using Osama's death for "political purposes". Ugh. To follow up "this most somber of days" with "get this, here's a chance to score some points", yeah, you called it.

    • Steverino247

      Pretty harsh assessment of the Apostles!

    • bikerlaureate

      They pull down nice paychecks for their bald-faced lies. Subsequent events don't matter. Motivations don't matter.

      Give me guileless assholes over these tools any day of the week.

    • Gleem McShineys

      Was that a prayer? Because it sure looks like it was answered.

      Just like that POOF they are assholes, and always have been.

    • a_pink_poodle

      Thank you for including God C:

  • freakishlywrong

    Anyone else tired of the miserable wallowing we do on 9/11? Instead actually giving a shit about the first responders by ensuring they get healthcare, we sit around and compete who can say God more while counting how many prayers for the victims there are. Move on, Ameriduh.

    • MadBrahms

      Our fixation also has the effect of further diverting attention from / interest in the thousands of people killed or disappeared in the name of "justice". Self-pity justifying self-righteousness, rinse, repeat every year.

      The first responders healthcare thing remains a puzzle to me. Not only is it actually right, it's also the sort of thing that one would think would make a good photo op. I don't get it.

      • freakishlywrong

        A comedian with a fake news show had to shame the (R-assholes) in congress to pass that thing. They were fully on board to let them just perish. And then whinge about the victims.

    • JustPixelz

      Two people who worked for my (large) company were killed on 9/11. I didn't work here then, but it still strikes close to home. They were on-site with a customer in an office and killed. I don't want to forget that or move on.

      I am tired of the sanctimony, hypocrisy and — particularly — how Republicans wave the bloody shirt to say Democrats will stand by and watch terrorists carry out their plots. Above all we should remember we are Americans who value freedoms at the expense of our safety. How else to explain 15-20,000 gun deaths each year, bail, search warrants, 75MPH speed limits.

      • freakishlywrong

        I lived there, Pixels, it's not the people I'm talking about, it's the cynical opportunism of the you know whos that I can't abide.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Make that 85.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “called for a moment of silence, but has not called for the word God."

    Was he supposed to say "I call for the word God?" This makes even less sense than most of Faux's bullshit.

  • CarolinaStewPie

    I want to hear more about this amazing guy who resides on Planet Kolob. When will Steve and Gretchen talk about him?

  • Dildeaux

    Dont know why I bother, but pastors call for prayers. Imams call for prayers. Presdents, not so much.

    And fuck you doocy.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Did Gretchen happen to call out God's name when she was being banged to get her job?

    • chicken_thief

      Frantically, but no one heard because the sound was blocked by the cock pounding down her throat.

    • hagajim

      She probably said Jesus….mmmmmph mmmphhh

    • FNMA

      Hard to do with a full mouth. Oh wait. That was Doocy….

    • prommie

      Hard to yell anything out when you are gargling that much splooge.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I dunno…does "Oh, RUPERT!" count?

      • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

        More likely "Oh, Mr. Ailes!!"

        Rupe's busy w/ his Chinese bride, whom he married so he can achieve further (market) penetration in China.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    I'm sure these asshats were just as outraged when the GOP blocked funding for the first responders.

    Oh, wait…

  • TootsStansbury

    Garbage goes in garbage comes out. Who can explain it?

    • freakishlywrong

      Not the cross-eyed sycophants on Fux n' Fiends!

  • delaney_blom

    Media Matters falls right into Fox & Friends' trap:

    September 7 was Friday. Do you know who prays on Friday? (I'll give you three guesses among the major monothestic traditions)

    Not to mention that any decent person knows that the entity-who-should-not-be-named-for-fear-of-burning-in-hell-for-blasphemy only accepts prayers for the dead on the anniversary (on the Gregorian calendar, tyvm) of their death/mortal wounding.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Doesn't the, War on Christmas just seem to come earlier every year?

  • Lucidamente1

    Once you've had your picture taken with our Editrix, all you can think is "Oh god, oh god, oh god, ooooooh."

    http://wonkette.com/482276/tampa-rnc-day-deux-we-

  • mavenmaven

    They should be asking God why he didn't at least catch the poor jumpers, or stop the planes in the first place.

    • Zombie_Reagan

      Yup. I was going to post something very similar.

    • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

      Because America deserved it: Whores, homos, lesbian witches & abortions!!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I only just now watched the vid, because TRANSCRIPT !! But wondering whether the third idiot was out sick or had a knot in his shoelace or something. And lo and behold!!! There at :38 , our hero!! Staring grimly at the dust bunny on the floor. Wondering what's for lunch…..Sammiches?

  • chicken_thief

    Fox News will not let fact checkers dictate the content of their news.

  • hagajim

    So here's what Hopey needs to do – issue a proclamation that says the following: I BHO, being empowered, proclaim today to be God, Jesus, God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus,God, Jesus day. Amen.

  • whatever_dc

    has anyone even wondered where god was during the attacks? what — out taking a dump? sheesh!

  • barto

    Why was God left out again? Is this in reference to maybe God having stepped out for a smoke or something during that whole 9/11 mess? Just curious.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Remember when the Obama administration accused Fox News of being a wholly owned subsidiary of the Republican Party, or the other way around, and the people at Fox said they would be fair to the Obama administration, etc? And, they were?

    Me neither.

  • JustPixelz

    The questions is, of course: What would Dubya do? Fortunately, thanks to the google machine and Little Green Footballs, the answer is "not mention God or prayer" in almost all of his 9/11 Proclamations.

    • LibertyLover

      Aw darn… hate it when there is a video record.

  • lowaltflier

    Jesus H. fucking Christ. WTF. Sometimes the good old days actually were good.

    We establish no religion in this country. We command no worship. We mandate no belief, nor will we ever. Church and state are and must remain separate. -Ronald Reagan, 40th US President (1911-2004)

  • keepwalkin

    How about having the Rev Jeremiah Wright, in a Dashiki, give the invocation at Obama's 2nd Inauguration?!

    Goddamn Fox and Friends and God Bless the USA………BABY!

  • Eve8Apples

    I'll believe there is a God when God burns the Fox & Friends studio to the ground. Until then, the Fox & Friends crew can go fuck themselves.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Wow, this is a first! The FOX friends are mouthing the words they were ordered to say, but their demeanor says they think this is too low even for FOX.

    Does anybody think of that crummy '70s limited animation crapfest "Super Friends" when they hear "FOX and Friends", also?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      This is the only thing I think of when you mention that cartoon show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8H1bg65TaM

      • proudgrampa

        WASSUP???

    • HarryButtle

      Wonder Twin powers…ACTIVATE!

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

        Form of: A Right-Wing Partisan Political Activist Masquarading as a Journalist!

        (this is totally legit because Right-wing Partisan Political Activists are a type of animal)

  • BlueStateLibel

    It's OK, Mitt Romney and the Mormon Church are busy converting all those lost on 9/11 to Mormonism.

  • An_Outhouse

    GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS GOD DAMN FAUX and FIENDS

    enough God for you?

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee? And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?' And the King will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'

    So what part of "community service" don't these motherfuckers understand?

    • PubOption

      That looks like some of the liberal sentiment that Andrew Schlafly wants to take out of the bible.

  • proudgrampa

    I, for one, am SHOCKED, SHOCKED, I tell you, that no mention is made of the Flying Spaghetti Monster today. I just know that a dish of pasta with a sauce of your choice (I prefer red),and a nice crisp sacramental chianti would be a fine tribute to those who were senselessly slaughtered 11 years ago today.

    So fuck you, Steve Douchey, or whatever the fuck your name is.

  • infpwriter

    What level of ignorance does a person have to aspire to for a place on the Fox "News" Channel?

  • Generation[redacted]

    Doesn't the Constitution say something about there being no religious test for being President?

    Your God or your Constitution. We report, you decide.

    • proudgrampa

      You know, Gen, this is the precise idea that has always puzzled me about American politics. Supposedly, our country was founded on religious freedom and tolerance and freedom FROM religion.

      So instead of moving toward the future (where is my air car?) we continue to slide back to some Crusader era where the topic of the day always seems to be "My god is better than your god."

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know who else didn't mention God today?

    Osama bin Laden.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Nasty!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The flying spaghetti monster thinks these guys should just chill the fuck out.

    • proudgrampa

      Ramen.

      May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

  • TootsStansbury

    Someone left The Lord out in the rain…something something…and I'll never have the recipe agaiiiiiin OH NOES!!!!!!

  • prommie

    The word "true," it means something different to them. Even when pressed on things like this and confronted with direct refutation, they will insist that what they said while "technically" inaccurate, is nevertheless an accurate statement because it refllects some kind of symbolic truth that they honestly believe. Obama may have said the words, but he cannot have been sincere, they will say, because his "otherness" (they will say Kenyan anti-colonialist community organizer socialist, but they mean "niggerhood") simply makes it impossible to believe in and revere God the way they do. In other words, if he denies he's a witch, that proves he's a witch. Niggers, oops, I mean witches, are tricky that way.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Man I hate that word. But I am waiting for the day, surely to come soon (as they say) when ol Gretch or the douche just stands up and yells it repeatedly, madly, until they drag them off set.

      • prommie

        I am sorry, but I insist on translating their deliberately deceitful language. Its what they all have to hold back, thats for sure. One of them will just fucking lose it and go off like Michael Richards, except it won't just be the worst fucking joke ever, it will be the honest expression of the hate I tend to think Richards was referencing, and not actually feeling.

  • comrad_darkness

    God let 9/11 happen. God lets Fox News continue to exist. Why in the hell would anyone thank God for these things?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    This comment was deleted by the user on account of someone funnier got there first.

  • comrad_darkness

    Prayer goes in, nothing comes out. You can't explain it.

  • DahBoner

    For a minute, I thought Retchin Carlson was a "rug".

    What with the way she's lying…

  • prommie

    You know, its really just faith-based reasoning, faith-based reporting. In their minds, things are not established or proven by objective facts and logical inferences drawn from objective facts. They believe that they can establish a proposition through BELIEFS that they hold. They cannot distinguish between objective fact and subjective belief (many narcissists I have known seem to have this difficulty, they are so self-centered that they cannot even conceive that any person could believe anything different, that all disagreement is per se the result of ignorance or mendacity). And they really do not understand the concept of a logical operator, or even of a formal syllogism. They take facts and link them with vague connectors which really just express their doctrine, emotions and beliefs, and yet they think these conclusions to be irrefutable. I am using a lot of big words, I guess, when what I mean is they are fucking stupid.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "Faith-based reporting." Gotta save that one for later!

      • HistoriCat

        Faith-based economics
        Faith-based intelligence

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Well, I found the antidote to their utter nonsense — this actually moved me. David Kurtz at TPM commented on Joe Biden's speech today in Shanksville PA and posted the transcript as well. Check it out if you'd like to see no nonsense, just reverence and respect and dignity. You might want to get yourself a little privacy first.

    • HistoriCat

      Where did all this dust and pollen come from?

      • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

        It's ragweed season. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Why does God hate Gretchen so much that she is sandwiched between Douchey and … Douchey on steroids?

  • DocChaos

    The job of Fox & Friends every morning is to set the bar for intellectual discourse so low that the rest of the day's line up seems brilliant in comparison.

  • TribecaMike

    Albums You Won't Find In Mitt's Record Collection #3: http://www.ponderosastomp.com/blog/wp-content/upl

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    a presidential proclamation declaring September 11, 2012, to be Patriots Day…a separate official proclamation declaring the days between September 7 and September 9 as national days of prayer and remembrance in commemoration of the September 11 terrorist attacks

    really? do we need all this? is this evil of me to ask?

  • tracyhasfun

    This is the kind of bullshit that sucks the oxygen right outta the room. The methane is dizzying and now I have a headache.

    Cue trolls–bet yahoo is on FIRE.

  • Chichikovovich

    Let's be charitable here. Fox just wants people to be reminded so that they can pray to God during important times. And who knows when an important time might be? This is a diverse society, and we need to respect the wishes of those who believe in God. I think the government should immediately provide funding and secure land for the construction of religious houses of worship that will openly call people to prayer. Loudly and regularly. Like maybe five times a day.

    And they should build one close to the WTC site too. That will make the Fox people happy, and really, what's the harm?

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

    http://www.regretsy.com/2012/09/11/3rd-annual-mot

    This. You snarky communiss bastards will appreciate. Why do you all hate America?

  • One_who_wanders

    Speaking of Fox and being wrong – I just posted this over in Wonkville
    Fox News (Mis)Informs Us That the ‘Real Unemployment Rate’ Has Nearly Doubled Under Obama http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/09/fox-news-mis

  • LibrarianX

    How's this: Dear GOD, why are these people such relentless and colossal fucking idiots?

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Jesus, I'm sick of this crap….

  • ahnc

    Shouldn't Fox & Fiends blame God for not showing up on 9-11?

  • TribecaMike

    Feel free, Farts & Frauds, to come on down from mid-town to my local bar in downtown Manhattan. My fellow patrons, many of them cops, firefighters and other union members would love to make your acquaintance. BYOA*

    *Bring Your Own Ambulance.

  • trobc

    Such mendacious tools.

  • Isyaignert

    Haters gonna hate.

  • Smithboy

    How many times have we heard from sinless Christian lunatics (cough) Pat Robertson or Huckabee over at FOX NEWS that God allowed 9-11 to take place because this country allows homos to have sex with one another and that we don't pray enough? To which God responded….leave me out of this.

  • DesertTed

    Why would anyone pray for the lives lost? Those people have been dead for 11 years! Hope about we pray for the living for a change?