JESUS THESE PEOPLE  3:32 pm September 11, 2012

Wingnuts Furious: Obama Hugged A White Guy

by Doktor Zoom

Scott Van Duzer, the charming beefy pizzeria owner who gave President Barack Obama a big ol’ bear hug the other day, says that he has been targeted for retribution by angry Republicans who are boycotting his Fort Pierce, Florida, restaurant. He was also the target of a brief war on Yelp, between negative and positive reviews, most of which came, of course, from “reviewers” who have probably never even been to Florida for chrissakes and what is WITH people anyway?

Van Duzer, a Republican who voted for Obama in 2008, rode his bicycle over 1000 miles from Florida to Washington DC earlier this year to raise money for a charity he founded to promote blood donations in St. Lucie County, Florida. Obama scheduled the campaign visit in part because of Van Duzer’s civic-mindedness. The president-hugging pizza man says that, in the wake of his moment on Youtube,

“People are saying a lot of bad things and boycotting my restaurant…There’s no middle line anymore, and that’s exactly what’s wrong with our country right now.”

The possible boycott of a guy who hugged a filthy leftist follows in the wake of momentary business surges for a cupcake-selling guy who refused a campaign visit from Joe Biden and an asshole baker lady who proudly told the Poors that their filthy food stamps are not good enough to purchase her fancy cakes. Oh, and there was something about the deep-seated desire of wingnuts to show support for homophobic deep-fried chicken sandwiches, too.

We are planning to start a Facebook petition in support of Scott Van Duzer. That should set everything right.

Update: PayPal linky for the Van Duzer foundation. Also, “Presidident”? How did we miss that? Fixed!

[Politico / New York Daily News]

 

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{ 222 comments }

Mojopo September 11, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Count me in – this poor guy is getting hammered on Yelp.

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm

The liberals, who p0wn Yelp, have stepped up and given him approximately 7 million positive reviews.

Mojopo September 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I see that now – very pleased! Last night it was ugly. Thanks, Internet, for being less evil.

sullivanst September 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Although, the backlash has kicked in – now showing a five star average on almost 3,000 reviews, apparently only 2 of which predate the wingnut freakout.

SecretMuslin September 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

We should order pizzas from this guy's shop and have them sent to the nearest Obama phone banks.

Geminisunmars September 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm

That's a really great idea. I was initially thinking of ordering some and having them delivered, but they'd probably get cold by the time they got to Denver.

Doktor Zoom September 12, 2012 at 12:03 am

Just don't try that with an iPhone. I hear they're really hard to dial.

sbj1964 September 11, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Now that's what you call Bromance!

Kid_Charlemagne September 11, 2012 at 3:35 pm

A wingnut told me his pizza sales help to fund the Red Brigades.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I think you misheard "he sells pizzas with fun breadsticks"

Cleopatriot September 11, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I did not know you could get pizza in Florida. Must be all those elderly New Yorkers that retire there.

Goonemeritus September 11, 2012 at 3:37 pm

It’s only fair, I stopped eating in Saudi Arabia after their King kissed G.W.

Dimitrios_M September 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Funny, had to stop eating for a while around then, too.

Texan_Bulldog September 11, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Dude got hugged by a black guy. He better check for his wallet.

ChillBill September 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I bet Barry paid with food stamps…and left no tip.

Texan_Bulldog September 11, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I bet he also asked for 'motherf*ckin' iced tea'.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Or, dude hugged a black guy. Probably had a record.

sbj1964 September 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I think Obama got to 2nd base?

OneDollarJuana September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Or, dude got hugged by a big, white guy. Now he smells like gunpowder and sweat.

tessiee September 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm

And his bicycle.

horsedreamer_1 September 11, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Like an Albanian stealing Liam Neeson's daughter George W. Bush's watch?

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Man, the right wing sucks.

There's the problem in a nutshell. When liberals have a problem with a company or a person, we just boycott them but we don't go and savage them (at least not most of us). We just nobly stay away.

These assholes, noooooooooooooooooo, that's not good enough! They have to grind him under shoe like he's a cockroach!

Well, all I can say is, what goes around comes around and the next time it comes around, it will be you being ground underfoot.

With votes. And I mean that literally.

Let's take all fifty states back

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 11, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Do we have to take all fifty states back? Couldn't we give a few to Mexico?

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Hey now! Bereft of Republicans, Texas could actually be pretty nice! At least the parts around Austin, Houston and maybe bits of Dallas.

Besides, we need a national garbage dump.

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm

After Julian Castro's speech at the convention last week, I am going to shun you for leaving out San Antonio from your list.

*shun*

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I'm not that familiar with Texas to know if he might be an outlier in SA. My apologies.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Yay! I'm going to San Antonio next month on vacation and will compliment the citizens on their fine mayor.

MissNancyPriss September 11, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Can Austin be the garbage dump?

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Also, I think you mean all 57 states. too.

Generation[redacted] September 11, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Not without my teleprompterz!

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 4:09 pm

"Let's take all fifty states back"

Rmoney's bringing it home for us.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:14 pm

*best Montgomery Burns voice*

Exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcellent!

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 7:02 pm

'kna! I'm in. Fired up and ready to go!

An_Outhouse September 11, 2012 at 7:58 pm

if you don't have the right countertops, then shut your trap in public.

ChernobylSoup September 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Good lord. The guy removed aborted fetus toppings from the menu. What else do these people want?

Boojum September 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm

He did WHAT? Oh man, those were the best!

UnholyMoses September 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm

But he left the halal embryos, so there's that …

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:00 pm

So the pies now come with Legitimate Broccoli Rape?

HistoriCat September 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm

With a nice big Rape Lemons into Lemonade.

OneDollarJuana September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Babs Bush left her jar at the restaurant, huh?

kittensdontlie September 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Oh, I thought those were anchovies….

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

My god, that bowling ball! It's my WIFE!!!

Kid_Charlemagne September 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm

It's rumored that Obama told him to put arugula on his pies.

littlebigdaddy September 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I love arugula on pizza! But that's because I'm a filthy hippie.

Kid_Charlemagne September 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Agreed. Very common topping in Italy. But, considering conservatives ridicule anything that is more exotic than iceberg lettuce, you are, in fact, an effete, chardonnay-swigging communist.

tessiee September 11, 2012 at 5:14 pm

it's funny because actual Italians eat arugula.

Geminisunmars September 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Well, they are all commies too, you know.

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2012 at 3:38 pm

That guy is so adorable. See? There are Republicans who aren't filled with hatred and vitriol. Remember when that was common-ish?

sullivanst September 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Yeah, pretty sure the President was white at the time.

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

No.

OneDollarJuana September 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

That would have been Eisenhower, a Teddy Roosevelt sort of Republican. Thought of the country first instead of his rich buddies. Probably being written out of Texas textbooks right now.

Crank_Tango September 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Just goes to show that us libtards are the angry ones, or something.

kittensdontlie September 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

He is a saint and a true patriot.

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm

You're damn right he's a commonish!!1!1

HistoriCat September 11, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I think the last Republican politicians not filled with hatred and vitriol retired or were primaried in 1994.

PsycWench September 11, 2012 at 5:16 pm

My dad used to be like that. Now he's an Obama-hating wing nut. It makes me really sad, actually.

comrad_darkness September 11, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I hear ya brother.

MissNancyPriss September 11, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Is it a Fox New thing? Asking for research.

PsycWench September 12, 2012 at 10:52 am

Partly Fox and partly because he has these rightwing friends and relatives on Facebook that do a great job providing the false consensus effect.

AncienReggie September 11, 2012 at 6:30 pm

The first person I ever heard actually use lugubrious in a sentence was a Republican. He was a great guy and a good friend who had read Wodehouse in his youth, used to take me sailing … but yeah, a Republican. Back then they weren't all either crazy as peach orchard boars or greedy rich bastards protecting their own. Of course, Tom's dead now, but not as dead as the Rockefeller Republicans.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Yep…well, I've only been alive since the Raygun years and was a teenager when Newt and his gang of dickhead stooges took over so I've known such Republicans in my private life but have rarely seen them as elected officials. I have read about the dreaded Northeastern liberal Republicans who helped pass the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act and helped Nixon pass the EPA, Affirmative Action, etc. I know LaGuardia was a VERY liberal Republican who absolutely loved the New Deal. This bunch we have now all hail from what was a sliver of lunatics like the Hunts that Eisenhower once derided as "their numbers are negligible and they are stupid"…then the New Right came along…and now we have these prancing jackasses…

finallyhappy September 12, 2012 at 7:43 am

Only alive since the Raygun years and I was already a federal employee when his administration did a witchhunt on projects at my agency. We somehow couldn't find a lot of the files they were looking for(pre-computer and huge storage rooms and the people doing the witch hunt were pretty stupid.

SexySmurf September 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"Hey, where are the white men at?"

MacRaith September 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm

You could have just stopped the headline at "Wingnuts Furious: Obama". What excuse they're giving for their fury today is immaterial.

RedStatePinko September 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Or just "Wingnuts Furious." The Obama is implied.

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm

You might get away with merely "wingnuts" at this point. All they can do is have cardiac events over this shit, anyway.

SpeedoFart September 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Remember kids: It's patriotic to hate on them poorz and leftists. Hugging a Democrat is downright seditious!

sullivanst September 11, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Fuck those nation-dividing commie bastards! The country should be united… in hating all Democrats and also all Republicans who ever say nice things about Democrats!

Mojopo September 11, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I upfisted SpeedoFart, for the name!

SpeedoFart September 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Awe, thanks! *luv!*

LibertyLover September 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Dang… who do I report my spouse to? Spouse insists on hugging me…

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 11, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Sharing AIR with a Democrat is treason! Besides, what's with this "sharing" anyway, you some kinna commonist? Ghey? Aborted fetus evolutionist? Huh?

By the way, that name is awesome…I have a sneaking suspicion it's related to Chris Christy visiting the jersey shore…but that's hilarious.

ChillBill September 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Scott, how many of those trolls will ever get to hug a President? Exactly.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I seriously doubt I would have hugged W, except maybe to choke the life out of him like an anaconda.

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm

You have those thoughts too?

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm

There's something about the noise an eyeball makes when it pops out of the skull and leaves a hole perfect for fucking…

Steverino247 September 11, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Pop goes the weasel?

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 11:51 pm

If you don't add "with votes" the Enn Ess Ehh is gonna' get you.

slowhansolo September 11, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Deviation from the program, in the form of signs of common humanity, will not be tolerated.

ChrisM2011 September 11, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Conservatives really do have goldfish brains. Weren't they JUST whining about this type a behavior a mere MONTH ago during their Chick-Fil-A rapture?

skmind September 11, 2012 at 3:41 pm

That's what a second term looks like bitches, compulsory interracial gay marriages for everyone!

SexySmurf September 11, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Van Duzer, a Republican who voted for Obama in 2008, rode his bicycle over 1000 miles from Florida to Washington DC earlier this year to raise money for a charity he founded to promote blood donations in St. Lucie County, Florida.

Do you think we can get Wingnuts to start boycotting blood transfusions?

sullivanst September 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm

They're suckers for Biblical snake-oil salesmen, so there's a chance they could all be converted to Jehovah's Witnesses. That'd do the trick.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:48 pm

It's not like they have blood to begin with, the bloodless bastards.

OKthennext September 11, 2012 at 11:10 pm

You get a really bad reaction from GOP-positive blood.

kissawookiee September 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm

See how easily Mr. Pizza swept him off the ground? Clearly: Kenyan, Communist, and light in the loafers.

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Giggle.

mavenmaven September 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I fear a "stand your ground" resolution to this story, on grounds of contact miscegnation.

SoBeach September 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Even the republicans I know realize that the right has completely Lost Its Shit.

Some may disagree, but I think the solution is merciless ridicule. These people aren't going to change their minds. Best we can do is make it so normal people don't want to be associated with them in any way.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"…merciless ridicule." Sounds fun and man, oh man, do they ever make it easy!

eaglewon September 12, 2012 at 12:23 am

it'll be self destruction. When you put out that high degree of hate and racism, it comes back to you, seasoned and much more deadly. But their too stupid to understand that. Blinded by rage.

Baconzgood September 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm

And if the left would have done this fox would be going ape.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I just threw the guy's foundation a few bucks, and not just because of the uproar. There's always a need for blood.

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I popped him 50.

UW8316154 September 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

If I get a linkie, I'll do the same…(hint hint)

Ah – looks like Doktor Zoom just took care of business….

Blunderthing September 11, 2012 at 3:43 pm

White people get angry when you hug their whiteness too hard. Or too deep. Or too soul achingly sweet. Or too…whew…is it hot in here?

IndianaKevin September 12, 2012 at 8:14 am

It is now, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

MinAgain September 11, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Is there an address on that charity website? 'Cause I feel like writing someone a check and putting "Have you hugged a president today?" on the memo line.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

As a matter of fact, yes. There is

Doktor Zoom September 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Pay Pal donations

Snail Mail address

UW8316154 September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Would you please put this up at the end of the story? I gave the guy some money, and think it woudl be awesome if people here showed our support by doing what we can – even if it's just $5 of something.

Doktor Zoom September 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Sure, why not! It's linked in the text, but no harm adding it at the end.

MinAgain September 11, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Thanks for the info. I sent them a couple of bucks. I would have given blood in his honor, but I just donated over the Labor Day weekend at D*C.

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Between this and the "Michelle's dress" foofaraw last week, I think the Republicans just sewed this election up.

DemmeFatale September 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Fuckin' Florida!
Hey, Arizona! Are you going to let wingnuts in the nation's dingle-dangle out crazy you?

sbj1964 September 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Where was the Secret Service rounding up hookers?

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

The owner did ask the SS first. I was anxious for the Pres as I thought it might startle him.

ETA: I was wrong.

OneDollarJuana September 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm

In Colombia.

tessiee September 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm

OK, not to be TOO much of a grammar nazi, but if you mean:
"Where was the Secret Service? Rounding up hookers?"
Then the answer is, Probably.
If you mean:
"Where was the Secret Service rounding up hookers?"
Then you should probably ask them that.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 11:54 pm

WIN

Like Lionel Hutz on the Simpsons: "No money down!" "No, money down."

horsedreamer_1 September 11, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Del Boca Vista. 'Cause they need to one up Orin Incandenza.

crybabyboehner September 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm

This guy hugged a black person, AND he rode his bike a long way, so there's no telling what he puts on his pies.

starfanglednut September 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Maybe he's part of that UN conspiracy to take over the world via bike sharing programs.
http://www.denverpost.com/election2010/ci_1567389

fitley September 11, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Think how the ambiance will change not having tweakers as customers any more.

coolhandnuke September 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm

"There’s no middle line anymore, and that’s exactly what’s wrong with our country right now.”

The middle line you refer to Mr. Pizza Man, has moved and been pushed so drastically to the right in the past thirty years, and that is what's wrong in this country.

clblabin September 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Who will stand up and defend the honor of America's huge white dudes from this latest assault?

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 3:46 pm

"Obama Hugged A White Guy"

Guess Obama should have just got DiGiorno.

Blueb4sinrise September 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I propose sending money to Wonkette Drinky Thing to honor this brave patriot.

Lazy Media September 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Pizza man there is a total RINO, like all Republicans who don't deserve to be shot out of a cannon into a manure pond.

sullivanst September 11, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Shouldn't that be "into a vast lagoon of pig feces"?

UnholyMoses September 11, 2012 at 3:48 pm

ALTERNATE HEADLINE:

"Moderate Republican hugs other moderate Republican. Batshit crazy Republicans go batshit crazy."

PhilippePetain September 11, 2012 at 3:48 pm

The idea of that beefy dude riding a bike is pretty funny. I hope it was a BMX.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Guy's about my size. I ride.

It looks like he got bikes donated by Felt Bikes. They make some awesome road bikes. I'd be surprised if one of the US bike makers hasn't been in touch with him by now to give him some American lovin'

starfanglednut September 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Guys that size always completely smoke me on the bike path. Which is not that hard to do, but you get the idea.

An_Outhouse September 11, 2012 at 5:26 pm

by smoke you, you mean ride really fast and leave you in their dust?

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 11:57 pm

That's what she said.

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

OK, now if you don't show up be-muscled in beefcake photos at the NYC Drinky, we shall all haz a dissapoint!

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 8:42 pm

You are 6'6"? Are you going to try out for Harvey in the next revival?

John Birf Society September 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm

http://thevanduzerfoundation.org/

Support this good guy and his good foundation.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I just sent a donation. This guy can't be a Republican; he has a heart.

LibertyLover September 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I suppose that we need to hide the white womenz now…

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Of course, with a name like Big Apple and its New York connotations, I'm sure that most Republicans wouldn't set foot in there anyway.

GunToting[Redacted] September 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm

They would today. If it weren't for NYC, we couldn't have Wingnut Christmas.

TootsStansbury September 11, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Between the God squads and the Goon squads I think it is safe to say the terrists won. Happy 9/11 everyone!

SmutBoffin September 11, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Hey, where is Newell?

b[redact]opple September 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I thought he said he was going to quit. Last week, on the twitterz.

But shouldn't there be "an important announcement regarding your Wokette?"

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Maybe he tried to keep up with Trix at the conventions and checked into rehab?

horsedreamer_1 September 11, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Writing for Grantland? Meaning, Jim likes his Cali based editors to be big boobs, not have big boobs?

CapnFatback September 11, 2012 at 8:07 pm
fauxcault September 12, 2012 at 12:48 am

Yeah, and notice he's changed the description to "Ex Gawker/Wonkette, current Guardian/Salon/Grantland contributor." I've been hoping for an explanation for why he's left, myself. Because I'm hopelessly naive about Wonkette's behind-the-scenes goings-on, I can't tell how much of the Rebecca-was-on-acid stuff to take at all seriously (the whole "Jim is probably going to quit because of how we left him all day yesterday and then ran out of battery and never checked in and were just on acid all night like a fucking hippie 17-year-old girl…" from the "Dave Weigel is a Crazy Bitch" post); and thus I don't know if Jim's tweets are just playing along with that narrative (e.g. "I'm still sad that Gary Johnson wasn't able to borrow Wonkette's convention pass last night from the editor on acid whose phone was dead") or if there was indeed some sort of falling out between them. I'm guessing it's all for fun and there's no actual drama there, but it'd be nice to know what the story is then.

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I love that the first photo on the Yelp page is of the owner hugging the prez. Excellent.

Dr_Zoidberg September 11, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I hate people.

RedneckMuslin September 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I could be so stinking mad right now if I knew what Yelp was/is.

OneDollarJuana September 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

It's a user-feedback site. Seems pretty good for finding motels and diners. I use it for trip planning. It's also entertaining to read the long-winded reviews from prissy, self-involved whiners who will spend half an hour writing a scathing screed against some very good diner because they saw a fly in the parking lot.

Jus_Wonderin September 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

In my defense, it was one huge, motherfuckin' fly.

Steverino247 September 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

HELP ME!

OneYieldRegular September 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm

You really don't want to know. It's where people go to complain subconsciously about their botched first dates and their miserably petty lives by blaming everything on a waiter who forget to bring them water or a plate of Kung Pao Chicken that didn't have enough peanuts.

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Stay ignorant. It is better that way.

ProgressiveInga September 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Hey, I found an Afghan restaurant in MD on Yelp last night and it was delicious. And full of Afghani's. Suck it, wingnuts!

True story.

Knightro829 September 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Seems like a genuinely decent human being. Donate to his foundation.

randcoolcatdaddy September 11, 2012 at 3:55 pm

The Rightwing Nuts are just mad at him because he's trying to get people to donate blood, rather than sell it and let the free market sort it out.

mrblifil September 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Blood transfusion libel!

Kid_Charlemagne September 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm

That cuts into Dick Cheney's supply.

Doktor Zoom September 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Dude, he's not collecting newborn kittens.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Or spill it for fun and profit. Fukkers.

Tequila Mockingbird September 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

If Romney had been picked up, he would have claimed he had levitated all by himself.

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Nah, he'd have been all "Oh no, a plebeian!! Smithers, get it off me!"

OldWhiteLies September 11, 2012 at 3:57 pm

One wonders if there has been, over the last few years, a mathematically and clinically demonstrable increase in exhaustion deaths resulting from overindulgence in [faux] outrage among a certain US demographic. Seems likely.

One wonders if it can further be demonstrated that this overindulgence in said [faux] outrage has indeed thus hastened said US demographic's worst fear of becoming a minority in said US.

One sees a true irony. One smiles. This one actually looks forward to aforementioned minority status – especially if above posit proves correct. Tee hee, also.

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm

You're saying that faux outrage causes erectile dysfunction in white men?

OldWhiteLies September 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm

One also hopes! (Or should it be, One hopes, also ?)

SayItWithWookies September 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Well it's nice to see that so many wingnuts took time out from their busy schedule of creating jobs to trash a small independent businessman who does valuable charity work. Because hey — if you don't believe everything the crazies do, your good deeds, entrepreneurial spirit and patriotism are clearly an empty sham.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm

That's the weird thing about this.

Apart from hugging the Prez, the guy could easily fit in with any number of evangelical fundie nutbags: he raised funds for a local ministry, Tim Tebow (!) endorses him, he seems to be the type to go to church every Sunday and twice on Christmas.

Like I said, fit in with any fundie nutbag, except he gets it and realizes life isn't about hating people, it's about doing the right thing with your neighbors and community.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 11, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Yeah, well "doing the right thing" is now the wrong thing with these fucktards. They want their TV, radio, books, magazines, schools and "news" — and now their pizza — to be 100% rightwing fundie bullshit.

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Goes to show that in the fevered 'Tard mind, the blahness of the Presidents skin trumps all of their other bullshit

Doktor Zoom September 11, 2012 at 5:59 pm

You can't get to heaven through good works. Just faith.

(I have GOT to stop spending so much time in that homeschool textbook)

Blueb4sinrise September 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

OT Misplaced fundi action on misplaced fundi action.

U.S. Embassy Cairo. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-19562

Fukui-sanYesOta September 11, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I was just about to post something similar.

Also, too, the US consulate in Benghazi
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-19562692

And whose film is it?

Friend of the site, Pastor Terry Jones, the threaten-to-burn-a-Koran lunatic

"he film that sparked the protest is said to have been produced by US pastor Terry Jones "

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 12:47 am

The Salafists can out-crazy Jones by a country mile… they're the nutjobs who've been vandalizing cemeteries in Libya, because all monuments are heresy. I say we match 'em up with Jones' crew and the Westboro Baptist cretins, four at a time, in a steel cage match. Last one standing moves on to the next round.
Even split 50-50 with Al Jazeera, the pay-per-view ought to be worth a fortune.

Hammiepants September 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I can't even with these goatblowing assclowns.

An_Outhouse September 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm

you can't even what?

Doktor Zoom September 11, 2012 at 6:05 pm
An_Outhouse September 11, 2012 at 8:02 pm

i learn something new on the intertubes every day. thank you for being patient with me.

Hammiepants September 11, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Sometimes the depth of their perfidy confounds even my rapier wit.

mrblifil September 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Mmm…pie.

DerrickWildcat September 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

People ain't no good.

tessiee September 11, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Pizza is good, though.

DahBoner September 11, 2012 at 4:11 pm

So, you need a job, right?–Unemployed Pizza Slut

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:14 pm

He hugged a guy? I don't see what's the big deal.

—Katy Perry

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Sorry, my cognizance is dissonating right now, because someone resembling that stereotype is supposed to be polishing his assault rifles to get his country back, not power-bro-hugging that damned Kenyan!

Guppy September 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Yeah, I'm not sure how to process a man with a neck like that saying such things.

GeorgiaBurning September 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Takes the edge off the snark, but it sort of makes my day.

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 5:55 pm

It's OK, he's lulling the Blah Soshulist into a false sense of security, so some other big white patriot can gettim later

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Look out, Batman, it's Bane! He's going to break your back!!

carlgt1 September 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I guess they're also refusing to give blood donations since this is Scott's big cause and why Obama stopped by for the visit? Of course, donating anything sounds "communist" to these clowns….

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Giving blood away is just plain unamercian, dammit. That shit's worth money.

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Maybe Republican pizza-joint guy thought the black guy was Herman Cain.

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 5:56 pm

He must have really wanted a job…..

rocktonsam September 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Can I get a pizza delivered to Wisconsin?

This guy is awesome!

Thurman Munster IV September 11, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Use Ian's in Madison. They fed thousands of lefties during the anti Walker rallies in '011. Folks from Egypt ordered pizzas for us.

rocktonsam September 11, 2012 at 6:52 pm

will do!

Guppy September 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

There’s no middle line anymore, and that’s exactly what’s wrong with our country right now.

Yeah… still not shopping at Target, Best Buy or Staples.

Self-Uploader September 11, 2012 at 4:49 pm

$20 to the foundation and I'm feeling downright smug.

Warwhatgoodfor September 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I can't even imagine the response from the right wing wankers if the white guy had hugged Michelle instead. Well, actually I can, but it's hard to find good hemp these days.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 12:50 am

Or if Bamz had hugged this guy's wife? Good thing some hemp products are hard to find!

Steverino247 September 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I am fortunate in that most of my Republican friends are like this guy. They know I'm an atheist, vote Democratic, etc., but they're reasonable people who respect that I have a different point of view. They're also the same guys who called me within 30 minutes of Sarah Palin being named as VP candidate, asking "Tell me about Obama." They're out there, guys. They really are.

fuflans September 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm

wow thanks for that. good reminder that they're not all the trolls on the interwebs.

Geminisunmars September 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm

So, what did they say about Ryan?

Steverino247 September 11, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Something along the lines of

"What the fuck are they thinking?"

"I really want to vote Republican, but there's none running."

"I could have voted for Huntsman, but then the crazies took over."

It amuses me deeply (which I take GREAT pains to conceal) when they blast their own party's candidates as being un-electable extremists incapable of putting the needs of the country first over some insane ideology.

Geminisunmars September 11, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Well maybe someday, when the nutbaggers are fizzled out (please please be soon) they might be able to return to some sort of functionality. But until Rove, Cheney, and Norquist are dead and buried (with votes, presumably) this isn't likely to happen. I hope the sane ones will vote for Bamz, or at least just stay home.

mosaickmind September 11, 2012 at 5:11 pm

They can't eclipse the idiots distaste for white on black affection! They shall protest!

Biel_ze_Bubba September 11, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Pizza man needs dough? I sent in a batch.
What he really needs is local publicity, so all the communist/socialist/muslin/sane people in town know where to go for pizza.

smitallica September 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Short version: The wingnuts know they're gonna lose to the black guy they hate—AGAIN—and it's driving them fucking INSANE.

Geminisunmars September 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Close. Insaner.

Dashboard Buddha September 11, 2012 at 7:36 pm

It will be fun to watch their heads explode this November, eh? Unless they really go off the rails and hurt someone..in which case they should be hunted down* like dogs.

*with votes of course.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 12:52 am

If they hurt someone, we don't use votes.

owhatever September 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm

See what happens? See! Ole Bubba tried to warn you, but noooo, you won't listen. We will secede from the Union and take God with us.

anniegetyerfun September 11, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I wish I could donate blood, but the blood people are always, like "Oh, noes, you have teh diabeetus, go away."

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I'm a mad cow risk, so the only way I can give blood is by being mugged.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Obama says, "Tallest white guy I ever saw."

Come here a minute September 11, 2012 at 6:29 pm

It would be great if there was a way for Obama supporters to help this guy, but unfortunately he doesn't sell chicken sandwiches.

glamourdammerung September 11, 2012 at 6:34 pm

So the fastest way to anger teabaggers is to simply be a decent person?

That sure is telling.

mrchokeys September 11, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I have to admit that the republicans are making Obama look good. It's almost as if someone wants them to. It's still a one party state, and the core neocon agenda advances without regard to which "party" is in power. The nature of the political arguments have taken on the sad quality of slaves debating which overseer will be more generous with the food rations, and more sparing with the whip.

Gleem McShineys September 11, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Yeah, no wonder the Republicans are calling him a fake. Every Republican knows hoverrounds can't go 1000 miles.

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Mark my words, those companies hawking "free" Hoverounds on TV are going to bankrupt Medicaid. But maybe then we'll go back to riding mastodons like our grandparents did.

Woodshedding September 11, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Thanks for the update. I sent him $10 which is a lot for po' retired-with-no-income moi.

Now I have to cross my fingers that Paypal doesn't do a wikileaks and decide to freeze his funds.

As a child, it was clear to me that a lot of kids were dumb. I didn't hate them, it was just an obvious fact. In my teen years I became aware that it was prejudicial to voice that, though, so I tried to be more tolerant.

Now I DO hate them. Especially today (9/11). The problem isn't the 1%, it's the 80+% who believe the 1%.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 7:25 pm

A lot of people are still fighting the Civil War (what an oxymoron) because they won't accept that the South lost or the fact that there's a blah man in the White House.

TribecaMike September 11, 2012 at 7:30 pm

2008 — Joe the phony plumber

2012 — Scott Van Duzer, good neighbor

TootsStansbury September 11, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I am mailing munniez to nice bear hug man's foundation. Thanks Wonket.

Elizabeth Warren too.

Waving my silly librul money wand tonight. Every little bit helps said the fly who pissed in the ocean.

iburl September 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Oh no, you Presidident.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Obama Hugged a White Guy

Is this like that time Peggy saw a Mexican?

ttommyunger September 11, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Had to have been scripted, otherwise the SS would have no doubt lit that dude up when he made a play for the POTUS. Great photo op and story regardless. More, please. ps: can you imagine the look of horror on Mittens face if a big dude ever grabbed him in a bear hug?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 12, 2012 at 12:57 am

I cannot wait to see what national publicity, plus this guy's winning personality, plus the asshattery of the wingnutz, does for his foundation. Absolutely the best outcome would be him thanking the nutters for bringing him a shitload of money. And selling a shitload of pizza, too, also.

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