SHINY SHINY BO BINEY BANANA FANA FO FINEY  10:10 am September 11, 2012

Romney Campaign: The Entire Rest Of The World Is A ‘Shiny Object’

by Jesse Taylor

stop looking at syria, that's disgustingFor the first time since FDR used his polio-ridden legs to kick the Germans and Japanese in their fascist asses (the Italians, too, but nobody really cares about them when we talk World War II), Democrats have an advantage on foreign policy. This is problematic for the Romney campaign, because a Democrat is in office, and they are Republicans, and they would like to not talk about foreign policy at all.

How better to deal with this issue of two wars, various bombings, global economic uncertainty and all the rest than to just dismiss it out of hand? (Protip: there is no better way, try it the next time you cheat on your spouse. Totes effective.)

“It doesn’t surprise me that they’re raising foreign policy because it’s another distraction from the Administration’s terrible economic record,” [Romney foreign policy advisor Robert] O’Brien told BuzzFeed. “They’re going from one shiny object to the next.”

Hahahaha, the entire country of Afghanistan is a shiny object! I’m sure that is comforting to all the people who live there and still deal with random roadside bombs. Shiny roadside bombs.

Of course, the Romney campaign cannot leave foreign policy as a stupid thing people talk about to distract from Romney’s winning message, no! Romney himself is a foreign policy guru.

And, he cautioned not to underestimate Romney’s foreign policy credentials.

“The Governor is an extraordinarily well-traveled businessman, he lived overseas as a young man, he speaks French, he understands the world and he’s written extensively about foreign policy and national security,” he continued. “The idea that he’s this naive guy at 65 years old, given his experience heading the Olympic Winter Games and everything else, I just don’t think that’s going to play.”

Mitt Romney speaks French! He lived overseas over four decades ago! He headed a competition of expensive winter sports in a picturesque spot for rich people! (DID YOU KNOW: Mitt Romney did not kill a single foreigner during the 2002 Olympic Games? That is infinitely fewer foreigners than NOBAMA.)

Mitt Romney will be the president the Bush campaign said John Kerry would be. Except better, because he enjoys his cheesesteak with gruyere.

[Buzzfeed]

 
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{ 177 comments }

Dr_Zoidberg September 11, 2012 at 10:12 am

Rmoney will buy all the shiny objects in the world.

eggsacklywright September 11, 2012 at 10:47 am

He is like the crow in this regard. Or is it blackbirds that like the shiny?

doloras September 11, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Magpies.

Lascauxcaveman September 11, 2012 at 11:16 am

Shiny objects are people too, my friend.

(I don't even know what that means.)

natoslug September 11, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Shiny happy people are people too, mon frere.

Designer_Rants September 11, 2012 at 10:14 am

OT: But conservaturd trolls are attacking that nice young man who picked up the president.
http://gma.yahoo.com/pizza-man-bear-hugs-obama-st

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

What a shock.

Meanwhile, the guy's charity has been getting gangbuster donations.

Texan_Bulldog September 11, 2012 at 10:23 am

Yes, there are times when the DailyKos folks get a wee bit overexcited & wet themselves but they definitely have their hearts in the right places when it comes to stuff like this. They had a diary up yesterday with all the info on how to donate to this guy's charity.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:24 am

If only there were more like him.

People, I mean, not necessarily Republicans.

One_who_wanders September 11, 2012 at 10:15 am

Wait, is Sarah Palin running his campaign?

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 10:45 am

Someone check to see if the word 'shiny' is written on her hand.

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 10:54 am

It says "shitty" – a reminder to wash her hands after using the crapper

zumpie September 11, 2012 at 11:08 am

Weeeelllll, Munster's certainly seeming to resemble her more and more every day. Except less fun and charisma-free (but with a just as badly dressed family)

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 10:15 am

The time I spent in Afghanistan was none too shiny.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:18 am

Maybe if you had blown all the desert dust off it.

One_who_wanders September 11, 2012 at 11:35 am

It's dust all the way down.

Thunderclees September 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Not sure if Firefly reference?

johnnyzhivago September 11, 2012 at 10:15 am

The only thing the President needs to know about foreigners is who do we bomb first.

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 10:55 am

WWWB? – Who Would W Bomb?

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

"he’s written extensively about foreign policy and national security,”

Your move, Henry Kissinger.

Terry September 11, 2012 at 10:21 am

I suspect his extensive writings on foreign policy and national security are just as insightful and on target as his op-ed urging that the auto companies be allowed to just go bankrupt.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 10:31 am

He wanted Detroit to go bankrupt so bain could buy it for a fraction of it's worth and ship it off to China after firing everyone and gutting their pension. USA!USA!

Lot_49 September 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

How does Evil War Dwarf Henry K get along w/Romney's tribe of neocon refugees? Not so well, one thinks. The neocons wrote elaborate bullshit op-eds before bombing, whereas Hank just kept it secret. These are profound policy differences.

Plus: China.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

And, he cautioned not to underestimate Romney’s foreign policy credentials.

London calling and he lives by the river.

no_gravity September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

Mitzy's foreign policy – offend the locals and blame the Soviet Union.

gullywompr September 11, 2012 at 11:32 am

This.

Terry September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

The Governor lived in France, but not in the way most young people do. He was in a highly controlled group and spent his time annoying French people about converting to his religion.

It would have done him a world of good to take off that tie and drink some wine, eat great food, and try to woo French women instead of going door to door.

chicken_thief September 11, 2012 at 10:28 am

Given his driving record over there, it was tough to woo the ladies into the back seat.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

I'm pretty sure that's why they only ride bicycles now.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

Too bad Mormonism doesn't have the equivalent of Rumspringa. I have a feeling there'd be far fewer of them!

Lascauxcaveman September 11, 2012 at 11:23 am

All religions should have that "automatic out" clause built into them. A great social safety valve – the freedom of choice.

You don't hear about a lot of Amish terrorists blowing up public buildings, do you now?

Biff September 11, 2012 at 11:36 am

Amish drive-bys are hilarious, too:Clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clopbam!bam!bam!Clop-clop, clop-clop…

Bezoar September 11, 2012 at 1:44 pm

An Amish drive-by apparently consists of thrown tomatos. (Tomatoes? Who knows?)

rickmaci September 11, 2012 at 11:18 am

The facts surrounding WIllard Romney's driving negligence on a French highway leading to the death of his passenger Leola Anderson in 1968 have been covered up, first to protect the presidential campaign of George Romney and now to protect the campaign of his son.

Bezoar September 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm

You know, I think you may be right about that, sounds plausible, but can you point to any corroboration? That would be nice.

rickmaci September 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Texan_Bulldog September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

Seriously, 'heading the Olympic games' that were held in the middle of UT qualifies as foreign policy experience? I do believe he's outdone 'I can see Russia from my front porch'.

l l l l l (These are straws that Team Romney is grasping.)

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 10:22 am

Hey, the Olympic Village is a small world after all.

Texan_Bulldog September 11, 2012 at 10:27 am

Did Mittens provide 100K condoms like they did in England?

Lot_49 September 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

And so much fucking going on there among the steroid-fueled over-privileged Youngs. That had to make Mitt uncomfortable.

HistoriCat September 11, 2012 at 12:09 pm

You and your damn ear-worm!

ph7 September 11, 2012 at 10:31 am

Mitt saw Russian gymnasts in tight leotards from Utah.

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 10:56 am

He saw some camel toe and was suddenly a Middle East expert

RadioX September 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

It's even more foreign when you've got a $1.5 billion government supplied slush fund to work with.

OKthennext September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

Prezident Obammer can do more than one thing at a time.

johnnyzhivago September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

Romney's not some naive executive who would go to a foreign country and publicly offer condescending and insulting management consulting style critiques of their government or give away the names of their secret intelligence agencies.

JoeHoya September 11, 2012 at 10:17 am

Everything he knows about foreign policy he learned while watching skiing in Utah.

sbj1964 September 11, 2012 at 10:18 am

Mitt is a Cylon drone that can be reprogrammed to say whatever his rich friends want him to.

MacRaith September 11, 2012 at 10:33 am

And Cylons are shiny objects. It all makes sense now.

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 10:18 am

Mitt's laundry list of things not to talk about is so long. The only real thing that government is responsible for is saying untrue snide things that make no difference. We need roads and schools and to deal with other people on the planet and stuff? Please with your hopey changey bullshit. How IS that working out for you?

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 10:26 am

Mitt has a laundry list of things to not talk about which includes his laundry. What symbolic prayer was embroidered on Ann's wedding night cover ups?

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 10:30 am

Speaking of laundry and Italians, that picture with dead Mussolini hanging upside down thing looked pretty effective. I kind of get how one could get to that point sometimes.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 11:02 am

Sometimes when I am listening to Tom Morello I think it really could happen, even a small group could succeed. The number of the really powerful oilgarchs isn't all that huge. Targeting just a few would have a gigantic ripple effect in the fear it would produce in the others. Tipping points are a real thing.

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 11:07 am

Particularly in a country with the desperation levels we have now realized. Achieving a sense of actually doing something to help yourself is a REALPOWERFUL thing. I wish there was gonna be more to do when I start following Tom from UnionTown to UnionTown besides just sing real loud and read what his next guitar says. I feel all fighty again.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 11:20 am

I think it was Revelation 22:12–"behold, I am coming soon."

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 10:19 am

Again with the Olympics.
Let's get one thing straight (or a couple if I have enough commas); he 'saved' an event no-one in authority was trying to cancel, faced with addressing massive bribery charges against Utah government officials he hid his investigations and destroyed his papers within weeks after the games were over, he procured hundreds of million dollars from the federal government to close the gap created by bad planning and dubious spending oversight and he chose the dumbest looking mascot in all Olympic history.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:28 am

This is so true: he saved an event that no one would have let fail, simply because the logistics of moving the games someplace else on such short notice would have overwhelmed the costs of salvaging those games by a geometric factor, plus the hit to national esteem…"You mean they couldn't even put on a simple Olympics? A Winter one, no less?"…would have been fairly substantial. You could have put Lancelot Link in charge of those Games (Or W) and they would have muddled by.

Lot_49 September 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

And this varies from Republican SOPs in what way?

hagajim September 11, 2012 at 10:52 am

That description makes me feel that Mittens would be a preznit in the Raygun mold….cut the fuck out of the social system, cut the fuck out of taxes and overspend on blowing shit up – and still never balance a fucking budget. Oh, wait, I forgot that's the GOP playbook for the past 30 plus years.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 11:23 am

Olympics: too big to fail.

kittensdontlie September 11, 2012 at 10:23 am

"Mitt Romney did not kill a single foreigner during the 2002 Olympic Games"

In this dangerous world, does America need a pacifist in the White House?

freakishlywrong September 11, 2012 at 10:24 am

he lived overseas as a young man,
Avoiding serving in the Viet Nam war. It's called "draft dodging".

chicken_thief September 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

TED NUGENT LIBELZ!!!!!!

Chichikovovich September 11, 2012 at 10:33 am

Growing up in Canada, I met many young American men getting similar foreign policy experience.

Fare la Volpe September 11, 2012 at 10:40 am

So all those times I snuck up to Canada to score cheap drugs qualified me to be president too?

Chichikovovich September 11, 2012 at 11:01 am

Sure thing. And all the gays that took a vacation in Toronto to get married? Totally Commander-in-Chief material.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 11:29 am

I went to British Columbia to visit family a couple of times during the Kennedy administration. I went to a Fleet Week kind of event and was allowed to board a Soviet submarine. I was impressed with the security employed–sheets of cardboard covering up sensitive electronics. The sailors were all polite and spoke at least a little English, and were eager to speak with me because I lived in San Francisco, go Giants! At 10 years old, I remember wondering what all the Cold War bullshit was all about…

Lascauxcaveman September 11, 2012 at 11:44 am

How is you're not president yet? You could see Russia from inside one of its own submarines!

Franknflower September 11, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Did you see the video with the gay Veitnam vet? Mitt pointed out that he was surving his church in France while the vet was serving his country in Vietnam. Bicycling the French countryside is totally equivalent to getting shot at in the jungles of Vietnam.

deanbooth September 11, 2012 at 10:24 am

at 65 years old

…would be the third oldest president ever. That didn't work out so well last time.

Chichikovovich September 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

That could be a good campaign slogan: "Mitt Romney: Because he won't show obvious signs of Alzheimer's until midway through a second term"

Come here a minute September 11, 2012 at 10:24 am

Romney campaign, please keep reminding us that Mitt has reached the nominal retirement age. For the next teevee ad, put him on a porch in a rocking chair.

starfanglednut September 11, 2012 at 10:28 am

Fucker will probably collect social security and medicare too.

Texan_Bulldog September 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

I would love to see a moderator ask him about that in a debate–although I know they'd be more likely to ask him if he's seen any UFOs lately.

Gratuitous World September 11, 2012 at 10:25 am

if obama went on some weird French mission, I'm sure the GOP would never mention it.

Chichikovovich September 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

Especially not if he avoided serving in a war (that others were conscripted to fight) by doing so.

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 10:39 am

And we know the GOP is really picky about this kind of thing, because Bush Administration.

comrad_darkness September 11, 2012 at 10:40 am

Especially if while on said mission he fell into a coma and woke up "a different person".

Yeah, I'm sure they'd never mention it.

eggsacklywright September 11, 2012 at 10:53 am

Regarding foreign policy, Mitt would adopt the missionary position.

chicken_thief September 11, 2012 at 10:25 am

"…he speaks French…"

That'll shore up the base of slobbering repugtards, you fucking moran.

gurukalehuru September 11, 2012 at 11:41 am

Unless he's really fucking stupid (which is a possibility), he noticed what happened to Huntsman. He won't be speaking any French until after November, that's for sure.

starfanglednut September 11, 2012 at 10:26 am

"You may not discuss anything relevant to my ability to perform the job of president. I will fix everything, but I won't tell you how until I'm elected. Vote for me, commoners!"

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:29 am

"Always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom"

Zombie_Reagan September 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm

"Vote for me, you people"

Fixed.

SigDeFlyinMonky September 11, 2012 at 10:26 am

GOP – Not Up To The Task. They deal in images not facts. Their operations system is a codified social pathology. Their actions are best described as delusional paranoid schizophrenic. Sick, very sick.

ChillBill September 11, 2012 at 10:28 am

Putin: "Mitt, go fuck yourself"
Mitt:
"How dare you! I led the Winter Olympics! Apologize now!"

Texan_Bulldog September 11, 2012 at 10:37 am

Oooh, and then Putin slaps Mitt in the face with a glove & a duel ensues on PPV. I would totally pay $50 to see that.

ElPinche September 11, 2012 at 10:50 am

And Putin will be shirtless, you know this.

mrpuma2u September 11, 2012 at 10:28 am

Mittens is so good at foreign policy, that when he was in England and Poland recently, he managed to stick both his feet in his mouth while shoving his head up his ass. Now that is some serious high level management skill multi-tasking.

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:30 am

He became the Pretzeldent!

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 10:59 am

As mentioned before: "American Borat"

Lot_49 September 11, 2012 at 10:29 am

What Romney knows how to say in French:

N'aimeriez-vous pas à arrêter de fumer et boire du café et du vin?

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 10:52 am

et d'être humain

Chichikovovich September 11, 2012 at 10:59 am

By the time he left he had learned some more phrases too, to reel 'em in once that first sentence hooked 'em good:

"…et cesser le sexe hors de mariage, et ne porter que les vestons bleu et les chausettes blancs? Et donner une dixieme de ton argent à une grande église qui se trouve dans une désert d'Amerique? Une église qui prêche des doctrines suivantes …..?"

Thurman Munster IV September 11, 2012 at 11:26 am

Isn't this from a Magritte painting? You know, the one with a vagina for a face.

slithytoves September 11, 2012 at 10:29 am

Clearly this tactic has been well thought out given the incredible amount of time the Republicans took to remember our troops during the convention.

Goonemeritus September 11, 2012 at 10:30 am

I base my vote primarily on foreign policy in virtually every presidential election. In terms of the economy I share Kurt Vonnegut’s view that the power of the presidency is similar to the steering wheel on a toddler’s old fashion car seat. In terms of our standing in the world an un-thoughtful executive can make immediate and consequential missteps

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 10:59 am

I have tried to push up the ladder this plan for a campaign ad.

Voice Over: "Of all Constitutional Powers available on Inauguration Day the most critically important is the President's ability to act as Commander in Chief to protect us from harm."

Then run a number of clips where Romney makes one of his 'xxxx is not important', 'I don't care about xxxx' and 'I.m not going to give you a laundry list of xxxx'

The fade to the massive billows of smoke, ash and dust coming toward the cameras on 9/11

Goonemeritus September 11, 2012 at 11:13 am

Well at least Obama “has kept us safe”, when the Republican Party used that line they were taking advantage of the largest Mulligan in history.

no_gravity September 11, 2012 at 10:31 am

Some of Mitt's friends own foreign countries.

SoBeach September 11, 2012 at 10:31 am

I didn't realize it before, but now I see that foreign policy is really just an inconsequential distraction, like flag lapel pins, welfare queens in Cadillacs, and the persecution of Christians right here in the USA.

Serolf_Divad September 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

So you think you've got foreign policy experience, Barack? How many Frogs have you personally converted to Mormonism, Mr. smarty pants Law Review?…. Yeah, that's what I thought.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 11:00 am

This Romney guy, he converted the frogs or he ate their legs? Sounds very cannibalistic to me.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 11:36 am

Coincidentally, the exact same number as Mittens!

DemmeFatale September 11, 2012 at 11:59 am

Is that true?
I must have missed all the stories on how many people the Mittster actually converted.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I don't know if it's true or not, but what self-respecting Frenchman-or woman-would give up a life of hedonism and debauchery to follow the teachings of USAmerican Jesus?

Ruhe September 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

Well, as Mitt would know, the French have a word for everything…including failure. Romney = Reagan-manque.

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 10:33 am

Uh oh. He's going to appoint John Bolton as Bauble Czar, isn't he.

MissNancyPriss September 11, 2012 at 10:33 am

This is my favorite post yet.

no_gravity September 11, 2012 at 10:33 am

Mitt learned French from the hookers that hung out at the hotel he was staying at and doesn't understand why voulez-vous coucher avec moi is considered offensive.

Chichikovovich September 11, 2012 at 10:44 am

"Mr. Hollande, I'd like to welcome you to the US with the warm greeting I learned from the friendly people of your own country: Ici, Lisse – Cheveux! Veut-on chauffer mon trou?"

ifthethunderdontgetya September 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

But can Mittens windsurf?
~

hagajim September 11, 2012 at 10:54 am

No, but he does jet ski.

chicken_thief September 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

If only Obummerz would quit distracting everybody Mittens could then discuss the details of his various plans to create those 12M jerbs that are predicted to be created anyhoo.

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

I can't wait for the debates, when we get to watch Obama walk Mitt into a wall like he's a blind teacher.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 11:08 am

Do we need a President who, according to his own campaign, has started 'Debate Preparation' ONE WHOLE MONTH before the debate? How stupid or insecure is this guy? Where is he, again no campaign appearances yesterday?

Is "Debate Preparation" the new 'hiking the Appalachian Trail'?

RadioX September 11, 2012 at 10:36 am

You know who else counted their Olympics as foreign policy experience?

BaldarTFlagass September 11, 2012 at 10:38 am

Bill Bradley?

actor212 September 11, 2012 at 10:39 am

Athenians?

eggsacklywright September 11, 2012 at 10:57 am

Helene Bertha Amalie "Leni" Riefenstahl?

BoroPrimorac September 11, 2012 at 11:39 am

Karl Lewis.

gurukalehuru September 11, 2012 at 11:45 am

Oscar P. Sorryass

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 11, 2012 at 10:37 am

Yes, let's get back to talking about the real issues, like when a rape is legitimate and how gross the gays are.

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 10:49 am

And God's message spread through dimes and shit! Don't forget the war on pocket change! That does not exist! But never forget!

randcoolcatdaddy September 11, 2012 at 10:37 am

"It doesn’t surprise me that they’re out there killing Osama bin Laden because it’s another distraction from the Administration’s terrible economic record."

MacRaith September 11, 2012 at 10:39 am

This is just a slightly more sophisticated way of saying "Uzbeki-beki-beki-stan-stan".

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 10:40 am

Romney just brought a mirror ball to a knife fight.

RadioX September 11, 2012 at 10:41 am

And this on the High Holy Day of 9/11. The Romney campaign is despicable.

boobookitteh September 11, 2012 at 10:41 am

How do you say "draft dodger" in French?

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 10:43 am

Le Neo Conservateev?

chicken_thief September 11, 2012 at 10:57 am

I don't know how it's spelled but it's pronounced "poo-SAY".

ifthethunderdontgetya September 11, 2012 at 11:24 am

The "Royale with Cheese."
~

Joshua Norton September 11, 2012 at 10:41 am

given his experience heading the Olympic Winter Games

If that's the case, the guy who runs the line and puts you in the little cars at "It's a Small World" should at least be our UN Ambassador.

zumpie September 11, 2012 at 11:14 am

And any child who has visited World Showcase at Epcot is just as qualified as Mittens is.

HistoriCat September 11, 2012 at 12:26 pm

You and Baldar are both going to hell – stop with that ear-worm!!!

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 10:42 am

I can look at shiny objects for hours and hours when I'm on a sugar high.

fuflans September 11, 2012 at 10:43 am

And, he cautioned not to underestimate Romney’s foreign policy credentials.

here they are:

1. pissing off britain
2. pissing off palestinians and embarrassing israel
3. acting like a fool in poland
4. not convincing french people to give up wine
5. promising to bomb iran

Chichikovovich September 11, 2012 at 10:46 am

But on the plus side, he's got the "causing fatalities on foreign soil" thing down pat. On the minus side, they were Americans. So it's kind of a wash, on that point.

fuflans September 11, 2012 at 10:44 am

actually john kerry can run circles around mittbot's foreign policy credentials and would make a reasonable sec of state.

TootsStansbury September 11, 2012 at 10:48 am

This Rmoney fellow is a disingenuous peckerhead.

Mittens Howell, III September 11, 2012 at 10:49 am

Yup. The anniversary of the 911 attacks is probably the best day to compare Foreign Policy to an inconsequential shiny object.

YasserArraFeck September 11, 2012 at 10:53 am

Mittens' "foreign policy experience" consists of perusing his Cayman Island and Swiss bank account statements.

KeepFnThatChicken September 11, 2012 at 10:55 am

Know who else marched through France on a conversion project?!

RadioX September 11, 2012 at 10:58 am

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission?

chicken_thief September 11, 2012 at 11:00 am

The soshulis's cramming the free soshulis health care down the throats of the peoplez? Who promptly surrendered, again.

James Michael Curley September 11, 2012 at 11:11 am

Jacques Cousteau?

I thought you said 'swam through France on a conservation project.'

HistoriCat September 11, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Julius Caesar?

DahBoner September 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Backpackers fifty years ago, trying to do Yurp on a dollar a day?

finette_ September 11, 2012 at 10:56 am

Ben, moi je parle français aussi. Romney est un trou de cul extraordinaire. Sans surprise, les français ne l'aiment pas trop non plus.

poorgradstudent September 11, 2012 at 11:08 am

It's funny how all the things they can attack Obama on – heavy-handed Middle Eastern policy, drone attacks, militantly pro-Israel, Guantanamo – are all things they also want, if not want even more of. I've noticed they've at least hinted at the "Well if we're serious about helping Israel why haven't we nuked Iran yet?!" line now and then, but even then that can only go so far.

I should be depressed that the two parties have basically the same foreign policy approaches, with the significant difference that one party has shown itself to be more likely to just straight-up invade, destroy, and rebuild a country for no reason, but, hey, as long as it's something else that makes Romney and co. say dumb shit like this.

AddHomonym September 11, 2012 at 11:13 am

I speak French. I can haz prezidensity, s'il vous plait?

LibertyLover September 11, 2012 at 11:24 am

I am already against the next shiny war…

ttommyunger September 11, 2012 at 11:26 am

Spent so much time in France, even speaks the language, yet according to Ann still refuses to eat pussy on religious grounds. This will not stand!

DahBoner September 11, 2012 at 11:35 am

I bet Romney's nest has quite a few stolen shiny objects in it…

qwerty42 September 11, 2012 at 11:52 am

Geeze, Daniel Larrison at The American Conservative has been whacking Romney's "foreign policy expertise" like it's a piñata, John Judis at TNR did it today, Chait and a host of others likewise. The guy has weird, neo-con views that are strange to the rest of the country, but accepted inside the beltway as some sort of received wisdom.

owhatever September 11, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I am a Mitt voter and Republican forever and if this so-called President, Obama, wins a new term, America is doomed and I shall therefore leave the country forever after the election. Please suggest to your Republican friends to join me in the Cayman Islands.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Where is Lisa Wines?

mavenmaven September 11, 2012 at 12:56 pm

The world won't be shiny for long after Romney declares war on Iran…

Incitefully_Joe September 11, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Equating mention of "the troops" with mention of "military spending".

Referring to active conflicts where we have troops currently deployed, and dying, as a "shiny object".

Americans (especially feckless Independents) take note: this is what real "disdain for the troops" actually looks like.

Self-Uploader September 11, 2012 at 1:22 pm

You can see the Mitzer and the Boy Wonder get testy whenever they are asked to go "off script" — that is talk about anything besides "the economy" except maybe the occasional dog whistle. They are immensely frustrated when both the press and their opposition continue to bring up these other issues whether its marriage, drugs, foreign policy or even "the tropps." I can't wait for the debate to see whether Mitt actually answers any non-"economy" related questions or simply decides to hold his breath until his head explodes.

Slim_Pickins September 11, 2012 at 2:45 pm

And just how well does RMoney's extensive foreign experience stack up against being born in Kenya and raised a Muslim in Indonesia?

ColHeightsChic September 11, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Does anyone know how many Frenchies Mittens succeeded in converting? I can't really judge his "foreign policy credentials" until I know his success rate at this incredibly important matter of national security.

clblabin September 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Fuck the Italians!

BTWBFDIMHO September 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

When your army is the biggest in human history, and your defense budget is bigger than the one from the rest of the world combined, foreign policy is for pussies.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 11:13 am

I could yell this out with you:
"Me and my people are hungry
Me and my people are through
Me and my people are ready
Me and my people are just about due
I'm a massive air strike on a beautiful night
Yeah this is my song I'm singin
Somebody better start countin
We're comin out and we're comin
Out swinging"

prommie September 11, 2012 at 11:14 am

We'll be needing that Camaro.

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 11:15 am

Oh hell yeah, let's do it. You just made me clap at my computer screen. I love it.

Biff September 11, 2012 at 11:21 am

Follow the bouncing ball!

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 11:17 am

Absolutely. I'll tell Chet.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 11:25 am

l'audace, encore de l'audace, et toujours de l'audace!

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 11:31 am

Yum. You know I love a French call to bravery. It's just so, (Eddie Izzard face) fucking French.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 11:45 am

Or whatever it takes, same thing.

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 11:54 am

audacer – to dare, toujours, always. No matter what. I like it.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I will dare, even, almost

prommie September 11, 2012 at 12:33 pm

How young are you?
How old am I?
Let's count the rings around my eyes
How smart are you?
How dumb am I?
Don't count on any of my advice

Oh, meet me anyplace or anywhere or anytime
Now I don't care, meet me tonight
If you will dare, I might dare

FakaktaSouth September 11, 2012 at 12:38 pm

love love love.

prommie September 11, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Toujours

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