Fifteen Percent Of Ohio Republicans: Mitt Romney Killed Bin Laden

by Jesse Taylor

romney, right after he tore out bin laden's heartPublic Policy Polling polled pretty publicly, preferring poignant probes pertaining to…Ohio. They asked a question during that polling – namely, who was more responsible for Osama bin Laden’s death: Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?

Fifteen percent of Ohio Republicans said Mitt Romney.

In what some (my colleague Tim Murphy) have called “the greatest thing ever,” a full 15 percent of Ohio Republicans surveyed said Romney deserved more credit than the president. Another 47 percent said they were “unsure.”

….Well, then.

There is only one proper response to this finding, which is our announcement that we will shortly be selling “Mitt Romney: History’s Greatest Warrior” figures, which will include, among other things:

  1. Mitt Romney leading his elephant army against the Roman Empire.
  2. Mitt Romney singlehandedly stopping the Trail of Tears by turning it into the Trail of Hugs and Lemonade. (“Lemon. Wet. No Genocide.”)
  3. Mitt Romney stabbing Adolf Hitler through the sternum with his limited edition plasma time lance. (First 500 orders only, all further orders get regular steel lance standard with all Romney figures.)

You can reserve today by sending Wonkette $99.99 plus $5.95 S & H!

[Mother Jones]

 
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{ 206 comments }

FlownOver September 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

"It's the stupid, Stupid!"

BTWBFDIMHO September 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

+1.

YouBetcha September 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Your move, Florida.

randcoolcatdaddy September 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

The dirty truth finally comes out: Mitt Romney's fortune is funding our outsourced military.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Mitt Romney crossed the Delaware in his Caymans-registered yacht, "Cracker Baby", and beat the Hessians at polo.

chicken_thief September 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

The Delaware was just the right depth.

DaveJ September 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Point of clarification, if you don't mind: Romney FUNDED THE POLO TEAM that beat the Hessians. He would never be so gauche as to play polo himself. I mean, really, now.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Yes, of course. I was reading a revisionist history, of course.

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

He longed in many respects to actually be on the field and be representing the team there, and in some ways it was frustrating not to feel like he was there as part of the team that was playing polo.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Except it was Ann's horse, so he went back to England.

Lascauxcaveman September 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I liked that time when Romney rode up on Rafalca and singlehandedly stopped the Bataan death march, saving all those American GIs.

Or so my Republican great-uncle in Ohio remembers it.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Or that time he rode Shadowfax to the hill overlooking Helm's Deep…

Romney the White.

GunToting[Redacted] September 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm

"On the first light of the fifth day after the RNC… Look to the east."

YasserArraFeck September 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Romney the Whitest vs Barack Sauron Obama

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 2:38 am

Man, I thought he defeated the Haitians after crossing the Rubicon.

PeaceWithHonor September 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Freed the whites

mrpuma2u September 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Well duh, cuz Hussein Jihad Obummer was giving Osama a free pass by not looking for him. Oh wait wasn't that the yokel ex-rangers owner? It's so hard this dealing with facts.

Designer_Rants September 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

"Hussein Jihad Obummer" — that's awesome.

mrpuma2u September 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Aw shucks, thank you!

ChernobylSoup September 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

This comment was never posted because the user is at a loss for words.

Callyson September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Yeah, what you said…

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

If only that fifteen percent answered in the same way.

mrpuma2u September 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Sadly those kinda tards are never at loss for words. They are just at loss for meaningful thoughts behind them. To parphrase David Byrne "They're talkin' alot, but they ain't saying nothin'"

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm
actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The original reference was to this

mrpuma2u September 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Hey mad props to the Godfather of Soul, but I was in fact talking about alpha nerds with art degrees run amok, the Talking Heads.

belmontreport September 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I would like to follow that up with a… umm. Oh! Uhhh… no. What?

SmutBoffin September 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

They should have asked a follow-up question like "HOW did Romney kill Bin Laden?" and listed the results in order of stupidity.

1) Like Patrick Swayze in Road House.
2) Laser eyes and a hang glider.
3) With tax cuts.
4) GPS-guided tactical Paul Ryan.
5) Boredom.
6) His personal army of Mormon ninjas.

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I like number 6. Do you think the Fruit Of Moroni could defeat the Fruit Of Islam in battle?

bikerlaureate September 11, 2012 at 2:39 am

And no one posted a Fruit Of The Loom magic underwear reference in response? I has disappoint.

HistoriCat September 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I'm guessing that Mormons would even find a way to make ninjas boring and lame.

Maman September 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

As am I.

Jus_Wonderin September 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I'm sorry Ohio, but I will never be visiting you. I don't want to get this apparent virus.

kittensdontlie September 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Don't fret, the poll included many undead who had been posthumously baptized Mormon, which puts a bias in the numbers. So viruses, no….zombies, yes.

OneYieldRegular September 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

There's a shop here in SF in the Castro that sells a t-shirt reading: "Friends don't let friends live in Ohio."

walterhwhite September 10, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Yes, the I haz a stoopids virus.

YasserArraFeck September 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I'm about 25 miles from the OH state line – when the wind blows from the west, I can feel myself getting stupider….and….stoopidder…….and…….uh……ROMNEY/RYAN 2012!!!

Youbetcha

viennawoods13 September 10, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I'm right across Lake Erie. Too close!

chicken_thief September 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

When Mitt Romney needs backup, he calls on Chuck Norris.

But Mitt Romney never needs backup.

Callyson September 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Now that you mention it…oh, to have been a fly on the wall when Chuck Norris watched Clint Eastwood & The Empty Chair…

Fare la Volpe September 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Because he never goes out on the front lines.

Nowisallthereis September 11, 2012 at 8:26 am

Don't forget Ted "Poopypants" Nugent

Callyson September 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Hahahahaha, Romney can't even beat Bigfoot:

More than a quarter of Americans believe in Bigfoot, a recent poll found. They claim this legendary bipedal ape, a "long lost relative" of humans, evades detection in remote woodland areas. Although it may seem strange to think a 7-foot-tall land mammal could go unnoticed for so long, the notion is actually widespread.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47922748/ns/technolog

zumpie September 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Hey, at least Bigfoot's kinda cool. Also, too, I live in the Pacific NW and this IS part our tourism scheme

Lascauxcaveman September 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

And they're actually a lot more fun than mopey teenage vampires.

Pit any Jack Links commercial against any Twilight series movie, and you'll agree with me.

GunToting[Redacted] September 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm

We just got back from 10 days in the PNW and the wife and I were surprised to see Forks on the weather map.

YasserArraFeck September 10, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Hey wait – I read that Bigfoot was run over a few weeks ago!!

deanbooth September 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Dick Morris's dream date!

DaveJ September 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

It would be interesting to know the % of Americans who do believe in bigfoot, yet who do not believe in evolution. I imagine the Venn diagram for that looks like one circle.

YasserArraFeck September 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Duh, the reason Bigfoot wanders around in the woods, all grumpy-like, is that Mrs Bigfoot missed the Ark and drownded – don't you know nuthin"?

azeyote September 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

sounds more like a discription of romney

PennyDreadful September 10, 2012 at 11:37 pm

If someone asked me, I would probably tell them I believe in Bigfoot.

jonmc6 September 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

What is wrong with you people! Mitt killed him retroactively! Do I have to point out everything?

JustPixelz September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

And Mitt — not Tom Hanks — saved Private Ryan

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Well, he certainly saved Privatized Ryan from serving in Congress again

keepwalkin September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

That view of Willard is what Ann must see when she blahs his blah!

Isyaignert September 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Do you really think Ayn blahs Mitten's blah, because I don't.

keepwalkin September 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Yes, but while fantasizing about Oblahblah!!

peaceocrap September 10, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Thank you. Now I will never have blah again.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 2:51 am

You're welcome!

SmutBoffin September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Well, yeah. RETROACTIVELY.

RRoccoco September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Seal Team 6 made Osama watch dvd's of Romney in his mom jeans making fun of the poors, and Osama laughed himself to death? I think the Pentagon will send out drones to kill anyone who reveals this secret information. So I didn't just write it.

But it does fit the pattern of retroactive achievments on Romney's resume: saved the auto industry; lived in Massachusetts long enough to run for governor; paid all taxes legally owed; would have loved to have saved Viet Nam from Communism, but had to save France from wine and cafe au lait first.

TanzbodenKoenig September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

15% of Ohio Republicans also believe Obama faked the moon landing, and or is a Kenyan Sasquatch Manchurian Candidate who landed on the UFO at Roswell

RedneckMuslin September 10, 2012 at 3:17 pm

15% of Ohio Republicans are incorrect 90% of the time.

FlownOver September 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

So, 105%?

Arithmetic!

SayItWithWookies September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

And he's not all braggy about it either, like some presidents.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I guess Romney got hold of that SooperSekrit Time machine that the President used to alter his birth certificate from Keyna…

zumpie September 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Oh Obama didn't use a time machine, silly! He just knew he'd be president and faked them while he was an infant. DUH!!!

Isyaignert September 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

… and put the two birth notices in the Hawaii newspapers.

NorthStarSpanx September 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Some of his best friends may own private armies, but dude's unemployed. In what realm, a 'title' if you will, would Mitt have the power to pull this off?

fredbell September 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Thank God Rmoney's political strategists are too dumb to have figured out that they can flood the Ohio TV market with "Rmoney Killed Bid Laden" ads and get away with it…Until Bill Clinton gives another speech , of course….

chicken_thief September 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

In defence of Ohians, who can remember the name of that French bitch that bit the windshield?

billy_reuben September 11, 2012 at 7:48 am

Ooh, ooh! (holds up hand, waving) Pick me! Pick me!
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/07/17/1110907/

Of course, I'm not Republican from Ohio, so maybe that's the disconnect.

CivicHoliday September 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Mitt Romney tore down the Berlin Wall. With his magic underpants.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

All of the smart people moved out of Ohio a long time ago.

LibertyLover September 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I have relatives that live in Ohio…. oh wait….

walterhwhite September 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Yes, they're now living in Kansas, which gives you some idea of how smart the smart people of Ohio are.

azeyote September 10, 2012 at 7:15 pm

long long time ago

SaintRond September 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

This is just like selling Jackalope tags in Montana. Starts right after Rabbit Season. Only $999.00.

Mojopo September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

He has The Great Pumpkin on Skype, too.

zumpie September 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

And Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Pooh

no_gravity September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

MITT ROMNEY KILLED BIN LADEN

Karl Rove – Mission accomplished.

Arkoday September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

No skid-marks on THOSE magic underwear.

CrunchyKnee September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Willard was the original drummer for the Beatles.

MLHencken September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Everyone get on board the Romneytron Rocket 2000!

Next stop: Kolob.

emmelemm September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

God damn America.

Jus_Wonderin September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Did Mitt cut Osama's hair first?

mr bojangles September 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

phuque y'all….i killed bin laden!!!!!

ManchuCandidate September 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Mittens bored him to death.

johnnyzhivago September 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Ok, but 32% of Ohio Republicans think JR killed Bin Laden

zumpie September 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Hey, Larry Hagman rocks! Willard isn't fit to shine Larry or JR's shoes.

finallyhappy September 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Saw him 2 years ago and the guy was great- of course, Barbara Eden looked incredible- but I think she had "some" work done. This predates Dallas(for you young uns who have no idea of what we are talking about- look it up)

SorosBot September 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

When Willard Romney traveled in time to the year 3010, he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again; and when Willard Romney built the pyramids, he beat up Kublai Khan, 'cause Willard Romney doesn't take shit from anybody,

Urban_Achiever September 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Don't forget fighting the gizzly bears, using his magical fire breath

jqheywood September 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Is he the honey-badger?

Gleem McShineys September 10, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Money Badger don't give a fuck!

(hat tip to …someone else around here on Wonkette who I borrowed this from. I'll retroactively baptize them later.)

tejanojim September 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm

No Willard those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those!

doloras September 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

… now I'll make dirty love to you
'Cause that's what Willard Romney wouldn't do.

Come here a minute September 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Mitt Romney also let a black kid touch his hair.

Isyaignert September 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Oye 'effin' vay Republicons are stupid!

sbj1964 September 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

15 percent,That's nothing 84 percent of people in Alabama think Jesus killed Bin Laden.

RedneckMuslin September 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Mitt's just a regular Forest Gump, isn't he? Run Forest, run!

weejee September 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

37% of the folks in Ohio don't like golf…

♪♫ Fore dread in Oh-hi-oh ♫♪

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I always wanted to hold a reggae poetry slam in Akron, just so I could advertise "Flow Dread in Ohio"

Wadisay September 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Now that Joseph Goebbels is a baptized Mormon, I suppose he's working overtime on getting the Repubs to buy into nonsense like this.

Mahousu September 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

True fact: Mitt Romney is the first presidential candidate since Adlai Stevenson to have killed someone outside of wartime.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Is that the guy he shot in Reno, just to watch him die?

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 2:46 am

Nope, 'cause everyone knows that Bill Clinton did in Vince Foster. So, no dice.

TheGyrus September 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

15% of Republicans like to fuck with pollsters. Those things are getting less and less accurate every day.

JerkCade September 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Just thinking the same thing. If anyone ever called to poll me about anything, I would very deliberately give the worst answers I could think of on the spot. Just on principle.

Lascauxcaveman September 10, 2012 at 3:01 pm

And there's your acceptable margin of error, these days.

bobbert September 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

This was,perhaps, an excessively playful question. I suspect they'd have gotten similar results if the choices were President Obama and Bigfoot.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 11, 2012 at 8:46 am

I can see why you might want to slip in this question … it tells you which responses to throw out, so you can report results "among likely voters with functioning brains."
Then again, ignoring an important fraction of the GOP's base would make your results less accurate.

zumpie September 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

So did Mittens do this when Bain took over the Taliban, outsourced it and sucked it dry? Or did he just put Bin Laden on his car roof?

FlownOver September 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Great photo, though. Looks like somebody just told Mitt "K-Mart sucks."

MacRaith September 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Let's take a step back from the amazing stupidity of those answers and ponder the stupidity of the question in the first place. I mean, it's either the stupidest or the most brilliant question ever asked. Possibly both at the same time.

emmelemm September 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

You have a point.

slowhansolo September 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

15% is actually a fairly low proportion of fucking idiots in any given sample.

HogeyeGrex September 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Particularly a sample of Ohio Republicans, but still, this makes up for it in the severity of the stupid.

Blueb4sinrise September 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

27% think Mitt took The Browns to Baltimore.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

That might explain why Ohio is actually tighter than it should be.

Blueb4sinrise September 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Watched a little football yesterday evening. Costas talked about Modell at half-time…."he made a TV deal, he hired Ozzie as GM…. someday Browns fans will get over it……"
BWAAAAAAHAHHAHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll bet his twitter and email are filled with goodwill wishes today.

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Beat me to it!

Blueb4sinrise September 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Ya know, just for the hell of it ………. a quick search did not reveal any connection between Modell and Bain.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 2:47 am

I think British took The Browns to Baltimore…

mosaickmind September 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

It may sound shocking, but 15% don't know who the President is. The margin of error in polling should be 15% because of the stupidity factor.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Fifteen percent of Ohioans believe Mitt was crucified by Pontius Pilate.

T3rbo September 10, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I thought that was Christmas, what were crucified by Librl Media?

vtxmcrider September 10, 2012 at 8:08 pm

And 70% of Ohioans believe the guy's last name is Pilot.

SheriffRoscoe September 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

It's nothing when you consider 100% of Republicans polled said they believe Jesus rode a dinosaur.

savethispatient September 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

That's silly, I think you'll find that it was Reagan who rode the dinosaur.

TootsStansbury September 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Are we sure it was Republicans being interviewed and not something else that starts with R-e? Is there a difference?

imissopus September 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I would like to believe that those Ohioans responded that way because it was such an unbelievably dumb fucking question and they just wanted to mess with the pollsters. Please do not make me any more disillusioned.

Jus_Wonderin September 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I bet, 100% of Wonketteers think Mitt Romney is fucking a chicken.

walterhwhite September 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm

No, but I think he's a fucking chicken

finallyhappy September 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I think the one time I read those Penthouse letters, it was seagulls

AbandonHope_ September 10, 2012 at 5:41 pm

A chicken is way too high-class.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Fifteen percent of Ohioans believe Mitt Romney could turn the world on with his smile.

mrblifil September 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

He crushed him with a car elevator?

Arkoday September 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Spent much time in Cinty at one point and met many intelligent people. So, WTF is with this, Ohio? 62% of you??? I thought stupid started a lot further Sou…huh? What's that, Michele? I see. OK. Never mind…

pdiddycornchips September 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm

There are parts of Ohio so backward they make the Swamp People look like a meeting of the Trilateral Commission.

proudgrampa September 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Jesus Fucking Christ. These people vote.

Abernathy September 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

To be fair, their machines vote for them.

proudgrampa September 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

You know, I never thought of it like that!

pdiddycornchips September 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm

They not only vote, they are usually one of a handful of states that decide Presidential elections. Comforting isn't it?

kittensdontlie September 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

After God created all of the people, he turned to our Lord Mittens to create all the jobs, and kill BL.

Abernathy September 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

The most shocking finding is that 38% of Ohio Republicans aren't stupid enough to believe it.

Chichikovovich September 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I thought it was Urban Meyer that killed Bin Laden.

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 3:22 pm

That is an Urban Legend.

Fare la Volpe September 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

What's the literacy rate in Ohio? About 85%? Sounds about right.

walterhwhite September 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Sounds high

no_gravity September 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Mittens wore his Michigan State Trooper's uniform when he took him out.

mustangsavvy September 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

"In what some have called “the greatest thing ever", a full 15 percent of Ohio Republicans were found to be complete and utter fuckwits. The remaining 47% were unsure that they even knew how to pee, let alone answer complicated questions from pollsters."

ChillBill September 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

The remaining 85% believes that Mitt baptized Bin Laden.

SpeedoFart September 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

So THAT'S why they threw him off a boat!

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 2:48 am

Oh YOU!!

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Maybe we can convince the dumbasses that Mitt Romney was more responsible for the Browns turning into the Ravens than Art Modell, and more responsible for LeBron's Reverse Underground Railroad escape to Miami than Pat Riley.

barto September 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Of course that same 15% has no freakin clue as to who Bin Laden was, they just understand that Rmoney is basically a murderer.

mavenmaven September 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Because Mitt Romney= lead. He's as charismatic as a spent bullet, and it was bullets that killed Bin Laden.

LibertyLover September 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

That 15% of Ohioans doesn't know who Osama Bin Laden actually is. But they think Mitt killed him.

Dr_Zoidberg September 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Fifteen percent of Ohioans believe that Mittens built a blimp and fought the Nazis!

RadioX September 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

MURDERER

OneYieldRegular September 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

How many minutes until the Romney campaign issues a press release in Ohio highlighting Romney's leadership in the operation that took out Bin Laden?

Baconzgood September 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Stupid ohioans are people too my friend

John O September 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I can't believe it wasn't 27%.

Lazy Media September 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Was it over when Mitt Romney bombed Pearl Harbor?

ColHeightsChic September 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

It was actually 6%, http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_R… but that doesn't make me ANY LESS PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. USA USA USA. TEAM AMERICA FUCK YEAH.

HogeyeGrex September 10, 2012 at 3:51 pm

6% overall. Read the crosstabs. Search "Laden" in the pdf.

Oh, and pull the comma out of the end of your tag.

What's yet more fucked up is that 47%, the plurality of Repubs answered "unsure". So they're not quite stupid enough to just spout "My guy did it! USA! USA!" but can't bring themselves to credit Obama for anything.

ColHeightsChic September 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Ah crap, does this make me as stoopid as the rest of Amrika? Although, the fact that 6% of all Americans answered that way is fucking terrifying. Perhaps the follow-up question should have been: Do you watch anything other than Fox News?

LibrarianX September 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Was Forrest Fucking Gump from Ohio?

GeorgiaBurning September 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

In Arizona, 15% think Sheriff Joe Arpaio killed Obama.. Jan Brewer is jealous

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

15% of Ohio Republicans think Mitt Romney sang lead on the Ohio Players' "Skintight".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-z2Kyiu0Nk

DahBoner September 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Ha!

Did they ask that 15% a follow-up question?

"Which planet do you live on?"

BlueStateLibel September 10, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Duh, Mitt Romney killed bin Laden with the death lasers ATTACHED TO HIS HEAD.

walterhwhite September 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm

That picture of Mitt looks like someone stuck an electrical appliance up his butt.

Gleem McShineys September 10, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Mitt Romney IS an electrical appliance.

HogeyeGrex September 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm

facepalm.jpg

Terry September 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Ohio: Mississippi with snow and worse food.

T3rbo September 10, 2012 at 3:31 pm

This just means that 15% of those polled didn't have enough integrity to say "Hell, I have no fucking idea what you are talking about at all. Next question?"

Groupshrug September 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Can someone please update Mitt's Wikipedia page? Have it note that despite not holding public office since 2007, suggesting that it wasn't worth moving Heaven and Earth to find Bin Laden and having zero foreign policy experience, Mitt Romney is largely* credited with killing Osama Bin Laden.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 2:45 am

And he gives himself a lot of credit for saving Detroit after he said to let it go bankrupt. What the fuk planet is this guy on? Oh yeah, Kolob.

102415 September 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Same 15% who think Mitt is already President.

Antispandex September 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

4. Shooting that closet commie from the grassy knoll before he could turn the country over to the Viet Cong.

HogeyeGrex September 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

15% of Ohio Republicans think their penis is longer than 3".

unclejeems September 10, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Judging by Ann Coulter, those are the Republican women.

HogeyeGrex September 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

No. 47% said "unsure" which includes the vanishingly small number who really didn't know as well as all the fuckwits who just can't say anything positive about Obama.

47 fucking %

That leaves 38% of Ohio Republicans with some tenuous thread connecting them to reality. More than I would have thought, I guess, but damn.

Bezoar September 10, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Oh great, but if I suggest that half of our citizens are too stupid to be allowed to vote, somebody's sure to write "Say, you know who else thought his citizens were too stupid to be allowed to vote?" and I don't think I would like the comparison. Sheesh.

ttommyunger September 10, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Oh thanks for giving Gov. Nathan "Let's Make a Deal" Deal bragging rights. Only 14% of Georgians believe this.

Steverino247 September 10, 2012 at 4:22 pm

It's polls like this that make me think there needs to be Literacy Tests for white Republicans…

Pap Finn September 10, 2012 at 4:24 pm

This does wonders for my confidence in Americans' fitness for self-government.

keinsignal September 10, 2012 at 4:44 pm

So now we have actual data on precisely how many people you can fool all of the time.

littlebigdaddy September 10, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Derp.

a_pink_poodle September 10, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Mitt Romney personally slew the entire British army with the claymore of William Wallace in the battle of Wounded Knee during WW2. By his side were Ronald Reagan and whoever is politically convenient at the telling of this comment, saving him from a surprise ambush of Japanese kamikaze fighters.

glamourdammerung September 10, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Normal people do not look down on Republicans simply because they have different opinions like the Republicans claim. They look down on them because they think these opinions are facts and well, because they have really, really stupid opinions.

azeyote September 10, 2012 at 7:10 pm

i bet if you took a survey of the same people the pecentage of people that think there's an actual – man in the moon – would be higher.

vtxmcrider September 10, 2012 at 8:07 pm

That picture can be used again when Mittens gets caught in the whirlwind of defeat.

Barrelhse September 10, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Nice country.
Is everybody that stupid?

Attila_T_Hun September 11, 2012 at 1:34 am

I'm from Ohio. Hogs and corn and dipshits as far as the eye could see.
I fled that state as soon as I could.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 2:33 am

Sorry, Buckeyes, but you've just been demoted back to territory status, and your new name is "East Indiana" or "Western West Virginia." Your choice.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 2:44 am

If they are stupid enough to believe that Romney killed Osama, maybe the Obama campaign can counter with the propoganda that "Mitt Romney did 9/11." Just sayin''…

Pete_DuKane September 12, 2012 at 12:23 am

Mitt Romney killed Osama Bin Laden in his pajamas. How OBL got in them is your guess!

wolvenwood13 September 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm

"we will shortly be selling “Mitt Romney: History’s Greatest Warrior” figures, which will include, among other things…"

You forgot to add George W. Bush in his flight suit with bulging package and the Mission Accomplished banner with him. What exactly he accomplished is anyone's guess.

wolvenwood13 September 14, 2012 at 3:15 pm

At least we'll know who to blame if Romney wins.

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm

15% of Ohio Republicans think "Psycho Killer" is funkier.

angelfoot September 10, 2012 at 11:44 pm

This should make everyone happy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCpekvOkwNM

Chet Kincaid_ September 11, 2012 at 8:40 am

The funkiest of art school nerds, indeed! I saw them on the tour from which "Stop Making Sense" was made, it was a funk steamroller.

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