Public Policy Polling polled pretty publicly, preferring poignant probes pertaining to…Ohio. They asked a question during that polling – namely, who was more responsible for Osama bin Laden’s death: Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?
Fifteen percent of Ohio Republicans said Mitt Romney.
In what some (my colleague Tim Murphy) have called “the greatest thing ever,” a full 15 percent of Ohio Republicans surveyed said Romney deserved more credit than the president. Another 47 percent said they were “unsure.”
….Well, then.
There is only one proper response to this finding, which is our announcement that we will shortly be selling “Mitt Romney: History’s Greatest Warrior” figures, which will include, among other things:
- Mitt Romney leading his elephant army against the Roman Empire.
- Mitt Romney singlehandedly stopping the Trail of Tears by turning it into the Trail of Hugs and Lemonade. (“Lemon. Wet. No Genocide.”)
- Mitt Romney stabbing Adolf Hitler through the sternum with his limited edition plasma time lance. (First 500 orders only, all further orders get regular steel lance standard with all Romney figures.)
You can reserve today by sending Wonkette $99.99 plus $5.95 S & H!
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"It's the stupid, Stupid!"
+1.
Your move, Florida.
The dirty truth finally comes out: Mitt Romney's fortune is funding our outsourced military.
Mitt Romney crossed the Delaware in his Caymans-registered yacht, "Cracker Baby", and beat the Hessians at polo.
The Delaware was just the right depth.
Point of clarification, if you don't mind: Romney FUNDED THE POLO TEAM that beat the Hessians. He would never be so gauche as to play polo himself. I mean, really, now.
Yes, of course. I was reading a revisionist history, of course.
He longed in many respects to actually be on the field and be representing the team there, and in some ways it was frustrating not to feel like he was there as part of the team that was playing polo.
Except it was Ann's horse, so he went back to England.
I liked that time when Romney rode up on Rafalca and singlehandedly stopped the Bataan death march, saving all those American GIs.
Or so my Republican great-uncle in Ohio remembers it.
Or that time he rode Shadowfax to the hill overlooking Helm's Deep…
Romney the White.
"On the first light of the fifth day after the RNC… Look to the east."
Romney the Whitest vs Barack Sauron Obama
Man, I thought he defeated the Haitians after crossing the Rubicon.
Freed the whites
Well duh, cuz Hussein Jihad Obummer was giving Osama a free pass by not looking for him. Oh wait wasn't that the yokel ex-rangers owner? It's so hard this dealing with facts.
"Hussein Jihad Obummer" — that's awesome.
Aw shucks, thank you!
This comment was never posted because the user is at a loss for words.
Yeah, what you said…
If only that fifteen percent answered in the same way.
Sadly those kinda tards are never at loss for words. They are just at loss for meaningful thoughts behind them. To parphrase David Byrne "They're talkin' alot, but they ain't saying nothin'"
Really? David Byrne?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZkjo3mNmsA
The original reference was to this
Hey mad props to the Godfather of Soul, but I was in fact talking about alpha nerds with art degrees run amok, the Talking Heads.
I would like to follow that up with a… umm. Oh! Uhhh… no. What?
They should have asked a follow-up question like "HOW did Romney kill Bin Laden?" and listed the results in order of stupidity.
1) Like Patrick Swayze in Road House.
2) Laser eyes and a hang glider.
3) With tax cuts.
4) GPS-guided tactical Paul Ryan.
5) Boredom.
6) His personal army of Mormon ninjas.
I like number 6. Do you think the Fruit Of Moroni could defeat the Fruit Of Islam in battle?
And no one posted a Fruit Of The Loom magic underwear reference in response? I has disappoint.
I'm guessing that Mormons would even find a way to make ninjas boring and lame.
As am I.
I'm sorry Ohio, but I will never be visiting you. I don't want to get this apparent virus.
Don't fret, the poll included many undead who had been posthumously baptized Mormon, which puts a bias in the numbers. So viruses, no….zombies, yes.
There's a shop here in SF in the Castro that sells a t-shirt reading: "Friends don't let friends live in Ohio."
Yes, the I haz a stoopids virus.
I'm about 25 miles from the OH state line – when the wind blows from the west, I can feel myself getting stupider….and….stoopidder…….and…….uh……ROMNEY/RYAN 2012!!!
Youbetcha
I'm right across Lake Erie. Too close!
When Mitt Romney needs backup, he calls on Chuck Norris.
But Mitt Romney never needs backup.
Now that you mention it…oh, to have been a fly on the wall when Chuck Norris watched Clint Eastwood & The Empty Chair…
Because he never goes out on the front lines.
Don't forget Ted "Poopypants" Nugent
Hahahahaha, Romney can't even beat Bigfoot:
More than a quarter of Americans believe in Bigfoot, a recent poll found. They claim this legendary bipedal ape, a "long lost relative" of humans, evades detection in remote woodland areas. Although it may seem strange to think a 7-foot-tall land mammal could go unnoticed for so long, the notion is actually widespread.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47922748/ns/technolog…
Hey, at least Bigfoot's kinda cool. Also, too, I live in the Pacific NW and this IS part our tourism scheme
And they're actually a lot more fun than mopey teenage vampires.
Pit any Jack Links commercial against any Twilight series movie, and you'll agree with me.
We just got back from 10 days in the PNW and the wife and I were surprised to see Forks on the weather map.
Hey wait – I read that Bigfoot was run over a few weeks ago!!
Dick Morris's dream date!
It would be interesting to know the % of Americans who do believe in bigfoot, yet who do not believe in evolution. I imagine the Venn diagram for that looks like one circle.
Duh, the reason Bigfoot wanders around in the woods, all grumpy-like, is that Mrs Bigfoot missed the Ark and drownded – don't you know nuthin"?
sounds more like a discription of romney
If someone asked me, I would probably tell them I believe in Bigfoot.
What is wrong with you people! Mitt killed him retroactively! Do I have to point out everything?
And Mitt — not Tom Hanks — saved Private Ryan
Well, he certainly saved Privatized Ryan from serving in Congress again
That view of Willard is what Ann must see when she blahs his blah!
Do you really think Ayn blahs Mitten's blah, because I don't.
Yes, but while fantasizing about Oblahblah!!
Thank you. Now I will never have blah again.
You're welcome!
Well, yeah. RETROACTIVELY.
Seal Team 6 made Osama watch dvd's of Romney in his mom jeans making fun of the poors, and Osama laughed himself to death? I think the Pentagon will send out drones to kill anyone who reveals this secret information. So I didn't just write it.
But it does fit the pattern of retroactive achievments on Romney's resume: saved the auto industry; lived in Massachusetts long enough to run for governor; paid all taxes legally owed; would have loved to have saved Viet Nam from Communism, but had to save France from wine and cafe au lait first.
15% of Ohio Republicans also believe Obama faked the moon landing, and or is a Kenyan Sasquatch Manchurian Candidate who landed on the UFO at Roswell
15% of Ohio Republicans are incorrect 90% of the time.
So, 105%?
Arithmetic!
And he's not all braggy about it either, like some presidents.
I guess Romney got hold of that SooperSekrit Time machine that the President used to alter his birth certificate from Keyna…
Oh Obama didn't use a time machine, silly! He just knew he'd be president and faked them while he was an infant. DUH!!!
… and put the two birth notices in the Hawaii newspapers.
Some of his best friends may own private armies, but dude's unemployed. In what realm, a 'title' if you will, would Mitt have the power to pull this off?
Thank God Rmoney's political strategists are too dumb to have figured out that they can flood the Ohio TV market with "Rmoney Killed Bid Laden" ads and get away with it…Until Bill Clinton gives another speech , of course….
In defence of Ohians, who can remember the name of that French bitch that bit the windshield?
Ooh, ooh! (holds up hand, waving) Pick me! Pick me!
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/07/17/1110907/…
Of course, I'm not Republican from Ohio, so maybe that's the disconnect.
Mitt Romney tore down the Berlin Wall. With his magic underpants.
All of the smart people moved out of Ohio a long time ago.
I have relatives that live in Ohio…. oh wait….
Yes, they're now living in Kansas, which gives you some idea of how smart the smart people of Ohio are.
long long time ago
This is just like selling Jackalope tags in Montana. Starts right after Rabbit Season. Only $999.00.
He has The Great Pumpkin on Skype, too.
And Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Pooh
MITT ROMNEY KILLED BIN LADEN
Karl Rove – Mission accomplished.
No skid-marks on THOSE magic underwear.
Willard was the original drummer for the Beatles.
Everyone get on board the Romneytron Rocket 2000!
Next stop: Kolob.
God damn America.
Did Mitt cut Osama's hair first?
phuque y'all….i killed bin laden!!!!!
Mittens bored him to death.
Ok, but 32% of Ohio Republicans think JR killed Bin Laden
Hey, Larry Hagman rocks! Willard isn't fit to shine Larry or JR's shoes.
Saw him 2 years ago and the guy was great- of course, Barbara Eden looked incredible- but I think she had "some" work done. This predates Dallas(for you young uns who have no idea of what we are talking about- look it up)
When Willard Romney traveled in time to the year 3010, he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again; and when Willard Romney built the pyramids, he beat up Kublai Khan, 'cause Willard Romney doesn't take shit from anybody,
Don't forget fighting the gizzly bears, using his magical fire breath
Is he the honey-badger?
Money Badger don't give a fuck!
(hat tip to …someone else around here on Wonkette who I borrowed this from. I'll retroactively baptize them later.)
No Willard those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those!
… now I'll make dirty love to you
'Cause that's what Willard Romney wouldn't do.
Mitt Romney also let a black kid touch his hair.
Oye 'effin' vay Republicons are stupid!
15 percent,That's nothing 84 percent of people in Alabama think Jesus killed Bin Laden.
Mitt's just a regular Forest Gump, isn't he? Run Forest, run!
37% of the folks in Ohio don't like golf…
♪♫ Fore dread in Oh-hi-oh ♫♪
I always wanted to hold a reggae poetry slam in Akron, just so I could advertise "Flow Dread in Ohio"
Now that Joseph Goebbels is a baptized Mormon, I suppose he's working overtime on getting the Repubs to buy into nonsense like this.
True fact: Mitt Romney is the first presidential candidate since Adlai Stevenson to have killed someone outside of wartime.
Is that the guy he shot in Reno, just to watch him die?
Nope, 'cause everyone knows that Bill Clinton did in Vince Foster. So, no dice.
15% of Republicans like to fuck with pollsters. Those things are getting less and less accurate every day.
Just thinking the same thing. If anyone ever called to poll me about anything, I would very deliberately give the worst answers I could think of on the spot. Just on principle.
And there's your acceptable margin of error, these days.
This was,perhaps, an excessively playful question. I suspect they'd have gotten similar results if the choices were President Obama and Bigfoot.
I can see why you might want to slip in this question … it tells you which responses to throw out, so you can report results "among likely voters with functioning brains."
Then again, ignoring an important fraction of the GOP's base would make your results less accurate.
So did Mittens do this when Bain took over the Taliban, outsourced it and sucked it dry? Or did he just put Bin Laden on his car roof?
Great photo, though. Looks like somebody just told Mitt "K-Mart sucks."
Let's take a step back from the amazing stupidity of those answers and ponder the stupidity of the question in the first place. I mean, it's either the stupidest or the most brilliant question ever asked. Possibly both at the same time.
You have a point.
15% is actually a fairly low proportion of fucking idiots in any given sample.
Particularly a sample of Ohio Republicans, but still, this makes up for it in the severity of the stupid.
27% think Mitt took The Browns to Baltimore.
That might explain why Ohio is actually tighter than it should be.
Watched a little football yesterday evening. Costas talked about Modell at half-time…."he made a TV deal, he hired Ozzie as GM…. someday Browns fans will get over it……"
BWAAAAAAHAHHAHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll bet his twitter and email are filled with goodwill wishes today.
Beat me to it!
Ya know, just for the hell of it ………. a quick search did not reveal any connection between Modell and Bain.
I think British took The Browns to Baltimore…
It may sound shocking, but 15% don't know who the President is. The margin of error in polling should be 15% because of the stupidity factor.
Fifteen percent of Ohioans believe Mitt was crucified by Pontius Pilate.
I thought that was Christmas, what were crucified by Librl Media?
And 70% of Ohioans believe the guy's last name is Pilot.
It's nothing when you consider 100% of Republicans polled said they believe Jesus rode a dinosaur.
That's silly, I think you'll find that it was Reagan who rode the dinosaur.
Are we sure it was Republicans being interviewed and not something else that starts with R-e? Is there a difference?
I would like to believe that those Ohioans responded that way because it was such an unbelievably dumb fucking question and they just wanted to mess with the pollsters. Please do not make me any more disillusioned.
I bet, 100% of Wonketteers think Mitt Romney is fucking a chicken.
No, but I think he's a fucking chicken
I think the one time I read those Penthouse letters, it was seagulls
A chicken is way too high-class.
Fifteen percent of Ohioans believe Mitt Romney could turn the world on with his smile.
He crushed him with a car elevator?
Spent much time in Cinty at one point and met many intelligent people. So, WTF is with this, Ohio? 62% of you??? I thought stupid started a lot further Sou…huh? What's that, Michele? I see. OK. Never mind…
There are parts of Ohio so backward they make the Swamp People look like a meeting of the Trilateral Commission.
Jesus Fucking Christ. These people vote.
To be fair, their machines vote for them.
You know, I never thought of it like that!
They not only vote, they are usually one of a handful of states that decide Presidential elections. Comforting isn't it?
After God created all of the people, he turned to our Lord Mittens to create all the jobs, and kill BL.
The most shocking finding is that 38% of Ohio Republicans aren't stupid enough to believe it.
I thought it was Urban Meyer that killed Bin Laden.
That is an Urban Legend.
What's the literacy rate in Ohio? About 85%? Sounds about right.
Sounds high
Mittens wore his Michigan State Trooper's uniform when he took him out.
"In what some have called “the greatest thing ever", a full 15 percent of Ohio Republicans were found to be complete and utter fuckwits. The remaining 47% were unsure that they even knew how to pee, let alone answer complicated questions from pollsters."
The remaining 85% believes that Mitt baptized Bin Laden.
So THAT'S why they threw him off a boat!
Oh YOU!!
Maybe we can convince the dumbasses that Mitt Romney was more responsible for the Browns turning into the Ravens than Art Modell, and more responsible for LeBron's Reverse Underground Railroad escape to Miami than Pat Riley.
Of course that same 15% has no freakin clue as to who Bin Laden was, they just understand that Rmoney is basically a murderer.
Because Mitt Romney= lead. He's as charismatic as a spent bullet, and it was bullets that killed Bin Laden.
That 15% of Ohioans doesn't know who Osama Bin Laden actually is. But they think Mitt killed him.
Fifteen percent of Ohioans believe that Mittens built a blimp and fought the Nazis!
MURDERER
How many minutes until the Romney campaign issues a press release in Ohio highlighting Romney's leadership in the operation that took out Bin Laden?
Stupid ohioans are people too my friend
I can't believe it wasn't 27%.
Was it over when Mitt Romney bombed Pearl Harbor?
It was actually 6%, http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_R… but that doesn't make me ANY LESS PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. USA USA USA. TEAM AMERICA FUCK YEAH.
6% overall. Read the crosstabs. Search "Laden" in the pdf.
Oh, and pull the comma out of the end of your tag.
What's yet more fucked up is that 47%, the plurality of Repubs answered "unsure". So they're not quite stupid enough to just spout "My guy did it! USA! USA!" but can't bring themselves to credit Obama for anything.
Ah crap, does this make me as stoopid as the rest of Amrika? Although, the fact that 6% of all Americans answered that way is fucking terrifying. Perhaps the follow-up question should have been: Do you watch anything other than Fox News?
Was Forrest Fucking Gump from Ohio?
In Arizona, 15% think Sheriff Joe Arpaio killed Obama.. Jan Brewer is jealous
15% of Ohio Republicans think Mitt Romney sang lead on the Ohio Players' "Skintight".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-z2Kyiu0Nk
Ha!
Did they ask that 15% a follow-up question?
"Which planet do you live on?"
Duh, Mitt Romney killed bin Laden with the death lasers ATTACHED TO HIS HEAD.
That picture of Mitt looks like someone stuck an electrical appliance up his butt.
Mitt Romney IS an electrical appliance.
facepalm.jpg
Ohio: Mississippi with snow and worse food.
This just means that 15% of those polled didn't have enough integrity to say "Hell, I have no fucking idea what you are talking about at all. Next question?"
Can someone please update Mitt's Wikipedia page? Have it note that despite not holding public office since 2007, suggesting that it wasn't worth moving Heaven and Earth to find Bin Laden and having zero foreign policy experience, Mitt Romney is largely* credited with killing Osama Bin Laden.
And he gives himself a lot of credit for saving Detroit after he said to let it go bankrupt. What the fuk planet is this guy on? Oh yeah, Kolob.
Same 15% who think Mitt is already President.
4. Shooting that closet commie from the grassy knoll before he could turn the country over to the Viet Cong.
15% of Ohio Republicans think their penis is longer than 3".
Judging by Ann Coulter, those are the Republican women.
No. 47% said "unsure" which includes the vanishingly small number who really didn't know as well as all the fuckwits who just can't say anything positive about Obama.
47 fucking %
That leaves 38% of Ohio Republicans with some tenuous thread connecting them to reality. More than I would have thought, I guess, but damn.
Oh great, but if I suggest that half of our citizens are too stupid to be allowed to vote, somebody's sure to write "Say, you know who else thought his citizens were too stupid to be allowed to vote?" and I don't think I would like the comparison. Sheesh.
Oh thanks for giving Gov. Nathan "Let's Make a Deal" Deal bragging rights. Only 14% of Georgians believe this.
It's polls like this that make me think there needs to be Literacy Tests for white Republicans…
This does wonders for my confidence in Americans' fitness for self-government.
So now we have actual data on precisely how many people you can fool all of the time.
Derp.
Mitt Romney personally slew the entire British army with the claymore of William Wallace in the battle of Wounded Knee during WW2. By his side were Ronald Reagan and whoever is politically convenient at the telling of this comment, saving him from a surprise ambush of Japanese kamikaze fighters.
Normal people do not look down on Republicans simply because they have different opinions like the Republicans claim. They look down on them because they think these opinions are facts and well, because they have really, really stupid opinions.
i bet if you took a survey of the same people the pecentage of people that think there's an actual – man in the moon – would be higher.
That picture can be used again when Mittens gets caught in the whirlwind of defeat.
Nice country.
Is everybody that stupid?
I'm from Ohio. Hogs and corn and dipshits as far as the eye could see.
I fled that state as soon as I could.
Sorry, Buckeyes, but you've just been demoted back to territory status, and your new name is "East Indiana" or "Western West Virginia." Your choice.
If they are stupid enough to believe that Romney killed Osama, maybe the Obama campaign can counter with the propoganda that "Mitt Romney did 9/11." Just sayin''…
Mitt Romney killed Osama Bin Laden in his pajamas. How OBL got in them is your guess!
"we will shortly be selling “Mitt Romney: History’s Greatest Warrior” figures, which will include, among other things…"
You forgot to add George W. Bush in his flight suit with bulging package and the Mission Accomplished banner with him. What exactly he accomplished is anyone's guess.
At least we'll know who to blame if Romney wins.
15% of Ohio Republicans think "Psycho Killer" is funkier.
This should make everyone happy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCpekvOkwNM
The funkiest of art school nerds, indeed! I saw them on the tour from which "Stop Making Sense" was made, it was a funk steamroller.
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