MANY HAPPY RETURNS  1:30 pm September 10, 2012

For Bill O’Reilly’s Birthday, We Will Do It Live

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Bill O’Reilly, it is your birthday! You are 63 years old, maybe! Your friends at Wonket wish you the happiest of birthdays, and many felafels in your future.

Bill O’Reilly, national treasure, unless you are a young lady with big boobs who works for him.
[TheSmokingGun]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 181 comments }

ChernobylSoup September 10, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Ew.

One_who_wanders September 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

No two letters have ever been so needed and universally echoed.

WVUer21 September 10, 2012 at 1:32 pm

…and after reading that, my penis is now just for show.

M. Bouffant September 10, 2012 at 4:26 pm

My isn't even showing any more, it's crawled so far back in.
(May have something to do w/ age too, but …)

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 10, 2012 at 11:40 pm

It is for something else?

ChernobylSoup September 10, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Naked Bill O'Reilly in the shower with naked Rupert Murdoch.

Enjoy lunch everybody.

sewollef September 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

bastard!

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Now I get to enjoy it a second time!

YouBetcha September 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Best appetite suppressant ever. Can you come over to my office and repeat this to me next time I'm about to shove a cupcake down my gullet?

metamarcisf September 10, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Intravenous de Milo?

Wadisay September 10, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Oh god, who's going to clean this barf off my keyboard/monitor/opposite wall?

Preferred Customer September 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

You should go get some falafel. It'll scrub that right up.

SmutBoffin September 10, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Falafel goes in, falafel goes out.

Can't explain that.

JohnnyQuick September 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

After reading that, falafel's going off the menu for a few months. Sometimes getting older and forgetting shit easily is a good thing.

emmelemm September 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Intravenous wine. What an ingenious idea!

Oh, did I say ingenious? I meant rapey.

Self-Uploader September 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Is that legitimate rapey or the other kind?

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I know. I read that and hit the roofie.

BloviateMe September 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm

"Argh."

Crap, look at the mess on my keyboard.

SexySmurf September 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Did you spill your motherfucking iced tea?

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I can never look at the word "Argh" the same again since reading about its use in 50 Shades of Grey.

Joshua Norton September 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm

You are 63 years old, maybe!

So that's like a million in dog years.

Mittens Howell, III September 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Happy birthday, Bill! I bought you a Loofah!!

KeepFnThatChicken September 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Asshole breathes in, asshole breathes out. Never any miscommunication.

Hammiepants September 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Fucking great, now my brain needs to shower. With lye and a wire brush.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

FRONT ROW SEAT!

Wait…it's not Trix doing it live?

Um, err, oh, I think I hear my laundry is done!

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Oh good, just in time to put the new, barfy load in.

FakaktaSouth September 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Well cool, now I know what to read when I want to stop thinking about getting naked.

He is really terrible at this. I mean really really terrible, I can't imagine how terrible he must be in real life. And how does one "basically" get in the shower? Water would just get everywhere. I'm thinking more "Psycho" than ANYthing with a falafel or any other Greek food abomination.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Maybe he FORTRAN's in his shower?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I bet he wishes he could get some RUBY in his shower.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

It was proably just a data dump. I'm sure he falafeled that right up.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

The notion of his "spaghetti" code will make you lose your lunch.

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

No pythons involved. Also, I really don't want to think about the production of perl in this context.

COBOLlocks, too late.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I give this comment a C++

bobbert September 10, 2012 at 4:01 pm

COBOLOL.

GeorgiaBurning September 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm

ouch.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I had to do FORTRAN and WATFIVE, I think it was called, on a fucking punch card reader. There was a pelican inside the computer, and it would peck out the holes in the cards when the gerbil-wheel spun the cards by.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

You were looky!

When I learned FORTRAN, we had to handcode our punchcards using a hedgehog.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

The card punch machines were in one building, and the card reader was in another building 2 blocks away. If there was an error in the 5th card, it fucking stopped there, you did a 4 block round trip to fix the 5th card, then it would find the error on the 17th card. And so on, and so on. It was like a nightmare. Like a creepy Jarmusch movie.

FakaktaSouth September 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

What you just said there? All that shit I have no idea about? Gerbils? Pelicans? Pecking? Still hotter than anything BillO came up with.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Old computers, they did not have keyboards, you punched holes in 3" by 8" cardboard cards, each card was a line of code. Then you took your stack of cards, making sure you had them in the right order, and put them in the card reader, and this was how the "mainframe" computer read and hopefully executed your program that you wrote on a couple of hundred of these cards. But it would usually take 10 attempts to get it to run right because, any mistake in your hole-punching, any card out of order, and the machine "tilted." Do you kids know what "tilt" means anymore?

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Let's face it. He's hopeless at Smalltalk.

kittensdontlie September 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm

While falafel is an aquired taste, I am glad he didn't mention baklava.

b[redact]opple September 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Falafel isn't Greek.

FakaktaSouth September 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I knew someone would have to say that. Aight, I'm sure he meant GYROS, whatever.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Remember this name: L'As Du Falaffel, ask me about this. Street food heaven.

FakaktaSouth September 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Ooooh, okay, definitely.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Its Greek to me! Shakespeare! Like a fucking Boss, as my 12 year old says all the time.

FakaktaSouth September 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Like A fucking boss? Is that what he says? I don't know man, that doesn't sound right. I am old as fuck right now though, that's all I know.

Self-Uploader September 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I just had to cancel my vacation to Tel Aviv. I'll never eat falafel again.

BloviateMe September 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Replace falafel with ham biscuit, and this could be a memo from Lindsey Graham to Chris Christie.

…and, I guess, replace wine with gravy.

OkieDokieDog September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Red eye gravy.

BloviateMe September 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

…soon to become brown eye gravy (Santorum for short).

larrykat September 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

He was referring to those Ben-Wa Matzo balls probably.

sbj1964 September 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Rumor has it Sean Hannity got Alan Colmes to pop out of a cake naked for Bill.Apparently Bill really does like Fucking Liberals.Literally!

Poindexter718 September 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

In yer shower, abrading & exfoliating yer lady parts….
How is it even possible that these guys have a gender gap?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

It's this kind of abrasive commentary that rubs me the wrong way.

bobbert September 10, 2012 at 4:11 pm

It is rather coarse, innit?

SmutBoffin September 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

All harrass-y-ness aside, this is kinda the most boring fantasy ever.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Spoken like a true Boffin of Smut.

jqheywood September 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Oooh..I may have to use that…

Callyson September 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

The truly scary thing is, he probably edited his real fantasy to make up something he thought would be appealing to a lady. Eew…

SmutBoffin September 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Fuck no, he did it LIVE.

emmelemm September 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

That's exactly my thought.

ColHeightsChic September 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Mine tastes better with hummus in it.

Mittens Howell, III September 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Replace falafel with fried chicken, and I'm in.

what?

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

"the fried chicken thingy"

Hmm.

kittensdontlie September 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

A water-absorbing foodstuff would be more appropriate, like a packet of instant rice..?

CivicHoliday September 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Uncle Ben's 5-minute dildo

miss_grundy September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

or ramen noodles

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Are you going to use the breast or the leg? Because they are going to hold different amounts of oil and in the hot water environment of a shower, size counts.

You know what they say, "lube it or lose it".

Mittens Howell, III September 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm

You people are disgusting. I'm just hungry, is all.

Kid_Charlemagne September 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

12 Shades of Lame.

YouBetcha September 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Do not want.

Lazy Media September 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

50 Shades of Soap

jqheywood September 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

There is no amount of soap of any shade that will wipe the images from my brain.

RadioX September 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm

BOOB LIBEL!

SayItWithWookies September 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I'm proud of ol' Bill for finally coming out — as an idiot, that is.

LibrarianX September 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I may have shudders all day. Bleh.

Oblios_Cap September 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

O'Reilly needs to be fixed up with Lorena Bobbit.

DaveJ September 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

WORST PHONE SEX EVER.

How does he sext? "OMG R U basically sorta wet for me rite now? Essentially LOL, you know."

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Now I am gonna basically do a kinda clit-rubbing thing, with this oven mitt, but you know, like a gentle thing, cause I know how to treat a lady, I won't give you no blisters! Boom, ayyyeeee, yo.
I swear its Dice Clay

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Gonna spray you down with some Pam non-stick spray, or one of those olive oil spritzers, until you're kinda glistening, and then I get out my spatulas.

NorthStarSpanx September 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Pinhead.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

It would explain his many wives.

NorthStarSpanx September 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

And the very definition of the sanctimony of marriage(s.)

Kid_Charlemagne September 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Billy O' puts the "rot" in Erotica!

anniegetyerfun September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Yes, because every woman wants her private parts scrubbed with a loofah.

BloviateMe September 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I'm sure it gets better when you go a few rounds and start callousing up.

kittensdontlie September 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

If your showering with O'Reilly, you're going to feel dirty and in need of a good scrub.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Well, maybe not "scrubbed" but gently ground to a fine sheen?

SheriffRoscoe September 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Relax, baby. I'll be done here in a minute.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 10, 2012 at 11:48 pm

To be truthful, I always found if you want to really turn on a women, you have to go with steel wool.

RuinedLiver September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

To be honest my nipples do get hard every time I hear O'Reily's voice. I can't help it, I love cruel men.

YouBetcha September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Is O'Reilly's wife still shtupping that cop? I bet the arresting officer fantasy puts this one to shame.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Its a thing to ponder on, why is it that all the heroes of the right are raging psychopaths.

sewollef September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

We have a great Yemeni restaurant in my neighbourhood of Brooklyn…. Yelp raves about it, as does Urbanspoon, even The New York Times has written up a glowing review. We've eaten there a few times and enjoyed spectacular food.

Their Fassolia is amazing, but I also used to enjoy their falafel. Not anymore. Thanks a bunch Beccs.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Yemeni you stopped eating their signature dish?

I probably rode past it yesterday during the tour. Is it the one in Sunset Park?

sewollef September 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm

No, it's the one in Bay Ridge, right around the corner from Bay Ridge Avenue subway stop.

Called Bab al Yemen. Yelp reviewers rave about it…

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Oh, by then we were out on the Verrazano Park bike path.

But I'll keep an eye out for that place. I love middle eastern and south Asian food.

Baconzgood September 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Time passes people get older. You can't explain it.

YasserArraFeck September 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I don't always molest my employees in the shower, but when I do, I use a felafel.

Stay horny, my friends

Estproph September 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Ann Coulter will never be the same after having her and Bill's private fantasies revealed this way.

Baconzgood September 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Now I want to get lunch at the Libyan place across the street.

Oblios_Cap September 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

63 year old? See – this is why we need Death Panels. Ride the Carousel, bee-yatch!

GeorgiaBurning September 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Thankfully he didn't have a camera phone

bibliotequetress September 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Bill O'Reilly has never had sex.

Gleem McShineys September 10, 2012 at 5:12 pm

You know when you touch spectacular boobs and they feel like a bag of sand?

Steverino247 September 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Fuck it!

TootsStansbury September 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Whoops! There went my lunch!

T3rbo September 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

he said "loofa mitts." That is fucking hot?

SheriffRoscoe September 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Who orders wine from room service. Fuckin shit is expensive. Plan ahead, bring something from Costco. Douche.

YouBetcha September 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm

We dated, didn't we?

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm

You really like to date some losers.

Can I get your number?

YouBetcha September 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

(651) 379-0444

jqheywood September 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Well-played…well-played, indeed!

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm

*dialing*

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Yea, but you can't charge that to FOX News as a business expense.

"Employee evaluation"

pdiddycornchips September 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Not if you expense it back to FoxNews World Headquarters.

Employee outreach—-$1856.89

Caelan Aegana September 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Nonono. Do not douche with wine, Costco or otherwise. That is right next to genital-rubbing-with-loofah on the do not do list. Aiyee.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

This makes me more scared of my shower than that Psycho movie.

MadBrahms September 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Cut his mic! Cut his mic!

Callyson September 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

If I were on the receiving end of BillO's monologue, I'd want to cut something else off (with votes!)

M. Bouffant September 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm

You want to cut off his hanging chad w/ votes? ++meta!

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

What was this suit all about? Phonesex malpractice? Did she get damages for her pain, suffering, douchechills and total skeeving? Do you think it ever got through to Bill, that he was doing it wrong?

BlueStateLibel September 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

No, I'm sure it never entered his dense head that he's such a creep. She however got a lovely Manhattan condo.

BlueStateLibel September 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

He was 63 like about 20 years ago.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

The most glaringly stupid thing was that all noise about getting "two wines" into her, stat, by intravenous if necessary. Stupid Bill, its not a GOOD thing that chicks need to be drunk to submit to your awkward pawing attentions. And on top of that, Bill is no mean slouch, he sells himself short, thinking a chick is only going to need TWO wines, to get drunk anough to fuck him. Bill is, like judge Smails, a tremendous slouch, and it would take at least TWO BOTTLES, maybe, for a normal female to submit to his date-rapey clutches.

Oh, wait, ok, he just didn't mention the rufie he was gonna put in the wine.

SheriffRoscoe September 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Drunk sex is never as good as sober sex. Not anywhere near as good. Not that a man like Bill O'Reilly would be able to appreciate the difference. FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT SOBER.

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Usually the "drunk" cancels out the "sex."

cromiller September 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Of course I had to have Middle Eastern for lunch today.

savethispatient September 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

"I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies." – Zapp Brannigan

LibertyLover September 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I'll bet he's already slugged down his cialis cocktail… But I wonder who will he celebrate with? Did not his wife leave him for some strapping young police Detective?

Jus_Wonderin September 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

This is creepy. Excuse me while I take a cat bath.

Callyson September 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Aaaaand I won't be needing a masturbation break today…

One_who_wanders September 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Or anytime in the foreseeable future.

MistaEko September 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

He never gets what he really wants on his birthday:

Staffing authority for the Long Island Police Department

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

That would be the Nassau County Police Department, in Bill's case.

poorgradstudent September 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I will read a rape-filled ultraviolent novel in his honor.

prommie September 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

He has all the charm and appeal to the ladies as fellow Long Islander Andrew Dice Clay.

"So den I do like a teasin' move on your pussy, Ohhhhhhh!, I hear yah!"

FakaktaSouth September 10, 2012 at 2:53 pm

"You ever fuck a fat pig? it's like a ride on the wet and wild." That is my auto-Dice tourettes response whenever Andrew is mentioned. He's a fucking charmer and now HE's a fat fuck.(And then I smoke, but, all flashy-like.)

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Thank God they developed a vaccine for him in time.

CivicHoliday September 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

oh goddamn it I just HAD to read this as I was sitting down for lunch. *pushes away plate of fried chicken*

Blueb4sinrise September 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Hey, we kid ya Bill, but it's all in good fun.
Deep down in our hearts we really HATE YOU YOU LYING, SHIT-EATING FUCKWAD!!!!!!!!!!

RRoccoco September 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I haven't touched a loofa in years because of this creep.

Boojum September 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I would like to get to know Bill O'Reilly better. I think the best way to do that would be from across a table, under oath, on cross examination.

pdiddycornchips September 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Why Rebecca? Why? Were there no other famous people born on this day to snark about? Yes, yes there were other famous people born on this date.

Rin Tin Tin—born on this date in 1918

Louis Alexandre Piccinni, composer—Born on this day in 1779

Charle Kuralt—Born on this day in 1934

Roger Maris, famous Yankee baseballer—born on this day also in 1934

Joe Perry of Aerosmith—born on this day in 1950

Colin Firth, actor—born on this day in 1960

Why subject us to thoughts of naked wingnuts in fancy hotel showers all soapy and gross? And on the eve of 9/11 no less!

Jus_Wonderin September 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Bill's shower fantasy. Never forget!!!

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Tried to.

randcoolcatdaddy September 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Old age and the accompanying difficulties with erectile function couldn't happen to a more appropriate person.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

This is really bothering me. I feel like I need a shower but the thought of a shower is turning my stomach. Thanks a whole bunch, editrix.

iburl September 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Cool, I have admin options, must be cuz its my bday too

One_who_wanders September 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

About to set a new p record?

iburl September 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Unfortunately, the only power I seemed to have (it's gone now) is to forcibly end commenting on an article.

proudgrampa September 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

what?

Nostrildamus September 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Get funky with Mastah O'ReillyZ dance remix:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppum72Zqxq8

barto September 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

His sexual fantasies are actually worse than his journalistic fantasies, go figure.

One_who_wanders September 10, 2012 at 3:14 pm

To call them juvenile would be to insult 13 year olds.

DahBoner September 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm

maybe intravenously

Wine junkie!!!!

Guppy September 10, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I think the takeaway from all this is that, when you can rely on fame and/or influence to get your tail, you don't have to actually be good at the sexytime thing.

Chet Kincaid_ September 10, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Is that an email from actor212?

fuflans September 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

this must be what todd akin was talking about.

ttommyunger September 10, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Bill-O is an old perv? No news here, Bill-O has always been an old perv, always.

Gleem McShineys September 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Vomiting is a climax, in a sense. THANK YOU SEXY BIRTHDAY BILL

emmelemm September 10, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Well, it's a release, anyway.

azeyote September 10, 2012 at 7:23 pm

after reading these posts all i have to say is – the horor of it all.

Negropolis September 11, 2012 at 2:21 am

Two words: Andrea Mackris.

That is all.

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 2:03 pm

It didn't Tcl you?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I see what you did there, because I'm sharp.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

It was your accent. You said it with a LISP

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

It couldn't escape your .NET?

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Oh. You're onto my scheme.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Nah. The Garbage Collector walked in.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

DOS is true, ja.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

It's what commoners do.

actor212 September 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

That unfortunate we weren't because the mainframe was in the keypunch room (or right next door, actually). However, getting the mofo op to get off his fat ass and run the batches….

Pot helped, but the fuck bogarted.

jqheywood September 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Yeah, well I dropped my 3 trays of data cards and SPSS job cards that comprised the bulk of my research for my senior thesis down a stairwell and into a puddle made of melted snow right before my deadline. Thinking about it again 30 years later makes me want a scotch. Or a bunch of scotch. Or Irish whiskey. Or beer. But not wine, because then I might end up in a shower with Bill O'Reilly….

Hey fellow geeks, do you think there is an O'Reilly book on FALAFEL programming, and if so, what animal is on the cover?

FakaktaSouth September 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Like in pin-ball? I know what bending over is, tilting, not so much.

sullivanst September 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

You nixed my fun.

HistoriCat September 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I know what bending over is

Now you're just teasing us!

RALitherland September 10, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Fat-Arsed, Loud, Arrogant Fuckwit Emulation Language? The only language designed for FIGO (facts in, garbage out ) processing? I think the cover's a chihuahua trying to hump a lady's leg. Or a pink fairy armadillo, I forget which.

Isyaignert September 11, 2012 at 3:02 am

Sorry about your college woes, but it does make a great story.

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