The Romney Campaign Wants You To Believe, Media

  we have always been at war with new mexico

who's your baghdaddy?It has been a bad weekend for the Romney campaign, what with the DNC going reasonably well for a massive propaganda event that involved Martin O’Malley.

The solution to this slight downward slide? An insane memo to the media from the campaign’s pollster informing them of just how awesome everything is, like the Facebook statuses you put up right after a breakup to insinuate that you are balls deep in hot persons and laughs and fun and rainbows.

You may go to the link to read the entire thing, but here is the critical takeaway:

1) This campaign is just like Carter/Reagan in 1980, minus the third-party candidate and Reagan’s charisma and the malaise speech and the Iranian hostage situation and everything that could possibly make it similar. But there was a poll showing Carter ahead!

2) The Romney/Ryan campaign is running a campaign, and in the history of political campaigns, every single winner has run a campaign. QED, victory.

That is about it.

BONUS:

Another Romney adviser shares his conspiracy theory on why Obama has any lead at all:

“It’s horses**t. Nobody in Boston thinks we’re going to lose. We’re in a tight race. We had a 4-5 point bounce after our convention and it evaporated when they had theirs. Now they have a 4-5 bounce. It’s going evaporate in September. We feel good about the map. We’re up with advertising in Wisconsin and I think North Carolina is going to come off the board. On Ohio, they’ve been spinning for months now that it’s out of reach.

There was a Columbus Post-Dispatch poll last week that had it 45-45.

That’s a more accurate picture of the state of the play there than any of the spin. PPP has these polls that just put chum in the water for the media. Sometimes I think there’s a conscious effort between the media and Chicago to get Republicans depressed. And I hope our friends realize that all these media analysts out there are Democrats WHO WANT US TO LOSE. And the more Washington DC controls our economy, the more important inside-the-beltway publications are and the more money they make.  The 202 area code is dominated by people who will make more money if Obama is reelected, so it’s not just an ideological thumb they’re putting on the scale for him, it’s a business interest.

I actually think the other side is in a panic. You look at New Mexico closing up. And  they’re not above 50 in any of their target states. Look, we’re raising money, they’re raising money, and it’s tight. This is a dogfight.  But the numbers actually point to a romney win barring something unforeseen.”

THE MEDIA ANALYSTS WHO ARE DEMOCRATS WANT US TO LOSE TO CONTROL OUR ECONOMY.

[Buzzfeed]

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189 comments

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      OMG! Obama is running a campaign, Q.E.D. he's gonna lose!

      See, that's the nice thing about being a Republican, you get to have it both ways, all the time, because FOX News viewers are teh stoopid, Q.E.D.

      1. mmeetoilenoir

        These are people who have an RNC head named Reince Priebus, for fuck's sake. You think McKay Coppins is that far out of possibility?

        Since GOPhers are about as exciting as boiled milk, they have to do SOMETHING to make themselves speshul snowflakes.

    1. IceCreamEmpress

      Nobody in Boston is voting for Mittens.

      I did see some Mittens signs in Pride's Crossing. But even there, the norm was Scott Brown and Richard Tisei signs with no Mittens sign.

        1. MacRaith

          There are a couple of people in Arlington who are voting for him. A handful more in Belmont. Couldn't speak for Somerville.

      1. Terry

        The only people they're likely to talk to in Boston are employees of Bain and members of Mitt's old Mormon stake.

        1. viennawoods13

          But not that woman who was a member of his whom he tried to strong-arm into giving up her son for adoption.

    2. GunToting[Redacted]

      I live in Arizona, and I've seen 2 Romney stickers around here. I know that the state will go R-Money, but NOBODY here is excited to vote for him.

  1. LastGasp

    This is a dogfight. But the numbers actually point to a Romney win barring something unforeseen.

    Yep, I sure hope reality doesn't make an unexpected appearance.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      You'd think they advisor of a guy who strapped the family dog to the roof of the car would avoid canine-related terms.

  2. Callyson

    We had a 4-5 point bounce after our convention

    According to whom? Rasmussen? Because every real pollster showed that the GOP "bounce" was dead flat after that empty chair opener in Tampa…

  3. Oblios_Cap

    The 202 area code is dominated by people who will make more money if Obama is reelected, so it’s not just an ideological thumb they’re putting on the scale for him, it’s a business interest.

    In case you wanted to know what the GOP platform based on, it's summarized in this sentence.

    1. Preferred Customer

      The 202 area code is dominated by people who will make plenty of money no matter who's elected.

        1. actor212

          I dunno. Think about it for a moment: who made the quickest rise in lobbying these past four years?

          Dick Armey and the Teabagger movement. Karl Rove. Freedomworks.

          Yes, all those folks are rooting for an Obama victory, the silly Democrats.

      1. JohnnyQuick

        I believe they're referring to those blah people carrying enormous ghetto-blasters, just roller-skating thru Gallup's offices.

  4. EatsBabyDingos

    I legitimately acquired a Romney yard sign over the weekend and chopped it up to say "Rmoney." I was mowing yesterday when a guy stopped in his "Realtor" Lexus, and was informed that I had either stolen a sign or fraudulently modified a copyrighted logo, and he threatened to call the police. I told him he could kiss my Honey Boo Boo ass.

    1. PsycWench

      Well, that would have been a really good use of police time. Glad these guys have their priorities straight.

      1. tessiee

        I almost wish Dingos had handed that ass monkey his cell phone and said, "Go ahead, knock yourself out", just to see the looks on the police officers' faces.

    2. NellCote71

      Mr. Realtor (TM) Lexus has the moral authority because his ilk has done so much for us in the recent past.

    3. Weenus299

      Did you explain to the nimrod that if it's a lawfully acquired sign on your own property, he just has to sit on it and rotate?

    4. AbandonHope_

      Gosh, somebody had better inform every single satirist that has ever lived about that "modifying a copyrighted logo" law.

    5. Isyaignert

      Excellent! I have been wanting to do the same thing (to my neighbor's sign).

      BTW – Doesn't the Romney logo look like a giant blue scythe attacking a red person?

    6. Steverino247

      At one time, the Army came out with a bumper sticker that read: Don't Stop Now. Re-enlist. It took no time at all for that to be modified to: Stop Now. Don't Re-enlist.

    1. Weenus299

      Yeah, my vomit index is waaay down, indicating that I can watch GOP bullshit on television and not want to blow chunks.

  5. PsycWench

    I understand that Baghdad Bob is working on the Romney campaign.
    Edit: I just realized that I have restated the purpose of the photo at the top, Guess I'm begin ADD today.

  6. no_gravity

    If things are going so well why did Romney and the Super Pacs pull all the advertising from Michigan and Pennsylvania? Unless of course they think they have those states in the bag.

    1. tessiee

      "why did Romney and the Super Pacs pull all the advertising from Michigan and Pennsylvania?"

      You don't become Mitt Romney rich unless you love money, I mean Mr. Burns level obsessed with money. If they stopped spending money in Michigan and Pennsylvania, it's for a reason.

  7. ManchuCandidate

    Nobody in Boston thought the Red Sox were going to lose the Wild Card last year or Patriots lose the Super Bowl against the Giants either.

    One campaign complains about the methodology, called the Mafia.
    The other campaign complains about reality, called ??

  8. Eve8Apples

    "you are balls deep in hot persons and laughs and fun and rainbows."

    Is Biden campaigning at another biker bar?

  9. zumpie

    If you really want to be entertained go on something like Yahoo! News. A VERY neutral piece about Obama now leading elicits all sorts of Puggie butthurt. Lots and lots of "the only poll that matters is the one in November" (yes, when Mittens implements his crying program), "there are more thumbs up here for pro-Romney comments" (because nothing's more definitive than white cracker freepers' delighting) and, of course, polls have librul bias/the librul media/Obama is teh evil.

    Speaking of Carter v Reagan, as noted above, that was one poll. All the other polls showed Jimmy consistently losing starting in May.

  10. sbj1964

    I would like to say Obama is going to win,but the people of America are still the same people that elected George W.Bush TWICE!

    1. zumpie

      Only once (the Supreme Court selected him the first time) and I even question that (voter suppression, etc..). Plus we have a better guy now. Also, too

    2. proudgrampa

      Well, I for one share your shot of reality. I am very worried and will continue to be worried until February.

      1. Nothingisamiss

        Another upfist for worry. I am surrounded by crazy down here in Georgia and it's hard to believe it won't win again.

  11. FakaktaSouth

    Nobody in Boston thinks we’re going to lose.

    Please do not disabuse this poor southern girl's notion of all the smart people in Boston, I can't take it. (Yes I know about east boston and buses and all, i'm just saying, you know, over all) And plus, do not confuse these people's willingness to LOVE a loser like the Red Sox with any kind of irrational belief in Mitt Romney. (we are red sox fans here, do not argue with me)

    1. Terry

      "Please do not disabuse this poor southern girl's notion of all the smart people in Boston, I can't take it."

      Cambridge is balanced out by Southie in many many ways.

      1. IceCreamEmpress

        The old Southie people hate Mittens.

        The new Southie people used to live in Cambridge.

        Rich golf-playing dudes in the suburbs might vote for Mittens, but that's it. He is going to lose Massachusetts by a landslide.

  12. BloviateMe

    Supply-side polling doesn't work either, you silly goobers. Can you feel my contempt trickling down upon you? I bet you can.

  13. zumpie

    Oh, they're also now pointing out that well Dukakis got a 17 point post convention bounce and lost. You'd think they'd be embarassed that even Dukakis managed to get a significant bounce and they didn't.

  14. SexySmurf

    Nobody in Boston thinks we’re going to lose.

    The people Mittens is paying to run his campaign thinks he's going to win. Well, I'm convinced.

    1. Pres.Beeblebrox

      I don't want to concern-troll, but Gary Johnson (ex NM gov and Libertarian Prez candidate) is pulling 7% of the vote in NM, which is not only way high for a Libertarian, which usually pull 0.5% to 1.5%, but will also siphon votes away from Bams. Add to that a batshit Republican governor and Bams could in trouble there. Or, I could just go have a drink and forget about it.

      1. metamarcisf

        I believe that is an Albuquerque Urinal poll. The Urinal is a noriously right-wing paper that belongs in Arizona or Texas. On the other hand, maybe Romney is getting a groundswell of support from the Breaking Bad crowd in the South Valley

  15. SayItWithWookies

    It's hard to have a successful campaign running on the issues when your candidate renounces every stand he's ever taken up to yesterday, then denounces his running mate's votes in the House and then his campaign staff says he doesn't know what he's talking about. But it sure as hell is an interesting one.

  16. Callyson

    And Mittens? You'll have to do better than "New Mexico is in play because Obama only leads by five points instead of double digits, like he did in 2008" to scare us. And I'll see your North Carolina and raise you with Ohio…

    1. Steverino247

      Plus, states like Tennessee and Georgia are still in the "leans Romney" status when they should be so Red that Lenin would be hard just thinking about it.

  17. deanbooth

    OT: My company was bought today by a company that is being bought by Bain Capital. It would make for a great 3-fish cartoon. Romney must have been angry at my Wonkette comments.

  18. TootsStansbury

    I hope Mitt loses and loses big. When he does, I will laugh. Like this HA.HA.HA.HA. all empty and soulless like.

  19. 1stNewtontheMoon

    Nevermind that the appearance of a close election is awesome for a media that has been following this shit for years. Not months, years of republican campaigning. It'd look kinda bad if after all that shit you saw Mitt getting clobbered with no real hope of a win. same story in 2008. per the coverage there was a real question out there. in the end? Hopey Smash!

    See Boss? we didn't just waste oodles of cash following a doomed campaign from the beginning. all those mouthbreathers had to watch something when American Idol and America's Got Talent were on hiatus.

    in other news, we don't think we're going to lose.

    1. doloras

      Vital point there. The MSM *want* this to be a close race because their profits depend on hyping people up. Actually, same goes for both campaigns.

  20. barto

    Just don't ask Rmoney to take a position on whether he wants to win or not, he'll say something confusing and then give his little laugh that makes us ill.

    1. tessiee

      I'll never understand how somebody so constantly ill at ease about EVERYTHING went into politics in the first place.
      Romney is a total puss who's afraid to take nude showers, for chrissake.

  21. NellCote71

    I will be interested in the post-election book(s) about the Romney campaign. We Dems don't even need to get out of bed. The Romney campaign geniuses have done all of our work for us.

  22. sewollef

    "Nobody in Boston thinks we’re going to lose."

    Not lose where? Massachusetts…. his operators thinks the republicans are going to win MA?

    What. Is he fucking insane as well as dumb?

    Sorry, it just came out…. a bit like vomit from a gopper.

  23. Guppy

    And they’re not above 50 in any of their target states.

    When has that ever mattered? We've been relying on plurality voting since forever.

    If you wanted such elections to require majorities, well, you had at least six years to fix that.

  24. randcoolcatdaddy

    I'm still convinced Romney's trying to loose on purpose so he can take all those boatloads of sweet campaign cash on a very personal tour of his Cayman Island estates.

    It's like "Springtime for Hitler", except, in this case, the show really has closed on page six.

      1. randcoolcatdaddy

        I just finished reading the post on the Wonkette Philadelphia get together. I'm still feeling woozy from smelling all that alcohol in the room.

  25. zumpie

    Oh, also, too—PPP (which is admittedly slanted in the Dems favor when they want to rev them and slanted against them when they want $$$) now shows Obama leading in NC. I honestly think Robme WILL win there, but it's still fun to watch!

  26. OneYieldRegular

    Clearly the polls are wrong, because Mitt Romney's supporters are all ideologically pure and don't care a fig about their own business interests.

  27. tessiee

    "This campaign is just like Carter/Reagan in 1980, minus the third-party candidate and Reagan’s charisma and the malaise speech and the Iranian hostage situation and everything that could possibly make it similar. But there was a poll showing Carter ahead!"

    You know the pubs are in deep doo doo if they're comparing themselves to Jimmy Carter.*

    *Not that I, personally, have anything against Jimmy Carter, but they've spent the last 30 years painting him as history's greatest monster, most epic fail EVAR!, etc. etc. — so if they're now trying to reverse that, they're not even grasping at straws, they're grasping at an inch of dental floss.

  28. Troglodeity

    I would have loved it if he'd said "Most of us in Boston still don't think we're going to lose" or something like that. That would at least have had the refreshing whiff of truth about it.

  29. tessiee

    "Nobody in Boston thinks we’re going to lose."

    I find this strangely hard to believe — but then, I don't personally know anyone in Boston.
    Would any wonketteers from the noble state of Massachusetts (especially those who lived there when Romney was governor) care to weigh in on whether Romney is considered wicked good, wicked bad, wicked retaahhded, or wicked pissah there?

    1. Steverino247

      Drove through it in July and noted not a single sign or bumper sticker for Romney. A few for whoever's running for Senate on that side. Most support was for Warren.

      1. IceCreamEmpress

        Scott Brown (the Republican Senate candidate) has strong support and it's going to be a tossup*; most of his support is not in Boston but in the rural and exurban areas of the state.

        But I see a Romney sign on maybe 1 in 5 of the houses with Scott Brown signs. Even Massachusetts Republicans don't like Mittens.

        *Which sucks, because Elizabeth Warren is incredibly awesome and I have never been more starry-eyed about a candidate before.

    2. proudgrampa

      I was there about thirty years ago, in Boston in the middle of a nor'easter. It was freakin' COLD. And no rich Republicans in sight.

    3. IceCreamEmpress

      Wicked bad. Hated by everyone except stone racists and country-club Republicans. Seriously, hated. Hated a lot.

      As I said upthread, I saw almost no Mittens signs, even on houses that had signs for the Republican Senate and House candidates. I saw several houses that had signs for Senate, House, and the RNC official "Get Out and Vote" sign and still no RMoney sign.

      He is strongly disliked here.

  30. chicken_thief

    "The 202 area code is dominated by people who will make more money if Obama is reelected, so it’s not just an ideological thumb they’re putting on the scale for him, it’s a business interest."

    I thought Romney was the jerb creator….

  31. PinkoPopulist

    1. Run for president.
    2. Raise boatloads of cash.
    3. Claim you're ahead despite all evidence to the contrary.
    3.?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
    4. PROFIT!!!! (No seriously, profit, because corporations are people too my friend).

  32. poorgradstudent

    If only Bain can buy out Mittens' campaign and load it up with debt…unless that was Mittens' plan all along?

  33. larrykat

    I can't wait for the "several Romney campaign advisers have quietly started lining up post election jobs in the private sector" articles which should start appearing after the first debate.

  34. proudgrampa

    "You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

    I personally believe the Romney advisors have swallowed a whole lotta blue pills.

    I have my red pill in reserve…

  35. Abernathy

    "The 202 area code is dominated by people who will make more money if Obama is reelected, so it’s not just an ideological thumb they’re putting on the scale for him, it’s a business interest."

    People voting for the candidate who shares their beliefs and economic interests? Horseshit! The Republican way is to vote *against* for your own interests.

    1. PinkoPopulist

      As the GOP is telling the job creators "vote for us and we'll cut your taxes and you still won't have to create any jobs! Those fucking plebs still believe in trickle down economics!!!! RAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

      So yeah, people definitely shouldn't ever vote their economic interests…

  36. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    I'm glad to hear that Chicago is still in the mix. Must have something to do with our outstanding public school system.

  37. ttommyunger

    Not to worry, Mittens will always have the Red Neck/Shit-Kicker/Moron/Racist/Mormon Vote, even if he dies prior to November. BTW, Montel Williams is selling something on the teevee over my 'puter screen. What a fucking Country!

    1. IceCreamEmpress

      Everybody in Boston thinks the Red Sox suck this year. They also know that RMoney sucks this year and every year.

      RMoney won as governor because people were all "Oh, the state legislature is 97% Democratic, maybe a Republican governor will keep them from endless cronyism and what-not" and of course they were wrong. Disclosure: I voted for Bill Weld when he ran and won for that very reason, so I wasn't making that same mistake again with Mittens.

  38. DHarcavy

    The newspaper in Columbus, Ohio is the "Columbus Dispatch," not the "Columbus Post-Dispatch." Maybe he was thinking of the "St. Louis Post-Dispatch." Well, close enough for the Romney people, I guess. He was off by only two states.

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