We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.
Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
[AP]
{ 168 comments }
I just want it noted that this picture was taken in Seaman, Ohio.
Seaman, Ohio. They put the dumpster in…
The Onion becomes reality.
Thank god for the Secret Service.
I reckon Joe could hold his own against those two bikers, but the rest of the bar might be a challenge.
Meh, Paul Ryan once beat up a bar full of bikers — or at least that's the story he's sticking to.
He can't do real bar brawls any more because of his back. His back's real bad, y'know? Now he'll just take on a couple of guys in the parking lot.
Uh oh…I don't think Joe's gonna get a nice bear hug from the two dudes.
Nah nah, man, I don't think you understand 1%er culture; they were simply about to haggle over who gets seconds and who has to do the first foot long rail of speed off her back.
That biker on the right doesn't look too happy Handsome Joe is feeling up his woman.
They both don't.
Biker 1: He's touching your woman. You want me to cut him?
Biker 2: No, I'll give him 3 steps for the door then I'm gonna smash him with a pool cue.
/cue "Bad To The Bone"
"Three Steps For The Door" is a Skynrd anthem – probably not Joe's base.
Dude drives a Camaro. I think it's in his comfort zone.
Actually, I have it on good authority that "Gimme Three Steps" is a call for non-violence. Supposedly (per my redneck husband) it was written to urge belligerent meatheads (often rednecks) not to have bar fights.
The original Lynyrd Skynyrd was pretty liberal, actually-songs like "Things Goin' On", "The Ballad of Curtis Lowe". They mixed rock, country and blues to come up with their sound, and their message was, "yeah, we're white Southerners, and we're proud, but that doesn't mean we're ignorant, racist trash." When they reformed with Ronnie Van Zant's younger brother Johnny and some of the survivors of the plane crash, it was the '80's, Raygun was president, and it was cool to be an ignorant racist again. Sigh.
Oh, wait a minute, Mister
I didn't even kiss her
Don't want no trouble with you
And I know you don't owe me
But I wish you would let me
Ask one favor from you
Oh, won't you give me three steps
Gimme three steps, Mister
Gimme three steps towards the door
Gimme three steps
Gimme three steps, Mister
And you'll never see me no more, for sure
…and I'm a-tellin' you son, that it ain't no fun,
Starin' straight down a .44.
Also, it cracks me up that the girl's name is Linda Lou.
Looks to me like the young dude on the left is giving Joe the eye, and wondering when it's his turn! Tickle ME, JOE!
Notice what that guy is wearing: His vest says "President","Ordained Minister" on the left, and then "Troll" on the right.
Replace "Minister" with "Bishop" and he's got the same titles President Romney would have.
He does look a bit unhappy, but I figured that it was because he was apprehensive about the contents of the Baggie in his pocket.
If VPOTUS is in the room, she ain't your woman. That's just how it is with the biker hierarchy thing.
Biden is restoring the honor & dignity of the office as hasn't been seen since Levi Morton.
I love it– what a shot — the twos guys are making eye contact like 'can we take this guy and the secret service' what a classic.
Did the VP caravan pull a Jerry Reed on the way out?
Where are Joe's hands? WHERE ARE THEY?!?!
Who knew Joe was into scooter trash?
I wondered that myself.
Zoomed the picture up to 400. Couldn't find his hands, unless that's one of them on the biker's leg.
See Mitt Romney? This is how you connect with people.
Mitt doesn't have a lot of experience with "reverse cowgirl."
Rafalka libel.
My nose just did an impression of an espresso machine.
there's not enough Purell in the world for Mitt to get anywhere near that crew.
Pee… pul? Mittbot knows not what you say.
The only connecting Mittbot does is via RJ-45.
SCSI
I was thinking 300 baud serial – there's no other way to explain the lag.
"Rest assured that if I wanted to look at poor people, I'd do so through a powerful telescope." — C. Montgomery Burns
A chicken in every pot and a lapdance in every garage?
I thought it was a trans-am.
Certainly not a 70's vintage front-wheel drive Caddy convertible.
A pair of them, at that.
'67 Corvette libel!
Is the 67 Corvette the one with the split back windshield?
[liking vintage cars = my only non-girlie characteristic]
Apparently the split window was '63 but JB's 'vette is a convertible so no fixed rear window anyway.
"a trans-am"
With the big phoenix [?] painted on the hood.
God, I love this motherfucker (and for all the reasons people hate him).
Nobody actually hates him, they have just tried to manufacture an image of him as a buffoon that is as realistic to his accomplishments as the idea that Obama is a moron who can't talk without a teleprompter.
As is so often the case, The Onion has lapped reality.
There's an article supposedly written by Paul Ryan, titled somethng like, "Admit it, I scare the crap out of you": http://www.theonion.com/articles/admit-it-i-scare…
It was seriously creeping me out, with stuff like:
"How scared are you that I can convince people I’m right? Because I’m good at it. The American people love that shit. They love it. Hell, I get Democrats to vote for me even if my policies make zero sense when it comes to their livelihoods."
Then I got to this part:
"just wait until I absolutely wipe the floor with Joe Biden in the vice presidential debates. Don’t think for a second that I don’t know you’re terrified of us facing off, because in the back of your mind you know it could be a bloodbath up there."
And I actually did a snorty laugh.
I thought, "Get over yourself, Rapey-Eyes! You might charm the racists and the dumber one-third of horny women, but if you're dumb enough to think you're a match for Joe Biden, those debates really WILL be a bloodbath!"
Ryan outsmarted himself with the universally-acknowledged cavalcade of lies in his convention speech. That is great ammunition for Biden. And as Joe proved in his convention speech by personally going after Romney about their respective fathers and the auto industry, Biden will not hesitate to take Ryan over his knee.
Yeah, it will be kind of interesting as to whether Joe goes old man v. kid (spanking) or old man v. punk (straight jabs to the face followed by an uppercut) against Ryan. Either way, I don't think Paul has a clue what he's about to get into.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro
"As your lawyer, I advise you to tell me where you put the drugs."
Bad craziness
Ha Ha! Lets see you top this Paul Ryan.
He just wants to give her a 2 wheel pony ride.
Where are his colors????….
You can take the boy out of the Trans Am, but you can't take the Trans Am out of the boy. And now I want to be in the car with Rebecca S Thompson. Good Chirst.
I know, right? I want to be the Samoan attorney.
OZA is the subject of my most favoritest paragraph HST ever wrote. I also like how he never died, he just vanished.
Out with it, then. I met HST, I was such the earnest young geek, I went to all the ostentatiously intellecutalist lecturey events back at Gainesville, before the flood.
Um, WHAT? WHAT? Why why why why are you just telling me this now? Of all the words to put together in a sentence "I met HST" should always be your first choice.
I "met" HST. Stopped at the Amoco station in Aspen. There was a Jeep up on the lift with four bent wheels. I'm thinking … could it be? …. Naaah, but when I walked back into the front office, I noticed a guy, hunkered down in a third-world squat, with aviator sunglasses, mumbling like a schitzoiphrenic. The Man.
Hell, I'd settle for being the Okie hitchhiker who "Hot Damn!…Never rode in a convertible before!" — you know, the one with the admirably shaped skull.
Like a true common child
He was born, born to be wild
He can act so high
His legend will never die
Joe Biden's wild
Joe Biden's wild
Of course, the equivalent photo of a Republican politician would involve an underage rent boy.
Joe is, after all, a professional…
You know pretty much each and every one of us all only comes here to write/pretend like we are HST, Becky Goodhead. Damn its almost meta to actually ADMIT it.
Becky Prettyhead, actually.
Gutkopf just doesn't have the same ring…
Nicehead, too.
My mind is now blown.
My mind on HST.
Gary Trudeau's blatant, no-value-added theft of his persona as "Uncle Duke" pre-ruined HST for me.
I didn't think Harry S Truman was really that into drug culture.
If that was Paul Ryan behind her, I'd advise her to check for puncture wounds in her neck and to have herself tested for herpes.
he really shouldn't be messin' with Smitty's Old Lady.
Hunter S Editrix?
What is the difference between a Harley Davidson,and a Eureka vacuum cleaner?The placement of the Dirt Bag.
Regular boots and biker boots?
Regular boots have the crap on the outside.
Somehow, I'm thinking Uncle Joe can afford a better looking lapdancer…
It's still better than Jimmy Swaggart could manage.
Frances Swaggart
Jill Biden
Yes, but Joe already has a smokin' hot lapdancer available.
Joe is making me wanna go buy one of those retro camaros. I did always want to have me a bitchin' camaro, so I could drive to the Bahamas.
Bahamas? Why think small? I want to drive it to Hawaii!
Did I get that wrong? Well, it was on purpose, yeah, thats the ticket, I purposely said it that way, for ironic effect, yeah, thats it. Its an obliquely fractured Paul Ryan pathological liar reference.
No, you got it perfectly right.
My sister lives 3 doors down from Leggets, the sand bar referred to.
"Did I get that wrong? Well, it was on purpose, yeah, thats the ticket"
I *meant* to do that!" — Pee Wee Herman
I think that is a fantastic idea. You could have DrGonzo on your hand made license plate and forget about the motorcycle thing. Wouldn't wanna break anything.
OMG now I gotta find out if thats available!
I do think that something Yossarian-related would be more "me" as far as the license plate. You know in the end, Catch-22 shaped whatever the fuck I am more than anything, that and Cats Cradle.
Oh Lord. You are ever so earnest, and no matter what people say you were not on the plane when it crashed, I understand. I'll be DrGonzo then, suits me just fine.
Poor Doc Daneeka.
I was once interviewed by a recruiter for the federal government, who asked me to name my favorite book. I hemmed and hawed for quite sometime, trying not to say Catch 22.
Kinda like saying "By the way, I am pathologically cynical and regard all bureaucracies as mindless idiotic criminal soul-crushing clusterfucks, so please hire me to work in your bureaucracy."
I like the expression on the guy at left. He's clearly lookin' at Smitty like, "Dude, I *know.* WTF?!?!"
Here's the article, if you missed it:
SEAMAN, Ohio — Vice President Joe Biden cozied up with a female biker during a stop today at Cruisers Diner.
The Associated Press snapped this photo of the vice president sitting behind a female biker while he talked with her and two other male bikers looked on.
According to the campaign, the bikers were part of a group called the “Shadowmen,” but there were no other details on who the female biker was or what sparked the conversation between her and the vice president, because the pool had been escorted out of the diner before the encounter.
A second AP photo showed Biden grabbing the female biker’s shoulders.
When Biden entered the diner, he approached three diners seated at a counter and asked if he they’d lend him one of their motorcycles, according to the pool report.
“Can I borrow one of your bikes? They don’t let me ride anymore,” Biden said.
“Probably not,” Jeff Cook, one of the diners, said.
The vice president responded laughing, “Probably not.”
"Do you want me to show you a really big fucking deal, darlin'?"
OK now, make my life complete with some Joe Heller references, Rebecca! I will just be sitting here in this tree, naked, waiting.
"I see everything twice!"
His name is Yossarian, mom.
Ou sont les Niegeons d'antan?
Yeah, it's not like Major Major Major Major writes here or anything.
If the biker's old lady is like the women I watch on Sons of Anarchy, they can kick their old man's ass and mop the floor with Joe.
Yeah, don't let her get her hands on a skateboard, for sure.
Guy on the left is Kinda Impressed: "Handsome Joe's got game!"
Dude on the right is sure what's going on: " Mah ol' lady is flirtin' with a Suit. Should I be getting pissy about this?"
There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge.
Where can one get that shit?
how good are your chemistry skills?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytdO3YzXNkQ
found a source, not sure how reliable:
http://www.abchomeopathy.com/shop.php
Not that hard. Dehydration of ethanol using a small amount of sulfuric acid as a catalyst. Dean-Stark trap, condenser, round bottom flask.
Suck sour eggs, Paul Ryan. Handsome Joe is *ours*!!
A VP Hillary would not have done anything so crass.But oh man, if she had…
I can see the tabloid headlines now…
Hillary Shacks Up With Meth-Dealing Biker In Sturgis
Bill: "Yeah, I Kinda Had That Coming"
So, are we talking:
a) Hillary sitting on a (male) biker's lap?
b) A biker sitting on Hillary's lap?
c) Hillary sitting on Joe Biden's lap?
All of them, Katie.
While the Tea Party whackaloons keep painting Barbra Streisand portraits.
Tell me this, what Vice-President do you all know that would drink out of a straw? A straw.
Pussy.
Come on, this picture is a fake. A fake I tell you… the straw is a dead-giveaway.
Goddamnit I just blew a snot bubble at that shit.
Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats.
No point in telling him about them, he'll find out soon enough.
It's never a bad idea to get the biker vote.
I think she was the first Miss Buffalo Chip.
Or runner-up for Ms Sturgis.
If you get into the ether, I'll want to hear about it.
How luminiferous of you.
The AP link doesn't work. Which I assume is in error, though I can understand boycotting them after their "factcheck" of Obama's convention speech. (FACT: The AP no longer knows what a factcheck is!)
Literally!
"That's why I love these biker chicks. I keep gettin' slower. They keep staying in the same gear."
All right all right all right!
That photo should be considered to be the visual definition of the term "Stink Eye".
She would probably eat him alive…….just sayin'……..
Joey Biden, how much do I truly love him!
I'd sit on his lap, fer sure.
LMAO. No doubt which guy is the alpha male of the group in that photo.
That? Oh, I've got a rock in my pocket..
Trix let Joey drive? As I tweeted when I first saw this pix: I just know a turn signal is blinking and not an intersection in sight for miles…BTW, that place looks way to clean and well-lit to be a biker bar. I'll email "Becca an inside shot of Mulligans. I report, you decide. /Users/thomasunger/Desktop/IMG_0079.JPG
Joe would never expect his wife to be a prop with the bikers like old man McCain.
Old Man McCain should have let daughter Megan be the biker prop; I have a feeling that would have made him a LOT more popular with them.
Apparently Dr. Jill can hang with Joe's Rolling Thunder Tour, to a point: Whoa, Joe.
Actually, she's not sitting on Joe's lap.
Joe seems to be saying, "Wow…women in leather chaps. I mean, I never…wow…I just never thought of that before."
I'm pretty sure those 2 biker dudes would have kicked the crap outta Joe Biden had it not been for the Secret Service presence…at least that's how I read their facial expressions.
He's thinking "I love the smell of biker chicks in the morning". Ok…I was thinking that.
At least Joe's family jewels are in the United States…
The younger of the two biker men? Guy on the left wearing a sleeveless gray T-shirt?
Look at the expression on his face.
He is SO IN LOVE with Joe.
a pint of raw either
Just a pint?
Frugal Chemistry…
I'm going to be putting Joe on the back of my bike and heading for Sturgis.
I was at Biden's speech Saturday in Athens, OH, where he fondly remembered getting escorted out of a Ohio University Women's dorm back in 1963.
"Two words, Babe: Free Abortions!"
"Do you want me to show you a really big fucking deal, darlin'?" https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-apiUGiGlYAw/UE…
Love the biker chic's reaaaaalllllly happy smile. I guess you spend most of your life with a guy named Troll on one side of you and another named Slic on the other side and then one day you find yourself in a roadhouse sitting on the lap of way cool and smooth Joe Biden whose main ride is Air Force 2 and he whispers something in your ear that starts your eyes twinkling because he just made you feel like Miss America and even while it's happening you get this great big smile because you know your life is never going to be any better than that moment but you don't care because at least you had that moment.
A political picture which makes a Politician (The Vice President of U.S.), look more evil and lurid than the two wannabee Hells Angels. I gotta say, brilliant.
vice President
I am so curious about what is actually going on in that picture and who is behind Biden (you can only see part of their arm).
That is one of the most interesting photos of the year. There's a lot to look at, it's well composed while still un-posed, it invites curiosity about the participants, and it makes you wonder what happened next.
Oh for a loaf of bread, a pint of ether, & thou …
Just got to say "hi" while he signed my book. Not like we tripped and spent three days hallucinating and writing the great american novel together only to burn it in the fireplace when a bout of paranoia struck us and we became convinced the manuscript was going to murder us. I got Abbie Hoffman to write a note addressed to my parents, telling them not to worry about me because, as the note said "He has joined us."
I lost all this shit, of course.
In Saturday Night Special they call for throwing all handguns in the sea, before some old fool come around here, and put a bullet in you or me, so being the only pro gun-control southern boogie rock band, that makes them pretty liberal.
Teh awesome!
I bet I could have gotten him to let me shoot one of his guns. Or maybe just let me ride off into the desert with him until he realized I was actually really there. As it is, I am impressed with anyone who has been in his rarefied air space. You're old.
Forgot about that one. I grew up in J-ville, and I remember seeing "Leonard Skinner Realty" signs when I was a kid. (Leonard Skinner was a gym teacher at Robert E. Lee High School, and once had Ronny Van Zant and the other boys suspended for having long hair. As a joke, they called the band "Lynyrd Skynyrd", and their debut album was called "Pronounced leh-nerd skin-ner". By that time, Skinner was a realtor, and they put a pic of one of his signs on the album cover, complete with phone number. Skinner used to get a lot of calls from stoned rednecks.)
Now tell us about The Outlaws!
Indeed. To make matters worse, she herself was in the army. So I would have been expressing my disdain for the military as an instrument of war as well.
I read it once while IN the army (after having read it on my own, and twice more in Lit classes before getting drafted). That was a very upsetting experience leavened only by sweet Turkish hasish.
My father had been telling me genuine WWII snafu stories for years before I read it. Mostly though he told me about how they could brew hootch out of anything, absolutely anything with sugar in it. And did.
He really did have problems.
I'm sorry to break this to you, but that was NOT Hunter Thompson.
It was his evil twin brother, the Dalai Lama.
Google images of them and you'll see I'm right.
Paul will outrun him.
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