party time! excellent!

Yes We Are Inviting Old Handsome Joe Biden To Our DC Wonkette Drinky Thing Tonight

Joe BidenO hai it is time to come to our party in Washington, DC, because it is tonight (Saturday), at like seven. If previous attendance rates hold up, there will be 10 of you drinking our beer and eating our vittles. (Fishbowl DC said calling our Charlotte Drinky Thing “a party” would be “generous,” because of course they did.) So, you know, don’t come if you don’t want to, DC! YOU DON’T HAVE TO.

In fact, you probably should not come, so San Francisco can continue to hold the Drinky Thing attendance title with their ’bout a hundred people.

Here is where you should not come, tonight, at seven:

The Bottom Line
1716 I (Eye) Street NW
Washington DC 20006
202-298-8488
Red Line to Farragut North
Blue and Orange Line to Farragut West
Saturday, September 8 – 7 p.m.

On deck are Philly on Sept. 11 and NYC Sept. 13. We will update with places and et cetera when we bother figuring that part out. The End.

OR IS IT? From commenter Dean Booth, just cold breaking the news!

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Joe would make the Getting Drunk With Wonkette a big fucking deal plus he'd be the entertainment.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    You can discuss this interesting video, which shows how George Romney was a apparently a welfare queen:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9URgSaqrps&fe…!

  • memzilla

    Is alcohol a necessary part of breaking teh Intertubez, or just a bonus?

    Will Joe Biden be a guest commentator for teh Wonket, and, if so, how much will Editrix charge him for the privilege?

    • slithytoves

      Joe Biden is THE original commenter!

      • memzilla

        I also hope that Joe will share with Editrix the secret access codes for the Federal Windowpane Depository in Bezerkeley.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    Coast to coast; polish that bar rail with your vest and make it back to LA soon. So sad to have missed the first drinky thing. P.S. Should Drinky Crow be the event mascot?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Madame Editrix, looks like you have fixed your intertubes. Did you use the Ted Stevens repair manual?

    • eggsacklywright

      It's an oldie but goodie:

      ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth
    • Arborista

      I shore do hope Bo, Luke & Daisy said it was okay to 'borrow' the General Lee?

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      But then they crashed the car and got rid of Newell. https://picasaweb.google.com/11400799981044075510

      • commiegirl99

        You guys are the greatest. I love you.

        • BTWBFDIMHO

          Yes!!

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Awesome!

      • berkeleyfarm

        That's got my vote for Wonkette Meme of 2012. unf unf unf

  • RadioX

    Amongst us, there is no such thing as a gaffe.

    • Angry_Marmot

      But there is the implicit rule, "don't blow the gaff."

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Please let us know if Joe is coming. I'd get on the Acela for that.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I'd fly up from DFW. Would pay to attend that. Okay, a few buck, but I will pay.

  • IonaTrailer

    And can we pleez haz a drinky thing in Lost Angeles someday?

    • anniegetyerfun

      They haven't HAD that yet? Doesn't Rebecca live there?

      • commiegirl99

        LA got the very first one! Everyone else was so mad!

        • anniegetyerfun

          Thank goodness I have a short memory. Due to the drinking.

        • Callyson

          I'm still hoping for an encore–a post-election victory party. I'll kick in for some of the beer costs if that helps…

          • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

            Me too, except for kicking in for beer.

        • Boojum

          It wasn't MAD, so much as hurt, and envious, and the feelings of inadequacy, like maybe their buildings weren't the right height.

          • Guppy

            The term you're groping for is "butthurt."

          • Boojum

            That's IT!

        • Biff

          How about Barstow, then? I'd travel as far as Barstow.

    • Juan_Oriley

      What about that Bukowski dive bar tour of San Pedro? I might just drag my ass out of the desert for that.. Maybe Ken Layne would come too because banks are snatching houses up in his neck of the Joshua trees.

      • IonaTrailer

        Yes! The Bukowski Memorial Bar Crawl in Pedro. The Rebel, Indian Room,The Spot, June's, Harolds, Godmother, Enigma (formerly Dancing Waters) !

        And definitely a post-election celebration so we can toast Romney's defeat!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Should I be embarrassed to admit that I don't know who is driving the car?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Oh, it's Jim! Sorry, Newell, but you're just slightly less famous than Joe & Becca.

      • anniegetyerfun

        He doesn't take nearly enough photos of himself in sexy red dresses, if you ask me.

        • Boojum

          No, no, really, that one time was plenty.

  • sbj1964

    Gee,I don't know D.C. is a ruff town.The highest crime rate in America Murders,thieves,cutthroats,prostitution,rape,and infidelity,and that's just Congressmen. I don't think it's safe.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      It's okay. In D.C., we keep the politicians in fund raising containment cages.

  • kittensdontlie

    For those attending, please keep an eye on our dear Editrix. Acid has only one use, and that is for cleaning out the Wonkette INTERNET Pipes(we have seen how they clog), and is not for INTERNAL use (and god forbid she is eating those little desiccant sachets too). Please follow package directions more closely. We worry….

  • Barbara_

    I would like to give a shout out to Rebecca's liver. You've been a champ!

    • Boojum

      Rebecca has the liver of ten men!

      I hope they are in the freezer….

      • HistoriCat

        Now we know where that "woke up in bathtub filled with ice" internet legend began.

  • ttommyunger

    Hope he does, and brings Dr. Jill with him. Have a BALL!

  • 05c40

    At least DC Fishbowl mentioned the fried chichen at the Wonkette drinky thing in Charlotte!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey
    • RadioX

      I can't wait to put a few mimosas on Joe's tab.

      • Boojum

        Joe's tab will have LSD-25 on it already.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    It is a well known fact that acid corrodes the tubes in the internets.

    • eggsacklywright

      Unless it's pure LSD-25. That stuff makes the tubes all sparkly.

  • keepwalkin

    In the picture Joey looks elated to be next to editrix whilst Jim seems annoyed.

    I find myself fapping wondering at the possible explanation.

    • eggsacklywright

      It's all about jobs, jobs, jobs. Or so I hear.

  • Hera Sent Me

    I heard Joe can drink 24 cans of beer without barfing.

    Hope our editrix's credit card has a high limit.

  • Callyson

    Is that a police car behind you guys? Quick, hide the stuff!

    • Arborista

      No worries- it's just Boss Hogg. He won't catch 'em.

  • Boojum

    Have fun, DC. It ain't the quantity, it's who you know…or something like that.

  • freakishlywrong

    Unleash the editrix! And the Biden!

    "Release" stupid. Sorry, not drunk yet..

    • Boojum

      I don't know, Kitty with a whip and a leash is working for me.

  • MadBrahms

    Yeah, so I'm in New Delhi for the month. Free warm Kingfishers for anyone who wants to watch the first debate.

    I eagerly await the next Editrix Trip Report.

  • Guppy

    And just now, DC got slapped with a severe thunderstorm watch, through 10 PM.

    • ColHeightsChic

      F-ing anti-Wonkette conspiracy. Obama should apologize.

  • RRoccoco

    Quaffing brewskis with Joe the Hammer Biden reminds me of a joke I just wrote. Stop me if you've heard this one before:

    Mitt Romney walks into a bar.

    • Geminisunmars

      He says "Bartender, I'll have a Coke."

      • RRoccoco

        That would violate his Mormon faith, which forbids caffeine.

    • eggsacklywright

      If you subscribe to the philosophy of Davy Crockett, when one walks into a bar, the bar will rip your face off.

      • Boojum

        Unless you done kilt it first.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      with a Jew and a Protestant.

    • just_a_head

      Paul Ryan ducked, then offered him a health care voucher.

      *Ba-dum-bump!*

      Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Just remember that if you're groped by a DPS officer…..

    “If you wouldn’t have been there that night, none of this would have happened,”
    sez Coconino County Superior Court Judge Jacqueline Hatch.

    Judge Hatch later said, "Ooops."
    http://azdailysun.com/news/local/crime-and-courts

    • Boojum

      You see, if Judge Hatch hadn't been up on that bench, wearing those slutty robes, she wouldn't have said stupid shit to people. So, she is kind of Exhibit Dickhead in this trial.

    • LibertyLover

      Up for re-election in 2014….

  • ThundercatHo

    So, Jim didn't quit? Good on you Trixie for using your feminine wiles to convince him to stay.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    I think it's really cool the way you get to write off binge drinking as a business expense.

    I somehow imagine you in a slinky Hollywood Golden Era gown, draped across a piano with a glass of champagne and saying things like "oh no, please don't ask me to sing", even though nobody has. Kind of like that SNL skit.

  • ColHeightsChic

    You know that DC folks will lurk in the corner so as to not have their photos taken. Because, ummm, we're all very super duper important here and cannot be seen cavorting with the likes of Wonkette. (Look for me, the super hot girl (in my mind), hiding in the corner.)

    • gullywompr

      Found you. Hiding in the corner. You were super hot.

      PS. Wasn't ol' Handsome Joe a riot? That dude had the whole place rolling on the floor, didn't he?

      • ColHeightsChic

        I laughed so hard that I think I peed a little. Totally worth the pat down from the Secret Service.

        Joe thinks I'm super hot too.

  • JohnnyQuick

    Fuck it, I'll be there. I just have to squeeze in a marathon.

  • GregComlish

    Oh fuck, I've been moving today and I only have 2 hours to return the truck, get cleaned up, and get my ass down to I st.

    <edit>Also I need to eat</edit>

    • Guppy

      Won't there be, y'know, food there?

      • GregComlish

        I was hoping to avoid the bar food.

        • finallyhappy

          In atlanta( bought it myself) – I had grilled salmon- it was good- I did not eat. TheTexas toast side dish. There were also chips & I thnk guacamole and hummus and salsa that Rebecca paid for( I decided not to try to stick her with my dinner bill as I still have a decent Pension- unless mittens gets in- then I'll be the craft lady at ac moore)

  • http://www.wonkette.com wsbloodystump

    So it's just gonna be ColHeightsChic, Editrix and me?

    • ColHeightsChic

      The word "just" should never be combined with "ColHeightsChic."

    • gullywompr

      It was larger than that. I really enjoyed talking to you. Sorry I couldn't hear you all that well with that damned speaker blaring in my ear all night that damned noise that the damned kids listen to these damned days.

      • ColHeightsChic

        Ah crap, I don't remember meeting any young gents (gals?) named gullywompr. I should pay better attention next time. But I'm sure I thoroughly enjoyed talking to you too! (Unless you were actually responding to wsbloodystump, in which case, :-(

        • gullywompr

          Well, nobody's accused me of being young in several years. I believe I was one of the oldest people there. We may not have met, in which case :-(

          • ColHeightsChic

            Or, perhaps, you actually introduced yourself with a human-type name?

          • gullywompr

            You're a generous person, trying to offer up an alternative & all, but I really am not a young. If you met a bearded guy with grey on the chin, that was me.

  • HistoriCat

    So … no pictures from Charlotte? Or was it so lame the pictures were destroyed out of embarrassment?

  • Nostrildamus

    I can tell from the pic our editrix has talented hands.

  • just_a_head

    Damn It! The ONE time I go out of town and you hold a Drinky Thing near home. Hmpf. The husband and I could have increased your attendance numbers by 20%.

  • Terry

    Sorry, folks. A big storm and Metro closures kept me in the suburbs.

    • finallyhappy

      Yes, my daughter took the s bus downtown to work and then told me because of the storm, took the shuttle bus from hell from DuPont to Noma. The last time I took a weekend shuttle w/ her she told me sales of prescription drugs were being discussed(not by pharma reps)- I had no idea-young people talk funny. I am out of town but I heard power was lost in various parts of MC & DC

  • thefrontpage

    That was a great time at The Bottom Line Saturday night! Thanks for the free drinks and the free food, and the trivia contest was fun!

    I was glad to see that most of the women who attended did not wear bras!

    I was also extremely thankful for that late-night bathroom stall lap-dance and "happy endings" massage by Wonketter "Kandi Chokolate Apples." That was fun! The Bottom Line has some very private bathroom stalls! And those guys in the next stall–try to sniff and snort a bit more quietly when you take those "ski trips" on those "snow-covered" mountains!

    Thanks for taking the party about 1 a.m. to Good Guys, Camelot, J.P.'s, The Royal Palace and The Hung Jury! That was a blast! J.P.'s is truly one of the classiest, most stylish strip clubs in the entire Washington, D.C., metropolitan region!

    That was a fun night!