Yes We Are Inviting Old Handsome Joe Biden To Our DC Wonkette Drinky Thing Tonight

  party time! excellent!

Joe BidenO hai it is time to come to our party in Washington, DC, because it is tonight (Saturday), at like seven. If previous attendance rates hold up, there will be 10 of you drinking our beer and eating our vittles. (Fishbowl DC said calling our Charlotte Drinky Thing “a party” would be “generous,” because of course they did.) So, you know, don’t come if you don’t want to, DC! YOU DON’T HAVE TO.

In fact, you probably should not come, so San Francisco can continue to hold the Drinky Thing attendance title with their ’bout a hundred people.

Here is where you should not come, tonight, at seven:

The Bottom Line
1716 I (Eye) Street NW
Washington DC 20006
202-298-8488
Red Line to Farragut North
Blue and Orange Line to Farragut West
Saturday, September 8 – 7 p.m.

On deck are Philly on Sept. 11 and NYC Sept. 13. We will update with places and et cetera when we bother figuring that part out. The End.

OR IS IT? From commenter Dean Booth, just cold breaking the news!

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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92 comments

  1. memzilla

    Is alcohol a necessary part of breaking teh Intertubez, or just a bonus?

    Will Joe Biden be a guest commentator for teh Wonket, and, if so, how much will Editrix charge him for the privilege?

      1. memzilla

        I also hope that Joe will share with Editrix the secret access codes for the Federal Windowpane Depository in Bezerkeley.

  2. SigDeFlyinMonky

    Coast to coast; polish that bar rail with your vest and make it back to LA soon. So sad to have missed the first drinky thing. P.S. Should Drinky Crow be the event mascot?

    1. eggsacklywright

      It's an oldie but goodie:

      ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.

        1. Callyson

          I'm still hoping for an encore–a post-election victory party. I'll kick in for some of the beer costs if that helps…

        2. Boojum

          It wasn't MAD, so much as hurt, and envious, and the feelings of inadequacy, like maybe their buildings weren't the right height.

    1. Juan_Oriley

      What about that Bukowski dive bar tour of San Pedro? I might just drag my ass out of the desert for that.. Maybe Ken Layne would come too because banks are snatching houses up in his neck of the Joshua trees.

      1. IonaTrailer

        Yes! The Bukowski Memorial Bar Crawl in Pedro. The Rebel, Indian Room,The Spot, June's, Harolds, Godmother, Enigma (formerly Dancing Waters) !

        And definitely a post-election celebration so we can toast Romney's defeat!

  3. sbj1964

    Gee,I don't know D.C. is a ruff town.The highest crime rate in America Murders,thieves,cutthroats,prostitution,rape,and infidelity,and that's just Congressmen. I don't think it's safe.

  4. kittensdontlie

    For those attending, please keep an eye on our dear Editrix. Acid has only one use, and that is for cleaning out the Wonkette INTERNET Pipes(we have seen how they clog), and is not for INTERNAL use (and god forbid she is eating those little desiccant sachets too). Please follow package directions more closely. We worry….

  5. keepwalkin

    In the picture Joey looks elated to be next to editrix whilst Jim seems annoyed.

    I find myself fapping wondering at the possible explanation.

  6. Hera Sent Me

    I heard Joe can drink 24 cans of beer without barfing.

    Hope our editrix's credit card has a high limit.

  7. MadBrahms

    Yeah, so I'm in New Delhi for the month. Free warm Kingfishers for anyone who wants to watch the first debate.

    I eagerly await the next Editrix Trip Report.

  8. RRoccoco

    Quaffing brewskis with Joe the Hammer Biden reminds me of a joke I just wrote. Stop me if you've heard this one before:

    Mitt Romney walks into a bar.

    1. eggsacklywright

      If you subscribe to the philosophy of Davy Crockett, when one walks into a bar, the bar will rip your face off.

    2. just_a_head

      Paul Ryan ducked, then offered him a health care voucher.

      *Ba-dum-bump!*

      Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week!

    1. Boojum

      You see, if Judge Hatch hadn't been up on that bench, wearing those slutty robes, she wouldn't have said stupid shit to people. So, she is kind of Exhibit Dickhead in this trial.

  9. Joshua Norton

    I think it's really cool the way you get to write off binge drinking as a business expense.

    I somehow imagine you in a slinky Hollywood Golden Era gown, draped across a piano with a glass of champagne and saying things like "oh no, please don't ask me to sing", even though nobody has. Kind of like that SNL skit.

  10. ColHeightsChic

    You know that DC folks will lurk in the corner so as to not have their photos taken. Because, ummm, we're all very super duper important here and cannot be seen cavorting with the likes of Wonkette. (Look for me, the super hot girl (in my mind), hiding in the corner.)

    1. gullywompr

      Found you. Hiding in the corner. You were super hot.

      PS. Wasn't ol' Handsome Joe a riot? That dude had the whole place rolling on the floor, didn't he?

      1. ColHeightsChic

        I laughed so hard that I think I peed a little. Totally worth the pat down from the Secret Service.

        Joe thinks I'm super hot too.

  11. GregComlish

    Oh fuck, I've been moving today and I only have 2 hours to return the truck, get cleaned up, and get my ass down to I st.

    <edit>Also I need to eat</edit>

        1. finallyhappy

          In atlanta( bought it myself) – I had grilled salmon- it was good- I did not eat. TheTexas toast side dish. There were also chips & I thnk guacamole and hummus and salsa that Rebecca paid for( I decided not to try to stick her with my dinner bill as I still have a decent Pension- unless mittens gets in- then I'll be the craft lady at ac moore)

    1. gullywompr

      It was larger than that. I really enjoyed talking to you. Sorry I couldn't hear you all that well with that damned speaker blaring in my ear all night that damned noise that the damned kids listen to these damned days.

      1. ColHeightsChic

        Ah crap, I don't remember meeting any young gents (gals?) named gullywompr. I should pay better attention next time. But I'm sure I thoroughly enjoyed talking to you too! (Unless you were actually responding to wsbloodystump, in which case, :-(

        1. gullywompr

          Well, nobody's accused me of being young in several years. I believe I was one of the oldest people there. We may not have met, in which case :-(

          1. gullywompr

            You're a generous person, trying to offer up an alternative & all, but I really am not a young. If you met a bearded guy with grey on the chin, that was me.

  12. just_a_head

    Damn It! The ONE time I go out of town and you hold a Drinky Thing near home. Hmpf. The husband and I could have increased your attendance numbers by 20%.

    1. finallyhappy

      Yes, my daughter took the s bus downtown to work and then told me because of the storm, took the shuttle bus from hell from DuPont to Noma. The last time I took a weekend shuttle w/ her she told me sales of prescription drugs were being discussed(not by pharma reps)- I had no idea-young people talk funny. I am out of town but I heard power was lost in various parts of MC & DC

  13. thefrontpage

    That was a great time at The Bottom Line Saturday night! Thanks for the free drinks and the free food, and the trivia contest was fun!

    I was glad to see that most of the women who attended did not wear bras!

    I was also extremely thankful for that late-night bathroom stall lap-dance and "happy endings" massage by Wonketter "Kandi Chokolate Apples." That was fun! The Bottom Line has some very private bathroom stalls! And those guys in the next stall–try to sniff and snort a bit more quietly when you take those "ski trips" on those "snow-covered" mountains!

    Thanks for taking the party about 1 a.m. to Good Guys, Camelot, J.P.'s, The Royal Palace and The Hung Jury! That was a blast! J.P.'s is truly one of the classiest, most stylish strip clubs in the entire Washington, D.C., metropolitan region!

    That was a fun night!

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