BANKSTERS  1:31 pm September 7, 2012

Wells Fargo Accidentally Forecloses on Wrong House, Throws Away Couple’s Precious Memories

by Kris E. Benson

you don't own your things, your things own you, manHello, would you like to hear a heartwarming story about banks? Oh good, because last week, a bank accidentally foreclosed on the wrong house and a nice middle aged couple lost everything that wasn’t nailed down and can never get it back, ever again. Sorry, precious memories, about going to the wrong address and all. Hindsight is 20/20, etc!

The owners of a modest home near Twentynine Palms lost their cherished possessions after a bank mistakenly foreclosed their residence. A crew broke into Alvin and Pat Tjosaas’ desert home and took everything after being directed by Wells Fargo to secure the structure.

Surely there is an explanation for this! Did the couple somehow miss the notice of default when it came in the mail? Were they out of town when the bank tried repeatedly to warn them that they had missed too many payments?  Ha! Ha! Ha! Nope, none of that happened–the couple didn’t have a mortgage because the husband helped his father built the house back in 1961.

Alvin said the deputy sheriff said, “Good news, we know who took (your possessions)…Wells Fargo. Bad news, your stuff is all gone.” …A spokesman for Wells Fargo released a statement apologizing to the couple.

“We are deeply sorry for the very personal losses the Tjosaas family suffered as a result of their home being mistakenly secured,” said Alfredo Padilla. “We are moving quickly to reach out to the family to resolve this unfortunate situation in an attempt to right this wrong.”

Yes, they are so deeply sorry that they broke into the wrong house and emptied it of all its stuff and then somehow lost it. But this nice couple should look on the bright side, because when Wells Fargo has mistakenly foreclosed on other people, lost or destroyed items include the family cat, and in this case, no animals were killed; just family heirlooms and precious memories.

[CBS]

 
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{ 472 comments }

Maman September 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Well so long as Wells Fargo is sorry, jeez, what else do you people want?

Antispandex September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

They are VERY understanding! I'll bet when some poor guy robs a Wells Fargo they are all like, "Hey dude, no problem, take some cash, just as long as you're sorry, guy".
That's compassionate conservatism!

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

A few million by way of damages, prolly. Fussy fuckers.

PsycWench September 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

They apologized and they didn't even get shot in the face!

CommieLibunatic September 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

What else do we want? How about the chance to beat them with our dicks until candy comes out?

Of Wells Fargo, I mean. Not our dicks. That would be fucked up.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Damn, er'body heah in some kinda MOOD today.

Arborista September 7, 2012 at 4:21 pm

The conventions are OVER & debates do not start until OCTOBER.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:11 pm

True. And the Masses are RESTLESS! I can't wait to watch Barry peel, slice, and arrange Mitt like a Japanese chef "flowering" a carrot. Mmm, mmm GOOD!

glasspusher September 7, 2012 at 5:28 pm

If ms glasspusher had a dick, she'd join you. She hated working for them :P

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Poor lady. Hopefully, she is now working for someone she likes better.

glasspusher September 8, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Unfortunately not. HSBC. “How Simple Becomes Complicated”

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:35 pm

*raises hand hesitantly*
I… would like a dick full of candy, please.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Boy, that would keep you happy for a while, wouldn't it?

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Did they at least leave cabfare on the dresser????

Maman September 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Nope. And they didn't even leave the dresser

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Well, maybe they left the cabfare but then repossessed it.

WhatTheHeck September 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

This presents a good opportunity for Wells Fargo to talk them into a mortgage they don’t need. Or a second.

Mahousu September 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Actually, they probably do need a mortgage now, what with having to replace everything they had.

Fortunately, Wells Fargo has developed a new loan product just for them, the "We're sorry!" loan. Act now, and Wells Fargo will pay all closing costs! (by wrapping them into the principal.)

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 6:14 pm

And only 2% interest … for the first 5 years.

grex1949 September 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Well, excuuuse me!

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I'll bet that's *exactly* what their "apology" comprised.

Zepster September 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Come on! Shit happens. I'm sure Wells Fargo will give them a voucher and some discount coupons.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I love that Nat'l Lampoon cover. Wut? Oh, yeah, give da stiffs a coupon.

Dimitrios_M September 8, 2012 at 8:15 pm

“We are moving quickly to reach out to the Tjosaas family to resolve this unfortunate situation, advising them of the extreme depth of our pockets if they resort to legal redress instead of graciously accepting the pittance we are offering to make our obligations to them go away.”

RedStatePinko September 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Roll back some regulations and call me in the morning.

fartknocker September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

And take two tax cuts – you'll feel better.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I was complaining the other day about housing prices where I live (whatever, I know, it could be worse) and my Republican friend tells me that it's the government's fault for not letting banks foreclose on homes. Of course, there are hundreds of foreclosures in my area, and they've been empty for years because banks simply don't give a fuck.

When I hear about stuff like this, it makes me want to slap a banker.

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

It's the government's fault that it is weak enough to let the banks write their own regulation, as in mark to make-believe valuations on the assets backing loans. If the banks didn't get to keep the foreclosable houses on their books at full value, they'd foreclose in a heartbeat.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Remember NINJA loans? No Income, No Job or Assets. That's what bankers were doing a mere 20 years ago. Don't know if you caught the story, but after pissing and moaning about Obama's new regulations on credit-cards, the bankers ungraciously admitted some time last week that default rates are the lowest they've ever been, thanks to tightened criteria for credit. Those fuckers. It should have been front-page news.

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

But the banks can do no wrong! I was banging my head against the wall when a friend who listens to Limbaugh kept insisting the mortgage crisis was because the government forced the banks the banks to loan to people who couldn't pay them back, and couldn't grasp the concept that, no, the banks had given bad loans to people on their own without any government involvement.

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Fannie and Freddie were banned from backing subprime. F&F's foreclosure rate on their worst portfolio was ~4%. Wall Street PRIME mortgages foreclosed at rates of ~5%. So the government's worst was still better than the free market's best.

Yes, it all sucks. But the other thing to point out is 80 years of history and F&F only get into trouble after they are privatized. If they had continued to be run by some poorly paid accounting geek gov employee with no bonus for pulling short term crap. None of the shenanigans would have happened. Give them the same incentives as bankers and gee, look what happens.

/rant off

HistoriCat September 7, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Preach it!

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Yes, as I understand it, the core of deception in this lunatic view is the Community Reinvestment Act, which required banks who take deposits in a community to make a certain number of loans *in that very community*. The main incentive was to insure that this happened in minority communities.

However, CRA loans *were not* subprime loans. People who got them needed to pass the usual stringent tests – 20% or more down payment, no unpaid off debt, etc etc.

Yet by the usual Republican non-logic, the CRA loans become risky. People who got them "couldn't pay them back". Of course, banks made many irresponsible loans to people and businesses that couldn't pay them back. But that had no connection to the CRA.

Yet somehow, Limbaugh and his listeners are convinced that the recipients of CRA loans were irresponsible and couldn't pay the loans back. That they were bad risks. Even though there's no reason to think that was so.

Could it be there's something about the appearance of the Limbaugh stereotype of the CRA recipient that makes this flatly false claim plausible to them? I wonder what that could be……

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

They even had a filthy hack (Ed Pinto) produce a grimey piece of propaganda masquerading as research to justify their bloviation. The CAP rebutted him quite thoroughly.

UnholyMoses September 7, 2012 at 4:19 pm

The process to which you are referring was called "redlining."

Banks would — literally — draw red lines around certain areas. If you lived in one of those areas, you were AUTOMATICALLY turned down, regardless of credit worthiness. (I work for a good-guys, small community bank that took zero bailouts 'cause they didn't need 'em.)

The CRA put an end to that by requiring banks to serve — not loan money, necessarily, just serve with a branch or what have you — underserved/underbanked communities, and do much in their communities.

Sadly, there are many ways around actually doing that and still stay in compliance, tho hopefully that will end in the next few years and regulators take a hardline stance.

Well, I hope they will …

ChillBill September 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

You are missing the point, Annie. The real problem here is that you have Republican friends.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Well, technically a coworker. You know, not awful enough to get rid of, but just awful enough to send my blood pressure through the roof.

ChillBill September 7, 2012 at 3:57 pm

At least you didn't marry into a family of Texas wingnuts like I did (I hope).

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

A friend of mine just tried to buy a foreclosure in my neighborhood. The only way the bank would sell it to them is if they paid cash. Otherwise, don't bother. And so the house sits, empty and unmaintained, dragging down everyone elses values. Makes me want to punch someone.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 3:13 pm

My father is incapable of enjoying life unless he is fixing something – as such, when we were looking for a house to buy, he kept sending us listing after listing of foreclosures. “It's such a great deal!”, he would say, eyes shining at the prospect of saving 50K upfront while getting to pour hundreds of thousands of dollars (and hours) into black mold removal. The only foreclosures we saw had been sitting empty, in the fucking Seattle rain belt, for at least two years.Even short sales are incredibly iffy – our agent had been dealing with a short sale that took 6 months, and then the bank decided, at the last minute, that they wanted 30K more than the price that had been agreed upon. BECAUSE THEY CAN JUST FUCKING DO THAT.

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

What is this "Seattle" rain belt? Isn't the rain belt Pacific Ocean –> high point of the Cascades?

AlterNewt September 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Well, that's good enough for me.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Corporations are burglers too, my friend.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm

(sharpens knife on fork)

Wut? Oh, I thought you said "BURGERS." Dammit.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Hey! Haven't seen you much lately.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

(Hugs youse) Yeah. I had bugs. Srsly. Termites and powder-post beetles. Gross little fuckers. We had to find people who could come get rid of them and now we have to find people who can fix all the damage they did. How's by you, man? Er, haha, I mean, lady.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Eeesh, that sucks. My house is so underwater that I think I would just take my stuff and let the bugs have the place.

Geminisunmars September 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I was wondering too. At least you didn't have bugs in you. Recently my little Shitzu had to go to vets because of a hole in his side getting hot and infected-like. Turned out to be a bot-fly larva that the vet squeezed out. oh yuk.

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Bilderburgers (sic)

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 12:54 am

Silly, you don't eat burgers with a knife and fork!

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Dude! *Some* of us do! I eat my sandwiches with a knife and fork! Or I used to. People here laugh at you when you do that. Back home, people think Americans are gross because they eat with their hands, but don't know how to do it "properly."

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 8, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I always eat burgers with my pinkies in the air.

hagajim September 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Was that burglers, or bunglers….I guess yes to both.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I'm sure Obama and Holder will make Wells Fargo pay for their error.
~

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

And Geitner. They will jump right on it, I'm sure.

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm

They'll get to that right after they send all of the Wall St. banksters to jail for nearly destroying the world. In other words, never.

One_Man_Band September 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm

But-but-but- he just gave a nice speech!

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

That's the problem with this administration! It's so unfriendly to businesses!

grex1949 September 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm

As a plaintiff's lawyer, this is the type of case I dream about.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 12:55 am

Yeah, and Romney would probably give them an additional corporate tax cut and a presidential medal.

YasserArraFeck September 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

This is exactly what Edible Arrangements are for.

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Win.

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

You are suggesting everyone send Well Fargo a bouquet of salted rat dicks?

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

It would be a good *start.*

SoBeach September 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

That poor old couple. I hope they'll be able to recover from this trauma from their ocean front house in Malibu that Wells Fargo is about to buy them.

randcoolcatdaddy September 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

… and create new memories with yearly trips to London and Paris that the lawsuit settlement should buy them….

Lascauxcaveman September 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

No kidding. They're gonna have a bidding war among all the lawyers that'll be lining up to represent them.

Antispandex September 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

You see, THIS is why we need tort reform!

BoroPrimorac September 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Yup. They have to cap payout amounts or else everyone is going to let Wells Fargo foreclose on them by mistake.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm

This needs to be tattooed on the foreheads of every fucking Dittohead whiner.

OneYieldRegular September 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

You mean the foreclosed ocean front house in Malibu that Wells Fargo is about to offer them for an interest rate 1/4 of a percentage point lower than normal as long as they maintain a minimum $100,000 balance and consolidate all their other banking into Wells Fargo.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Will that include a car elevator? I hear that they have a lot of those in Malibu.

CindynEncinitas September 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm

No, that would be La Jolla, silly. Which is like Malibu but the famous people manage to keep things on the DL.

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm

La Jolla has more Mormons, Malibu probably has more Scientologists.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 12:57 am

Oh, god. Talk about a Sophie's choice.

Texan_Bulldog September 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Well, it's not like they shot them, too. Sheesh…some people are too damn sensitive.

Wells Fargo could give them one of those giant stuffed horses they give out when you give them your first-born kid. Ha…who am I kidding? I've already given them my first born & they have my mortgage & I've still never gotten one of those dumb stuffed horses.

freakishlywrong September 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

When Romney gets elected, those horses will dance, bitches.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Look on the *bright* side. Those things are a *bitch* to keep clean.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Stand Your Mortgage!

bravo_sierra September 7, 2012 at 2:52 pm

My first born loves that horse. She's four now, and we just recently closed on a re-fi. We've been working on it since before she was born.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:27 pm

(Hugs bravo_sierra) I'm sorry. That is truly shitty. Hopefully, most of your headaches are now OVER and your baby is making the others seem trivial with the happiness she brings you.

bravo_sierra September 8, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Aw, thanks for that! Really, we got off easy with just a four year re-fi process with Wells Fargo. All of our cats are still alive and no one has broken into our house yet to "secure" it.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I'm remembering when we refi'd and I felt like my guts were in knots all day every day for the entire process. But then I have a tendency to overreact dramatically. :)

And, yes, we must count our blessings. Geez, did I think I'd live to see the day when I had to be grateful for such tender mercies!

Terry September 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Uh, this is breaking and entering and a healthy dose of robbery, too.

miss_grundy September 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Please tell me that they found a celebrity lawyer who will shake millions out of Wells Fargo before long AND drag the bank's name through the mud. Not only would that be justice but it will be revenge as well.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Apparently, no one informed you, but Wells Fargo's name has been synonymous with mud for at least a decade or more. They've been taken to court *repeatedly* for egregiously bad practices. How they continue to stay in business is nothing short of a mystery to me.

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Because big corporations aren't people, my friend. At least in Washington DC, corporations are gods.

BoroPrimorac September 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Corporations can't dance, love or go to jail.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Sigh. Forgot where I was for a minute.

horsedreamer_1 September 9, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Oh, but the Wells Fargo wagon has everything!

sharethegrief September 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Hamburglars.

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Ham-handed burglars – ham-brained burglars?

Antispandex September 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Well, it's about time they got tough on people who owe them money and refuse to pay…no, wait…

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I think they're now getting tough on people who refuse to owe them money.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

But those crimes only apply to HUMANS. Corporations can break, enter, and steal with impunity. Or so it would seem, judging by how many of them are currently serving time for wiping out our retirement funds over the past decade.

HistoriCat September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Corporations can break, enter, and steal with impunity

Don't forget kill.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm

(Rubs your furry belly disconsolately) Indeed. Fuckers.

Mittens Howell, III September 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

IOKIYAGDMFAHKKBMF

"It's Ok If You're A God Damm Mother Fucking Ass Hole Kitten Killing Bank Mother Fucker"

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Yes, I was scrolling down to post this, but I see you beat me to it.

From the point of view of civil law, well, let's just say that this elderly couple are about to become very, very, very, very wealthy. I'm glad for them.

But the real issues we should be concentrating on are the criminal issues: theft, criminal trespass, breaking and entering,…. Does all that stuff get forgiven just because Wells Fargo will give the couple their own money bin full of gold doubloons?

[This is in part a rhetorical question but also in part a genuine question - I'm not sure what the rules of criminal procedure in the US are on this sort of question.]

Not_So_Much September 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I hope they do become deliriously wealthy of those fuckheads. But nothing is bringing back the photos or memorabilia they collected over a lifetime.

This story is just bumming me all the way out…

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:29 pm

(Hugs Not_So_Much) A hug can't do much except try to lift your spirits. It's a bummer. I'm sorry it's hurting you.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 6:34 pm

There's this little thing called "mens rea" — most crimes are defined so as to require an intent to commit the crime. It's almost certain that there are no criminal issues to discuss. Now, if you want to talk negligence, you can talk (to the jury) for a long, long time. Torts we like!

Chichikovovich September 8, 2012 at 10:48 am

Ben oui, mens rea needs to be established, we're not talking about offences of strict liability here. Perhaps my ignorance of differences between American law and other common law jurisdictions is especially glaring here, but my understanding was that there is a “reasonable person” standard, so that someone could be criminally liable if the act was strictly speaking unintentional, but failed to meet the standard of caution that any reasonable person would apply.—

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:34 pm

A crime requires criminal intent, whether under common law or statutory. If someone sets fire to your house and burns you and all yours to death, it makes a tremendous difference in their treatment if they are drunk, insane, or stone-cold sober and acting with the intent to hurt or kill you. Because there was NO intent to dispossess this couple or in any way interact with them, even, there is no crime. The "reasonable person" standard is not in any way related to the commission of crimes.

GhostBuggy September 7, 2012 at 3:21 pm

No no no, it was all a MISTAKE. Wells Fargo even said so!

Boy, we've come a long way since bandits robbed stagecoaches. Now they drive the damn things.

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Hey, that's my bank now; I feel so great after this!

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Geezus get away from those rotten bastids as fast as you can, they are as bad as Bank of Amercia. They'll steal the pennies off your grandma's eyes, and don't give me that "But she's been dead for a decade," they'll fucking DIG HER UP to get at 'em.

Naked_Bunny September 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm

As if not doing business with them actually stops them from repossessing your house.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Ow!

MissTaken September 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Yeah, but they have a cute little stagecoach with horseys, so they can't be all bad, right?!

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Of course, just like the Budweiser Clydesdale horsies mean they're not bad and their beer doesn't taste like piss.

hagajim September 7, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Join a credit union for hell sake.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Actually, Soros, I'm thinking that there is an employment opportunity here for a smart lawyer filled with righteous fury. Did that article include Alvin and Pat Tjosaas's phone number, by any chance?

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

What candidate promises to throw the banksters in jail? After clawing back all their fraudulent earnings for the last 12 years?

SIGH.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Any candidate who promised that wouldn't win the election. Obama is working on it, and on creating a framework that will prevent such offenses in the future.

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

As soon as Howard Dean mentioned going after the corporations he was instantly branded as dangerously unstable in the mass media. Coincidence?

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Indeed. I'm torn between cynicism and the recognition of the real NEED to re-elect Obama, which is going to require a high degree of enthusiasm because the GOP is determined to steal the vote of minority groups like never before. I know that if Obama does not win this election, the corporations financing Mitt Romney will ride roughshod over us like the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, because they will (rightly) see that if they do not crush dissent beyond a hope of resurrection for at least a decade, the world will be transformed in a way that is not solely to their benefit. And they're not prepared to adapt just yet.

The media is already jumping all over Jennifer Granholm, who gave a fiery, inspiring, pro-worker speech last night, trying to turn her into Howard Dean II.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 3:05 pm

The media can diss her all they want, but that elevator/shaft line was genius, and perfectly on-point.

JerkCade September 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Yes, he sure is working very hard on that. Larry and Tim are helping, too.

mrpuma2u September 7, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Yup and ol Eric H will help polish that turd as well.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I try to be pleasant and polite to everyone posting here, but you don't want to argue these issues with me. It's obvious that you've never managed any major project in your life, so you don't realize how difficult it is to get such things done. Please, if we're going to discuss something, let's do it on the merits. If you just want snark, I'm feeling a bit cranky right now and won't break my rule of never attacking Wonketteers, so you'll understand if I decline to engage. Thanks.

JerkCade September 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Well thank god I was able to avoid your unpleasantries. I will take you at your word regarding your superior understanding of major projects, getting things done, and the appropriate websites for snarking.

(cough) *asshole* (cough)

sorry . . . walking pneumonia.

Anyway, thanks for the substantive discussion!

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Mister, we need a man like Vladimir Putin again . . .

An_Outhouse September 7, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Jill Stein.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 1:02 am

You're definitely going to have to look to the third parties, for that.

sbj1964 September 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Wells Fargo can now be added to the list of cold blooded shithead banks right up there with Scank of America & Shitty bank.

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

You haven't been paying enough attention. They were on the shit list back when they got 25 billion in bailout money. That and other regulator advantages.
http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-18563_162-4788018.htm
If you aren't feeling queezy enough already.

azeyote September 7, 2012 at 6:32 pm

wow you mean they were'nt on it already – i could have nominated them years ago.

Antispandex September 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Well, shit, they said they were sorry! I don't know what more you can expect from them. The world isn't perfect, mistakes happen, no guaranteed outcomes &c……This is America, where it's only a crime if YOU rob the BANK!

mrpuma2u September 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

In America bank robs YOU.

RadioX September 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Did they check the stagecoach?

AlterNewt September 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

"…and we are taking steps to insure that this never happens again."

Fuck you.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

So now, after the gazillionth time they've done this, now they're taking steps to stop it?

Mittens Howell, III September 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

The reporting. They're taking steps to insure this kind of thing is never leaked to the press again.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

In future they'll shoot the occupants so they can't complain to the press?

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Like as not. (Mutters blackly, drains last drops of unseemly beverage from ancient glass)

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Those "steps" include firing a dozen low-level schlubs who are desperate to have jobs so they can pay their bills, but keeping on the fucking blackhearted POS VP who dreamed up this sort of legalized B&E at some ludicrous multi-million-dollar annual salary. Pardon me while I fucking puke.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Shouldn't they have taken those steps before this happened? You know, so it, like, wouldn't happen?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I know you've been in the business long enough to KNOW that these guys calculate the risk. They will do whatever will add to the bottom line KNOWING full well that it's illegal UNTIL someone slaps them down for it. Then they'll "put in place procedures to ensure it doesn't happen again," while they find something ELSE that's illegal or iffy to do.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 9, 2012 at 5:47 am

Oh yeah, there's all that. But I doubt they sit around and discuss which non-client un-mortgaged homes to break into and repossess. Not necessarily because it's wrong, but because it's so hard to get away with. (It's those damned lawyers, and all their rules about deeds and titles and other annoying, job-killing rules and regulations.)

MittBorg September 9, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Isn't if funny how ev'body HATES lawyers, at least until they get screwed, and then it's all "I'll SUE!!" (Hugs Biely carefully)

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm

And by "this", they mean "us getting caught".

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

So if your a bank, break into someones house, steal all their stuff and "lose" it (aka fence it) all you have to do is say sorry? How do I become a bank, because my neighbor just got this huge ass plasma screen tv?

PinkoPopulist September 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Incorporate and you will get away with anything. I hear you don't have to pay taxes either!

PsycWench September 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

You also have to "reach out". Whatever that means.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Baconz, wut means "unemployed"?

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Soon to be unemployed. They are shutting down my dept. Last day Oct. 31st

Geminisunmars September 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Well, after you get a loan from your parents you can start your own bank.

Sorry to hear of your loss. Hope things work out for you.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Oh NOOOES!!! (Hugs you) That fucking SUCKS!

Do you have job leads? Will things be OK?

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I don't know yet. I'm going to do the resume this weekend (hopefully) and stop at some places where I know some contacts.

starfanglednut September 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Oh, shit! Sorry to hear that.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 4:58 pm

That sucks, but it's a good opportunity to wear a kick ass Halloween costume.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Donate to the Romney campaign, for starters.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:17 pm

It involves "shell corporations" in "The Cayman Islands". I don't think it's that hard, but I'd have to read The Firm again.

Mittens Howell, III September 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Bank official:

"Here's your keys back. Um, sorry we ate your babies."

kittensdontlie September 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

*Burppp!*

CindynEncinitas September 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

But it's not like they ate their eyes…

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Why? Are the eyes the tastiest part? Because fish eyeballs are just disgusting, if you've ever et one.

CindynEncinitas September 10, 2012 at 11:35 am

I was playing off of the song All We Want to do is Eat Your Brains.

MittBorg September 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Oh. Dang. I was *so* hoping for exciting new information.

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I hope the nice couple sues the chit out of WF.

MOVE YOUR MONEY to a local bank or credit union!

barto September 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

How about a lifetime of free checking? That oughtta do it!

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Waving 2 overdraw fees every year?

Mittens Howell, III September 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Too big to give a shit.

Barbara_ September 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

And Wells Fargo chains their shitty pens to the wall so that we can't take them. Genius!

MosesInvests September 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Hi, Barb! How'd it go this morning?

Barbara_ September 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Hey, good to see you.
Mina is out of surgery. http://i50.tinypic.com/15wl26w.jpg

This is what my daughter says about this.
Mina lost a lot of blood and is anemic, so we are waiting the blood transfusion.
They weren't able to remove the whole narrowing, so a second procedure might be in her future.

MosesInvests September 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Prayers will continue-for Mina and for all of y'all. Love ya, Barb!

weejee September 7, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Barb, the missus & I will be keeping you, Mina, and the rest of your family in our thoughts & prayers.

Barbara_ September 7, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Thank you, WeeJee. You are an incredible person.

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm

What a cute li'l redhead!

Barbara_ September 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Thanks Miss Tessie. Her dad is holding her and he is awesome. He's a Marine and a lawyer. I just love him.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 1:04 am

The more times moves on, I get the feeling that the chain serves the duel purpose of preventing us from stabbing them with them.

With votes, of course.

CrunchyKnee September 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Uniquely American, my friends.

Buzz Feedback September 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

In the words of opinion leader Liam Gallagher, "Cuntybullocks."

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

You remember those old movies set in the 30s where the teenaged hick with a shotgun shoots at everyone who approaches because his mamma told him it was the man from the bank? Boy, do those scenes look different now.

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm

*makes mental note to re-watch "Bonnie and Clyde" and "O Brother Where Art Thou?"*

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass allow the foreclosure process to continue though pervaded by fraud from start to finish? This is what happens.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Um … er … just … you know, fucking a stranger in the ass could be a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

FNMA September 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Shut the fuck up, Donnie.

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I am the walrus.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I thought you were our most beloved little piglet of snark.

freakishlywrong September 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Ugh. Occupy my asshole. Assholes.

Chet Kincaid_ September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Uh, I think you're insulting them wrong.

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Careful what you ask for…

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Geezus, don't SAY that! You KNOW they will!

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm

They're gonna foreclose on that shit.

Mittens Howell, III September 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Bank official:

"You didn't build that!""

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

"…and we are taking steps to insure that this never happens again."

You assholes are going out of business? Because that seems to be the only thing that could stop you…maybe…

Assholes.

BloviateMe September 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Don't raze me, bro!

Shypixel September 7, 2012 at 1:42 pm

That's what they get for building their own house. Don't they know that it is the exclusive right of the Republican Party to say "We Built That"?

Mittens Howell, III September 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

On the bright side–minimalism is considered very sheik these days.

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Credit Unions rock.

Regular banks are the fetid, cancerous pustule on the anus of humanity.

No, really.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Do you know any CUs that handle international monetary transactions?

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Mine does Mitt…. I send maintenance to my ex in the south of France [for my 12 y.o. daughter].

But it's an employees credit union [I'm in NYC]. they charge a fairly modest flat transfer fee that makes it work for me.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

That's good to know, thanks. I'll check and see if the local CUs offer anything like that.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Do you mean, like, the ability to get money from your account while abroad? Or something more complicated?

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

If I understand MB correctly, it's to transfer money from your account here, to another account [not necessarily your own] in another country.

That's what I do. I transfer money from my CU account directly into my ex's Credit Lyonnais account in Toulouse. It's otherwise known as a 'wire transfer' but uses international 'Swift' codes to execute the procedure.

jodyleek September 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Damn! South of France? How do I become your next ex-wife?

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:08 pm

That's it, exactly.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Ah yes, the modern, all-electonic, no-paperwork, instant transfer that takes only seconds … for which Citibank charges me $45.00, because … I don't know, really. Maybe it helps pay the CEO his $40 million salary or something.

(I was told just recently that it trickles the other way.)

PinkoPopulist September 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Well let's face it, they probably live next door or across the street from some poors whose house should have been foreclosed on, so guilty by association if you ask me. Wells Fargo did nothing wrong. Non-issue in my book.

Come here a minute September 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Fortunately this person, Wells Fargo, will spend a long time in jail thinking about what it he/she has done.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Wells Fargo! Please come take all my crap and let me sue you so I can buy new crap! But leave my cat and dog. Or just tie them to a tree in the front yard. Whatevs.

Chet Kincaid_ September 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm

You're a dog who owns a dog?! Is this some kind of Goofy/Pluto abomination?!

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Haha! Remember that show "Dharma & Greg?" Dharma's dog had its own dog.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I have to admit that that actually made me laugh. Just that one bit, because the rest of the show made me cringe.

MosesInvests September 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Mostly cringe-worthy, although I still have impure thoughts about Jenna Elfman….

Tangled sin tax September 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

Somehow Neil DeGrasse Tyson got blamed for that goofy Pluto abomination.

pdiddycornchips September 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

There's an assumption that Wells Fargo will automatically write a big check. Don't bet on it. They're in litigation with other people who have been wrongly foreclosed upon and they will not want to set a standard that could be used by other litigants. My guess is they'll offer them a few thousand dollars and if need be, drag it out in court for the next couple of years. Banks didn't get their rapacious reputation by doing the right thing. They're some evil motherfuckers.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I wonder if my homeowners insurance would cover this …

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:56 pm

"what you are doing is giving your money to somebody else to hold on to, and I think it is worth keeping in mind that the businessmen who run banks are so worried about holding on to things that they put little chains on all their pens." — "Miss Piggy's Guide to Life"

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

When you put it that way…

no_gravity September 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

This will get Wells Fargo the coveted Foreclosure Monthly cover they been angling for these many years.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Cover? They'll be the October centerfold.

SoBeach September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

There's a little part of me that's kind of jealous. If my bank did the same thing I'd be out some precious memories, sure. I'd lose my massive collection of plush woolly mammoths too, but they can be replaced. But man, think about it. I'd have nothing but money in the bank. I'd be on the first plane to Costa Rica.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Trust me on this. WF used to be my bank. You'd be long gone and moldering in the ground before they ever paid a penny.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:35 pm

And even then, they'd write you a check.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 4:03 pm

They'd put an IOU in the coffin.

proudgrampa September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Well, if they had just kept up on their mortgage payments, none of this would have ever happened,,,
What? Oh. They didn't even have a mortgage? Well, there you go. If they'd had a mortgage, it never would have been foreclosed.
Why don't consumers understand simple logic???

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Shocking, innit? I blame the education system.

We MUST DISMANTLE PUBLIC EDUCATION!! Only THEN can we begin to discover ARITHMETIC as it is meant to be known.

ChillBill September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"We fucked your wife and pissed on your father's grave. Please accept our most sincere apologies."

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

And we'll never ever ever do it again…

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm

… or at least, we're taking steps to develop a plan to implement a policy that should make this less likely to happen again.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Those bastards? They're MUCH more likely to say "We pissed on your wife and fucked your father in his grave. Please accept this check for damages of $27.04 and here's our bill for the piss."

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Please accept this check for damages of $27.04 and here's our bill for the piss.

Total bill: $28.03.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Payable immediately with interest accruing at 33% compounded daily.

UW8316154 September 8, 2012 at 9:29 am

Well, *somebody's" got to pay for the champange that made that piss!

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Hey, bad boy or girl! Don't go giving them any moar ideez.

WABishop September 8, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"We fucked your wife and pissed on your father's grave. Please accept our most sincere apologies if we offended you."

*fixed.

HarryButtle September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

But if somebody goes all shooty at the Wells Fargo corporate offices, we get nitwit TV "journalists" wringing their hands and asking why such a senseless act had to occur.

(I'm not advocating going all shooty at the Wells Fargo corporate offices, just commenting that it isn't all that hard to understand the motives)

One_Man_Band September 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Unfortunately, when people tend to snap like that, they never seem to go up the food chain. They'll just end up taking out some poor min. wage cashier or whoever happens to be in line to deposit their couch change…

Please, rampage shooters – go to corporate headquarters!

delaney_blom September 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Whoa-oh the Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin down the street!
Oh please let it be for me!
Whoa-oh the Wells Fargo wagon is a-comin down the street!
I wish, I wish I knew what it could be!
I got a box of maple sugar on my birthday
In March I got a gray mackinaw
And once I got a foreclosure meant for my neighbor
Now I need someone who knows the law!

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:58 pm

WIN!!

dinkybossetti September 8, 2012 at 9:48 am

Haha! You are awesome, and I think you got dad's sense of humor.

delaney_blom September 10, 2012 at 9:33 am

Thanks. I was pretty happy with myself and with the thumbs-ups I was getting. But it looks like I need less musical theater references and more blind liberal rage (with lots of cursing) to get a really highly rated Wonkette comment.

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"That's why pencils have erasers"

-Wells Fargo-

Dudleydidwrong September 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Yeah. And jam that # 2 Mead up your collective asses, sideways just after sharpening.

rocktonsam September 7, 2012 at 11:23 pm

didn't Lenny say that during the Frank Grimes episode?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I once worked for a nasty rotten bitch who asked a co-worker to do something that was not within her skillset. She said, "That's not in my job description." NastyRottenBitch replied, "Your job description is on the computer, you know. We can change it any time we want."

Goonemeritus September 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Just our good friends at Wells Fargo helping a couple to a less materialistic Buddhist inspired lifestyle.

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Seriously paraphrased haiku:

My house burned down
Now I have a better view
of the rising moon

Goonemeritus September 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

My best friend lost his house to fire this year. I have helped him clear, catalog and to a small degree salvage. I have come back from those weeks with really mixed emotions. Part of me is appalled by the amount of crap we accumulate and part of me wants to hug my toys when I get home.

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Yeah, it's definitely a dilemma. The *idea* of my house burning down engenders a few feelings of relief, but I know the actuality of it would suck.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

You may laugh, but when my ex used to kill bugs (which I protested), she would say, "Look at it this way: they're going to reincarnate as higher life-forms. I'm simply helping them along the wheel of life." Heartless woman.

Goonemeritus September 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

She may have killed that spider right before a revelation that would have allowed for a significant Karma upgrade. Instead of reincarnating as a barn swallow thanks to her it might have had to start again as plankton.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:13 pm

She has the most beautiful eyes, and if she were here right now she would fix them on you in a withering laser glare and say, in her mellifluous low tones, "Spiders do not have revelations."

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Ten eyes, eight legs … but zero revelations? That don't seem right.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Are there no public hangings — of VOTES!! — any more? The masses need entertainment, y'know. And if it is not provided to those lazy fuckers, I understand they're inclined to get all initiativey and stuff, wut with torching the gazebos of the rich and mighty, and using their mansions for all sorts of unseemly activities that seem to include much whooping and hollering.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Since corporations are people, they must have necks, right?

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Apparently, they're members of that tribe of chinless — and neckless — wonders, my friend.

Goonemeritus September 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

If you can hang a hotdog (and they do at biker rallies) you can hang anyone regardless off chin size.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I'm afraid to ask if "hang a hotdog" has any vile connotations of the sort discoverable in the Urban Dictionary.

chicken_thief September 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The house is in the fucking desert – how could they possibly screw up the address?

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Cops do it all the time with guns a blazing.

bibliotequetress September 7, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Well, that happens when you hire Acme Repossessions, Wile E. Coyote, Prop. to do your work.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 6:52 pm

When the address is 125685 Old Dry Gulch Road, transposing two digits can put you off by 50 miles.

UW8316154 September 8, 2012 at 9:30 am

To be fair, it was in 29 Palms – not exactly a desert oasis.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

This is precisely why I throw everything away once I'm finished with them: so my bank can't.

Including ex-girlfriends. Oddly, there's no curbside pick up service for those.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm
actor212 September 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

That's hit or miss, altho I'd consider a service contract.

MonkeyMotion September 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

They built that house. Ergo, the couple must be republican and love Jeebus.
Ergo, Wells Fargo and all banks hate freedom and must be regulated.

Um, wait a minute. [Rush -- help me here...]

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm

In this case I'm all for Old Testament biblical law. Let the Tjossas take everything out of the CEO's (John Stumpf) house(s) and chuck it in the dump. Tit for tat.

MacRaith September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Or just let them have the CEO's house and everything in it, free and clear. Sounds fair to me.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I like the way you think.

Mittens Howell, III September 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Fuck me, bank! If you wanted your fucking toaster back so bad, why did you give it to us in the first place??

kissawookiee September 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

If they didn't want their house to look foreclosable, they should have had the foresight to add a car elevator.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm

They were just asking for it! Look at how that house is landscaped!

UnholyMoses September 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

It's comforting to know that the folks who handle billions of dollars in deposits and savings accounts and whatnot are the same who can't read a goddamn address correctly.

Wait, did I say "comforting?"

I meant "Horrifying"

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm

UM:

After Wells Fargo merged with a major midwestern bank (I believe it was Northwestern Something) the Chairman of the Board told the shareholders there was $140,000,000 of unreconciled accounts the Bank (Wells) was just going to "adjust" because they couldn't figure them out.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Is that where Jon Corzine got his start?

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I'm having trouble with this one. Should I score this on my card an "Ooops" or a "D'OH!".

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

But I thought houses had ways to protect themselves from legitimate foreclosures?

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Only if it's "forcible". They have a way of shutting that whole thing down (fire).

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Ex-loan officer claims Wells Fargo targeted black communities for shoddy loans
http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/fo

delaney_blom September 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Kinda makes you long for the days when . . . Wait a minute, bankers are STILL a bunch of racist pricks?

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm

No – they've just gone from screwing Blahs and other minorities to screwing everybody.

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Progress!

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Hey, I thought I was the only equal opportunity fucker in town!

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm

That's been going on for years. People sued those bastards at least 25 years ago for EXACTLY this sort of practice. Targeting low-income minority communities for aggressive and expensive loans with high fees.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

How many houses can there be in 29 palms?

OneYieldRegular September 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

It really seems almost overkill to foreclose on someone living in a town they should rename "One Hundred and Twenty Nine Degrees in the Shade of the Palms."

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Let's put it this way: there used to be 29,000 palms.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm

You've got *plans* for this town, Biely?

UnholyMoses September 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Someone should do this to the CEO of Wells Fargo.

Just break and enter, grab all the shit, sell/lose said shit, and then send a sorry note.

I'm sure the cops would understand. After all, they don't seem inclined to arrest the people who did the same to these folks.

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

A man with a gun can rob a bank; a man with a bank can rob the world.

delaney_blom September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Is that Chairman Mao?

comrad_darkness September 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I'm going Ben Franklin

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I'm seeing it attributed to Morgan Freeman on Twitter, but Twitter is notorious for fake accounts and bs.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I believe it was Andrew Mellon who said that.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:40 pm

He would know.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 1:21 am

How perfect.

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Isn't there a Woody Guthrie lyric about it being easier to rob with a pen than with a gun?

delaney_blom September 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Pretty Boy Floyd. The following verse:

And as through your life you travel
yes as through your life you roam
You won't never see an outlaw
Drive a family from their home.

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 3:16 pm

But a many a starvin' farmer
The same old story told
How the outlaw paid their mortgage
And saved their little homes.

Yes, as through this world I've wandered
I've seen lots of funny men;
Some will rob you with a six-gun,
And some with a fountain pen.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Thanks, TG. I'd forgotten that one.

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

In California, if those poor folks were renters the landlord would have had to store all their possessions for them.

But, since it's a foreclosure…

SayItWithWookies September 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Eat your heart out, Bain Capital — Wells Fargo managed to get an infinite return on investment.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Don't go giving them ideas.

chicken_thief September 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Did they piss on the carpet to?

YasserArraFeck September 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

"Fuck it!"
"What? What's wrong?"
"We forgot to piss on the carpet – I hate it when we forget to piss on the carpet….."

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

It really tied the room together.

OneYieldRegular September 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I knew I'd made the right decision to withdraw all my money from Wells Fargo when, just after I'd done so, the teller handed me a lollipop "as a token of our appreciation."

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:28 pm

??!

magic_titty September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

You should always keep your precious personal belongings in the form of bonds or securities.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Wells Fargo never foreclosed on a Cayman bank.

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

In the Cayman Islands.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Darn you and your fast fingers!

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

The big pain for these people is when they sue, WF will bring on 65 lawyers and file every kinda paper they can to draw this out over 20 years.

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

The only effective recourse these folks have is through media attention. They'll be dead by the time WF's lawyers let a court date happen.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Something like this is just too awful, too blatant to think about dragging out, with all the consequent attention. Right now they want a settlement and silence as fast as possible. They will have 65 lawyers all right, but they will be drafting the confidentiality/nondisclosure agreement that the couple will sign when they take delivery of the pickup truck full of gold that Wells Fargo is currently loading up.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:52 pm

When the reputation you're defending is already that you're evil motherfuckers who'd feed your own grandmothers to the ravenous bugblatter beast of Traal, I don't see how this is "too awful" for them. C.f., Progressive insurance.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:43 pm

With that reputation, I think they'll be exceedingly anxious to avoid a jury trial.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I don't remember where I read about the ravenous bugblatter beast of Traal, dear sully. Was it Vonnegut? Must've been.

Toomush_Infer September 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Hey, I'm sure Wells Fargo has plenty of other empty, available real estate to offer them – but the real deal is – getcher fukkin' money out of these banks and into credit unions….

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Bank comes in, your stuff goes out. You can't explain it.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

*You* may not be able to, dood, but I gotta real good idear.

pdiddycornchips September 7, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Too big to fail = too big to go to jail

Maybe Tim Geithner should stop rimming the banksters long enough to actually enforce some of those laws and regulations they complain about. I'm sure there's something in there about stealing from people who don't even have a mortgage.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Unfortunately, no. That's not how the law works.

PhilippePetain September 7, 2012 at 2:01 pm

They should help the people Wells Fargo was originally going to foreclose on when they get their $50000000000000000000 settlement and completely fuck Wells Fargo on this transaction.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

It's the very least they could do…

Steverino247 September 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

From now on, when I see a stage coach being held up in a movie, I'm rooting for the outlaws.

And with the budget cuts looming in the Courts here in CA, good luck with suing anybody…

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm

And with the budget cuts looming in the Courts here in CA, good luck with suing anybody…

Fargo and friends see this as "feature, not bug." It's the real endgame in the "starve the beast" strategy: making sure there is no way to hold them accountable.

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 4:17 pm

You beat me to it! It's all part of King Grover Nordquist's quest to kill America. The courts are what make it safe to DO business in America. Take away any penalties for being a scofflaw or worse and it's the wild wild west all over again.

Corporations like less government for the same reason criminals like fewer laws.

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Prezackly. This is why destroying the DOJ was first and foremost among the Bush adinistration's priorities.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm

And the ears and tail to HogeyeGrex. That's exactly what their strategy is, and the saddest part is, so few Americans pay any attention to this. They have no idea their birthright has long ago been sold for a mess of pottage.

Hera Sent Me September 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

You break into and loot my house, I burn yours down. You kill my cat, I kill you.

Steverino247 September 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

That's the Twentynine Palms way!

bibliotequetress September 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I second this. You even look at my cat wrong and I torch your car.
Actually, look at my cat wrong and he will torch your car.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm

I like this cat. Perhaps I might borrow him for the odd,untraceable, ahem, torcheveryWellsFargoexecutive plan?

bibliotequetress September 8, 2012 at 2:37 pm

He's not a co-operative little guy, as far as the human race goes. Give him a pack of matches and there's no telling whose house goes up in flames.

He's a ginger, you see.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Aww! I have a big thing for ginger furballs! My last late lamented and most beloved was an enormous Maine Coon of the most beautiful red. Unfortunately, he was the biggest fucking sissypants. Very brave when all the doors were firmly locked and he was on the INSIDE and running crying from his kibble when it moved. Poor guy.

I don't blame your ginger boy for not being overly fond of humans. I'm not either. But I'd rather keep my house out of flames, so I think I'll forgo his services for the nonce.

Is he talky? I have another ginger (he has a partial white mask) who's kind of talky. He talks in his sleep, which is very funny. Mutters, chatters, meows loud and long. Cats are endlessly fascinating to me, in case you hadn't already guessed.

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered." — Thomas Jefferson

delaney_blom September 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Best just to secure them all . . . .

MozakiBlocks September 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Good thing WF CEO John Stumpf has health insurance cause it's going to take more than one operation to remove the lawyer's foot that's about to get shoved up his ass.

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Wells Fargo's moto: "Be on the next stage out of town."

YasserArraFeck September 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I believe Hallmark are pushing a new line of Foreclosure cards:
"Sorry we trashed your house"
"An RV's lookin' pretty good, right now, eh?"
"Got Rubble?"
"There goes the neighborhood (one house at a time)"
"Can we interest you in a mortgage?"

Dudleydidwrong September 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm

"You're cat's in the bag–at the bottom of the reservoir. Really sorry"

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

They couldn't find any pets to kill? Wells Fargo is really losing their touch.

rickmaci September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

So the Wells Fargo guy shrugs his shoulders and says "whoops" and "sorry" and that takes care of everything. Meanwhile, the California AG is cutting sweetheart deals with the banksters to "settle" their foreclosure fraud.

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Can you believe that the government is actually negotiating with the banksters? I'd tell them, "Pay back every fukkin' nickle your bank stole stole or your @ss will never see the light of day again." Then I'd still throw them in prison forevah!

rickmaci September 7, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Amen.

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Whoever did the B&E needs to do time right alongside whatever fuckwit middle manager issued the order. It might make it harder for the banks to find accomplices to their crimes if the whole lot were sent up the river when shit like this happens.

Oh. Right. Forgot. WF probably won't have to shell out more than coffee change for this travesty, and their mindless thugs will just find another door to kick down without a question. Fucking hell.

Well, this gets my day moving on a chipper note.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:38 pm

They usually give the foreclosure notices to the local sheriff's office to enforce. Have they changed how they do that?

Blueb4sinrise September 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Call in Clint Eastwood to speak to the empty house.

MistaEko September 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Twenty-nine facepalms.

zippy_w_pinhead September 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Since corporations are people too, I expect to see Mr Wells and Mr Fargo on tonight's news doing the perp walk for grand theft in an orange jump suit and handcuffs…

weejee September 7, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Needs moar Wells Forgo.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Aw, weej, I already GAVE the ears & tail to HogeyeGrex. I have but one upfist to give (goddammit, because this one's worth a few hundred).

deanbooth September 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Alls Wells that ends Wells.

Steverino247 September 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm

One of our Palms is missing…

fuflans September 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm

this is good news for barack obama

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Does halmark have a card for this?

Blueb4sinrise September 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 4:26 pm

L to the O to the L! I almost spewed potato salad on my computer screen. When am I ever gonna learn to not eat lunch while reading Wonkette?

rickmaci September 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm

“We are deeply sorry for the very personal losses the Tjosaas family suffered as a result of their home being mistakenly secured,”

Hey asshole. Their home was negligently destroyed, not "mistakenly secured".

Monsieur_Grumpe September 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm

True Story!
My wife and I were invited to one of the executives of Wells Fargo’s party. My wife is friend of his wife. They had bought Garrison Keillor’s old house and I was looking forward to seeing it. Upon arrival I noticed a really large McCain/Palin sign in the front yard. The house was nice and I was looking around and some guy started asking me how I liked the house. I said it was nice but what a shame they had painted all of the woodwork. The natural wood is probably gorgeous. He kind stomped off after that. I later found out he was the owner and some VP at Well Fargo. His wife was phony as Republican empathy and they served really cheap wine like 2 Buck Chuck. I did bank at Well Fargo for a couple years, they suck.
The End

Isyaignert September 7, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I hope you're in a local bank or a credit union now.

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

"We are moving quickly to reach out to the family to resolve this unfortunate situation in an attempt to right this wrong."

Translation: "We are working furiously with the city attorney's office to settle this matter as soon as possible at great expense to the taxpayer. Sorry 'bout that. Hey, how's about them Lakers, huh?"

Weenus299 September 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Back in the 1880s they used to rob stagecoaches. Now I see it's the other way around.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:55 pm

"In Russia US America, stagecoach robs you"?

owhatever September 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Now all the family has to do is provide us with proof of purchase of everything, along with photos, because they otherwise will try to jack up the price on the missing spoons. And what about the gold coins? Yeah, right, you had gold coins. You think this is our first foreclosure rodeo? We'll see you cheating bastards at arbitration. Frippin' homeowners.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Depends on the company. Wells Fargo will probably be total assholes. But when we were caught in a huge fire, most of our neighbours lost everything. (We were very very lucky to only get holes burnt in our house.) TripleA was just great about taking care of its insureds. But yeah, pretty much, the lawyers will want evidence of everything you claim. If you have it. So people? Anything nice that you own? However small or insignificant it might seem, if you think you might lose it, take a photograph, take ten. Document it. Put all the receipts and photos in a safe place. When the fire hit us we barely had time to grab clean underwear and the cats. We nearly lost everything we valued.

mustangsavvy September 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Ok this has beaten the snark out of me.

Seriously, Wells Fargo, seriously? You idiotic fucking assholes.

Dear Tjosaas family – sue the buggers.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm

But in Soviet Russia, you rob bank!

neiltheblaze September 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Those poor Wells Fargo folks. I'll bet they're deeply embarrassed and everything.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Shhhhh… don't give them ideas about suing the Tjosaas for the mental anguish.

Blueb4sinrise September 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

The banks were just so upset with mean things people said about them that they were crying and the tears blurred the forms.

dennis1943 September 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm

The Repubs are trying to foreclose on the current W.H. occupant…………probably with even LESS luck……………..

Jus_Wonderin September 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Ooops.

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm

"Bank error in your favor. Collect $50."

Them was the days!

CindynEncinitas September 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I was wondering where all the zany, madcap Blackwater contractors went! They're doing asset management for Wells Fargo now! After they did such a great job managing the Iraqi treasury, they have been loosed upon the Murican population, starting with the Olds! Good call, WF!

DahBoner September 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm

But this is no reason to cancel those fat, juicy Wells Fargo Executive bonuses, right?

GeorgiaBurning September 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I've had personal experience with WF's back office in India or where ever. They lost the same paperwork three times. Each time I went to the local branch to get it straightened out. The employees there acted like that sort of thing was business as usual.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Only three? You were lucky!

fawkedifiknow September 7, 2012 at 3:24 pm

This is what happens when you let a stage coach company get into the banking business: They remain good at moving things, but not much else.

Oblios_Cap September 7, 2012 at 3:31 pm

So first you get fucked by a bank, then you get reamed by your insurance company. Capitalism rocks!

HolyCow!! September 7, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Why shouldn't they go to jail like any other common criminal?

LibrarianX September 7, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Need more landmines…

Biel_ze_Bubba September 7, 2012 at 3:36 pm

"We're sorry if you were offended by the loss of everything you own."

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 3:38 pm

California is taking this "simple living" concept a little too far.

Peckerwood_Pete September 7, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I accidentally passed out in my neighbor's yard by accident instead of my own one night, and do you think that ol' hag gave me a free pass?! HELL NO…..

iburl September 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm

So, legally they can drive an SUV into their nearest Wells Fargo lobby and demand all the cash, right?

HogeyeGrex September 7, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Clearly, this only happened because in liberal, hippie California this fine homeowner wasn't allowed to be standing his ground with a fully automatic assault rifle. It's all the liberals' fault.

subsum September 7, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Did the guy's wife owe money all over town, including to known pornographers? Did the Wells Fargo guys pee on their fucking rug? If they did, was it a rug that really brought the room together?

Comrade Wingtardd September 7, 2012 at 4:14 pm

You don't forclose on the homes that you have. You forclose on the homes that you want

Veritas78 September 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

This is proof that corporations are people, too, my friends. They felt sorry, see? Like like people do.

bibliotequetress September 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Those poor people. This is the most depressing story not involving a death, dismemberment, or Akin that I have read in weeks. Wells Fargo could send Jeremy Renner over to perform cunnilingus on me for a week straight and I would still be sad.

emmelemm September 7, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Now that's sad.

bibliotequetress September 7, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Very sad. Not that I wouldn't being willing to test the hypothesis. Science, you see.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I was going to say "Jeremy Renner's probably busy, but I'm free," but then the spouse looked over from his keyboard, and I realized, I'm not, really. Oh, well. Dammit.

bibliotequetress September 8, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Thank you for expressing concern for my psychological well being, though

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 5:36 pm

That's me, always putting others first, no matter the sacrifice.

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I will not click on the link where Wells Fargo ate/ran over/set on fire/dropped an anvil on/somebody's cat.
I won't.
And nobody can make me.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:52 pm

(Hugs tessiee) Don't look. Some shit nobody should see.

CheeseBro69 September 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I hope this kind of thing is happening to the teabaggers so that way they'll finally learn to stop dickriding the free market.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Remember Robert "Eliminate personal injury lawsuits! Unless it's MY PI lawsuit!" Bork? Yeah. That's the kind of attitude they have.

Grokenstein September 7, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Little Randy Paul: "Oh well, accidents happen! Stay the course!"
(Translation: "Didn't happen to me, so LOL WHO GIVES A ****")

Hey Wells Fargo, put THAT in a TV commercial.

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Bank of America tried to pull that shit on a family who paid for their house in cash.
The family sued their ass, and won, and then
FORECLOSED ON THE BANK OF AMERICA
and
HAD THE SHERIFF REMOVE EVERYTHING IN THE BANK, *INCLUDING THE CASH*
until the manager wrote them out a check.

I, personally, think that is almost too awesome to exist:
http://www.cracked.com/article_19633_5-most-satis

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 1:36 am

This needs more fists.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Didn't you lawyers learn about NOT siding with Poorz? Huh, din'tcha? (Hugs tessiee, noogs the curly head)

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Wells Fargo and the police were providing a valuable pre-emptive service by saving this couple from Early Onset Hoarding.

tessiee September 7, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Ha ha!
Joke's on THEM!
I NEVER mow the lawn!

GarColga September 7, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I think if you check the homes of the crew that did the "securing" you might find a lot of this poor family's possessions.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Or not. As the nice po-pos informed us when we were robbed, if they can sell it they already have. Chances are these poor folks will NEVER see their shit again. Especially the stuff they *really valued,* like letters they wrote each other, old photos, treasured family memorabilia — you know that stuff you keep forever, baby's first lock of hair, a wedding dress, a christening outfit that great-grandma might have crocheted. That stuff is irreplaceable to the people who value it, but worthless to those who "secured" it. It was probably driven straight to the dump.

mayor_quimby September 7, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I would seriously vote on a jury to give this family a billion dollar judgement. Not exaggerating, just think if somebody took every single possession of yours and threw it away , you can't just replace it at market value, even if you spent the rest of your life shopping. This is what punitive damages are made for, so the bank really takes their actions seriously, and the people never have to want for anything, since you threw away your life.

bikerlaureate September 8, 2012 at 1:50 am

Apparently no reasonable award is going to stop the big banks from doing this, so I concur.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:08 pm

The thing that bothers me is, what about the irreplaceable stuff? I can't replace my father's ashes or the photos of my parents and grandparents, who are all dead now. I can't replace the letters my friends wrote me fifty years ago. I can't replace the tchotchkes collected by friends who bought them for me in China, or Nigeria, or Bali, or Fiji. Those things are truly irreplaceable. I don't know where they were bought or made, and they're probably no longer being made. The handmade mashroo throw my ex-MIL gave me forty years ago. The silk scarves my ex-wife left behind, still impregnated with her perfume. I can never replace those things.

And no amount of money can compensate me for the memories impregnated in each of those things, you know?

ttommyunger September 7, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Wells Fargo Spokesman Larry Lipschitz issued the following statement: "Oopsie!".

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 12:35 am

I love legalese. "Secured", indeed.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 12:44 am

"O-ho the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin' down the street, oh please don't let it be for me!"

horsedreamer_1 September 9, 2012 at 9:40 pm

They're just coming for Shpoopi, the Girl that's Hard to Get.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 1:05 am

And, Mitt Romney's "solution" for the housing crisis is to let this play out. You know, because corporations are more people than people are people.

DesertTed September 8, 2012 at 2:53 am

And how are they going to make a living since they hauled off their meth lab?

Tundra Grifter September 9, 2012 at 11:15 am

WEEKEND UPDATE:

Oops! Wells Fargo DID IT AGAIN!
http://news.yahoo.com/wells-fargo-mistakenly-clea

MittBorg September 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Jesus CHRIST, TG, these people are BEGGING to be SUED!

AlterNewt September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

What IS that stuff you're drinking, anyway?

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm

But she is a Scientologist, so I'd say stay away.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Let them go! She's a Scientologist.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Oh, the nice man showed up and said, "Considering how RURAL your property is, it's not bad." Ha! We're minutes from several large cities. They'll get me out of this house when they carry my cold stiff — er, dead — bod out feet first. At any rate, I seem to have vacuumed up most of the dead beetles and mopped up the dead grubs. Soon another nice man will show up with windows and doors, and the house will have new accoutrements. She's a pretty old lady, I try to treat her nice.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Oh, geez, poor little pup. Good thing you caught it in time. I'm not wild about having bugs in my house. I think they slipped in unnoticed during that long painful recovery from surgery and I never quite figured out what was happening until we noticed the frass. Yech. (Hugs you)

Dudleydidwrong September 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

But they can sure fuck. you. over.

BoroPrimorac September 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm

They can also buy elections and speak freely.

Geminisunmars September 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm

{hugs you back} You need a break from shitty things happening. After Obama is reelected we will all take a break from shitty things, and relax in the afterglow for at least a couple of months.

MosesInvests September 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

The fact that she's in a pyramid scheme disguised as a religion affects my impure thoughts not at all. Though actually, it's more the character Dharma about whom I have the impure thoughts.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Whatever I can find, AlterNewt. Right now it's probly the dregs of bitterness from knowing that a schmuck like ErickErickson of Red State has a high-paying gig even though he referred to the DNC opening night as "The Vagina Monologues," when so many excellent writers I know are still looking for work, or have given up altogether. (shrugs)

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:26 pm

That would be SO nice. We're going to have to spend a hefty chunk of $$ on the house, and it's not clear the work can be completed before the rains. I'm not depressed about it (which can happen if I'm not watching carefully), but it's a period of great disquiet and unsettledness here. My home is so important to my work. I need a quiet, stable space, and I'm not getting it. But. Enough of that. Sun's shining, must go pick my termaters.

Goonemeritus September 7, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Nope just one of the horrible chauvinist games played by less family orientated scooter trash at their festivities.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'm hoping nothing sticks. She's smart and savvy and I see a great political future for her.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Please get on LinkedIn. I hate it, but it actually seems to have helped the 100 or so of us who got laid off by our last company.

Dare I hope they'll give you a nice severance check so it doesn't hurt so bad? (Hugs you again)

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Yeah, which is why they'll hope to delay until the Tjosaa's financial ability to continue suit is exhausted.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Douglas Adams.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Nope! Muslins, though.

MittBorg September 7, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Makes you wonder, don't it? It *ought* to be easy to wire someone a couple of grand halfway across the world with all the electronics at our disposal, but no. And don't get me started on international currency issues.

Baconzgood September 7, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Thanks.

starfanglednut September 7, 2012 at 4:32 pm

What is your work, Z? If it's Ok to ask..

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Join the queue…. the ladies don't call me stud muffin for nothing.*

*I pay 'em.

GemlikeFlame September 8, 2012 at 1:07 am

This forum is far from the place to expect substantive discussion, much less demand it. While Mitt and I do not see eye to eye on everything, he values well-considered and substantiated dissent well past the point of any particular disagreement (which, to his credit, are mostly a matter of poorly specified common terms, aggravated by the highly emotional contexts here.)

While I can understand that you may feel ill-used, I'd strongly suggest that unless you have some substance of your own to back up what was a fairly inflammatory assertion that you keep the personal abuse to a minimum. We have much bigger fish to fry.

Negropolis September 8, 2012 at 1:08 am

Hey, so long as he doesn't have to live with her, he can have all the impure thoughts he wants. lol

JerkCade September 8, 2012 at 10:06 am

Has Daily Kos gone out of business or something? People are getting a little precious in here.

I can remember when "Presidentin' is hard" was still considered a shit argument.

But by all means, let's fry our fish. And save the world one comment at a time (♫fanfare!!♪)!

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Thank you. I'm assuming that the OP's name was well-earned. And I do want to thank you again for that link regarding pregnancies from rape. It will come in handy.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 12:30 pm

It's a miracle I can remember which end of my pants is the FRONT end, some days. (Hugs the beloved sully)

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:18 pm

They will. IF we give President Obama the White House AND a House and Senate that aren't opposed to BREATHING because the President recommended it. Also too, thanks for being one of the GoodGuys. Community banks are a great help to working-class folks who use them.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Yeah, but they sound like smart, progressive type Muslins, not the jerky assholes who told my good friend that if he returned to his native country he could choose to be put to death by beheading or a red-hot poker up the ass, for the crime of being gay.

At least I sure hope they're progressive type Muslins?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Far as I'm concerned, once you leave, oh, I dunno, Santa Rosa? It's all rain and fog and god knows what awful shit that they call weather.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Haha. Of course it's OK, sweetie. This is my Other Family, you can ask me pretty much anything. I'm a writer. I know you're shocked and surprised. Who'd'a thunk?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Well, that sucks. They used to be my bank when I lived overseas, but back then they were small enough that I actually knew some of the high muckety-mucks. They've turned into an enormous criminal organization since, and I stopped banking with them — only to fall into the arms of Wells Fargo.

Hopefully she'll find someone she likes working for better, although if her training is in that field, there's only, wut, 20 banks left after all their fucking mergers? How's the injuries, dude? All healed and better?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Now, why did I read that as "Sophocles' choice"? WHY?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 2:16 pm

There's revelations, and then there's Revelations, dear Biely. As you know only too well.

Chichikovovich September 8, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Perhaps I'm still missing something crucial, but at least in England (and in Canada until the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, after which things got complicated, but not, as I understand it, essentially different) the mens rea requirement can be satisfied without explicit intent. Hence my question about the US. Are you saying that there is no analogue of criminal negligence in the US? I find that surprising, but then of course I find many things about my new home surprising.

Degrees of mens rea: [Note the last]
(From Wikipedia, source of all wisdom)

England
Direct intention: the actor has a clear foresight of the consequences of his actions, and desires those consequences to occur. It's his aim or purpose to achieve this consequence (death).
Oblique intention: the result is a virtually certain consequence or a 'virtual certainty' of the defendant's actions, and that the defendant appreciates that such was the case.[4][5][6]
Knowingly: the actor knows, or should know, that the results of his conduct are reasonably certain to occur
Recklessness: the actor foresees that particular consequences may occur and proceeds with the given conduct, not caring whether those consequences actually occur or not[7][8][9]
Criminal negligence: the actor did not actually foresee that the particular consequences would flow from his actions, but a reasonable person, in the same circumstances, would have foreseen those consequences

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 3:20 pm

My dear Chich, you must ask Biely, Hogeye_Grex, Soros, or sully to discuss this with you. I ought to be as diligent as you and go dig up the information. It's right to hand. But I must beg off as I have other things to do right now. I do apologize, since discussion with you is an utter delight.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 9, 2012 at 5:37 am

In the US, those are statutory terms — and I'm not aware of any states that have statutes about "criminally negligent breaking and entering." Thus, no crime per se, and you won't find the district attorney prosecuting anybody.
Which still leaves the victims with an iron-clad civil case that any attorney would drool over: there's nothing to do but sit down with Wells Fargo's attorneys and discuss, "How much?"

GemlikeFlame September 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Troll is as troll does, not worth any more effort. The biggest problem with even the best of the available information on rape and related problems is that the obvious underreporting produces inconsistencies that throws serious doubt on the accuracy of the results. One of those is the rate of pregnancy resulting from rape, which seems to be approximately half of what it should be expected to be, which leads us to the Todd Aiken stupidity. Add that to a generalized belief that raped women were somehow asking for it, and the probability that we'll get legislation that effectively deals with the problem drops close to zero.

bibliotequetress September 8, 2012 at 5:11 pm

My guy Piocah is also a whopping big pussy, as it were! He weighs about 18 pounds, hides under the bed when he hears thunder and once, I kid you not, ran away from a mouse. He was never talky when he was younger. His late, much missed, comparatively tiny brother Padraig was the chatty one. Piocah rarely meowed for the first eight years of his life, and when he did, it was very high pitched and wimpy, coming out of such a big cat. We called him Mike Tyson. After Padraig died, though, Piocah got mouthier and mouthier and his voice got deeper. He realized that he could no longer rely on his brother to annoy me until I got out of bed at 4 AM to feed him. And he was on his own in competition with our other cats. Now he's 15, our only cat, and commands us like the voice of God.

I love that yours talks in his sleep! That's more empirical evidence for my theory that cats have much richer interior lives than they normally let on. Piocah snores like the devil, but doesn't talk in his sleep. I also find cats fascinating. Truthfully, I find all animals fascinating and would happily spend my life being all Jane Goddall if I could. However, I have a very soft spot for cats.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

When I was still working on the issue, back before the Neanderthals died off, the JD statistics said some 80% of rapes were never even reported. I don't know what the stats are now, but it's clear that those of us who are trying to influence the politics and policies of our nation need to arm ourselves with facts to the best of our ability. Americans, on the whole, seem surprisingly uninterested in the sausage-making that ends up controlling their lives. Thanks, dear friend, for the information, and for your friendship. (Hugs you)

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Zingiber (what else) broke the scales at 23 lb (the last time we weighed him; he was TERRIFIED of the scale and would go into a howling, tail-rotoing, clawing shitfit when we put him on it or even if we held him and stepped on it. The vet's office red-tagged his file ("likes to attack humans") and stopped weighing him around that time, too.

Madu (which means "honey" in Bahasa Indonesia) is an affable lump of about 15 lb, long, lazy, and utterly loveable, and definitely possessed of a rich interior life, despite being A Cat Of Very Little Brain.

My vet assures me that ginger kitties are the most affectionate, and Zingiber was certainly proof of that. He couldn't sleep without me, in fact without wrapping his furry arms around my neck (ugh, what breath), and often expressed frustration when grooming my head-fur because it got wound around his tongue. A sweet, loving idiot who flew into rages at the vet's and attacked humans many times his size. Also liked threatening raccoons, but only from INSIDE the house, the chicken.

bibliotequetress September 8, 2012 at 5:45 pm

I have always believed ginger cats are the most loving and the most batshit crazy. Because of both qualities, while I haven't only had gingers, I've always had gingers. When we had cats all over the bed (we maxed out at five) Piocah would sleep under the bed on my side– I would reach down in the night and he would rub his face against my hand. Now that he's alpha by default, he sleeps on my pillow, in my face. All night. We are nose to nose and his butthole is in Monsieur Bibliotequetress' face, which he bears with amazing good will.

I am impressed Zingiber threatened raccoons. Piocah would be terrified. Now, his little brother, who never weighed over 9 pounds, could definitely threaten to kick some raccoon ass, at least from the inside of the kitchen.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I'm beginning to think so. I call 'em "blondinkas," because they can be SO ditzy. Zingiber, to be fair, only threatened raccoons from inside the safety of the house. Once outside, he was terrified of EVERYthing. We used to pick him up when he was on the deck and hold him high. He would look around and let out a wail of horrifying proportions. He was scared of heights! What a doofus. I miss him so much. Somewhere there's a ginger kitteh waiting for me, I know it.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 8, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Sorry to burst your bubble but it hasn't rained up here in like six weeks. And while we are not devoid of fog, it is much more of a coastal thing.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Someday I'm'a take you to some street stall where the old Indian guys hold boiling hot glasses of "teh tarek" made with ginger and cinnamon and black pepper, and THEN we'll see what you say, missy.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Stop it, you're making me wanna move there. We almost had a thunderstorm here theother night. In the middle of summer! So this woman I knew moved to Seattle, and she had to move back because it rained so much it gave her SAD (not A sad, although after paying all that money and schlepping her poor dog off with her, she probly had one of those, too). True story? Or was she just lying her ass off because she chickened out at the thought of having to wing it far from home?

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm

That sounds great! But I'll probably just tell everyone how much better they make it at Starbucks. Then you'll roll your eyes and make a comment about how this is why we can't have nice things. Then I'll make a poop joke. Then we'll get drunk, which is why I don't remember what happens next.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 8, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I think with global climate change WA is going to become the new CA. Which means I will have to move to Alaska. But yeah, we can go months in the winter without seein the sun. But the rain is exaggerated. It rarely rains hard enough to keep people from doing the things they want to do. But then I am a native who gets grumpy above 80 degrees.

glasspusher September 8, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Hey my friend,She hates teh bankz and needs a new career path. The bike wipe out damage is slowly fading.The old injury to the back of my ribs is not much better though.I switched physicians because the the one I had sucked. Got a physical therapist who seems what she knows what she's doing too. How are you holding up?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Well, that totes sounds like a plan to me.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 9:37 pm

As I get older I find it more difficult to tolerate the heat myself, not that we HAVE any in this little fog belt. But I think she was just trying to discourage me from visiting because I flirted all the time with her hot girlfriend. I have SAD, and winter seriously sucks hind end for me because I get severely depressed even though I bought a bunch of full-spectrum lights and stuck 'em up all over. If I ever off myself, it'll be in the midst of a bone-chilling gray and gloomy winter.

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Heyo.

PTs are the bestest. They really work your ass off, though. I'm thinking I need some PT to correct a gait problem that seems to be causing uneven joint wear, but no biggie. Lots to do, getting lots done, life is good, even though I see winter approaching.

Ribs are delicate little fuckers, aren't they? Maybe the PT can help with the scar tissue, if that's your problem.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 8, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Can't take the heat, but need the sun. Thats a bad combination, partner. Montana maybe?

MittBorg September 8, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Sucks, don't it? And I'm *brown,* too. Which kinda sorta makes Montana not a healthy place maybe?

I grew up in the tropics and anything more or less than 12 hours of daylight messes with my body clock something awful. And that's the REAL reason we can't have nice things, Katie.

bibliotequetress September 9, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I am sure there is a ginger in your future. Zingeber was lucky to have you. Any ginger should wish themselves so lucky.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 9, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Hating lawers, and hiring them, are by no means mutually exclusive.

MittBorg September 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Thanks. (Hugs you)

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