the teutonic menace

GOP Rep: Student Loans Will Lead To A Holocaust Run By German-Americans, Obviously

I cannot tell a lie: I was the first fascistWay out in the western part of the great state of Maryland is a mountainous land that is mostly rural and white and working class, more Winter’s Bone than The Wire. This corner of the state has been represented approximately forever by Roscoe Bartlett, an 86-year-old Republican who has something of a reputation of being “one of the sane ones” on that side of the aisle. But ol’ Roscoe is in a tough re-election fight this year, so he’s had to maybe pander a little bit, to improve his poll numbers. Like, telling your constituents at a town hall meeting that federally subsidized student loans will basically lead to a new Holocaust, a Holocaust perpetrated by the millions of German-Americans who are just lurking among us, just waiting for their orders from their dead Nazi overlords to rise up and slaughter the Jews — that’s what they want to hear, right? That’ll get votes?

We feel mildly bad for poor old Roscoe, because the mean Democratic-run state government gerrymandered the crap out of his district last year so that it now contains lots of irritating liberal suburbanites in Montgomery County. (In the process, they packed more Republican voters into the district of the awful Andy Harris, ensuring he’ll be around forever, gross.) But still, that’s the the kind of scenario when you want to pivot towards the middle a bit, not tell people that the federally subsidized student loans that huge numbers of Americans hold are the first step on the road to Nazi treachery, as he does in this video!

If you didn’t follow that (and of course you didn’t, because he’s a mumbly old man and the sound in the video is terrible), Bartlett’s logic goes like this, as interpreted by the Washington Post:

  • Student loans are fine, really, there’s nothing wrong with them.
  • But if you look at the Constitution, it doesn’t explicitly say that the Federal government should have any role in education.
  • If the Federal government does something good that isn’t in the Constitution, what’s to keep it from doing something bad that isn’t in the Constitution?
  • Something like … the Holocaust???
  • Speaking of the Holocaust, there sure are a lot of Americans of German descent. Just sayin’.

Bartlett subsequently apologized for invoking the 20th century’s worst horror in response to a low-key question about education policy, and for questioning the loyalty of the German Volk on American soil. He did not, naturally, apologize for saying that a program that for decades has provided access to higher education for non-rich Americans is unconstitutional. [WaPo]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Hey Roscoe, the right to being an asshole isn't in the Constitution either, but you are one.

    • An_Outhouse

      I liked the shouty, first version better.

      • nounverb911

        CAPS LOCK, USER ERROR.

    • hagajim

      What is it with the olds? They seem to get more and more skeered all the time. I guess Lindsey is right, it is the party of angry old white guys.

      • freakishlywrong

        It's not so much as an old thing as it as an old, white thing.

      • margotchanning

        RETIRE OLD MAN!

        • miss_grundy

          That may very well happen on November 6th and it would be a good thing. My friends live in Montgomery County and I know they'll be voting for the Democrat.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Little known fact: a recently unearthed draft copy of the Fifteenth Amendment shows that Senator Stewart scratched out "assholishness" and inserted "creed" instead.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Apollo Creed is in the Constitution?

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      There is no law against making a person look like an idiot if they are willing to cooperate.

    • Zepster

      I'm from Allegany County Maryland but escaped after college. Thanks to their adherence to the constitution I was saved from intrusive governmental intervention and was not exposed to the evil communist plot that was fluoridated water. I also have spent hundreds of hours in dental chairs ever since. Thank you Roscoe!

  • An_Outhouse

    He's suspicious of German Americans? Is he trolling for a Faux gig by out Malkining Malkin?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Michelle Manikin?

    • eggsacklywright

      Beware the Hun.

    • Ruhe

      Malkin Manque?

    • http://estevancarlos.com american__mutt

      She's not as loud anymore. I miss her.

  • no_gravity

    Bartlett's just playing the Republican parlor game Six Degrees of the Holocaust.

    • Doktor Zoom

      The odds pretty much guarantee that at some point, a politician named "Godwin" will make a Nazi analogy and have no idea why everyone thinks it's funny

    • OneDollarJuana

      Kyra Sedgwick played a Holocaust survivor in the 1985 film "War and Love". Kevin Bacon is married to Kyra Sedgwick. 2 degrees! Hah!

      • TribecaMike

        Kyra Sedgwick is Jewish. One degree!

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    You know what else led to the Holocaust?

    • eggsacklywright

      Two little Hitlers?

      • Boojum

        They fought it out until one little Hitler did the other one's will.

    • MadBrahms

      The Reichstag Fire? (OK, OK, the answer is Obamacare)

    • no_gravity

      Moses?

    • UnholyMoses

      The Holocaust?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Clothiers with insufficient dye stocks?

    • ChernobylSoup

      Fuel economy standards for new cars and light trucks?

    • SorosBot

      The Oscars? Oh wait, no, the Holocaust leads to them.

      • ChernobylSoup

        Nice.

      • MissTaken

        Golf clap.

        • SorosBot

          Aw, thanks.

    • Beowoof

      Circumcision.

    • Chichikovovich

      Bismark introducing old-age pensions and workman's compensation? Ernst Abbe's Zeiss factories in Jena introducing paid sick leave, paid vacations and the 8-hour workday? The Dada movement and the degenerate art of George Grosz? …

      Really, there are too many possibilities to choose from… Can you give a hint?

      • C_R_Eature

        What is "An Austrian Paperhanger, " Alex?

        • Chichikovovich

          Rats, then I was way off. I was about to guess "The Oberammergau Passion Play".

          • C_R_Eature

            Guido von List just had himself a little chuckle.

        • Veritas78

          One-armed, or two? Cuz the former are generally way too busy to start a holocaust.

    • Steverino247

      Masturbation? No, wait. That's hairy palms. I'm stumped.

    • C_R_Eature

      Putsching and Tschoving in the Beer Hall?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Uppity Jews and a homosexual or two?

    • SorosBot

      Misinterpreting Nietzsche?

    • widestanceromance

      All of us, Zoidy.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Too many Jews for Adolf's liking?

    • Weenus299

      The Road to Damascus?

      • Chichikovovich

        Tabarnak that's excellent. Post of the month, IMO.

        [You wouldn't be from Tarsus, would you? ]

        • Weenus299

          I keep falling off that damn horse.

          • Chichikovovich

            At least the horse is tax-deductible. [But then I'm sure I don't have to tell you anything about the tax code.]—

    • MosesInvests

      1500 years of priests and preachers teaching hatred of Jews?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      I was going with 'Bronies'.

      • finallyhappy

        I just learned what they were – from a 13 year old girl.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Wagner's music being much better than it sounds?

      • James Michael Curley

        Wagner is better to be heard and not seen.

    • randomsausage

      the great German bagel shortage of 1932?

    • jodyleek

      M. Luther's "On the Jews and Their Lies"?

    • OneDollarJuana

      I do know what could have prevented the Holocaust: tax cuts.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Yes, but only for billionaires.

    • ph7

      A twinkle in Alois Hitler's eye?

    • RadioX

      The Enola Gay?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        She was?

      • doloras

        She should have stayed at home yesterday.

    • gullywompr

      Sure. The assasination of Austrian Archduke Ferdinand by Serbian paramilitary terrorists sparked a series of events that started World War I, which Germany lost, whereupon the Armistice was implemented, stipulating the effective dissolution of German military might. A post-war global economic deprssion followed, giving rise to extremists, one of which was Adolph Hitler who used a blame of Armistice agreement as a means to forment nationalism, and also used antisemitism as a scapegoat for economic issues. These conditions allowed the covert implementation of a systematic genocide program, resulting in the deaths of as many as 17 million persons.

      Hope this helps…

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Oh my god, it did! Thank you soooo much!

        • gullywompr

          Wonkette may be the only blog in the world where the actual, factual, correct answer is, in itself, snark.

      • HistoriCat

        Is this going to be on the final?

      • Boojum

        Sounds a lot like Obamacare.

      • Veritas78

        Wow. It all makes sense now…

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      My subsidized student loan?

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Yes, you bastard.

        • ph7

          If I had a time machine, I would go back and cancel his loan, and save the world.

    • TribecaMike

      A vegetarian diet?

  • LibertyLover

    Invoking Godwin's law? How droll.

    • MistaEko

      Godwin's law presumes a lengthy point-counterpoint debate has occurred/will occur. The party has hit the "creeping fascism" point so many times they've started jumping right to it.

      We need a Heisenberg corrollary: You cannot determine when Hitler is going to be invoked without first knowing how long the batshits have been out of office.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Handled:

        Case's Corollary to the Law states "if the subject is Heinlein or homosexuality, the probability of a Hitler/Nazi comparison being made becomes equal to one" – but that's just an old list. Abortion and gun control debates always lead to Nazi comparisons; talk with a Libertarian for more than a few hours and he'll almost certainly bring up Nazis; book-burning is pretty much considered a sub-topic of Nazism at this point. Hell, talk about anything politically related and
        you'll eventually get there.

    • sullivanst

      Seems more gauche to me, somehow.

  • hagajim

    Roscoe ought to go back to being Sheriff. Those Duke boys have been running amok again.

  • DocChaos

    A holocaust of eduction – the final solution to the ignorance problem.

    • eggsacklywright

      Ignorance is good. Ignorance = more Repub votes.

      • sullivanst

        Rich/stupid/stupid/rich etc etc.

    • sewollef

      Hmm…. must remember to listen to some New Order and A Certain Ratio on my commute home tonight, while I read the latest issue of Der Stürmer on my iPad.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Needz moar 9/11 references.

    • nounverb911

      Rudy, Rudy, Rudy……..

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Student loans, therefore, lead to learning, and say, you know who else liked learning?

    • no_gravity

      William F. Buckley?

    • RRoccoco

      I know! I know! Trick question–you expect people to say Shicklegruber, but in fact the answer: SATAN!

      He got Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge Of Birth Control Socialism! All downhill from there, except for St. Reagan's reign of Light Fingered Looting of the Economy. Good times back then.

    • Chichikovovich

      Alexander Pope?

      • C_R_Eature

        A little, but it can be a dangerous thing.

        • Chichikovovich

          Very true. That's why our Wonkette motto is "Drink deep! …. it largely sobers us again".

          (At least, I think it's the Pierian spring the motto refers to.)

          • C_R_Eature

            Eh, it works either way.

            EDIT: "There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain, and drinking deeply largely sobers de-Pantses us again."

            I speak from experience.

          • Doktor Zoom

            I thought it was "Some drink deeply at the Fountain of Knowledge. I prefer to gargle."

            (Polar bear poster in 10th grade math class, ca. 1978)

          • C_R_Eature

            That sounds like something Groucho would say. My personal hero.

          • Doktor Zoom

            Marxist-Lennonist thought, eh?

  • Goonemeritus

    Well until I paid mine off a few years back I did keep looking at maps of Poland for plausible invasion routes.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I had to annex the Sudetenland to pay mine off

      • hagajim

        I figure I'll keep postponing paying mine – until I die.

      • no_gravity

        Ha! The real money was with the anschluss.

        • eggsacklywright

          "Major Marvy sucks dick!"

          Slothrop was right.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Someone needs to tell Roscoe he's doing the pander bear thing all wrong! Dude's 86. He should be perched on his LazyBoy, watching the Price is Right & poking the dog with his cane.

    • Fare la Volpe

      poking the dog with his cane

      This is the worst game of Spot the Euphemism ever.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Ha ha…this describes my (now deceased) grandfather to a T. Except he used to also clack his dentures together–a creepy sound I will carry with me to my grave. When he would sit in his recliner, he would jab the dog with his cane because I guess old people are kind of dicks to animals (except even he wouldn't have strapped one to the roof of his car).

        • Fare la Volpe

          old people are kind of dicks to animals
          kind of dicks to animals
          dicks to animals

          YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS BETTER.

          • Doktor Zoom

            The moon laughs knowingly.
            the moon laughs!
            the moon…

            the.

  • kittensdontlie

    I am planning a Republican Holocaust this November, with VOTES.

  • freakishlywrong

    Anything they find un-konstitushional will now cause a holocaust. This should be a fun coupla months. Fer fuck's sake.

    • Terry

      Just wait until Barry is reelected. The wingnuts will drop all pretense of being sane.

      • freakishlywrong

        Oh Terry, they already have..

        • miss_grundy

          But wouldn't it be nice if they all had brain aneurysms? We could get rid of a whole bunch of them at once…….

  • eggsacklywright

    I occasionally have an original thought.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Roscoe Bartlett's Bund(t) takes the cake.

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Grandpa needs his aricept.

    • BadKitty904

      Truly. Time for a lil' Triumph of the Pill…

    • OneYieldRegular

      If there's a slippery slope, it's between the few neurons still firing.

  • LibrarianX

    Roscoe got it backwards. If he asked his friends, they would tell him that Hollywood and the money are controlled by teh Jooooz.

  • Tundra Grifter

    The Boreman Brotherhood.

  • LibertyLover

    If the Federal government does something good that isn’t in the Constitution, what’s to keep it from doing something bad that isn’t in the Constitution?

    Oh, you mean like maybe the Dred Scott decision or Plessy vs. Ferguson?

    • hagajim

      Or maybe Citizens United.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Now that you mention it, I don't recall any mention in the Constitution of invading another country based on trumped up intelligence of possible WMDs.

  • ravi_shankar

    WaPo gets twice as much revenue from its for-profit college scam as from its newspaper.

    Madison wrote that it was okay dokey in Federalist Paper #$$$.

  • Hera Sent Me

    If a teabagger reads the Constitution in the woods and doesn't understand it, does he still get Medicare?

    • LibertyLover

      Only if he doesn't get treaded on — or cuts a snake into parts.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Only after he wipes.

    • hagajim

      Unfortunately yes. A Hoverround is a Constitutional Right, and keep your dirty gubmint hands off my Medicare.

    • sewollef

      Coming to you from the Department of Redundancy Department…

      or….

      if I was back in England it'd be the Ministry of Redundancy Ministry.

      Tomayto, Tomahto, let's call the whole thing off.

  • FraAnima

    "Hey you kids, get off my loan!"

  • ChernobylSoup

    …mostly rural and white and working class.

    When I see these words I know something bad is about to happen.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Squeeeeellll like a pig!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Alcohol may play a role.

    • e_z

      Hagerstown Maryland, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy as Obie Wan would say.It was a strong Roscoe hive of support. When I worked in that area it was 25 years behind reality. Now it is about 45 years behind.

      • ChernobylSoup

        I live in rural Arkansas; it's much the same. I'm a big proponent of getting broadband to these areas in the hope of bringing them into the late 20th century (we'll work on advancing to the 21st century later). High speed Internet isn't the only answer but it's a start. Problem is the telecoms don't see any ROI in rural areas.

  • TootsStansbury

    Is this where I'm supposed to answer the question with anyone but Hitler?

    • T3rbo

      Hitler is unavailable for comment, you are on your own

  • elviouslyqueer

    Man. Wilfred Brimley looks like shit these days.

    • Fare la Volpe

      It's the diabeetus, duh.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        "It's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it."

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    OMG! It's Mein Kampus!

    • soeoho

      Das Goot!

    • eggsacklywright

      Personally, I prefer the vinyl solution.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Luddite! MP3 is the way to go.

        • eggsacklywright

          I admit there are times I'd like to smash the machine. What is a Manual Player 3?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    George Washington was a traitor. We need to proclaim fealty to thee Kinge Of Englande once more!

    • Boojum

      Peggy?

  • iamrrm

    Let Bartlett be Bartlett?

  • soeoho

    Yessirree! I'm a muvin' tu marryland! No Jackbooted edgukators gonna snob-poysun usins and the yugnuns. Hellfire…I got writes!

  • IncenseDebate

    For a country with so many Germans we sure have an awful intercity passenger train system.

    • Steverino247

      Yeah, they don't run on time or anything…

  • pdiddycornchips

    The Constitution doesn't explicitly mention vagina's or blah's or midget wrestling so all of those things are totally UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!

  • MadBrahms

    The Boys from Brazil Area Technical College

  • UnholyMoses

    If having a student loan makes one a Nazi, The Mrs and I will be members in good standing for, oh, about the next 25 years or so.

    First order of business: Replace the swastika with a dollar sign.

    • PinkoPopulist

      If having student loans makes one a Nazi then I must be Joseph Goebbels.

      • Generation[redacted]

        I'm just standing by watching the trains deliver the graduates' monthly repayment checks to government processing facilities as if I know nothing about it.

  • IncenseDebate

    Ein volk ein reich ein weiner head.

  • SorosBot

    There is someone in the world who is actually named Roscoe? I thought that ridiculous-sounding, obviously fake name was just made up for Dukes of Hazzard.

    • HistoriCat

      Things were very different back in the Roaring Twenties. It was the time of Jazz and Prohibition. Bartlett's parents obviously drank too much bathtub gin mixed with wood alcohol.

    • Fare la Volpe

      There are men in this world named Lindsay.

      Anything's possible.

      • SorosBot

        The South seems to love giving men women's names (see also Hailey Barber).

  • PinkoPopulist

    Yet another reason why we need to stop letting immigrants into this country! They'll perpetrate the 2nd holocaust, most likely during our 3rd World War with Iran.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Romney's worried about the Soviets, Roscoe is worried about the Bund. Either the Repubs are really working on that centenarian demographic or the ghost of Hearst is a consultant.

  • SorosBot

    And sigh; once again, an actual elected politician fails on knowledge of the Constitution. What part of "The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States" do you not understand?

    • Chichikovovich

      Maybe the part that says "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." should have occurred earlier in the document. Wingnuts find it difficult to read very far into the Constitution, apparently.

      • bobbert

        They only read it for the Articles.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I think you stumped them at that whole "actually reading the damn thing" thing.

    • MosesInvests

      Has to be said-AOT,K.

    • sewollef

      Dang, the constitution is NOT meant to be read, it's meant to be fapped to.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    He's just bummed Honey Boo Boo's family can't vote for him.

  • LibertyLover

    Indoor plumbing isn't mentioned in that Constitution thingy either, but I am dang sure I can just go down the hall to pee instead of peeing in the backyard.

  • thurufally

    I always get a kick out of Alzheimer's patients discussing constitutional issues.

  • LibertyLover

    I ate a pear named Bartlett once.

  • IncenseDebate

    First they came and educated the kids who couldn't afford it, and I didn't speak up because I needed the money to go to college, then they killed all the Jews.

  • Beowoof

    I really do believe Skeeter Pac needs a donation in this guys name. http://soundcloud.com/mike-in-raleigh/skeeterpac

  • Blunderthing

    Mean Mr. Mustard. Always shouts out something obscene. What a dirty old man. But you should see Polythene Pam. You should see her in drag. Dressed in a polythene bag.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    It's a slippery slope from incoherent babbling about Nazis to a diagnosis of dementia.

  • Steverino247

    So FEMA is some kind of German acronym?

    • sewollef

      Why yes it is.

      Katastrophenschutzbehörde is a German word, that translates into English as F-E-M-A.

      But be careful, if provoked, they'll send the Sonderabteilung der Vereinigte Staaten after your ass.

      You don't want that.

      • Steverino247

        If they wear blue helmets, can I greet them as liberators?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Funny how the right wing nutz had no objection to the student loan program when it consisted of Federal loan guarantees. The private lenders took the profits and the taxpayers got the losses.

    Mr. Obama didn't think the lenders needed subsidies. So now the Federal government is a direct lender – collecting over 3% when 10-year Treasuries are just over 1%. And the right wing fringe doesn't like it.

    Meanwhile private lenders are back in the market without those Federal government loan guarantees are in some cases offering lower fixed rates than the Feds! Mr. Obama's plan worked.

  • C_R_Eature

    The fact that Roscoe Bartlett will no doubt go down in flames does little to mitigate the fact that my execrable know-nothing Club For Growth tool congressman Andy Harris will be around for at least one more election cycle. All I can really hope for is that by some miracle he's kicked off the chair position of the Energy & Environment committee, where his sole qualification seems to be that he's the Congressman from the Club for Growth.

    I'd really like to kick the entire MD redistricting committee straight in the Nutz. And not with votes, either.

    • JohnnyQuick

      I have the same problem. Too bad we didn't get to keep Wayne Gilchrist, eh? Now there was a RINO who truly was too good for the Republican party: voted against invading Iraq, etc.

      • C_R_Eature

        Ah, a Fellow Sufferer! Ah, I really miss Wayne, he's the very last republican I crossed over to vote for. A Nam vet and as strong on Bay and other environmental issues as you could find. Pro choice, too – I think. Definitely way out of step with today's Troglopublicans.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      you should let loose some cephalopods.

  • DahBoner

    All the dinosaurs died and then the Arabs bought Mercedes. The End.

  • Fare la Volpe

    I really hate America today. And life in general for that matter. Now if I just had money for sex and drugs, I could relieve both these problems.

    I wonder how many brownies we still have in the freezer…

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Sweaty fit young men in spandex ought to help, at least for another hour or so

    • eggsacklywright

      Don't forget the booze, it's good for a couple of hours of thinking maybe things aren't so bad.

    • Crank_Tango

      I just realized that I have all my work done until I get more (next week), have some netflix and nothing to do.
      Who's down to rip some bong hits and watch Enter the Dragon?

      • Jimmyone

        Whoa…Memememememe…best offer I've had all week. I do have to clean out my irrigation ditch yet…ah fuck it…pass the bong and turn up the sound…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I am really getting tired of these strict interpretation of the constitution buttheads. Cars weren’t in the constitutions were they? How about AK-47s? Cigarettes? Toilets? Huh? WHAT ABOUT THE UNCONSTITUTIONAL TOILETS!!!!!!!

  • Terry

    "This corner of the state has been represented approximately forever by Roscoe Bartlett, an 86-year-old Republican who has something of a reputation of being “one of the sane ones” on that side of the aisle."

    This is a frightening statement, as old Roscoe is batshit crazy. He spends an inordinate amount of this time urging his constituents to plan for the coming apocalypse. I wish I was kidding about that.

    • C_R_Eature

      "One of the Sane Ones"? Roscoe Bartlett? Just whoinhell was crazy enough to say that? I know, low bar and everything, but..

  • Weenus299

    I hate Maryland nazis.

  • rickmaci

    Roscoe Bartlett? I though he was the county sheriff in the Dukes of Hazzard?

  • Wilcoxyz

    To be fair, the holocaust isn't in the constitution either, so that shouldn't be happening by his logic.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Geez, for us old geezers – when the actual (literal!) Holocaust was happening, there was still a Constitution and more Germans living in the U.S. than any other ethnic group…people were going around painting German barns yellow and yelling anti-German epithets, while those American Germans were putting on U.S. uniforms and going to war against Hitler….huh!,,,,

  • MacRaith

    But wait, the Allies in Europe who defeatd the Nazis were led by a German-American general. So no matter which side you're on, German-Americans are clearly trouble.

    • MosesInvests

      Yeah, and the Pacific Theater was led by Admiral Nimitz! Can't trust those f*cking Huns!

  • veence69

    It doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution that I SHOULDN'T jam a steak knife in my eye and run out in front of a bus. It doesn't tell me to wipe my ass after shitting. It fails to mention whether or not I should put food in my mouth if I feel hungry. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE DECISIONS IF THE CONSTITUTION DOESN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

  • proudgrampa

    What? No, really. What is this shit all about?? proudgrampa has a confused…

  • Jus_Wonderin

    For some reason, maybe education or germans, I am reminded of a poster Mrs. Stutsman had tacked to the corkboard near the pencil sharpener. It was a full color rememberance of all those who died in the Holocaust showing the multitudes of bodies stacked like cord wood. This made a BIG impression on a then 3rd grader. I loved that lady.

  • sewollef

    What a stupid old twat, he should retire and let a younger and more zealot-ist type teabagger take over the reins.

    Until that is, we can round them all up into our secret FEMA camps for reeducation.

  • Thunderclees

    1. Maryland was the only Catholic colony back in the day.

    2. Catholic bishop Alois Hudal smuggled Nazis through rat lines to South America.

    3. Therefore, Holocaust.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Maryland = Catholic colony
      Catholic priests = Child molesters
      Marylanders = Child molesters

      Simple logic

  • James Michael Curley

    Hey pops, you don't sit down and your grandson Josiah Edward is going to put you in a home.

  • marconidarwin

    "It isn't in the Constitution" needs to be exposed for the Ann Coulter that it is. Air force, congressional districts, electoral college, freedom of expression, right to travel, immigration, right to vote (oh, wait…) etc. are NOT in the Constitution either.

    Neither is "unless it is specifically mentioned by exact phrasing, it is unconstitutional"

  • mavenmaven

    Student Loans? Oh, I thought you said Lebensraum.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Hmmm — has Mr. Bartlett also noticed that Congressional pensions aren't in the Constitution?

  • thefrontpage

    Josh: Excuse the non-humor, but you're wrong on one point about Bartlett. I'm involved with Maryland politics, and am from Western Maryland, and I talk to people in Western Maryland, the D.C. suburbs and Annapolis every day of the week. I can tell you honestly and factually that Bartlett has NEVER been considered "one of the sane ones," in any party, from any perspective, from anyone in any party, and from anyone from Western Maryland to the Eastern Shore. He is generally considered, and has been considered, for decades–not months or years, but decades–generally as a moron, as a terrible politician, as eccentric in the bad way, as erratic, as someone who just plain does not understand government and politics, as a shady and questionable and untruthful politician and businessman, and generally as a slightly nutball, nutty, crazy and inneffective politician and businessman. THAT is the zeitgeist on Bartlett–and, again, that comes from people in all parties, from Western Maryland to the Eastern Shore. Bartlett should never have been elected to office–and he is a terrible politician.

    • jfruh

      I am afraid that maybe I was thinking of Wayne Gilchrest, the guy who Andy Harris primaried in '08? I knew that one of the long-time MD Rs was considered a non-nut.

      • HistoriCat

        Gilchrist was a RINO. Bartlett is your typical Appalachian crazy.

  • a_pink_poodle

    He's right there's an awful lot of people who fit the bill of Aryan…

  • Generation[redacted]

    What if you cold go back in time and kill Hitler, thereby erasing all your student loas?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Do they think "promote the general welfare" means promoting a General named "Welfare" to some higher rank?

  • Tundra Grifter

    "There are more people of German ancestory in the United States today than from any other country – including English."

    Well, my wife would be one of those. I guess that means our kids are a couple more.

    But I have a hard time believing there are more people of Germany ancestory than, say, Mexican.

    And I have an even harder time figuring out why in the Hell it makes any difference at all.

    • shelwood46

      We are in charge of organizing the coming American Holocaust. Did you not get the evite?

  • MissTaken

    Nowhere in the Constitution does it say I need to help little old ladies cross the road. So fuck those little old ladies, or as they should be called, Little Hitlers.

  • finallyhappy

    Did anyone mention Roscoe's repeating(but in his own words) the rape doesn't cause many pregnancies crap last week? And no, I do not live in that part of Maryland- I never even drive near there.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    If we HAVE to hate an ethnic group, there are worse….

    haha just jesting meinen freuden.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    OT: Carville and Matlin are having some kind of "comfort debate" in banners all over the Wonkette. I really don't need to hear those two lizards arguing about their sex life. The product is Astroglide, right?

    • SorosBot

      I'm still just getting the ads for the amazing product that will make your kids' room all neat. But I don't have or want kids!

      • Chichikovovich

        Are you absolutely sure? No possibility of changing your mind?

        [Looks around]

        OK, I'll let you in on a secret. That ad is a cruel mockery of the bitter truth: There is no product of any kind that will make kids' rooms neat for more than a microsecond.

    • Jerri

      It kind of looks like over the years they have been slowly melding into one person. It's starting to look like they share a face.

  • le petit mort

    "Mein Fuhrer…I can talk!"

  • fartknocker

    OT: Clint Eastwood was interviewed by his local newspaper and he's proud of his RNC speech, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan.
    http://www.pineconearchive.com/120907-1.html

    • Toomush_Infer

      Eastwood needs a doctor to check him for small strokes – regardless of his own belief in his performance, something is going wrong in him – it's not just "lefties" who should criticize that dumbshow….

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      I'm still hoping he'll just say: 'PSYCHE!!!"
      Ol' Clint is crazy like a fox, cause he sure screwed the GOP.

    • TribecaMike

      He's also proud of Pink Cadillac. Yeesh, what a stinker that was.

  • PuckStopsHere

    It is difficult not to be proud to be an American when one realizes that not only is this a fellow citizen, but an elected and sitting member of the House of Representatives. If this grand experiment, this democracy, fails, the explanation will be all too simple: We the people were too stupid to self-govern.

  • Amanwithnoplan

    I think what he was trying to say is that without the Constitution we're no different from Germany in the 1930's. OK…I guess–let's forget constitutional monarchies like England that kinda sorta resisted the Nazis without the Holy Parchment.

    Unfortunately he seems to be using the discredited (except for Nazis and Newt) idea that genetic history is more important than social conditions. "Thus if you have Germanic stock and no Constitution…Achtung, baby: Hitler!"

    • HistoriCat

      It's true – I have this strong urge to go to my Polish neighbors' house, kick down the front door, and toss them out.

  • anniegetyerfun

    We should probably kill all the white people, just to be on the safe side. You never know which one of them has SEKRIT GERMAN BLOOD and might rise up like some kind of sleeper cell.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I know my names sounds all Germany, but I'm Austrian, I swear to god! And Austrians are too lazy and drunk all the time to holocaust anything except a plate of sausages.

      • sullivanst

        You know who else was Austrian…

      • savethispatient

        A likely story, GroßenSchädelGeschlechtsverkehrHund, if that is your real name.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Ich bin un Swede, jawohl!!!!….

  • cromiller

    The German side of me is naturally just waiting to get orders from ol' Roscoe (and Boss Hogg, that swine!) to get all Holocausty. Fortunately, the Irish side of me keeps me drunk and incapacitated.

  • SorosBot

    Did the Wonkette staff have a delayed hangover from Barack's speech? It's been quiet here for two and a half hours now.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Morning sickness from all the impregnation.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    PELL GRANTS UBER ALLES!!

  • Antispandex

    In his defense there are LOTS of things that the Government does that aren't in the Constitution. Now, you may not believe this, but I looked it up, NOTHING about interstate highways. Really! I looked it up! Just think how much easier it will be for the Feds to round up the Jews with all of these roads! And I know you won't believe me, but that is just the tip of the Holocaust iceberg when it comes to things that are NOT in the Constitution. Look it up for yourselves.

  • deelzebub

    Zombie Nazi overlords…Holy shit. Forget Jeb Bush in 2016; we're facing a Prescott bush revival.

    • HistoriCat

      Is it a coincidence that Joseph Kennedy just won a primary?

      • TribecaMike

        Good catch

  • littlebigdaddy

    Scheisskopf!

  • littlebigdaddy

    I saw Brian Schweitzer give a speech once…a lot less cornpone than at the convention. He spoke movingly of the discrimination and violence against German-Americans, few of whom supported the Nazis. Rather, it was the Anglo types like Lindbergh who did.

  • TribecaMike

    Speaking of Maryland, what's up with Johns Hopkins? Shouldn't it be John's Hopkins, or was Hopkins slang for penis in the 19th century and they wanted to avoid any suggestion of crudity? John's Penis Hospital, John's Penis University, John's Penis School of Nursing — the mind (Freudian slang for penis) boggles.

  • Boojum

    Global warming causes student loans, which are fake, just like Obama's college certificate. Look it up. I read it somewhere.

  • Toomush_Infer

    No, it's that pissant jobs report – Rmoney's overjoyed….

  • TribecaMike

    Stick a mezuzah in him, he's done.

  • HolyCow!!

    Having dealt with student loans, I have no problem believing that the people who administrate them are Nazis.

  • Katydid

    Seriously, for a second, sorry, how do these fuckwads justify legislation concerning telecommunications, and anything else they didn't have in 1787? Or anything specifically not mentioned in the Constitution, such as abortion? I. Does. Not. Get. It.

  • philpjfry

    Sudent loan administrators are nazi cocksuckers. My best friends son had student loans, a great carreer, beautiful wife and son with another on the way. He was the american dream, Then he was killed in a tragic accident. No drugs or alcohol involved, nothing stupid just a one in a million accident. dead at 26. So of course the Student loan nazi's wrote to my friend and told him, while they were sorry about hus sons death, my friend is still on the hook for the loans. Now they have to write a check for their dead sons loan every month, just as a reminder in case they ever forget what it is like to loose a son. Fuck these people!!!

  • IndianaKevin

    I've got some German in me and this report makes me want to find a rail car and some Jews!

  • TribecaMike

    If this role doesn't get Bill Nighy an Oscar, nothing will.

  • CleverSobriquet

    I was a little ashamed the the great state of Maryland tried to gerrymander ol' Roscoe out of his seat but I could be persuaded otherwise

  • unclejeems

    Gimme my money or Prague is mine, sucka!

  • SaintRond

    Oh, come on. You tell me that every time you have dealings with your government, separate your trash, paint your address on the curb or have to obey those pesky traffic laws, that you don't want to go out and kill all the Jews.

    You people are so excitable. Jeez.

  • Goobernicus

    Thankfully, redistricting put me out of his district, He's a Teabagger and a survivalist.

  • ttommyunger

    What next, Clint Eastwood interviewing this old fuck's walker?

  • aaabbbey

    Uuurgh. He was a lot saner when he nominated me to a service academy eons ago. His staff was also very polite when I called before the DADT vote.

    Retirement would be a relief for this guy?

  • crybabyboehner

    Like the man said, he's one of the sane ones.

  • Troubledog

    Speaking of student loans, I feel like the positive benefits of the Holocaust don't get enough attention.

    For example, if there hadn't been the Holocaust, and the guilt-driven political aftermath thereof, there wouldn't be Israel. So there'd be six million more Jews in the 40s, and the lost opportunity costs of whatever increases would have been achieved through their progeny, but none of them would have a place to live.

  • Bestrides

    I always thought the whole student-loans-lead-to-killing-many-jews things was common knowledge. It explains why so many noble souls in our country have avoided the moral chasm of education and found their ethical purpose in carrying horribly misspelled signs with images of President Obama dressed as a witch doctor on them through town squares, screaming things like "Keep the Government's Hands of MY Medicare!!!"