GOP Puts Politics In Terms That Lady Voters Can Understand

This is the THING about lady voters you guys: they do not understand anything about politics or policy, it is too complex with them. If you want ladies to vote for your candidate, you must therefore explain things in terms they can understand, using metaphors about periods and boyfriends and shopping and whatnot. This is why the GOP has recently put out a fun new ad for lady voters wherein voting for Romney is compared to breaking up with a boyfriend because he cheats on them with Sarah Jessica Parker and plays too much golf.

In the ad, a woman (played by the GOP director of Messican outreach, so this is a twofer) complains to her boyfriend that he spends too much money and hangs out with celebrities and then sighs that he’s changed before the camera pans across the table to reveal a cardboard cut out of President Obama. First of all, everyone knows that Samantha was the slutty one in Sex and the City, so they should have referred to Kim Cattrall instead of SJP. And also, needs moar shopping.

[Washington Post]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

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  1. slithytoves

    You know you Republicans, if you're not going to take this election seriously then you're just wasting my time.

    1. JohnnyQuick

      I know some people who make commercials for Republicans (and are Republicans themselves).

      The depth of their contempt for their own group, how stupid they think the Republicans they are trying to reach out to are, is astounding. So this isn't that surprising.

      1. HistoriCat

        how stupid they think the Republicans they are trying to reach out to are

        And yet they may be underestimating the stupidity …

      2. miss_grundy

        The two women sitting at my table at bible study, who made ugly faces when the Dem convention was mentioned, probably have fallen in lorve with this ad. Of course to me they looked like overfed sows.

      1. Preferred Customer

        I was thinking it but didn't want to say it, because, you know. Objectifying women and so forth.

        Going to go back to watching that video of Jessica Alba being petted at the DNC.

  2. Toomush_Infer

    I love how hopeful the GOPsers are that someone, anyone, will embrace their ludicrosities – please!!!….and they're trying to tell us hope is gone….

  3. fartknocker

    Clint Eastwood talking to a chair was more informative than this commercial. I suspect Michael Steele quietly says "dumbass" when Reince Prebus is mentioned.

      1. Toomush_Infer

        Y'know, I used to think Michael Steele was creepy, but RNC Prebus is just, well, crawly might be a better word….does it just come and go with the job, or did they pick him out of some snakepit?….

        1. BoatOfVelociraptors

          I couldn't peg Steele as creepy. He seemed like a guy that had to republican it up to get ahead in life.

    1. GhostBuggy

      Did you ever think there would be a time when you thought the GOP was better off with Steele and his lesbian dom clubs?

    1. LibertyLover

      As if he could pass a kidney stone without passing out much less push out a baby (from a "legitimate" rape perhaps?)

  4. UnholyMoses

    These clowns have never talked to a real woman who wasn't enamored with their wealth/enraptured to Teh Jeezus/clinically fucking insane, have they?

    Dear GOP:


    Preferably, ones who don't think that their only job is to make sammiches and babies. You just might learn a thing or two.



    1. just_a_head

      Of course not! Why would they consort with lesbians?!?

      Clearly any woman who doesn't fully embrace her god-given role as submissive helpmeet and mother isn't a Real Woman; therefore, she must be (whispers) lebanese.

    1. Baconzgood

      If Newt wrote it it she would have shoved divorce papers in the cutout's face while it was on a hospital bed.

  5. Preferred Customer

    Also, this seems to be a great and nearly overlooked warblogging opportunity. Why is Jack Timoff breaking up with Obama? The GOP would like to know.

  6. iamrrm

    I'm starting a treatment center for those who talk to cardboard and empty chairs. First class accommodations in my crawlspace. I'm calling it Passages.

  7. actor212

    Lemme see, the best way to soothe women's hurt feelings about, say, "legitimate" rape or transvaginal raping and rolling back rape, sexual harassment and abuse statutes, is to insult them by having them talk to a fake boyfriend.

    Well, that makes sense. It's about him

  8. cheetojeebus

    So, when cardboard Obama beats the hell out of Romney in November. She'll want him back. Fukkin bitches.

    1. eggsacklywright

      I may be in the minority here, but I find SJP very attractive. I like a face with some character, not some bland, white-bread standard "pretty" one.

      1. actor212

        I worked one episode of Sex &…it's de riguer for a NYC actor. I also played a corpse on L&O, again, de riguer…she's tiny. I mean, like 4 foot nothing tiny. But she has boobs that could clear a table.

        1. eggsacklywright

          Corpse – de rigor, heh. Good one. And yes, her petiteness is also very appealing. I guess I have a fetish for scrawny girls. And a prominent proboscis is also a plus.

        2. finallyhappy

          I just met a guy who is an Atlanta actor/extra. Gave me the secret word for the Hunger Games production but I don't live in Atlanta and don't have the stamina(or bladder) to be an extra

          1. actor212

            I'll do it from time to time to keep my name in front of a casting director, usually as a favor because they know I'm reliable and usually available on short notice. One good thing about focusing on stage work, I suppose.

            But damn! And I'm union. I vaguely remember what non-union extra work was like, pulling all-nighters and standing around for hours with cookies and water for "craft services".

          1. James Michael Curley

            So you got to see/work with Jerry Orbach. One of the most underrated. Saw him in the premiers of Promises, Promises. Then at the Met watching the Raoul Julia version Three Penny Opera (best evah!) was totally shocked to see him and he actually talked to me during intermission.

            Word that you never get underrated.

          2. tessiee

            My parents saw him in "The Fantasticks" on Broadway, because they used to be cool and do things like go to Broadway shows on dates.

          3. James Michael Curley

            Me and the homeless guy who lives under the bridge on Highway 9 are the only NYC area people who have never seen “The Fantastics.” I think its because I subconsciously rebel against my English teacher who raved about it when it premiered and then blocked my attending the class trip for some totally forgotten infraction.

    2. tessiee

      Props to SJP for keeping the nose a vengeful God gave her.
      Seriously, you see so much plastic surgery, and so much of it is bad, among actresses *cough*Melanie Griffith*cough*, that you have to give some points for resisting the urge to be carved up to fit the image.

  9. Vagabond_Pants

    If the GOP understood anything about shallow lady voters, they would realize that nothing tops the President not only singing Al Green, but doing it well. Who's gonna break up with that?

  10. RRoccoco

    Presidential vacation time for first 31 months in office:

    George W. Bush 180 days
    Ronald Reagan 112 days
    Barack Obama 61 days
    Bill Clinton 28 days

    Hmmmm. Which party talks incessantly about hard work and individual responsibility? Obama can probably get more done on a round of golf than Bush if he were locked in the Oval Office and beaten every time he dozed off.

    But that Clinton is just a workaholic. Work it, Bill, work it!

    1. Chichikovovich

      Well, if I got more poontang than Frank Sinatra without leaving my office I wouldn't do much vacationing either.

  11. decay500

    I just…. I can't understa… confused…. How do they think this stuff up? What part of the creative impulse thinks of something like this and gets all juiced and creativey? Rnc Prbs must be a virus that works like that one that gets into ants and makes them crawl to the top of grass blades – the ants suddenly think that that's a good idea. I hope the outcome is the same for the rnc virus victims as for the ants, with votes.

    1. AncienReggie


      (They were going to go with the empty chair, but the set-up took too much additional narrative.)

    1. tessiee

      Jenna Jameson is a Romney supporter, and they probably could have gotten her for less than whatever they paid this gal.
      Worse actress, though.

  12. smitallica

    Say, what's Spanish for "Desperate attempt to appeal to Latino voters who wouldn't vote for you in a million fucking years because they hate your privileged, entitled ass"?

  13. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    What was that at the end? You want me to go to "" and tell you why I am breaking up with obama? Ooookay! Here's my addition to the website.

    "I am breaking up with Obama because he totes gave me herpes. I heard he got it from one of those celebrities he's been hanging out with. Also, did you guys know that he's a muslin?"

    1. AncienReggie

      I went with "I'm breaking up with our Kenyan overlord because he wanted me to do a menage a quatre with Fact and Sanity."

    2. kittensdontlie

      I have had it with those two. He and ol' Joe both got me impregnanted last night illegitimately…oh, but I wonder if I will hear from them today?

    3. eggsacklywright

      There used to be a hamburger chain in Seattle called Herfy's. I wonder why they went out of business?

    4. PinkoPopulist

      The people seriously visiting that site will be to dumb to realize that you just be trolling…they'll probably think you are one of Obama's long-lost college girlfriends from the enigmatic Columbia years and that he actually gave you herpes and forced you to attend his mosque.

    5. miss_grundy

      You should have said: I'm breaking up with Obama so we can get together again, because I hear the break-up and back together sex is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

      1. lizunyan

        His p-e-n-i-s was just entirely too big it absolutely decimated my cooter, ill be sticking with tiny peckers like rep paul ryans from now on THANKS OBAMA

  14. brabara

    "The Breakup" ???? If you want us to vote for your guy – I would suggest at least using PROPER FUCKING ENGLISH! It's Break Up you fuckwits!

  15. James Michael Curley

    Over the years especially in my post Army years in Pittsburgh, one of the most astute, effective and admittedly crafty politicians I was honored to meet (and work for) was Sophie Masloff in PGH's east side. I saw her step between a stand off between FASH and the Teamsters and fifteen minutes later they were shaking hands, slappin back and popin Irons like long lost brothers. She also stood down Kelly Mannarino and told him to get his people out of the Pitssburgh Mayor's race when a half an hour earlier every one was entering the room and kissing his ring.
    She is still alive at about 95 and, if sentient, I'm sure she is still a go to if you want to enter Western PA politics as a DEM

    1. Chichikovovich

      I'm quite impressed to hear this. I lived in PGH on and off during the years Masloff was the mayor, and (I'm embarrassed to say) I thought she was kind of a ditz who had ended up in the mayor's office by accident, due to Richard Caliguiri's unexpected death, and then just stayed there through the inertia of incumbency.

      I should have paid closer attention, and not been fooled so much by superficial aspects of her manner and speaking style.

      1. James Michael Curley

        She was, before she became a City Council member in 1975/6 a potent ward leader. She was legendary for getting it done for you. The 75/76 election was a gas as a former roommate ran as the Communist Party candidate. He did nothing for his campaign but still got about 4,600 votes. I was not really interested in getting involved in his campaign but when asked went to a meeting which consisted of sitting around, popping Irons and smoking weed and when anyone would ask the candidate about his 'communist' policies he would start giggling.

        By both being involved in DEM politics for the Oakland district and being an employee of the small law firm which was the DEM politico law firm for election issues, I know more dirt than I can possibly remember – like knowing who Tom Forester was sleeping with and why it killed his chance to become mayor.

        When I moved from Pittsburgh I had a party and one of the guests was Thomas Murphy who brought his guitar (I think it was him.). Lousy barely on beat versions of 'Leaving on a Jet Plane' which almost prompted me to introduce his posterior exhaust port to the guitar. That it was a classic, aged Martin was the only thing that saved him.

      2. James Michael Curley

        On second thought I did not stay in Pittsburgh much longer after her first election so I don’t have much of a view of her public persona as filtered through the press. Yet on the personal level it was like she was the somewhat hip, mysteriously well off aunt you didn’t have. Also Pete Flaherty and Richard Caliguiri were tough acts to follow. I just Wikipeed all these people and they are dead.

  16. Mittens Howell, III

    Wow, that GOP staffer really broke up with him, didn't she. I wonder what he could have done to disappoint her.

    1. bearperney

      Guess what, Akin is a point away from the lead as of this morning. Being a lifelong Missourian, this is no surprise to me.

  17. Mittens Howell, III

    "It's not me, it's you."

    Actually it WAS her. The whole time she was with cardboard Obama, she was two-timing him with faded, peeling, poster Obama.

  18. PinkoPopulist

    Silly womanz, they want a nice, caring guy who will take care of them, and when it finally comes time to put up (or out) they're all "oh this isn't working, it's definitely you not me." Fucking broads.

  19. MacRaith

    It might help the GOP if they let somebody who understands women write their ads directed at women. Like, maybe, a woman.

    Nah, they'd never do that. What was I thinking?

  20. Terry

    Most women in the Republican party must be dumber than a box of rocks if this is what the GOP thinks appeals to women.

    1. mrblifil

      Nuh-UH! Gyrls have all the powyr because they will simply fold up their napkins in a huff and go back to the apartment Daddy bought for them, while they are plying themselves in the science of trapping a man.

  21. Mittens Howell, III

    Paul Ryan: "I wrote that ad all by himself."

    Paul Ryan, next day: "I apologize, I seem to have misspoken. I walked past the writer's room , once. Probably while they were working on the ad."

    1. Toomush_Infer

      And Paul Ryan, next day: "Actually, I've never seen that ad"…
      And Paul Ryan, next day: "Obama wrote that ad, which I've never seen, and it's outrageous"…

  22. Chichikovovich

    Two tips for the Republicans:

    a) Just because the "Obama golfing" thing gets a laugh at the Petausky Chamber of Commerce meeting every time, doesn't mean that anyone outside the echo chamber is fooled. Same thing with "teleprompters!!!!" We were around for "watch this drive" and the interminable "brush clearing" retreats to the ranch in Texas. We *know* which Presidents take vacations sparingly and which ones are away 1/3 of the time. We have watched the presidential debates, and we know which candidates have performed well and which have disappointed. That is, we know who can speak well unprompted. And we know that Obama is an exceptional speaker. [And you will reinforce this as the presidential debates approach, as you start madly pre-spinning to adjust expectations lower for Romney. "Well, Obama is a great debater, but the American people don't care about smooth arguing, they care about blah, blah…"]

    So you can repeat "golfing!", "teleprompters!" etc. to yourself over and over, and fool yourselves. But outside your self-deceived circle, people recognize what you are doing, and they find it insulting.

    b) That is an attractive woman, no lie, but there is a reason why people choose professional actors/actresses for even small roles like this. She can't even make a simple line reading sound convincing. It makes you look like a bunch of amateurs, and after your catastrophe of a convention, that isn't an impression you want to reinforce.

    Just trying to help out here – no charge.

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Actually, I think the golfing thing is just to remind golfers that, Tiger aside (the freak!), blahs and jews should never be allowed on the course….

    2. StarsUponThars

      Republicans conveniently forget that while Hurricane Katrina was drowning a thousand people and devastating a major American shipping port, Dubja was eating birthday cake with John McCain. At a golf course.

    3. fuflans

      hey thanks man (for b)! i said the same thing somewhere on this thread (painful watching / listening to that).

      and as you say – disaster of a convention.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Glad you liked it. The ad reminded me of a conversation from some years back, when a friend of mine was nominated for a Genie (Canadian Oscar) for sound editing. We all went to see the movie, and he had a minuscule non-speaking bit appearance as a spectator in a silent movie theatre the main character walks into. But looking at him, you could tell he was giving it his all – he was slouching back, arm holding a cigarette draped over the back of the chair next to him, had a "spectator"-y look on his face, was letting a thin line of smoke slowly drift out of his lips….

        After the movie, I had to rib him: "Hey xx, your appearance made the movie for me. Like they say, no small parts, only small actors." He was very pleased, in spite of the semi-snark.

    4. Native_of_SL_UT

      According to Zeke Miller at Buzzfeed:
      But the woman in the video expressing frustration with the president is none other than RNC Director of Hispanic Outreach Bettina Inclan.
      So this women was never with Obama and therefore could never have broke up him.
      Now you'll have to excuse me, i need to go record my breakup video with Cameron Diaz.

  23. PinkoPopulist

    The next GOP ad will feature SJP comparing Obama to Steve Madden shoes and Romney to Manolo Blahniks or something.

  24. DahBoner

    Voting for Mitt is like having sex when you're on The Rag.

    It's a bloody mess afterwards and you can never really get the stains out…

  25. C_R_Eature

    "Victoria Jackson" wrote:


  26. mrblifil

    Still another treatment of the "belittle and upbraid passive imaginary Obama" concept. As Atrios says "conservatives is weird."

    One technical note… this was amazingly poorly shot and poorly lit, and nobody on the post-production side had any chops either. There are ways to parody the "romantic dinner" and this one misses on every count.

    IOW this ad was not conceived, produced, shot, acted, or edited/finished by a professional at any level. Yet supposedly Mitt Romney has a personal fortune of millions to "get his message out" or whatever the fuck. So who is the money going to, and for what? This is a very interesting question from where I sit. This ad has nothing to do with wanting to win the Presidency. It seems to have more to do with giving people along the patronage line something to do. I guess everybody needs a project in life.

    1. eggsacklywright

      Right. The only ones who benefit from all these ads are the networks and stations that rake in the cash for showing them.

      1. montreal_bruin

        Wait, that would mean it's in the networks' financial interest to keep this race competitive! I'm absolutely shocked.

    2. rickmaci

      These clowns have so much money they don't know how to spend it all, which is why you see this kind of amateurish garbage getting produced, lots of people with carte blanche to spend it any way they can. I bet if you had a group of Rethug guys who decided they wanted to sneak into the DNC headquarters late at night to bug the phones there, nobody at the RNC would say no to them and they would have the money in hand by the end of the day. It would be simply, "whatever" and "just use up the money."

    3. James Michael Curley

      With the money the Repubs are pumping into this election there are going to be a lot of jobs for things like this. Yet, I don't regret that I never agreed to do concept work and writing for Republicans.

    4. tessiee

      "So who is the money going to, and for what?"

      Diebold and that cross-eyed guy, for vote tampering and voter suppression.

  27. zumpie

    I don't undrstand , how is this woman a "wife, mother, grandmother, big sister, little sister or daughter"? Because Ann Romnette says that I "know it's true, don't I?" Or since this VERY unfortunate young woman associates with Dems, does she not get to be defined by her family relationships?

    1. zumpie

      Heh. Even Peggy, with all her simply dreadful ideas on Mad Men would've come up with something better than this shit.

      1. James Michael Curley

        How accurate is that show (my service doesn't have the channel)? It is from the TV advertising age of dancing cigarette packs.

        1. zumpie

          Truth be told, not especially—I do follow it because the occassional shock value is fun, it's soapy (you know us dum gurlz and our storees!) and visually stunning (though not copletely authentic even in that capacity).

        2. eggsacklywright

          Although it does sometimes deliver a memory-shock, like remembering there really was a soft drink called Patio. I think the show is wonderful. I associate the dancing cigs from the late '50's. Mad Men starts in '62, I believe.

          1. James Michael Curley

            Even though I have the Olz, I did not see much TV when a kid because the set seemed to always be on the blink so I don’t remember much about ads. I remember shows and it is a quatrannual debate between Ms Curley and I about whether the I Like Ike flashing sign was in 1952 or 1956, I guess I responded to commercials as I do now. They almost totally get filtered out even without remote clicking and channel surfing. There was a neighbor and a relative who worked on Madison Ave. The relative was the first female account executive in the business. Since she died in 1981 I have difficulty remembering exactly what her clients were but she did nave a couple major book publishers and once remarked that she had five of the top ten NYTimes best sellers.

  28. jodyleek

    Here is my answer to the Gee Oh Pee in terms I hope THEY can understand:


  29. OneYieldRegular

    Petulant, petty, insipid, expressionless, and barely able to get out a comprehensible sentence. No wonder she spends her evenings alone performing fake romantic dramas in front of a cardboard cutout.

  30. elviouslyqueer

    Wow. This ad is so lame (HOW LAME WAS IT?) that if it were a horse, it would've been taken out to pasture and put out of its misery. Yesterday.


    1. MadBrahms

      Since Rafalca is "Ann's thing", Mittens has been forced all these years to hide his deep investment in glue factories. This ad belongs in one of them.

    2. eggsacklywright

      Ha! My ex-wife used to refer to our part-time relationship as a "dead horse that still enjoys the occasional beating."

  31. C_R_Eature

    CSPAN's rerunning Biden's speech now. He's telling Romney and Ryan to Go Fuck Themselves eloquently and without having to cower in an Undisclosed Location like the previous Vice President.

    Seriously. All these speeches hold up well the next day.

    1. TribecaMike

      I stayed up til 3 watching most of the speeches again on c-span. Just as good the second time around.

    2. tessiee

      "Biden's speech now. He's telling Romney and Ryan to Go Fuck Themselves eloquently"

      So, Clint Eastwood was also talking to invizibibble Biden?

  32. Chichikovovich

    It's not me, it's you

    OK, I thought this ad was terrible, but I've changed my mind a bit. It really does capture the Republican party of today. Not just the incompetent production, and the empty reliance on echo-chamber inside false references ("golfing!!!!!") but really it goes to the heart of the matter.

    Because the reason "It's not you, it's me" has become a cliché is that it is a common attempt to soften the blow. Of course, nobody really believes it, but when you are breaking up with someone, it is only decent to at least try to spare their feelings as much as you can. You're already delivering a harsh message, there is no need to be gratuitously cruel on top of it. And even if both sides realize that "It's not you, it's me" is empty, at least by making the effort to be as gentle as the message allows, you show that you acknowledge the hurt you are causing the other person, that you regret hurting them in this way, and you genuinely hope they go on to recover quickly and flourish.

    The Republicans, on the other hand, believe you should twist the knife a few extra times for fun. This is the party of "I like to fire people".

    1. C_R_Eature

      The downside is that the Republicans have really turned into the Party of Sociopaths. The upside is that it may well turn out to be advantageous to have all the country's Sociopaths gathered in the same place.

  33. LibertyLover

    The thing about Republicans is that they tend to see women as a series of body parts ( long hair, pretty face, boobs, vaginas, legs) instead of a fully formed human being with the ability to think for themselves.

  34. Self-Uploader

    Empty chairs. Cardboard cut-outs? These people are delusional.
    Then again when you spend so much money paying to construct an alternative reality, it's probably easy to get caught up in it.

  35. Tundra Grifter

    I thought when a woman touched her hair like that it was a tell that she really likes you.

    Don't fight it, Honey! It's bigger than both of you!

    1. James Michael Curley

      Kerry Washington did that several times while she was looking straight at me (through the LED screen).

  36. mrblifil

    It should be pointed out that the heroine of the ad had been shown to be a low level Romney staffer, tasked with education outreach in the Latino community or some such shit ("Here, Manuel, allow me to demonstrate the best techniques for picking a grape…"). I doubt it would be too difficult for an enterprising individual to find out what the audition process was like and exactly which skills she demonstrated to put her over the top.

  37. randcoolcatdaddy

    They're only using the cardboard cutout since Republicans think average voters can't afford an Obama dildo.

  38. zumpie

    Hee! Just posted my "break up" comment in which I said I was still totes in love with Barry, would never date a clueless misogynist like Mittens and ads like this showed exactly why ladies just aren't that into them.

    Maybe I shouldn't have given away the "secret". But given how fucking stupid they are, they'll probably count this as my still promising to vote for Mittens, you know, cause…

  39. tessiee

    More projection from the dumbasses: America does have an abusive boyfriend, but it's the Republican Party.

  40. unclejeems

    Do these guys actually PREFER talking to empty chairs and cardboard cut-outs? Or is there some hidden significance there that I just don't see?

  41. TribecaMike

    OT, but some right wing group calling itself Vision America is trumpeting a series of conference calls with Rick Perry, Michelle Bachman and Rick Santorum to promote something they call "40 Days to Save America."

    Because nothing excites American voters more than conference calls.

  42. angelfoot

    I left the following break-up message:

    "I found out the "sweet nothings" he was romancing me with were being fed to him through a teleprompter. By Bill Ayers! Also, he never remembers to put the toilet seat down. "

    This is fun!

  43. ttommyunger

    I know what you're thinking: is that the real President or a cardboard cut-out? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I kind of lost count myself, so I guess the question is: do you feel motivated to vote for Mittens? Well, do you, punk? (sound of one hand fapping)

  44. IndianaKevin

    I snuck into the site all undercover-reporter-like and found it's real popular. Numbers posted there as of about 9 a.m. Sept. 8 included:

    29,133 subscribers
    619 likes, 1,144 dislikes
    344 people shared it on Facebook
    58 people tweeted it
    6 people g +1'd it, whatever that means
    5 people e-mailed it

    The numbers seem little to me.

Comments are closed.