Whoops, we have broken Wonket! We said some stuff already, it is gone now. Fucking INTERNET! But the gist was, no, we were not yet pregnant, unless we got knocked up by Michelle’s foxy-bitch face. (WE DID.) Sorry everybody, that you can no longer read the most amazing live-bloog in the history of bloogs. Sucks to be you! Fuck this bullshit broken liveblog bullshit. New emergency backup nuclear livebloog here.
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 238 comments }
Lizzie, grab a fresh pair of knickers and join us.
Lucky. All mine are missing…
Mine are in the laundry as we speak.
I'll return them when I am damn good and ready.
Whaaa??? Commenting disabled? And yet we can reply…
Thank Dog, the pager was acting funny and I thought that O'Kweef had penetrated your defenses.
New thread voted for and approved! Democracy in action!
Thank you!!!
Becca FTW.
It'd have been a shame to break These Wonkettes, again, 'cause this upcoming speech is the biggest of BFDs.
Yaaaaayyyyy!
I'm streaming Dick Durbin's dumb face through the internet, over my Xbox. I love our stupid 21st century.
It's fun living in the future.
Woohoo! New thread. Time to test out my Malkin ping pong algorithm hypothesis.
I saw that in a bar in Saigon.
Sweet. I can tell my kids I was part of history, now!
The day that Wonkette had to split a Live-Blog is a day that will go down in infamy.
POODLE MOTH is happy about the new thread.
Yay! Poodle Moth. An Internet meme I really just want to reach out and touch.
Sometimes the sight and sound of certain words together really gets to me. In addition to all the cryptozoological weirdness of the Venezuelan Poodle Moth, there's, well, the words POODLE MOTH.
Win-Win
Have you seen the larval forms of the poodle moth?
Peeps, I beg you DO NOT LOOK!
Oooooooh new screen background for work!
Thanks
Looking at them JUST as he said "dogged". Weird, man.
OMG it's the narrator from the Mueslix commercials with the creaky voice? How'd they score him?
WHOOOO! LET'S DO THIS!
Bill, Joe, Michelle…the greatest hits.
plus! clooney!!
Is this video being narrated by Clooney? Sounds like Clooney.
That's totally Clooney. Call it a cliche, but I'm only human and I love me some Clooney.
I'm tossing my big old granny drawers at the screen
More nerdish but commanding quote: “The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail. But hope remains, if friends stay true.”
Clooney??
Nipples on the bat suit.
Have I ever mentioned that, no matter how disappointed I may be with the Democrats at times, I will never pull the lever for those other people?
Yes, he's pissed me off royally at least once a month, but still far, far better than the alternative.
CLOONEY VOICE-OVER
Mitt Romney just shut the pizza box and sent the grand-kiddies to bed.
I was told there would be celebrities.
When we all have Obama babies this really is going to turn into a mommy blog.
Mine is going to be quite unusual, I need to warn you.
Wait until all those Cephalobamapods hatch out.
It will still be a WAR BLOG
Bring on the TeaTards and PaulTards, says I.
Lovin' me some Clooney!!
This is a great convention. Heck, it's a frickin tent revival with facts
Yes! This is exactly what this is. Good observation.
Hate to wear it out, but Bruce's Tampa show was pretty much the same way.
Are we allowed to break this thread?
Hit it with your best shot!
I wish I could crawl inside this thing with all y'all.
The Orioles/Yankees game ain't bad, either.
I was going to check it out, but Roger Federer being knocked out of the US put me off sports today. Go Red Sox!
Are the Orioles actually winning for once? Because that would be awesome.
I'll bet Bamz would know what a scanner in a grocery store was.
and wouldn't spill the applesauce either.
Yeah, but some of Romneys friends own grocery store scanner factories.
I bet Bamz could take it apart and make it work better while shooting lasers at al Qaeda.
Fucker backed out of the Public Option.
But I forgive him.
We will make him do it in his second term. God, I hope so. We need the Congress, and we're not going to hedge this, again.
If Smilin' Joe wants 2016 bad enough they better!
Let's hope so. Get the difficult thing done first (exchanges), then just glue it on top.
Dems for House and Senate control plz plz plz
We're going to keep the Senate, for sure, but the chance of taking back the House are still iffy.
Unfortunately, I can't see/hear Barry White without thinking of Snake Whacking Day.
Now imagine Barry O saying: "Don't kill the snakes. Leave aaaaaalllll the snakes alone."
Nice. I'm watching the video with You Sexy Thing in another tab. It's just so right.
Big Dog doubling down on the endorsement
Barry White + Barack Obama + Clooney VO = Spontaneous Sexual Combustion. Baby Boom Part 2 (which long term might help shore up Social Security and Medicare).
I have a tie from Dillard's that looks exactly like the expensive tie Clinton's wearing in this video.
This feels a bit more like an open thread than a live blog. Somebody tell Editrix to put fingers to keys.
Editrix is tired. Let's send her a big Ommmmmmmm.
I think the keys may be looking like snakes, which makes it hard to type.
I think our dear leader is snoozing out in a post-tripping fatigue jag.
She's had a rough week.
Don't take the brown acid!
Wonkette, proof that booze makes you blog better, stronger, faster.
Well said.
When the going gets weird, the weird go pro.
I think Joe just said Barack has a blackbone that can ramrod you to death.
And I believe him.
Ask Bin Laden
Troops coming home – LOVE IT!
needs moar arithmetic
George Clooney 2016!
I thought Dick Cheney personally shot Osama in the face. Is there a link to this other version?
And then Osama apologized to him.
dude can be one intense mother fucker can't he?
can't wait for the mittens match up.
purple! significant!
Mr President!
John Sununu is costing out that dress right now.
But you guys….Romney's got KIDS!
Man children, forsooth.
Now, there's a First Lady!
Any lipreaders in the house? I'd love to know what Michelle said there.
"Sing for me baby."
"All this for a damn flag?"
Do this! Nookie-Nookie.
hey, check yo' inbox mi amigo
You left the toilet seat up again.
"My Hovercraft is full of Eels."
Oh Dog! That is just what I was thinking!!!!!111!
KILL WHITEY! Look for the Breitbart Ghost exclusive tomorrow
Who's gettin' some love? Barry's gettin' some love.
Oh look — someone doesn't have to pretend he's walking down the aisle at a State of the Union address — because he's done that already.
Four times.
Barry had all he could do to keep from grabbing Michelle's ass.
No terrorist fist bump? Welcome to the stage, Mr. President.
His flag pin is smaller than Romney's. Traitor.
Still got bin Laden with the fishes.
Proves he is history's greatest monster.
I can't believe they even still wear those things.
They're getting bigger.
Barry gonna kill it – you can see it in his face
Made it home just in time to miss almost everything. At least I got a head start on drinking while I was at work. BARRY TIME!
Hi, Barry!
*entire crowd grows turgid in their naughty bits*
Joe and Jill B's daughter is a foxy little thing.
Yes. Yes, she is.
I'm not even Catholic and I'd hit it.
But it's ALWAYS open season on Catholic girls.
Just kidding, but yes she is an attractive young female of the human persuasion.
Come out, Virginia, don't let me wait; you Catholic girls start much too late…
Focus dammit.
Clooney and joe and Barry. My 84 year mum will be plotzing.
The One!
I think the love radiated from that embrace just melted the icecaps.
Four more years!
Is that Coldplay? Gaaaaaaaay.
There's already so much more energy here than there was when Mitt took the stage in Tampa. What the hell did Mitt say, anyway? I don't remember a word of it.
No one remembers. He was eclipsed by Eastwood and the chair.
"The Old Man and the Seat" (One of Jon Stewart's writers got a bonus for that.)
My god! The girls have really grown up.
Seriously. They're friggin' tall now.
They sure are more appealing than the Bush twins.
Barbara the Second libel!
Barbara looks nice – and as an activist for gay marriage appears to not be following her father politically – but Jenna? No; she looks like W with long hair and breasts. And seems to have his brains.
I know! It seems like just yesterday little sasha was saying "HELOOOO Girardoooos!"
Orgasms all around. On the house.
Yes, Barry, you ARE a lucky man.
oh damn that smile.
This had better not go to his head.
Michelle just said to him, "Comrade, our plan to destroy the capitalist pig dogs continues! Now bring it home for the Motherland!"
"Hi kids — go to bed. Daddy's working."
"I accept your nomination for president of the United States."
Phew. I was worried he'd say Kenya.
Awwww his kids are so friggin cute. He should win on them alone.
I predict multiple hopegasms are eminent.
Bamz/Biden = Bromance!
The camera person on CSPAN is rubbing one off. It's a little distracting, but understandable.
I wish bras could be thrown through the TV.
Give it a shot. I''m game.
I second this wish.
It's a little known fact that they can be thrown through the internet.
sasha may be getting some big sister smack down.
Gutsy move — he's gonna stick with "HOPE".
If he doesn't beat them with it, they will beat him with it.
Oh, that was a superb line.
If you're sick of hearing me approve this message, so am I.
Nice.
Audience, quit yelling shit out.
Especially that NJ delegate who keeps shouting "Bruce!"
Since I live in Bammer, we do not get any messages PresO approves of. Go ahead. Approve of something. I like it.
We don't in WA either. We are such a given they don't bother.
Hey, I'm here in Ohio and I'd gladly donate 90% of our political advertising to you guys…
In Cali we wouldn't know there was an election if not for the interwebs.
Why do we keep hearing about this Warren Peace guy? Leave Warren Peace alone!
Tolstoy libel!
Provably the hardest job in the world. Just look at the age on him.
The hardest job is being married to Rush Limbaugh.
Probably pays better though.
the choice couldn't be more black and white
^^Win.
How much for the little girls?
"The values my grandfather fought as a soldier in Patton's army"
Take that, birther assholes…
The judge must have given him "the choice".
They'll still try to muddy the water with his mis-statement that his father fought in WWII.
Hey, this nation may not triumphed over fascism yet….
Mr. IonaTrailer grew up in that neighborhood where Bamz did his community organizing.
So he is a communist?
Oh, Willard, you are so, so, so so screwed.
123 comments already? Man it's gonna take a while to catch up.
*Plink!* The sound of 1000 monocles falling into brandy glasses
"But they didn't have much to say about how they'd make it right. They want your vote, but they don't want you to know their plan."
Well stated, Mr President…
Barry nails a joke!
Come on B arry, we know this speech. We're with ya there. Meat. Give us the MEAT. LOL TAX CUT BS SLAP DOWN GO!
Woo, here is the Editrix. I was afraid she was under the couch having an acid flashback.
"Same solutions they offerred for the past 30 years" (or something like that) – awesome.
Ha! Good one Mr. Pres!
"take two tax cuts, roll back some regulations and call us in the morning." Now it's picking up.
That's right. Punish the Achievers!!1!
He's just warming up, comrades!
Feel a cold coming on? Take a tax cut, roll back some regulations, and call me in the morning.
Bravo, Barry
more like "got a cold? here's your voucher & get fucked."
…or be sure you don't get sick and if you do, die quickly.
I live in Arizona, so I've already been pregnant for the last two weeks. Sorry Barry.
Show me the papers!
Oh snap.
Oh yes — the much-derided Forward meme isn't bullshit — it's the opposite of what the Republicans want.
We have Been There and it Sucks. Fuck if we're going back.
Whoo hoo. You elected me to tell you the truth!
"You elected me to tell you the truth"
So suck it, Paul Ryan…
I will strangle the next idiot who breaks his pacing by yelling out "WE LOVE YOU MR. PRESIDENT." And by 'strangle' I mean, of course, with votes.
Tweet from Malkin: "Obama's daughters are beautiful." She'll hear about that from her army of shithead followers.
Can barely stand to imagine what will come out of Mann Coulter's Twitts.
He should have added, "but you can't handle the truth."
"Truth." Yep. You're halfway there. Now as soon as you reach the point you can open-voice say "Lying, Lying Liars" you've won.
Shoutout to FDR rather than Reagan – about time!
"The path we choose may be harder, but it leads us to a better place"
Stunning. Brave, true, and a call to action for the greater good of all Americans.
I like the way he calls us "America" I tell you this, America…
Feel a cold coming on…
Damn guys, how did we take over the teleprompter?
I knew splitting this blog would cause trouble.
Oh god, I am so glad he's talking about bringing manufacturing back to America. This is what I was hoping for…
FOX NEWS is doing live fact checking.
This just in , all lies
I think my vasectomy just got cracked, might need to pee on a stick after this.
Hahahaah!!!!
When I get into this middle class will I have to act all bourgeoisie? Ya can't teach an old dog new tricks.
LOVE the President's call out to the companies that are bringing jobs *back* to America. We sure as hell didn't hear anything about that *last* week…
Weapons aren't really my idea of the ideal export.
I bought my little Chevy in 2009. I claim part of the credit for GM's recovery.
Don't say this about too many dudes these days, but this dude is cool.
Shouting USA!? We can't do that. Only republicans can do that!
I think they were shouting Boo-S-A.
I was thinking the President had a tough bunch of acts to follow–then he lit up that 100 megawatt smile…
Four More Years!
Tax cuts for those who move jobs overseas…or for those who create them in the US. I know which choice I'm making.
OBAMA 2012!
Can anyone remember when the Demoncraps sounded so patriotic?
He mentioned Climate Change! The Elephant crushing the World! Finally!
Too late, but nice effort, though.
Uh-oh, IntenseDatabase is breaking, again. I can't make replies to anyones' comments.
EDIT: Now it's back.
I think it's back.
That's all I can do.
Damn, he sounds like a progressive.
Pull up your BOOT straps!
I was there, as well. Snark on temporary hold is snark denied.
Floods and fires are from Jeebus and only endanger gay children so it's all good.
Ooooohhhh….climate change!
USA USA USA. Or as they say in Kenya, USA USA USA.
Wish someone would factcheck "
clean coal"
"Climate change is not a hoax…and in this election, you can do something about it."
Noted and done…
Yay! We're back.
Seriously, that freaked me out. I was like a little kid lost at the mall MOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
YEAH BUT LET'S SEE HIM DO THIS WITHOUT HIS TELEPROMPTER.
Meh.
The dichotomy between the positive message and open, sunny rhetoric of Obama and the negative message and cramped,shadowy rhetoric of Romney couldn't be greater.
Even if I didn't know who to vote for I'd know immediately who to vote for.
Yeah! No children left behind!
No, wait …
I am not watching, but I am loving watching this fire reflected in the faces of all you people I love.
Sure, Democrats can copy the Republican "USA USA" chant, but they'll never master the twelve finger clap.
Please keep mentioning alternative energies. We're 40 years late on this. Climate change mention…bravo
"And students — you gotta do the work."
PBS panned to Michelle giving a sidelong glance to her daughters.
Right now, Dinesh D'Souza is editing a documentary exposing the nefarious influence of Jomo Kenyatta on Obama's tie.
I love how he just slips in references like a dream deferred like it's just everyday conversation.
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