LET'S ALL HAVE TINY BARACK BABIES!  6:20 pm September 6, 2012

Live-Blogging Barack Obama Getting You Pregnant Right Through The Television

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

The darnedest Siamese Twin act you ever did seeEverybody get your fine illegal Communist rum and your fine illegal Windowpane, and meet us back here just in time for the tribute to Old Handsome Joe Biden, and then Barry making love to you again like it is the first time. So like just before nine, like that! You don’t need a blow-by-blow of every note out of Mary J. Blige’s mouth. Just come back, whatever, we’ll see you then unless we see you first!

7:16 PM — OK guess we are starting early since Joe is straight up blubbering like a a drunken Irish John Boehner. God bless that sentimental son of a bitch.

We are not at the convention because live blooging is impossible when you can’t pause or rewind, and also we are not at the convention because we are never leaving the house again, because OLD AND TIRED. So old. So tired. But at least our eyeballs have stopped crackling, so that is a plus!

7:40 PM — Hot chick Naomi Bulochnikov from Current TV tweets this picture of Gabby Giffords getting ready for the Pledge. Everybody cry now, so you won’t have to later!

7:44 PM — OK, we will say it: the (male) talent at this convention has been piss-poor. We might have made out with the dude we did the acid with last night if he didn’t have a giant herpe on his mouth, but that would have purely been desperation. But the women? MY GOD THE WOMEN. All the women here look like Kerry Washington, swear to fucking God.

7:53 PM — Well, Scarlett Johansson is no Kerry Washington, is she? Bless her dumb lil bunny heart.

7:54 PM — The old gays gave the old folks of color a run for their money in the Dance to Earth Wind and Fire Contest. In fact — we think they MIGHT HAVE WON!

7:58 PM — Hey cryers. How’s your crying? Doing some crying, with your eyeballs and such, of tears? How about now? Liar.

8:01 PM — Whew, thank God they have brought Caroline Kennedy out to dry everyone’s eyes with just her personality. (BECAUSE SHE IS BORING.)

8:12 PM — Here you go, BigSkullFuckingDog, here is the Gabby video you missed while you were getting your hair did. (Definitely don’t watch Caroline Kennedy, yargh.)

5:17 PM — This is fun, this yelly thing Jennifer Granholm is doing like she is a cattle auctioneer. SAY MORE NUMBERS!

HAHA, who will be the first wingnut blog to compare her to Hitler’s impassioned speechifying style? Our money is on Daily Caller.

8:25 PM — SI SE PUEDE! Eva Longoria, when did you stop being an asshole who clocks valets and shit and start being so frigging menschy?

8:36 PM — Right, sorry, wasn’t paying attention for a sec. Apparently our gay husband Charlie Crist is on the teevee, making eyes at us. AND HOLY S TO YOU TOO!

8:50 PM — John Kerry is calling Mitt Romney out for being for it before he was against it. Now we just need ladies with Purple Heart Band-Aids please!

And now Commie Mom will be dusting off the Tiger Beat poster of John Kerry she liked to kiss before going to sleep. John Kerry is going AFTER every Republican, like Barney Frank calling that lady a table. Just slaughtering. And not explaining even one of his jokes!

Here is your blast from the past. Get ANGRY, Wonkers! ANGRY LIKE JOHN KERRY, AND HIS FLAMING SWORD OF JUSTICE!

9:10 PM — Ok, can someone please clip the old black dude on Cspan getting all funky with the U!S!A! and trying out a little something new with it?

9:14 PM — Pfft, oh, Jill Biden’s a “teacher.” What has a teacher ever done for anyone, really? Maybe she should try being something honorable, like “mom.”

9:16 PM — Well, the war in Iraq is sort of over, if you don’t count the rest of the war in Iraq. But let us not be picky. Let us sing John & Yoko songs!

9:19 PM — STOP CRYING PUSSIES.

9:20 PM — Scranton, chug a Mickey’s Big Mouth.

9:22 PM — This commercial is too commercialy. Cranky Face!

9:30 PM — Real question, for the Olds, who have seen stuff. Has any veep ever been beloved like our Old Handsome Joe Biden?

No one can pledge public love like a fuckin’ Scrantoner, apparently. “Jilly, you’re the love of my life and the life of my love.” WE ARE SORRY, but Barack is a little too Vulcany to eyefuck his wife in public like that, and you know Michelle is a little pissed about it.

9:44 PM — FOUL! FOUL! NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT DEAD DADS, EVEN WHEN THEY ARE YOUR OWN. Sorry, dude, #RomneyRulez!

9:46 PM — And Joe with the velvet shiv for a man who doesn’t understand how to be an American. But you know, not mean! Joe loves Mitt Romney, thinks he’s a great guy! Except for how he is a Kenyan Marxist Socialist Anti-Colonialist Who Hates Cars And America. Just except for that!

9:53 PM — This is fine and all, but we don’t love Joey scripted like we love Joey just shooting off his Purty Mouth of Kindness. Remember the NAACP speech, when they booed him for saying he was gonna wrap up soon? Like that! (SORRY, DON’T HIT US.)

10:01 PM — OK, we take it back, and for the first time tonight are REALLY regretting the tab of acid we took last night that made us decide to stay home all day and forever and not be in the hall, we suck forever, teh end.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 1556 comments }

bumfug September 6, 2012 at 6:22 pm

"Rum and windowpane, mud in your eye. Baby do I feel high, oh me, oh my.."

An_Outhouse September 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

long lost last Jerry tune?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

If you want to touch the sky…

nounverb911 September 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I look forward to seeing lots of new baby democrats next summer.

hominidx September 6, 2012 at 6:53 pm

"If I had a son, it'd look a lot like…the one you just had."

DustBowlBlues September 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Do you not realize you're talking about Democratic women? You know all we do is have sex then get abortions.

AnAmericanInTO September 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Shut your mouth! Thank Jebus for my birth control pills, while they're still legal.

RRoccoco September 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Rebecca live-blogging Papa Joe Biden–sounds dirty. Hope so. Will check back after many beers.

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 8:36 am

And by the way, "God bless that sentimental son of a bitch."

….and, "straight up blubbering like a a drunken Irish John Boehner".

What the hell?

Beccs should quit with the acid and leave Joey alone. I love Joey…. but not in the biblical sense of course, since I'm hetero through and through. And if I grow old and look as handsome as he does I'll be a happy puppy…. hell, I might, scrub that, would fuck his wife with a little more than my eyes, if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge.

What were we talking about again?

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Farrelly Brothers Libel!

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm

(takes swig of diet tonic water, hits F5… waits)

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Has fewer calories than regular tonic water?

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

No sugar. For the diabeetus.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

You'd be amazed how much sugar is in American "tonic".

Arborista September 7, 2012 at 3:03 am

I didn't know that tonic water had sugar. I thought it had quinine?

punkneverdies September 7, 2012 at 3:12 am

That too, also this is something I just learned. It's florescent.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Driving down the road, refreshing my phone, mainlining Wonkette while I steer with my knees.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Hey! We need your vote! Don't go dyin' on us now!

YouBetcha September 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Mr. YouBetcha doesn't love Barry the way I do, but he knows he'll get some later.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 6:27 pm

As long as no one sweats in my earholes, I'm ok with that.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 6:27 pm

If Barry O sings, I'll cream in my jeans

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

That's why you should only read Wonkette with no pants on.

LesBontemps September 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Wait, you mean there are people reading teh Wokette with their pants on?

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I'm waiting for his Barry White impression.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

But it's Romney that's trying to convey that "I'll Do For You Anything You Want Me To". On the other hand, Barack clearly is "Qualified to Satisfy You"

Isyaignert September 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Remember this little ditty by Rmoney? http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=mitt+romney+s

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Yes, despite my best efforts.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Oh hell no–not going there. Still feeling the trauma from hearing that the first time around…

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

He's going to bring out Sandra Fluke, sit her down in a chair, and sing "If I Was Your Girlfriend."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpPnv9eybQY

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I'm going to wear my aviator shades while watching the Joe Biden tribute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YW-n3lBAks

Biff September 6, 2012 at 6:45 pm
James Michael Curley September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Randolph USA or nutin.

ElPinche September 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Biden speech: "Hi assholes! I mean Americans…same shit!! Just kidding! As for Romney, he can fuck himself with Lindsey Grahams's dildo. No. I kid. God Bless. Good night!"

DemmeFatale September 6, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Ha, ha, ha!
I heart you, Pinche!
(But you'll always be Trejo to me.)

ElPinche September 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

I''ll reboot my Trejo avatar after Machete II .

I_P September 6, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Try the veal, it's a big fucking deal!

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Still more likely to win my vote than Ryan's liefest.

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Epic, Pinchy. I so needed that hearty laugh.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

COTD!

ElPinche September 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Thx!!

WordSaladNation September 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I hope that, at the end of Bamz's speech, they bring out Mary J. Blige, Toni Braxton, New Edition, Karyn White, Babyface, Guy, Al B. Sure!, Bell Biv DeVoe, Johnny Gill, Tony! Toni! Toné!, and Pebbles and everyone joins in a rousing rendition of "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd. That would be SO FUCKING AWESOME.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Your odds are much better with this week's convention…

WordSaladNation September 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

The best the Republicans could have hoped for was Chuck Norris and Victoria Jackson duetting on "You Light Up My Life."

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Drudge Sirens! "Ribfest Explodes At Democrat Gang Summit"

SnarkOff September 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Ghost Whitney Houston can come, too, with Invisible Obama.

Estproph September 6, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Thanks, but I don't want to get pregnant.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

See, I'm ahead of the game. I had a vasectomy twenty years ago, so I'm safe from Bamz.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Mm, I don't think you understand his potency. All his staffers wear triple layers of latex gloves just in case he fist-bumps them.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I took 4 birth control pills this morning in anticipation. I'm ready!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Slut! And now we have to video our lovemaking and send it to Rush.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

What does Geddy Lee have to do with any of this?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I purposefully left off the last name to open up this reference, and can't believe it took this long for someone to make it.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Plus, you could always just head down to the abortionplex if things go wrong.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Slut!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Because of you my premiums increased 6x, and I don't even have health insurance.

iburl September 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

We'll see if you do or do not. Your lady parts will shut that whole thing down if you really don't want to be pregnant, legitimately.

Estproph September 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

My ladyparts are kept in a different body…

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Jesus doesn't care what you want.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Man, ain't that the truth?

Estproph September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Jesus's followers don't seem to either.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Yo! Chet Kincaid! Mary J Blige, blow by blow, buddy you GOTTA be here with me even if we have to do that part without Ms Becca…

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I'm here for ya, Ms. Effie May South!

prommie September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

A-fucking-hem. Excuse me, just needed to clear my throat.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Well I'll be damned.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm

What's up? Was off enjoying the Biden and Obama speeches with my lovely wife. Did you guys keep the party goin' without me?

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Proms didn't watch, but he did come to play, so you are excused for your serious contemplation of them talking thangs (they were great!) with your bride. Godspeed! And Goodnight!

WordSaladNation September 6, 2012 at 6:32 pm

OH, SHIT! I forgot Keith! I was trying to remember who was on the New Jack mix I play incessantly in the car. SORRY, KEITH!

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Hey don't forget Queen Latifah – one of the best songs on the soundtrack, IMO.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

That lineup would give Andy Partridge permanent stagefright, I'll give you that!

WordSaladNation September 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Thank you for noticing. As for Andy, it would not surprise me if he was as much of a DIRTY LIBERAL as we are.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Obama wants farmboys to be able to feed love on their wages again!!

savethispatient September 6, 2012 at 6:33 pm

"Do Obama speeches cure your Editor's hangover? Tune in at 9"

bumfug September 6, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Lookin' forward to watching big Joe B. at 6:30 PDT – I worked on his first ever campaign for Senate in Del.as a student at U of D when he was 29 (turned the legal 30 after election, before swearing-in). Nobody gave him a chance then and they continue to underestimate him now. Fuck them.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I want to hug you by one degree of Biden. I love that man, thanks for helping him get his start.

bumfug September 6, 2012 at 6:45 pm

It was a bittersweet time – he was sworn in in his sons' hospital room where they were recovering from the terrible car wreck that killed Joe's wife and daughter.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Wow. That's really sad.

DustBowlBlues September 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Then he had a brain tumor.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Oh yeah, that was sad as shit. Two important things to remember about Joe is that he had the lowest net worth of the Senate, with just his salary instead of a fortune in stocks or inherited wealth like most of the rest have, and he was a single father for a long time. He gets the struggles of normal people more than most of our politicians do.

Isyaignert September 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Thank you for that! Joe is the real deal. I remember when he and Obama were running in 2008 and he'd taken a load of stuff to the dump in his white pickup. A reporter asked him how it went and no lie, Joe said, "It was a good dump."

Pragmatist2 September 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I c an attest to being one of thousands of people who screwed up by underestimating Joe Biden.

HELisforHEL September 6, 2012 at 9:41 pm

My mom worked on that campaign, too (and she worked at UD as a bookkeeper, coincidence? Haha). He was kind, funny, genuine. And nice to a stupid little kid (me) who tagged along at meetings. We love him, he's 'crazy uncle joe' and I mean that in the best way. GO Joe!

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I am tripping balls with you in spirit.

Dr_Zoidberg September 6, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Oh my god, I'm pregnant just from looking at that picture!

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I heard your comment in Dr. Zoidberg's voice, and I believed it.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

And unlike last week's convention I can watch this without the aid of alcohol; awesome.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 6:53 pm

But….<sniffs>……why?

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I had to detox after the Gopper fest. Long beyond the grape and grain, I had to substitute pills for booze. Every time I heard "We built it" another Xanax. Each time I heard "failed policies," another Paxil. It took four days of the shakes and two days of joy to set me up for the Bammer.

DustBowlBlues September 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Sounds a little like the regimen I was following when I passed out on the kitchen floor, in a puddle of very warm milk where I lay for a few minutes. When I came to, I was in a puddle of sticky, cold milk and had a big bump on the back of my head from where I fell on the tile floor.

BTW, Kids, Ancien R. and I are sharing the above (sadly, with no exaggeration in my story) stories because we want you to understand this: STAY IN SCHOOL AND DON'T USE DRUGS.

BTW–Remember Tom Joad.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Although, just because you can doesn't mean you should. Just alter the type (maybe) and quantity (probably) to enhance the enjoyment, instead of diminish the suffering.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

My liver also sends a thank you note to the DNC.

kittensdontlie September 6, 2012 at 10:54 pm

The poor R-Livers will be the ones feeling the pain tonight, and how my crocodile tears will flow for them.

Nesnora September 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm

"Have you ever seen a [DNC] on weeeeeed?"

Not_So_Much September 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Do we all meet at the drive-through AbortionPlex next week?

iburl September 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

slut.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

sho videoz.

Not_So_Much September 6, 2012 at 7:39 pm

The gubbmint wouldn't pay for my Whore Pillz.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

I for one am planning to get pregnant as soon as possible (instantly, if possible) after my next abortion.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

For Amercia.

docterry6973 September 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm

I can't wait to see if Barry can out-speechify the missus and the Big Dog.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Wait, wut? Oooooh, you mean another big dog. Nevermind.

Isyaignert September 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

But, honey, you are the BigSkullF*ckingDog and there's no one else like you. Anywhere.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Mom?

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm

"I'm from Milwaukee, and I oughta know…"
If you remember that you stay old already.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm

"Blatz is* Milwaukee's fiiinest beer".

* was never**

** did have my favorite beer name, though

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

My favorite comes from Shotz Brewery.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Fuck. Thanks for that ear worm.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

It's draft brewed Blatz beer,
Wherever you go.

MilwaukeeKent September 7, 2012 at 12:16 am

Hey!

Biff September 6, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Again, blessed are the cheesemakers!

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Hopefully that includes any manufacturers of dairy products.

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I remember them from whey back.

Spurning Beer September 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

What Jesus fails to realize is that it's the meek that are the problem.

MilwaukeeKent September 7, 2012 at 12:17 am

Damn poors have all the money…

Chet Kincaid_ September 7, 2012 at 1:02 am

I can see Jesus trying to deliver His word on O'Reilly's show and repeatedly being cut off with "Hold it right there, Christ…"

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 6:46 pm

So this is where the sweat love comes in?

EatsBabyDingos September 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Bamz makes me think of sultry songs while Joe makes me sing "Happy Happy Joy Joy."

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Romney, on the other hand, makes me think of the Log theme. "It's big, it's heavy, it's wood!"

Dr. Nick Riviera September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

But he's not better than bad!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Geez, Romney VETOED pre-school in Mass. What a dick.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm

And would pay for his tax cuts for billionaires by drowning Big Bird in Grover Norquist's bathtub.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

All Hail the American Night!

Let it roll, baby, roll.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Now, that's soundtrack music.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Yeah, I think so too.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Windowpane: Harshest. Acid. Ever.

Still, when it's the only acid you've got handy …

FraAnima September 6, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Well, purple microdot wasn't that great either…

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I will see you there, or I'll see you on another time.

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm

That is the sweetest pic of a lovely and handsome couple. Was this taken before or after the nuptials?

iburl September 6, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Mitt Romney, look upon your vanquishers and weep.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

What it's like with two lesbian moms? A lot of flannel and chainsaws?

Barrelhse September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

And field-hockey.

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Zach Wahls has some serious BRASS!

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Two-Momgasm!

Biff September 6, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Zach Wahl has a thing or two to say to R&R, it sounds like.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 6:54 pm

"Where did it go, Spider" — I haven't heard that in forever! Love that lady.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm
weejee September 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm
IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I wonder is Edith Childs would adopt me…..?
She fires me up!

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

She's pretty damned cool!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

No Pregnancy for me. I can haz Parthenogenesis?

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

It's going to be disturbing if a rash of full-body meiosis breaks out tonight.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

SPLITTERS!

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 7:50 pm

interesting partheno story- the stick insects at the National Zoo are all female and the ones at NMNH are all male. I was told a trade will be happening to change the gene pool

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I now forgive you for creating Poco, Jim.

FraAnima September 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Vahevala – homeward sailors.

FraAnima September 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Woah, dude, you edited your comment. Or I really am tripping. Or both.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

There was one I loved.

Anyway, bye ,bye

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

They certainly had chops.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

BLUNTS FIRED UP! READY TO GO!

LETS GO CHANGE THE…Uh… change the …
change the radio station, man. Yeah, Reggae!

Woooooo! Let's go find a White Castle!

Isyaignert September 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

You sound like a lot of fun on a date!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Thanks! That's sweet. Where are my car keys? My left shoe? How did my pants get in the tree? Why's this boat up on somebody's lawn?

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

G-d, my ears are sweating already.

Hera Sent Me September 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I'm already drunk and naked.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I think you mean still.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Aren't we all?

MinAgain September 6, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Overachiever.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

That's the spirit!

FraAnima September 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Oh wow…oh WOW man…did you see that…OH WOW…look, tracers man…

MosesInvests September 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

As I read that, I heard it in Tommy Chong's voice.

FraAnima September 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

What a coincidence. I AM zombie Tommy Chong.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I hope you have some Nice Dreams.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

We can only hope that Joe and Barack do the hair piece / herpes bit on stage tonight.

MinAgain September 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

If he knocks me up, it will be a miracle of modern politics. I'm just sayin'.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

You'll make all the godless liberals rethink their stance on Christianity, or at least, virgin birth.

BlueStateLibel September 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Delivered in a nerdish but commanding voice: "A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship; but it is not this day! An hour of woe, and shattered shields, when the Age of Men comes crashing down; but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand!"

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

ha!

i was going to say i liked: all our hopes now lie with two little hobbits, blah, blah, blah

but then i had to instead reference this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyoWmkhRyp8

whiskeybaby September 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm

you have my sword, bluestatelibel

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

CNN is showing me video footage of Eva Longoria "petting" Jessica Alba at a bar near the convention. This is way hotter than the footage of Miss Lindsay "milking" Marcus Bachmann last week.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/provincialelitist/eva-lon

No, its Eva and Jessica! I know you don't have brain bleach!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

The woman on the left is a damn good chewer.

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Um, brb………….

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Sadly, it's only light petting.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

You have to start somewhere.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Nice Acid suggestion, Rebecca. Thanks. Now I've got a Bizarre Audial Residue all over my Teen-Age Record Player.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Supposedly, Zappa said he disbanded the Mothers because "people clap for the wrong reasons." Or maybe he was talking about Mitt Romney's speech last week. I don't know, I'm high.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I am so high. Don't tell Frank, he's gonna be pissed.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

My hairdresser is running late. If I am not home in time for Biden I am never going back to her again. But I will be well quaffed for when I get preggers!

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Joey's tearing up over his son's speachisms….yay!

Limeylizzie September 6, 2012 at 7:22 pm

coiffed or quaffed?

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Goddammit! Can I be both?

Limeylizzie September 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Yes!

weejee September 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Abspoelutely

Spurning Beer September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Turn your head and coif.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

How does this work, do we just lie back and think of Medicare?

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I won't be able to watch the big speeches live tonight, because, hello, some of us have jobs!…but anyway, I am counting on all of you to leave extraordinarily awesome comments for me to read late tonight so that I can feel as though I was there. Can you be counted on? (Say yes.)

Native_of_SL_UT September 6, 2012 at 7:22 pm

That's what I did for the GOP convention.
Then went to work the next day and was able to stand around the water cooler and talk like I had actually watched every minute of the damn thing.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Only 'cause you asked.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Fucking elitist, with your fancy job…

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Biden Biden Beau Biden, Banana-fana-fo Fiden! Good lookin' kid.

Not_So_Much September 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Seems brainy too. I think he'll do fine taking over the family biz when he's ready.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm

His Time is coming. He would have run for Old Joe's seat had he not had to prosecute the worst child molester in history, Dr. Earl Bradley. Said molestor's multiple life sentence was affirmed today by the Delaware Supreme Court. Beau's path is clear now. Not sure what he will run for, though. Both Senate seats and our only House seat are occupied by Dems.

And now, to watch Gov. Orange Christ tell us how awful the GOP is….

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

And thank you for that, teabaggers, giving us the crazy loser non-witch because Mike Castle was too reasonable for you.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

On the other hand, the teabaggers gave us the most elfin member of the United States Senate. I swear, Chris Coons literally has pointy ears.

Barrelhse September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"Let's do 'Chuck'!"

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Joe, ya big sap!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Joe loves and takes care of his family, something certain other folks fail to do. Not naming names. Cough…Joe Walsh…cough

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

When Biden cries he cries like a MAN.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

He was a bit shy about it too.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Oh man, Joe Biden is crying over his son's intro! Boehner is all like, "how does he make that look so real?!"

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Well, not crying two or three times a day is a good start.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Not being plastered in Vodka after 3 in the afternoon and hungover 'till Noon helps. Also.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

I love Joe. He's a lot like some of my male relatives. Smart, heart in the right place, doesn't tolerate fools, and a goofy personable way about him.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Foo Fighters are performing tonight?! Why not the Eagles Of Death Metal?!

Spurning Beer September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Al Green or GTFO.

kittensdontlie September 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Word to the Wise:
C-Span coverage seems to be the only channel without a delay. DNC website streaming is delayed by a minute, and the networks are but not as bad. You might miss something, maybe not a nipple slip, but what if part ways into his speech 'Bama drops his pants and tells that Mitt Romulan to kiss his sweet balack *ss. You never know….

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Time is just a bullshit social construct, man, so vote tonight!

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Osama and Brietbart both still dead.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

GM still alive.

Spurning Beer September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Ask Andrew Breitbart if he's better off than he was four years ago.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Don't mind if I do.

MinAgain September 6, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Joe Biden cries the tears of a clown. But he's our clown, dammit!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Foo Fighters are fine, but I'm in the mood to hear Bruce sing American Land

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

CNN has a helpful Chyron explaining who Dave Grohl is.

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Now if they'd just explain who Wolf Blitzer is sposta be.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I'm thinking about taking a bathroom break, all in favor of the motion say 'Aye' …

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

"Aye eee he hee hehe hehehehehehehe!!"

I am so high

IndianaKevin September 7, 2012 at 6:43 am

Oh, sorry. Just now saw this. Are you still holding it and waiting for votes? Aye.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Since I can't be at home watching this, I'm going to liveblog from my hairdresser's.

4:27 PST – it's really hot under this dryer.
4:30 – this is taking way too long and I have to pee.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Have you quaffed yet?

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

4:48 – kicked bobbert in the ass.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

OW MY ASS!!!

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

CNN has a helpful Chyron explaining where the name "Foo Fighters" comes from.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I hope CNN has a helpful Chyron explaining what Rock n Roll is.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Is it correct? I.e., UFOs?

Maman September 6, 2012 at 7:39 pm

The Chyron on MSNBC is just tweet oriented. I can't switch to CNN. I am too full of fast facts already

Maman September 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Oh Joe. You done good by those kids of yours and you know it.. Beau made you cry and for all the right reasons (not like my kid)

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Now, Mick Jagger spazzes onto the stage with the Foo Fighters and kicks into "Brown Sugar"!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Needz moar Jeff Tweedy.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

"We are not at the convention because live blooging is impossible when you can’t pause or rewind, and also we are not at the convention because we are never leaving the house again, because OLD AND TIRED. So old. So tired. But at least our eyeballs have stopped crackling, so that is a plus!"

I feel your pain. I was a little bit bitchy in my 8am meeting this morning.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Why don't the Foo Fighters have any lyrics about America's enemies going to hell?! Where's the pedal steel, fiddles and banjos?!

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm

WE LOVE YA JOE!!!!

OurHoboSenator September 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I don't really like the Foo Fighters, but I like this song. No snark.

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Look at all the Oldz rockin' out.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

White folks clappin' out of time! God bless 'em!

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm

We try! A for Effort.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Are they at least missing the backbeat instead of the downbeat?

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Absolutely- it is the only way I know how. Certain white people from Philly used to know how to dance- I was never one of them

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Franny Giordano libel!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Remember how the righties were saying the last night was being moved indoors because nobody was going to show up? That was funny.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

The Foo Fighters' drummer always looks a little too into it.

Gleem McShineys September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I hope CNN has a chyron explaining why

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

He knows the frontman can replace him without missing a beat.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Obama Vs Romney = Foo Fighters Vs Taylor Hicks.

Maman September 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Even old ladies on oxygen and in jazzies love them some Foo.

Nostrildamus September 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Here's hopin' Joe lays down some nice, juicy F-bombs.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Some Romney surrogate will snark about how we're havin' a rock concert while they're tryin' to save the country. I will wish him/her a self-fucking in advance.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I'd die in a ditch for Joe Biden, but I wouldn't shit in a pit for Paul Ryan.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Who is the old fella in the video with the bow tie? I'd like to buy him a drink.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Old men in bow ties kick ass.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

He looked a lot like a retired Milk Drivers and Dairy Employees organizer I bend elbows with at my dive.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Nobody be funny. I'm at a school curriculum night and out loud laughing would be suspicious.

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

DO NOT READ EL PINCHE THEN

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm

This is why I stopped looking at the wonkette during company meetings.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

How does the teacher read schoolwork?

˙sןıdnd ɹǝɥ ɥʇıʍ

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Is pr0n okay?

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Bastard!

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

James Clyburn reminds me of a church deacon telling us we better not be rubbin' up on each other in the back of the bus on the way to the Youth Retreat.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

As a young Christianistani, I never really thought about acting out on the carnal desires, until the concept was aired in public discourse. At that point, I figured I'd already been ear-fucked, might as well go for the sweat, sweat love itself.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 7:42 pm

How dedicated am I as a political nerd?

So dedicated that I am missing Fashion's Night Out, which was very inconveniently scheduled for this evening. FFS, can't a girl like both fashion and politics? Don't know why the idiots and assholes who run FNO couldn't have scheduled it for next week…

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Oh, hon, tough call, but I'm glad you chose politics!

ThundercatHo September 7, 2012 at 12:06 am

Thank goodness we could record Project Runway.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:14 am

Damn I forgot about that. Guess I'll watch it online.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:44 pm

OMG, Kerry Washington. You know, she's on a show where she plays a lady who's fucking the President. Let's all take a bunk break.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm

She is much hotter than that blonde chick from Northern Exposure. Much.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

The one who always wore her shirt out on that show to hide her big fat ass? (Watched it every week.)

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

She is teh hawt!

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

bunk break- is that a Firefly reference?

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I don't know, "I'll be in my bunk" seems to be code for "fap-break" around here.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Yes.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Hard to believe that one State delegation could contain both James Clyburn and Jim DeMint.

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

cf. Tom Harkin and Steve King

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Old black dudes lookin' at Kerry Washington thinkin' "yesss indeed!!" OK, it's just me.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm

"You may not think about politics, but politics is thinking about you." That's pretty good.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Politics is looking for me?! Hide the stash(s)! I'd include moneys, but that's hiding so I well I can't even find them.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Charlie Crist is speaking at the convention tonight?

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Hmmm. SC Public TV station has dumped live coverage of the Convention tonight. Could be they don't want South Carolinians to see Jim Clyburn, Obama, etc.?

Arborista September 7, 2012 at 2:45 am

Actually, they did pick up coverage quite soon after Clyburn's speech/sermon…

Maman September 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Dear Rebecca, I am going through the "change". I never get enough crying in for the day.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I feel ya, Maman

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Is this the first time a Prince song has been played at a convention? They should have gone with one of his other songs, say, International Lover.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

The Repugs didn't play "1999"?

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Maybe "1899".

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

They should have played "Darling Nikki" for Gov. Haley!

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Triphoria libel!

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm

"Scarlett Johannson's at the podium! Make sure the First Lady is still in Hair & Makeup and NOT NEAR ANY MONITORS!!"

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Kerry at 8:45! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I'm turning into my Mother. I looked at Scarlett Johannson and thought "She's such a pretty girl. Why is she wearing so much eye makeup?"

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

FoxNews commenting on SarJo's voter fraud in 3…
2,
1…..

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Earth Wind and Fire! Loving the music!

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Can the DNC offer classes to the whites on how to clap to music?

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Fox is showing nothing but upskirt shots.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Ugh, close your legs Doocy.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Nice try, but I'm still not watching. I don't want to see Ann Coulter's dangly bits.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Who the hell said we only had B list stars??

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Never seen any of her work, but I've heard the name a bunch.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Aretha! Cripes hanna, they've swiped my iPod

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Think!

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Bammers just sent me an email saying, "Before I go out on stage, please send me some monies!"

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

I get one of those every 10 minutes.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Send a guy three bucks for a sticker and he's on you forever.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:08 pm

So do I. I just liked the "just before I go out…"

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Gabby!!!!!!!

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Gabby!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Not a dry eye in the house.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Bit o' trivia: Duane Allman played guitar on Aretha's "Think."

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

That I did not know.

weejee September 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Yee ha go Gabby!!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm

GABBY! I'm standing for the Pledge. Even though I have no pants.

I HAVE NO PANTS AND I MUST PLEDGE!

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Just don't put pledge on your pants.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Go Gabby!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Gabbie Giffords, bless her heart and I mean that. She looks great.

OMG, got tears in my eyes.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Dammit, I'm crying for GG.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm

GABBY!!!!!!!!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm

WOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!

Welcome, Gabby. Welcome.

Thank you.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

If Gabby didn't just bring you to tears you have no soul.

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

That was just awesome.

weejee September 6, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Glad I have a water-resistant keyboard

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Hmm, turns out I do have a soul after all. Well waddaya know…

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

DId you hear Rachel Maddow say, "No, don't go to that camera because I'm crying like everyone else in the country!"?

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I did not! Rachel is awesome and gets it.

Bluestatelibel September 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Mitt Rmoney cries bitter robot tears as we speak…

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Aw and here I was busy buying snacks for a visitor I'm gonna have next week; I guess I shouldn't have gone to get them.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Bittersweet moment. Yes, I teared up, but I'm a crybaby. I mean, I'm sensitive.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

BRUCE!!!

Now, I want him to perform live. Barry, make it happen.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

GAbby! GAbby! GAbby!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Dammit–did I just miss Gabby? Crap!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

I'm sorry, but look at our convention, and look at theirs. Anybody who says there is no difference between Dems and Repubs is missing something.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Yeah. Anger, hate and bitterness just bleed right through. Hope and love, they shine right through.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

That and this convention actually has real Americans and looks like America, not just a bunch of old white people.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Good for Caroline Kennedy for not being shy about standing up for reproductive rights.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Finally! Dems be kickin' some butt.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

They've finally, finally stopped running away on both reproductive rights and gay marriage, and showing balls on them.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

At this time last week, the GOP had a Panzer tank parade.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Kal Penn talking about how he passed out fliers at the Illinois delegation four years ago.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Caroline is putting me to sleep again…

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Bumper sticker in the crowd:

Save Medicare – Vote Democrat

Does this mean we have embraced the "Democrat Party" label that the Reeps love to throw at us, the way we embrace Obamacare?

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I'm in favor!

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Eh, I don't think it really matters, does it?

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Hearing a Repig say "The Democrat Party" used to bother me until I looked at all the times I'd written about "Repiglicans" (or worse) on facebook.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 11:49 pm

It's a big part of the reason I started calling them Reeps (rhymes with "creeps.")

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I feel like I'm at the symphony and they're playing the slow movement.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Javier Becerra–I live in his district! Though redistricting gives me Adam Schiff after this year.

ETA: he looks better here than he does in his photos.

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Too bad Barry is gonna be like dry toast after Bubba pancakes last night.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 8:13 pm

I'll take that bet.

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Toast… with butter and dark, sweet jam.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Blackberry jam.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Sloe jam.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Yum!

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. (So I've been told.)

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Yeah I dunno, I really don't find him to be all that great of a speaker, but then again I generally avoid watching him speak. Yes, yes, yes, I am a good little libtard and all that, but he just comes across all stilted to me. Don't get me wrong, he is no John Kerry, but someone on NPR this morning said how "dynamic" of a speaker he is and I just laughed.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I generally agree – it's like he has his truly inspired moments, but most of the time he's afraid of what Fox News is going to say about him if he flubs a line (and they do, ad nauseum, like "you didn't build that"). He used to be incredible when he was campaigning and shortly thereafter… then he became more stilted like you say. Hopefully he brings back the A-game tonight to seal the deal. Fuck Fox News.

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Well I gotta say, I am digging it.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Me too.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:09 pm

"Now, maybe Governor Romney has forgotten what got us into this mess in the first place, but we haven't"

Too bad that quote is a little long for a bumper sticker…

(Christ, I originally typed "Governor Obama." It's been a long campaign…)

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2012 at 8:09 pm

So tired. But at least our eyeballs have stopped crackling, so that is a plus!

Eyeball(s) plural? Come now, Rebecca, what do you take us for?

commiegirl99 September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Fare where have you been darling dear?

Self-Uploader September 6, 2012 at 8:10 pm

8:05: Just tuned in.
I missed the gays dancing! (Crap, my cousin was there).
Caroline (Will Never Be a Senator) Kennedy.
Just saw Gabby Giffords. (Wasn't there some young, gay Mesican guy who helped save her life and got recognized at that tribute thing? Shouldn't he be speaking? Just a thought.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Sad to say he's not a very good speaker. He's still a student at U of A and didn't even get elected when he ran for student body president. Personally, I think the students should be ashamed of themselves, but his platform didn't include beer pong on every street corner, so he lost.

Self-Uploader September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Thanks, Jukesgrrl.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Tucson's Lois Lane, happy to be of service.

Maman September 6, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Still getting more Gabby coverage. On stage with her best friend, DWS (needs a keratin treatment) and sitting in the audience with her astronaut. What is wrong with me? Dry as the Sahara

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:10 pm

"If you believe in America, you invest in America"

Now *there's* the bumper sticker…

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

But, but, but, aren't the Caymans in Amercia?

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Well they're NEAR. Like, the President!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Coupon Care! Bumper sticker

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm

One thing that can be said about Caroline Kennedy. Charisma is not an inherited characteristic. (But she seems to be a very nice, very rich lady.)

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm

"Coupon care"? Good question…love it!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:12 pm

A stinking drunk GE Smith is outside the arena begging to be let in. Embarrassing.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Jenny!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Jennifer Granholm? Hope she gives a great speech, she wasn't much of a governor.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Watch yo mouth. I know at least one person here who would clock you for that.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Michigan accents make me giggle.

Millennial Malaise September 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I don't know much about her gubernatorial record but she is killing it with this speech!

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Maybe. Couldn't say. But what a babe.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Isn't she the shoe-banger?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Aw, my dog just licked the screen as Governor Granholm started speaking about saving the auto industry…

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Ford Wixom closing was a big fuckin' deal.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Wham! He saved the American auto industry–she sounds good.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:15 pm

"In 2009 the cavalry arrived…and he saved the auto industry"

Nice…

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Cars get the elevator, and the workers get the shaft.

OH, SNAP!!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

"The millionaires get the auto elevator and the workers get the shaft"

Oh yeah!

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Piers Morgan is interviewing First Sister Maya Soetoro-Ng. Such soothing, dulcet tones! Her, not the git, of course.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Did she bring the adorable First Niece with her? Too cute.

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Is he interviewing her face-to-face, or is he breaking into a phone call with her husband?

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Rebecca real men don’t go to conventions their day is too booked stuffing Paultards into lockers. If you need to resort to the love that dare not speak its name to get through this trip we won’t hold it against you.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Yeah, humping with Dave Weigel isn't love that dare not speak its name but … whatever.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

In Romney's America, the cars get the elevators the workers get the shaft. Not that original but still a great line.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:16 pm

You need a 3-D TV to get the full effect.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Virginia–good for her! Also NC and Wisconsin! Keep shouting out to those swing states!

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

The DNC is so diverse… they've got shouty speakers and quiet speakers and boring speakers and Foo Fighters!

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Fighting Foo, as always.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:17 pm

DAMN this woman knows how to get a crowd going! Good for her.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Jennifer Granholm is ON FIRE!

This is good to see.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

It's so refreshing to see a drunken politician again!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

A drunken, happy politician. Unlike the drunken, weepy one we usually have to watch.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Bravo! The amazing thing about that speech was that Jennifer Granholm was also doing kegels the whole way through.

IndianaKevin September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Multi-tasking!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:21 pm

I thought I saw movement! Now, that's talent.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

JENNIFER!!!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Seriously nasty trolls in twitter thingy at bottom of page.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

and that is why I make sure I don't watch a channel with that shit. I was yelling at the TV the other night- so my husband said change the channel- and it worked!!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Holy shit–hey, Michiganders, can you elect more people like her? Bring it!

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Too bad she was born in Canada. Warren/Granholm '16 is an impossibility. :(

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

I see…I'll settle for sending her to the Senate.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I think Jennifer is overdosing on Redbull or something.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I'll have what she's having.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

EVA!! Hot in a blue dress.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:19 pm

And now a desperate housewife? WTF?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

The speakers at the DNC are a hell of a lot more attractive than the RNC's.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Shit, howdy!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Hello nurse!

BoatOfVelociraptors September 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Hellloooooo nurse.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Eva!

*Swoon*

*thunk*

savethispatient September 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Re: 8:12pm – BigSkullF*ckingDog's asterisk is a U? How rude! I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I know! That * could be any vowel, or sometimes Y!

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

I love a man who protects my right to abortion while impregnating me!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

"The Eva Longoria who worked flipping burgers needed a tax break, but the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets does not"

NICE!

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Never my favorite housewife, but the gal is giving good speech!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm

the Eva Longoria who flipped burgers at Wendy's needed a tax break. the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets doesn't. Nice.

LibrarianX September 6, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Free BIRD!!!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Great hair.

savethispatient September 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Eva Longoria is right: damn those 13-year-old girl cyber-squatters!

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

If you watch Caroline Kennedy's speech on mute but blast "The Wall" it totally fucking makes sense!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Montana's governor? Never seen him–this could be interesting.

And yes, Governor, we sure do have work to do…

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

They're showing Granholm's greatest hits on MSNBC. I do believe she just did a Palin wink at somebody! And now she's cabbage-patching!!

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Stirrrrr the pot Jen, Stirrr it…and electric slide…

BoroPrimorac September 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Is Gov. Granholm on the sauce?

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Sextuple shot latte, maybe?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Said this before, I'll say it again…I'll have what she's having.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Don't they sell any neckties west of the Mississippi? I see a untapped market niche.

Woops! Missed the bolo. Shoulda known.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

In Iran too – (see President Casual-Friday Ahmadinejad)

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Nice string tie, Governor of Montana but you are no Jennifer Granholm in the rousing speech department.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I think it was during a work trip to Montana(years ago) that I bought bolo ties for my family- not sure when I thought a 7 year old girl and a 9 year old boy would wear them(and they didn't- neither did my husband)

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Mitt is not a loyal American, that's why his money is in the Caymans and he avoids paying his taxes.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Oh yeah–don't let people forget about Mittens' debt….

Self-Uploader September 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Eva's good
I'm sensing the dems strategy is to get the same republican 0% for Latinos as for African Americans.

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I wish we could get the same for women.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:27 pm

14% cut in education in the first year? Yikes!

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm

What does Gov Sideburns have against hunting dogs?

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm

MITT Romney hates milk!

And guns!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Quadrupled the fee for gun licenses? Oh boy, the NRA gun nuts are going into severe cognitive dissonance…

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:28 pm

WTF does "that dog don't hunt" mean? Leave the nonsense sayings to the Republicans, Western dude with the silly string tie thing!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

He's trying to appeal to the people who think saying things like that shows a common touch.

Annoying, yes, but it could work…

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

It's the reach around, the reach around the aisle. For bipartisanship.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

We used that cliche in the south, too. Nuthin' wrong with a good regionalism. You snob.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Hey, no hate here…I've got my own annoying sayings.

Hera Sent Me September 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Two problems: The expression is "That dog won't hunt" and it's a Southernism.

Maybe he's got that string wrapped too tight.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm

That makes no sense whatsoever. For one, why would you care, or even know, if your pet dog hunts or not?

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

My dog hunts the laser pointer. TOTAL badass. Afraid of squirrels, though.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

My dog did- and I don't – she killed 2 possums and a bunny here in the burbs. I don't know what it means though.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

My cat did; my old apartment building had a problem with mice, but not my unit, where the only ones I saw were dead in her paws.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Montana governor needs to get off the stage. He stopped the enthusiasm from Granholm and Longoria dead in its tracks.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Yeah, this guy is boring. Even when making a good point his delivery is just dull; even talking about bin Laden being dead he just makes me yawn.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Two words: smoke break.

Janinthepan September 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Did anyone notice the "Obámanos" sign in the crowd? Obama has become a Spanish verb-that is awesome!

MosesInvests September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I was seeing that here in Austin, Tejas four years ago.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

All kidding aside, folks.

Watching the 2012 Democratic National Convention gives me the feeling that I've slipped back through the space-time rift into the Normal Universe. Where people do and say things that make sense, evil is not lauded as good and smart people make evidence based decisions. And…the audience isn't a nightmarish landscape of fat white clones.

I hope I get to stay, this time.

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Just keep up the momentum C_R Eature & maybe we can keep the Morlocks from grabbing it again.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Hey, I'll got through those hairy white fuckers before I go back to Backwards Universe. Take that to the bank.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Montana has like four people in it. But cows. and varmints.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Glacier National Park, too

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

"And we vetoed Republican tax increases"

OMG, the FOX News people must be losing their shit…

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Oh, they lost it long ago. But yeah!

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Jen Granholm gives me tingle in my leg.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Gen JC Christian ‏@JC_Christian

"Granholm left the stage an immediately punched Chuck Todd "

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I did not think I could love her more after her speech, but now I just adore her.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Chuck Todd was all "To be fair, Republican's would probably punch me too."

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Yes, I'm slacking here, but I do have many tabs open.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:31 pm

He sucks. He just keeps bragging about his own state.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Yeah, but he's a successful Dem in a western State. Let him brag a bit

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

For the Mafiosi Wonketteers, that's quel cane non caccia!

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

"Eva Longoria, when did you stop being an asshole who clocks valets and shit and start being so frigging menschy?"

When she touched Scarlett in a familiar manner?

IndianaKevin September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Good strategy! Keep mentioning Romney & dog – they go together real well.

Joshua Norton September 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

OMG – "Desperate Housewives" actress. Waaaay better than old man with chair.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Bin Laden sure isn't in heaven… Mmmm-mmmm- red meat!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Oh yeah, here comes the bi – partisan kick. Crist!

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

RAINBOWZZZ!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Bill O'Reilly just announced that he doesn't see anyone trying to interfere with women's reproductive choices.

So that's settled.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Charlie Crist is looking a little crisp.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

His skin looks like finely tanned leather.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Corinthian.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Jen Granholm has a little of that "Regional Sales Manager cuttin' loose at that karaoke bar" thing going on. I am afraid she would take advantage of me.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Yup. She's got "You're gonna wake up naked and alone, chained to the bed in a Holiday Inn" written all over her.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:38 pm

I would volunteer to be her office slave boy.

mayor_quimby September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

This one time, in Vegas….
Let's jut say you shoulda seen her fist pump then!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Crist is pretty cute for an older guy, actually…

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Temptations, nice!

And Brian Sweitzer done good, too. Now Charlie Crist? Wow!

Millennial Malaise September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

That has got to be the worst "Four More Years" chant I've ever heard. Brian Schweitzer seems like a good dude, had a great tv appearance a few weeks ago. But he should never lead a chant ever again.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Charlie Crist? He's endorsing Obama. Fox is trying to figure out what's worse than a RINO.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Charlie Crist–the Republican party left me.

Yeah, that an you are a bit of a creep.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Rational republican? I must be tripping too. And I quit that shit when I was 17.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Stay away from the brown acid!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm

"Today's Republicans…just aren't up to the task"

I'll say–sing it, Governor!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Crist should shut up about Reagan. He must be trying to cover his GOP flank.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Jesus mcfucktits all twatwaffled and leaky. The ad script that keeps reflowing the content on the iPad is horrendous.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Hey, can I borrow that? Your invective, not your iPad.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Hey we've got our own party crossover now! Now that you're with the Dems Charlie maybe you can try coming out of the closet?

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

He's got a purty mouth…

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

He'll resist out of respect to his "wife."

Until they can both burst from the closet at the same glorious moment!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Florida is always on the edge of disaster. If its not the economy, it's mother nature or some crazy assed locals.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Too many old people.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Too many gunz.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

As Florida native Daniel Tosh said, Florida is flat, hot, and dumb.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Too much sunshine, too much humidity.

Bluestatelibel September 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Alligators. And 20-foot long pythons. It's like living in Australia without all the fun.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Crist is looking very orange tonight.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Baked

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:03 am

Orange looks better on him than it does on Boneheader.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

"He simply saw Americans who needed help…I saw the leader our country needs."

And *we* see both of those things very clearly…

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I have to say that Charlie is a nice looking man, well dressed, and with a fab tan. He played quarterback for Wake Forest?

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Charlie you owe us one for letting that dickwad win the governorship. Now go deliver Florida.

Misty Malarky September 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Is Charlie now officially a Silver Fox?

What's next? Hot Anderson/Charlie action?

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Florida – where the cockroaches are the size of SST's

Misty Malarky September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

They're Palmetto Bugs, Dammit!

Palmetto Bugs!

Not only are they huge, but they can fly and screech like tree frogs.

Please God, don't them them really be cockroaches . . .

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

"…I see a leader who will give me a cabinet job. That's the reason I'm here tonight."

Still, we're grateful for the help. Now change parties.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Christ, if we had more rational, concerned, logical Republicans like Crist, Obama's post partisan ideas for governing would stand a chance…

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

OMG–Geraldine! Talk about going back in the day…

sudsmckenzie September 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

"God Bless America, now where did those Castro twins go?"

bluerinse666 September 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Any dem that doesn't vote should have to look John Lewis in the face and tell him why.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

And now hologram Geraldine Ferraro!

OurHoboSenator September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Just don't let her criticize Mittens. Because then Reince Priebus will haz to haz a sad.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Uh, oh. I see dead people.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

How many?

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Thoroughly enjoyed Charlie Crist's rendition of "What I did on my Summer Vacation"

RadioX September 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Can women be "menschy"?

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

If they get to come on to Scarlett Johanssen, yes.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm

TV was fuzzier in 1984.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Geraldine? That was very Breitbartian.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Yup! Dead people, like John Kerry!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I remember seeing Geraldine Ferraro be nominated at the convention. My family was eating dinner with a TV moved so we could see history happening.

Midway117 September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I memorized her nomination speech for my high school speech team.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

John Kerry–pardon me while I nod off for a few minutes.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Is it my imagination, or did Geraldine Ferraro just deliver a 2-minute speech?

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

REEEEEporting for Duuuuty!!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

John Kerry was fuzzier in 2004.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Windsurfer ketchup guy!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:43 pm

He served in Vietnam, unlike the Rethuglicans. And he repudiated that war.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Who'll be the last to die for a mistake?

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

The Republicans never forgave him for either one.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Kerrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

"He would rely on them–after all, he's the great outsourcer…this is not the time to outsource the job of commander in chief"

Well played, John Kerry…

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Whoa what happened to Kerry's face? Looks like he got some fancy fillers or something.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Maybe a chemical peel, too

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

He looks like a Real Housewife if the real housewives were lesbian grandmas from the eastern seaboard.

(I'm sorry. I don't really have anything against him. It's just unsettling.)

Misty Malarky September 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

He must go to the same guy as Lance Henriksen.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

This thread is gonna be EPIC!

(and maybe get me to 115 pee?)

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

I see the strategy now. Ramp down, to ramp up.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

HEY! John Kerry being all loud and stuff, too bad it's 8 years too late. Yell it Senator Kerry!

Millennial Malaise September 6, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Climate Change! DRINK!!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Someone has to finally mention environmental issues of some kind

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

SRSLY.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I am getting a little tired of all this shouting on street corners by myself. The tips can be OK, though.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Kerry's gotten better at this speechifyn' stuff. I think he's angrier this time.

I know I am.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

He has less at stake personally this time, too. Kerry's getting some honey badger spirit finally

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:45 pm

"They opposed everything that makes America exceptional in the first place"

Slick…

OurHoboSenator September 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Oh man, all those hours and days and weeks I spent campaigning for this guy. Sigh.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Stuxnet! Stuxnet! Stuxnet!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

When did we ban torture?

Oh, right. Jersey Shore's been cancelled. WOOHOO!

DustBowlBlues September 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I join the chorus of voices yellng "shit! Not John Kerry:Buzz Killer.!"

Misty Malarky September 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Lily! Grandpa!

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:47 pm

John Kerry…. who, thanks to Ken Blackwell is not the outgoing 44th President of the United States.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Jeezuzz. Where was this guy 8 years ago?

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Gettin Swift-boated by Karl Rove, I believe.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Purple band-aids!

(Green balloons!)

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

That ex-gov from MI was hawt!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

"It took President Obama…to give that order and finally rid this earth of Osama bin Laden"

Ah, I just can't hear that enough–

"Ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off now than he was four years ago"

OMG I love this!

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

This is not the John Kerry who has been my senator for way too long! Holding out?

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

They all got Big Dog Fever last night.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Ask OBL if he's better off than he was four years ago. Now that's a bumper sticker!

IndianaKevin September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

I don't care for the "exceptionalism" meme much because it seems to imply others are lesser beings, but I like the perspective Kerry applied to it.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Fuck Israel.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

John Kerry bringing it: "Ya Want some heinz ketchup with ya red meat?"

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off now than he was 4 years ago.

Oh my!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Damn–great line–ask Osama bin Laden if he is better off than he was four years ago.

That is worth listening to all the other words Kerry is saying.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

He really has improved!

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

"Ask Osama Bin Ladin if he is better off than he was four years ago."

I so want that bumper sticker.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I'm going to make a little poster of that for my Dad to hang on the bulletin board at his American Legion post. Should make a few tea bagger heads explode. Lol

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

I'm ready to print 'em up myself.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

"I'll take the word of Israel's Prime Minister over that of Mitt Romney any day"

Good one, Kerry…

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Did Kerry just diss Binnie Netanyahu? Nah, of course not.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm

BAM!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Does anyone know what Mitt Romney wants to do in foreign policy?

Does Mitt?

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

What day of the week is it?

Spurning Beer September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

He'll tell us later. We people have all the information we need.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Give unsolicited Olympics advice.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Tabitha Hale ‏@TabithaHale
Wait, Obama has more foreign policy experience than Romney? Is that what Kerry is saying?
Expand

3m TBogg TBogg ‏@tbogg
@TabithaHale Yes. Obama has been president for the past 3 years. You didn't know? It was in all of the papers…

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

The pollsters?

RadioX September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Something about Paris and the French countryside.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:08 am

If so I can't imagine why (Oh no, no)
We've all got time enough to cry

MilwaukeeKent September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Judging by the response he got in Great Britain, I'm think he wants to be the Buffoon and do the prat-fall.

imissopus September 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

WE WILL NOT LEAD FROM BEHIND! WE WILL LEAD FROM THE FRONT, LIKE BRAVEHEART, OR JOHNNY QUEST!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Romney's a flip-flopper!! You go John Kerry!!!

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

The wind behind Kerry's wind-surfer has finally started to gust…eight years too late.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

"He has every position"

And we have a winner for the bumper sticker contest. Thanks for playing, everyone!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Gah I lost my internet connection for a bit; hope I didn't miss anything interesting – oh look John Kerry *yawn* zzzzzzzz….

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Actually, he's kickin' ass. I'm as surprised as anyone.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Where was he in 2004? (Not to mention current Al Gore in 2000).

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

He's our Mitt Romney, except he didn't avoid service to Viet Nam, and married into his money instead of inheriting it.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Yup, Teresa Heinz went from one Senator to another after John Heinz died. Kinda interesting. Also, windsurfing.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

And Heinz, while a Republican, was a decent, reasonable guy who would probably have been driven out of the party as a RINO had it not been for that helicopter crash.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Kerry is doing great!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

"He has every position"

Get a cap, my brother. A point in every direction is no point at all.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Romney's European tour – hahahaha!

(Still laughing about "Ich bein eine Polack" btw)

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

"Talk about being for it before you were against it…Mr Romney, you better finish your debate with yourself"

Oh yeah! Go Kerry!

Millennial Malaise September 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Yeouch!! That was delicious. If anything, Romney taught the master class of flip flopping.

mayor_quimby September 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Jennifer Granolm should marry Joe Biden. She's yelling shit, and fist pumping. She even winked at us.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

John Kerry's all "Fuck you, Republican cunts!"

8 years too late, but hey, I'll take it.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Is Heinz putting jalapenos in their ketchup these days?

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:10 am

PLEASE write a letter to Heinz suggesting this as a new product–I would gobble that up:

https://www.heinzketchup.com/contactus.aspx

Arborista September 7, 2012 at 3:38 am
Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Kerry is really flying–"Romney overseas wasn't a goodwill trip, it was a blooper reel."

He is really nailing his lines. Good speech!

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

How many years has this boring stiff been my senator? What ever he's drinking, give him more of it.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:12 am

I'll have what he's having.

(That line is *really* coming in handy tonight…)

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Mitt Romney's mama so fat…

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

OOOOHHHH Rocky IV shout out. Who says Democrats can't connect with Middle America?

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I'm guessing IV is the one where he fights Dolph Lundgren, the evil Russian Swede?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

It is indeed. The one with James Brown singing "Living in America," which the GOP used at their convention last week just to show that no one in the entire hall could dance.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Stallone Libel !!!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

When did Kerry learn to shoot zingers out of his vocal egress?

Terry September 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Kerry is a hoot tonight! Romney acts like he got his foreign policy by watching Rocky 4!

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

I loved that line.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

When will this millionaire on millionaire violence ever end?

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

They have everything in common! Well, they will after the election, anyway…

Biff September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

What, will Kerry be unemployed, too?

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

At least Kerry always had the self-awareness to realize he married into it, and it wasn't some bullshit bootstrapping, just luck.

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

So true, not to mention the Republican on Republican violence.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Poor ole Myth Rmoney… Kerry is jamming o that Mor(m)on.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

"A man…a man…a man…"

Is that a subtle jab at Mittens' lack of he-man masculinity?

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Or lack of noticeable huMANity?

Bluestatelibel September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

More like a subtle jabb at Mittens' missing human DNA sequence.

miss_grundy September 6, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Oh, snap! Where was this Kerry when he was running for President? This guy hit that bitch! Dang, boy!!!!!

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

yEAH, BUT jANE fONDA!!!!11!!

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Kerry just yachtboated Mitt with that swift one.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Double plus win with a twist at the end! (I liked it.)

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Good one.

(polite applause)

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Windsurf boarded.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:13 am

"yachtboated"

I bow to perfection.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

"Some of us from a prior war remember that coming home was not always easy"

Damn, Kerry owns this…

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

BAM! Kerry rips Romney a new one for not mentioning troops at war.

Dead solid perfect.

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Alt. John Kerry: "Bitter, party of one."

But he kinda wears it well……..

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Oh sure — say you're gonna start the liveblog at nine and then just churn right ahead while I obliviously watch Wipeout and do dishes. Okay, I needed to do the dishes anyway, but what'd I miss? John Kerry? Hahahahaha — hey his last few minute weren't bad, though.

Dr. Nick Riviera September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

OMG, REPUBLICANS DON'T LOVE THE TROOPS!!!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

They love 'em to death.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:14 am

Just ask the patients at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I like this Kerry guy I wonder if he has ever considered running for executive office.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

I *was* doing OK without alcohol…

(rushes off to liquor store…)

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Sounds like John Kerry took notes during Patrick Duval's speech.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Whatever it takes…

ChernobylSoup September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

I like this John Kerry guy. He should have run in 2004.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

It's a billionaire's pissing match. Now we know what gets them excited.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Yay vets, but this might be my only bathroom break…

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

So, has Rebecca disappeared to go have sex with Charlie Crist? 'Becs, there is no future there!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

That's nice about the veterans; Forrest Gump is still one of the worst movies ever made, and probably the most heinous Oscar ever. (And over both Pulp Fiction and Shawshank redemption!)

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

"Life is like a box of veterans."

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'……

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Ah fuck me, Tom Hanks?

Dr. Nick Riviera September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

BAM! Tom Hanks

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Kerry is our Mitt Romney, except he didn't avoid service in Viet Nam, so he was not acceptable to Republicans as a presidential candidate.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

there wasn't all that much wrong with him really. just a bad presidential campaigner.

not bad like mitt.

BoroPrimorac September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Swiftboat these nuts, bitch!

I'm John Kerry and I approve this message.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

"No nominee for President should fail to mention our brave troops fighting overseas again"
(paraphrased)

Kerry just grabbed the "Anti American War ProtesterCommieLiberal" baseball bat the Republicans have been beating us all with and tolchocked them soundly back, right in the yarbles, until we all felt better.

That was worth seeing.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Thank you John Kerry

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I have to say that this is the bestest Dem convention I've watched. Just great speakers all around.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Osama still bin dyin', yay!

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

And now…. moar war pr0n.

iTuna September 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I love that the Dems have wrested the 'we love the troops' angle away from the Republicans. We do love them!

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Strategically, the smartest thing they've done in decades.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Now if we could just stop sending kids to war…

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Obama killed OBL. Suck on that, Romney.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Isn't it treason to run on one's actual accomplishments?

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

It's treason to have actual accomplishments, I think.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

It is when you're a Nee-gro.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Only acceptable while wearing a tri-cornered hat.

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Thank you, DNC, for reminding me of the unease I felt watching Americans wildly cheer a man's death.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm

I understand that it's not in great taste to crow over the death of a person, but I think an exception can be made for bin Laden. Burn in Hell, rat bastard.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

*snoopy dance*

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried."

Richard III, WShakespeare

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Ten out of ten Tribecans agree.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:19 am

One of the worst moments in my life was the time that passed between when CNN mumbled something about a plane going down "near Pittsburgh" (my hometown, where my dad was still living and worked in the tallest building in the city) and the clarification that the plane went down in a rural area.

Which is a long winded way of saying "Yeah, what you said…"

Negropolis September 7, 2012 at 1:22 am

My sister works for United, so I know exactly what you mean. The time spent trying to find what flight she was on that morning was agonizing to say the least.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm

David Brooks is a pantywaist.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Shields should just walk over and fart in Brooks' face.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

David Brooks gIves pantywaists a bad name

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

David Brooks had to give his lunch money to pantywaists for all 5 years of his high school.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Kill him. Kill him with fire.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

GASP!!!!

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm

We will now adjourn for a brief "Rubbing Republican's noses in Barack's awesomeness" break.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Ton Hanks voice-over, famous veteran who saved Private Ryan.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Made it back for some of the veterans. Shit, this is much more inspiring than a bunch of washed up Olympians…

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Dead Marine's mother. Fuck you, W.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Struck out 4 times? Charlie Brown lives!

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

There he goes again, apologizing… to Vietnam Vets. What next, American Indians?

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:04 pm

He's done something even better, which the MSM totally ignored cuz it's blah Indians… http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/national/president-

And here's an even huger achievement, which slipped my mind… http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2012/04

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

He'l give 'em some more blankets.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I was anti-war until 9-11 and then it became fuck Osams Bin Laden. I'm stoked we're owning this- owning it while bringing the troops home – because no one likes war.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Oh it's Bob McAsshole on PBS. For a religious fanatic who hates planned parenthood he certainly has a faked air of professionalism and a big forehead. He's saying how we're not better off now — and yet last week he was taking credit for Virginia doing alright during this slow recovery, even though this state hosts tons of federal employees, the Norfolk naval yards, Quantico, air and naval bases — what a freaking opportunistic little chameleon.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

The base realignment moved a slew of civilian DoD employees out of Crystal City, Va, over to Pax River, Md. Maybe we could move a few thousand more across the river.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Retired Admiral John – Mathman? Did I hear that right? Are we sure that's not a character from Square One?

Barrelhse September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Mathnet!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Yay, I'm not the only person who remembers that!

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Mathman! That was always my favorite segment.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I'd like to raise a glass to the (no doubt exhausted) speechwriting team that is probably still typing backstage. EVERY SINGLE SPEECH at this convention has had take away lines that were utterly eloquent or bumper-sticker-ready … and most times both. Not one speech in Tampa, including the keynotes and the acceptances speeches, were at the level of the afternoon introducers in Charlotte. I've done enough corporate speechwriting in my life to know what a BITCH of a job it is. I am in awe of these people. Go cry in your Scotch Madame Noonington and Bat Buchanan; you've been powned.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

So true. Outstanding oratory, industrial strength rhetoric.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Said it before, I'll say it again–these vets could kick the asses of last week's Olympians…

Joshua Norton September 6, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Seriously, where the hell was that Kerry In 2004?

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Has that woman with the purple heart band-aid gotten fired from her job for having cancer yet?

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

They are really hitting the military/veteran issues hard. Kerry, the film and now a retired four-star and a bunch of Afghan/Iraq vets.

Very well done.

BoroPrimorac September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I can't wait until a republican goes on one of the Sunday shows and says war is just a distraction. .

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

It's pretty obvious that the GOP doesn't lurv the Troops nearly as much as we do.

Here's an idea- let's fighting trade wars. We're not the fuckin' Dutch. Now it's time to load the pipe.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Dammit! Are we going to be crying for the whole night?

Veteran tribute very touching. (no snark)

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I know, I've teared up a couple times already

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm

It was good.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I bet this Navy flier didn't crash any of his planes.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm

You can go to the house on that. Four stars.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Who is it that really loves the troops again?

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

That would be the Democrats. Again.

RadioX September 6, 2012 at 9:06 pm

So what is Charlie Crist doing these days? Why dealing windowpane of course!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Damn, I miss the Silver Dragon (blotter).

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Purple pyramid was as far as I went.

montreal_bruin September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Gold dolphin, anyone?

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Actually, he is working as a personal injury lawyer in Florida.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm

And his Harmon & Harmon ads are currently running on the TV.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Virginia governor Bob McDonnell — "A war on women that doesn't exist" — he signed a law that's basically gonna close down every abortion facility in the state that doesn't have the same equipment and facilities as a major hospital.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

His new name is Transvaginal Probe Bob

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:23 am

So, he's the new B – 1 Bob? Yuck…

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Man, I like this crew of troops way better than the RNC group of Olympians, especially that little troll shooter girl-person. Nicely nicely done.

Dr. Nick Riviera September 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

but they can jump far! America's greatest heroes!

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Bleeeeh Snide Hockey. Hero this, haters. USA USA USA

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

And what Olympians did the Dems have? I mean it's not like they had the winner of the gold in the most popular event of the Summer Olympics (who is also the first blah woman to ever win in that sport) or anything.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Rafalca Libel!!

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I…I seem to have something in my eye.

Dr. Nick Riviera September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Which of Mitt's servants is being forced to wear an Obama mask tonight so Mitt can yell at him?

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

AOTK.

Sorry, but you set me up.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

And cut said servants hair.

AnAmericanInTO September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Doesn't Mitt have a nice Chippendale chair that can stand in tonight?

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Rafalca refused.

mayor_quimby September 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I'm guessing the blackest one born after 1978

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I LOVE this discussion about how Obama worked to get businesses to hire veterans. This at a time when the Reeps want to outsource and the rich want to pay workers $2/day…

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 6:41 am

The VA alone is on track, budget wise, to hire and train 1,200 returning disabled veterans to handle the processing of the enormous backlog of claims.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

My Dad, a WW2 vet and proud Democrat, is tickled with this salute to vets and overview of veteran issues.

magic_titty September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I had it on mute. Did John Kerry go HAM?

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

He brought the swag.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Rachel Maddow called Kerry's speech a "roast of Romney" – hahaha – I love that beautiful dyke!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Fapfapfap!

Barrelhse September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

"Roast of Romney"- sounds like a dinner from Whoville.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Mission Accomplished, DNC.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

My dad went to college on a GI Bill when I was in middle school.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

My Dad did, too, when he got back from the Army. The GI Bill, along with what my grandfather could pay and my Dad working in the dining hall, meant that Dad got to study science instead of working in either a textile or wire mill.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Got my dad out of a coal mine and into a suit as an accountant.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Thank you vets!

Millennial Malaise September 6, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Democrats are serving Combat Realness. It's inspiring, really (the speaker is just ok) but can we just end the wars already? Just because we have an army doesn't mean we have to use it all the time, right? There was such a thing as peace time, right?

We can show love to the troops by giving them a fucking vacation!

Dr. Nick Riviera September 6, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Yeah yeah, but what does the furniture think, Mr. Army Man?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Hey now, that's Mr. Navy Man!

JackObin September 6, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I wonder if the Romney boy is getting loaded?

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 9:17 pm

In a very, very quiet room, I would venture.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Thanks Vets!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Yes, Republicans:

However much you may want to minimize the achievement now, it remains a fact that Barack Obama, Democratic President of the United States, gave the order to kill Osama Bin laden and it was a success. Barack Obama made bringing Osama bin Laden to justice a priority.
This happened.

The Previous, Republican President – the one you've been so successful at hiding – did not. Not only that, he actually said in public that he "didn't think about him (bin Laden)", disbanded the office designated to bringing bin laden to justice and pulled troops out of the Afghan border area to fight an illegal, poorly planned war of choice.
This happened too.

So – who's the patriot, now?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Shouldn't someone be yelling at an empty chair soon?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I'm sure, somewhere, John McCain is.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

John Kerry did that.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Thought that WWII vet was gonna pass out!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

What this needs is Springsteen to show up and rock da house!

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Or Betty White.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:17 pm

A fucking stump could upstage anything the GOP had to offer.

Dr. Nick Riviera September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Even with Clint Eastwood talking to it for a quarter of an hour

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Christie would eat his shorts. But then, he probably does that already.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Or Dylan doing "Leopard Skin Pill-Box Hat."

rocktonsam September 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

the Boss played in Madison on stage with Kerry days before the election in "04."

I'd rather see Niel Young or Alannis Morrisette or BTO

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 6:49 am

Also Allentown, PA.

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 6:49 am

Since the day it was a super, special, today only, secret, subscriber only down load from Amazon I have been hawking the WH people to use "We Take Care of Our Own." in the campaign. Totally went in the tank again, with another online contribution, when the Pres signed off his acceptance speech with it.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Wow, Florida is in the house tonight. Hope it helps push that swing state to the top…

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

No shortage of Latina knockouts, including Angie Flores, for Obama/Biden.

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Fuck I just missed being comment 666 on this live blog. Now I will have to find a goat to sacrifice to appease our Parties true leader.

iTuna September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

The Dems are pretty great at getting attractive people up on stage. Be still, my heart…

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Jill, baby, Jill!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Jill Biden, "second lady"?

Odd way to put it.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I just saw my former boss in the audience !!!!!

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

MY former boss was on stage last night and another former boss will be on later tonight

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I am mad enough to chew barb wire and spit nails.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:14 pm

That was one long bad trip.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Jill Biden's student is cute.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Dr. Jill! What a lucky lucky lady.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Oh, Rebecca. Obama can't get me pregnant now that I have my free government slutting-it-up pills!

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Jill is covering a lot of bases–teacher, military mom and, oh, by the way, wife of the VP.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Dr. Jill Biden, or Todd Palin? Compare and contrast.

OurHoboSenator September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Yeah, well, I'd like to see her win the Iron Dog snow machine race!

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

One instructs at a Community college, the other takes his instructions from a Community College dropout.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Their IQs sum to more than 100, so there's that.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I bet she could learn to ride a snow machine. Could he learn to teach English at the college level?

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

No fair. He would first need to learn English.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Hahahahahaha!

IndianaKevin September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Obviosity. Discuss.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Jill knows how to spell "dog sled."

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I'd hit Jill. Go, Joe!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

You not only get off, you get smarter.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Jill Biden has no experience – being a professor doesn't count according to the wanker party.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Jill Biden has perfect cheekbones.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Hot for teacher?

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Hot for all the women who have appeared on stage tonight.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Seriously. Them Dems is hot.

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I got my bottle of tequila and organic trail mix! What'd I miss?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:17 pm

And Jill Biden is still teaching; awesome.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Haven't heard from Biden or Obama and this night of the convention is already off the charts.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

VAWA!!!!!!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Oh yeah, keep reminding the wommenz about how helpful Biden was on VAWA,. sister…

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Violence Against Women Act? But I thought the War on Women was not real and just a distraction from the Real Issues (TM).

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Joe passed the "She just wouldn't shut up" bill.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Joe & I are all about the womynz!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

This story always gets me.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Yes – how awful that must have been.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

It happened not far from my house. Delaware is weird like that. Very sad story.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:19 pm

OK now I'm starting to cry.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

When she said "our boys" I was DONE, just done. What a family.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Oh yeah, that got me too. It seems they were very luckily in their eventual stepmother, in addition to Biden being a great single dad.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Awww, sb. You're so sweet.

imissopus September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Robots can't cry. Do you think Mitt Romney has ever cried? Hell no.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

He might cry if someone ever hurts his great love; his beautiful sexy money.

imissopus September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Cayman Islands road trip! Well, boat trip. We're gonna go to the Caymans and fuck Mitt's money up, is what I'm saying.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Christ, I knew about the accident, but didn't know it was when they were getting a Christmas tree…

Fuck the Biden haters, hard, in the ass (with votes!)

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Yeah, though I've heard the story before, and we were even talking about it here earlier tonight in this very thread, it still got me.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

i suspect they won't see him coming. far too many of them think he's an idiot.

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Hate to say this, but I hope Biden dies, so I can marry his widow.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

You bastard! I've got dibs.

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Sorry, you'll have to wait till I die. Or you will have to kill me.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Tempting…

AlterNewt September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

With votes.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Of course!

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Scranton…I could see Joe ruling the Office.

saggyboobedhag September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

What I love is that some of her students don't even know who her husband is.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm

If I met someone named Biden, I might not assume he/she was a close relative of Joe's.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Compare the Wanker Party convention and this.
Too awesome.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:20 pm

At least that means they are only trickling on each other.

WhatTheHeck September 6, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Damn. Still at work. Missing all the fireworks.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:21 pm

*sniff* Damn sinuses.

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Joe is bringing the SEXXY back to Catholicism.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm

God damn I like that Joe Biden. He seems like a guy I could have ten beers with.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:22 pm

How are they going to make cheesy videos when all the vintage footage is hi-res digital files.

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Couple of interns and Instagram should get the job done.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Naw mang, that's some Spielberg shit right there.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Duh, just use some software to make it look old.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Cheater.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Filters.

mayor_quimby September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Bits rot after a while, it balances out.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

The Biden's had a crazy relative living with them too ! (We had Aunt Vi)

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

My family has a crazy relative living with them too! (Unfortunately, it's me)

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

we had them too!

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Nobody's better than you and you're not better than anyone. Words to live by. But man I hate the GOP.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Who said that? I told you, thats what I said in my dad's eulogy, fuck,, who said that?

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Joe Biden, of course. I remembered your eulogy story, I promise.

Limeylizzie September 6, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I love Handsome Joe, I know I have told this story before, but my mother died when she was 32, I was 8 and my brother was 10 and my dad, God love him, was a terrible parent, really clueless and pretty much neglected us so I have always really felt for Joe who also being left widowed with young children was a wonderful parent., by all accounts, just a really great man.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Sorry 'bout your mom, LL.

Limeylizzie September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

We all survived! It was a very crazy childhood, though. Thanks

ChernobylSoup September 6, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Goofball VP rules!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Now, this middle class video is a NICE way of both acknowledging that lots of people are still suffering economically and that the Dems have a much better plan to carve a path forward…

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Romney's dad made that walk.

Down the hall to the Drawing Room to tell Mitt he needed to go to France for a while.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Anyone who doesn't love Joe Biden after this film is an asshole.

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I'm sure we'll see them assholes all over the place by morning. What a bunch of assholes.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Everytime I hear about Joe Biden losing his first family I want to weep like a baby.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I forgot that story-hearing it again is a reminder of what this man went through and what kind of person he is

saggyboobedhag September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Fruit popsicle in a bowl (mine is acai blueberry but any flavor will do), nuke for 30 seconds. Pour into martini glass with two ice cubes, one ounce of 100 proof vodka. Use stick to stir. Just sayin'

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Sounds like the "trash can punch" they'd serve at mixers in the guy's dorms, except they used Everclear

saggyboobedhag September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

affordable 100 proof vodka at Wash state prices IS everclear.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Are you a fellow Northwesterner?

saggyboobedhag September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Well, after 50 years in the miserable east, I've now lived on Puget Sound for 4 years. Three on Bainbridge and one in Bummertown (so close to PSNS I hear bugle sounds at dawn and dusk)

mayor_quimby September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Sounds delicious. My god kids are gonna love that shit, but they'll be passed out before they can truly enjoy it. Oh well, more for me

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I like Joe Biden because he's just about the only Senator who didn't get richer while in office.

mayor_quimby September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

That took effort, character, or tremendous bad look, but good on him.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

and TRAIN!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

The Democrats go into office to do good. The Republicans go into office so they'll do well.

ChernobylSoup September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Biden/Warren 2016

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Bring on Uncle Joe!

iTuna September 6, 2012 at 9:26 pm

GODDAMMIT JOE QUIT MAKING ME CRY

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

(Hands MittRomney's fine lawn handkerchief to i'Tuna) There, there, dear.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

And he fucking survived brain cancer.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

So, how much is Paul Ryan looking forward to debating Handsome Joe?

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

How much is Boehner looking forward to contracting melanoma?

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Uh huh. I hope that smarmy bastard gets ulcers.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

It's not like he has a choice about THAT, Mike.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

You notice he's taken to wearing brown pants lately?

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I imagine that Rasmussen will have hard time tomorrow lying about how this race is virtually tied in the polls.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

No. No they won't.

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

This.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

And to think, I spent the past few weeks worrying if the Dem convention would work out.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

These people have something called "character". They want to do good, not just do well.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Bock?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"Teachers should be lifted up, not torn down" – take that, Chris Christie!

and "Father of an Iraq war veteran" – take that, Mittens!

OurHoboSenator September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I heard it as "father of an erect war veteran," but I think that was just wishful thinking on my part…

Thurman Munster IV September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Ah for fuck's sake they can't be serious about this drivel

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Say, how many of the Republican ticket's kids have served in Iraq?

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

In the words of Dean Wormer – zero point zero

Arborista September 7, 2012 at 3:36 am

NOTK!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I am LOVING hearing Biden go on about how optimistic he is about America overcoming obstacles. Nice contrast to the doom and gloom crowd last week…

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

joey!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Joey! Joey!

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

we play well together

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I didn't know Joe Biden had died until I saw that video.

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Resurrectol(tm)- for fast, temporary relief of death.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Oh here we go. Come on Joe. F-BOMB! F-BOMB! DOOOO ITTTT! I love you!

AlterNewt September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Did you and Joe want to be alone?

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Are you going to throw your panties on stage?

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

baby, if I wore panties, them thangs would be alllll throwed…

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Touché!

sudsmckenzie September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Fire all the Trans Ams at once, and explode into space!

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

"Michelle, you're on camera! Give him a thumbs-up!"

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

So Joe Boxers will be cool again?

Because that was a knockout,

And we haven't even gotten to the main attraction of the evening.

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Needs less LOVE and more RESPECT.

Oh, and F*CK Chrisco Christy.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Doesn't part of you just want him to come roaring out on stage in his Camero, yellin' "WOOOO?"

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Now we're rolling!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Aw, Jillie… now I'm cryin'

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Hey, Barack just sent me a personal email asking me to kick in 25 bucks! Where does he find the fucking time!?! What a multi-tasker!!!

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

also: pregnant.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

he only asked me to kick in 13.

you must be the 1%.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

I got asked for $65 for the Pres(don't know who asked me) and Senator Barb asked me for $3(???) for Ben Cardin. So I' rich and I'm poor

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Fun fact. Phyllis Schafly and some other conservatives oppose the Violence Against Women Act.

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

That's not fun :(

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:49 am

But it is a fact:

Phyllis Schlafly called the Violence Against Women Act a slush fund “used to fill feminist coffers” and challenged Republicans to oppose this legislation that promotes “divorce, breakup of marriage and hatred of men.”

http://feministing.com/2012/03/19/women-dems-push

Asshole.

glasspusher September 7, 2012 at 1:19 am

Ugh. What a fucking bigot. Self hating woman? WTF?

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

"Look at my wife. Isn't she a piece of ass?"

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

KITTEN?! Swoon. Full. On.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Aw, Joe's tribute to his wife is sweet…

Thurman Munster IV September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Someone's getting blown tonight

rocktonsam September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Joe might be gettin some tonight

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I asked her out FIVE AND A HALF TIMES, ALAN!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

FIVE AND A HALF PROPOSALS! Hee; love Joe's humor.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Darn these ninjas that just snuck in and started slicing onions….

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Your place too? They're everywhere!

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Dusty onions

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

What is it with these loving Democratic couples and their happy marriages? So kinky.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Shouldn't they be hiring hookers to make them wear diapers?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

They must know something that Newt doesn't.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

the love of my life and the life of my love.

i approve and dr jill is one lucky beautiful lady.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

OMG, Joe. "You're the love of my life and the life of my love"

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I've got to remember that. The wife's asleep, so she'll think it's an original.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Joe Biden, National Treasure!

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Bush I, Qualye, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, Joe Biden–VPs of the past 25 years. Who would you want to share a bottle of 12-year-old Scotch with and shoot the shit?
Winner, hands fucking down–Joe Fucking Biden.

imissopus September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Plus Joe doesn't drink, so you get all the Scotch to yourself.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Joe drinks Jameson, I believe.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Joe's a tea totaller. Grew up seeing alcohol problems of adults in his extended family.

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Does he like windowpane?

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Sorry. I slipped the last tab into Chuck Todd's coffee.

He's got about 30 -35 minutes.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

What about Mondale? Old Fritz liked to tip them back, I heard.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Amen.

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I thought Rebecca said the guys at the convention weren’t hot, Joe just oozes sex.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"A mission we will complete"

Yes!

rocktonsam September 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

thank God he didn't say"accomplished."

betcha somebody made sure of that

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

First gaffe, Michelle when you spoke about him last night, er the night before.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

He is an olde, he forgets what day it is!

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

he's an embarrassment to the nation.

imissopus September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Worse. Than. Hitler.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

History's greatest monster!

Maman September 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

God bless Old Handsome Joe

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Sincerity just kind of oozes out of Joe… it is a good ooze.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Rebecca, I am an old, and I can tell you that BEFORE he was veep, Hubert Humphrey was very beloved. Not so much after.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

The Happy Warrior.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

The treacherous, gutless old ward-heeler.

doloras September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

"Hubert the Hump has coughed and hawked
And spat on the street where Lincoln walked…"

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

"Four years ago, the middle class was already losing ground, and then the bottom fell out."

GOOD way to remind everyone that W was fucking up the economy even before the 2008 economic implosion…

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

He's going to pulverize Ryan

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

It's going to be brilliant!

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Absolutely! Must-see TV.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

"Let me tell you about my friend Barack Obama." Joe is flying tonight.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm

"literally," Joe? Oh, my. Another gaffe.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

He must be replaced tonight!

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Get Hillary up there NOW!!!!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

You can't catch the big fish w/out a gaffe.

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Damnit. Still stuck at work and Im missing old handsome joe. Might make it in time for Bamz.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Not the same, of course, but everything goes up on cspan.org real quick…

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

More fun to participate in the live bloggery. Should be done pouring shit beer for slobs soon though.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Way to remind the wingnuts about feet on the desk, Joe!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Pensive Joe is ultra-cool.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

JezusH, BeccaLou, wut kind of time-sense is THIS, man? You SAID 9 o'clock!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Z,I know I told you to come here, but I might fall asleep soon. If so, I love you, and I'll read this thread tomorrow to see how things went. I'm tryin' stay up, tho.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

OH NOEOEOEOES! I can't find you.Sometimes I hate ID.(Hugs you)

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

And here I felt bad missing the first haf-hour or so waiting until 8.

just_a_head September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Michelle is just barely holding it together

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Paul Ryan? Who the hell is Paul Ryan?

DrunkIrishman September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I'm literally picturing Jill Biden nude.

4TheTurnstiles September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

JOE FUCKIN BIDEN.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I assume that "enormity of his heart" is an euphemism?

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Only "heart". The rest is literal.

ShiftyParadigm September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

To answer your question, Ms. Becky — maybe Hubert "The Happy Warrior" Humphrey, who had the same passion about civil rights and the same goofy optimism. Too bad he couldn't bring himself to break with LBJ on Vietnam.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

No, I am not starting to cry again, there is just something in my eye.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

He's not VP material in the GOP universe.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Oh God, this story about Joe's papa having to go away to get work is going to make me cry…

Thurman Munster IV September 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Well Becks. There was Cheney. Agnew Nixon. All beloved veeps by a segment of the whackadoodle world.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Preach it, Joe!

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

"A job is a lot more than a paycheck" — then Joe's crescendo with dignity, and a better life. Contrast with "I like to fire people."

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Why didn't the Republicans feature Staples employees expressing their devotion to their jobs and the Staples mission? (Yeah, I've never met one, either.)

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 12:58 am

That's because they are grossly overworked because the assholes who run Staples are penny pinching jerks who won't hire enough people to provide decent customer service.

And in a related story:

Staples indicates weakness ahead

http://www.retailingtoday.com/article/staples-ind

(Yeah, go ahead, try to blame it on the economy instead of your own inept management, assholes…)

rocktonsam September 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Joe =gaffes

eddie munster=lies

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

goddamned onion-slicing ninjas AGAIN?

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Simultaneous orgasms in row 1…

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 9:41 pm

"He always steps up."

Hell yeah — I was certain no Democratic president was gonna try to tackle healthcare after 1994. Obama has gone after all the difficult shit during his time in office.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Dog forbid, If Obama dies, I'm OK with Joe taking over.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I don't recall the Republicans talk about having actual jobs. (Selling stock to pay for grad school doesn't count.)

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Go Lunchbox Joe!

MilwaukeeKent September 6, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Biden states 4.5 million jobs since taking office, the figure was 4.3 the other night — adding 200k jobs in August? Numbers come out tomorrow, izat hand-tipping Joe?

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I've been hearing 4.5 consistently. The fact checkers are bending over backwards to try to make it a partial truth, by saying that there's still a net loss of jobs since December 2008.

MilwaukeeKent September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Why I always respond with the bikini graph: http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/wp-content/upload

BerkeleyBear September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

The talking point is 4.5 private sector jobs. Which some have shortened to 4.5 million jobs, which is still true, but gives more traction to the claims that this is disingenuous if you look at net numbers. Of course, those nit pickers never say that the net numbers are based on the staggering losses of public sector jobs, never mind that those losses are directly attributable to GOP policies and obstructionism.

So to recap, the GOP wants small government and an expanding private sector, but the fact the economy has shed government jobs (because of their actions) and gained private sector jobs makes Obama an evil socialist tax and spend fascist. And now my rage meter has hit 11.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Again with the auto industry rescue. We're not about to let America forget about that, are we? Good…

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 9:42 pm

HA! BeccaLou. HandsomeOldJoeBiden just copped to being TOTES in love wiv yelly JennyFenny Granholm.

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Yup, saving the USA auto companies is & was A BIG FUCKING DEAL!

MilwaukeeKent September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Despite the tremendous downsizing and all the pain in that, you know Romney would have sold GM and Chrysler for scrap, probably bringing down Ford in the process.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

"Let me tell you about how Barack Obama saved more than a million jobs."

Gather the younguns by the fire, folks, and warm up some cider!

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

And then we decided, fuck that plant in Janesville, Wisconsin.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

retroactively, to 3 months before we took office.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:43 pm

i'm hearing a bit of anthony in this wind up ('so are they all, all honorable men').

"Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot. Take thou what course thou wilt!"

punkneverdies September 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

So is Wonkette officially pro Barry? We need speeches.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Watch C-SPAN. There are some mighty good ones running on that channel.

punkneverdies September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

I can't really take all the pageantry and empty promises. The Democratic party has let me down repetitively.

HELisforHEL September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

And you'll be better with republicans? Clearly you aren't female or brown.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

But he's so much purer, and voting Green to make Romney win will somehow magically make the Democrats go super-left-wing in 2016!

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

or intelligent

punkneverdies September 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

You know just having criticism and cynicism about the empty babbling up on stage is not an endorsement of the Republican Party.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Wonkette might be slightly left of center (hate to speak for anyone but myself) as long as there is an open bar. Lose the booze and we might see some Randian tendencies.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Ha ha, no it's just too much effort to snark reality. You can do the GOP stuff while you are five sheets to the wind and still beat any "real" balanced blog on the planet!

punkneverdies September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Don't get me wrong, as far as I'm concerned it's the party of meh vs. the party of CRAZY. Plus they do hold fast on social issues, I just want to see some economic impact.

They have to try and win the fight, but there's so many with so much in the party that they won't work against their best interests. A real problem.

punkneverdies September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

am I doing something wrong because I have to keep reloading and going to page ten and scrolling to find my post and read the responses and i just can't even rageface

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

"Last Activity" is your friend.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I already told the Boss I wouldn't be in tomorrow. Cough, cough.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Oh I LOVE how Biden is driving home the point that Obama was willing to take a risk to save the auto industry…the undercurrent being "unlike that chicken Mittens"…

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

OK, a correct counterbalancing CORRECT use of "literally." You may leave the corner now.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Biden's eyes are tearing up talking about his da – ya gotta love the Irish.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oh FFS. Let's get to Hopey soon. I'm a sleepy old.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

It's not even ten o'clock yet!

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

It's not even seven o'clock on the west coast!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I know. I'm old, and like to get up early, but imma try to hang in.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:47 pm

It's the bicycling, innit?

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I heard this story at a Chamber of Commerce breakfast, me and maybe 20 people, from another guy who was in the room–the 3rd classiest guy in government, my senator Dick Durbin.

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Mitt Romney grew up in Detroit. Here it comes . . .

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

trans am libel!

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 9:45 pm

This is as good a time as any to recommend, as a great book about the automobile industry, the rust belt and the struggles in Flint when Michael Moore was making Roger and Me – Rivethead, by one of the guys who made a brief appearance in that movie.

Thurman Munster IV September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

He's not a bad guy. He's just a guy who's bad.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

He's really a shithead.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

He's just a big fuckin asshole.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Oh, I love hearing Joe go on about "I'm sure Mitt is a good guy." Flip side of that "we don't hate Obama, we're just disappointed in him" crap from last week…

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Romney saw the auto industry the Bain way – bring it on home now Joe….

keepwalkin September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

WTF? John Kerry?

John Kerry FINALLY comes outta the hospital and puts one theirs in the MORGUE!!@

So Tired September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

kinda late but the quality of the comment more than makes up for it. bravo

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

CEO =/= Commander in Chief. Way to go, Joe…

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

"The Bain way" is not the way to lead the country. BOOM!

Joe just torpedoed Mitt's yacht.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Right outta Cracker Bay!

HELisforHEL September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Nice dig at Bain styled thinking. Go sweet joe.

MilwaukeeKent September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

the not "downsizing the American Dream" ?– yeah, double-punch.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

"Another son of another automobile man…Mitt Romney"

Oh damn. And with that, Mitt's nuts ascend.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:46 pm

The Bain Way will make "your" firm go away. Stop saying they are "good people," they are not. I love you Joe, but we have GOT TO STOP being polite and start face-punching.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

That's just the velvet glove on the iron fist

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I understand the bless your heart talk, but I just do not fundamentally believe Mitt Romney or any of the vultures like him are good. I don't believe it. I think they are evil selfish life destroying monsters.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

"Never do any enemy a small injury for they are like a snake which is half beaten and it will strike back the first chance it gets."

Machiavelli

prommie September 6, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Don't I fucking know it, someday I will tell you why. Its a fucking hoot.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Maybe Mitt is just…well, you know, kinda soulless.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Ripping apart Mitt on his desire to let the auto industry die; awesome.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Because profit. That's the real killer.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Conviction! Resolve! Barack Obama!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

CARBON!

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

ok how the fuck many signs do we need for this convention?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Can't resist…AOTK…

Barrelhse September 6, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I can't wait for the "Hitler Responds to the DNC" meme on You-tube.

BoroPrimorac September 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Good line there, Joe. How would America look to investors if Detroit had gone to shit?

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

""Literally"! Drink, Dok!

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

"Literally" – Drink!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Barack understood that taking out Osama was about revenge – just say it Joe. We will FUCK YOU UP.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

And yep, Obama still got Osama.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

OT — So I'm standing in line at the post office this morning, and ahead of me was an older Black gentlemen wearing a neat "Navy Vets for Obama & Biden" cap who was making some funny snarky remarks about that idiot Todd Akin and his "legitimate rape" remarks to a young lady who hadn't heard abut it. Most of us in line vocally agreed with him or nodded their heads yes. It was a scene out of a Capra movie.

just_a_head September 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Awesome.

MissNancyPriss September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

That's one of the reasons I love the post office.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

And why the GOP will destroy it. They hate that community stuff.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 1:09 am

If you see him again, please thank him for his service to the nation. Oh, and also for being in the Navy.

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Democratic crowd chanting USA USA. Republican heads exploding nationwide.

el_donaldo September 6, 2012 at 9:49 pm

O.K. Hopey just texted me he's coming up, so I'm tuning in to see what he's going to do. I've reached an appropriate gin and tonic level (but if the wife asks, answer "two – he's had two" always). Now to find the least wonky livefeed.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

"If you murder innocent Americans, we will follow you to the ends of the earth."

And then we will shoot you in the eye in front of your wife and kids. Don't forget that part, Joe.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Wives and kids.

Self-Uploader September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

It's the Chicago way.

vulpes82 September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

U!S!A! U!S!A! U!S!A! (BTW, I honestly don't know the ratio of snark-to-serious in that.)

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Oh, you KNOW the Reeps are going to start going off and accusing us of politicizing getting OBL. Can't wait to hear the rants…

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

OK, for half a second there I thought that killing Bin Laden was about US autoworkers too…

Barbara_ September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Chico Tweeted:
General Motors is alive & Sarah Palin's political career is dead. #DNC2012

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Love you, girlfriend!

Barbara_ September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Loving you back! Good to see you, as always.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Yay again!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

The finest warriors in the history of the world? Joe, the Gurkhas might be ringing you up a little later.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

The Romans might have something to say.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

As may the Golden Horde

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

And the Achaemenid Persian army.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Ooooo I got chicken skin listening to this – justice was done!

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Smashmouth DNC. Bring it, mofos! Yes, we built this.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

"He said "Do it!" and justice was done!"

Oh yes!

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

A little late to the party, but how was that Jennifer Granholm? Jenny from the Block FTW. She is the still the governess of my heart, fuck you Rick "Tough Nerd" Snyder.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

fiery! good!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Almost everyone has been great tonight; the only real dud was the Montana Governor.

AnAmericanInTO September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I'm sure Ed Schultz was a fan.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Since the other contender for worst speaker of the convention was the Maryland Governor O'Malley on Tuesday, I'd say it's a problem with old white dudes, but then Biden is knocking it out of the park, and reportedly Clinton did too.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm

And he was only very good.

OurHoboSenator September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

May she someday be our first Canadian President

trampndirtdown September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

She fuckin killed it.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 1:11 am

JFC I am in love with that woman. Please, Michigan, send her to the Senate or something. And I hope she has several relatives who take after her who are also interested in running for office…

Negropolis September 7, 2012 at 1:17 am

She has two college-aged daughters.

There has always been talk that she'll run for Levin's seat if he ever decides to step down. It's good she's out of the state, at the moment, though. She had to deal with a legislature that hated her guts. Even her Democratic Spaker of the House back in 2006 didn't respect her, and basically ignored her. There was a lot of sexism directed at her being our first female governor in all. Her time here reminds me of what Obama has had to deal with. Basically, you grind government to a halt, and than blame all that you have obstructed on the governor.

Gawd, you do not know how hard she tried. But, it's because of her that our economy is diversified enough, now, that we have a footing from which to build on. She was the first government that made the very hard choice to look beyond the auto industry, solely, for our economic future. And, now, Governor Snyder is taking credit for shit she started.

DustBowlBlues September 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Wow. Joey is bringing down the house, isn't he? What's remaining after Gov. Granholm finished her speech.

Tonight is making this old girl feel high on life!

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I once was an innocent kit
wotthehell wotthehell
with a ribbon my neck to fit
and bells tied onto it
o wotthehell wotthehell
but a maltese cat came by
with a come hither look in his eye
and a song that soared to the sky
and wotthehell wotthehell
and i followed adown the street
the pad of his rhythmical feet
o permit me again to repeat
wotthehell wotthehell

my youth i shall never forget
but there s nothing i really regret
wotthehell wotthehell
there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai

–"the song of mehitabel"

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I believe this is called "cashing in."

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Velvet Shiv is my new roller derby team name.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I love derby girl names.

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Checks and balances says $1B for 1 dead guy is not a good investment.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Doesn't contribute to the bottom line.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

This is a Jed Bartlett level of oratory!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Getting a little too GOP for my taste. But it'll sway a few on "The Undecided". Or "The Idiots", as I like to call them.

Damn! Mom. What next? Apple Pie?

mavenmaven September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

..and a smile on his face… Biden is killing it!!! Hooray!

iburl September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

The wound in my heart was healed by a bullet and a burial at sea. – Jesus H. Biden

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Osama dead, GM alive.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive!

Say it, Joe, again and again!

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

i think this is a better convention than the republican convention.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

"think"?

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Let's not get carried away.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I am interested in these ideas and would like to hear more. Is there a brochure?

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Yes, in the same sense that the Sun is brighter than the inside of a cat at the bottom of a coal mine at midnight.

iburl September 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

i think water is more thirst-quenching than sand.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I guess we're the war party now…

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm
Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive.

Good point, bears repeating

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Jeebus, that robot Mittens, Scowly Ryan & all their boring BS, & all this humaness all over the place here. Vote Human!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

"They didn't have the courage to tell you what call they'd make." Sweet.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

And the linkage of the auto industry to getting OBL is genius, BTW…

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

You read my mind, brilliant!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Here's to you Mrs Robinson –

Thank you!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Woo woo woo.

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Gotta lerve the First Granny!

iTuna September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Michelle Obama's mom seems rad as hell.

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Paul Ryan said he grew up reading Ayn Rand, and that her books taught him about his value system and beliefs. Ryan has disputed that admission quite often and now distances himself from Rand. We can now identify that–Atlas Shrugged–as Ryan's gateway drug to his addiction to republican controls and power.
I'm not sure if Joe Biden had a gateway drug to Democracy and tolerance, but if he did, he wouldn't fucking lie about it.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

…and yet, Ryan wants you to think he's a strong Catholic. Rand and Catholicism are pretty close to opposite of each other.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

OBL is dead and GM is alive? Wooohooo … the wingnut blowhards at Faux are already busting an artery. Joe better be wearing his Nomex tomorrow.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

"Vouchercare…that's not courage…that's not even truthful"

Love him!

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

joe and the hunting of the snark.

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

"Now back in Scranton, where I come from, we'd have called the Republicans a bunch of pussies. And then knocked them on their asses."

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I like watching folks that can speak for more than 3 minutes and keep me riveted.

Simpson-Bowles still sucks!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Is it just going to be the wrong thread? I just hope all these comments don't break IntenseDebate like we did the night of Mittens' speech.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

1100 comments, and Hopey hasn't even come on yet.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

And now I see again I made a stupid mistake, yet can't correct it because there's a reply! Feeling dumb now.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Time for some red meat–rip Romney/Ryan and all the GOP at Tampa convention. Go for it, Joe.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm

JFC I am all over Joe calling the Reeps a bunch of chickenshit liars…

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm

i predict there will be whining on the right tomorrow.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

You are just Captain Obvious, tonight, aren't you? lol

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Well, it will be a day, so of course.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Romney hates Amurica!

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Gonna have to be a foreign trip! LMAO!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

"Romney said he would take a jobs tour. But with his support for outsourcing, it's gonna have to be a foreign trip"

Love it!

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

It will require the same passport as his money.

mavenmaven September 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

It'll have to be a foreign trip! excellent!

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I'm finally home and well groomed, just in time for my impregnation! And yes, I'm quaffing.

PS – Editrix, thanks for the video!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Meh,

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I love Joe Biden scripted, unscripted, drunk, and naked. I'd hug Joe Biden naked and kiss him on the mouth and you know what, motherfuckers? It would be totes manly, because Joe Biden.

Edit: And for the gay guys in the room, you would too and you know exactly what I mean, even though you might get a little wood.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

What? Is Joe saying that our national interest might have something to do with taking care of our citizens?

Fuckin' Commie!

just_a_head September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Pinko. No doubt.

HELisforHEL September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Hahaha 'foreign trip' line. The whiskey's talking now, ahh Joe, I wanna pour him a Jameson's. Shit, I think I'll pour me one.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I'm joining you. Only it's Rum, because I'm living on the Gulf.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

A martooni here

prommie September 6, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Aw fuck, now I gotta pour me one!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

"Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive."

I've been watching politics for a long time. In all honesty I can not believe that the Republicans totally threw away this meme. Political memes don't get any more powerful than this.

What were they thinking?

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

When Joe chanted this with the crowd in downtown Detroit on Labor Day, they nearly fainted from excitement.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

And a quick glance at the comments from the haters on HuffyPo confirms that Joe is on a roll tonight…sorry, trolls, you've got nothing on this man…

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

can't keep up?

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

We are all immigrants tonight!
Fathers for daughters!

does that sound weird?

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

What's she look like?

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

I thought the Republicans were the Culture of Depends.

OurHoboSenator September 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

David Vitter Libel!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

"Working class"? Drink!

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 10:00 pm

"…every father's bottom line." Family values.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I flashed on my old man holding a belt when he said that.

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

K-Lo doesn't require equal pay and neither should you!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Hell ,she doesn't deserve it.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

It LITERALLY amazes me that they don't understand why working together as a nation for all our citizens does not create a culture of dependency like making sure people have nothing does, too Joe, it really does.

redarmyzombie September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Oh! Oh! Oh, Biden, don't stop! Don't STOP!!!

redarmyzombie September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Oh! Oh! Oh…

Ahhh, shit, my pants are STILL missing…

Fukui-sanYesOta September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Yow, Biden invokes America-Number-One-Pander-Express and the crowd LOVES IT!

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

"there's just one more thing I can't understand…" is how Columbo traditionally introduces the coup de grace

redarmyzombie September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

""Oh, uh, one more thing…"

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Nice. After Obama's sweaty speech and postcoital smoke Imma gonna hafta watch some Peter Falk.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 10:32 pm

When I did useta haveta go to court, I always played the Peter Falk, "Gee, can you just explain to me, maybe I didn't get it. . . ."

Chet Kincaid_ September 7, 2012 at 12:06 am

Why did they never do a Columbo vs. Matlock crossover while they were still alive?!

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

"You didn't give up — you got up." Yeeeeha!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Stand up, get up, stand up for your rights!

Gil Scott Heron

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Requiescat in pace, Gil.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 1:39 am

What, no link?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7iXcKKpdx0

(I like the live version, myself…)

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

"You didn't lose faith, you got up…and you deserve a president who will never quit on you!"

Fuck the haters–go Joe!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Literally!
Drink!

iTuna September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Goddamn. Who's excited for the Biden/Ryan debate?

Fukui-sanYesOta September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Hell yeah. Joe the Biden is going to marmalize him.

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

That GD Scowling bastard is going to get so much fairy dust & facts thrown at him he won't know what hit him!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Hopefully, Ryan will breakdown and cry. Or faint. Either would be fine.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Or challenge Joe to a push-up contest. And lose.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 1:39 am

Fired up! Ready to snark!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

God knows, I lost a ton of $$ in the miracle of the Bush economy.

natl_indecency_cmdr September 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Joey referencing what his dad said "You get back up."

trampndirtdown September 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Ryan's gonna have a sad when they lose Wisconsin, let's hope Zerban can take his seat as well.

natl_indecency_cmdr September 6, 2012 at 10:22 pm

me, the day ryan was selected "that guy's a jackass"

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Nice twist of the knife, nailing the Republicans on betting against America.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Yeah, wave your finger and school 'em, Uncle Joe!!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

"It's never been a good bet to bet against the American people–never!"

"And we have no intention of downsizing the American dream!"

Tell 'em, Joe!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I don't know WHICH way we're going!!!??!!

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 1:40 am

Forward.

HELisforHEL September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

"no intent of downsizing the American dream" good line.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

"No intention of downsizing the American dream." Now he's just stomping on Mitt's bloody corpse.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 10:03 pm

"No intention of downsizing the American dream." Damn that rings.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"Downsizing the American Dream" – awesome soundbite.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Don't regret a tab of acid, Rebecca — especially now when the good shit's so hard to find.

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

This may have been said already, but to quote Wesley Snipes, "Always bet on black."

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Damn! That's what I've doing wrong. I always put my money on green.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

After these speeches, if anyone truly believes that the Republican Party is a minstream party, they will have to have their heads checked.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"Promote the private sector, not the privileged sector." Ouch!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Ya gotta love his fuckin' extemporaneous speech – I love ya Joe

magic_titty September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Anyone else as impressed as I am…with the ability of Joe's plugs to stay in place?

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I bet he'll be doing some pluggin' later tonight…

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"…promote the private sector, not the privileged sector"

THIS.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Now THAT'S a bumper sticker.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I've never watched Handsome Joe speak so closely before. He is Hell on wheels.

Also: This is the most Patriotic and the least Nationalistic convention that I've ever seen.

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Ok I’m ready to march on Canada, who’s with me?

Terry September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Winter's coming. How about we raise a flotilla and take on the Bahamas or maybe the British Virgin Islands instead.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:42 pm

With drinks wiv little floaty brollies and stuff?

ChernobylSoup September 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Geneva Convention states that armies invading Canada are limited to 4 wonkettes, a nurse, and 3 brew masters.

kittensdontlie September 6, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I'm in! And why are we doing this???

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Um, the beer?

viennawoods13 September 6, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Just bring Obama with you. We don't have anyone as cool as he is.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

If we really wanted to go with this level playing field stuff, we'g remit all inheritances to the gov't and make everybody start at zero. Wouldn't that be interesting.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I'm inheriting an electric roaster and some Hummels. You'll have to pry them from my cold dead hands.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Does that include the sour cream glasses from the 60s?

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Tonight, we are all a big fucking deal.

Chow Yun Flat September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

"Private Sector, not the Privileged Sector"

Joe kicks out the jams. Amazing speech.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

"Private sector not privileged sector." Kick 'em again Joe.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Women control their own healthcare? That's crazy talk!

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

The Future, Conan?

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

The only compliment Ryan gave Mitt was to make fun of the elevator music on his iPod.

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I wish this was HBO so he could fucking cuss.

el_donaldo September 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

You go, Michelle, clapping proud, clapping fine.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Game fuckin' over. It's a wrap. Real people solving real problems in real time. Period. This ain't no joke; this is real.

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Mentions exact figures of dead and wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan. Republican heads explode again.

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Because he actually checks the numbers, and knows them. Repubs don't know the price of milk.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

No that would be figurative.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Man, if there isn't a new thread before the main attraction, the page-numbers may run out of space.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Stop crying Joe and introduce Bamz

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm

The journey of hope is not yet finished, but we are on our way.
YES!!!

Veritas78 September 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm

This is a man who believes in what he is trying to do. That's an inspiration to anyone and everyone.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I know I'll be like the 38th person to say this, but that was a big fucking deal…

miss_grundy September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Yes, he is a big fucking deal! Dang, these people are fired up.

I just need someone to tell whiny David Brooks to shut up. He really is getting whiner by the moment.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

CSPAN!

Terry September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

He doesn't have much left he can do but whine

trampndirtdown September 6, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Can't be said enough Cally.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Joe's getting some tonight!

I'll bet Willard ain't.

rocktonsam September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Willard ain't getting'"it" at all

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

He'll get plenty on his next planet.

miss_grundy September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

It's a shame Mittster is a Mormon because he should be seriously drinking…

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Chris Matthews lovin him some Joe Biden.

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I'd contribute a hundred bucks immediately if Joe went and tracked down Ryan somewhere, like in the halls of Congress, and kicked him square in the nuts. That would be really cool.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I'm guessing that he's planning on doing that gratis.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Literally.

miss_grundy September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Hopefully, on November 7th. And I hope he adds a bitch slap to it.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

i'd give 10,000.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

A look straight in Ryan's eye, then a punch square to the jaw

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 10:36 pm

You're presuming facts not in evidence, namely that Ryan has any nuts to be kicked.

Callyson September 7, 2012 at 1:43 am

$100? Fuck, I''d kick in $1000: that's what cash advances are for. What's a 29% interest rate compared to something utterly priceless?

BoroPrimorac September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

My mom must be fappin' right about now.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Julian?

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:09 pm

this is the conviction that we need. why the hell don't we see more of this?

these three days have been amazing.

iTuna September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Hell of a barnburner there from Joe.

BeefHardcake September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Holy fuckin' shit. Biden setting that place on FIRE, he is.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Gotta pour a fresh drink, pre-Bamz.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

At times clunky and soaring — but always sincere. I know the Republicans are going to grab hold of that "the job is not finished" or whatever bit at the end, but Joe's sincerity when talking about the troops and their sacrifice, and the real courage of President Obama's choices and decisions really rang wonderfully.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I hope Joe didn't get me preggers before obama has a chance.

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Dick Durbin = Plan B

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Two words: Dizygotic twins. Two eggs are released and one is fertilized by O and the other by Joe.

kittensdontlie September 6, 2012 at 10:42 pm

And don't turn on the teevee tommorrow, any view of Mitthead or Sh*tface(Ryan) would work like a morning-after pill on your lady parts.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

but you know, joe. dumb. paul ryan. smart.

Zango Crudmonger September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I like this meme. Lemme give it a go. obama. sexy. mitt romney. evil fucking tosser.

How'd I do?

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Zach Carter ‏@zachdcarter

FACTCHECK: Romney did not bet against the American people. He took a short position in a synthetic credit default swap. #dnc2012

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Alright, here comes the headliner.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Dick Durbin?

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Zell Miller

Spurning Beer September 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Foo Fighters!

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Will they play Freebird?

trampndirtdown September 6, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Even they can't make that song not suck.

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Our lovable, flawed, but mostly HUMAN American Hero, Joe! Did you know Joe has an Einstein level IQ? But, the most important quality Joe has is his Emotional, HUMAN IQ!

iTuna September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Nothing like Dick Durbin to calm things down.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:12 pm

That smiling bastard always has creeped me out.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

dick durbin is a rather unsung warrior i always think.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Dick Durbin comes to my little local chamber of commerce every year and talks to us like grownups. No security, first names on the name tags, one-on-one and looks you in the eye. This is the guy who made me a Democrat.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

HA! me too. he's been my senator for as long as i can remember.

which is a long time….

HELisforHEL September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Hee, Chris Mathews re: Joe "he's the schmaltzy brother who always sings at the weddings" hahaha Our Joe.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Never regret the acid.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 6, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Words to live by.

Spurning Beer September 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Never be ant-acid.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

True story: in 1998 I met this skinny black guy touring the music school I worked at. He was some sort of elected local official and he had a funny name. I just sat at my desk and said, yeah, uh, whatever, gotta a lotta work to do here.

Slowly pounds head against wall.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

At least you are not a Republican.

Are you?

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Last I checked I was the last person on the planet who regretted the end of communism.

so short answer- no.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I met him back when he was running for State Senate, as I was a college student at U of C; voted for him in my very first election. He was awesome back then.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Rebecca, can we have a new thread please?

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I second this motion.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Your wish has been granted!

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Huzzah!

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Oh HELL no, we're going for the record!

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Forward!

rocktonsam September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

shes probably drunk now or macking with Handsome Joe right now probably

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

thanks. i can't keep up with all of you on page 13.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Pretty please?

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Just got home. Why is Bob Scheifer on during Barrys intro? WTF?

el_donaldo September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

If I ever speak at a convention, I want the Prince intro, too.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act FTW!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I was hoping Rep. Raul Grijalva might speak tonight, but I guess they used up their moustache quota yesterday.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

New thread is up, kids!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Now if only comments worked properly on it!

DustBowlBlues September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I've got to start shutting things down before Hopey speaks. Someoone let me know tomorrow how it went tonight. Is the DVR copy of the speech worth watching?

Nite, all. (I didn't call you potty-mouther losers nor did I say "Later, losers."
You're welome!

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I wonder if Romney is watching. If so, he's probably crying like a little girl.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

He has servants to do that for him.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Hey!

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Hiiiiiii!

kittensdontlie September 6, 2012 at 10:32 pm

I guess so. Even without a heart, the Tin Man was able to cry.

MittBorg September 6, 2012 at 10:37 pm

He claims he didn't watch anything so far. If he watched this, he's not just crying, he's shitting blood.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 10:14 pm

No Barney Frank? Did I miss this?? I do love me some Barney Frank

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I want to murder all these fuckers so I can hear what Dick Durbin is saying.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

"..and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!"

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Oh jeez. Clooney is narrating. That sound you hear, American men, is American women fapping.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Sorry about the noise, but I can't find a quieter vibrator that gets the job done…

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Menage a trois. You, George and Barry.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:29 pm

People are still fans of his work in The Facts of Life?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:18 pm

DAYUM the Dems are pushing the auto rescue.

The Reeps are going to start shouting "it wasn't a rescue, it was a bailout! Bailout! BAILOUT!!!" just to try to detract from it…

coolhandnuke September 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Not the sagest choice–Dick Durbin to deflate the room.
New Rule: Let the GOP prance out their cavalcade of Dicks.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm

New lead story on Wonkette's home page. See you all there.

HELisforHEL September 6, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Balls having the idiots demonstrating against the healthcare bill, proving his mettle.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Let's see if O can top Joe.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 10:24 pm

So, is Obama going to step down and give the nomination to Hillary just to mess with Dick Morris?

iburl September 6, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Dick Morris writes slash fiction about Obama and Hillary's toes.

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Ya know, I'm hetero, but I want to fuck that man. In a nice smooth Al Green/Barry White kind of way.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 10:26 pm

They shoulda had the Dropkick Murphys play Biden out onto the stage.
Irish fucking scorn is the deepest scorn there is.

cromiller September 6, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Too right!

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 10:26 pm

He accepts the nomination!!!

BathroomGoblin September 6, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Inhaling extra deep for Barry.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 10:28 pm

I don't remember people randomly shouting "I love you Mitt!" at the GOP Convention.

MissNancyPriss September 6, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Haha, that would be INSANE

CheeseBro69 September 6, 2012 at 10:33 pm

"Everyone plays by the same rules from main street to wall street" *coughs* bullshit! *coughs*

iburl September 6, 2012 at 10:34 pm

torturers ahem cough

MilwaukeeKent September 6, 2012 at 10:35 pm

The GOP really is like an imploring junkie on the tax cut issue. Just one more fix, "Just one more tax cut, I swear, I'll create jobs tomorrow! This is the last time, I mean it."

BaldarTFlagass September 6, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I wonder if everyone's hands are getting sore from all that clapping yet.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Where in Kenya is this "America" he keeps talking about?

iburl September 6, 2012 at 10:42 pm

The Anti-colonial Mao Mao areas.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Barry is pro-science, yay!

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:47 pm

i really like the math and science teachers bit.

thingee. positive.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm

"Further commenting on this page has been disabled by the blog admin. " – Uh-oh, it looks like the new thread has still broken the internet.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Oh good — I thought it was just my internet that was broken.

finallyhappy September 6, 2012 at 10:51 pm

yeah, I thought it was my fault

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Same here, then there were a few comments talking about the thread fucking up, then there were no new ones. It's not just you!

Fukui-sanYesOta September 6, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I think our Editrix is having acid-flashback blog maintenance problems.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 10:50 pm

The mice running the wheels that feed the servers at Wonkeritaville must be nearly exhausted.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 10:44 pm

"Americans who served in harms way." I'm assuming he is talking about bankers?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 10:45 pm

How dare Obama be so anti-American so as to talk about the troops. You would never catch the Republican Candidate doing that.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:46 pm

we broke the wonkettes.

i guess we were fated to be on this page all along.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Let's do the time warp again!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at