Everybody get your fine illegal Communist rum and your fine illegal Windowpane, and meet us back here just in time for the tribute to Old Handsome Joe Biden, and then Barry making love to you again like it is the first time. So like just before nine, like that! You don’t need a blow-by-blow of every note out of Mary J. Blige’s mouth. Just come back, whatever, we’ll see you then unless we see you first!
7:16 PM — OK guess we are starting early since Joe is straight up blubbering like a a drunken Irish John Boehner. God bless that sentimental son of a bitch.
We are not at the convention because live blooging is impossible when you can’t pause or rewind, and also we are not at the convention because we are never leaving the house again, because OLD AND TIRED. So old. So tired. But at least our eyeballs have stopped crackling, so that is a plus!
7:40 PM — Hot chick Naomi Bulochnikov from Current TV tweets this picture of Gabby Giffords getting ready for the Pledge. Everybody cry now, so you won’t have to later!
7:44 PM — OK, we will say it: the (male) talent at this convention has been piss-poor. We might have made out with the dude we did the acid with last night if he didn’t have a giant herpe on his mouth, but that would have purely been desperation. But the women? MY GOD THE WOMEN. All the women here look like Kerry Washington, swear to fucking God.
7:53 PM — Well, Scarlett Johansson is no Kerry Washington, is she? Bless her dumb lil bunny heart.
7:54 PM — The old gays gave the old folks of color a run for their money in the Dance to Earth Wind and Fire Contest. In fact — we think they MIGHT HAVE WON!
7:58 PM — Hey cryers. How’s your crying? Doing some crying, with your eyeballs and such, of tears? How about now? Liar.
8:01 PM — Whew, thank God they have brought Caroline Kennedy out to dry everyone’s eyes with just her personality. (BECAUSE SHE IS BORING.)
8:12 PM — Here you go, BigSkullFuckingDog, here is the Gabby video you missed while you were getting your hair did. (Definitely don’t watch Caroline Kennedy, yargh.)
5:17 PM — This is fun, this yelly thing Jennifer Granholm is doing like she is a cattle auctioneer. SAY MORE NUMBERS!
HAHA, who will be the first wingnut blog to compare her to Hitler’s impassioned speechifying style? Our money is on Daily Caller.
8:25 PM — SI SE PUEDE! Eva Longoria, when did you stop being an asshole who clocks valets and shit and start being so frigging menschy?
8:36 PM — Right, sorry, wasn’t paying attention for a sec. Apparently our gay husband Charlie Crist is on the teevee, making eyes at us. AND HOLY S TO YOU TOO!
8:50 PM — John Kerry is calling Mitt Romney out for being for it before he was against it. Now we just need ladies with Purple Heart Band-Aids please!
And now Commie Mom will be dusting off the Tiger Beat poster of John Kerry she liked to kiss before going to sleep. John Kerry is going AFTER every Republican, like Barney Frank calling that lady a table. Just slaughtering. And not explaining even one of his jokes!
Here is your blast from the past. Get ANGRY, Wonkers! ANGRY LIKE JOHN KERRY, AND HIS FLAMING SWORD OF JUSTICE!
9:10 PM — Ok, can someone please clip the old black dude on Cspan getting all funky with the U!S!A! and trying out a little something new with it?
9:14 PM — Pfft, oh, Jill Biden’s a “teacher.” What has a teacher ever done for anyone, really? Maybe she should try being something honorable, like “mom.”
9:16 PM — Well, the war in Iraq is sort of over, if you don’t count the rest of the war in Iraq. But let us not be picky. Let us sing John & Yoko songs!
9:19 PM — STOP CRYING PUSSIES.
9:20 PM — Scranton, chug a Mickey’s Big Mouth.
9:22 PM — This commercial is too commercialy. Cranky Face!
9:30 PM — Real question, for the Olds, who have seen stuff. Has any veep ever been beloved like our Old Handsome Joe Biden?
No one can pledge public love like a fuckin’ Scrantoner, apparently. “Jilly, you’re the love of my life and the life of my love.” WE ARE SORRY, but Barack is a little too Vulcany to eyefuck his wife in public like that, and you know Michelle is a little pissed about it.
9:44 PM — FOUL! FOUL! NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT DEAD DADS, EVEN WHEN THEY ARE YOUR OWN. Sorry, dude, #RomneyRulez!
9:46 PM — And Joe with the velvet shiv for a man who doesn’t understand how to be an American. But you know, not mean! Joe loves Mitt Romney, thinks he’s a great guy! Except for how he is a Kenyan Marxist Socialist Anti-Colonialist Who Hates Cars And America. Just except for that!
9:53 PM — This is fine and all, but we don’t love Joey scripted like we love Joey just shooting off his Purty Mouth of Kindness. Remember the NAACP speech, when they booed him for saying he was gonna wrap up soon? Like that! (SORRY, DON’T HIT US.)
10:01 PM — OK, we take it back, and for the first time tonight are REALLY regretting the tab of acid we took last night that made us decide to stay home all day and forever and not be in the hall, we suck forever, teh end.
{ 1556 comments }
"Rum and windowpane, mud in your eye. Baby do I feel high, oh me, oh my.."
long lost last Jerry tune?
If you want to touch the sky…
I look forward to seeing lots of new baby democrats next summer.
"If I had a son, it'd look a lot like…the one you just had."
Do you not realize you're talking about Democratic women? You know all we do is have sex then get abortions.
Shut your mouth! Thank Jebus for my birth control pills, while they're still legal.
Rebecca live-blogging Papa Joe Biden–sounds dirty. Hope so. Will check back after many beers.
And by the way, "God bless that sentimental son of a bitch."
….and, "straight up blubbering like a a drunken Irish John Boehner".
What the hell?
Beccs should quit with the acid and leave Joey alone. I love Joey…. but not in the biblical sense of course, since I'm hetero through and through. And if I grow old and look as handsome as he does I'll be a happy puppy…. hell, I might, scrub that, would fuck his wife with a little more than my eyes, if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge.
What were we talking about again?
Farrelly Brothers Libel!
(takes swig of diet tonic water, hits F5… waits)
Has fewer calories than regular tonic water?
No sugar. For the diabeetus.
You'd be amazed how much sugar is in American "tonic".
I didn't know that tonic water had sugar. I thought it had quinine?
That too, also this is something I just learned. It's florescent.
Driving down the road, refreshing my phone, mainlining Wonkette while I steer with my knees.
Hey! We need your vote! Don't go dyin' on us now!
Mr. YouBetcha doesn't love Barry the way I do, but he knows he'll get some later.
As long as no one sweats in my earholes, I'm ok with that.
If Barry O sings, I'll cream in my jeans
That's why you should only read Wonkette with no pants on.
Wait, you mean there are people reading teh Wokette with their pants on?
I'm waiting for his Barry White impression.
But it's Romney that's trying to convey that "I'll Do For You Anything You Want Me To". On the other hand, Barack clearly is "Qualified to Satisfy You"
Remember this little ditty by Rmoney? http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=mitt+romney+s…
Yes, despite my best efforts.
Oh hell no–not going there. Still feeling the trauma from hearing that the first time around…
He's going to bring out Sandra Fluke, sit her down in a chair, and sing "If I Was Your Girlfriend."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpPnv9eybQY
I'm going to wear my aviator shades while watching the Joe Biden tribute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YW-n3lBAks
Shooter Jennings gets it…
Randolph USA or nutin.
Biden speech: "Hi assholes! I mean Americans…same shit!! Just kidding! As for Romney, he can fuck himself with Lindsey Grahams's dildo. No. I kid. God Bless. Good night!"
Ha, ha, ha!
I heart you, Pinche!
(But you'll always be Trejo to me.)
I''ll reboot my Trejo avatar after Machete II .
Try the veal, it's a big fucking deal!
Still more likely to win my vote than Ryan's liefest.
Epic, Pinchy. I so needed that hearty laugh.
COTD!
Thx!!
I hope that, at the end of Bamz's speech, they bring out Mary J. Blige, Toni Braxton, New Edition, Karyn White, Babyface, Guy, Al B. Sure!, Bell Biv DeVoe, Johnny Gill, Tony! Toni! Toné!, and Pebbles and everyone joins in a rousing rendition of "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd. That would be SO FUCKING AWESOME.
Your odds are much better with this week's convention…
The best the Republicans could have hoped for was Chuck Norris and Victoria Jackson duetting on "You Light Up My Life."
Drudge Sirens! "Ribfest Explodes At Democrat Gang Summit"
Ghost Whitney Houston can come, too, with Invisible Obama.
Thanks, but I don't want to get pregnant.
See, I'm ahead of the game. I had a vasectomy twenty years ago, so I'm safe from Bamz.
Mm, I don't think you understand his potency. All his staffers wear triple layers of latex gloves just in case he fist-bumps them.
I took 4 birth control pills this morning in anticipation. I'm ready!
Slut! And now we have to video our lovemaking and send it to Rush.
What does Geddy Lee have to do with any of this?
I purposefully left off the last name to open up this reference, and can't believe it took this long for someone to make it.
Plus, you could always just head down to the abortionplex if things go wrong.
Slut!
Because of you my premiums increased 6x, and I don't even have health insurance.
We'll see if you do or do not. Your lady parts will shut that whole thing down if you really don't want to be pregnant, legitimately.
My ladyparts are kept in a different body…
Jesus doesn't care what you want.
Man, ain't that the truth?
Jesus's followers don't seem to either.
Yo! Chet Kincaid! Mary J Blige, blow by blow, buddy you GOTTA be here with me even if we have to do that part without Ms Becca…
I'm here for ya, Ms. Effie May South!
A-fucking-hem. Excuse me, just needed to clear my throat.
Well I'll be damned.
What's up? Was off enjoying the Biden and Obama speeches with my lovely wife. Did you guys keep the party goin' without me?
Proms didn't watch, but he did come to play, so you are excused for your serious contemplation of them talking thangs (they were great!) with your bride. Godspeed! And Goodnight!
OH, SHIT! I forgot Keith! I was trying to remember who was on the New Jack mix I play incessantly in the car. SORRY, KEITH!
Hey don't forget Queen Latifah – one of the best songs on the soundtrack, IMO.
That lineup would give Andy Partridge permanent stagefright, I'll give you that!
Thank you for noticing. As for Andy, it would not surprise me if he was as much of a DIRTY LIBERAL as we are.
Obama wants farmboys to be able to feed love on their wages again!!
"Do Obama speeches cure your Editor's hangover? Tune in at 9"
Lookin' forward to watching big Joe B. at 6:30 PDT – I worked on his first ever campaign for Senate in Del.as a student at U of D when he was 29 (turned the legal 30 after election, before swearing-in). Nobody gave him a chance then and they continue to underestimate him now. Fuck them.
I want to hug you by one degree of Biden. I love that man, thanks for helping him get his start.
It was a bittersweet time – he was sworn in in his sons' hospital room where they were recovering from the terrible car wreck that killed Joe's wife and daughter.
Wow. That's really sad.
Then he had a brain tumor.
Oh yeah, that was sad as shit. Two important things to remember about Joe is that he had the lowest net worth of the Senate, with just his salary instead of a fortune in stocks or inherited wealth like most of the rest have, and he was a single father for a long time. He gets the struggles of normal people more than most of our politicians do.
Thank you for that! Joe is the real deal. I remember when he and Obama were running in 2008 and he'd taken a load of stuff to the dump in his white pickup. A reporter asked him how it went and no lie, Joe said, "It was a good dump."
I c an attest to being one of thousands of people who screwed up by underestimating Joe Biden.
My mom worked on that campaign, too (and she worked at UD as a bookkeeper, coincidence? Haha). He was kind, funny, genuine. And nice to a stupid little kid (me) who tagged along at meetings. We love him, he's 'crazy uncle joe' and I mean that in the best way. GO Joe!
I am tripping balls with you in spirit.
Oh my god, I'm pregnant just from looking at that picture!
I heard your comment in Dr. Zoidberg's voice, and I believed it.
And unlike last week's convention I can watch this without the aid of alcohol; awesome.
But….<sniffs>……why?
I had to detox after the Gopper fest. Long beyond the grape and grain, I had to substitute pills for booze. Every time I heard "We built it" another Xanax. Each time I heard "failed policies," another Paxil. It took four days of the shakes and two days of joy to set me up for the Bammer.
Sounds a little like the regimen I was following when I passed out on the kitchen floor, in a puddle of very warm milk where I lay for a few minutes. When I came to, I was in a puddle of sticky, cold milk and had a big bump on the back of my head from where I fell on the tile floor.
BTW, Kids, Ancien R. and I are sharing the above (sadly, with no exaggeration in my story) stories because we want you to understand this: STAY IN SCHOOL AND DON'T USE DRUGS.
BTW–Remember Tom Joad.
Although, just because you can doesn't mean you should. Just alter the type (maybe) and quantity (probably) to enhance the enjoyment, instead of diminish the suffering.
My liver also sends a thank you note to the DNC.
The poor R-Livers will be the ones feeling the pain tonight, and how my crocodile tears will flow for them.
"Have you ever seen a [DNC] on weeeeeed?"
Do we all meet at the drive-through AbortionPlex next week?
slut.
sho videoz.
The gubbmint wouldn't pay for my Whore Pillz.
I for one am planning to get pregnant as soon as possible (instantly, if possible) after my next abortion.
For Amercia.
I can't wait to see if Barry can out-speechify the missus and the Big Dog.
Wait, wut? Oooooh, you mean another big dog. Nevermind.
But, honey, you are the BigSkullF*ckingDog and there's no one else like you. Anywhere.
Mom?
"I'm from Milwaukee, and I oughta know…"
If you remember that you stay old already.
"Blatz is* Milwaukee's fiiinest beer".
* was never**
** did have my favorite beer name, though
My favorite comes from Shotz Brewery.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.
Fuck. Thanks for that ear worm.
It's draft brewed Blatz beer,
Wherever you go.
Hey!
Again, blessed are the cheesemakers!
Hopefully that includes any manufacturers of dairy products.
I remember them from whey back.
What Jesus fails to realize is that it's the meek that are the problem.
Damn poors have all the money…
I can see Jesus trying to deliver His word on O'Reilly's show and repeatedly being cut off with "Hold it right there, Christ…"
So this is where the sweat love comes in?
Bamz makes me think of sultry songs while Joe makes me sing "Happy Happy Joy Joy."
Romney, on the other hand, makes me think of the Log theme. "It's big, it's heavy, it's wood!"
But he's not better than bad!
Geez, Romney VETOED pre-school in Mass. What a dick.
And would pay for his tax cuts for billionaires by drowning Big Bird in Grover Norquist's bathtub.
All Hail the American Night!
Let it roll, baby, roll.
Now, that's soundtrack music.
Yeah, I think so too.
Windowpane: Harshest. Acid. Ever.
Still, when it's the only acid you've got handy …
Well, purple microdot wasn't that great either…
I will see you there, or I'll see you on another time.
That is the sweetest pic of a lovely and handsome couple. Was this taken before or after the nuptials?
Mitt Romney, look upon your vanquishers and weep.
What it's like with two lesbian moms? A lot of flannel and chainsaws?
And field-hockey.
Zach Wahls has some serious BRASS!
Two-Momgasm!
Zach Wahl has a thing or two to say to R&R, it sounds like.
"Where did it go, Spider" — I haven't heard that in forever! Love that lady.
Make it rain
okay
I wonder is Edith Childs would adopt me…..?
She fires me up!
She's pretty damned cool!
No Pregnancy for me. I can haz Parthenogenesis?
It's going to be disturbing if a rash of full-body meiosis breaks out tonight.
SPLITTERS!
interesting partheno story- the stick insects at the National Zoo are all female and the ones at NMNH are all male. I was told a trade will be happening to change the gene pool
I now forgive you for creating Poco, Jim.
Vahevala – homeward sailors.
Woah, dude, you edited your comment. Or I really am tripping. Or both.
There was one I loved.
Anyway, bye ,bye
They certainly had chops.
BLUNTS FIRED UP! READY TO GO!
LETS GO CHANGE THE…Uh… change the …
change the radio station, man. Yeah, Reggae!
Woooooo! Let's go find a White Castle!
You sound like a lot of fun on a date!
Thanks! That's sweet. Where are my car keys? My left shoe? How did my pants get in the tree? Why's this boat up on somebody's lawn?
G-d, my ears are sweating already.
I'm already drunk and naked.
I think you mean still.
Aren't we all?
Overachiever.
That's the spirit!
Oh wow…oh WOW man…did you see that…OH WOW…look, tracers man…
As I read that, I heard it in Tommy Chong's voice.
What a coincidence. I AM zombie Tommy Chong.
I hope you have some Nice Dreams.
We can only hope that Joe and Barack do the hair piece / herpes bit on stage tonight.
If he knocks me up, it will be a miracle of modern politics. I'm just sayin'.
You'll make all the godless liberals rethink their stance on Christianity, or at least, virgin birth.
Delivered in a nerdish but commanding voice: "A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship; but it is not this day! An hour of woe, and shattered shields, when the Age of Men comes crashing down; but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand!"
ha!
i was going to say i liked: all our hopes now lie with two little hobbits, blah, blah, blah
but then i had to instead reference this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyoWmkhRyp8
you have my sword, bluestatelibel
CNN is showing me video footage of Eva Longoria "petting" Jessica Alba at a bar near the convention. This is way hotter than the footage of Miss Lindsay "milking" Marcus Bachmann last week.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/provincialelitist/eva-lon…
No, its Eva and Jessica! I know you don't have brain bleach!
The woman on the left is a damn good chewer.
Um, brb………….
Sadly, it's only light petting.
You have to start somewhere.
Nice Acid suggestion, Rebecca. Thanks. Now I've got a Bizarre Audial Residue all over my Teen-Age Record Player.
Supposedly, Zappa said he disbanded the Mothers because "people clap for the wrong reasons." Or maybe he was talking about Mitt Romney's speech last week. I don't know, I'm high.
I am so high. Don't tell Frank, he's gonna be pissed.
My hairdresser is running late. If I am not home in time for Biden I am never going back to her again. But I will be well quaffed for when I get preggers!
Joey's tearing up over his son's speachisms….yay!
coiffed or quaffed?
Goddammit! Can I be both?
Yes!
Abspoelutely
Turn your head and coif.
How does this work, do we just lie back and think of Medicare?
I won't be able to watch the big speeches live tonight, because, hello, some of us have jobs!…but anyway, I am counting on all of you to leave extraordinarily awesome comments for me to read late tonight so that I can feel as though I was there. Can you be counted on? (Say yes.)
That's what I did for the GOP convention.
Then went to work the next day and was able to stand around the water cooler and talk like I had actually watched every minute of the damn thing.
Only 'cause you asked.
Fucking elitist, with your fancy job…
Biden Biden Beau Biden, Banana-fana-fo Fiden! Good lookin' kid.
Seems brainy too. I think he'll do fine taking over the family biz when he's ready.
His Time is coming. He would have run for Old Joe's seat had he not had to prosecute the worst child molester in history, Dr. Earl Bradley. Said molestor's multiple life sentence was affirmed today by the Delaware Supreme Court. Beau's path is clear now. Not sure what he will run for, though. Both Senate seats and our only House seat are occupied by Dems.
And now, to watch Gov. Orange Christ tell us how awful the GOP is….
And thank you for that, teabaggers, giving us the crazy loser non-witch because Mike Castle was too reasonable for you.
On the other hand, the teabaggers gave us the most elfin member of the United States Senate. I swear, Chris Coons literally has pointy ears.
"Let's do 'Chuck'!"
Joe, ya big sap!
Joe loves and takes care of his family, something certain other folks fail to do. Not naming names. Cough…Joe Walsh…cough
When Biden cries he cries like a MAN.
He was a bit shy about it too.
Oh man, Joe Biden is crying over his son's intro! Boehner is all like, "how does he make that look so real?!"
Well, not crying two or three times a day is a good start.
Not being plastered in Vodka after 3 in the afternoon and hungover 'till Noon helps. Also.
I love Joe. He's a lot like some of my male relatives. Smart, heart in the right place, doesn't tolerate fools, and a goofy personable way about him.
Foo Fighters are performing tonight?! Why not the Eagles Of Death Metal?!
Al Green or GTFO.
Word to the Wise:
C-Span coverage seems to be the only channel without a delay. DNC website streaming is delayed by a minute, and the networks are but not as bad. You might miss something, maybe not a nipple slip, but what if part ways into his speech 'Bama drops his pants and tells that Mitt Romulan to kiss his sweet balack *ss. You never know….
Time is just a bullshit social construct, man, so vote tonight!
Osama and Brietbart both still dead.
GM still alive.
Ask Andrew Breitbart if he's better off than he was four years ago.
Don't mind if I do.
Joe Biden cries the tears of a clown. But he's our clown, dammit!
Foo Fighters are fine, but I'm in the mood to hear Bruce sing American Land
CNN has a helpful Chyron explaining who Dave Grohl is.
Now if they'd just explain who Wolf Blitzer is sposta be.
I'm thinking about taking a bathroom break, all in favor of the motion say 'Aye' …
"Aye eee he hee hehe hehehehehehehe!!"
I am so high
Oh, sorry. Just now saw this. Are you still holding it and waiting for votes? Aye.
Since I can't be at home watching this, I'm going to liveblog from my hairdresser's.
4:27 PST – it's really hot under this dryer.
4:30 – this is taking way too long and I have to pee.
Have you quaffed yet?
4:48 – kicked bobbert in the ass.
OW MY ASS!!!
CNN has a helpful Chyron explaining where the name "Foo Fighters" comes from.
I hope CNN has a helpful Chyron explaining what Rock n Roll is.
Is it correct? I.e., UFOs?
The Chyron on MSNBC is just tweet oriented. I can't switch to CNN. I am too full of fast facts already
Oh Joe. You done good by those kids of yours and you know it.. Beau made you cry and for all the right reasons (not like my kid)
Now, Mick Jagger spazzes onto the stage with the Foo Fighters and kicks into "Brown Sugar"!
Needz moar Jeff Tweedy.
"We are not at the convention because live blooging is impossible when you can’t pause or rewind, and also we are not at the convention because we are never leaving the house again, because OLD AND TIRED. So old. So tired. But at least our eyeballs have stopped crackling, so that is a plus!"
I feel your pain. I was a little bit bitchy in my 8am meeting this morning.
Why don't the Foo Fighters have any lyrics about America's enemies going to hell?! Where's the pedal steel, fiddles and banjos?!
WE LOVE YA JOE!!!!
I don't really like the Foo Fighters, but I like this song. No snark.
Look at all the Oldz rockin' out.
White folks clappin' out of time! God bless 'em!
We try! A for Effort.
Are they at least missing the backbeat instead of the downbeat?
Absolutely- it is the only way I know how. Certain white people from Philly used to know how to dance- I was never one of them
Franny Giordano libel!
Remember how the righties were saying the last night was being moved indoors because nobody was going to show up? That was funny.
The Foo Fighters' drummer always looks a little too into it.
I hope CNN has a chyron explaining why
He knows the frontman can replace him without missing a beat.
Obama Vs Romney = Foo Fighters Vs Taylor Hicks.
Even old ladies on oxygen and in jazzies love them some Foo.
Here's hopin' Joe lays down some nice, juicy F-bombs.
Some Romney surrogate will snark about how we're havin' a rock concert while they're tryin' to save the country. I will wish him/her a self-fucking in advance.
I'd die in a ditch for Joe Biden, but I wouldn't shit in a pit for Paul Ryan.
Who is the old fella in the video with the bow tie? I'd like to buy him a drink.
Old men in bow ties kick ass.
He looked a lot like a retired Milk Drivers and Dairy Employees organizer I bend elbows with at my dive.
Nobody be funny. I'm at a school curriculum night and out loud laughing would be suspicious.
DO NOT READ EL PINCHE THEN
This is why I stopped looking at the wonkette during company meetings.
How does the teacher read schoolwork?
˙sןıdnd ɹǝɥ ɥʇıʍ
Is pr0n okay?
Bastard!
James Clyburn reminds me of a church deacon telling us we better not be rubbin' up on each other in the back of the bus on the way to the Youth Retreat.
As a young Christianistani, I never really thought about acting out on the carnal desires, until the concept was aired in public discourse. At that point, I figured I'd already been ear-fucked, might as well go for the sweat, sweat love itself.
How dedicated am I as a political nerd?
So dedicated that I am missing Fashion's Night Out, which was very inconveniently scheduled for this evening. FFS, can't a girl like both fashion and politics? Don't know why the idiots and assholes who run FNO couldn't have scheduled it for next week…
Oh, hon, tough call, but I'm glad you chose politics!
Thank goodness we could record Project Runway.
Damn I forgot about that. Guess I'll watch it online.
OMG, Kerry Washington. You know, she's on a show where she plays a lady who's fucking the President. Let's all take a bunk break.
She is much hotter than that blonde chick from Northern Exposure. Much.
The one who always wore her shirt out on that show to hide her big fat ass? (Watched it every week.)
She is teh hawt!
bunk break- is that a Firefly reference?
I don't know, "I'll be in my bunk" seems to be code for "fap-break" around here.
Yes.
Hard to believe that one State delegation could contain both James Clyburn and Jim DeMint.
cf. Tom Harkin and Steve King
Old black dudes lookin' at Kerry Washington thinkin' "yesss indeed!!" OK, it's just me.
"You may not think about politics, but politics is thinking about you." That's pretty good.
Politics is looking for me?! Hide the stash(s)! I'd include moneys, but that's hiding so I well I can't even find them.
Charlie Crist is speaking at the convention tonight?
Hmmm. SC Public TV station has dumped live coverage of the Convention tonight. Could be they don't want South Carolinians to see Jim Clyburn, Obama, etc.?
Actually, they did pick up coverage quite soon after Clyburn's speech/sermon…
Dear Rebecca, I am going through the "change". I never get enough crying in for the day.
I feel ya, Maman
Is this the first time a Prince song has been played at a convention? They should have gone with one of his other songs, say, International Lover.
The Repugs didn't play "1999"?
Maybe "1899".
They should have played "Darling Nikki" for Gov. Haley!
Triphoria libel!
"Scarlett Johannson's at the podium! Make sure the First Lady is still in Hair & Makeup and NOT NEAR ANY MONITORS!!"
Kerry at 8:45! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I'm turning into my Mother. I looked at Scarlett Johannson and thought "She's such a pretty girl. Why is she wearing so much eye makeup?"
FoxNews commenting on SarJo's voter fraud in 3…
2,
1…..
Earth Wind and Fire! Loving the music!
Can the DNC offer classes to the whites on how to clap to music?
Fox is showing nothing but upskirt shots.
Ugh, close your legs Doocy.
Nice try, but I'm still not watching. I don't want to see Ann Coulter's dangly bits.
Who the hell said we only had B list stars??
Never seen any of her work, but I've heard the name a bunch.
Aretha! Cripes hanna, they've swiped my iPod
Think!
Bammers just sent me an email saying, "Before I go out on stage, please send me some monies!"
I get one of those every 10 minutes.
Send a guy three bucks for a sticker and he's on you forever.
So do I. I just liked the "just before I go out…"
Gabby!!!!!!!
Gabby!
Not a dry eye in the house.
Bit o' trivia: Duane Allman played guitar on Aretha's "Think."
That I did not know.
Yee ha go Gabby!!
GABBY! I'm standing for the Pledge. Even though I have no pants.
I HAVE NO PANTS AND I MUST PLEDGE!
Just don't put pledge on your pants.
Go Gabby!
Gabbie Giffords, bless her heart and I mean that. She looks great.
OMG, got tears in my eyes.
Dammit, I'm crying for GG.
GABBY!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!
Welcome, Gabby. Welcome.
Thank you.
If Gabby didn't just bring you to tears you have no soul.
That was just awesome.
Glad I have a water-resistant keyboard
Hmm, turns out I do have a soul after all. Well waddaya know…
DId you hear Rachel Maddow say, "No, don't go to that camera because I'm crying like everyone else in the country!"?
I did not! Rachel is awesome and gets it.
Mitt Rmoney cries bitter robot tears as we speak…
Aw and here I was busy buying snacks for a visitor I'm gonna have next week; I guess I shouldn't have gone to get them.
Bittersweet moment. Yes, I teared up, but I'm a crybaby. I mean, I'm sensitive.
BRUCE!!!
Now, I want him to perform live. Barry, make it happen.
GAbby! GAbby! GAbby!
Dammit–did I just miss Gabby? Crap!
I'm sorry, but look at our convention, and look at theirs. Anybody who says there is no difference between Dems and Repubs is missing something.
Yeah. Anger, hate and bitterness just bleed right through. Hope and love, they shine right through.
That and this convention actually has real Americans and looks like America, not just a bunch of old white people.
Good for Caroline Kennedy for not being shy about standing up for reproductive rights.
Finally! Dems be kickin' some butt.
They've finally, finally stopped running away on both reproductive rights and gay marriage, and showing balls on them.
At this time last week, the GOP had a Panzer tank parade.
Kal Penn talking about how he passed out fliers at the Illinois delegation four years ago.
Caroline is putting me to sleep again…
Bumper sticker in the crowd:
Save Medicare – Vote Democrat
Does this mean we have embraced the "Democrat Party" label that the Reeps love to throw at us, the way we embrace Obamacare?
I'm in favor!
Eh, I don't think it really matters, does it?
Hearing a Repig say "The Democrat Party" used to bother me until I looked at all the times I'd written about "Repiglicans" (or worse) on facebook.
It's a big part of the reason I started calling them Reeps (rhymes with "creeps.")
I feel like I'm at the symphony and they're playing the slow movement.
Javier Becerra–I live in his district! Though redistricting gives me Adam Schiff after this year.
ETA: he looks better here than he does in his photos.
Too bad Barry is gonna be like dry toast after Bubba pancakes last night.
I'll take that bet.
Toast… with butter and dark, sweet jam.
Blackberry jam.
Sloe jam.
Yum!
The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. (So I've been told.)
Yeah I dunno, I really don't find him to be all that great of a speaker, but then again I generally avoid watching him speak. Yes, yes, yes, I am a good little libtard and all that, but he just comes across all stilted to me. Don't get me wrong, he is no John Kerry, but someone on NPR this morning said how "dynamic" of a speaker he is and I just laughed.
I generally agree – it's like he has his truly inspired moments, but most of the time he's afraid of what Fox News is going to say about him if he flubs a line (and they do, ad nauseum, like "you didn't build that"). He used to be incredible when he was campaigning and shortly thereafter… then he became more stilted like you say. Hopefully he brings back the A-game tonight to seal the deal. Fuck Fox News.
Well I gotta say, I am digging it.
Me too.
"Now, maybe Governor Romney has forgotten what got us into this mess in the first place, but we haven't"
Too bad that quote is a little long for a bumper sticker…
(Christ, I originally typed "Governor Obama." It's been a long campaign…)
So tired. But at least our eyeballs have stopped crackling, so that is a plus!
Eyeball(s) plural? Come now, Rebecca, what do you take us for?
Fare where have you been darling dear?
8:05: Just tuned in.
I missed the gays dancing! (Crap, my cousin was there).
Caroline (Will Never Be a Senator) Kennedy.
Just saw Gabby Giffords. (Wasn't there some young, gay Mesican guy who helped save her life and got recognized at that tribute thing? Shouldn't he be speaking? Just a thought.
Sad to say he's not a very good speaker. He's still a student at U of A and didn't even get elected when he ran for student body president. Personally, I think the students should be ashamed of themselves, but his platform didn't include beer pong on every street corner, so he lost.
Thanks, Jukesgrrl.
Tucson's Lois Lane, happy to be of service.
Still getting more Gabby coverage. On stage with her best friend, DWS (needs a keratin treatment) and sitting in the audience with her astronaut. What is wrong with me? Dry as the Sahara
"If you believe in America, you invest in America"
Now *there's* the bumper sticker…
But, but, but, aren't the Caymans in Amercia?
Well they're NEAR. Like, the President!
Coupon Care! Bumper sticker
One thing that can be said about Caroline Kennedy. Charisma is not an inherited characteristic. (But she seems to be a very nice, very rich lady.)
"Coupon care"? Good question…love it!
A stinking drunk GE Smith is outside the arena begging to be let in. Embarrassing.
Jenny!
Jennifer Granholm? Hope she gives a great speech, she wasn't much of a governor.
Watch yo mouth. I know at least one person here who would clock you for that.
Michigan accents make me giggle.
I don't know much about her gubernatorial record but she is killing it with this speech!
Maybe. Couldn't say. But what a babe.
Isn't she the shoe-banger?
Aw, my dog just licked the screen as Governor Granholm started speaking about saving the auto industry…
Ford Wixom closing was a big fuckin' deal.
Wham! He saved the American auto industry–she sounds good.
"In 2009 the cavalry arrived…and he saved the auto industry"
Nice…
Cars get the elevator, and the workers get the shaft.
OH, SNAP!!
"The millionaires get the auto elevator and the workers get the shaft"
Oh yeah!
Piers Morgan is interviewing First Sister Maya Soetoro-Ng. Such soothing, dulcet tones! Her, not the git, of course.
Did she bring the adorable First Niece with her? Too cute.
Is he interviewing her face-to-face, or is he breaking into a phone call with her husband?
Rebecca real men don’t go to conventions their day is too booked stuffing Paultards into lockers. If you need to resort to the love that dare not speak its name to get through this trip we won’t hold it against you.
Yeah, humping with Dave Weigel isn't love that dare not speak its name but … whatever.
In Romney's America, the cars get the elevators the workers get the shaft. Not that original but still a great line.
You need a 3-D TV to get the full effect.
Virginia–good for her! Also NC and Wisconsin! Keep shouting out to those swing states!
The DNC is so diverse… they've got shouty speakers and quiet speakers and boring speakers and Foo Fighters!
Fighting Foo, as always.
DAMN this woman knows how to get a crowd going! Good for her.
Jennifer Granholm is ON FIRE!
This is good to see.
It's so refreshing to see a drunken politician again!
A drunken, happy politician. Unlike the drunken, weepy one we usually have to watch.
Bravo! The amazing thing about that speech was that Jennifer Granholm was also doing kegels the whole way through.
Multi-tasking!
I thought I saw movement! Now, that's talent.
JENNIFER!!!
Seriously nasty trolls in twitter thingy at bottom of page.
and that is why I make sure I don't watch a channel with that shit. I was yelling at the TV the other night- so my husband said change the channel- and it worked!!
Holy shit–hey, Michiganders, can you elect more people like her? Bring it!
Too bad she was born in Canada. Warren/Granholm '16 is an impossibility. :(
I see…I'll settle for sending her to the Senate.
I think Jennifer is overdosing on Redbull or something.
I'll have what she's having.
EVA!! Hot in a blue dress.
And now a desperate housewife? WTF?
The speakers at the DNC are a hell of a lot more attractive than the RNC's.
Shit, howdy!
Hello nurse!
Hellloooooo nurse.
Eva!
*Swoon*
*thunk*
Re: 8:12pm – BigSkullF*ckingDog's asterisk is a U? How rude! I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!
I know! That * could be any vowel, or sometimes Y!
I love a man who protects my right to abortion while impregnating me!
"The Eva Longoria who worked flipping burgers needed a tax break, but the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets does not"
NICE!
Never my favorite housewife, but the gal is giving good speech!
the Eva Longoria who flipped burgers at Wendy's needed a tax break. the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets doesn't. Nice.
Free BIRD!!!
Great hair.
Eva Longoria is right: damn those 13-year-old girl cyber-squatters!
If you watch Caroline Kennedy's speech on mute but blast "The Wall" it totally fucking makes sense!
Montana's governor? Never seen him–this could be interesting.
And yes, Governor, we sure do have work to do…
They're showing Granholm's greatest hits on MSNBC. I do believe she just did a Palin wink at somebody! And now she's cabbage-patching!!
Stirrrrr the pot Jen, Stirrr it…and electric slide…
Is Gov. Granholm on the sauce?
Sextuple shot latte, maybe?
Said this before, I'll say it again…I'll have what she's having.
Don't they sell any neckties west of the Mississippi? I see a untapped market niche.
Woops! Missed the bolo. Shoulda known.
In Iran too – (see President Casual-Friday Ahmadinejad)
Nice string tie, Governor of Montana but you are no Jennifer Granholm in the rousing speech department.
I think it was during a work trip to Montana(years ago) that I bought bolo ties for my family- not sure when I thought a 7 year old girl and a 9 year old boy would wear them(and they didn't- neither did my husband)
Mitt is not a loyal American, that's why his money is in the Caymans and he avoids paying his taxes.
Oh yeah–don't let people forget about Mittens' debt….
Eva's good
I'm sensing the dems strategy is to get the same republican 0% for Latinos as for African Americans.
I wish we could get the same for women.
14% cut in education in the first year? Yikes!
What does Gov Sideburns have against hunting dogs?
MITT Romney hates milk!
And guns!
Quadrupled the fee for gun licenses? Oh boy, the NRA gun nuts are going into severe cognitive dissonance…
WTF does "that dog don't hunt" mean? Leave the nonsense sayings to the Republicans, Western dude with the silly string tie thing!
He's trying to appeal to the people who think saying things like that shows a common touch.
Annoying, yes, but it could work…
It's the reach around, the reach around the aisle. For bipartisanship.
We used that cliche in the south, too. Nuthin' wrong with a good regionalism. You snob.
Hey, no hate here…I've got my own annoying sayings.
Two problems: The expression is "That dog won't hunt" and it's a Southernism.
Maybe he's got that string wrapped too tight.
That makes no sense whatsoever. For one, why would you care, or even know, if your pet dog hunts or not?
My dog hunts the laser pointer. TOTAL badass. Afraid of squirrels, though.
My dog did- and I don't – she killed 2 possums and a bunny here in the burbs. I don't know what it means though.
My cat did; my old apartment building had a problem with mice, but not my unit, where the only ones I saw were dead in her paws.
Montana governor needs to get off the stage. He stopped the enthusiasm from Granholm and Longoria dead in its tracks.
Yeah, this guy is boring. Even when making a good point his delivery is just dull; even talking about bin Laden being dead he just makes me yawn.
Two words: smoke break.
Did anyone notice the "Obámanos" sign in the crowd? Obama has become a Spanish verb-that is awesome!
I was seeing that here in Austin, Tejas four years ago.
All kidding aside, folks.
Watching the 2012 Democratic National Convention gives me the feeling that I've slipped back through the space-time rift into the Normal Universe. Where people do and say things that make sense, evil is not lauded as good and smart people make evidence based decisions. And…the audience isn't a nightmarish landscape of fat white clones.
I hope I get to stay, this time.
Just keep up the momentum C_R Eature & maybe we can keep the Morlocks from grabbing it again.
Hey, I'll got through those hairy white fuckers before I go back to Backwards Universe. Take that to the bank.
Montana has like four people in it. But cows. and varmints.
Glacier National Park, too
"And we vetoed Republican tax increases"
OMG, the FOX News people must be losing their shit…
Oh, they lost it long ago. But yeah!
Jen Granholm gives me tingle in my leg.
Gen JC Christian @JC_Christian
"Granholm left the stage an immediately punched Chuck Todd "
I did not think I could love her more after her speech, but now I just adore her.
Chuck Todd was all "To be fair, Republican's would probably punch me too."
Yes, I'm slacking here, but I do have many tabs open.
He sucks. He just keeps bragging about his own state.
Yeah, but he's a successful Dem in a western State. Let him brag a bit
For the Mafiosi Wonketteers, that's quel cane non caccia!
"Eva Longoria, when did you stop being an asshole who clocks valets and shit and start being so frigging menschy?"
When she touched Scarlett in a familiar manner?
Good strategy! Keep mentioning Romney & dog – they go together real well.
OMG – "Desperate Housewives" actress. Waaaay better than old man with chair.
Bin Laden sure isn't in heaven… Mmmm-mmmm- red meat!
Oh yeah, here comes the bi – partisan kick. Crist!
RAINBOWZZZ!!!
Bill O'Reilly just announced that he doesn't see anyone trying to interfere with women's reproductive choices.
So that's settled.
Charlie Crist is looking a little crisp.
His skin looks like finely tanned leather.
Corinthian.
Jen Granholm has a little of that "Regional Sales Manager cuttin' loose at that karaoke bar" thing going on. I am afraid she would take advantage of me.
Yup. She's got "You're gonna wake up naked and alone, chained to the bed in a Holiday Inn" written all over her.
I would volunteer to be her office slave boy.
This one time, in Vegas….
Let's jut say you shoulda seen her fist pump then!
Crist is pretty cute for an older guy, actually…
Temptations, nice!
And Brian Sweitzer done good, too. Now Charlie Crist? Wow!
That has got to be the worst "Four More Years" chant I've ever heard. Brian Schweitzer seems like a good dude, had a great tv appearance a few weeks ago. But he should never lead a chant ever again.
Charlie Crist? He's endorsing Obama. Fox is trying to figure out what's worse than a RINO.
Charlie Crist–the Republican party left me.
Yeah, that an you are a bit of a creep.
Rational republican? I must be tripping too. And I quit that shit when I was 17.
Stay away from the brown acid!
"Today's Republicans…just aren't up to the task"
I'll say–sing it, Governor!
Crist should shut up about Reagan. He must be trying to cover his GOP flank.
Jesus mcfucktits all twatwaffled and leaky. The ad script that keeps reflowing the content on the iPad is horrendous.
Hey, can I borrow that? Your invective, not your iPad.
Hey we've got our own party crossover now! Now that you're with the Dems Charlie maybe you can try coming out of the closet?
He's got a purty mouth…
He'll resist out of respect to his "wife."
Until they can both burst from the closet at the same glorious moment!
Florida is always on the edge of disaster. If its not the economy, it's mother nature or some crazy assed locals.
Too many old people.
Too many gunz.
As Florida native Daniel Tosh said, Florida is flat, hot, and dumb.
Too much sunshine, too much humidity.
Alligators. And 20-foot long pythons. It's like living in Australia without all the fun.
Crist is looking very orange tonight.
Baked
Orange looks better on him than it does on Boneheader.
"He simply saw Americans who needed help…I saw the leader our country needs."
And *we* see both of those things very clearly…
I have to say that Charlie is a nice looking man, well dressed, and with a fab tan. He played quarterback for Wake Forest?
Charlie you owe us one for letting that dickwad win the governorship. Now go deliver Florida.
Is Charlie now officially a Silver Fox?
What's next? Hot Anderson/Charlie action?
Florida – where the cockroaches are the size of SST's
They're Palmetto Bugs, Dammit!
Palmetto Bugs!
Not only are they huge, but they can fly and screech like tree frogs.
Please God, don't them them really be cockroaches . . .
"…I see a leader who will give me a cabinet job. That's the reason I'm here tonight."
Still, we're grateful for the help. Now change parties.
Christ, if we had more rational, concerned, logical Republicans like Crist, Obama's post partisan ideas for governing would stand a chance…
OMG–Geraldine! Talk about going back in the day…
"God Bless America, now where did those Castro twins go?"
Any dem that doesn't vote should have to look John Lewis in the face and tell him why.
And now hologram Geraldine Ferraro!
Just don't let her criticize Mittens. Because then Reince Priebus will haz to haz a sad.
Uh, oh. I see dead people.
How many?
Thoroughly enjoyed Charlie Crist's rendition of "What I did on my Summer Vacation"
Can women be "menschy"?
If they get to come on to Scarlett Johanssen, yes.
TV was fuzzier in 1984.
Geraldine? That was very Breitbartian.
Yup! Dead people, like John Kerry!
I remember seeing Geraldine Ferraro be nominated at the convention. My family was eating dinner with a TV moved so we could see history happening.
I memorized her nomination speech for my high school speech team.
John Kerry–pardon me while I nod off for a few minutes.
Is it my imagination, or did Geraldine Ferraro just deliver a 2-minute speech?
REEEEEporting for Duuuuty!!
John Kerry was fuzzier in 2004.
Windsurfer ketchup guy!
He served in Vietnam, unlike the Rethuglicans. And he repudiated that war.
Who'll be the last to die for a mistake?
The Republicans never forgave him for either one.
Kerrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
"He would rely on them–after all, he's the great outsourcer…this is not the time to outsource the job of commander in chief"
Well played, John Kerry…
Whoa what happened to Kerry's face? Looks like he got some fancy fillers or something.
Maybe a chemical peel, too
He looks like a Real Housewife if the real housewives were lesbian grandmas from the eastern seaboard.
(I'm sorry. I don't really have anything against him. It's just unsettling.)
He must go to the same guy as Lance Henriksen.
This thread is gonna be EPIC!
(and maybe get me to 115 pee?)
I see the strategy now. Ramp down, to ramp up.
HEY! John Kerry being all loud and stuff, too bad it's 8 years too late. Yell it Senator Kerry!
Climate Change! DRINK!!
Someone has to finally mention environmental issues of some kind
SRSLY.
I am getting a little tired of all this shouting on street corners by myself. The tips can be OK, though.
Kerry's gotten better at this speechifyn' stuff. I think he's angrier this time.
I know I am.
He has less at stake personally this time, too. Kerry's getting some honey badger spirit finally
"They opposed everything that makes America exceptional in the first place"
Slick…
Oh man, all those hours and days and weeks I spent campaigning for this guy. Sigh.
Stuxnet! Stuxnet! Stuxnet!
When did we ban torture?
Oh, right. Jersey Shore's been cancelled. WOOHOO!
I join the chorus of voices yellng "shit! Not John Kerry:Buzz Killer.!"
Lily! Grandpa!
John Kerry…. who, thanks to Ken Blackwell is not the outgoing 44th President of the United States.
Jeezuzz. Where was this guy 8 years ago?
Gettin Swift-boated by Karl Rove, I believe.
Purple band-aids!
(Green balloons!)
That ex-gov from MI was hawt!
"It took President Obama…to give that order and finally rid this earth of Osama bin Laden"
Ah, I just can't hear that enough–
"Ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off now than he was four years ago"
OMG I love this!
This is not the John Kerry who has been my senator for way too long! Holding out?
They all got Big Dog Fever last night.
Ask OBL if he's better off than he was four years ago. Now that's a bumper sticker!
I don't care for the "exceptionalism" meme much because it seems to imply others are lesser beings, but I like the perspective Kerry applied to it.
Fuck Israel.
John Kerry bringing it: "Ya Want some heinz ketchup with ya red meat?"
Ask Osama bin Laden if he's better off now than he was 4 years ago.
Oh my!
Damn–great line–ask Osama bin Laden if he is better off than he was four years ago.
That is worth listening to all the other words Kerry is saying.
He really has improved!
"Ask Osama Bin Ladin if he is better off than he was four years ago."
I so want that bumper sticker.
I'm going to make a little poster of that for my Dad to hang on the bulletin board at his American Legion post. Should make a few tea bagger heads explode. Lol
I'm ready to print 'em up myself.
"I'll take the word of Israel's Prime Minister over that of Mitt Romney any day"
Good one, Kerry…
Did Kerry just diss Binnie Netanyahu?Nah, of course not.BAM!
Does anyone know what Mitt Romney wants to do in foreign policy?
Does Mitt?
What day of the week is it?
He'll tell us later. We people have all the information we need.
Give unsolicited Olympics advice.
Tabitha Hale @TabithaHale
Wait, Obama has more foreign policy experience than Romney? Is that what Kerry is saying?
Expand
3m TBogg TBogg @tbogg
@TabithaHale Yes. Obama has been president for the past 3 years. You didn't know? It was in all of the papers…
The pollsters?
Something about Paris and the French countryside.
Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?
If so I can't imagine why (Oh no, no)
We've all got time enough to cry
Judging by the response he got in Great Britain, I'm think he wants to be the Buffoon and do the prat-fall.
WE WILL NOT LEAD FROM BEHIND! WE WILL LEAD FROM THE FRONT, LIKE BRAVEHEART, OR JOHNNY QUEST!
Romney's a flip-flopper!! You go John Kerry!!!
The wind behind Kerry's wind-surfer has finally started to gust…eight years too late.
"He has every position"
And we have a winner for the bumper sticker contest. Thanks for playing, everyone!
Gah I lost my internet connection for a bit; hope I didn't miss anything interesting – oh look John Kerry *yawn* zzzzzzzz….
Actually, he's kickin' ass. I'm as surprised as anyone.
Where was he in 2004? (Not to mention current Al Gore in 2000).
He's our Mitt Romney, except he didn't avoid service to Viet Nam, and married into his money instead of inheriting it.
Yup, Teresa Heinz went from one Senator to another after John Heinz died. Kinda interesting. Also, windsurfing.
And Heinz, while a Republican, was a decent, reasonable guy who would probably have been driven out of the party as a RINO had it not been for that helicopter crash.
Kerry is doing great!
"He has every position"
Get a cap, my brother. A point in every direction is no point at all.
Romney's European tour – hahahaha!
(Still laughing about "Ich bein eine Polack" btw)
"Talk about being for it before you were against it…Mr Romney, you better finish your debate with yourself"
Oh yeah! Go Kerry!
Yeouch!! That was delicious. If anything, Romney taught the master class of flip flopping.
Jennifer Granolm should marry Joe Biden. She's yelling shit, and fist pumping. She even winked at us.
John Kerry's all "Fuck you, Republican cunts!"
8 years too late, but hey, I'll take it.
Is Heinz putting jalapenos in their ketchup these days?
PLEASE write a letter to Heinz suggesting this as a new product–I would gobble that up:
https://www.heinzketchup.com/contactus.aspx
Just FYI… http://www.melindas.com/sauces/ketchup_jalapeno.h…
Kerry is really flying–"Romney overseas wasn't a goodwill trip, it was a blooper reel."
He is really nailing his lines. Good speech!
How many years has this boring stiff been my senator? What ever he's drinking, give him more of it.
I'll have what he's having.
(That line is *really* coming in handy tonight…)
Mitt Romney's mama so fat…
OOOOHHHH Rocky IV shout out. Who says Democrats can't connect with Middle America?
I'm guessing IV is the one where he fights Dolph Lundgren, the evil Russian Swede?
It is indeed. The one with James Brown singing "Living in America," which the GOP used at their convention last week just to show that no one in the entire hall could dance.
Stallone Libel !!!
When did Kerry learn to shoot zingers out of his vocal egress?
Kerry is a hoot tonight! Romney acts like he got his foreign policy by watching Rocky 4!
I loved that line.
When will this millionaire on millionaire violence ever end?
They have everything in common! Well, they will after the election, anyway…
What, will Kerry be unemployed, too?
At least Kerry always had the self-awareness to realize he married into it, and it wasn't some bullshit bootstrapping, just luck.
So true, not to mention the Republican on Republican violence.
Poor ole Myth Rmoney… Kerry is jamming o that Mor(m)on.
"A man…a man…a man…"
Is that a subtle jab at Mittens' lack of he-man masculinity?
Or lack of noticeable huMANity?
More like a subtle jabb at Mittens' missing human DNA sequence.
Oh, snap! Where was this Kerry when he was running for President? This guy hit that bitch! Dang, boy!!!!!
yEAH, BUT jANE fONDA!!!!11!!
Kerry just yachtboated Mitt with that swift one.
Double plus win with a twist at the end! (I liked it.)
Good one.
(polite applause)
Windsurf boarded.
"yachtboated"
I bow to perfection.
"Some of us from a prior war remember that coming home was not always easy"
Damn, Kerry owns this…
BAM! Kerry rips Romney a new one for not mentioning troops at war.
Dead solid perfect.
Alt. John Kerry: "Bitter, party of one."
But he kinda wears it well……..
Oh sure — say you're gonna start the liveblog at nine and then just churn right ahead while I obliviously watch Wipeout and do dishes. Okay, I needed to do the dishes anyway, but what'd I miss? John Kerry? Hahahahaha — hey his last few minute weren't bad, though.
OMG, REPUBLICANS DON'T LOVE THE TROOPS!!!
They love 'em to death.
Just ask the patients at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
I like this Kerry guy I wonder if he has ever considered running for executive office.
I *was* doing OK without alcohol…
(rushes off to liquor store…)
Sounds like John Kerry took notes during Patrick Duval's speech.
Whatever it takes…
I like this John Kerry guy. He should have run in 2004.
It's a billionaire's pissing match. Now we know what gets them excited.
Yay vets, but this might be my only bathroom break…
So, has Rebecca disappeared to go have sex with Charlie Crist? 'Becs, there is no future there!
That's nice about the veterans; Forrest Gump is still one of the worst movies ever made, and probably the most heinous Oscar ever. (And over both Pulp Fiction and Shawshank redemption!)
"Life is like a box of veterans."
Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'……
Ah fuck me, Tom Hanks?
BAM! Tom Hanks
Kerry is our Mitt Romney, except he didn't avoid service in Viet Nam, so he was not acceptable to Republicans as a presidential candidate.
there wasn't all that much wrong with him really. just a bad presidential campaigner.
not bad like mitt.
Swiftboat these nuts, bitch!
I'm John Kerry and I approve this message.
"No nominee for President should fail to mention our brave troops fighting overseas again"
(paraphrased)
Kerry just grabbed the "Anti American War ProtesterCommieLiberal" baseball bat the Republicans have been beating us all with and tolchocked them soundly back, right in the yarbles, until we all felt better.
That was worth seeing.
Thank you John Kerry
I have to say that this is the bestest Dem convention I've watched. Just great speakers all around.
Osama still bin dyin', yay!
And now…. moar war pr0n.
I love that the Dems have wrested the 'we love the troops' angle away from the Republicans. We do love them!
Strategically, the smartest thing they've done in decades.
Now if we could just stop sending kids to war…
Obama killed OBL. Suck on that, Romney.
Isn't it treason to run on one's actual accomplishments?
It's treason to have actual accomplishments, I think.
It is when you're a Nee-gro.
Only acceptable while wearing a tri-cornered hat.
Thank you, DNC, for reminding me of the unease I felt watching Americans wildly cheer a man's death.
I understand that it's not in great taste to crow over the death of a person, but I think an exception can be made for bin Laden. Burn in Hell, rat bastard.
*snoopy dance*
"And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried."
Richard III, WShakespeare
Ten out of ten Tribecans agree.
One of the worst moments in my life was the time that passed between when CNN mumbled something about a plane going down "near Pittsburgh" (my hometown, where my dad was still living and worked in the tallest building in the city) and the clarification that the plane went down in a rural area.
Which is a long winded way of saying "Yeah, what you said…"
My sister works for United, so I know exactly what you mean. The time spent trying to find what flight she was on that morning was agonizing to say the least.
David Brooks is a pantywaist.
Shields should just walk over and fart in Brooks' face.
David Brooks gIves pantywaists a bad name
David Brooks had to give his lunch money to pantywaists for all 5 years of his high school.
Kill him. Kill him with fire.
GASP!!!!
We will now adjourn for a brief "Rubbing Republican's noses in Barack's awesomeness" break.
Ton Hanks voice-over, famous veteran who saved Private Ryan.
Made it back for some of the veterans. Shit, this is much more inspiring than a bunch of washed up Olympians…
Dead Marine's mother. Fuck you, W.
Struck out 4 times? Charlie Brown lives!
There he goes again, apologizing… to Vietnam Vets. What next, American Indians?
He's done something even better, which the MSM totally ignored cuz it's blah Indians… http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/national/president-…
And here's an even huger achievement, which slipped my mind… http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2012/04…
He'l give 'em some more blankets.
I was anti-war until 9-11 and then it became fuck Osams Bin Laden. I'm stoked we're owning this- owning it while bringing the troops home – because no one likes war.
Oh it's Bob McAsshole on PBS. For a religious fanatic who hates planned parenthood he certainly has a faked air of professionalism and a big forehead. He's saying how we're not better off now — and yet last week he was taking credit for Virginia doing alright during this slow recovery, even though this state hosts tons of federal employees, the Norfolk naval yards, Quantico, air and naval bases — what a freaking opportunistic little chameleon.
The base realignment moved a slew of civilian DoD employees out of Crystal City, Va, over to Pax River, Md. Maybe we could move a few thousand more across the river.
Retired Admiral John – Mathman? Did I hear that right? Are we sure that's not a character from Square One?
Mathnet!
Yay, I'm not the only person who remembers that!
Mathman! That was always my favorite segment.
I'd like to raise a glass to the (no doubt exhausted) speechwriting team that is probably still typing backstage. EVERY SINGLE SPEECH at this convention has had take away lines that were utterly eloquent or bumper-sticker-ready … and most times both. Not one speech in Tampa, including the keynotes and the acceptances speeches, were at the level of the afternoon introducers in Charlotte. I've done enough corporate speechwriting in my life to know what a BITCH of a job it is. I am in awe of these people. Go cry in your Scotch Madame Noonington and Bat Buchanan; you've been powned.
So true. Outstanding oratory, industrial strength rhetoric.
Said it before, I'll say it again–these vets could kick the asses of last week's Olympians…
Seriously, where the hell was that Kerry In 2004?
Has that woman with the purple heart band-aid gotten fired from her job for having cancer yet?
They are really hitting the military/veteran issues hard. Kerry, the film and now a retired four-star and a bunch of Afghan/Iraq vets.
Very well done.
I can't wait until a republican goes on one of the Sunday shows and says war is just a distraction. .
It's pretty obvious that the GOP doesn't lurv the Troops nearly as much as we do.
Here's an idea- let's fighting trade wars. We're not the fuckin' Dutch. Now it's time to load the pipe.
Dammit! Are we going to be crying for the whole night?
Veteran tribute very touching. (no snark)
I know, I've teared up a couple times already
It was good.
I bet this Navy flier didn't crash any of his planes.
You can go to the house on that. Four stars.
Who is it that really loves the troops again?
That would be the Democrats. Again.
So what is Charlie Crist doing these days? Why dealing windowpane of course!
Damn, I miss the Silver Dragon (blotter).
Purple pyramid was as far as I went.
Gold dolphin, anyone?
Actually, he is working as a personal injury lawyer in Florida.
And his Harmon & Harmon ads are currently running on the TV.
Virginia governor Bob McDonnell — "A war on women that doesn't exist" — he signed a law that's basically gonna close down every abortion facility in the state that doesn't have the same equipment and facilities as a major hospital.
His new name is Transvaginal Probe Bob
So, he's the new B – 1 Bob? Yuck…
Man, I like this crew of troops way better than the RNC group of Olympians, especially that little troll shooter girl-person. Nicely nicely done.
but they can jump far! America's greatest heroes!
Bleeeeh Snide Hockey. Hero this, haters. USA USA USA
And what Olympians did the Dems have? I mean it's not like they had the winner of the gold in the most popular event of the Summer Olympics (who is also the first blah woman to ever win in that sport) or anything.
Rafalca Libel!!
I…I seem to have something in my eye.
Which of Mitt's servants is being forced to wear an Obama mask tonight so Mitt can yell at him?
AOTK.
Sorry, but you set me up.
And cut said servants hair.
Doesn't Mitt have a nice Chippendale chair that can stand in tonight?
Rafalca refused.
I'm guessing the blackest one born after 1978
I LOVE this discussion about how Obama worked to get businesses to hire veterans. This at a time when the Reeps want to outsource and the rich want to pay workers $2/day…
The VA alone is on track, budget wise, to hire and train 1,200 returning disabled veterans to handle the processing of the enormous backlog of claims.
My Dad, a WW2 vet and proud Democrat, is tickled with this salute to vets and overview of veteran issues.
I had it on mute. Did John Kerry go HAM?
He brought the swag.
Rachel Maddow called Kerry's speech a "roast of Romney" – hahaha – I love that beautiful dyke!
Fapfapfap!
"Roast of Romney"- sounds like a dinner from Whoville.
Mission Accomplished, DNC.
My dad went to college on a GI Bill when I was in middle school.
My Dad did, too, when he got back from the Army. The GI Bill, along with what my grandfather could pay and my Dad working in the dining hall, meant that Dad got to study science instead of working in either a textile or wire mill.
Got my dad out of a coal mine and into a suit as an accountant.
Thank you vets!
Democrats are serving Combat Realness. It's inspiring, really (the speaker is just ok) but can we just end the wars already? Just because we have an army doesn't mean we have to use it all the time, right? There was such a thing as peace time, right?
We can show love to the troops by giving them a fucking vacation!
Yeah yeah, but what does the furniture think, Mr. Army Man?
Hey now, that's Mr. Navy Man!
I wonder if the Romney boy is getting loaded?
In a very, very quiet room, I would venture.
Thanks Vets!
Yes, Republicans:
However much you may want to minimize the achievement now, it remains a fact that Barack Obama, Democratic President of the United States, gave the order to kill Osama Bin laden and it was a success. Barack Obama made bringing Osama bin Laden to justice a priority.
This happened.
The Previous, Republican President – the one you've been so successful at hiding – did not. Not only that, he actually said in public that he "didn't think about him (bin Laden)", disbanded the office designated to bringing bin laden to justice and pulled troops out of the Afghan border area to fight an illegal, poorly planned war of choice.
This happened too.
So – who's the patriot, now?
Shouldn't someone be yelling at an empty chair soon?
I'm sure, somewhere, John McCain is.
John Kerry did that.
Thought that WWII vet was gonna pass out!
What this needs is Springsteen to show up and rock da house!
Or Betty White.
A fucking stump could upstage anything the GOP had to offer.
Even with Clint Eastwood talking to it for a quarter of an hour
Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!
Christie would eat his shorts. But then, he probably does that already.
Or Dylan doing "Leopard Skin Pill-Box Hat."
the Boss played in Madison on stage with Kerry days before the election in "04."
I'd rather see Niel Young or Alannis Morrisette or BTO
Also Allentown, PA.
Since the day it was a super, special, today only, secret, subscriber only down load from Amazon I have been hawking the WH people to use "We Take Care of Our Own." in the campaign. Totally went in the tank again, with another online contribution, when the Pres signed off his acceptance speech with it.
Wow, Florida is in the house tonight. Hope it helps push that swing state to the top…
No shortage of Latina knockouts, including Angie Flores, for Obama/Biden.
Fuck I just missed being comment 666 on this live blog. Now I will have to find a goat to sacrifice to appease our Parties true leader.
The Dems are pretty great at getting attractive people up on stage. Be still, my heart…
Jill, baby, Jill!
Jill Biden, "second lady"?
Odd way to put it.
I just saw my former boss in the audience !!!!!
MY former boss was on stage last night and another former boss will be on later tonight
I am mad enough to chew barb wire and spit nails.
That was one long bad trip.
Jill Biden's student is cute.
Dr. Jill! What a lucky lucky lady.
Oh, Rebecca. Obama can't get me pregnant now that I have my free government slutting-it-up pills!
Jill is covering a lot of bases–teacher, military mom and, oh, by the way, wife of the VP.
Dr. Jill Biden, or Todd Palin? Compare and contrast.
Yeah, well, I'd like to see her win the Iron Dog snow machine race!
One instructs at a Community college, the other takes his instructions from a Community College dropout.
Their IQs sum to more than 100, so there's that.
I bet she could learn to ride a snow machine. Could he learn to teach English at the college level?
No fair. He would first need to learn English.
Hahahahahaha!
Obviosity. Discuss.
Jill knows how to spell "dog sled."
I'd hit Jill. Go, Joe!
You not only get off, you get smarter.
Jill Biden has no experience – being a professor doesn't count according to the wanker party.
Jill Biden has perfect cheekbones.
Hot for teacher?
Hot for all the women who have appeared on stage tonight.
Seriously. Them Dems is hot.
I got my bottle of tequila and organic trail mix! What'd I miss?
And Jill Biden is still teaching; awesome.
Haven't heard from Biden or Obama and this night of the convention is already off the charts.
VAWA!!!!!!
Oh yeah, keep reminding the wommenz about how helpful Biden was on VAWA,. sister…
Violence Against Women Act? But I thought the War on Women was not real and just a distraction from the Real Issues (TM).
Joe passed the "She just wouldn't shut up" bill.
Joe & I are all about the womynz!
This story always gets me.
Yes – how awful that must have been.
It happened not far from my house. Delaware is weird like that. Very sad story.
OK now I'm starting to cry.
When she said "our boys" I was DONE, just done. What a family.
Oh yeah, that got me too. It seems they were very luckily in their eventual stepmother, in addition to Biden being a great single dad.
Awww, sb. You're so sweet.
Robots can't cry. Do you think Mitt Romney has ever cried? Hell no.
He might cry if someone ever hurts his great love; his beautiful sexy money.
Cayman Islands road trip! Well, boat trip. We're gonna go to the Caymans and fuck Mitt's money up, is what I'm saying.
Christ, I knew about the accident, but didn't know it was when they were getting a Christmas tree…
Fuck the Biden haters, hard, in the ass (with votes!)
Yeah, though I've heard the story before, and we were even talking about it here earlier tonight in this very thread, it still got me.
i suspect they won't see him coming. far too many of them think he's an idiot.
Hate to say this, but I hope Biden dies, so I can marry his widow.
You bastard! I've got dibs.
Sorry, you'll have to wait till I die. Or you will have to kill me.
Tempting…
With votes.
Of course!
Scranton…I could see Joe ruling the Office.
What I love is that some of her students don't even know who her husband is.
If I met someone named Biden, I might not assume he/she was a close relative of Joe's.
Compare the Wanker Party convention and this.
Too awesome.
At least that means they are only trickling on each other.
Damn. Still at work. Missing all the fireworks.
*sniff* Damn sinuses.
Joe is bringing the SEXXY back to Catholicism.
God damn I like that Joe Biden. He seems like a guy I could have ten beers with.
How are they going to make cheesy videos when all the vintage footage is hi-res digital files.
Couple of interns and Instagram should get the job done.
Naw mang, that's some Spielberg shit right there.
Duh, just use some software to make it look old.
Cheater.
Filters.
Bits rot after a while, it balances out.
The Biden's had a crazy relative living with them too ! (We had Aunt Vi)
My family has a crazy relative living with them too! (Unfortunately, it's me)
we had them too!
Nobody's better than you and you're not better than anyone. Words to live by. But man I hate the GOP.
Who said that? I told you, thats what I said in my dad's eulogy, fuck,, who said that?
Joe Biden, of course. I remembered your eulogy story, I promise.
I love Handsome Joe, I know I have told this story before, but my mother died when she was 32, I was 8 and my brother was 10 and my dad, God love him, was a terrible parent, really clueless and pretty much neglected us so I have always really felt for Joe who also being left widowed with young children was a wonderful parent., by all accounts, just a really great man.
Sorry 'bout your mom, LL.
We all survived! It was a very crazy childhood, though. Thanks
Goofball VP rules!
Now, this middle class video is a NICE way of both acknowledging that lots of people are still suffering economically and that the Dems have a much better plan to carve a path forward…
Romney's dad made that walk.
Down the hall to the Drawing Room to tell Mitt he needed to go to France for a while.
Anyone who doesn't love Joe Biden after this film is an asshole.
I'm sure we'll see them assholes all over the place by morning. What a bunch of assholes.
Everytime I hear about Joe Biden losing his first family I want to weep like a baby.
I forgot that story-hearing it again is a reminder of what this man went through and what kind of person he is
Fruit popsicle in a bowl (mine is acai blueberry but any flavor will do), nuke for 30 seconds. Pour into martini glass with two ice cubes, one ounce of 100 proof vodka. Use stick to stir. Just sayin'
Sounds like the "trash can punch" they'd serve at mixers in the guy's dorms, except they used Everclear
affordable 100 proof vodka at Wash state prices IS everclear.
Are you a fellow Northwesterner?
Well, after 50 years in the miserable east, I've now lived on Puget Sound for 4 years. Three on Bainbridge and one in Bummertown (so close to PSNS I hear bugle sounds at dawn and dusk)
Sounds delicious. My god kids are gonna love that shit, but they'll be passed out before they can truly enjoy it. Oh well, more for me
I like Joe Biden because he's just about the only Senator who didn't get richer while in office.
That took effort, character, or tremendous bad look, but good on him.
and TRAIN!
The Democrats go into office to do good. The Republicans go into office so they'll do well.
Biden/Warren 2016
Bring on Uncle Joe!
GODDAMMIT JOE QUIT MAKING ME CRY
(Hands MittRomney's fine lawn handkerchief to i'Tuna) There, there, dear.
And he fucking survived brain cancer.
So, how much is Paul Ryan looking forward to debating Handsome Joe?
How much is Boehner looking forward to contracting melanoma?
Uh huh. I hope that smarmy bastard gets ulcers.
It's not like he has a choice about THAT, Mike.
You notice he's taken to wearing brown pants lately?
I imagine that Rasmussen will have hard time tomorrow lying about how this race is virtually tied in the polls.
No. No they won't.
This.
And to think, I spent the past few weeks worrying if the Dem convention would work out.
These people have something called "character". They want to do good, not just do well.
Bock?
"Teachers should be lifted up, not torn down" – take that, Chris Christie!
and "Father of an Iraq war veteran" – take that, Mittens!
I heard it as "father of an erect war veteran," but I think that was just wishful thinking on my part…
Ah for fuck's sake they can't be serious about this drivel
Say, how many of the Republican ticket's kids have served in Iraq?
In the words of Dean Wormer – zero point zero
NOTK!
I am LOVING hearing Biden go on about how optimistic he is about America overcoming obstacles. Nice contrast to the doom and gloom crowd last week…
joey!
Joey! Joey!
we play well together
I didn't know Joe Biden had died until I saw that video.
Resurrectol(tm)- for fast, temporary relief of death.
Oh here we go. Come on Joe. F-BOMB! F-BOMB! DOOOO ITTTT! I love you!
Did you and Joe want to be alone?
Are you going to throw your panties on stage?
baby, if I wore panties, them thangs would be alllll throwed…
Touché!
Fire all the Trans Ams at once, and explode into space!
"Michelle, you're on camera! Give him a thumbs-up!"
So Joe Boxers will be cool again?
Because that was a knockout,
And we haven't even gotten to the main attraction of the evening.
Needs less LOVE and more RESPECT.
Oh, and F*CK Chrisco Christy.
Doesn't part of you just want him to come roaring out on stage in his Camero, yellin' "WOOOO?"
Now we're rolling!
Aw, Jillie… now I'm cryin'
Hey, Barack just sent me a personal email asking me to kick in 25 bucks! Where does he find the fucking time!?! What a multi-tasker!!!
also: pregnant.
he only asked me to kick in 13.
you must be the 1%.
I got asked for $65 for the Pres(don't know who asked me) and Senator Barb asked me for $3(???) for Ben Cardin. So I' rich and I'm poor
Fun fact. Phyllis Schafly and some other conservatives oppose the Violence Against Women Act.
That's not fun :(
But it is a fact:
Phyllis Schlafly called the Violence Against Women Act a slush fund “used to fill feminist coffers” and challenged Republicans to oppose this legislation that promotes “divorce, breakup of marriage and hatred of men.”
http://feministing.com/2012/03/19/women-dems-push…
Asshole.
Ugh. What a fucking bigot. Self hating woman? WTF?
"Look at my wife. Isn't she a piece of ass?"
KITTEN?! Swoon. Full. On.
Aw, Joe's tribute to his wife is sweet…
Someone's getting blown tonight
Joe might be gettin some tonight
I asked her out FIVE AND A HALF TIMES, ALAN!
FIVE AND A HALF PROPOSALS! Hee; love Joe's humor.
Darn these ninjas that just snuck in and started slicing onions….
Your place too? They're everywhere!
Dusty onions
What is it with these loving Democratic couples and their happy marriages? So kinky.
Shouldn't they be hiring hookers to make them wear diapers?
They must know something that Newt doesn't.
the love of my life and the life of my love.
i approve and dr jill is one lucky beautiful lady.
OMG, Joe. "You're the love of my life and the life of my love"
I've got to remember that. The wife's asleep, so she'll think it's an original.
Joe Biden, National Treasure!
Bush I, Qualye, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, Joe Biden–VPs of the past 25 years. Who would you want to share a bottle of 12-year-old Scotch with and shoot the shit?
Winner, hands fucking down–Joe Fucking Biden.
Plus Joe doesn't drink, so you get all the Scotch to yourself.
Joe drinks Jameson, I believe.
Joe's a tea totaller. Grew up seeing alcohol problems of adults in his extended family.
Does he like windowpane?
Sorry. I slipped the last tab into Chuck Todd's coffee.
He's got about 30 -35 minutes.
What about Mondale? Old Fritz liked to tip them back, I heard.
Amen.
I thought Rebecca said the guys at the convention weren’t hot, Joe just oozes sex.
"A mission we will complete"
Yes!
thank God he didn't say"accomplished."
betcha somebody made sure of that
First gaffe, Michelle when you spoke about him last night, er the night before.
He is an olde, he forgets what day it is!
he's an embarrassment to the nation.
Worse. Than. Hitler.
History's greatest monster!
God bless Old Handsome Joe
Sincerity just kind of oozes out of Joe… it is a good ooze.
Rebecca, I am an old, and I can tell you that BEFORE he was veep, Hubert Humphrey was very beloved. Not so much after.
The Happy Warrior.
The treacherous, gutless old ward-heeler.
"Hubert the Hump has coughed and hawked
And spat on the street where Lincoln walked…"
"Four years ago, the middle class was already losing ground, and then the bottom fell out."
GOOD way to remind everyone that W was fucking up the economy even before the 2008 economic implosion…
He's going to pulverize Ryan
It's going to be brilliant!
Absolutely! Must-see TV.
"Let me tell you about my friend Barack Obama." Joe is flying tonight.
"literally," Joe? Oh, my. Another gaffe.
He must be replaced tonight!
Get Hillary up there NOW!!!!
You can't catch the big fish w/out a gaffe.
Damnit. Still stuck at work and Im missing old handsome joe. Might make it in time for Bamz.
Not the same, of course, but everything goes up on cspan.org real quick…
More fun to participate in the live bloggery. Should be done pouring shit beer for slobs soon though.
Way to remind the wingnuts about feet on the desk, Joe!
Pensive Joe is ultra-cool.
JezusH, BeccaLou, wut kind of time-sense is THIS, man? You SAID 9 o'clock!
Z,I know I told you to come here, but I might fall asleep soon. If so, I love you, and I'll read this thread tomorrow to see how things went. I'm tryin' stay up, tho.
OH NOEOEOEOES! I can't find you.Sometimes I hate ID.(Hugs you)
And here I felt bad missing the first haf-hour or so waiting until 8.
Michelle is just barely holding it together
Paul Ryan? Who the hell is Paul Ryan?
I'm literally picturing Jill Biden nude.
JOE FUCKIN BIDEN.
I assume that "enormity of his heart" is an euphemism?
Only "heart". The rest is literal.
To answer your question, Ms. Becky — maybe Hubert "The Happy Warrior" Humphrey, who had the same passion about civil rights and the same goofy optimism. Too bad he couldn't bring himself to break with LBJ on Vietnam.
No, I am not starting to cry again, there is just something in my eye.
He's not VP material in the GOP universe.
Oh God, this story about Joe's papa having to go away to get work is going to make me cry…
Well Becks. There was Cheney. Agnew Nixon. All beloved veeps by a segment of the whackadoodle world.
Preach it, Joe!
"A job is a lot more than a paycheck" — then Joe's crescendo with dignity, and a better life. Contrast with "I like to fire people."
Why didn't the Republicans feature Staples employees expressing their devotion to their jobs and the Staples mission? (Yeah, I've never met one, either.)
That's because they are grossly overworked because the assholes who run Staples are penny pinching jerks who won't hire enough people to provide decent customer service.
And in a related story:
Staples indicates weakness ahead
http://www.retailingtoday.com/article/staples-ind…
(Yeah, go ahead, try to blame it on the economy instead of your own inept management, assholes…)
Joe =gaffes
eddie munster=lies
goddamned onion-slicing ninjas AGAIN?
Simultaneous orgasms in row 1…
"He always steps up."
Hell yeah — I was certain no Democratic president was gonna try to tackle healthcare after 1994. Obama has gone after all the difficult shit during his time in office.
Dog forbid, If Obama dies, I'm OK with Joe taking over.
I don't recall the Republicans talk about having actual jobs. (Selling stock to pay for grad school doesn't count.)
Go Lunchbox Joe!
Biden states 4.5 million jobs since taking office, the figure was 4.3 the other night — adding 200k jobs in August? Numbers come out tomorrow, izat hand-tipping Joe?
I've been hearing 4.5 consistently. The fact checkers are bending over backwards to try to make it a partial truth, by saying that there's still a net loss of jobs since December 2008.
Why I always respond with the bikini graph: http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/wp-content/upload…
The talking point is 4.5 private sector jobs. Which some have shortened to 4.5 million jobs, which is still true, but gives more traction to the claims that this is disingenuous if you look at net numbers. Of course, those nit pickers never say that the net numbers are based on the staggering losses of public sector jobs, never mind that those losses are directly attributable to GOP policies and obstructionism.
So to recap, the GOP wants small government and an expanding private sector, but the fact the economy has shed government jobs (because of their actions) and gained private sector jobs makes Obama an evil socialist tax and spend fascist. And now my rage meter has hit 11.
Again with the auto industry rescue. We're not about to let America forget about that, are we? Good…
HA! BeccaLou. HandsomeOldJoeBiden just copped to being TOTES in love wiv yelly JennyFenny Granholm.
Yup, saving the USA auto companies is & was A BIG FUCKING DEAL!
Despite the tremendous downsizing and all the pain in that, you know Romney would have sold GM and Chrysler for scrap, probably bringing down Ford in the process.
"Let me tell you about how Barack Obama saved more than a million jobs."
Gather the younguns by the fire, folks, and warm up some cider!
And then we decided, fuck that plant in Janesville, Wisconsin.
retroactively, to 3 months before we took office.
i'm hearing a bit of anthony in this wind up ('so are they all, all honorable men').
"Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot. Take thou what course thou wilt!"
So is Wonkette officially pro Barry? We need speeches.
Watch C-SPAN. There are some mighty good ones running on that channel.
I can't really take all the pageantry and empty promises. The Democratic party has let me down repetitively.
And you'll be better with republicans? Clearly you aren't female or brown.
But he's so much purer, and voting Green to make Romney win will somehow magically make the Democrats go super-left-wing in 2016!
or intelligent
You know just having criticism and cynicism about the empty babbling up on stage is not an endorsement of the Republican Party.
Wonkette might be slightly left of center (hate to speak for anyone but myself) as long as there is an open bar. Lose the booze and we might see some Randian tendencies.
Ha ha, no it's just too much effort to snark reality. You can do the GOP stuff while you are five sheets to the wind and still beat any "real" balanced blog on the planet!
Don't get me wrong, as far as I'm concerned it's the party of meh vs. the party of CRAZY. Plus they do hold fast on social issues, I just want to see some economic impact.
They have to try and win the fight, but there's so many with so much in the party that they won't work against their best interests. A real problem.
am I doing something wrong because I have to keep reloading and going to page ten and scrolling to find my post and read the responses and i just can't even rageface
"Last Activity" is your friend.
I already told the Boss I wouldn't be in tomorrow. Cough, cough.
Oh I LOVE how Biden is driving home the point that Obama was willing to take a risk to save the auto industry…the undercurrent being "unlike that chicken Mittens"…
OK, a correct counterbalancing CORRECT use of "literally." You may leave the corner now.
Biden's eyes are tearing up talking about his da – ya gotta love the Irish.
Oh FFS. Let's get to Hopey soon. I'm a sleepy old.
It's not even ten o'clock yet!
It's not even seven o'clock on the west coast!
I know. I'm old, and like to get up early, but imma try to hang in.
It's the bicycling, innit?
I heard this story at a Chamber of Commerce breakfast, me and maybe 20 people, from another guy who was in the room–the 3rd classiest guy in government, my senator Dick Durbin.
Mitt Romney grew up in Detroit. Here it comes . . .
trans am libel!
This is as good a time as any to recommend, as a great book about the automobile industry, the rust belt and the struggles in Flint when Michael Moore was making Roger and Me – Rivethead, by one of the guys who made a brief appearance in that movie.
He's not a bad guy. He's just a guy who's bad.
He's really a shithead.
He's just a big fuckin asshole.
Oh, I love hearing Joe go on about "I'm sure Mitt is a good guy." Flip side of that "we don't hate Obama, we're just disappointed in him" crap from last week…
Romney saw the auto industry the Bain way – bring it on home now Joe….
WTF? John Kerry?
John Kerry FINALLY comes outta the hospital and puts one theirs in the MORGUE!!@
kinda late but the quality of the comment more than makes up for it. bravo
CEO =/= Commander in Chief. Way to go, Joe…
"The Bain way" is not the way to lead the country. BOOM!
Joe just torpedoed Mitt's yacht.
Right outta Cracker Bay!
Nice dig at Bain styled thinking. Go sweet joe.
the not "downsizing the American Dream" ?– yeah, double-punch.
"Another son of another automobile man…Mitt Romney"
Oh damn. And with that, Mitt's nuts ascend.
The Bain Way will make "your" firm go away. Stop saying they are "good people," they are not. I love you Joe, but we have GOT TO STOP being polite and start face-punching.
That's just the velvet glove on the iron fist
I understand the bless your heart talk, but I just do not fundamentally believe Mitt Romney or any of the vultures like him are good. I don't believe it. I think they are evil selfish life destroying monsters.
"Never do any enemy a small injury for they are like a snake which is half beaten and it will strike back the first chance it gets."
Machiavelli
Don't I fucking know it, someday I will tell you why. Its a fucking hoot.
Maybe Mitt is just…well, you know, kinda soulless.
Ripping apart Mitt on his desire to let the auto industry die; awesome.
Because profit. That's the real killer.
Conviction! Resolve! Barack Obama!
CARBON!
ok how the fuck many signs do we need for this convention?
Can't resist…AOTK…
I can't wait for the "Hitler Responds to the DNC" meme on You-tube.
Good line there, Joe. How would America look to investors if Detroit had gone to shit?
""Literally"! Drink, Dok!
"Literally" – Drink!
Barack understood that taking out Osama was about revenge – just say it Joe. We will FUCK YOU UP.
And yep, Obama still got Osama.
OT — So I'm standing in line at the post office this morning, and ahead of me was an older Black gentlemen wearing a neat "Navy Vets for Obama & Biden" cap who was making some funny snarky remarks about that idiot Todd Akin and his "legitimate rape" remarks to a young lady who hadn't heard abut it. Most of us in line vocally agreed with him or nodded their heads yes. It was a scene out of a Capra movie.
Awesome.
That's one of the reasons I love the post office.
And why the GOP will destroy it. They hate that community stuff.
If you see him again, please thank him for his service to the nation. Oh, and also for being in the Navy.
Democratic crowd chanting USA USA. Republican heads exploding nationwide.
O.K. Hopey just texted me he's coming up, so I'm tuning in to see what he's going to do. I've reached an appropriate gin and tonic level (but if the wife asks, answer "two – he's had two" always). Now to find the least wonky livefeed.
"If you murder innocent Americans, we will follow you to the ends of the earth."
And then we will shoot you in the eye in front of your wife and kids. Don't forget that part, Joe.
Wives and kids.
It's the Chicago way.
U!S!A! U!S!A! U!S!A! (BTW, I honestly don't know the ratio of snark-to-serious in that.)
Oh, you KNOW the Reeps are going to start going off and accusing us of politicizing getting OBL. Can't wait to hear the rants…
OK, for half a second there I thought that killing Bin Laden was about US autoworkers too…
Chico Tweeted:
General Motors is alive & Sarah Palin's political career is dead. #DNC2012
Love you, girlfriend!
Loving you back! Good to see you, as always.
Yay again!
The finest warriors in the history of the world? Joe, the Gurkhas might be ringing you up a little later.
The Romans might have something to say.
As may the Golden Horde
And the Achaemenid Persian army.
Ooooo I got chicken skin listening to this – justice was done!
Smashmouth DNC. Bring it, mofos! Yes, we built this.
"He said "Do it!" and justice was done!"
Oh yes!
A little late to the party, but how was that Jennifer Granholm? Jenny from the Block FTW. She is the still the governess of my heart, fuck you Rick "Tough Nerd" Snyder.
fiery! good!
Almost everyone has been great tonight; the only real dud was the Montana Governor.
I'm sure Ed Schultz was a fan.
Since the other contender for worst speaker of the convention was the Maryland Governor O'Malley on Tuesday, I'd say it's a problem with old white dudes, but then Biden is knocking it out of the park, and reportedly Clinton did too.
And he was only very good.
May she someday be our first Canadian President
She fuckin killed it.
JFC I am in love with that woman. Please, Michigan, send her to the Senate or something. And I hope she has several relatives who take after her who are also interested in running for office…
She has two college-aged daughters.
There has always been talk that she'll run for Levin's seat if he ever decides to step down. It's good she's out of the state, at the moment, though. She had to deal with a legislature that hated her guts. Even her Democratic Spaker of the House back in 2006 didn't respect her, and basically ignored her. There was a lot of sexism directed at her being our first female governor in all. Her time here reminds me of what Obama has had to deal with. Basically, you grind government to a halt, and than blame all that you have obstructed on the governor.
Gawd, you do not know how hard she tried. But, it's because of her that our economy is diversified enough, now, that we have a footing from which to build on. She was the first government that made the very hard choice to look beyond the auto industry, solely, for our economic future. And, now, Governor Snyder is taking credit for shit she started.
Wow. Joey is bringing down the house, isn't he? What's remaining after Gov. Granholm finished her speech.
Tonight is making this old girl feel high on life!
I once was an innocent kit
wotthehell wotthehell
with a ribbon my neck to fit
and bells tied onto it
o wotthehell wotthehell
but a maltese cat came by
with a come hither look in his eye
and a song that soared to the sky
and wotthehell wotthehell
and i followed adown the street
the pad of his rhythmical feet
o permit me again to repeat
wotthehell wotthehell
my youth i shall never forget
but there s nothing i really regret
wotthehell wotthehell
there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai
–"the song of mehitabel"
I believe this is called "cashing in."
Velvet Shiv is my new roller derby team name.
I love derby girl names.
Checks and balances says $1B for 1 dead guy is not a good investment.
Doesn't contribute to the bottom line.
This is a Jed Bartlett level of oratory!
Getting a little too GOP for my taste. But it'll sway a few on "The Undecided". Or "The Idiots", as I like to call them.
Damn! Mom. What next? Apple Pie?
..and a smile on his face… Biden is killing it!!! Hooray!
The wound in my heart was healed by a bullet and a burial at sea. – Jesus H. Biden
Osama dead, GM alive.
Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive!
Say it, Joe, again and again!
i think this is a better convention than the republican convention.
"think"?
Let's not get carried away.
I am interested in these ideas and would like to hear more. Is there a brochure?
Yes, in the same sense that the Sun is brighter than the inside of a cat at the bottom of a coal mine at midnight.
i think water is more thirst-quenching than sand.
I guess we're the war party now…
Let us reason together… http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thu…
Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive.
Good point, bears repeating
Jeebus, that robot Mittens, Scowly Ryan & all their boring BS, & all this humaness all over the place here. Vote Human!
"They didn't have the courage to tell you what call they'd make." Sweet.
And the linkage of the auto industry to getting OBL is genius, BTW…
You read my mind, brilliant!
Here's to you Mrs Robinson –
Thank you!
Woo woo woo.
Gotta lerve the First Granny!
Michelle Obama's mom seems rad as hell.
Paul Ryan said he grew up reading Ayn Rand, and that her books taught him about his value system and beliefs. Ryan has disputed that admission quite often and now distances himself from Rand. We can now identify that–Atlas Shrugged–as Ryan's gateway drug to his addiction to republican controls and power.
I'm not sure if Joe Biden had a gateway drug to Democracy and tolerance, but if he did, he wouldn't fucking lie about it.
…and yet, Ryan wants you to think he's a strong Catholic. Rand and Catholicism are pretty close to opposite of each other.
OBL is dead and GM is alive? Wooohooo … the wingnut blowhards at Faux are already busting an artery. Joe better be wearing his Nomex tomorrow.
"Vouchercare…that's not courage…that's not even truthful"
Love him!
joe and the hunting of the snark.
"Now back in Scranton, where I come from, we'd have called the Republicans a bunch of pussies. And then knocked them on their asses."
I like watching folks that can speak for more than 3 minutes and keep me riveted.
Simpson-Bowles still sucks!
Is it just going to be the wrong thread? I just hope all these comments don't break IntenseDebate like we did the night of Mittens' speech.
1100 comments, and Hopey hasn't even come on yet.
And now I see again I made a stupid mistake, yet can't correct it because there's a reply! Feeling dumb now.
Time for some red meat–rip Romney/Ryan and all the GOP at Tampa convention. Go for it, Joe.
JFC I am all over Joe calling the Reeps a bunch of chickenshit liars…
i predict there will be whining on the right tomorrow.
You are just Captain Obvious, tonight, aren't you? lol
Well, it will be a day, so of course.
Romney hates Amurica!
Gonna have to be a foreign trip! LMAO!
"Romney said he would take a jobs tour. But with his support for outsourcing, it's gonna have to be a foreign trip"
Love it!
It will require the same passport as his money.
It'll have to be a foreign trip! excellent!
I'm finally home and well groomed, just in time for my impregnation! And yes, I'm quaffing.
PS – Editrix, thanks for the video!
Meh,
I love Joe Biden scripted, unscripted, drunk, and naked. I'd hug Joe Biden naked and kiss him on the mouth and you know what, motherfuckers? It would be totes manly, because Joe Biden.
Edit: And for the gay guys in the room, you would too and you know exactly what I mean, even though you might get a little wood.
What? Is Joe saying that our national interest might have something to do with taking care of our citizens?
Fuckin' Commie!
Pinko. No doubt.
Hahaha 'foreign trip' line. The whiskey's talking now, ahh Joe, I wanna pour him a Jameson's. Shit, I think I'll pour me one.
I'm joining you. Only it's Rum, because I'm living on the Gulf.
A martooni here
Aw fuck, now I gotta pour me one!
"Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive."
I've been watching politics for a long time. In all honesty I can not believe that the Republicans totally threw away this meme. Political memes don't get any more powerful than this.
What were they thinking?
When Joe chanted this with the crowd in downtown Detroit on Labor Day, they nearly fainted from excitement.
And a quick glance at the comments from the haters on HuffyPo confirms that Joe is on a roll tonight…sorry, trolls, you've got nothing on this man…
can't keep up?
We are all immigrants tonight!
Fathers for daughters!
does that sound weird?
What's she look like?
I thought the Republicans were the Culture of Depends.
David Vitter Libel!
"Working class"? Drink!
"…every father's bottom line." Family values.
I flashed on my old man holding a belt when he said that.
K-Lo doesn't require equal pay and neither should you!
Hell ,she doesn't deserve it.
It LITERALLY amazes me that they don't understand why working together as a nation for all our citizens does not create a culture of dependency like making sure people have nothing does, too Joe, it really does.
Oh! Oh! Oh, Biden, don't stop! Don't STOP!!!
Oh! Oh! Oh…
Ahhh, shit, my pants are STILL missing…
Yow, Biden invokes America-Number-One-Pander-Express and the crowd LOVES IT!
"there's just one more thing I can't understand…" is how Columbo traditionally introduces the coup de grace
""Oh, uh, one more thing…"
Nice. After Obama's sweaty speech and postcoital smoke Imma gonna hafta watch some Peter Falk.
When I did useta haveta go to court, I always played the Peter Falk, "Gee, can you just explain to me, maybe I didn't get it. . . ."
Why did they never do a Columbo vs. Matlock crossover while they were still alive?!
"You didn't give up — you got up." Yeeeeha!
Stand up, get up, stand up for your rights!
Gil Scott Heron
Requiescat in pace, Gil.
What, no link?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7iXcKKpdx0
(I like the live version, myself…)
"You didn't lose faith, you got up…and you deserve a president who will never quit on you!"
Fuck the haters–go Joe!
Literally!
Drink!
Goddamn. Who's excited for the Biden/Ryan debate?
Hell yeah. Joe the Biden is going to marmalize him.
That GD Scowling bastard is going to get so much fairy dust & facts thrown at him he won't know what hit him!
Hopefully, Ryan will breakdown and cry. Or faint. Either would be fine.
Or challenge Joe to a push-up contest. And lose.
Fired up! Ready to snark!
God knows, I lost a ton of $$ in the miracle of the Bush economy.
Joey referencing what his dad said "You get back up."
Ryan's gonna have a sad when they lose Wisconsin, let's hope Zerban can take his seat as well.
me, the day ryan was selected "that guy's a jackass"
Nice twist of the knife, nailing the Republicans on betting against America.
Yeah, wave your finger and school 'em, Uncle Joe!!
"It's never been a good bet to bet against the American people–never!"
"And we have no intention of downsizing the American dream!"
Tell 'em, Joe!
I don't know WHICH way we're going!!!??!!
Forward.
"no intent of downsizing the American dream" good line.
"No intention of downsizing the American dream." Now he's just stomping on Mitt's bloody corpse.
"No intention of downsizing the American dream." Damn that rings.
"Downsizing the American Dream" – awesome soundbite.
Don't regret a tab of acid, Rebecca — especially now when the good shit's so hard to find.
This may have been said already, but to quote Wesley Snipes, "Always bet on black."
Damn! That's what I've doing wrong. I always put my money on green.
After these speeches, if anyone truly believes that the Republican Party is a minstream party, they will have to have their heads checked.
"Promote the private sector, not the privileged sector." Ouch!
Ya gotta love his fuckin' extemporaneous speech – I love ya Joe
Anyone else as impressed as I am…with the ability of Joe's plugs to stay in place?
I bet he'll be doing some pluggin' later tonight…
"…promote the private sector, not the privileged sector"
THIS.
Now THAT'S a bumper sticker.
I've never watched Handsome Joe speak so closely before. He is Hell on wheels.
Also: This is the most Patriotic and the least Nationalistic convention that I've ever seen.
Ok I’m ready to march on Canada, who’s with me?
Winter's coming. How about we raise a flotilla and take on the Bahamas or maybe the British Virgin Islands instead.
With drinks wiv little floaty brollies and stuff?
Geneva Convention states that armies invading Canada are limited to 4 wonkettes, a nurse, and 3 brew masters.
I'm in! And why are we doing this???
Um, the beer?
Just bring Obama with you. We don't have anyone as cool as he is.
If we really wanted to go with this level playing field stuff, we'g remit all inheritances to the gov't and make everybody start at zero. Wouldn't that be interesting.
I'm inheriting an electric roaster and some Hummels. You'll have to pry them from my cold dead hands.
Does that include the sour cream glasses from the 60s?
Tonight, we are all a big fucking deal.
"Private Sector, not the Privileged Sector"
Joe kicks out the jams. Amazing speech.
"Private sector not privileged sector." Kick 'em again Joe.
Women control their own healthcare? That's crazy talk!
The Future, Conan?
The only compliment Ryan gave Mitt was to make fun of the elevator music on his iPod.
I wish this was HBO so he could fucking cuss.
You go, Michelle, clapping proud, clapping fine.
Game fuckin' over. It's a wrap. Real people solving real problems in real time. Period. This ain't no joke; this is real.
Mentions exact figures of dead and wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan. Republican heads explode again.
Because he actually checks the numbers, and knows them. Repubs don't know the price of milk.
No that would be figurative.
Man, if there isn't a new thread before the main attraction, the page-numbers may run out of space.
Stop crying Joe and introduce Bamz
The journey of hope is not yet finished, but we are on our way.
YES!!!
This is a man who believes in what he is trying to do. That's an inspiration to anyone and everyone.
I know I'll be like the 38th person to say this, but that was a big fucking deal…
Yes, he is a big fucking deal! Dang, these people are fired up.
I just need someone to tell whiny David Brooks to shut up. He really is getting whiner by the moment.
CSPAN!
He doesn't have much left he can do but whine
Can't be said enough Cally.
Joe's getting some tonight!
I'll bet Willard ain't.
Willard ain't getting'"it" at all
He'll get plenty on his next planet.
It's a shame Mittster is a Mormon because he should be seriously drinking…
Chris Matthews lovin him some Joe Biden.
I'd contribute a hundred bucks immediately if Joe went and tracked down Ryan somewhere, like in the halls of Congress, and kicked him square in the nuts. That would be really cool.
I'm guessing that he's planning on doing that gratis.
Literally.
Hopefully, on November 7th. And I hope he adds a bitch slap to it.
i'd give 10,000.
A look straight in Ryan's eye, then a punch square to the jaw
You're presuming facts not in evidence, namely that Ryan has any nuts to be kicked.
$100? Fuck, I''d kick in $1000: that's what cash advances are for. What's a 29% interest rate compared to something utterly priceless?
My mom must be fappin' right about now.
Julian?
this is the conviction that we need. why the hell don't we see more of this?
these three days have been amazing.
Hell of a barnburner there from Joe.
Holy fuckin' shit. Biden setting that place on FIRE, he is.
Gotta pour a fresh drink, pre-Bamz.
At times clunky and soaring — but always sincere. I know the Republicans are going to grab hold of that "the job is not finished" or whatever bit at the end, but Joe's sincerity when talking about the troops and their sacrifice, and the real courage of President Obama's choices and decisions really rang wonderfully.
I hope Joe didn't get me preggers before obama has a chance.
Dick Durbin = Plan B
Two words: Dizygotic twins. Two eggs are released and one is fertilized by O and the other by Joe.
And don't turn on the teevee tommorrow, any view of Mitthead or Sh*tface(Ryan) would work like a morning-after pill on your lady parts.
but you know, joe. dumb. paul ryan. smart.
I like this meme. Lemme give it a go. obama. sexy. mitt romney. evil fucking tosser.
How'd I do?
Zach Carter @zachdcarter
FACTCHECK: Romney did not bet against the American people. He took a short position in a synthetic credit default swap. #dnc2012
Alright, here comes the headliner.
Dick Durbin?
Zell Miller
Foo Fighters!
Will they play Freebird?
Even they can't make that song not suck.
Our lovable, flawed, but mostly HUMAN American Hero, Joe! Did you know Joe has an Einstein level IQ? But, the most important quality Joe has is his Emotional, HUMAN IQ!
Nothing like Dick Durbin to calm things down.
That smiling bastard always has creeped me out.
dick durbin is a rather unsung warrior i always think.
Dick Durbin comes to my little local chamber of commerce every year and talks to us like grownups. No security, first names on the name tags, one-on-one and looks you in the eye. This is the guy who made me a Democrat.
HA! me too. he's been my senator for as long as i can remember.
which is a long time….
Hee, Chris Mathews re: Joe "he's the schmaltzy brother who always sings at the weddings" hahaha Our Joe.
Never regret the acid.
Words to live by.
Never be ant-acid.
True story: in 1998 I met this skinny black guy touring the music school I worked at. He was some sort of elected local official and he had a funny name. I just sat at my desk and said, yeah, uh, whatever, gotta a lotta work to do here.
Slowly pounds head against wall.
At least you are not a Republican.
Are you?
Last I checked I was the last person on the planet who regretted the end of communism.
so short answer- no.
I met him back when he was running for State Senate, as I was a college student at U of C; voted for him in my very first election. He was awesome back then.
Rebecca, can we have a new thread please?
I second this motion.
Your wish has been granted!
Huzzah!
Oh HELL no, we're going for the record!
Forward!
shes probably drunk now or macking with Handsome Joe right now probably
thanks. i can't keep up with all of you on page 13.
Pretty please?
Just got home. Why is Bob Scheifer on during Barrys intro? WTF?
If I ever speak at a convention, I want the Prince intro, too.
Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act FTW!
I was hoping Rep. Raul Grijalva might speak tonight, but I guess they used up their moustache quota yesterday.
New thread is up, kids!
Now if only comments worked properly on it!
I've got to start shutting things down before Hopey speaks. Someoone let me know tomorrow how it went tonight. Is the DVR copy of the speech worth watching?
Nite, all. (I didn't call you potty-mouther losers nor did I say "Later, losers."
You're welome!
I wonder if Romney is watching. If so, he's probably crying like a little girl.
He has servants to do that for him.
Hey!
Hiiiiiii!
I guess so. Even without a heart, the Tin Man was able to cry.
He claims he didn't watch anything so far. If he watched this, he's not just crying, he's shitting blood.
No Barney Frank? Did I miss this?? I do love me some Barney Frank
I want to murder all these fuckers so I can hear what Dick Durbin is saying.
"..and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!"
Oh jeez. Clooney is narrating. That sound you hear, American men, is American women fapping.
Sorry about the noise, but I can't find a quieter vibrator that gets the job done…
Menage a trois. You, George and Barry.
People are still fans of his work in The Facts of Life?
DAYUM the Dems are pushing the auto rescue.
The Reeps are going to start shouting "it wasn't a rescue, it was a bailout! Bailout! BAILOUT!!!" just to try to detract from it…
Not the sagest choice–Dick Durbin to deflate the room.
New Rule: Let the GOP prance out their cavalcade of Dicks.
New lead story on Wonkette's home page. See you all there.
Balls having the idiots demonstrating against the healthcare bill, proving his mettle.
Let's see if O can top Joe.
So, is Obama going to step down and give the nomination to Hillary just to mess with Dick Morris?
Dick Morris writes slash fiction about Obama and Hillary's toes.
Ya know, I'm hetero, but I want to fuck that man. In a nice smooth Al Green/Barry White kind of way.
They shoulda had the Dropkick Murphys play Biden out onto the stage.
Irish fucking scorn is the deepest scorn there is.
Too right!
He accepts the nomination!!!
Inhaling extra deep for Barry.
I don't remember people randomly shouting "I love you Mitt!" at the GOP Convention.
Haha, that would be INSANE
"Everyone plays by the same rules from main street to wall street" *coughs* bullshit! *coughs*
torturers ahem cough
The GOP really is like an imploring junkie on the tax cut issue. Just one more fix, "Just one more tax cut, I swear, I'll create jobs tomorrow! This is the last time, I mean it."
I wonder if everyone's hands are getting sore from all that clapping yet.
Where in Kenya is this "America" he keeps talking about?
The Anti-colonial Mao Mao areas.
Barry is pro-science, yay!
i really like the math and science teachers bit.
thingee. positive.
"Further commenting on this page has been disabled by the blog admin. " – Uh-oh, it looks like the new thread has still broken the internet.
Oh good — I thought it was just my internet that was broken.
yeah, I thought it was my fault
Same here, then there were a few comments talking about the thread fucking up, then there were no new ones. It's not just you!
I think our Editrix is having acid-flashback blog maintenance problems.
The mice running the wheels that feed the servers at Wonkeritaville must be nearly exhausted.
"Americans who served in harms way." I'm assuming he is talking about bankers?
How dare Obama be so anti-American so as to talk about the troops. You would never catch the Republican Candidate doing that.
we broke the wonkettes.
i guess we were fated to be on this page all along.
Let's do the time warp again!
Let's do the Cold War Mind Warp again!
Jinx.
Triple jinx!
Great minds, eh?
Must be an obvious joke when three of us make it at the same time; but eh I still like it.
oh snap – barry's gettin nasty.
Swords to plowshares….