HOT MESS  2:41 pm September 6, 2012

A Children’s Treasury Of Random Wackadoodles Standing Outside The DNC, Plus Victoria Jackson

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Jesus wants to sex you goodHere have some goddamn pictures. After this we are taking a nap, and then we will get up and live bloog Barry Bamz making sweat love to your earholes.

First in line for a rapebortion!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 453 comments }

ChernobylSoup September 6, 2012 at 2:43 pm

No, communist demon rat snake abhor tion sodom TO YOU.

JerkCade September 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

David Byrne's projects just get weirder and weirder.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Oh. I thought Byrne was the guy erecting the T in the first photo…

Ayn Rand Paul Tard September 6, 2012 at 3:23 pm

He stopped making sense a long time ago.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Extra upfist for that!

CommieLibunatic September 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

If that's all supposed to be a witty acronym (CDRSATS?), yer doin' it wrong.

Pat_Pending September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

crazy man needz sammich.

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Think he's single? I've been looking for a corpse-boyfriend.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Nah. He's married. The way he's holding that sign like it's a turd reeks of "little woman back in Oklahoma."

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Needs more "Grapes of Wrath".

smokefilledroommate September 6, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Zombie Joad!

Baconzgood September 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm

It's the Finnegans Wake of protest signs.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

H. C. Errwhatthefuckhuh?

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 6:19 pm

It's an infinite jest.

NYNYNYjr September 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

"What? No, I completely support Obama. This sign is about defunding the National Endowment for the Arts. Maybe I should draw a little paint brush on it."

PuckStopsHere September 6, 2012 at 2:44 pm

That last picture? I thought Andy Rooney was dead.

mrpuma2u September 6, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I think it may actually be folk singer and TV commercials of the eighties national treasure Slim Whitman. Ask him to sing "La Paloma Blanca" to be sure.

JohnnyQuick September 6, 2012 at 3:29 pm

That's MICKEY ROONEY in that picture, and he's alive and well. You thought Babe 2: Pig In The City could finish him?

AtwatersGhost September 6, 2012 at 8:34 pm

ahhhh I believe thats Truman Capote!

DrunkIrishman September 6, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Oh God! I thought Victoria Jackson was Linda Tripp for a second and was like … "damn, that bitch will follow Clinton around wherever he goes."

OneDollarJuana September 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

She wants a taste, too.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 4:32 pm

After his speech, we all want a taste!

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I've never seen them in the same room together. Just saying.

KeepFnThatChicken September 8, 2012 at 12:30 am

Not to beat a dead horse, but I'm drunk and it's late. Anyone find the corpse of the girl that Glenn Beck murdered?

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

The last time I saw cops in favor of pot use was on Reno 911.

mrpuma2u September 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm

go to leap.cc for the the 411.

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Interesting site. There are some sane cops out there after all.

bumfug September 6, 2012 at 2:52 pm

An old friend of mine was on that show – trust me, they had their own personal reasons for wanting it legal.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I, for one, am shocked. SHOCKED!

weejee September 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I'm in a purple haze…

DCBloom September 6, 2012 at 3:35 pm

When I lived in NOLA many years ago, I had a cop tell me that they all thought it should be legal. He said there would be a lot less crime if people were getting stoned and watching cartoons.

just sayin

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

A junkie once told me that heroin is like sitting back and watching cartoons.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Well, consider that spending law enforcement resources on pot heads is kind of a waste, keeping it illegal encourages cartels, gangs, and other bad elements to control distribution, and the people who get thrown in the can are predominately people of color. And if adults want to smoke weed, really — this is such a non-issue.
Besides, we should be supporting the America farmers to bring us an organic, mold and insect free product.
(Stands down off soap-box)

DCBloom September 6, 2012 at 6:09 pm

No doubt! Look at alcohol prohibition…. that's what created organized crime in this country. I can't understand how anyone would think it would be different with pot.

I'm gonna go do a few bong hits and think about it.

Stevola September 7, 2012 at 1:02 am

Thinking after bong hits. Sure, that'll work.

Incitefully_Joe September 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Weird, the last time I saw cops in favor of pot use was when I was a volunteer EMT/Firefighter in a small predominantly white upper-middle bedroom suburb, and a bunch of us got smashed at one of said cops' house.

I think I ended up puking on his dog.

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Smart and a firefighter?

You know, I've got a calendar I'm working on…

DrunkIrishman September 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Man, I miss Reno 911.

Zombie_Reagan September 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Those fine 'Muricans must be taking time off from "hard work" and "pulling themselves up by their bootstraps" to spend all week standing outside of the DNC.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Seriously. That meth's not going to cook itself!

YouBetcha September 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I'm pretty sure I dated the guys in the first two photos.

Terry September 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

So, did he carry the cross on the dates? Did you have to walk everywhere you went, or did he have a van into which that thing easily fit? Inquiring minds want to know!

YouBetcha September 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

He was still in his granola-wheatgrass-ashram stage when we dated. Jews for Jebus didn't happen until later.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Well, that explains what happened to them. (this said with love)

no_gravity September 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Where's the 8 foot barbwire topped fences? Where's the packs of 10, light brown shirted, paramilitary troopers? Where's the wall of humidity?

Charlotte really is a small town.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Romney strapped it all on the roof of his bus to go everywhere he goes (it keeps the scary dark faces away from the nice, innocent and fried chicken encrusted faces of Gooper real 'Merikans). Oh and the paramilitary troopers…those are oath keepers.

Weenus299 September 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Look at the bottom of that cross. A wheel. I can't fucking stand that shit. You want to sign up with the crazy train and tote the cross, you drag that cross. Jesus and them didn't have wheels.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm

it's not his cross to bear…

PuckStopsHere September 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm

A crown of thorns might be a nice touch. Also.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm

With some padding on the inside.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear…

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:36 pm

It never is. That's why they're Republicans.

ChernobylSoup September 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

That's not how Jesus rolls.

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Isn't that shawl kinda Jew-ishy looking?

DemmeFatale September 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm

…and isn't that a shofar around his neck?
,,,and can he play "Amazing Grace" on it?

viennawoods13 September 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

He didn't blow no shofar!

HarryButtle September 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Beat me to it. Well played.

weejee September 6, 2012 at 3:02 pm

There's a guy here who drags a wheelie cross all around town. Think his is a BMW – Board Masochism on Wheels.

MacRaith September 6, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Hey, cut him some slack, he's been dragging that cross around Charlotte for 30 years now. At least, it looks like the same guy who was doing it when I lived there, allowing for the passage of time.

The bad part is that by Charlotte standards, he's not one of the crazy ones.

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

ALL ABOARD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mapmonger September 6, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Bah. Pantywaist.

smokefilledroommate September 6, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Ralph, Jesus does not have wheels.

DaveJ September 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Back of shirt: Ask me why Cops Say Legalize Pot.

Front of shirt: Ask me why my fucking pants are so goddam tight.

ChernobylSoup September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Ask Me Why
Cops Say
Outlaw Wrangler Jeans

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I've had not one, but two male bosses with apparently giant packages who insisted on wearing jeans that left nothing to the imagination. I don't want that guy to turn around.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I had a professor like that once. As another student said, "His pants are so tight you can see his cock wrinkles."

EWWWWWWWWW!

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Maybe he gets the munchies a lot? Those jeans kinda look like they've got some lycra for stretchiness…

pepperpat September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

If he supports pot smoking, it shouldn't be hard to figure out why his pants are tight.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:12 pm

He's either a giant or that person in front of him he's almost completely obscuring is tiny. Or both.

hagajim September 6, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Front of shirt: Donut shop is over there —–>

mookwrthwilson September 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Arrggghhh….get that disgusting picture off my screen…she's so creepy…

Barbara_ September 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I don't know which picture shocked me more, the graphic abortion depiction or the fact that Victoria Jackson can afford a cell phone.

BelleSC September 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

What's up with the two pairs of glasses at the same time? Not even "one clear, one sunglasses."

Barbara_ September 6, 2012 at 2:58 pm

She's probably wearing contact lenses too.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Going for the Professor Branestawm look, I guess.

CommieLibunatic September 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Dear Pro-Lifers,

It's not like we enjoy that, either. I don't really know what else to say other than a strangled series of very not nice words.

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm

For serious, yo. I mean, we also have NO idea what the circumstances are here. Fetuses DO die in the womb; it's pretty rare to take stock at, like, 8 months of pregnancy and say "You know what? Can you just chop this thing up and take it out of me?"

AutomaticPilot September 6, 2012 at 3:22 pm

+1,000,000

OneDollarJuana September 6, 2012 at 4:29 pm

You could hold up a cancerous leg that has just been sliced off and it would be disgusting and bit horrifying, too. Shouldn't we outlaw all surgery?

MissusBarry September 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Whatever, that kid was saved from a life of having ugly ears.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Seriously–I say we respond in kind, with photos of women who died from illegal and unsafe abortions.

MOG2410 September 6, 2012 at 4:53 pm

win

miss_grundy September 6, 2012 at 6:16 pm

If people really want to lower the number of abortions in America, they should put that much energy into pushing for more and better birth control, not only for women but for men as well. Because if men and women are sexually responsible, then we won't have the need for abortions. So, whether it is a pill, an implant or tubal ligation and creating a pill for men, vasectomies, or something else, everyone needs to be responsible so that unwanted pregnancies won't happen and we won't have throw-away children.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 11:53 pm

The thing is, those gross and shocking images do little to endear them to others or make people want to hear their arguments. They pretty much scream "giant asshole with creepy dead baby fetish, right here!" the whole scene is complete when you realize it's a middle aged old white dude toting the sign which makes the whole scene all the more bizarre. Maybe someone needs to reach out and tell these guys they look like the kind of guy who brings plastic sheets with them to watch "the Passion of the Christ" and not at all like someone who has a rational reason for opposing abortion. Hah, what I am saying? Only deranged idiots without any concept of reality and who couldn't give the slightest fuck about the lives and circumstances of others are unequivocably pro-life….

rocktonsam September 6, 2012 at 4:52 pm

who would even be calling her ?

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Luke Russert?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Limbaugh? no, no, no, I've got it! Erick son of Erick for a booty call? Or……

Lucidamente1 September 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Editrix, how do you make "sweat love?"

chicken_thief September 6, 2012 at 2:52 pm

In a sauna?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Is there a way to not get sweaty with the sexing?

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Yes, convert to Mormonism.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 3:02 pm

no wonder Ann like to wear shirts with a dead fish on them

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Nope, still can't see why she'd want to be reminded of her bad sex life.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I once did it in the snow. That was not so sweaty.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Were you nekkid?

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

My feet get cold.

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm

There is only one kind of love in Charlotte.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:28 pm

The kind that dares not speak its name, except in Barbara Cartland novels?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm

It's been fucking hot this summer.

WhatTheHeck September 6, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I saw what you did there

kennymfg September 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm

How do you not?

prommie September 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Please, if you find the answer, let me know

WIDTAP September 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm

It helps when you're on top. You still sweat, but at least you are the dripper, not the drippee.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Love, rain on me. . . .

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 8:33 am

True, but that can be problematic for the gripee.

MOG2410 September 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I like to powder my mate, then powder myself, then powder the bed and cover the whole mess with Saran……….it does get a bit messy.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Is this fucking, or Shake & Bake™?!

MOG2410 September 7, 2012 at 9:33 am

And I hep'ped! (sort of dates me)

IndianaKevin September 7, 2012 at 7:20 am

and lengthy.

MOG2410 September 7, 2012 at 9:35 am

yeah. heh.

Antispandex September 6, 2012 at 5:03 pm

If you aren't making sweat love, you aren't trying hard enough.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm

she has sex with me? No joke, I sweat during coitus….

ColHeightsChic September 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Sweat love is the sweetest kind of lovin' there is. Can't wait.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Were there any pictures taken at Tuesday's drink-up?

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

See above.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:02 pm

What do you think she just posted?

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm

So the guy with the cross? Doc Zoom?

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

That's the remnants of Vlad the Impala.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Egg-sell-lent

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Maybe so…maybe that cross is full of vodka and like Orthodox Russians they bless each other by getting shit faced?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Ouch….I don't think anyone would let Victoria Jackson anywhere near a bar after the last time she went to one (see state of Florida v. Beck, 1990…brutal gang rape and murder of a young woman….)

HarryButtle September 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Didja notice that the dude's got a fuckin' WHEEL on the bottom of his cross? I'll bet Jeebus didn't have a wheel…

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Nope- that was Ezekiel, wasn't it?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 8:34 am

He had a poly-toroidal fascination.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 4:07 pm

then what was Carrie Underwood singing about?

IndianaKevin September 7, 2012 at 7:22 am

You know who else had a wheel at the bottom of his cross? Oh, wait. No, I got nuttin'.

Andrew Drinker September 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm

communist
demon rat
cakes we like
snake
cedar cheese
ab hor tion
1 musturd
sodom
get me and you 2 packs apeace cigs

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Honey? They wuz all outta musterd…

CthuNHu September 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm

but i herd u like sodom so i got u 2 packs apeace sodom so u can sodom while u sodom.

IncenseDebate September 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

This is some kinda weird e.e. cummings if he dropped acid or something. I like it. i like it.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:13 pm

e e burroughs?

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

I like it!

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:16 pm

The more I look at it,
the more I like it.
I do think it's good!

el_donaldo September 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm

honey, you forgot the cerail, for you and the kids.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 3:21 pm

And I need a potatoe.

smokefilledroommate September 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Definitely don't forget those cakes we like.

Jerri September 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Nevar forget those cakes we like!!

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Schindler's List

Thurman Munster IV September 6, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Student loan libel!

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Cedar cheese!! My favorite Wonkette post of all time.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

You don't want moths eatin yer cheese.

Hammiepants September 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Communist Demon Rat Snake Abortion Sodom is like a Teabagger Mad Libs thing, right?

Oblios_Cap September 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

He's advertising for his Christian Rock band, obviously.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 11:59 pm

I think he's so proud of his vocabulary that he printed the entirety of it on that one sign

mrpuma2u September 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Yeah cops were always ganking the good weed when they busted people, now they are saying free the weed. Agree with the rest of the peanut gallery that VJ pic scarier than abortion little photo shop of horrors pic.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 7, 2012 at 12:00 am

I wanted to see who's toting the dead baby porn…10/1 it's a middle aged white guy….

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Wait, looking closely at the Victoria Jackson photo she's got glasses pushed up on the top of her head – while she's also wearing glasses the normal way. She's wearing two pairs of glasses at once. The fuck?

BelleSC September 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Note to self: read all of the comments before posting.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I see quite a few of us noticed the double-glasses – but I did first, ha-ha!

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

She's taking lessons from the Sarah Palin School of Smarts. If one pair of fake eyeglasses make you look smart, than two pairs make you look extra smart plus good!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

She's just proving that she is not a bimbo!

(I was going to link to the song but it's unfortunately not in the SNL archives; and they're now big on purging YouTube clips).

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Marty: Do you think these glasses make me look smarter?

Rizzo: Nah, you can still see your face.

smokefilledroommate September 6, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Her iPhone has tiny glasses, too.

Toomush_Infer September 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm

It's all part of her Republican performance comic art routine – they're for seeing invisible men beside chairs….

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm

To be fair, the eyes on the top of her head have been a bit out of focus lately.

Lazy Media September 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Those are her beer goggles. You know, for later.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Is she going to put them on *other* people?

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2012 at 6:12 pm

One set is her reading glasses, the other set is her They Live! alien-seeing glasses. How else can she keep up on Obama's crypto-marxist-neo-reptilian-anti-colonialist agenda?

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Best answer yet.

IndianaKevin September 7, 2012 at 7:25 am

The second pair comes out when she forgets where she left the first pair.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Top caption—
He: The lord has need of a woman like you.
She: I DON'T think so.

Toomush_Infer September 6, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I think she answered: okay, but I'm expensive….

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Convenience caster wheel on the bottom of his crucifix. Bet Jeezuzz wishes he'd thought of that one!! Now that's a miracle the DYS'er in me could believe in.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

You ever hear of a "stress position?" One of those things Bush said wasn't torture, I think we still do it.

I have yet to see anyone point out the plain fact that crucifixion is just a "stress position."

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Or that crucifixion was a Roman form of capital punishment.

GunToting[Redacted] September 7, 2012 at 1:41 am

Why did Jesus die on the cross?

He forgot his safe word.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 8:39 am

Why did the ladies love jesus? Because he was hung like that.

docterry6973 September 6, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Hey! If Jeebus had wanted a wheel on that cross there damn well would have been a wheel on that cross.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Vince here for the Cross-Wow. It's a crucifix on wheels that doubles as a furniture mover! And if you act within the next twenty minutes, because we can't do this all day…

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 8:42 am

And for 29.99 you can also purchase the Slap-Nail. Get those crooks and criminals on the cross in just seconds!

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Sometimes I wish the Romans had drowned the guy in a toilet, just to see people wear commodes on little necklaces.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Nikki Haley pix or GTFO!11!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 7, 2012 at 12:01 am

Nikki Haley? ugh…she's not very attractive. I want to see some pics of editrix hugging Scarlett Johansen….big boobs pressing together…I'll be in my bunk.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

why does the guy in the second photo have a poster with Gollum on it?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 7, 2012 at 12:03 am

Victoria Jackson gets enough shit for her repulsive looks without you piling on! Oh wait, you meant the dead baby porn…if it's been tortured first, Mel Gibson.

YouBetcha September 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I know I deserve the hell that is coming when I ask this, but I must know: why are there glasses on her head and on her face, simultaneously?

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

the brain slug that has attached itself to her spinal column is nearsighted, probably caused by malnutrition

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Because wearing glasses makes you look smart. So wearing 2 pairs makes you look twice as smart. ARITHMETIC IS NOT JUST 4 CLINTON!!

prommie September 6, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I'm not a doctor, but I am guessing some form of organic brain damage.

Estproph September 6, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Because she's rebooting the role of Rex Kramer from Airplane!

YouBetcha September 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Is she too broke for bifocals? Too cheap? Why two glasses? This will keep me up at night.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:17 pm

For quite some time my dad used to carry both reading and distance glasses, refusing to get bifocals because he thought it would make him look old. Of course, he was old, which is why he needed bifocals. Maybe she's in similar aging denial?

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:22 pm

She probably completely forgot that she put her glasses on top of her head and then stole a pair from her housekeeper when she couldn't see her phone.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm

You know why old guys get those fucking hairs on their earlobes? Cause they can't fucking SEE them, or they'd cut them off. They are right in the fucking space between near and far, when you look in the mirror!

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm

And now you have grossed me out. Of all the things and pictures here, of all the things you have said, that did it. I guess that's why old dudes need someone that loves them too. But still gross. I'm an elitist egalitarian for sure.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Why do the old guys also tend to have giant untrimmed nose hair and scary super-sized eyebrows?

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 5:31 pm

What I wanna know is, why does the fucking hair on my earlobes still come in black, while my actual facial hair went Santa-white ten years ago?

Huh? Hengh?

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I have no-line bifocals (which took some getting used to) and "computer glasses", because when I am at one of my desks, tilting my head up and looking down at the screen through the bottom of my glasses puts a strain on my eyeballs. If I have something in my hand or lap though, the bifocals are fine. That shit hit me at 40, if you wanna know how long you've got.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

That stuff drove me nuts, too, until I got IOLs put in. One eye is now a bionic 20/10 (needz built-in glowing red surveyor's mark), the other perfect for a computer screen. Still need readers, but that's it.

spareme September 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I wear two pairs of glasses, mainly cuz after four eye surgeries, my vision sucks and always will. Just not as much as it used to suck. Now that I know that this crazy bitch has picked up on my fashion habit, I'm going out and buying a seeing eye dog and a fab pair of sunglasses.

kittensdontlie September 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

She has grown eyes on the back of her head, which is a side-effect of extreme paranoia.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm

My Dog, somebody get that Sodom sign guy a sandwich! Grab one from Jackson; she looks like she had too many sandwiches. You'll have to fight her for it.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I'd like to see the forced birthers going with a slightly more accurate photo of the docs disposing of a microscopic dot of cells.

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 3:00 pm

That thing looks 'Shopped. I can tell by the pixels.

CommieLibunatic September 6, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Hell, my money says it could well have been some kind of birth defect or miscarriage. Not that I'm a doctor, or even play one on TV or Team Fortress, but yeah.

Fare la Volpe September 6, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Actually, most of those "ABORTION" photos are really just gelatin molds. There are artists all over the world who make fake babies and pass them off as fetuses to get a rise out of people. If you ever see a wingnut going nuts about people in China eating fetus soup, just know it's actually part of an old art installation and the "fetus" is just a doll's head on a roasted duck body.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

So, you're David Byrne?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Do some of them actually believe that? God fundamentalists are dumb.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

we'll need to see the long form D&C

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

…and from seeing a lot of abortions in my day.

MOG2410 September 6, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Am I supposed to believe that a right to lifer snapped that with his/her cell?

YouBetcha September 6, 2012 at 2:52 pm

That first guy is totally Trent Reznor in a white wig & fake bear. I am serious. Go look at a picture of Trent Reznor today. That is him. WTF.

GlowneyHouse September 6, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Man, I could hardly recognize Henry Winkler in that first photo.

memzilla September 6, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Victoria Jackson's next movie: The Incredible Mrs. Limpet.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Don Knotts Libelz!!

prommie September 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Man I wish I had your job, Rebecca. I can walk around buzzed and take pictures of crazies, I could do that real good. Fuck, I already write as many words a day as you on this fucking thing, for money, I would even employ grammar and lose my tendency to repeat words in a repetitive fashion, repeatedly.

memzilla September 6, 2012 at 2:58 pm

So… your work address is: Department of Redundancy Department, City of Iowa City, Iowa City, Iowa?

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Word!

One holiday season stuck in central Florida my daughter and I went on a photographic mullet/crazy hunt. it was like shootin' fish in a barrel down south.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I mentioned the other day, I do live right close to where the real original Kallikaks came from, and I see their descendants and cousins in the walmart every time I go there. Its life's rich pageant, is what it is. God I have nothing but symapthy and good will for the poor and powerless in this world, and I want them to be given what help is necessary to live meaningful and dignified lives contributing to the best of their ability, but damn, do they have to be so ugly and tacky? Am I a snob? Is it possible to be an elitest egalitarian?

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm

There, there, (pats shoulder). Given the amount of butt-crack you must see on a regular basis, it's understandable that you might be a little distraught.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Oh, WOW. I didn't know what a Kallikak is, so I just Googled it. Pretty scary Wiki entry. But the third thing on the drop-down menu is "Kallikaks and Jukes." Given my handle, I had to look that up, too. I read, "As a general concept the Jukes Family represented inherited criminality … described by Richard L. Dugdale in 1877 in The Jukes: A Study in Crime, Pauperism, Disease and Heredity." So I'm guessing here that "juke" doesn't mean the same thing in New Jersey it means in some other places. Although I DO have the "pauperism" down pat, so there ya go … eugenics!

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I was just reading those wiki entries and thinking of you!

M. Bouffant September 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

I'm w/ you. The only people I hate more than the rich are the awful cheesy bloated poor people who let the rich people run roughshod all over them.

IncenseDebate September 6, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I might do this. I'll have to mullet over.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Victoria Jackson. Born again? Born two too many times?

Antispandex September 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Bored again?

Jus_Wonderin September 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I am praying for you. Getting that close to Victoria has got to be infectious.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Don't get behind her – she sprays.

Estproph September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Nah, that's HepA. Jackson carries HepC. Don't let her spit on you!

1stNewtontheMoon September 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

choice is not having to fuck that weird dude with a dead baby fetish.

chicken_thief September 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

That's the hairiest fucking aborted fetus I've ever seen. And why does she have two pairs of glasses on her head?

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I hated myself when I laughed.

RadioX September 6, 2012 at 2:56 pm

TWO sets of glasses make you look REAL smart!

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Sure those aren't for her second head?

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I get the feeling that it's Two Against One.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

That abortion looks sorta like Rick Warren. And the picture he's holding kinda resembles John Ashcroft.

magic_titty September 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Judging from her confusion, that lady should've specified Mount Sinai Road, when she asked Moses for directions.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 6:06 pm

ALL ROADS LEAD TO PERDITION!!1!

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 2:58 pm

live bloog Barry Bamz making sweat love to your earholes.

It ain't good love making if your earholes don't get sweaty

IncenseDebate September 6, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Sweaty ear lobes are super hot.

widestanceromance September 6, 2012 at 3:21 pm

And ankles, too also as well.

chicken_thief September 6, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Communist demon rat puts an end to all the "Merikuns are so fat" bullshit theories that crowd the headlines with the just as unsupported climate change garbage.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Say, that tall gaunt stranger? Isn't that ol' whatisface? Julian Sands? Boy, he looks horrible.

OzoneTom September 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm

He feels badly for what he did to Sherilyn Fenn.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I must admit I like the rolling Crucifix. It must be the hotrod Jesus built…

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

DIY!

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Do-it-Yawehself?

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Low Nailer.

Toomush_Infer September 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Nah, it's his authentic roadtrip model….

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Didn't you see him on "Pimp My Cross"?

widestanceromance September 6, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Krauthammer libel (and thank you).

GhostBuggy September 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

He didn't build that.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 8:56 am

So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

Goonemeritus September 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I don’t want to go all– the old ways are the best ways on you guys but if a casterless cross was good enough for Jesus this guy is being kind of a pussy. Oh and another thing, it’s kind of small what’s the point of going to all the trouble of nailing someone to a cross if his feet will touch the ground.

Jus_Wonderin September 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I was thinking the exact same thing(s). I am just slower at typing it up.

sewollef September 6, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Right… since then it becomes just a coat hangar.

SayItWithWookies September 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Which is a perfect tie-in with the abortion dude.

sbj1964 September 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I like the Jesus wacktards,it's hard to pull off the 8ft cross look it's so Retro.I mean ridiculously Retro.

cheetojeebus September 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm

yeah, but Jesus would'a worn flat front khakis.

SoBeach September 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Off topic: Is it just me or has the Romney campaign pretty much given up? Seems like they're barely even phoning it in. Are they just waiting for the dem convention to end, or do they realize they're goners?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:33 pm

He's barely campaigned since since their convention ended, and he's already giving up on Michigan and Pennsylvania (I for one will be happy to no longer have the constant barrage of lying Romney ads):
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/09/romney-

He does seem to be slowly realizing he's toast.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I don't think Romney ever thought he stood a shot. Maybe really early on in the primaries, when the economy was still tanking and the unemployment rate kept inching upwards, before anyone really paid attention to his pathetic message, he might have harbored glimpses of it.

I think once he realized how far right he had to tack to win the nomination and how little wiggle room he left himself to get back to the middle, he pretty much lost hope. But there's always a wild card out there, like a major preventable tragedy or a Diebold…

SoBeach September 6, 2012 at 4:23 pm

70% of his own party not only didn't vote for him in the primaries — they HATED the guy. But he was the pick of the GOP machine, so there you go.

Why they think a guy despised by half his own party could win in the general election is beyond me.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Well, you know, lots of them hate something even more. I won't mention what it is. That is the basic platform for them, and what they've been counting on.

OneDollarJuana September 6, 2012 at 4:39 pm

HOWEVER. There are the uncomfortable facts that Bush stole two elections and the evil minions have been hard at work ever since. It's unlikely that the voter-suppression laws will be overturned or invalidated before the election, and besides, most of us vote electronically, meaning, insecurely.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Hey, don't shit on my Hopey Changey high!

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 6:36 pm

He's giving up on Michigan again? Didn't they already do that back in June?.

That's a lot of EVs he's giving up on. Also, those states rank 9th and 14th on Nate Silver's ROI list, which leads one to wonder, where is Romney still campaigning?

sewollef September 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm

According to TPM, they actually have given up on Michigan and Pennsyltucky

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Jinx!

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

It's traditional to suspend your campaign during the other guy's convention.

I mean, it happens, of course, and Bush's camp hammered Kerry in 2004, but you're really supposed to let the guy have a fair shot at making his case.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Did you see Reince Primate (or whatever his name is) clip on Colbert talking about the enthusiasm the Replicons are having, as though the Quaaludes had just kicked in.

NYNYNYjr September 6, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Reince Preibus sounds like something Orly Taitz would say when your at her dentist's office. "Okaii, now your teess ees very cleen, remeember floss and reince preibus every day."

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I loved how Colbert mocked that:

Yes, we have all the enthusiasm. Mitt Romney's our candidate, and there's no changing that now.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 6:54 pm

He is my Genius God. As long as we can have our Colbert, there is hopey changey possible.

NYNYNYjr September 6, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Off Topic: COMMUNIST RAT SNAKE A-BORE-SION TYLER PERRY

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Oh my GOD at the dude with BOTH the let me tell y'all people who won't fuck me what to do with them parts you won't let me play with AND THE DAMNED DON'T TREAD ON ME flag. HEY FUCKER, how bout DON'T TREAD ON MY VAGINA? HUH HUH? Oh lord I am not going to make it through this day.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

But he's holding the flag backwards, which means the opposite. So someone should tread all over his fat face, with votes. (and by votes I mean fists)

CommieLibunatic September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

On top of that, his camp has accused the Left of "worshiping death," despite how his most likely faith uses a TORTURE DEVICE as its icon. Cognition, meet dissonance.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I will never understand men who get all obsessed with this issue, much less one that has some how managed to make it his life's work so much that he stands around holding conflicting signs that make actual holders of lady parts want to skullfuck (hey Dog!) him only. It makes me wonder what he is doing when he is not out in the open holding signs, so it's probably good that he just stand there.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm

You thought of me while thinking of skullfucking! My mission is accomplished.

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Everytime a dog skullfucks, an angel gets her wings…

viennawoods13 September 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Pres Bartlett: Didn't they attach a family planning rider to the highway bill last year?
Josh: They did.
Pres: What's with these people? They can't stop talking about sex.
Toby: If they can't be havin' it.

VaWyo September 6, 2012 at 3:13 pm

My thoughts exactly. Dumbasses and their two conflicting thoughts. I guess he doesn't want US to tell HIM what to do. The other way around is ok, though.

Women need to stop having sex with anti-choice guys. Many won't notice because they are gay, but some will.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm

What's with the tallit on the guy with wheelie-cross? Is he a Jew 4 Jeebus?

mavenmaven September 6, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Jesus loved to wear polo shirts and sandals, you know.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I guess someone must've told him he couldn't wear his white dress after Labor Day…

swordfis September 6, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Is it antisocial to wish for him to be strangled with phylacteries (in the form of words)?

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Rolling Crucifix Man is holding either 5 of the 10 commandments or a manila envelope. I'm going with manila envelope.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Cease and desist order from Tony Hawk. He must unroller his cross.

Toomush_Infer September 6, 2012 at 3:10 pm

And the winner is……

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm

That second pic is making me hungry.

Generation[redacted] September 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

I could go for some baby back ribs right about now.

RadioX September 6, 2012 at 3:29 pm

mmmm, fetus, the other white meat.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Too late, Gina Rinehart has already made reservations.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Do you have a lean and hungry look? Thats Shakespeare, baby! Cultcha, doncha know.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:46 pm

As opposed to Ken Norton, who had a lean and lunge-y hook.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 9:07 am

As opposed to Edward scissor hands, who had that lean and hingey look.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Abortion Man looks like he needs a hug.

SoBeach September 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm

If by "hug" you mean "vicious kick in the junk"…

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Maybe it's the lack of hugs, kisses, sexing or any other female affection that makes him hate women so much.

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 4:13 pm

You're pretty close to the mark, there, SB. People deprived of affection as children don't hardly have the skills needed to relate to others as adults.

Eve8Apples September 6, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I was going to suggest a legitimate raping.

MissusBarry September 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

There was an As Seen On TV device many years ago called the Wonderbrella. It'd be a perfect bit of foreplay…before moving on to the sideways chainsaw.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 3:48 pm

From the makers of the Wonder Perch! http://www.wonderbrella.com/other.html

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Is that an umbrella condom?

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"More Wonder Products" has the Perch – and "Additional items coming soon!" Hee.

Peckerwood_Pete September 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Michael McDonald is due for a beard trim… tsk tsk…

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

He's up for the part of one them Soggy Bottom fellers in the Broadway adaptation of "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"

viennawoods13 September 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Everett, my beard itches.

Jus_Wonderin September 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm

He just "Keeps Forgettin'"

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm

♫ What a fool believes ♪ ♪

BeefHardcake September 6, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Jah Mo be in need of a set of clippers.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Back when that came out, me and my friends used to sing "I'm a big bear! (Rough and scary) I'm a big bear!"

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm

This is one of the reasons I loved SCTV:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0HzWMqLeiE

Antispandex September 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm

GEEZE! Don't DO that!!! That last picture scared the crap out of me. My eyes…water…bleach, peroxide, Damn!

Not_So_Much September 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Who can't get behind snake abhor sodom tion-izing, amiright?

Estproph September 6, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Victoria Jackson: "Wait, what? This isn't a banana?"

iamrrm September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Jeebus is kicking himself that he never thought to put a little wheel on that damned cross. Also, khakis and a polo, too.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Communist Demon Rat Snake Abhortion Sodom- that was the name of my punk band in college

IncenseDebate September 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm

You were freakin awesome! I was at the show where you puked on the drummer.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Does Victoria Jackson ever shut her mouth?

widestanceromance September 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm

No, never let a krill to go waste.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Ummm…… I don't want "SWEAT" love to my earholes, but I would LOVE to love some "SWEET" love….

Pat_Pending September 6, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I'd be more shocked by the abortion pic if I didn't see dead/mutilated Syrians on Facebook every day because I 'liked' the 'We are all Hamza Alkhateeb' page.

Humans often don't treat each other very well once they get born.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Did someone actually engage the engaging Victoria Jackson? Did you record the crazy?

le petit mort September 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Someone tell Demon Rat man that pleats are sooooo 1996.

MoeDeLawn September 6, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Victoria: I SEE EVERYTHING TWICE!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Run out of Alt Text?

JustPixelz September 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I wonder if fetus head guy has the least concern for how many human heads got detached during the Dubya's war in Iraq. If he's pro-life, he's got to start with the already-born.

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Beheading an eight-year-old is considered abortion? Good to know.

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:19 pm

No abortions in the 32nd trimester!

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 6, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Retroactive abortions are the new thing at the abortoplex!

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Has anyone checked Communist Demon Rat Snake Abhortion Sodom for acceptable bug part content?

iamrrm September 6, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Let me get this straight, choice is abortion. So when I went with GEICO instead of Progressive, abortion.

JohnnyQuick September 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Gecko abortion, even.

MissusBarry September 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Free market libel!

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Flo sez insurance should be safe, legal and rare.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 3:21 pm

What the fuck?!?!

politics_nerd September 6, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Sweat love is right. I mean left.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 3:23 pm

DON'T SLEEP WITH WEIGEL.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Why not? Does he sweat?

mrblifil September 6, 2012 at 5:00 pm

That could happen theoretically.

SheriffRoscoe September 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Mad props for coming up with abortion / abhor tion. What? Cletus didn't come up with that?

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

abhor-shun ftw.

That one is free, spanky2b, libunatics, etc.

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Rebecca! Did the walker bite or scratch you? You didn't get bitten did you!? DID YOU!!!?

CommieLibunatic September 6, 2012 at 3:26 pm

While I am pro-choice, that doesn't make me ANTI-life.

A friend of mine had a baby about a month ago, and I hate to say it but it was against my expectations. The reason for that is because she's had fertility problems for a while thanks to ovarian cysts and other problems (being a cartoonist/illustrator, she actually drew a quick comic about it. Set in SPACE-ACE-ace-echo-echo-echo). But she had a little boy against the odds and my pessimism, and I've been giddier about it than I would've thought. Makes me think about the idea of creating my own little derpy quasi-clone of myself.

So don't go and accuse me of "worshiping death," you gut-wrenching teahadis. It's not like we enjoy abortions. I even feel bad killing soldiers in Metal Gear, and those guys are too dumb to live. If you truly gave even two fucks about life, you'd teach about contraception to prevent the creation of a life that nobody asked for.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take a nap. That much non-snark really wears you out.

JohnnyQuick September 6, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Is Abortion Man going to take that same sign outside of Church's* to protest miscarriages? What a wimp, afraid of God.

*(Church's Fried Chicken, of course).

Eve8Apples September 6, 2012 at 3:31 pm

The guy with the "Communist Demon Rat Snake Abortion Sodom" sign is creepy skinny and has those dark vacant eyes. Would someone please give him a sandwich? I don't think he has eaten for months. No wonder he's delusional.

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Make one for me too, willya.

At which point, Blue logged- out, shut down the pc, and hid in the shed next to the alley.

johnnyzhivago September 6, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Victoria Jackson! Not safe for after lunch!!!!

Come here a minute September 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Since when is Victoria Jackson not a Random Wackadoodle?

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 6:19 pm

She's a very specific wackadoodle. Hence the distinction.

mrblifil September 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I thought he was going to splooge on my eyeballs as well??!! Why the hell else would I pay for cable every fucking month?

Mittens Howell, III September 6, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Tin-Foil Pot Pie Recipe

Ingredients:

communist
demon rat
snake
abhor tion
sodom

Mix well and cover with tin-foil

Bake in an extremely hot oven, or Chris Christie's boxer shorts, for 45 minutes.

Garnish with one empty chair.

Serve to group of angry white folk .

Jus_Wonderin September 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm

What wine goes with this?

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm

White whine, obvs.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Are you sure it's not Blue Nun?

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 5:40 pm

No, only libruls drink that.

MonkeyMotion September 6, 2012 at 3:37 pm

communist, demon, rat, snake, abhor tion, sodom

Five out of six correct!

Well, at least one teabagger can spell at 8th grade level.

Toomush_Infer September 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I get it – it's Communist ( the one that doesn't belong, right?)…what do I win?….

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 3:37 pm

In related news, Todd Akin is now claiming breast milk cures homosexuality.
Lesbians, however, can be cured by drinking something else.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Imagine being such a dickwad that someone attributes that quote to you and millions of people believe it.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Would that mean it also causes lesbianism?!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

OT: Eddie Murphy: "Paul Ryan is a fucking joke. First of all. Everyone's talking about how sexy he is. Oh he so sexy. Oh he so sexy. I guarantee you – I get more pussy than Paul Ryan. OK? I got more pussy last night than Paul Ryan's got in his entire life. Paul Ryan is the kind of mutherfucker who fucked his sister's hot friend once in high school and hasn't shut the fuck up about it in thirty years. He's walking around acting like he's some big man. Meanwhile she's married, has four kids and is fatter than Jessica Simpson. And of course I don't understand why anyone would want to fuck Paul Ryan in the first place. Small forehead. Big ears. He looks like an evil version of Santa's Elf. Like some fucked-up demented elf that climbs in your chimney, takes all your Christmas presents and gives them to rich kids."

05c40 September 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

My favorite scene in Charlotte this week involved the street preacher at Trade and Tryon Streets. All week they have been screaming into microphones about how if you are a Democrat, you're going to Hell. Today's variation on that theme was on the evils of the Gay, complete with the preacher's lackey showing how the male ends of extension cords wouldn't fit together. I was fixing to leave when, right in front of that preacher going on about the Gay, two young women walked up. I'm not saying these two women were gay, but one of them had a lot of tattoos and a Mohawk and they were holding hands. And those two women proceeded to kiss one another right there in front of that preacher fellow who was bellowing into the microphone. Well that preacher wasn't about to let two women kissing disrupt him from letting folks know about the Gay. But I do think he had a bit of carnel desire in his heart when he glanced down at those two women kissing.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm

i would say today we are all communist demon rat snakes, but i think that's taken by john sununu.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Not to beat this into the ground, (I love me some Eddy Murphy) but then he said:
"You know I've been very successful in my life, and one thing I've learned is that if you are lucky enough to be successful, you have a responsibilty to help those around you who weren't so lucky. I take care of my family, I take care of my friends. I take care of people I don't even know sometimes – because I know that everything I've been given is a blessing. And Its the same thing with countries. If a country is successful, it has a responsibility to help those that didn't make it . That's a moral obligation – no matter what some dead Russian failed screenwriter says – that's just a moral obligation."

prommie September 6, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Wow! I had no idea he was political, let alone liberal, this is beautiful, where is this from? I haven't paid him much attention since he started doing Black Comedian In Drag movies and cuddling feet, but this is good stuff!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

It's from an article on the Daily Currant, but I am having trouble verifying that it's real. It's probably not. But still funny. http://dailycurrant.com/2012/09/06/eddie-murphy-c

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

The Daily Currant calls itself "The Global Satirical Newspaper of Record", and there is no trace of these remarks anywhere else, so.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Yeah. point taken.

prommie September 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm

And it was way too funny.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Just a note to Abortion/abhor tion guys — Know what can prevent those abortions you so abhor? Unencumbered Access to fact based sex education and contraception.

Also, too, can't you guys work against the rapey/incest men? Supporting the Violence Against Women Act would be a good place to start. Also, too.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm

The Flesch-Kincaid readability test shows your comment at a college freshman level, so you lost them after "just a note."

mustangsavvy September 6, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Sweat love. The love that dare not speak its name.

Also – the rat demon sign guy…..dude needs some self esteem classes. Come on now, there's no need to refer to yourself as "Sodom". We all make mistakes dearie!

Dudleydidwrong September 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm

"communist, demon rat, snake, abhor tion, sodom" guy failed the Analogies section of his entrance exam for cosmetology school and his mom told him to carry around this reminder or she wouldn't let him live in the basement any longer.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

He's tall enough to dust up high though, so that's probably why she keeps him around.

fartknocker September 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Victoria Jackson has a wedding ring? Who ever wakes up laying next to her every morning is probably a very sad person.

zippy_w_pinhead September 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

those are his glasses on top her head…

schvitzatura September 6, 2012 at 11:58 pm

You be the judge:
http://www.pba.edu/index.cfm?fuseaction=news.deta

Happy? Wessel is a chopper pilot for Dade Co., FL law enforcement.

Self-Uploader September 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

The guy in the first picture, I thought he was in jail for kidnapping Elizabeth Smart.

Generation[redacted] September 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Victoria Jackson just isn't the same without Jack Handey's script writing.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm

May I say that Jesus is looking GOOoood for his age. 2000 years can wear on a person. And he's sure rocking those Chinos.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 4:00 pm

When nine hundred years you have reached, look as good you will not, hm.

MosesInvests September 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm

David Tennant as The Doctor begs to differ.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Needz moar nailz.

smitallica September 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Oh, if only sweet Victoria was more like her career.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 4:13 pm

or sweat Victoria…

James Michael Curley September 6, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Gave a buddy a call who is in transit to a delegate seminar where Cory Booker will speak and then to the convention center. The two hottest rumors are that there will be a surprise celebrity showing just before the intros to Obama to get a lot of splash from young, popular star faces and that everyone assumes that the Bank of America ticket vetting was badly botched by North Carolina Democratic Party and the effort to screen out malcontents would be too time consuming.
And its raining but some major storms missed the area.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Rumor has it it's Scarlett Johansson & Kerry Washington:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/democrats-book-sca

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Nah, it's Samuel L. Jackson.

"I'm tired of these motherfucking elephants in my country!"

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm

I thought Michelle had issued a Permanent Ban on Scarlett Johansson.

Generation[redacted] September 6, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Is it Clint Eastwood?

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Talking to an empty closet?

prommie September 6, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Fucking Booker.

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

When I saw this as a stand-alone comment I thought, what the hell did the janitor from GoodTimes ever do to you? But I'm not gonna get into another argument with you, so just, carry on.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm

For a second, I read that as "fucking Booger", and thought that it would be good to see Curtis Armstrong finally getting work again.

Eve8Apples September 6, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I would love to see Betty White. She's beloved by everyone.

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Well they showed up with a bunch of beautiful women. I loved Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) and Scarlet Johansson was nice to look at but appears as dumb and as committed as a bowl of lime green jello. Does she and the convention organizers realize they told the entire country it took five years before she registered to vote?Sue Nivens was my favorite Betty White.

James Michael Curley September 6, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I wish I knew who Victoria Jackson was. I guess worse than being a has-been is being a has-wasn't.

LibertyLover September 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm

You must be a Young. Us Olds know her from some very bad Saturday Night Live a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Not young, was calculating Medicare eligibility in months, not years, a few days ago.Just totally lost interest in SNL for decades, a period that can best be measured between Jane Curtin ripping open her blouse and Tina Fey as the sexy librarian news reader on week-end update.

LibertyLover September 7, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I hear you, we still watch, that is to say, my spouse watches and I fiddle on the internetz. I will watch Weekend Update and a few of the early skits.

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 8:23 pm

I usually try to remember to watch Weekend Update but often it is placed after one of the weird NYC bands they have been highlighting for the last few years and I see that, switch the channel and forget to go back.

elviouslyqueer September 6, 2012 at 5:23 pm

"Has-been"? Please. "Never was," more like.

iamrrm September 6, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I have my earholes lubed up in preparation.

ph7 September 6, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Don't tell him, but the beard guy's cross is too small. His feet would touch the ground if he was crucified.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

It's his own, personal, portable cross.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:19 pm

He should have shopped at Casual Messiah® Big & Tall Crosses.

thefrontpage September 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

We all thought all of the cartoon anvils dropped from the sky and hit people on the head in Tampa, using up this year's allotment of falling anvils! But the gods of insanity must have had a longer plan, and they must have had a few anvils left to drop on people's heads in Charlotte, too!

iburl September 6, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I understand why the sign is labeling Victoria Jackson as a demon rat snake abhor tion sodom, but why communist? He must have meant Anti-communist.

pdiddycornchips September 6, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Is that cop in the cowboy hat getting a handy?

a_pink_poodle September 6, 2012 at 4:39 pm

This is sick! I can't believe what I'm seeing! This isn't a choice, it's a child! And for you to put up giant pictures of naked children? You're attracting the most deviant type of child predator! Right now, preterm necrophiliacs are beating off like frenzied apes to your handiwork, SIR! DON'T YOU BU-BU-BU ME! You knew what you were doing. You could have photoshopped a tasteful one piece swimsuit on that picture but you chose not to because this is how you get your rocks off and I hope you burn in heeeell!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miQ1vnLInZg&t=4m15s

BTWBFDIMHO September 6, 2012 at 4:51 pm

So let outlaw drone attacks too. No, wait.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Is displaying a Gadsden ("Don't Tread On Me") flag backwards an Illuminati thing?

DahBoner September 6, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Finally, a picture of Honey Boo Boo!!!!

larrykat September 6, 2012 at 5:02 pm

So how many pictures of abortions were there? Was it three or four?

TavariousChinaSmith September 6, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Depends how many pairs of glasses you're wearing.

Jus_Wonderin September 6, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Word(s)

toaster_pastry September 6, 2012 at 5:05 pm

If only the Romans had thought of sticking a caster on the bottom of their crosses. The man at top is clearly an innovator/job creator. =)

TavariousChinaSmith September 6, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Little known fact: the wheel was actually invented to allow the torture come to you.

glamourdammerung September 6, 2012 at 5:07 pm

I want to know why Flip Benham is out violating his probation instead of hanging out in jail.

hagajim September 6, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Now why would that nice man be carrying around a sign that identifies him as a communist demon-rat, snake who had an abortion? I is confuzed?

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Me on tread not do?

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I love the fact that that 2 year old was aborted in Houston in 1987, for some reason.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I've been in Houston on 115° days, so my guess is it was suicide.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Muscular Jeebus didn't need a caster on the bottom of his cross.

Also, Marc Anthony opens the festivities and gets a USA!USA!USA! chant? Our standards are really slipping!

Thurman Munster IV September 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Maybe Victoria Jackson is Voldemort's sister from that one Harry potter movie

Blueb4sinrise September 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Storms and Lightnin' in southern Az. WHAT DID OBAMA KNOW????
AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT!

Also
!???????????????????999999999999999999999911111111111111111111

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I miss the incredible lightning shows out there. Always a great excuse for a weekday party.

cobweb2 September 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm

>>live bloog Barry Bamz making sweat love<<?????
"bloog?" "sweat love?" WTF? Spend a little less time writing while wasted and more time posting pictures of your own sweet self, Stephanie Miller and other unattainable progressive goddesses to inspire ancient male hippie wannabes like myself to get our fat asses to the voting booth.

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 6:20 pm

OK, wonketeers. MJ Blige is on the stage singing "Let's Get Crunk" for Obama. Heaven….♫

SexySmurf September 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

OT Jury convicts Drew Peterson of 3rd wife's death

I guess he was touchable, bitch!

M. Bouffant September 6, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Jury is cretins, however.

LibrarianX September 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Monkey

LibrarianX September 6, 2012 at 6:26 pm

No soup for you!!!!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Thanks, Rebecca, for these annoying/disturbing/hilarious photos.

1). Does INRI still stand for I'm Nailed Right In? I like to keep up with these things. And, Hey…is that a caster on the bottom of that cross? Shocking! That's something
Brian of Nazareth would do.

2). OK, let me get this straight:
Taxes, Regulations – "Don't Tread On Me!"
Don't Tread On My Uterus – "MURDER!"
Is that right?

3) Man alive! I didn't realize the Joads were still around! Keep On Moving, buddy!

4). Victoria Jackson! Jeeze, without that stupid bow on her head, she almost doesn't look like one of the Flakes.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 7, 2012 at 4:08 am

For santafest in SF a couple of years ago (huge pub crawl with everyone dressed as santa… has to be seen to be believed), there was a woman dressed as santa toting a cross (without wheel) with "ORLY?" written on it.

Couldn't. Stop. Laughing.

Especially when I later saw the cross bike-locked to a parking meter outside a bar.

ibwilliamsi September 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I wish I could un-see the dead baby one.

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Just remember that, as Fara la Vope pointed out above, it like almost all the anti-choicers supposed abortion photos is certainly fake.

BTWBFDIMHO September 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I knew crosses can be very useful to scratch itchy fungi.

owhatever September 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Victoria has an empty chair on her phone and it is whispering steamy, dirty words.

dennis1943 September 6, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Please keep Victoria Jackson away from children………

VinnyThePooh September 6, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Ask me why cowboys still wear tight Wranglers in the 21st century.

Stevola September 7, 2012 at 1:22 am

The glasses on top are holding her wig in place!

ttommyunger September 7, 2012 at 8:12 am

Is Victoria holding her thinking aid?

MissTaken September 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

What about old women with moles and the long, crazy hair growing out of them?? Tweezers people!

HempDogbane September 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Hey, leave me out of this !

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Is that the same thing as a parasol prophylactic?

Steverino247 September 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

(Cue Ride of the Valkyries)

Cum from above!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

If I ever just give up on personal grooming as I age like that, feel free to kick me.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Cackling and dry hand-washing is so much more effective when you have sprouted moles.

actor212 September 6, 2012 at 4:10 pm

With a reservoir tip!

Toomush_Infer September 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I thought that was her navel pierced….

TavariousChinaSmith September 6, 2012 at 5:38 pm

But he did say, "Kill my landlord," which is tantamount to class warfare (i.e. the Democratic platform), so close enough, right?

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Also, it took me a minute to figure "Russian failed screenwriter" out. No way Eddie Murphy would turn that phrase.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 5:58 pm

That's a pretty dark thought.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 6:08 pm

All your remaining testosterone is in your earlobes.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Wonkette-patched rumps are wasted on the young!!

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Hmm, that may explain the odd sensations in my armpits.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 6:55 pm

That made me snorfle-chuckle.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 8:31 am

If there was EVER an excuse to keep your socks on…

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 10:56 am

Cornstarch will help with that

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