#weigeled!

Charlotte Day Two Maybe: Dave Weigel Is A Crazy Bitch

WEIGEL!!!!Sorry we did not blog at you yesterday; we left Jim here in charge at the house (la Casita de Wonkadonk) and went into the Charlotte wilds in search of our badges (WE NEED STINKING BADGES), and then we ate a bunch of acid with one of our dudes from Boston (we have dudes from Boston), and now Jim is probably going to quit because of how we left him all day yesterday and then ran out of battery and never checked in and were just on acid all night like a fucking hippie 17-year-old girl getting arrested protesting the Original Gulf War. 1990, represent! Also, you guys, make Jim not quit! More importantly, however, did we mention world-famous walking Slate Explainer Dave Weigel is a crazy bitch?

We don’t want to brag, but we have met Dave Weigel in person several times since Tampa, and also too we are actually housemates at la casita! No, we’re cool, we explained to people who wondered if we could really Wonkette it up when we are just little ole us from little ole Los Angeles instead of real punditer types from the Beltway, we are housemates with Dave Weigel! Every morning he stumbles in at a million o’clock, and then when the rest of us are just lying on our couches (see: now) too hungover to even log into the secret chat room, let alone do any work, he has been up and gone for FUCKING HOURS covering some Mass delegate breakfast or random bullshit, doing the work of 10 strong men!

And so we saw him again last night — closing time, of course, we had watched Bill Clinton’s A+++ of a American Politicks primer on the big screens outside the Chris Matthews MSNBC doohickey at some sort of fake shopping Experience (it was probably even called the Experience) because the fire marshall cut off the line at the arena two people ahead of us, and we explained to everybody that to apologize for the inconvenience, they would like to us to take the umbrella of our choice from the 30-yard pile of left umbrellas on the way out, but we were kidding, but then a guy told us really, no, take an umbrella, they would all end up in a dumpster, so we chose something cute and little and sort of Pucci-stripesy, so thanks someone! So did you see Ol’ Bill’s speech? FOR THE RECORD, we were not a fan ever since the Welfare Act, which is why we voted Nader in both ’96 and 2000 (and yes, we are sorry), but hooboy CHAINS Y’ALL FUCKIN’ GREAT SPEECH BUBBA AND BIG DOG AND WHATNOT YEEHAW, it was even better than it would have been if it was Bud Hammond from Political Animals, that’s how good it was!

So we were at some sort of “bar” or “ale house,” and we’d seen Charlie Crist already on the street and been all “HOLY SHIT!” and what do you think Charlie Crist said? He said “Holy S to you too!” we are not even kidding he said that. So gorgeous in person, so very gay.



So there we were keeping our jaw from falling off our face with a last call beer, when out walked WEIGEL! “Hey Weigel!” we said, “what do you think about giving me a ride home to the place where we both live?” And here was his answer, before disappearing into the night:

“I could do that. Theoretically.”

And that was literally the nicest thing he has said to us in the two weeks since we met him.

WEIGEL!!!!!

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  • Biff

    See, good ol' Dok Zoom blogged with us, not at us.
    Missed you, anyway, so whatevs.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I prefer to think that I blogged all over your faces, but as you imply, this may all be a matter of perception.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Blogkake?

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I, for one, had my Blog Goggles on the entirety of Wednesday.

      • LibertyLover

        As long as you didn't get any in my hair, I'm ok with that.

      • MissTaken

        It's been tagged POV, facial, shaved

    • JadedDissonance

      I haven't been a fan of Weigel since he put out some claptrap about hating cyclists. But I didn't vote for Nader.

  • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

    "What you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."

    • Guppy

      I wish I was that coherent while drunk/hungover.

      This is why She is Our Editrix.

  • Terry

    Rebecca, are you swooning in those photos?

    • NorthStarSpanx

      You'd think she'd be "one and done" with being a beard.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Jim should not quit. Theoretically.

  • smitallica

    He is a crazy bitch.
    So I'm assuming, therefore, that he fucks so good you're on top of it?

    • commiegirl99

      Beg pardon? Where's the bouncer???

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You don't really expect us to believe…? This! Is! WONKETTE!

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        i think, technically, YOU are the bouncer.

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Metaphorically also too.

      • smitallica

        Don't hate the playa. Hate Buckcherry.

      • Guppy

        Working for Politico, when last we heard.

    • DahBoner

      //high falsetto voice

      Here come dah Play-yers…

  • freakishlywrong

    Gay Charlie looks like he's got a hella grip.

    • sullivanst

      The number of handies Repubs give each other, I'm sure they all have powerful grips. Just not on reality.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Able to crush an iron bar with their right hand. Unable to lift a fork with the left.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Bill Clinton: still capable of kicking ass, taking names & getting more tail than a jock at a drunken sorority party. Woo hoo…I am in love all over again.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Greatest. Fucking. President.

      In all senses of the phrase.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Taught the Republicans a lesson about the Ovum Office.

    • fartknocker

      Last night was the most educational and interesting speech on policy and politics I've ever witnessed. I was blown away at Bill Clinton's ability to convey facts. I suspect our President will do an even better job of explaining his plans tonight.

      It would be awesome if I could vote for Hillary for POTUS in 2016….or Bill.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I said at my blog this morning that, whoever choreographed this convention, with Michelle Tues and Clinton last night, has set up POTUS for either the best speech of his life or the biggest comedown since Eastwood saw an imaginary president

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Debby Downer's Blog?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I'm not sure she posted anything on it, and it took me a moment to catch the reference.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Wah wah waaaaaah.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            #yakkitysax

        • Terry

          If Obama delivers an equally strong speech tonight as those given by Michelle and Bill, the only way Barry can lose is if the GOP'ers uncover photos of him in bed with a dead, male, teenage, card carrying member of Al Qaida and his pet goat.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Ironically, McNaughton's next mural…

          • sullivanst

            Mural? He's smearing shit on his walls now?

            I knew he was senile.

          • tessiee

            Or, you know, outspend him 20 to 1.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I do hope she runs. I am all into getting Hillz at POTUS in 2016.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          What if Michelle runs?

          • Jus_Wonderin

            ACTOR!!!! You are making my life difficult.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            Liz Warren.

          • http://www.wonkette.com BelleSC

            Hillz/Liz

            Then Liz in 2024

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Yea, I know. I doubt Michelle will run, tho. I think eight years of the shit she's been put through would be enough.

          • UnholyMoses

            Fuck. Yes.

            Hell, I'd find a way to vote for her twice just to piss off the GOP.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Best Democratic President in my lifetime. And as Michael Moore put it, a very successful Republican President, as well.

      • fartknocker

        Well said sir.

      • James Michael Curley

        Clinton's 1992 victory would not have been possible without an organization called The Democratic Leadership Conference. They had over half the democratic members of congress as card carrying members and vast numbers of state democratic officials. Their major Raison d'être was to save the Democratic Party from its liberal drift during the post Johnson era and to adapt to the defeat of Carter under Reagan. Most of those I met were smug, self-satisfied neophytes who were going to save the 'Dukakis Democrats' from themselves.

        That said, It looks like their web site; http://www.dlc.org, has not been updated since late 2010.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    So in the past week in various wonk pages we've been shown a LizGlover tweet, a reference to a SKS text, a Nooningtonshire revisited, a comment from RileyWaggs, and a confrontation with Weigel.
    Now all we need is Benincasa to make an appearance and This Week in Wonkette Retrospective will be nearly complete.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Nds moar Ana Marie Cox-ing

      • Texan_Bulldog

        I've seen her on MSNBC a lot. She's not as funny–I think she has to be all 'serious' and grown up now since she works for the Guardian (I believe).

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          What is it about teh TeeVee and real media that makes people change what got them there in the first place? I've done one radio show and was as snarky and sarcastic as I am in type and…

          Oh. Wait…

          • BerkeleyBear

            Maddow is the same snarktastic wonk goddess she ever was. But I agree she's the exception.

        • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

          Sometimes it's OK to play grownup, as long as you're really still all about Butterstick and buttsecks on your own time.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Don't forget Jack Stuef & Ken Layne (the original loveable Wonkette curmudgeon).

      • http://wonkette.com Jim Newell

        I was thisclose to getting ken to liveblog one night but he had to go run his desert cult with the dog or something.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          You need to offer him more rum…or TNT…or whatever he's up to these days.

        • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

          I don't know if my fragile psyche can handle another episode of "Doomer Porn with Ken"

        • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

          I miss the rambling desert tortoise-Inland Empire updates too.

        • Troubledog

          How much did he end up getting for that rusty old cross?

      • Jus_Wonderin

        If Jack Stuef dropped in to comment, wouldn't we have to retard his commentary?

    • freakishlywrong

      And a sorta cartoon curmudgeon…

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        And a kind of roguish, outspoken, begging-to-be-banned, token NRA-braggin', outlandish but devastatingly funny comment-contributor nihilist Neilist~

        • MissTaken

          Spanky2b has been stalking around comments, feels like 2010 all over again.

          • SorosBot

            He's currently three of my 'Last 5 visitors' – and yours, and probably most of the other Wonkette regulars.

    • UnholyMoses

      Needs moar buttsechs.

  • LibertyLover

    Doktor Zoom was holdin' down the fort for ya… doin' the snark pretty good.

  • HempDogbane

    Weigel's version of this will have a catchier headline.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    What happened to Charlie Crist's eyes? Did the Devil take him over?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Red islands in a blue state.

    • freakishlywrong

      Long ago. When he decided to "turn" gehy.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Is he gay? But But But he has a "wife"!

        Actually, his gheyness is probably the worst kept secret in the state.

    • cc423

      The sexy gay devil!

  • Lucidamente1

    Does Wonkette create some sort of space-time distortion such that every single one of its photographs is poorly lit and out of focus? Or is it the radiance of our Editrix?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I vote the latter, since the photos of Eastwood show him clearly, yet she's out of focus. She dazzles, I tells ya!

      • http://www.wonkette.com BelleSC

        She dazzles, I tells ya!

        That she does.

    • frostbitefalls

      And what's with the parking ramps?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        That's a euphemism for tits I've not heard before.

        • thatsitfortheother1

          It's in the book, just before warheads.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I must have an old copy

    • Terry

      I think she must move around like a hummingbird.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Reminds me of the population of the planet Scalos.

    • Guppy

      Wonkette, where even the photographers have hip flasks!

    • James Michael Curley

      An aurora appears when she shows herself to mere mortals. Our grandchildren's grandchildren will be flocking to her holy font to drink from its curved, magnificent, porcelain vessel.

      • tessiee

        "to drink from its curved, magnificent, porcelain vessel

        OK, I'm positive that this is a euphemism for SOMETHING, but do I want to know what?

        • James Michael Curley

          Ask your dog.

    • Stevola

      It's the acid

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    “I could do that. Theoretically.”

    Leaving himself some Weigel room?

  • el_donaldo

    Hey, don't broadcast that!!! Do you want Tucker and the Daily Failure to launch an investigative report about bloggers sharing living arrangements? That could blow this whole election thing wide open!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Heh heh.

      You said "blow"

      Heh heh

      • Doktor Zoom

        heh… and "wide open" haw…

  • freakishlywrong

    Perhaps it was brown acid?

    • widestanceromance

      Hope she has some beer and Allman Brothers handy.

      • sullivanst

        Everyone should, always.

  • Lucidamente1

    Zombie Charlie Crist! Run for your lives!!

  • LibertyLover

    I would like to say that Darrell Hammond did an excellent impression of Bill Clinton last night at the DNC Convention.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Weigel sounds like a bit of a douche, to be honest.

    • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

      If you read his twitter with any regularity, you'll see that being a douche is kind of his whole bread and butter.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I've heard the same about my own self, so perhaps I should investigate.

  • ElPinche

    Rebecca, the power of Crist compels you!! THE POWER OF CRIST COMPELS YOU !!

    • emmelemm

      HA!

  • el_donaldo

    And, Rebecca, honestly, acid? The 17-year hippie girl can probably dose and get right up the next day doing stuff. At my advanced age of hippiedom, I need at least two days of recovery.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Crist, it takes me that long after a six pack.

      • Terry

        Takes me that long after staying up late two nights in a row watching convention speeches. Damn.

        • jqheywood

          Amen!

      • tessiee

        "Crist,
        it takes me that long after a six pack."

        Best typo ever!

    • UnholyMoses

      Tracers whilst trying to drive to work are DOUBLEPLUSS BAD!

      Though it did make the commute a lot more … colorful. So to speak.

    • DahBoner

      It's a trick question.

      You can't sleep on acid, man…

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    You just reminded me how much I missed Liz Glover and her Barbi Cam.

    Also Liz and her interview with a dog. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-CSGnT5w5g

    • Jus_Wonderin

      That is hilarious.

  • OkieDokieDog

    So are you the one who slipped Tom Brokaw the Ambien?

    Per TB's tweeter: All is well Early AM I mistakenly took a half dose of Ambien and made less sense than usual. Made a better comeback than Giants…

    Football reference. Ugh. Boring. Play some real fútbol, ya know, with your foots and not your brain damaged head.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Made a better comeback than Giants…

      Hey! Some of us DVRers haven't watched the end of the game yet (Wonkette liveblog took priority). I dread these spoiler messages from the future.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Tarkenton made a real game of it.

        • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

          Sings: "Turn off the DVR, the party's over…"

      • OkieDokieDog

        oops, sorry. Belated Spoiler Alert!

        Blame that drug-addled Tom Brokaw.

  • Thunderclees

    Gurl u a hot mess

  • LibrarianX

    Which shade of Coppertone is Charlie?

    • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

      Somewhere between "John Boehner" and "George Hamilton".

    • thatsitfortheother1

      On the Boehner absolute scale? Negative 5.

    • sewollef

      A mere two shades lighter than the lightest illegal.

      I believe it's otherwise known as, Pantone 132 C. That's what Arizona's cops do when they's tracking down "undocumentados".

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Coated.

        • UnholyMoses

          But in what … ?

    • widestanceromance

      AOT, K?

  • Goonemeritus

    I am uncomfortable with any story where the charming handsome character is the former Republican Governor of Florida. I wouldn’t visit Florida if I lost my penis in a freak industrial accident and they had the only viable procedure for replacement.

    • sewollef

      I would.

      I like my penis.

      • Guppy

        Now you just need to find someone who shares your opinion.

    • sullivanst

      But but but…. "The Creepiest Place on Earth"!

      Oops, did I misspell that?

      • tessiee

        Yes; should be "Crappiest".

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is curious. last time i checked, weigel was just a blogger.

    if he was a real journalist he'd be staying in the bates motel with fox and friends and have his own goddamned parking spot.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    also rebecca honey, you should probably try eating something – preferably something greasy.

    i find that helps.

    PS DO NOT QUIT JIM

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Now I know how Rick felt when Ilsa came back to Casablanca.

  • sewollef

    Red-eye reduction, Becca. It'd stop Charlie Crist from looking like a zombie.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I've examined the photos and determined that, in fact, she applied red eye reduction. Those are his natural peepers.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Looks like our editrix has figured out how to make getting drunk tax deductible.

    Looks, brains and a cast-iron bladder. Talk about the whole package.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      You said package…

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    JIM NOT GO! HULK SMASH!

  • Tundra Grifter

    Re Weigel: Do you have to have a dick to be one?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      It helps.

      • sullivanst

        Viz: Tampa Bay last week.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    You should maybe go back to bed for a while.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    That Ale House looks crappy.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So gorgeous in person, so very gay.

    And probably the next Guv of Flor-i-duh. The guy has more lives than a cat.

    • rickmaci

      I can see the Rethug bumper stickers now. "Vote for the Crook, It's important."

    • Guppy

      No, I think Florida is done with him. He's gone full "trial lawyer" (appearing in ambulance-chaser commercials and everything), and you know how Real America™ feels about that.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Gurrrrl, be careful. You may be in danger of turning into the blog world version of Chelsea Handler.

    Also, too I understand that the Repugs have retroactively decided they never had a convention this year.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Finally I agree with the Republicans on something.

      Retroactively.

      • jqheywood

        Theoretically.

    • rickmaci

      'You may be in danger of turning into the blog world version of Chelsea Handler. '

      Ouch. That hurt. (But well played.)

  • DailyGrumbles

    FACT: If you challenge Dave Weigel to a drinking contest DO NOT make eye contact. CRAY CRAY

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Um … that's not an alehouse, it's a car park. Maybe a dungeon.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Ailhouse.

  • Guppy

    Does Charlotte perchance have a subway, with a grating Our Editrix can be photographed standing on?

  • LibertyLover

    Ruh-Row… Tom Brokaw was taken to a Charlotte Hospital feeling "light-headed."

  • ThundercatHo

    Hey, doesn't our Editrix deserve to cut loose? If I were down there without any dependents serious men in suits would have to pull me off Bill. You go ahead and enjoy yourself madam and see if you can find some asses that need kickin' with our girl Sandra Fluke.

  • HolyCow!!

    Do what I do when one of my coworkers screws up. Cut off an appendage and then chain them to the toilet for a few days. Trust me Jim. It works.

  • UnholyMoses

    How do you get around with your eyes closed all the time?

    One would think you'd be, like, walking into walls all the time.

    • tessiee

      "How do you get around with your eyes closed all the time?"

      Don't spread it around, but she's related to Earl HIckey.

  • BarackMyWorld

    pics or it didn't happen.

    Oh, wait…!

  • AddHomonym

    Trippy!

  • BlueStateLibel

    If Jim quits, we'll all go on a HUNGER STRIKE. And don't think you'll be able to change my mind on this, it'll be like Gandhi and Bobby Sands times a million.

    • tessiee

      I sure hope not. Didn't Bobby Sands die?

  • larrykat

    Thatz one sexy parking ramp behind you there.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Are you "peaking" right now? I know I am.

    • DahBoner

      Why can't Democrats co-ordinate their Peak times???

  • rickmaci

    Maybe the iPhone5 camera will have an "I'm so fucking drunk on my ass and need help taking this fucking picture" automatic setting app?

    • sewollef

      I'm assuming it will, but I'm gonna have trouble staying sober 'til next Wednesday.

      Can you stay sober for a week?

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Dear Editrix, Can you tell me how to lay my out of state hands on one of those "Sluts VOTE" buttons? Pretty please.

  • prommie

    Watch out for that acid stuff. Didn't you ever read that book by Vonnegut's kid?

  • prommie

    At any event, it looks like this wasn't far off, just acid-induced: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zoooma/3454581387/

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    Weigel's an asshole, Literally.

  • tessiee

    "So we were at some sort of “bar” or “ale house,” and we’d seen Charlie Crist already on the street and been all “HOLY SHIT!” "

    I woulda been all, "Jesus Christ, it's Charlie Crist!", but "HOLY SHIT!" is good, too.

  • DahBoner

    Dave Weigal is perfect for Slate.

    They need writers over there young enough to not even know they were alive during Reagan's Reign of Errors…

  • mustangsavvy

    hahahahaha oh Becca. You are what we Aussies like to say……completely pissed and shit-faced. Good on ya – you should probably just take the day off now.

    We love you Jim, don't quit!!!

  • lonewolfbear

    Please do not quit Jim. It will make Jeebus cry. It is your patriotic duty to keep on… keep on… snarking.

  • Charlie_Foxtrot

    "…went into the Charlotte wilds… and were just on acid all night like a fucking hippie 17-year-old girl getting arrested protesting the Original Gulf War. 1990, represent!"

    Believe it or not, I was in Charlotte the night the Gulf War started! That can't be coincidence, Becca. Shall we have sex?

  • http://italkyoubored.wordpress.com/ ffredpalakon

    Remind me of this post if you ever need a lift – because Weigel usually comes across as a genial though contrarian guy, and yet the photo used here resembles that Crispin Glover character who looks like he strangles people with wire while singing his favorite children's song – you know that character from that movie, I think it's called Every Character Crispin Glover Has Ever Played?

  • ttommyunger

    Dave and Charlie are prolly raving about seeing YOU, Trix.

  • Troubledog

    Jim quits all the time. So does that other guy.