the end of racism

Romney Campaign Announces Its Perfunctory Black Outreach Thingy

And with the completion of this logo, the BLC's job is done.Are you black, and a Republican? Congratulations! Oh, you didn’t hear? You’ve just been named to the Romney campaign’s Black Leadership Council. Your duty: to say the exact same Republican talking points as everyone else, while being black. Now since the polls show Romney earning the support of a whole 0% of the African American vote, some might say that the party already maxed out its support among this particular demographic. And since the Republican party has successfully disenfranchised 100% of African American voters in the United States, it’s hard to see many additional converts in the offing. Just keep it from falling into negative territory, please! Good? Okay, now go away…

The Black Leadership Council only has three chairman slots, so tough decisions had to be made among the many excellent black Republicans in Congress who applied. In the end, the Romney campaign went with Reps. Tim Scott and Allen West to fill two of the chairs, out of a congressional pool that included Reps. Tim Scott, Allen West, and no one else. The third chair will be Florida Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll, who is — get this — a black woman. Who knew?

The Black Leadership Council will tour the globe, explaining Mitt Romney’s plans to help struggling African American communities: yadda yadda yadda small businesses yadda whatever job creators etc etc yadda yadda privatize yr schools and so on.

“Barack Obama spoke to the best in us when he ran for president in 2008,” said Congressman Allen West. “Today, he’s running a negative campaign that says nothing about how we will end this economic downturn and put our country back on the path to prosperity. In Mitt Romney, we have a proven leader who will not speak to America with empty platitudes and soaring rhetoric, but will restore the exceptionalism of our Republic and secure the American dream for future generations. President Obama has been, and will continue to be, a disappointment. We are truly not better off as a country than we were four years ago. This election is not just about changing Presidents. This is a moral decision speaking to our greater Angels and the blessings of liberty and freedom we pass onto our children and grandchildren.”

“Mitt Romney is a man who has the experience and understands how the economy works and how to create jobs,” said Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll. With black unemployment at 14 percent, Mitt Romney’s job creating experience is exactly what we need to turn the economy around. Until we reform our education system, make a commitment to train skilled workers for the jobs of today and encourage more Black American small businesses, we will continue to see higher unemployment and poverty rates throughout our community. That’s a future none of us want to see, and it is one that Mitt Romney will commit to avoiding. Mitt Romney said, ‘hold him accountable’ for creating 12 million jobs, and this is an opportunity we should give him to make the economic conditions in our black communities better.”

Perhaps there are more details in the prospecticus, which will come around… later. What else? Oh, the whole “persecute the black population to maximize our share of resentful white voters” thing that’s been our party’s defining political tactic for the past 50 years… yeah that’s not going to change? Sorry, it just works so well.

[Romney via TPM]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  1. ChernobylSoup

    Tim Scott (R, S.C)
    Allen West (R, FL)
    Jennifer Carol (R, FL)

    When Nixon touted the Southern Strategy I thought he meant something completely different.

      1. finallyhappy

        And who wouldn't? I saw Adam West and Burt Ward this weekend- Adam West is still good looking and damn funny

  2. lochnessmonster

    But isn't training ppl in jobs skills a sort of education? That means spending money on ppl to learn things.

    1. Abernathy

      He's like the whitest man because he's actually the whitest white-man simulacrum robotics technology could develop.

    2. Warwhatgoodfor

      It's simply the blinding radiance of the hidden deity/owner of his own planet struggling to be free.

  3. MLHencken

    No other black Republicans were available….in this dimension.

    I think they might have better luck in Bizarro world. Assuming they survive an attack from Bizarro Superman.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Not to worry. Bizarro Superman would be holding up Republicans as poster kids for Truth, Justice and the American Way.

  4. LesBontemps

    Your duty: to say the exact same Republican talking points as everyone else, while being black.

    That is one tough assignment.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        To be fair, he did manage the 'being black' part of the assignment pretty well.

        He's also smart (no wonder he strayed off-point) and funny (no wonder they hated him.) Check out his interview with Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.

    1. Rotundo_

      They've already written off their immortal soul as a part of the republican initiation process, asking this isn't really that much of a stretch for them is it? After you have doubled down on evil, what is just a litte more?

  5. Trannysurprise

    I don't understand why Mitt's ideas of turning the black population into his personal servants isn't welcomed by the black community. What? They have some history with this??

  6. Self-Uploader

    I'm confused. I thought the Republican's didn't see race. Why would they start a separate group for black republicans. I'm pretty sure if the democrats did that there'd be a lot of finger pointing.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "You people" is everybody who wonders what happened to Mitt's money. GIven the value of Bain, his numbers are off even more badly that MF Global's. Not good, for a guy who "knows how to read a balance sheet."

  7. LastGasp

    "Dear [insert name of black person here], you have been named to the Black Leadership Council. We hope to see you at our next meeting. By the way, be sure to enter and exit via the back door. Thank-you."

    1. Rotundo_

      The first rule of the Black Leadership Council is you do not talk about the Black Leadership Council.

    1. Arborista

      I thought his plan was to own ALL of the 99% (or at least distribute us amongst his fellow one-percenters)…

    2. Rotundo_

      Serfs, Indentured Servants, Contract employee, you dont have to use unappealing labels that are racially charged. I'm sure that they can come up with some sort of cute label for it that sounds innocuous

  8. Baconzgood

    Mitt Romney creates the perfect jobs for blacks. Either none or min wage with no benefits or time off. It's win win for the GOP

    1. mrpuma2u

      Someone has to detail Ann's couple of Cadillacs, and those horse stables aren't going to shovel out themselves.

  9. coolhandnuke

    Putting Alan West on Mitt's Black Leadership Council is much like naming a 6'11 BYU black center as team captain….only West is shorter, stupider, crazier, racier and dishonorier.

  10. MaxNeanderthal

    Those black businesses he has in mind wouldn't be shoe-shiners, minstrels and telegram deliverers, would they? Oh, they would….

    1. MacRaith

      Oh, absolutely he did. They figure their mistake was in letting Steele have a post where he had a tiny bit of actual power. Mitt's Black Leadership Council won't have any power to do anything, or any money to spend, or really any point except to give him a little cover on race issues.

  11. GhostBuggy

    Be they black or white, can someone explain to me once again how Mitt Romney knows anything but jack shit how to create a single job?

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Mitt Romney has enough money to hire the whole country to remodel his various houses. But he won't do it unless we elect him first.

      1. shelwood46

        Well, come on, he has to have someplace to stay during the remodel, and hotels are just tacky when you can be put up in a mansion instead.

  12. Dumbedup

    Sorry, I see this as cover for the "turn it up to 11" phase of Rmoney's plan to race bait voters. Dog whistles will soon be audible sez me.

  13. BerkeleyBear

    Is the point of this to show that there are no Black Leaders in the current GOP? Because the three chairs are 2 freshman Tea Party loving nutjobs and a woman with a largely symbolic job in Skeletor's administration. Even Bush had better relationships with black people than Mittens, if this is what he can come up with.

  14. SorosBot

    So now it's time to pretend to outreach to black voters to try and claim the GOP isn't really racist and appeal to non-racist mushy middle white voters.

    1. shelwood46

      That was just code for: we are going to convert all "urban" high schools into vo-techs and drop all AP courses from them.

  15. SmutBoffin

    I think the Leadership Council is just a vehicle for the Romney campaign to make Cosbyesque pronouncements on minority culture without fear of allegations of RACASM.

  16. RRoccoco

    Translation: Big Daddy calls the house slaves in and demands they get the field hands to behave or else there will be some serious "job creation" for the cat o' nine tails.

  17. sbj1964

    OK people this is a crisis situation.We need a Black man to come to Mitt's Campaign! 'How about Will Smith sir? I said a"BLACK MAN!"Dammit people pay attention!

  18. fartknocker

    Will his new council allow black women who have their own opinions on reproductive rights? I want to watch that discussion.

  19. Guppy

    Woah. Almost had a Paultard-esque rebellion at the DNC, fighting against a pro-Israel platform amendment.

    Unlike the GOP, the leadership took some time before deciding to say "aw, fuck it."

    (Hell, I was afraid it was an amendment to quickly add God to the platform.)

  20. actor212

    Y'know what? For shits and giggles, Cornel West ought to switch his party registration over to Republican and run for one of these council seats.

      1. actor212

        I can almost hear him now, trying to lobby for one of the seats: "You see. I am. Trying. To. Be the change. You want. To see. I am. A. Republican. And I can help. You. Better see. Our point. Of View."

  21. iTuna

    Off-topic, but still related to black people, the DNC just had Gabby Douglass open events today with the Pledge of Allegiance. The crowd was stooooooked.

  22. Dudleydidwrong

    "Free at last! Free at last! Thank god almighty, we're free… What? The Man wants what? A couple of house slaves to stand out front and smile?"

  23. owhatever

    I make sure that all of my Nigras vote up at the big houses in several states, and I personally cast their ballots for the candidate they should choose. My name is Mitt Romney and approved this message.

  24. Estproph

    He almost had a blah the other day, with Nicki Minaj – until it came out as nonsense. I wonder how excited he got.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I'm going to guess that they just sincerely forgot that there are one or two black people that might actually be interested in the GOP until today.

  25. anniegetyerfun

    I wonder if Tim Meadows could put together some sort of Borat-style documentary on joining this Black Leadership Council? I miss Tim Meadows very much.

  26. Nostrildamus

    polls show Romney earning the support of a whole 0% of the African American vote

    And this effort could double that figure.

    1. kittensdontlie

      The GOP knows what it is like to throw a party and no one shows up….well all that twangy country music doesn't help.

      1. AznMom420

        On second thought booking Willie Nelson really did negatively effect GOP turnout. (but not GOP smokeout)

  27. Biff

    Whoawhoawhoa–whodat foo walking around the DNC in the Uncle Sam get-up with teabags dangling from the hat?

    ETA: Upon viewing a zoomed-in shot, he had the slashed circle drawn on the teabags. Not visible from afar…

  28. Tundra Grifter

    Down in Tampa the RNC put Mia Love on the podium (along with every other Blah Republican).

    She said her parents came to the US of A from Haiti in 1975 with $10 in their pockets. I hope a Wonketter knows more about this than I do. Would that be possible today? Do we allow immigrants to come here with no resources?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I don't suppose she talked about what made it possible for her parents to succeed with ten bucks in their pockets. Or did they "build that" all by themselves?

  29. MonkeyMotion

    And then they should nominate Lindsey Graham and Condi Rice to lead the Republican Gay & Lesbian Leadership Council.

    (Next up, nominations for Republican Hispanic-, Muslim-, and Atheist Leadership Councils.)

    I'm getting all warm & fuzzy!

  30. Guppy

    I think Pierluisi was the first speaker in either convention to even mention Puerto Rico's statehood referendum, let alone state a preference.

  31. Isyaignert

    Someone once said the Rmoney logo looks like a giant blue scythe attacking a red person. That's all I see now when I look at it.

  32. HogeyeGrex

    In Mitt Romney, we have a proven leader who will not speak to America with empty platitudes and soaring rhetoric,

    True, I suppose. In Mitt Romney, we have someone who will speak to America with soaring platitudes and empty rhetoric.

  33. Bonnieinchgo

    Really surprised that they didn't include Mia Love, for the triple: Black, Woman and MORMON. Maybe that would have been weird.

  34. GeorgiaBurning

    Great idea. "Leadership Council" sounds a lot better than "token shill", and it implies someone will invite you to a fancy dinner once in a while.

  35. Arborista

    Tim Scott benefited from the same shenanigans that benefited Jim DeMint in 2010- y'all heard about Alvin Greene, but did you ever hear of Ben Frasier?

    Tim Scott does have a Dem opponent this year, but he gets huge amounts of campaign funding from Club for Greed, Tea Party groups,etc., his Dem opponent lacks name recognition, & I honestly have no idea if Scott will benefit (or not) from the redistricting we got after the 2010 Census…

  36. AncienReggie

    It was bound to happen sooner or later: Allen West was finally right about something. Mitt Romney is for sure not going to speak to America with soaring rhetoric.

  37. CthuNHu

    In Mitt Romney, we have a proven leader who will not speak to America with empty platitudes and soaring rhetoric…

    Well, they got that half right.

  38. valthemus

    "In Mitt Romney, we have a proven leader who will not speak to America with empty platitudes and soaring rhetoric…"

    Oh dear… someone hasn't been listening.

    (Snark here feels redundant. It's a self-satirizing outreach thingy.)

Comments are closed.