In the time it takes you to make fun of this picture, this woman will have "earned" a couple thousand bucksHey–remember Gina Rinehart?  Oh, sure you do! She is the world’s richest woman and by some bizarre coincidence, also seems to be one of the world’s worst people. Here she is, warning Australians that it is ‘too expensive’ to mine there because she can hire Africans for less than $2 per day and oh, here she is again, suggesting that Australia make itself more profitable to her by passing a healthy wage cut. And before that, on Thursday, August 30, she advised us Poors to shut up and eat our gruel. No, really!  “If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain,” she said in a magazine piece. “Do something to make more money yourself — spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, and more time working.” What a nice lady! Isn’t she charming? What a national treasure for Australia, they must be so glad they have her all to themselves. Oh you do not find this charming? Well here, Mark Hendrickson has published a nice long essay in Forbes about how awesome Gina Rinehart is and why we should defend her specific brand of horribleness and praise her for telling the TRUTH, yes, the TRUTH, about Poors and how much we love our drinking and our socializing. Also? We should stop demonizing rich people because there are “good” rich people and “bad” rich people, and you’ll never guess which one Gina Rinehart is.

CNBC published some blunt statements made by Gina Rinehart, an Australian who is worth about $19 billion. Clearly tired of being dissed, vilified and attacked for her wealth, the outspoken Ms. Rinehart wrote an article full of unapologetic statements of economic truth. A choice sample: “There is no monopoly on becoming a millionaire. If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain. Do something to make more money yourself—spend less time drinking, or smoking and socializing and more time working.”

We will just interrupt real fast to point out that Gina Rinheart INHERITED her wealth. Also it’s possible that she was being “dissed, vilified, and attacked” for being a shitty person and her wealth had nothing to do with it, so let’s keep that in mind as we move on.

Ms. Rinehart wasn’t putting down people who work hard and haven’t struck it rich. What she protests (as I suspect many rich people do, but refrain from saying so because it would bring even more unpleasant attention to them) is people resenting honestly gained wealth as if some sort of crime against one’s fellow man had been committed. She knows that in a market economy, honest businessmen earn their fortunes by providing the goods and services that people want.

Yes, she HONESTLY inherited that wealth and now she’s HONESTLY trying to expand it by exploiting Poors in Africa, which is how all honest businessmen earn their fortunes, by providing “goods and services people want,” and who are we to put her down as though she gained that wealth through exploiting her fellow man — by, say, hiring Africans to work in mines for less than 2$ per day while she “earns” $600 per second.

The number one culprit to blame for anti-rich sentiment is rich people themselves—not the majority of rich people who are honorable, but the minority of rich people who got rich by cheating. Those cheaters fall into two categories—those who broke laws (frauds, thefts, etc.) and those who grabbed unearned, undeserved gains under the cover of the law (government privileges, such as subsidies, grants, special protections from competition, etc.)

By the way — that link? Which apparently serves as a citation to the assertion that a majority of rich people are honorable? It goes to an interview with some guy who is talking about reforming Wall Street using “vision and values,” and in no way demonstrates that rich people — a majority or otherwise — are honorable, even if we use “Wall Street” as a synonym for “rich people,” which itself is a pretty big leap.

We need a lot more fortunes like Gina Rinehart’s and a lot fewer fortunes like those that come from green boondoggles (Solyndra, et al.), ethanol mandates, agricultural subsidies, Wall Street bailouts, climate-change research grants, industrial semi-nationalizations, etc. Free-market fortunes add to our wealth; politically finagled fortunes subtract from it. The former are our economic benefactors, and the latter are economic parasites. We don’t need to tax the former more; we need to subsidize the latter less.

Yes, we totally need more fortunes that come from inheriting $30,000,000,000 from a parent and also from exploiting labor in the global south! This is what we need, you guys, and it’s a travesty — a TRAVESTY — to suggest otherwise, what are you, a communist?


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  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    She needs to be hit and I don't mean that in the nice way.

  • no_gravity

    Think with all that money she'd look into bariatric surgery.

    • OneDollarJuana

      I'd rather just put her (permanently) into a bariatric chamber.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      with all that money she should just buy Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility, though from the picture it looks like it'll take more than one…

    • Biff

      I was thinking gender species reassignment surgery.

    • Pat_Pending

      With all that money she can buy mirrors that let her see what she wants to see and a dildo for every day of the year.

  • freakishlywrong

    It's nice to know that Australia's entitled, hateful goblins are fat and ugly like ours. (Newt).

    • Antispandex

      Yes, and she doesn't seem to know that except for an accident of birth she would be shuffling around a single-wide in a muumuu.

    • OzoneTom

      And furthermore I'll be sober in the morning but she'll still be ugly and hateful.

    • hagajim

      Yeah – she may have inherited moolah, but jeebus christ on a crutch she didn't inherit any kind of looks. Someone beat that lady with an ugly stick early and often.

  • I'm sorry, but she looks and acts like she should be part of the cast of "Honey Boo Boo".

    Except maybe her show could be called "Money Boo Boo".

    • emmelemm

      Except with an Australian accent instead of deep South…

    • Boojum

      Money Moo Moo would libel cows.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Money Muu Muu, maybe?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    ”If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain, do something to make more money yourself — spend more time working.”

    I hope someone works hard at robbing her house and steals all her nice stuff, and fences it for a lot of money.

    • AbandonHope_

      Hey, that sort of burglary takes a lot of effort. I'm sure Ms. Rinehart would commend the fine, Randian fellow for showing such pluck and initiative.

    • This is precisely why I'm thinking of running for office on a piracy platform. It's hard work, risky, but the rewards can be enormous. Perfect capitalist trope.

    • hagajim

      At some point that may well be what it comes down to.

  • AbandonHope_

    Man, all I inherited from my parents was horrible eyesight and a propensity for annoying-but-non-life-threatening autoimmune disorders.

    I really should've worked harder and gotten better parents to start off with.

    • tessiee

      "all I inherited from my parents was horrible eyesight and a propensity for annoying-but-non-life-threatening autoimmune disorders"

      Suddenly I feel better about having inherited the Giant Ass DNA.

    • Biff

      My eyesight is fine, but I do have those auto-immune things working against me. Also, male pattern baldness. Oh, and that poverty thingie.

    • larrykat

      Sperm Lottery says…. No!

    • My girls are forever saying (sarcastically, of course) thank you for a variety of genetic wonders, such as: big butts, fleshy thighs, and shitty eyesight. Yet, they never thank us for huge boobs, tiny waists, and smarts. Go figure.

  • IncenseDebate

    Is Australia a continent? I forget. Gina qualifies.

  • Goonemeritus

    The fact that her dad accumulated a net worth of $19 billion and workers apparently are reduced to beer as their only consolation may hint at some basic inequity in the wage structure.

    • As a rich drunk, I'm deeply offended by Gina's remarks and wish she would take her clothes off

      I mean, shut up. *hic*

      Why am I naked?

      • Stevola

        Good god. Be careful what you wish for. Be really, really careful.

  • James Michael Curley

    From news and stories about Australia I have found little to change my opinion of them from my time there in 1970. Somewhat friendly, jingoistic southern red necks with cockney accents. (Liz is going to get me for this as its called strailin.)

    • prommie


      • James Michael Curley

        Now I remember.

    • One of my girls was there for a semester a few years ago. She would agree. She liked it, but said it was openly ignorant about racial matters.
      However, she loved New Zealand. Says it was very progressive and much more enlightened.

      • doloras

        As a New Zealander, I say thank you, but also point out that Australia is like the US, that sensible people congregate in the big cities (Sydney and Melbourne in particular), and that ignorant racist rednecks live in the suburbs and the countryside. Also Aborigines live in the countryside and it's not legal to shoot them for sport anymore, so there's that.

        • caitifty

          As an Australian.. Ok, I have to agree with you. I grew up and spent 10 years as an adult in various mining towns, and apart from all the racist Maori mine workers ragging on the Aborigines, the white Australians leave racist Americans for dead in terms of what they're willing to say in public..

      • James Michael Curley

        We’re talking about a country that had its “Whites Only” policy from around 1900 to 1967 and although it was supposedly changed by the legislature then, the Prime Minister died after a couple weeks in office and his next two successors thwarted it for years. Still when I went through Sydney’s airport in 1970 there was a Pakistani family sitting surrounded by all their luggage whom they were stopping from entering the country. I guess someone took the British Empire Passport theory to literally. I had to get a shot because I was entering from Vietnam and when I reported back six days later to see if the shot killed me, the family was still sitting there while, acceding to the customs officials “We’re still waiting for the Paki’s to take the blighty darkies back.”It was like 1990 and they still were discovering previously uncontested aboriginal tribes. The Punitibu, I think, were discover in the dessert west of that big rock which name I forget.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    She's twice divorced, obviously, because even $30 billion won't keep a man from gagging while he's fucking this human sack of potatoes.

    FUN FACT: Gina's father adored Nicolae Ceaușescu, and she's a global warming denialist. Good times.

    • Boojum

      She's a globe and she's frigid. Q.E.D. motherfucker.

    • Goonemeritus

      Don’t leave out the fact that she has taken legal action to deny her own children the inheritance they were given by their Grandfather.

      • tessiee

        So did Paris Hilton's grandfather, but I'm OK with that.

    • and she's trying to hoover up aussie media to control the global warming message.

      • HistoriCat

        Is Rupert Murdoch going to have to cut a bitch?

    • James Michael Curley

      "Pardon me boys, are you the cats that shot Ceaușescu?"

      Mark Russel is considering coming out of retirement as a public service to the nation.

      "Oh beautiful for spacious skies
      For amber waves of grain.
      My money is in Zurich
      And some is in Bahrain.
      So, vote for me, a business man
      As president I'll reign.
      Until then don't ask what year it was
      When I left my job at Bain.

      My tax returns are buried
      In an off-shore cave. Go look.
      One of my greatest heroes said it best:
      "I am not a crook."
      And when I win, I promise
      I'll be singing this refrain.
      Maybe then I will remember
      The year that I left Bain."

  • littlebigdaddy

    But she built it!

  • memzilla

    This Ozzie azzhat might make a stronger case for her oligarchs-deserve-blowjobs-from-the-99% position if she herself didn't look like a vat of white lumpy bread dough that got formed by being thrown onto the rumble strip of the Triborough Bridge approach and having tractor-trailers run over it.

    • Boojum

      Now, I think that would be an interesting experiment, to redo that process and see if she turned into a decent human being. Or a mushy pile of red goo.

      Win win, I think.

      Hey, am I being just a little bit stabby today?

  • NorthStarSpanx

    "She knows that in a market economy, honest businessmen earn their fortunes by providing the goods and services that people want."

    Apparently, estheticians, sytlists, nutritionists, yoga instructors or personal trainers are not services she wants.

  • CrunchyKnee

    I still wouldn't hit that.

    • SmutBoffin

      Would $100000000 change your mind?

      • memzilla

        Yes, right up until the check cleared, and then it would be Snagglepuss time, "Exit… stage left!" 'Cuz you could buy a couple lifetimes worth of therapy and memory-erasing drugs and still live comfortably on the remainder.

      • Kid_Charlemagne

        Be careful. After coitus, she bites her partner's head off.

    • UnholyMoses

      I would …

      … with a truck.*

      (* My car would be totaled, so a truck it is!**)

      (** I keed, I keed.***)

      (*** My car would do just fine.)

    • Steverino247

      How could you miss?

  • proudgrampa

    You know, I rarely use this word. But she deserves it.

    That cunt.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Hey, I like cunts….! How about sow, instead.?…I'm not as partial to pork….

    • HogeyeGrex

      Lacking the required warmth, depth and charm.

      CUNT LIBEL!!!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This lady is ugly inside and out.

  • SmutBoffin

    You know what comes from socializing? SOCIALISM!

    I mean, just look at the two words. Also, it's in the Bibble.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    I'd hit that… with a brick. (POW! ….. lil dollink!*#*)

    • GlowneyHouse

      Krazy Kat libel!

    • prommie

      He loves me!

  • C'mon, Aussies, first Russell Crowe and now this?

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      You forgot Yahoo Serious, Foster's Beer, and Ugg Boots.

      • Keith Urban, Rupert Murdock, Paul Hogan…

        • Kid_Charlemagne

          Air Supply

        • emmelemm

          For a minute I thought you were talking about Karl Urban, and I was like, Hey, he's pretty cute!… oh, never mind.

          • SorosBot

            But he's from New Zealand, not Australia! Though it is sometimes hard to tell the difference.

          • emmelemm

            Not to the New Zealanders!

          • HistoriCat

            Hobbit libel!

      • Kid_Charlemagne

        Technically it's Foster's "Lager."

        • hagajim

          Australian for beer….what's Australian for ugly cow?

          • MissTaken

            Gina Rinehart.

    • Don't forget Mel Gibson!

      • Outback Steakhouse, also, too.

      • SorosBot

        And of course Rupert Murdoch and thus Fox News.

      • tessiee

        "Don't forget Mel Gibson!"

        We WILL forget him.
        But we will blow him first.

      • And the Brothers Gibb, purveyors of the worst falsettos in the music biz!

        • Veritas78

          Now you've gone too far.

    • VaWyo

      If only Hugh Jackman could be their lone export.

      • HistoriCat

        Why do you hate Nicole Kidman?

        • hagajim

          Now that, I'd hit.

        • miss_grundy

          She was born in Hawaii, but raised in Australia…

          • HistoriCat

            Facts are stupid things.

    • horsedreamer_1

      AC/DC could not write enough single entendres to get me hard enough to hit that, either.

  • Antispandex

    But it's so EASY for her to make money! Just think how much Jenny Craig would pay her to lose half a metric ton or so. The poors have to PAY for their Jenny Craig! On the serious side though, I wonder how long it will take for these comments to result in the next "French Revolution"? La grande terreur 2013?

  • sbj1964

    Her ugliness comes from the inside out.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    And how much of her wealth was accrued from the lands of, or on the backs of, Aboriginals? I'll bet she's got a high opinion of them too.

    • bargal20

      Her father once expressed a wish to entice aborigines who lived on his mining claims to poisoned waterholes.

  • Gina Reinhart vs. Chris Christie kitten eating contest!

    • IonaTrailer

      Oh, the horror… how could you?!!

      • tessiee

        Because we all know that after all the kittens are gone, they'll turn against each other.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Precisely. I was thinking "If we just took the word 'kitten' out of that, it would be awesome!" Starve them both for a week beforehand and set 'em loose with forks.

          Two blobs enter. One blob leaves.

  • Lucidamente1

    Someone has slipped way too many shrimp on the barbie.

    • Beowoof

      I think it is the quarts of liquid butter chasers.

  • Richie Rich's inverted doppelganger Bitchie Rich.

  • Terry

    She's the richest woman in the world? What happened to Christina Onassis? If Christina slipped down the ladder, I hope she did so while enjoying herself immensely.

    I googled around and apparently Christina/Athina is only worth about $3 billion, due to some inheritance tangles associated with the trust her family set up for her.

  • She gets $600 a second for being stupid, bitchy, hateful and obtuse? Shit, I'll do it for half that.

    • Stevola

      I don't get paid at all

  • Yes, she HONESTLY inherited that wealth and now she’s HONESTLY trying to expand it by exploiting Poors in Africa

    "Behind every great fortune there is a great crime,"

    – Honore de Balzac

    • memzilla

      "When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'" — Don Marquis.

      • tessiee


    • MOG2410

      Explains my income, I'm only good a petty crime.

  • no_gravity

    Think her frock from Omar's cost more than $350.00 (usd)?

    • widestanceromance

      The steel-reinforced rope needed to stitch it together costs more than that.

  • VaWyo

    “Do something to make more money yourself…"

    I tried but there is no way to go back in time and get born into a rich family.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      Just borrow Obama's time machine- you can fix up any niggling inconsistencies with your birth certificate and seal your school records while you're back there…

  • Looks like we need a head-to-head Most Disgusting Publication competition, pitting Forbes against National Review.

    We could call it the Great Fuck-off.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    Where have I seen her before?? Oh, I remember! Wasn't she the one making out with that chick in the Skittles commercial??

    • prommie

      I think she's the one sucking her own dick in that aquarium, embarrassing all the parents there with their kids.

  • Boojum

    And I think John Sununu is not the only wide person who would make a large target for a Predator fired Hellfire.

    If we are going to have a class war, can we start using some real fucking weapons?

    I mean, such as votes. We could put a butterfly ballot on the front of the missile.

  • cc423

    What do you expect from the hack who wrote a book entitled:
    “Famous But Nameless: Lessons and Inspiration from the Bible’s Anonymous Characters"

  • Wilcoxyz

    I didn't know Divine moved to Australia and became rich.

    • IonaTrailer


    • Blueb4sinrise

      Shit-eater slander!!

  • SexySmurf

    You know for shits and giggles I did a Google search for "gina rinehart government subsidies" and look what I found.

    I guess Mark Hendrickson couldn't spend 5 minutes to do that because he was too busy looking for climate-change research grant millionaires.

    • Beowoof

      It is interesting how they try to sell the same bullshit all around the world. And it is frightening how many buy it.

  • Not_So_Much

    Guessing her first name is pronounced "Jeye-nah"?

    • Beowoof

      I would Ja bah

    • nmmagyar

      Does that rhyme with va-jeye-nah?

  • Gina Rinehart is john sununu with more hair.

    • Boojum

      And uglier clothes.

  • Fairtackle

    In her defense, there would be a lot more poor people around if she wasn't eating so many of them.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      Modestly of course…

    • "If you don't want to be eaten, run faster!!"

      • Fairtackle

        Proof the poors are lazy. You wouldn't have to run that fast.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Oh, Mark Hendrickson, no matter how much you suck it up to this troll and try to get her to be your Sugar Mommy, she ain't having it. Maybe she'll have you for dinner*, but that's it.

  • You know what's good about Australia? It's got an appalling array of dangerous wildlife (yes, I learned that from, why do you ask?) Hopefullly one of them will do the world a favor and inject Jabba here with something lethal.

    • Why would you wish such tragedy on the blue ringed octopus or the box jellyfish, mate?

    • tessiee

      Bill Bryson wrote a very entertaining and informative book about Australia, called, "In a Sunburned Country", which goes into some detail about the dangerous wildlife there and all the horrible ways it can maim/kill you. HIghly recommended.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I'd settle for having all that lard solidify in a major artery.

  • Arkoday

    Next femme-fatale for Rush.

    • IonaTrailer

      I bet Newt would hit it

  • MacRaith

    Oh yeah, poor people should get off their asses and get rich by working for $2 a day in her mines. That'll work out real well for them.

    • comrad_darkness

      Miners in Australia are fairly well paid. That's why she has her britches twisted up in her giant camel toe.

  • SorosBot

    "but the minority of rich people who got rich by cheating"

    It's a strange use of "minority" to point to people that make up almost all of the class described in its entirety.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    Gawd, it has to be height of irony for a lucky slob who inherited every dime to her name to chastise the poor/middle class for not working hard enough to make a living.

    • comrad_darkness

      In the interests of exactitude, she didn't inherit it all. She started with a billion and a half and then road the wave of booming commodities the last few decades. But of course, it's not the bubble, it's her personal brilliance that's to be credited.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    "Do something to make more money yourself — spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, and more time working.”

    …thinks it over…

    Nope, I'm good, thanks!

  • WhatTheHeck

    I guess she will never die of heart failure, because there’s no heart whatsoever.

    • NellCote71

      Cheney libel.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh my, oh my. If I was queen of the world, I would do anything, just ANYTHING for this woman to have to spend the rest of her life as a miner, on 2 dollars a day. I would love nothing more than to see how fair and just and worthy of that amount she finds her work, for the like, 2 weeks she lived, before her fat heart exploded and she died face down in a hole. I hate this woman.

    • Boojum

      I just fell in love with you.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      One problem. She wouldn't fit down the mine shaft.

      • prommie

        Doesn't that sound like the name of a gay bar, The Mine Shaft?

    • prommie

      How do we even know to yearn for justice, when really it never happens, how can it be we know to desire so fervently something that we have never actually seen in reality? All religions, all literature, drama, comic books, action movies, its really all about the thirst for a world in which there is justice. Where does this notion come from?

      • FakaktaSouth

        Mine's from movies like Karate Kid and Better Off Dead. You know, putting it in the face of the sneery whining bitch ass bully type who eventually gets humiliated publicly in the end and the good guy gets the girl with the big hair and lots of teeth. I know, I'm not as high-falluting as you, with your poetry and bongo music, but still, I like to see it.

        • prommie

          Ah, like in Up The Creek!

          • FakaktaSouth

            Yes, it's always only about Jennifer Runyon justice.

          • prommie

            I enjoy being the only person who is aware she exists anymore.

          • prommie

            And you can't fault her hair and teeth.

          • FakaktaSouth

            No, I personally for some strange reason have always had a fondness for gals with both of those things. I cannot imagine why. And I JUST SAID HER NAME, so obviously you aren't the ONLY person who knows Charles' most lovely charge was a terribly important literary figure.

          • You guys and your '80s blondes! I'm all about the Debra Wingers, Valerie Harpers and Suzanne Pleshettes. Not to mention JJ's sister on Good Times, Lisa Bonet, Jayne Kennedy and Marilyn McCoo.

          • FakaktaSouth

            HEY NOW! I didn't say I wanted to date one, I just am one (a fake haired one mostly since the old) and I could cry that you wouldn't like me anyway. But I would still love you and try to make you mine, I could dye my hair! CHET! LOVE ME!!! I will not be ignored!!!! And I would fight you for Lisa Bonet ANY day.

          • OK, I wouldn't turn up my nose at Naomi Watts. And she's Australian and her last name is Watts, so we come full circle! Also, Nastassja Kinski and her snake owned my '80s.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I swear you say Natassja and I think snake immediately. Spencer's always had that poster RIGHT UP FRONT at the mall. Amazing. And yeah, way to pick Naomi as your bar for blondes, she's beautifullllllll…

          • What was that movie Nastassja was in, "The French Lieutenant's Amuse-Bouche" or something?

          • spinozasgod

            wasn't she in "cat people"?

          • Suzanne Pleshette is the first woman I ever had a crush on. I was 11.

          • One of my Junior High crushes, too!

      • Alan Watts, the Brit Esalen Zen Sage who was the model for Obi-Wan Kenobi, said Good is always winning but never completely wins, while Evil is always losing but never completely loses.

    • The average African consumes two gallons of water a day, or less than you or I would flush in one sitting. That includes drinking, cooking, bathing and santiation.

      Or about as much as Rinehart here would use to wash her arm wattles.

      • prommie

        I sometimes wonder how many bottles of water it takes to wash out the dasani bottles before they fill them with the same fucking water they washed them with.

      • Wait a minute — are you Bill Clinton?! Or at least have you partied on an international flight with him?! 'Cause that sounds mighty Global Initiative-y!

        • If I was Bill Clinton, I'd be partying with Editrix, cuz Hills is in East Fucking Timor and no one is monitoring the ankle bracelet.

    • BlueStateLibel

      Yeah, but you'd probably be doing her health a big favor with the restricted food intake and the exercise. Her clogged arteries would thank you. Must think of some more dastardly retribution…

    • docterry6973

      From your mouth to God's ear. Or your keyboard. Whatever.

  • HempDogbane

    The boys need to take the bus to Australia and visit yet another wacko.

  • ”If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain”

    Reminds me of the children's story, The Cunt and the Grasshopper.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Are there no workhouses?

    Gratuitous link to Monday's Diane Rehm Show interview with the author of a book on Dickens and the London system of Poorhouses . Worth a listen, even though Rehm will annoy you by over-talking the writer's points.

    Christ, have we really made so little progress? (OK, hyperbole, but… Jesus, these people!)

    • glasspusher

      Progress is our middle name! Unfortunately, "No" is our first name.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Thanks, Mr. Foryou.

        • glasspusher


    • the only reason we have any progress is because we continually fight for it – and continually bat troglodytes back to their caves.


  • freakishlywrong

    "We're going to need a bigger guillotine".

    • Boojum

      You, my friend, have won it all.

    • A harpoon will do.

      • glasspusher

        Indeed. Don't you need to find the neck to use a guillotine ?

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    She seems to be trying to corner the market on chins too.

  • Callyson

    OK, Wikipedia, what can you tell us about this bitch?

    In the 2010s, Rinehart bought a stake in media organisations, becoming the largest shareholder in Fairfax Media and taking a significant share in the Ten Network Holdings.

    Uh oh, Rupert Murdoch has a new competitor…

  • IonaTrailer

    Clearly, she's never seen a pork chop she didn't eat.

  • Baconzgood

    $2 a day buys a lotta hobo beans.

    • vodkamuppet

      Where are you getting your hobo beans? You got a hobo bean guy?

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I'm not sure why, but when I see her photo and hear what she has to say, all I can hear is Scarlett O'Hara whining because the darkies and prison labor aren't churning out lumber fast enough at Mr. Kennedy's mill.

    • tessiee

      Scarlett O'Hara was at least pretty.

  • widestanceromance

    I can't hate her for being fat, since her fat hates her more for being hers.

  • SorosBot

    She's also angry because someone ruined her favorite decoration by releasing Han Solo from the carbonite.

    • tessiee

      Jabba the Slut.

    • hagajim

      Jabba the Cu*t?

  • UnholyMoses

    "She knows that in a market economy, honest businessmen earn their fortunes by providing the goods and services that people want."

    But in the economy we actually have, most earn their fortunes by inheritances, or by nearly destroying the entire world economy because they know the government will provide them with billions of dollars in bailouts, which lets them keep their fortunes and, thus, gives them more chances to call anyone not rich a leach, parasite or other insult.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Also, us unwashed masses can't buy the good and services those awesome businessmen produce unless we're paid an honest wage!

  • UnholyMoses


  • Ulghch.

  • ChernobylSoup

    If I have to jump out the way because one more climate scientist speeds by in his Ferrari…

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      That was the bit that annoyed me as well.

      "Here's a research grant"

      "Great! Now I can install that pool I wanted!"

  • tessiee

    Skinny bitch needs to eat a sangwich.

  • Wadisay

    I would not bang this lady with John Sununu's dick.

  • tessiee

    "We've already given You People everything you need to eat."

  • vodkamuppet

    Tits or GTFO!

    • emmelemm


  • tessiee

    "Clearly tired of being dissed, vilified and attacked for her wealth"

    But dissing, vilifying, and attacking her for being a hateful pigbeast from hell is still OK, right?

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Well, there's enough of her to go around! Ha ha ha! Oh, I kill myself.

    • tessiee

      Also, when she sits around the house mansion, she sits *around* the house mansion!

    • Around what? Jupiter?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      She's so huge, she needs Moses to help her find her………………Eewwww.

  • upthruster

    She's believed to take in $611 a second…or is that 611 calories a second? Either way all that money will be going towards the yards of fabric needed for her custom clothes.
    I can forgive poor people for being out of shape because they eat what they can afford and it ain't healthy, but Gina "the fridge" Rinehart has no excuse and all the time in the world.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    I didn't know the Sand Witch exist in Western Australia

  • i didn't think orcs actually existed.

  • tessiee

    "the majority of rich people who are honorable"

    Please list all the honorable ways to make $600 per second.

    • Boojum

      No one can fuck that fast.

  • Arborista

    One of my favorite novels is called 'An Innocent Millionaire'. The protagonist realizes early on in his life that becoming wealthy obliges you to exploit people, so he decides to figure out a way to become wealthy without exploiting anyone.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Apparently, fat, ugly and stupid are the new goals of the rich….good to know…

    • tessiee

      And mean! Can't be a good richie if you're not mean as cat shit.

    • schvitzatura

      She's built for the Gilded Age richie-class. The fat is a signifier of wealth (above subsistence level caloric intake was doing pretty good) and the points to the ability to afford nightly multi-course repasts (with exceedingly elaborate entremets). Corset makers wept at the sight of her arrival on their boutique doorstep.

  • UnholyMoses

    "Free-market fortunes add to our wealth; politically finagled fortunes subtract from it."

    Which is why General Dynamics, Xe, Halliburton, and all of those other defense contractors are going bankrupt left and right.

    Oh, wait …

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    C'mon you lazy poors, it's your own fault for not choosing wealthy parents. Bunch of slackers…

  • comrad_darkness

    Speaking of whacky Aussies.

    The Republicans should definitely take up the cause of this evangelical doctor whose rights to freely practice his religion have been so terribly violated.

  • prommie

    Rising up and taking back
    The property of every man
    Oh it's easy.
    So, so easy

    Rising up to break this thing
    From family trees the dukes do swing
    Just one blow to scratch the itch
    The law's made for and by the rich
    It would be easy.
    So, so easy.

  • IncenseDebate

    John Madden needs a haircut.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Regarding the headline: Yeah, we could use more people like her. I can't be expected to paint the same archery target over and over.

    EDIT: …th-that I'll shoot with vote arrows! They're tricky ones that don't harm the target outside of making them smell like shit!

  • metamarcisf

    What if you knew her and found her dead on the ground?

    • Boojum

      I would rent a bull dozer?

    • tessiee

      Well, for starters, it would probably be at least a 5 on the Richter scale when she landed…

    • Build a tent around her and sell Bounce Castle rides to kids?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Do not call the Oregon Department of Highways to get rid of her?

    • widestanceromance

      Wait five days and call someone who cared?

    • CindynEncinitas

      Start stockpiling food and batteries for the tsunami?

    • Rotundo_

      Pee into her sightless staring eyes.

      Although the nostrils would be a fun target too.

  • magic_titty

    Did she inherit her obesity or earn it through hard work? This is an important distinction that will factor in my decision re: whether or not to make fun of her weight.

    • glasspusher

      I have my mother's hips. I have to accept that.

    • It takes enormous willpower to consume a whole goat in one sitting.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    So that's what Jabba has been up to since filming wrapped on the last movie…

  • prommie

    You poor, take courage, you rich, take care
    This earth was made a common treasury for everyone to share
    All things in common, all people one
    We come in peace, the order came to cut them down

  • deliman4

    Put another GOOGOO on the BLINGBLING,and don't forget to buy the Bloomin' onion

  • mustangsavvy

    Hey America since you love Gina so much and are writing important articles in Forbes about her – please take her? Please? Australia has enough national treasures!

    Also: for fuck's sake Gina, just fuck off already.

  • Here she is, warning Australians that it is ‘too expensive’ to mine there because she can hire Africans for less than $2 per day

    How much money does it cost to move a mine from Australia to Africa, tho, dumbass?

    • prommie

      Once "free trade" has had its intended effect of lowering every nation's labor rates, and standard of living to the lowest common denominator, then there will be no need to move the mine! Till then, you arbitrage the differing standards of living and make a fortune off the suffering of the poorest while simultaneously reducing the better off people to the same level as the poorest!

  • comrad_darkness

    Getting rich is just as easy as losing weight, right Gina?

  • proudgrampa

    "Gina Rinehart was hospitalized yesterday, he had trouble breathing. She first noticed there was a problem when she had difficulty inhaling a pizza."

    “Opening in Sydney tomorrow is the circus. They put up the big tent, although this year it’s Gina Rinehart's dress.”

    Totally plagiarized.

    • SorosBot

      She got stuck in a limo and ate herself to death.

  • mustangsavvy

    Gina: "The poor are poor because they didn't have the good sense to inherit their fortune. Like I did. Therefore – they should only be paid $2 a day for the privilege to work in the mines that I own. Via inheritance."

    She's definitely in the lead for Dickhead of the Year award.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I have heard people say "It's not what you say, but how you say it."

    I'd like to hit those people in the fucking mouth, because it's both.

  • tessiee

    John Goodman could just take his bit playing Linda Tripp and give it an Ozzie accent.

  • rickmaci

    Jeeebuzz. You're giving us photos of Jabba the Dingohut and HuffPo is gving us really meaningful analysis of the impact of the Clinton speech. How about showing a little consideration here?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I think the word "inherited" is a bit incorrect here. With simple gravitational force this lovely lady could attract all the gold in Fort Knox.

  • glasspusher

    Nothing is an excuse to be an asshole.

  • sbj1964

    What is wrong with people like her,and Mittens they have more than they could ever want,and it still is'nt enough to fill that empty soul.All they have is hate & Greed.And contempt for the rest of us.

  • prommie

    Why not one more? Why the fuck not!

    "I opened up an agency somewhere down the line
    To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines
    But I attached their wages and took a whopping cut
    And whisked away their workman's comp and pauperized the lot

    I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt
    I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt
    I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
    I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy"

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Wonkette, you are a harsh, harsh mistress. This quick shear from Michelle's beauty and poise to this woman's "neither of those" is taking a big toll on my manly bits.

    Could we have had a buffer post of maybe Bea Authur?

    It's like a kid with their learners permit applying the brakes.

  • What pluck and perseverance it took for Regan to become the richest woman in the world while possessed by a vile and disgusting demon! This shows other demon-disabled children that the condition can be controlled with the latest rites, and one can live a long life of avarice.

  • lumpenprole

    This woman is to Eric Cartman what the Bush Presidency was to The Onion.

  • pdiddycornchips

    It's a good thing most people who read and believe this know nothing about the history of elites exploiting the masses. They'll never see it coming. I suppose Marie Antoinette and the Romanov's where just as surprised as these douchebags are going to be when they are dragged from their fortresses. History suggests we're nearing a tipping point. When fat, uneducated cretins like her lecture us about the virtues of hard work and her peers nod in agreement, it's a sign the market is about to have a correction. She can best serve mankind as reminder of the consequences of greed and aravice.

    • i have to defend marie antoinette here. she may have been vapid but she was hardly the master of her own fate like this australian orc.

      or the monster. this women lives in a first world country in the 21st c. for fuck's sake.

      • pdiddycornchips

        I hear ya. My point being she was oblivious. She could have fled and avoided her fate. Many of her social standing did. She didn't and not because of some misguided loyalty to the crown.

  • tessiee

    "honest businessmen earn their fortunes by providing the goods and services that people want"

    Like for example, Gina could wear a white blouse and we could show movies on her back; that might be kinda fun.

    • Her bra strap…and please, don't put the other thought in my head…would create a shadow

      • vodkamuppet

        The back sweat might be a distraction too.

    • vodkamuppet

      Nicely done. I hate lol comments but this is great.

  • Chichikovovich

    From the look of that photo, I think she got one of those "Picture of Dorian Gray" portraits for her attic. But she accidentally put it in backwards.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Damn IKEA instructions!!!

      There is only so much one painting can do.

    • nice

    • Stepped through the fun house mirror.

  • tessiee

    "warning Australians that it is ‘too expensive’ to mine there because she can hire Africans for less than $2 per day"

    And then complaining about illegal immigrants in 5…

    • Biff

      Thing is, you mine where the ore is. You don't look for gold in a lead mine, I don't think.

  • We need a lot more fortunes like Gina Rinehart’s and a lot fewer fortunes like those that come from green boondoggles (Solyndra, et al.), ethanol mandates, agricultural subsidies, Wall Street bailouts, climate-change research grants, industrial semi-nationalizations, etc. Free-market fortunes add to our wealth

    Dude, she's a walking agricultural subsidy!

  • usuhname

    I'm so glad that someone nice for a change like Gina Rinehart inherited billions of dollars from stuff sat in the earth. Its such a shame when its a plutocratic emotionless blob-mutant with a delusional self-justifying sense of superiority. Sack of Shit for short … which is most definitely not the case here!

    Because digging a few feet into the ground and claiming it MINE is very, very, difficult, more so when the (super lazy) africans are doing the diggin for you!

    What happened to the days when you could pass off beans as currency?

  • An_Outhouse

    Does that fat bitch need a fashion advisor? I hear Sununu might be looking for a position soon.

  • Biff

    Her house has not only a car elevator, but also a freight elevator.

  • Cheap African labor built this country, and cheap African resources continue to multiply everybody's wealth but Africa's. Maybe Africans should shoot fat Australian cows who come trolling for a penny-an-hour labor force, and nationalize all the bauxite, gold, oil and coffee. That'll give the white teabaggers something to be askeered of.

    • docterry6973

      But the white teabaggers are just trying to help! That is their burden, you know.

    • Biff

      And the tobacco, don't forget the tobacco!

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    I dunno who she inheritted her money from, but she looks like she inherritted her looks from the old hag on Throw Mama From The Train….

    • Biff

      Unfortunate mating of Tugboat Annie and Jabba the Hutt Rush Limbaugh.

  • Daddy made his money the old fashioned way, first by inheriting a fortune then by refusing to pay the health claims from workers at the Blue Asbestos Mine. Midnight Oil wrote a little ditty about them.

  • Estproph

    Herman Cain has really let himself go after the primaries.

  • it would be cool if her minerals ran out.

    • usuhname

      I assume we're talking about the same thing, but NO her sacks of alien spider-eggs are still ovulating nicely ACTUALLY!

      • RIGHT! i've been calling her an orc, but shelob is TOTALLY the right answer.


  • BornInATrailer

    She looks like a bag of farts tied up ugly.

  • Estproph

    Also, I thought the Lord Of The Rings was filmed in New Zealand. Maybe Australia is close enough to have cave trolls.

  • barto

    Yep, she's one of the gooduns. Good God, ya'll.

  • docterry6973

    I'd rather mine minesfuff for $2 a day than kiss a wicked person like her, even if her $19 billion came with it.

    Aw, who am I kidding?

  • CindynEncinitas

    We need to drop her fat fucking ass off in South Central L.A. and see how her logical arguments and clear-headedness help her there.

    • hagajim

      Yeah…let the MUYS at her….hahahahahahaha

  • Comrade Snowball

    If she is a "Capitalist" then yes, I admit it, I'm a Communist.

    • Honestly, "capitalists" like this lady likely manage to recruit more folks for communism than the Communist Party USA, Workers World Party, MIM, and that really cute red-headed radical I once met, all combined.

  • Forgive me the thread is long and I'm sure someone else has surmised as much but are we absolutely sure that's not Limbaugh in a wig?

  • ChickTract_Fil_A

    I will do something. Starting with boycotting any company that uses iron ore from her company.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    "What she protests (as I suspect many rich people do, but refrain from saying so because it would bring even more unpleasant attention to them) is people resenting honestly gained wealth as if some sort of crime against one’s fellow man had been committed"

    Maybe. Or maybe it's resentment against whiny bitches who use their cash to fuck other people over. Take your pick.

  • SaintRond

    Jesus Christ, it's like Lina Wertmuller's Seven Beauties.

  • DahBoner

    Good luck hiring Africans to work for $2 a day in Australia.

    They won't show up. Because they're afraid to swim.


  • LibertyLover

    I don't watch reality shows, but I might just watch a reality show called Millionaire Survivor where they have to live on the shit they are shoveling. Or at least live on the $2 a day that they want others to work for. They wouldn't even have to work.

  • Nostrildamus

    Her fat is revolting! *

    * in the sense it is spontaneously organizing itself into independent, roving mobs.

  • Amanwithnoplan

    It's nice when the pustulated outside wrapper matches the disgusting shite personality on the inside. Lookalike: Old Tiberius from "I Claudius" just before Caligula pillowed him.

  • Naked_Bunny

    I'm amused by the fact that Forbes' quote of the day is Napoleon saying that ability has nothing to do with opportunity, which is basically the opposite of what the article is about. Also, quoting Napoleon in your free market rag, WTF?

  • CindynEncinitas

    I'm still trying to figure out, you know, what she, herself, has done to be so rich? You know, how did she, like, earn the money she has? You know, herself. What does she, like, DO? Since her days as a Victoria's Secret model, I mean…

  • vulpes82

    Isn't this the woman whose father hated her, and whose children are being cheated by her? Yes, we need more life lessons from her. Also, all that money and she looks like THAT? When you have billions, you don't even have to have any taste; you can just pay people to have taste for you.

  • larrykat

    Fucking tub of guts.

  • TootsStansbury

    All that lard would render up a lot of torch fuel.

  • rocktonsam

    hey lady, I do my best drinking, smoking and socializing when I'm working,

  • Arborista

    OT: So sweet to see the multi-culti Dems dancing…

    Oh, then some guy came out & banged his gavel so now they're having an invocation.

  • hagajim

    Downpresser hog, where you gonna run to, downpresser hog, where you gonna run to…

  • Wake me up when she sings and I'll go home.

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    It's nice to see the wealth worshippers of this country out there defending an overprivileged, ugly inside and out, fat, slothy member of the lucky sperm club. I mean to read this asshole you'd think this bitch knew something about work and "she built it" when as is ALMOST always the case, she made it the old fashioned way: her daddy built it by inseminating an egg (and judging by her looks, it was a ROTTEN one). I don't know if this asshole is just lazy and made assumptions based upon the pure egotistic self aggrandizement of wealth worship or if he is really delusional to think she did a thing to earn any of it aside from managing to survive birth. Sure, the poors need to stop socializing, drinking and being resentful…we need to do things the Gina Rinehardt way: shrink ourselves down to sperm and go inseminate the egg of a rich CUNT.

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    oh and here's part 2 because ID was upset with my long winded comment: That's how you become successful and oh, by the way not only should we not resent, we should volunteer to let her exploit us; I mean someone this AWESOME shouldn't have to pay wages, why those create uncertainty! Docile slaves in service to Catherine the bloated here is the way to go. Did I mention I hate fucking wingnuts today? No, well I do…and I hate toy-Randites like this asshole even more so for writing shit like this and being paid money for doing it.

  • punkneverdies

    I don't really want to be a millionaire. Is it now just down to those two options?

  • missannthropethefirst

    Isn't this the woman who is trying to screw her own children out of the money their grandfather left them? Claiming they don't deserve it?

  • ttommyunger

    I remember her. Local Peeping Toms chipped in to buy her some curtains.

  • Bongstar420

    Lets all inherit the same quantities and access to means. Then we can have this conversation.

  • Bongstar420

    It doesn’t matter if she is desirable looking or not.

  • Bongstar420

    Its the one good thing she could bad its lie. No matter what, they will get access to more than most people get for their entire life.

  • Bongstar420

    Yes. Rich people prefer a system that consolidates their power…IE rich people vs poor people

  • Bongstar420

    Just think about it…her graddaddy was that rich and still couldn’t pull woman he actually wanted.You can’t tell me the mother was a great lady. Look at her behavior. She seems horrible. Probably Butthurt she is fat and ugly no matter how many billions she accrues at the expense of people who work for a living.

  • Bongstar420

    They will have ai drones to put you down that you built for them (people who actually work for a living)

  • Bongstar420

    So her kids are living on welfare going to a public school in an area of poverty?

    When billionaires say their kids won’t get anything…they mean all they get is a few million dollars and access to entry level ivy schools.

    Also, this means that the accrued wealth will likely go to some perpetual system of capital control which implements their design for society. This is most likely because they do not trust their kids to do what they want them to do. Rich people have control issues

  • Bongstar420

    Forbes, like all rich people mouth pieces, want people to believe that so few people merit wealth…from that quote it obviously implies that the rich are the most meritorious because it creates the assumption that rich over power those with more opportunity with sheer ability- this is extremely rare and sheer ability is still always a secondary factor to opportunity.

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