Last night, First Lady Michelle Obama gave her DNC speech, and in a pink Tracy Reese dress (stylish and symbolic, of course), our FLOTUS verbally kickboxed Mitt Romney in the junk. There were those lines, “Being president doesn’t change who you are – it reveals who you are,” and “Success isn’t about how much money you make, it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” The libruls drooled, Michelle Malkin’s brain exploded a little, and the Twitter was bananas! “First Lady Michelle Obama garnered nearly double the tweets-per-minute during her speech than GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney.” And we all know that this is very important for November, when we all use our Twitter machines to vote. Twitter voting reduces fraud!
Did you know there is a thing called a “Twindex?” Michelle Obama’s Twindex is out of control, whatever that means!
Michelle’s Twindex, a measure of favorability on Twitter, rose from 71 before her speech to 84 after. Romney’s wife Ann’s Twindex increased more dramatically after her own speech in Tampa, from 45 to 83.
The first lady didn’t just beat Romney; she beat her husband’s 2012 State of the Union address, which peaked at 14,131 TPM.
Who especially liked talking about Michelle Obama on Twitter? Why, THE WOMEN, of course! The women were all curling their hair and eating birth control and sobbing about Michelle Obama.
“She was stunningly powerful, straight from the heart,” tweeted actress Ashley Judd, who is a Tennessee delegate to the convention. Judd said Obama was “breathtaking” and that the first lady’s remarks left her “rather speechless.”
Democratic strategist Donna Brazile, who ran Al Gore’s presidential campaign in 2000, posted on Twitter that she thought Obama delivered an “inspirational” speech.
She also noted the reaction inside the Time Warner Cable Arena. “Love is in the air,” Brazile said.
So as they say on the Twitter, #winning #freedom #buthershoeswere”rhubarb”coloredwhichiscodefornomorefrenchfries
[Politico / USA Today]
{ 183 comments }
She should arm wrestle all 407 Romneys at once. She would still win. And look stunning doing it.
I think there's more than 407 – those randy Mormons did a lot of begatting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romney_family
She could do it one-handed and still fap the President
I want to have her baby!
He really isn't good enough for her.
And Romney is president of the twats.
Michelle Obama was so good last night that the GOP smear machine really doesn't have any fuel this morning.
not so fast there, Slim
http://weaselzippers.us/2012/09/05/mooch-says-bar…
They're scraping bottom. The GOP talking heads didn't get their one thing from the speech to hammer on.
I'm sure Limbdouche will be calling her "fat" any second now.
Be fair to Rushbo – she does weigh more than, say, a ten year old Dominican boy.
Ha, ha, ha!
Eat shit, losers!
(Shouldn't have read the comments.)
Um, what the fuck does referring to our beautiful first lady as "Mooch" supposed to mean? Oh and I read the first few comments; ugh these are truly awful people.
Emotionally stunted, I think is the term you're looking for. Probably beaten as children and do the same to their own, assuming they found an emotionally stunted female to inseminate.
Emotionally stunted may be accurate, but it's very far from comprehensive. Oh, and by the way, they don't call it "beating", they call it "daring to discipline", because they have psychological disorders.
All Fox News could do was acknowledge that it was a powerful speech, and quickly sign off for the evening. I predict their demise within about a decade. Or less.
If Rupert Murdoch and his son end up in jail, Fox News will be changing sooner than that.
I've thought about this before, since obviously, a big chunk of their viewership is old and infirm (physically, mentally, both; take your pick.) and Murdoch himself probably wont live another 10 years. I guess it all depends on his heirs and how they see best to butter their bread.
Could FOX be more profitable if it wasn't such a niche product? Or is carving out that particular corner of the market its best play? Be interesting to see how it changes, once Rupert is six feet under and it's no longer his pet project.
More fundamentally, I think their game is over, because they lost. The Great Bagger Bubble of 2010 has burst, never again to regain traction, and it's just not going to be any fun anymore for persons of that ilk. They're done.
I agree. I think once this election is over, no matter how well Mitt places second, there will be wholesale changes at FOX. Right now, they need the more strident voices to whip up a froth in the Teabaggers, but barring a major political shift in their direction, which I don't see happening, Baggers will be unwelcome at FOX starting next year.
The Teabagger movement has lost momentum, at the very least, and probably is going to give back some of the angry ground they took in 2010. This means Cantor, Bachmann, et al lose an awful lot of influence, so FOX will probably moderate their tone
And become boring, and fade away.
I switched to fox as well to see what they could piss and moan about. I also niticed how quickly they went off air. As far as the baggers being done…..from your lips to Gods ear
They vamoosed in a hurry, didn't they? All night long, they did their best not to discuss the content of any of the speeches, but just relied on their old "tax and spend liberals" talking points. Completely irrelevant to the actual goings-on of the evening. I was starting to feel sorry for the poor dears, they had no game at all last night.
Love is in the air? I guess, it was a lot of that, but come on ladies! How bout "them's fightin' words"? I mean, yes, it was lovely and inspirational, because Michelle is both, but mostly it re-examined the dickbag notions and hateful bait and switch screw up this country policies that are Mitt Romney and his ilk and blasted them as such. And yes I cried. I am a girl. Shut up.
I thought she made a powerful argument for us to stop sitting around on our arses, & go do something to improve our communities.
I have no doubt tens of millions watched…and cried also.
Sorry for the OT Michelle but WTF is this?
http://tvp2012.org/
A very, very small third party candidacy. That's allowed, I think.
Write-in, apparently.
The Lost Star Trek Episode?
Is…is that a pyramid scheme?
Out of the ballpark. She's amazing.
How many times does Malkin's head asplode, anyway? Shouldn't she be running a pawn shop in NYC by now?
Subic Bay House of Ill Repute.
There's room to move as a three-holer.
Is that a bowling ball or an outhouse?
No. Try again. Heh.
Anchor baby Michelle Maglalang Malkin needs to have her head and her ass asploded regularly.
"Twindex"? "Peaked at 14,131 TPM"? Can someone translate this into English?
Tweets per minute
Many zillions of people love Michelle and wrote about it on the twitter.
I think it means that our once proud news figures are too lazy or fat to get off their asses and do some real journalism so they just report what they see on the Internet.
I *think* it's twin bottles of Windex shot their blue load at 14,131 talking point memos. Obviously Windex is racist against the Castro twin brothers.
No.
I use Twindex on my iPhone screen to make it sparkly clean
I can't use twindex since that campaign with mary kate and ashley…
Well, you wouldn’t have to, if you could ever stop viewing porn on your iPhone.
There's porn apps?
I usually just use my iPad to browse the We–
Um, I mean, porn? What's that?
i can't believe this is the 1st time youre proud of twitter
While Mrs. O would look great in a dress made from a burlap sack, she just killed in the metallic Tracy Reese.
It certainly was nicer than Ann's dress from Costco…
Ann's dress was Oscar De La Renta. Turns out, who wears can make a difference.
Also too, why does Ann hate her country so much she won't wear an American designer?
I loved the fabric. The pink and gold are expected together, but the pale blue on the skirt was wow.
And her nail polish maaaatched that blue!! Oh my gosh it was so great. Oh MAN I don't think I have gotten to talk about fabric and nail polish and be so happy. She was BEAUTIFUL!
I loved her hair too. That subtle flip on her right side was like the Prez brushing off his shoulder. And, believe it or not, I'm not being snarky.
…and not just arm candy. Our girl brings it on all fronts. Smart, accomplished, highly skilled, great family, and does all that while looking great.
That is EXACTLY what I mean about talking about nail polish and fabric and it makes me happy. It is all about how cool the lady adorned with such is that makes it even better. She is brilliant and beautiful, I respect her immensely, she gets her points across amazingly and her NAIL POLISH MATCHED HER DRESS. Just, icing.
And she rocked the purplish-gray fingernails. So pretty and fresh!
Obama''s real tweet
But Romney's a twit
The Republican bunch
Is just full of shit.
Burma Shave
If you want truth
Just ask Michelle
If you want lyin'
Ryan's swell
Burma Shave
Yeah, but 57 states.
I'm confused I thought that was Communists, Feminists, Nazi-Muslins or Liebruls in the State Department.
57 States and there's still nothing on worth watching.
I see teleprompterz!1!
Which have never been used by any President before, certainly not every single one since the teleprompter's invention, and the assumption that Obama can't give a good speech without one even though he has many times is in to way racist.
Yes, only Obama uses a prompter.
There is also the fapindex. Which was very high during the speech.
Locally, it was off the charts.
yes, so all the ladies was crying and all the mens was fapping, or vice versa! Ha! Take that haters.
Not long into the speech, I was thinking something along the lines of "oh, there won't be a dry pair of knickers on a Wonketteer tonight".
Well, it's a good thing mine disappeared by then…
Now that is what a first lady should look like.
I wish I could give this more upfists.
yes, if every FLOTUS was a superhero who could speak poetry and kick down doors and use the word love and have everyone believe them and had massive sexy shoulders and a forgiving heart. Yeah, that's what they look like.
Did not watch. Why? Could not love/admire/respect her more.
Just for the sheer pleasure of the cascading love and logic. I'm still in afterglow mode.
Good for you but dangerous for me at my ageSent from my iPhone
From what I saw of the wonkette party pictures, I'm sure you still enjoy plenty of afterglow moments.
Great fun, great people! Sent from my iPhone
Yah. You probably would have been sobbing like a teenage girl at the end of a Twilight episode.
No doubt.Sent from my iPhone
Give it a listen and see if you couldn't. I bet you will.
Heart would burst.Sent from my iPhone
That was just the sweetest thing to say!
Sweet? Maybe. True? Absolutely!Sent from my iPhone
It was just the nicest way to say it. I was impressed. I like words, and people who know how to use them good.
Hee, hee!Sent from my iPhone
Mrs Mittens, you just got OWNED*
* not in the way you would think aka master/slave kind of owning but in the lingo of "you people" as in that intelligent woman just kicked your ass and the horse you rode in on all the way down your San Diego elevator shaft.
Mr. Mittens just got owned, too.
And in further Goode news, Virgila Goode has qualified to be on the ballot in Virginia, where he should steal 2-3% of Romney's votes. Goode, a former Democrat-then-Independent-then-Republican, has locked up the Reef flip-flop vote, and his "I'll say anything to get re-elected" should resonate with R-money voters. Poor repubs will nader their way into obscurity. Neener neener!
Virgil Goode is the guy in the Band song about driving olde Dixie down right?
"Virgil Cain is my name and I rode on the something train."
Til (so much?) calvary came and tore up the tracks again.
Stoneman's Calvary came – Not Sherman Ms. Baez.
That's cavalry, if you please. Calvary is a fictitious location in a Bronze Age morality play.
…worked the Danville train.
The Danville train. When Grant trapped Lee at Appomattox, the Confederates were attempting to get to Danville via the rail line that ran from Richmond to there to make it the provisional capital. Lee's troops evacuated Richmond by crossing the James River into the town of Manchester and got on a train not too far from where I live, burning the 14th Street Bridge behind them and possibly setting off what's called the Evacuation Fire that destroyed one third of the city that night. The stone footings of the old bridge are still standing in the middle of the river.
Interestingly enough, that fire was brought under control by the Yankees when they took control of the city. I think they extinguished it in about 24 hours? When I visit there, I like to stay in a hotel that was gutted by that fire and later rebuilt. Love RVA (most of it anyway, some of it's scary).
It was troops under Generals Custer and Chamberlain (and others) that trapped Lee. Grant and Meade went through Richmond with the main forces.
One can go nuts trying to reconcile Robbie Robertson's lyrics with historical fact but "'til Stoneman's Cavalry came and tore up the tracks again.' suggests the Battle of Chancellorsville two years before.
Danville – maybe VA.
I thought that said "beef flap vote"
You're thinking Lindzee Graham.
Ham biscuits libel!
Oh, yeah! I forgot about those!
Those are the drapes.
Yes, but when does Ron Paul get himself listed on the ballot to drain away much-needed Rmoney votes?
Ron Paul knows he won't get that sweet, sweet pork barrel money if he doesn't stand in line like a good boy.
It was no string of rich white assholes introduced by pretty Latina faux-correspondents, but it was — shit, her damn speech was six fuckin' ways to awesome in a sleeveless dress, who am I kidding? I'm getting a jackhammer and carving that motherfucking speech over the bas relief of General Lee on that mountainside in Georgia.
Julian Castro's speech seemed impossible to top until Michelle got started. Barack should be worried about how high the bar has been set. Wowser.
She is a better First Lady than we deserve.
No, she is a better First Lady than the wingnuts deserve.
Well maybe we can agree that she’s not better than you deserve.
Well, I do deserve the best, so I'll agree. (as do you)
not worthy, not worthy
Twindex is great for cleaning the fedora off your windows.
Is that what is referred to as an "asshat"?
She's hawt!
Michelle Malkin criticized the speech before she saw it? Now that's journalistic professionalism.
Anchor baby Michelle Maglalang Malkin is a twit.
It's like a A Tale of Two Conventions. We really are two countries. Upbeat, enthusiastic, positive, nurturing on one side and hateful, bitter, white, old and resentful on the other.
It's just like my extended family!
Yes and it gives me a sad.
Both conventions play to their base.
To quote Sergeant Hudson in Aliens, "Why don't we put her in charge?!?!"
Like when Ripley tells Malkin "Get away from her you bitch!"
Well, I could certainly see a Michelle Obama/Andrew Cuomo ticket….. they'd take the White House at a canter.
The dress definitely emphasized her twindex without showing too much. Bravo.
Damn, our Flotus is fine!
She needs to be careful. She'll end up in a McNaughton painting.
Ya beat me to it!
He can't draw wimmenz. Obvsly.
"Burble, warble, Simpson-Bowles!", gargled David "Applebee's salad bar" Brooks.
~
I don't know what to think of her until I see Jon McNaughton's artistic interpretation.
"Now is ze time on ze DNC vhen ve dance!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58T0NlhNweA
No, I couldn't help myself, so shut up!
I watched the whole video. Made me want to go back to the 1970s.
Is it too early to start the Draft Michelle Obama for 2016 bandwagon rolling?
Hillary's gonna be soooo pissed. But I was thinking that too.
Maybe Joe Biden would run as VP. He could be the permanent Vice-President for the Obama family.
They run commercials for pills that treat that late at night.
I think she would have come across better sporting enormous breasts.
fear not, she could feed 100 infants from her magic breasts of power!
Low fat and sugar free.
when i grow up i want to be michelle obama.
Last year you wanted to grow up to be Twilight Sparkle. So adorable.
Rhubarb is not a color. Rather, it is a poor substitute for strawberries. Let's be clear about this, now.
Anything that Garrison Keillor sings about, I will not eat. One of my rules of life.
I wouldn't buy a head of lettuce without knowing its twindex rating because I am 'hep' to what the kids today are 'laying down'.
Yeah, those kids nowadays, with their 'hula hoops' and 'fax machines'.
And their Jive Boom Boxes, also.
I dig!
While this should probably go without saying, avoid the comments on the Wall Street Journal article. Though I notice this time there's a lot of pushback on them.
It's no wonder the Republicans lost in the ratings to Honey Boo Boo.
Big Shaking in Costa Rica.
http://insidecostarica.com/2012/09/05/breaking-es…
The tsunami watch was initially meant for the Pacific and was inadvertently sent to the Caribbean by mistake by the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center.
http://stormcarib.com/reports/current/report.php?…
Why would the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center be issuing warnings in the Caribbean, anyway? Last I heard, that's more the West Coast and Alaska TWC's jurisdiction (despite the name).
Dialed the wrong number?
Ari Fleischer looked like he was going to puke afterwards. He had to say something negative, of course, but for once I don't think he enjoyed the taste of it coming out of his mouth.
He's more a swallower, true
Before I lunged for the remote this a.m. one of the bubble blondes on Fux was talking about Solyndra?! Fuckers.
well, we did box them in last night. also, this administration has had very few good scandals. what's a fox to do?
Repub thinking: Investing in Solyndra is wrong, but Bain Capital shuttering leveraged companies is good. Got it.
“Being president doesn’t change who you are – it reveals who you are,”
So we'll never find out who Romney is.
We can run third level diagnostics on his neural net.
I'm OK with that.
Yeah, from what we know already, the rest I can definitely do without.
Mitt's response: WAAAAH! I WANT MOR MONEYZ!!!!
I know it is just plain old hate but how can anyone not love this woman??????
I am wearing leopard print shoes today. What do you suppose that's code for?
Has Rupert Murdoch now purchased the BBC?
On the BBC America program last night, some obnoxious Brit was damning Michelle Obama with faint praise on the radio an hour or so later, some American commentator on the BBC World Service was actually saying that Mrs Obama's speech was designed to appeal to single mothers because that was the demographic that Mrs Romney ignored. WTFF?
Well, knock me up and call me a single mother!
I think our President is a very lucky man to be loved like that by such a woman.
Had to miss last night and came home to hear everyone raving about this. Oh, to be a fly in one of Ann Romney's Cadillacs…
Mmm… just read all the Michelle tweetporn over on HuffPo. Brought tears to my eyes again. Not good at work, especially when your boss is a Republican ;)
Starbursts.
Holy crapola…. I watched her speech, which was good. But, I think she's the first First Lady I've ever wanted to do.
Is it related to twincest, I hope?
Mr. Prez is one lucky fucker.
FLOTUS made me cry. Go, FLOTUS!!
The GOP has haughty plutocrats for a would-be First Couple. The Democrats have a couple of rock stars who are very much real people. Cuddle up to your moneez, Romneys, because you do not have the love of your party, and you never will.
Who especially liked talking about Michelle Obama on Twitter? Why, THE WOMEN, of course!
I dunno, on my Twitter it was all the guys who had the little Pepe LePew hearts in their eyes. Woke up to this from Jeopardy nut (and Mormon!) Ken Jennings: "Mrs. Obama, I brung you these here posies. (stares at shoes, twists one foot in circle on White House porch)"
This is awful news … for Cindy McCain.
The cynic in me wonders just what the hell candidates' spouses have to offer to their respective campaigns in terms of substance. The spectator in me was sky-punching like a motherfucker.
Not one single mean word in the entire speech … yet she may as well have run the GOP through a wood-chipper, feet-first. The contrast with Ann "You People Should Be Licking Our Boots" Romney was brutal. Unless the DNC plans on matching Eastwood's FAILapalooza with Matt Damon doing a Dadaist interpretive dance skit in prime-time, the Convention bump-off is gonna be a blowout.
And now suddenly all I can think of is the line in Blazing Saddles, when Slim Pickens compliments Harvey Korman on how well he speaks.
Now I'm chubbed up! Thanks a lot! All dressed up an nowhere to go ;(Sent from my iPhone
It's been improving over the years, and a lot of the old abandoned buildings near downtown have been fixed up for businesses and condos.
Yeah, I know about the "Daring" bullshit. When they get carried away, which they often do, so do their children. Been there, done that. Unleash the social workers!
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