flotus files

Twitter Elects Michelle Obama President of Speeches

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Last night, First Lady Michelle Obama gave her DNC speech, and in a pink Tracy Reese dress (stylish and symbolic, of course), our FLOTUS verbally kickboxed Mitt Romney in the junk. There were those lines, “Being president doesn’t change who you are – it reveals who you are,” and “Success isn’t about how much money you make, it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” The libruls drooled, Michelle Malkin’s brain exploded a little, and the Twitter was bananas! “First Lady Michelle Obama garnered nearly double the tweets-per-minute during her speech than GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney.” And we all know that this is very important for November, when we all use our Twitter machines to vote. Twitter voting reduces fraud!

Did you know there is a thing called a “Twindex?” Michelle Obama’s Twindex is out of control, whatever that means!

Michelle’s Twindex, a measure of favorability on Twitter, rose from 71 before her speech to 84 after. Romney’s wife Ann’s Twindex increased more dramatically after her own speech in Tampa, from 45 to 83.

The first lady didn’t just beat Romney; she beat her husband’s 2012 State of the Union address, which peaked at 14,131 TPM.

Who especially liked talking about Michelle Obama on Twitter? Why, THE WOMEN, of course! The women were all curling their hair and eating birth control and sobbing about Michelle Obama.

“She was stunningly powerful, straight from the heart,” tweeted actress Ashley Judd, who is a Tennessee delegate to the convention. Judd said Obama was “breathtaking” and that the first lady’s remarks left her “rather speechless.”

Democratic strategist Donna Brazile, who ran Al Gore’s presidential campaign in 2000, posted on Twitter that she thought Obama delivered an “inspirational” speech.

She also noted the reaction inside the Time Warner Cable Arena. “Love is in the air,” Brazile said.

So as they say on the Twitter, #winning #freedom #buthershoeswere”rhubarb”coloredwhichiscodefornomorefrenchfries
[Politico / USA Today]

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About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

View all articles by Blair Burke

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183 comments

      1. SorosBot

        Um, what the fuck does referring to our beautiful first lady as "Mooch" supposed to mean? Oh and I read the first few comments; ugh these are truly awful people.

        1. Steverino247

          Emotionally stunted, I think is the term you're looking for. Probably beaten as children and do the same to their own, assuming they found an emotionally stunted female to inseminate.

          1. sullivanst

            Emotionally stunted may be accurate, but it's very far from comprehensive. Oh, and by the way, they don't call it "beating", they call it "daring to discipline", because they have psychological disorders.

          2. Steverino247

            Yeah, I know about the "Daring" bullshit. When they get carried away, which they often do, so do their children. Been there, done that. Unleash the social workers!

  1. gullywompr

    All Fox News could do was acknowledge that it was a powerful speech, and quickly sign off for the evening. I predict their demise within about a decade. Or less.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I predict their demise within about a decade.

      I've thought about this before, since obviously, a big chunk of their viewership is old and infirm (physically, mentally, both; take your pick.) and Murdoch himself probably wont live another 10 years. I guess it all depends on his heirs and how they see best to butter their bread.

      Could FOX be more profitable if it wasn't such a niche product? Or is carving out that particular corner of the market its best play? Be interesting to see how it changes, once Rupert is six feet under and it's no longer his pet project.

      1. gullywompr

        More fundamentally, I think their game is over, because they lost. The Great Bagger Bubble of 2010 has burst, never again to regain traction, and it's just not going to be any fun anymore for persons of that ilk. They're done.

        1. actor212

          I agree. I think once this election is over, no matter how well Mitt places second, there will be wholesale changes at FOX. Right now, they need the more strident voices to whip up a froth in the Teabaggers, but barring a major political shift in their direction, which I don't see happening, Baggers will be unwelcome at FOX starting next year.

          The Teabagger movement has lost momentum, at the very least, and probably is going to give back some of the angry ground they took in 2010. This means Cantor, Bachmann, et al lose an awful lot of influence, so FOX will probably moderate their tone

        2. philpjfry

          I switched to fox as well to see what they could piss and moan about. I also niticed how quickly they went off air. As far as the baggers being done…..from your lips to Gods ear

          1. gullywompr

            They vamoosed in a hurry, didn't they? All night long, they did their best not to discuss the content of any of the speeches, but just relied on their old "tax and spend liberals" talking points. Completely irrelevant to the actual goings-on of the evening. I was starting to feel sorry for the poor dears, they had no game at all last night.

  2. FakaktaSouth

    Love is in the air? I guess, it was a lot of that, but come on ladies! How bout "them's fightin' words"? I mean, yes, it was lovely and inspirational, because Michelle is both, but mostly it re-examined the dickbag notions and hateful bait and switch screw up this country policies that are Mitt Romney and his ilk and blasted them as such. And yes I cried. I am a girl. Shut up.

    1. Arborista

      I thought she made a powerful argument for us to stop sitting around on our arses, & go do something to improve our communities.

    1. SexySmurf

      I think it means that our once proud news figures are too lazy or fat to get off their asses and do some real journalism so they just report what they see on the Internet.

    2. MissTaken

      I *think* it's twin bottles of Windex shot their blue load at 14,131 talking point memos. Obviously Windex is racist against the Castro twin brothers.

      1. sullivanst

        Ann's dress was Oscar De La Renta. Turns out, who wears can make a difference.

        Also too, why does Ann hate her country so much she won't wear an American designer?

      1. FakaktaSouth

        And her nail polish maaaatched that blue!! Oh my gosh it was so great. Oh MAN I don't think I have gotten to talk about fabric and nail polish and be so happy. She was BEAUTIFUL!

        1. Geminisunmars

          I loved her hair too. That subtle flip on her right side was like the Prez brushing off his shoulder. And, believe it or not, I'm not being snarky.

        2. Terry

          …and not just arm candy. Our girl brings it on all fronts. Smart, accomplished, highly skilled, great family, and does all that while looking great.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            That is EXACTLY what I mean about talking about nail polish and fabric and it makes me happy. It is all about how cool the lady adorned with such is that makes it even better. She is brilliant and beautiful, I respect her immensely, she gets her points across amazingly and her NAIL POLISH MATCHED HER DRESS. Just, icing.

      1. SorosBot

        Which have never been used by any President before, certainly not every single one since the teleprompter's invention, and the assumption that Obama can't give a good speech without one even though he has many times is in to way racist.

    1. sullivanst

      Not long into the speech, I was thinking something along the lines of "oh, there won't be a dry pair of knickers on a Wonketteer tonight".

    1. Dumbedup

      yes, if every FLOTUS was a superhero who could speak poetry and kick down doors and use the word love and have everyone believe them and had massive sexy shoulders and a forgiving heart. Yeah, that's what they look like.

        1. Geminisunmars

          From what I saw of the wonkette party pictures, I'm sure you still enjoy plenty of afterglow moments.

        1. prommie

          It was just the nicest way to say it. I was impressed. I like words, and people who know how to use them good.

          1. prommie

            And now suddenly all I can think of is the line in Blazing Saddles, when Slim Pickens compliments Harvey Korman on how well he speaks.

  3. ManchuCandidate

    Mrs Mittens, you just got OWNED*

    * not in the way you would think aka master/slave kind of owning but in the lingo of "you people" as in that intelligent woman just kicked your ass and the horse you rode in on all the way down your San Diego elevator shaft.

  4. EatsBabyDingos

    And in further Goode news, Virgila Goode has qualified to be on the ballot in Virginia, where he should steal 2-3% of Romney's votes. Goode, a former Democrat-then-Independent-then-Republican, has locked up the Reef flip-flop vote, and his "I'll say anything to get re-elected" should resonate with R-money voters. Poor repubs will nader their way into obscurity. Neener neener!

        1. SayItWithWookies

          The Danville train. When Grant trapped Lee at Appomattox, the Confederates were attempting to get to Danville via the rail line that ran from Richmond to there to make it the provisional capital. Lee's troops evacuated Richmond by crossing the James River into the town of Manchester and got on a train not too far from where I live, burning the 14th Street Bridge behind them and possibly setting off what's called the Evacuation Fire that destroyed one third of the city that night. The stone footings of the old bridge are still standing in the middle of the river.

          1. gullywompr

            Interestingly enough, that fire was brought under control by the Yankees when they took control of the city. I think they extinguished it in about 24 hours? When I visit there, I like to stay in a hotel that was gutted by that fire and later rebuilt. Love RVA (most of it anyway, some of it's scary).

          2. Steverino247

            It was troops under Generals Custer and Chamberlain (and others) that trapped Lee. Grant and Meade went through Richmond with the main forces.

          3. James Michael Curley

            One can go nuts trying to reconcile Robbie Robertson's lyrics with historical fact but "'til Stoneman's Cavalry came and tore up the tracks again.' suggests the Battle of Chancellorsville two years before.

      1. sullivanst

        Ron Paul knows he won't get that sweet, sweet pork barrel money if he doesn't stand in line like a good boy.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    It was no string of rich white assholes introduced by pretty Latina faux-correspondents, but it was — shit, her damn speech was six fuckin' ways to awesome in a sleeveless dress, who am I kidding? I'm getting a jackhammer and carving that motherfucking speech over the bas relief of General Lee on that mountainside in Georgia.

    1. sullivanst

      Julian Castro's speech seemed impossible to top until Michelle got started. Barack should be worried about how high the bar has been set. Wowser.

  6. freakishlywrong

    It's like a A Tale of Two Conventions. We really are two countries. Upbeat, enthusiastic, positive, nurturing on one side and hateful, bitter, white, old and resentful on the other.

    1. sewollef

      Well, I could certainly see a Michelle Obama/Andrew Cuomo ticket….. they'd take the White House at a canter.

  7. Naked_Bunny

    Michelle Obama’s Twindex is out of control

    They run commercials for pills that treat that late at night.

  8. docterry6973

    I wouldn't buy a head of lettuce without knowing its twindex rating because I am 'hep' to what the kids today are 'laying down'.

  9. Mahousu

    While this should probably go without saying, avoid the comments on the Wall Street Journal article. Though I notice this time there's a lot of pushback on them.

    1. Guppy

      Why would the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center be issuing warnings in the Caribbean, anyway? Last I heard, that's more the West Coast and Alaska TWC's jurisdiction (despite the name).

  10. Mojopo

    Ari Fleischer looked like he was going to puke afterwards. He had to say something negative, of course, but for once I don't think he enjoyed the taste of it coming out of his mouth.

  11. freakishlywrong

    Before I lunged for the remote this a.m. one of the bubble blondes on Fux was talking about Solyndra?! Fuckers.

    1. LibertyLover

      Repub thinking: Investing in Solyndra is wrong, but Bain Capital shuttering leveraged companies is good. Got it.

  12. Nostrildamus

    “Being president doesn’t change who you are – it reveals who you are,”

    So we'll never find out who Romney is.

  13. Arborista

    Has Rupert Murdoch now purchased the BBC?

    On the BBC America program last night, some obnoxious Brit was damning Michelle Obama with faint praise on the radio an hour or so later, some American commentator on the BBC World Service was actually saying that Mrs Obama's speech was designed to appeal to single mothers because that was the demographic that Mrs Romney ignored. WTFF?

  14. Callyson

    Had to miss last night and came home to hear everyone raving about this. Oh, to be a fly in one of Ann Romney's Cadillacs…

  15. sullivanst

    Mmm… just read all the Michelle tweetporn over on HuffPo. Brought tears to my eyes again. Not good at work, especially when your boss is a Republican ;)

    Starbursts.

  16. sewollef

    Holy crapola…. I watched her speech, which was good. But, I think she's the first First Lady I've ever wanted to do.

  17. mbobier

    FLOTUS made me cry. Go, FLOTUS!!

    The GOP has haughty plutocrats for a would-be First Couple. The Democrats have a couple of rock stars who are very much real people. Cuddle up to your moneez, Romneys, because you do not have the love of your party, and you never will.

  18. finette_

    Who especially liked talking about Michelle Obama on Twitter? Why, THE WOMEN, of course!

    I dunno, on my Twitter it was all the guys who had the little Pepe LePew hearts in their eyes. Woke up to this from Jeopardy nut (and Mormon!) Ken Jennings: "Mrs. Obama, I brung you these here posies. (stares at shoes, twists one foot in circle on White House porch)"

  19. lulzmonger

    This is awful news … for Cindy McCain.

    The cynic in me wonders just what the hell candidates' spouses have to offer to their respective campaigns in terms of substance. The spectator in me was sky-punching like a motherfucker.

    Not one single mean word in the entire speech … yet she may as well have run the GOP through a wood-chipper, feet-first. The contrast with Ann "You People Should Be Licking Our Boots" Romney was brutal. Unless the DNC plans on matching Eastwood's FAILapalooza with Matt Damon doing a Dadaist interpretive dance skit in prime-time, the Convention bump-off is gonna be a blowout.

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