kathleen sebelius wants you pregnant

DNC Night 1: From Abortion To Zabortion, Everything You Want And Need

chelly chelleWelcome, Wonketeers! This is night one of the Democratic National Convention, where principled leaders get together to discuss a bold future for liberali…liber…

HAHAHAHAHAHA they’re totally going to pander for independent voters and toss out red meat, but everyone there is a vegan, so it’s dyed tofu.

Naturally dyed tofu, none of that Red-5. Monster.
9:03 PM – TED STRICKLAND IS GIVING A LITERAL SHOUTOUT TO ALL OF OHIO. (Disclaimer: he is my former boss and I love him.)

9:06 PM – Someone apparently showed Ted the Urban Dictionary definition of “HAM”. And he then said, “I would like to go that.”

9:08 PM – Kathleen Sebelius is out, I wonder when she’s going to burn a crucifix, hm?

9:10 PM – “Nixoncare”? Damn, Richard Nixon is ghost-taping her dad right now.

9:11 PM – Insurance companies can no longer discriminate against women, but they probably can against men, now, certainly. #WarOnMen

9:13 PM – It would have been great if someone had explained all of this to the American public sometime between 2009 and RIGHT NOW.

9:14 PM – I know you’re bored as hell right now, but this is electric for Kathleen Sebelius.

9:16 PM – Rahm Emanuel on to “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin'”, and I hope that somethin’ is an unnecessary fight with a fast-food chain.

9:17 PM – We can rest easy – if there were easy solutions, Rahm would have found them!

9:22 PM – MC Hammer is at the DNC!!!

9:24 PM – I miss the RNC’s constant repetition of a single edited soundbite. All these different things being said are confusing and scary.

9:26 PM – Kumar’s on stage! I guess Obama let him out of Gitmo, then? CHANGE.

9:27 PM – Kal Penn makes an empty chair joke and just lost the lead in Million Dollar Baby 2: Billion Dollar Tween.

9:28 PM – Nobody better to tell me about how well Obama has done than a rich actor who left a show I really liked to go do something for Obama that I can’t really remember or define.

9:31 PM – Mark this as the first moment a Twitter hashtag was ever sardonically distributed via political convention. We are all heroes today.

9:33 PM – It is time for some token diversity as the Obamas bring out what I’m sure are hired family members.

9:37 PM – Barack Obama is talking about women eating bacon at home, which I’m entirely sure is sexist. Romney bounce?

9:39 PM – Lilly Ledbetter is onstage, and will be the only person with a Texas accent at this entire convention.

9:45 PM – If Barack Obama continues to intervene in every Supreme Court decision and naming laws after the losers, he will be President for Life!

9:49 PM – I am watching a convention where people are steadfastly supporting  marriage and government health insurance but hahaha it’s gay healthcare for everyone! Paul Ryan must feel lost.

9:52 PM – Not to bring policy into this, but Obamacare doesn’t actually cover everyone. It covers a lot of people! And a lot more than before! But not everyone.

9:57 PM – Deval Patrick pretends that the “I Have A Dream” speech was about more than Americans needing to avoid talking about or noticing race. FOR SHAME, BLACK MITT ROMNEY.

9:59 PM – Martin O’Malley kind of has a bootleg Michael Caine thing going on.

10:01 PM – Martin O’Malley should leave to Aaliyah’s “Back and Forth”. Just saying.

10:02 PM – O’Malley is so goddamn happy to be giving the message line over and over again.

10:07 PM – Tim Duncan’s mayor is on!

10:08 PM – Oh, wait, that wasn’t him, that was his…identical twin? Democrats couldn’t even find different-looking Hispanics for prime time???

10:11 PM – There should be a third Castro sibling, an evil anarchist Castro sibling. Also Julian > Joaquin.

10:12 PM – There’s so much aspiration and wishing at this thing. This convention needs more looming evil on the horizon.

10:14 PM – “We know you can’t be pro-business unless you’re pro-education.” A number of Southeast Asian factories would like to have a word with you.

10:18 PM – Castro pulled the funniest joke any Castro has pulled since Fidel convinced us he was still alive.

10:24 PM – This Julian Castro fellow will be on many of your television talky shows in the near future, I predict. Or his brother when he’s got the runs.

10:26 PM – So, an unknown guy comes out and gives a really quite great speech about his mother, using Spanish, supporting his nominee, and hey, what’s Chris Christie yelling at right now?

10:27 PM – EVERY PART OF ME THAT WANTS TO MAKE BABIES WANTS TO MAKE SURE THE BABIES ARE AS CUTE AS THAT LITTLE GIRL. Fuck, I’m 30 now.

10:30 PM – Michelle Obama intro video. Surprisingly devoid of her snatching donuts out of fat children’s hands.

10:33 PM – Can we vote for Michelle Obama for first lady as like a separate thing?

10:38 PM – This lady is voting for Michelle Obama just because Michelle wrote a letter back to her, but I get letters back from Sallie Mae all the time and I am not voting for her.

10:40 PM – Fact Check: some injured soldiers may not run marathons. (Submitted by Paul Ryan.)

10:42 PM – Michelle Obama talks about her daughters and how much she loves them. Fact check: she does love them.

10:43 PM – Michelle Obama talks about her and Barack being poor. Not Romney poor, where they lived in an apartment instead of a home, but like, actually poor.

10:45 PM – Michelle said, “Barack was brought up all the way across the country,” but you know she was going to say “the Kenya”. ALMOST, BIRTHERS!

10:48 PM – This speech is basically going right at everything Ann and Mitt said, but never once saying the word “Romney” or “rich-ass white folk”. Remarkable restraint.

10:51 PM – I am so bored by nobody talking about who actually built things. PICK IT UP, FITNESS LADY.

10:55 PM – Michelle Obama defends community organizing? Is there nothing she cannot do? Besides eat fried foods?

10:57 PM – I can’t believe all the class warfare that isn’t in this speech.

11:02 PM – Some might say Michelle Obama ran over, I say she made time stop.

11:04 PM – C-SPAN just did a series of shots of people trying to pretend they aren’t crying.

11:06 PM – And I’m out. I’m not going to remark on the fact that Michelle Obama gave a legitimately great speech that was a stirring embrace of American values and ideals, or that she is awesome. Must maintain cynicism. Look over there. LOOK OVER THERE NOW.

Comments

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  • DrunkIrishman

    Tammy Duckworth makes Chuck Norris look like a pussy.

    • Barbara_

      Did you see that shit from Chuck Norris, who said that if Barack Obama is reelected we will have "1,000 years of darkness."

      "1,000 years of darkness" is the shade of "Just For Men" that Chuck rubs on his beard night and day.

      • vodkamuppet

        Probably all over his balls too.

      • JustPixelz

        Chuck Norris fapping to fifty shades of darkness. (Chuck Norris fapping — ugh!)

    • Terry

      Tammy Duckworth is real. Chuck is a craptastic cultivated image.

      • Barbara_

        I loved watching Tammy. She is just incredible.

        • Bezoar

          I wish I could vote for her, but I'm in Ohio. Maybe someday?

    • Steverino247

      Chuck Norris IS a pussy.

    • miss_grundy

      Actually, Chuck Norris sounds like a pussy in that Republican movie, Expendables 2.

      • SigDeFlyinMonky

        Chuck Norris and the horse he rode in on.

  • rocktonsam

    damn, Michelle is just awesome, really awesome.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Many, many upfists for that. I love our wonderful FLOTUS.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Now, I not only want to marry FLOTUS but I want to cheat on her with her convention speech.

      • sullivanst

        You see, she's she's she's the fuckin' bomb.

        BTW, did anyone else want to find Chuck Todd last night, replay his remark that "the Democrats are jealous of the Republicans' diversity" or whatever bullshit, and then beat him about his smug face with tonight's schedule?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Odd, you read my mind just an instant ago (ring up my Intense Debate profile)

          In fairness, we completely ignored the Empty Chair demographic.

      • widestanceromance

        I would totes go straight for her.

  • C_R_Eature

    Hey, a Liveblog! Finally! Since tonight is the Wonkette Drinky thing I was afraid all the Editors were: Too drunk to Blog

    Went to a party
    I danced all night
    I drank 16 beers
    And I started up a fight

    But now I am jaded
    You're out of luck
    I'm rolling down the stairs
    Too drunk to Blog

    Too drunk to Blog
    Too drunk to Blog
    Too drunk, to Blog
    I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk
    To Blog

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Probably will never see the Dead Kennedy’s playing at the DNC which is too bad.

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, we did see one on video – but this is a crummy joke and I'm just not going to finish it.

        • Monsieur_Grumpe

          Ha! I admire your restaint.

      • LesBontemps

        The DKs are no longer available, but Jello Biafra and The Guantanamo School of Medicine should have made it a stop on their tour: http://www.facebook.com/JBGSM

    • tessiee

      …take out your fuckin' retainer, put it in your purse!

  • memzilla

    But it'll be Butterstick-grade pander (sorry).

    • Guppy

      No you're not.

  • JackObin

    I'd like to see Clint at the DNC talking to an empty chair apologizing to Bird for being a square.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Next time, he'll talk to a monkey. Oh, wait…

    • Terry

      Clint's at home trying to figure out how to prevent his RNC debacle from screwing up the box office takings for his new movie.

      • miss_grundy

        Yep, I get the feeling he may have to do a goodwill tour to get butts in the seats. Because his new movie is a lot like his old movies, in which he plays an angry old man that is still angry about something that happened in the past and it takes an entire movie for him to get over it and move on or die.

        • ChessieNefercat

          Well then, never mind. Sorry, Clint.

        • sullivanst

          A lot like his old movies, and also his newer movies, then.

    • viennawoods13

      I talk to the chairs, but they don't listen to me….

      • Arborista

        I swear at mine sometimes but only when they move into my path…

        • tessiee

          "Dropping a coffee mug on the floor, I told it to go fuck itself." — Richard Price

      • Doktor Zoom

        Your experience is corroborated by Neil Diamond.

        "I am," I said
        To no one there
        An no one heard at all
        Not even the chair

        Chairs: Bad listeners.

    • Tundra Grifter

      My favorite Charles Parker – "Romance Without Finance is a Nuisance:"
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BnFRd11sMk

      There is also an excellent version with Dizzy.

  • Biff

    Eat, sleep and jeep? The fuck?

    • StarsUponThars

      I know, I know, but they played Chaka Kahn, Prince, and Annie Lennox with Aretha Franklin, so I'm willing to overlook it.

      • miss_grundy

        The guy is working 60 hrs per week in the Chrysler plant, which would have closed if it weren't for Hopey…..

  • emmelemm

    At the risk of exposing myself as a vegetarian-American, I will say that the "natural" alternative to Red Dye #5 is that cochineal dye made from beetles that Starbucks got in trouble for. So, not vegan-approved.

    • kittensdontlie

      People…beetles are red meat too.

      • glasspusher

        Republican- the other white meat

        • LibertyLover

          Hmmm… too much gristle for my taste

          • glasspusher

            and fat…

          • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

            and deregulated rat feces.

    • not that Dewey

      And the dye is lovingly, euphemistically named "Carmine"

      • C_R_Eature

        If you're caught misusing it you may get a Miranda warning.

        • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

          If that's really Carmen Miranda playing the cello he would have a fruit bowl on his head.

    • Arborista

      Beets can dye things red…

      • finallyhappy

        I like to go with your basic spray paint for my tofu

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Dyed my counter red the time I tried to make Borscht.

    • Terry

      Beet juice, maybe?

    • HempDogbane

      http://www.suntava.com/ Natural dye from red corn, bred by a guy who lives near me.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      But then how do commie vegitarians eat?

      • emmelemm

        Communally?
        Very carefully?

        I don't know the answer!

        Also, no one has made a VAG-atarian joke yet. I am disappoint.

        • Arborista

          How many vagetarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

          • emmelemm

            Fish?

          • Arborista

            I think we have a winner, ladies and germs…

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Please, oh please, don't talk about reducing the (holy) deficit.

  • OurHoboSenator

    Where the hell was this Ted Strickland in 2010?

  • Biff

    Oh Ted Strickland, you had me until you started quoting scripture…

    • OurHoboSenator

      He's a minister. Sorry.

      • Biff

        I didn't know that! At least it was only that one time, and he didn't dwell…

    • finallyhappy

      I'm Jewish but the Sell the reindeer and outsource the elves was great!

      • rickmaci

        Why do the Republicons want to make war on Xmas?

      • tessiee

        Sell the reindeer?
        Then how will Paul Ryan shoot Rudolph and pose for a picture?

        • Weallscream

          With a bow and arrow, I suppose.

    • Arborista

      It was a good quote for liberal atheists to go quote at religious non-liberals…

    • jqheywood

      I would have gone with Matthew 19:24 myself.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I think quoting the Bible was genius. It reminds all the evangelicals that (r)Money is a Mormon – did you notice how many "God Bless America's' there were last night?

      This is payback for the past 6 years of "Obama is a Muslin." The chickens are coming home to roost.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    CNN just panned the crowd at the former Ohio Governor's speech. Hide the children, Peggy Sue, it looks like 95% Negroes there!!11!!

    • finallyhappy

      I saw Arab-American signs and a woman with a hijab too. Also Tony Shaloub

      • vodkamuppet

        PBS has been lingering on Shaloub all night and I can't figure out why. It's creepy.

        • Terry

          Famous person they could identify. Arab-American best known for being nice.

          • tessiee

            Tony Shaloub may be nice, but I had an ex who was like Monk, so I can't watch the intro to that show without wanting to punch him.

      • Arborista

        Thank you- I thought that was him, but I couldn't see his face- just that hairline…

      • ChessieNefercat

        I liked the opportunidad sign.

    • SexySmurf

      Do you think MSNBC will film the one white male in the crowd from different angles to make it look like there's more than one there?

    • Arborista

      PBS is showing the white folks too- saw a white guy wearing a pink 'Biloxi' t-shirt & he looked like a fun dude.

  • SorosBot

    It's good that the Dems are now willing to call lying Mitt Romney a liar, but if only the media would follow suit.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      You have to give the Bamz advisors and Bamz credit for not being unwilling to get their hands dirty. It's about time a Democrat learned things like framing the other candidate. I'm not that old but I do remember Bill Clinton being unwilling to trash Dole, and Gore and Kerry…the less said the better. Obama is the first Democrat willing to call Republicans what they are: lying sociopaths who don't give a shit about 99% of this country…I just hope he doesn't back down because this is a LONG time coming. Also, I love how Eastwood in a semi-lucid moment said Obama isn't nice while endorsing a guy who just makes up shit as he goes to play to the very lowest common denominator. I hope Obama hits Rombot in the face with a shovel…and we bury the fucker (with votes).

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Was it just me, or was that "Obamacare saves a young child with a heart defect" story eleventy billion times more touching than Santorum's "we didn't retroactively abort our child even though she had weird hands" story?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I thought that too, she was terribly effective. Too bad she lives in AZ with all the crazies.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Hmph. Sez the Texan.

        • Texan_Bulldog

          Ha ha…well, say what you will about Rick Perry (crazy, stupid, drunk, etc.), he doesn't hate on the brown people like Jan Brewer does.

          • Blueb4sinrise

            You hate Wrinkle-americans!!!

          • sullivanst

            No, he just sends them for lethal injection.

          • Texan_Bulldog

            We kill 'em all, SullivanSt: women, brown people, white people, black people, mentally disabled. We are equal opportunity when it comes to the death penalty.

          • sullivanst

            Well, not exactly equal, but yes, you do have a point there.

            Of course, Jan Brewer hates women too, at least if her judicial appointments are any indication.

    • C_R_Eature

      Not just you. That story got right to me and that's no easy thing these days. She gave a powerful speech that was so effective because it was so obviously from the heart.
      It was also a powerful blow at the R's "Government Bureaucrats taking over your healthcare". Like the unaccountable Insurance company Bureaucrats aren't worse.

      • Isyaignert

        Death by spreadsheet.

        • C_R_Eature

          That needs to be a bumper sticker:

          OBAMACARE: the cure for Death by Spreadsheet.

    • Guppy

      Romney administered to the dying; Obama worked to make sure they didn't die to begin with.

      "Party of life" indeed.

      • Doktor Zoom

        "When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why they are poor, they call me a communist."

        Dom Helder Camara

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Is Michelle on yet?I might actually have to watch this thing.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Ted Strickland, cooking up the steaks just as rare as you like!

    • rickmaci

      Cooking up Republipork hindquarters steaks.

    • Negropolis

      There was blood when he left that stage, tonight…and none of it was his own.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Finally, some white people in the audience!!1!

    • rickmaci

      Jill and Joe?

  • vodkamuppet

    Man PBS is fucking shit up royally tonight.

    • Arborista

      Yeah, why no audio problems when the rightwing wackos were talking?

      • vodkamuppet

        Heh, don't know, I didn't watch.

  • CthuNHu

    McKayla is impressed by Michelle's McKayla impression.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    I don't know about the polls, but my sanity is definitely getting a bump.

    • NellCote71

      Ain't that the truth. I feel like I can breathe again.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Is that a bump in your polls, or are you just happy to see me.

  • Lucidamente1

    Is it me, or is Kathleen Sebelius totally hot?

    • Limeylizzie

      MrLL likes her as well.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I hope you're referring to the temperature in the room she's in.

    • ProgressiveInga

      It's you. She always looks pinched to me. But, hey, there's a lid for every pot, right? ✌

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yeah she's a bit uh…seasoned for my taste but to each their own. She looks like maybe oh…25 years ago, how old is she? I think late 50's, early 60's? Anyway I've seen pics of Hellen Mirren in 1966 and she looked hot back then (not to mention Raquel Welch, the reason I support time machines…) so anything is possible, right? I do like me some buxom kiersten sinema…she's bi the way too…which is hot and an ex-Mormon so as anyone who grows up around Mormons knows, Mormon girls can be a lot like the legends of Catholic girls (I grew up in Utah so it's a legend to me).

      • Jus_Wonderin

        NAATM > National Association for the Advancement of Time Machines. <Reminds me to pay my dues.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Watching MSNBC…Ezra is a great writer and analyst, but he has a on-screen presence only slightly better than Tim Pawlenty.

    • Isyaignert

      Must agree. Also too, he talks too fast and in a strange cadence. Maybe it's just me.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yeah he is pretty boring…I always thought Chris Hayes is boring too. Tweety bird is funny when tanked, he gets all loud and confrontational (we need to get home and the blitzed Tangerine into a fight…) and of course Rachel is every guys nerdy lesbian dream. MSNBC needs to get like big, fat Ed Schultz to get all puffed up and yelling like when he was arguing with rat fuck fuck face Walker.

    • sudsmckenzie

      He is no good at the short stints, when you give him a full hour, filling in for Rachele, you find yourself saying Chris\Mellisa who?

      • sullivanst

        Oh, don't you go saying anything bad about MHP, you hear? You hear?

    • Negropolis

      I have a hard time stomaching his fence-straddling in writing; it comes through even more clear in audio. He's so careful in calculating how far he's gone one way or the other so he'll have a path back to the middle, that the conclusions he comes to aren't as sound and definitive as they otherwise could be.

      I've always wanted to believe that what has bothered me about him is that he's just super meticulous that it goes under or over my radar. But, the more I see of him and read of his the more I feel it's a political calcuation to stay in the Beltway media's good graces. Maybe I'm judging him to harshly, but he's too timid on too many important issues for my tastes.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    CNN has a block of 3 middling actors talkin' about the Leadbelly Act!

    • finallyhappy

      just saw a 2016 commercial on CNN- and it is a lie- I KNOW BARACK OBAMA!(well, not biblically)

    • BarackMyWorld

      Who?

    • tessiee

      "the Leadbelly Act!"

      Is that the law that requires all silly ass academic whitefolks to listen to old blues?

  • Limeylizzie

    Did I miss Ted Strickland? Am watching MSNBC.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Yes, I don't know why MSNBC is droning on up in the booth instead of being on the floor.

      • Limeylizzie

        I just can't stand CNN.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          That's where the comedy is, though!

      • vodkamuppet

        Because its all about them.

    • Lucidamente1

      C-SPAN ueber alles

    • Biff

      Much better to get the convention on c-span, and commentary here.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Yup. I learned a few years ago that C-Span, get this, actually puts the cameras on the people on stage, whereas all the news channels have teh cameras on each other, yammering about the people on stage.

  • poorgradstudent

    I'm as excited as a Pakistani villager who thinks he's just heard drones overheard.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Without the pants shitting I hope!

      • poorgradstudent

        …Hm, I'll have to check.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      hahaha silly Pakistani villager! A drone to a Muslin is a lot like a pyroclastic flow from a volcano…when you can hear it that means you have exactly one nanosecond before it kills you…the pants shitting is pretty much non-negotiable once you realize what it is, too….which makes it just like a pyroclastic flow…that sucks. Well, at least with a pyroclastic flows the survivors don't find bible quotes scrawled in the remains, so that's good right? I mean that would be totally fucked up…

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Did I mention how much the evangelism in the military pisses me off? I mean, why doesn't Obama just shitcan every single one of those right wing fucks and replace them with chaplains who aren't ya know, religious fascists…

  • Goonemeritus

    When do we get around to calling Romney a foreigner?

    • LibrarianX

      He's from Earth?

    • Veritas78

      We've already called his money foreign. Best line of the night (from Strickland):

      His money needs a passport. Then some snark about his money skiing in the Alps and surfing in the Caymans. We need more of this.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        His money needs more passports than James Bond.

    • rickmaci

      Greatgrandpa Polygamy Romotinez was a wetback.

  • MissNancyPriss

    Why are the Democrat's sets THAT much better than the Repubs?

    • SexySmurf

      Gay people?

      • Zango Crudmonger

        Fabulous people.

        • TribecaMike

          Some of my best gay friends are gay.

          • Boojum

            If I had sex with a man, could I learn to have some taste in clothes? Because, seriously, at this point….,

          • tessiee

            The Former Mr. Tessie used to say he wished they would sell adult men's clothes with tags to match them, like Grrrr-animals kids clothing.

          • shelwood46

            My ex is color blind, and I often sincerely wished that was an option for him.

        • Pragmatist2

          Fabulously gay people!

    • vodkamuppet

      Because the GOP hasn't joined the 21st century yet.

      • miss_grundy

        No, because all artsy fartsy people are Dems. And Hollywood liberals.

        • Geminisunmars

          9 out of 10 creatively intelligent people are Dems. (Actually it is 10 out of 10, but we are a tolerant group, so sometimes we let a wanna-be into our midst, who finds him/herself unable to grasp basic progressive concepts.)

          • Bezoar

            Seriously, I think you're right; the Repubs seem to have no aesthetic sensibility. They wouldn't know beauty if it bit them on the ass.

    • shelwood46

      I cannot imagine anyone getting through a BFA in Theatre, let alone an MFA, without coming out a Democrat on the other side. Government arts funding, the gays, enduring a summer theatre non-union internship (they will literally work you 19-24 hours a day for $10/week), then meeting the union techs who get decent pay and hours. Yeah, set designers are gonna skew Democrat.

  • An_Outhouse

    sibelius is boring enough for a gop convention. must be because she's a 'kansas woman'. zzzzz

  • An_Outhouse

    rahm!!!!

  • Lucidamente1

    Wait, I was fapping to Secretary Sebelius, and now they bring out Rahm. Ouch.

  • glasspusher

    Don't fuck with The Hope.

  • gullywompr

    Rahm! He was in line in front of me in a DC Starbucks not long ago. Man, those Chicago guys like their pinstripes wide.

    • emmelemm

      As opposed to their stances?

    • tessiee

      "Chicago guys like their pinstripes wide."

      At which point, they become chalk stripes:
      http://www.gentlemansgazette.com/chalk-stripe-or-

      Also, do you love that there's something called "Gentleman's Gazette"? Or does it make your monocle fall off?

      • gullywompr

        I was not aware of the Chalk Stripe – must have been what he was wearing. And thanks for the Gentlemen's Gazette line, I shall peruse it forthwith.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Many years ago I read a fascinating little book "Letters from a Selfmade Merchant to his Son." He advises his offspring to invest in a good suit. "Don't buy a suit that makes people wonder if you perform buck and wing dancing or follow the horses for a living."

      From a short distance the stripes should fade away – that's the difference between chalk and other stripes.

      • gullywompr

        That's good advice. Wish I could afford them :(

        • Tundra Grifter

          Please don't take this the wrong way. You don't have to buy it new – it's only going to be new the first time you wear it.

          I recently purchased a nice Brooks Brothers (not top of the line, but still a great suit) three-piece tweed suit for less than $25 at our local Salvation Army.

          Go to a thrift store in the wealthest neighborhood you can get to. Stores raising money for the ballet or symphony or art museum are the best.

          We went on a cruise several years ago, and I needed a tux. Bought one that fit nicely for $30 or $40 at the symphony thrift store.

          Tundra Grifter says Check. It. Out.

  • C_R_Eature

    Argh, Tweety is on MSNBC now and I've got to switch to CSPAN before I break something

    Hey! It's Rahmbo!

  • SorosBot

    Rahm is looking very tan today.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Orange too! OMG his got the Boehners!

      • Arborista

        He looks tan, but not orange on my teevee. It's an older set, though.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      is he wearing a towel?

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Did she say Obama was raised by Kenyan Women or Kansas Women?

    • finallyhappy

      KANSAS

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    If I may be provincial, Rahm just better hope the teachers don't go on strike.

    • An_Outhouse

      mr. bubble popper.

    • miss_grundy

      I receive Sun-Times email and on Saturday, the headline was that the teachers would be going on strike. Which is why Rahm is cutting his trip to Charlotte short.

      • Geminisunmars

        So he needed to hurry home to break the Union?

  • Lucidamente1

    An oldie but goodie from Newell:
    http://wonkette.com/413507/rahm-emanuel-will-real

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      and did you see how freely we all flung around the r-word?

      sigggghhhhhh.

      the days of free speech.

      • Lucidamente1

        And we all skullfucked like crazy.

        • glasspusher

          Buttsechs

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    oh mayor rahm. i wish your vocal skills matched your temper.

    • Arborista

      They told him he couldn't swear. I think that's hampering the verbal output a bit?

  • Negropolis

    Observations:

    – Wow, Rahm is stepping all over his words.

    – The Zoe story had everybody in the place in tears.

    – The "USA! USA!" chant for Duckworth is probably one of the few times I've heard it where it seemed entirely appropriate.

    – Despite Strickland not knowing how to modulate this voice, his quoting Matthew in the Gospel was really kind of on point, if only to show Republicans how this shit feels when they do it.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Zoe had me tearing up a little but in a very manly way.

      • BarackMyWorld

        Same here, dude, same here…

    • An_Outhouse

      you there?

      • Negropolis

        No, just flipping between stations on TV.

    • finallyhappy

      yeah, Tammy Duckworth's whole life story is incredible

  • finallyhappy

    PBS showed part of Jesse Jackson

  • vodkamuppet

    Needz moar swears.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Haha, the mass crowd scenes look like the place is packed, and not quite ruly, like a real people community meeting.

    • Negropolis

      Like one that might need a community organizer of sorts…

      Obama 2012

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Kumar! Stone the vote!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I can't believe the wingnuts never went after Kumar for being a brown degenerate in the Administration. I guess Nobama took the pressure off him.

  • SorosBot

    Hey didn't this guy kill himself last season?

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      True dat. I have the DVD

    • Biff

      The series finale pretty much implied that everyone else was gonna die, too.

  • Negropolis

    Partisanship aside, the convention just feels more lively and looks better produced even through television. The feeling in the center is palpable.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      And the audience looks like America not some gated community

    • vodkamuppet

      The seething resentment at the RNC bleeds right through the screen. I think liberals are just happier people.

    • NellCote71

      It has been that way forever. Demz are just congenitally cooler.

    • rickmaci

      The delegates are sober.

      • Boojum

        That's just wrong.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    here comes our actor supporter.

  • Lucidamente1

    Kumar and Barack don't close Guantanamo

  • gullywompr

    Kumar with the chair joke! Swoosh!

  • BarackMyWorld

    KUMAR!!!!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      KUTNER!

      (some of us think his best work was on House)

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Cue criticisms from the Republicans of the little girl, her mother and her family in 3, 2, 1…

    • Negropolis

      "Let her die!"

      "Bootstraps! Bootstraps!"

      "Booooo!"

      • Arborista

        Bootiestraps! Bootiestraps!

    • TribecaMike

      321 BC or AD?

    • C_R_Eature

      Michelle Malkin's taking photos through their kitchen windows as we speak.

      • OurHoboSenator

        Granite countertop libel!

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I had the same thought. Jeez that was a heart tugger.

    • JustPixelz

      They'll complain those parents are a little too pro-life. That the daughter is part of the culture of dependency what with depending on health insurance to stay alive. That they didn't pray enough at some point during the speech or their lives.

    • Doktor Zoom

      From the comments on Mediaite:

      "Never mind that thousands (millions) of people are forced to buy medical insurance and the premiums for everyone else will skyrocket in order to pay for Obamacare. No, to Tommy and other liberals, all the sunshine and rainbows that Obamacare brings are completely free and no one has to pay for it.

      "If you want to argue against it, you owe people like Zoe’s mom an answer."

      Listen up Tommy and listen good. I don't owe her squat! I provide for MY family and that's ALL I'm responsible for. "

  • ProgressiveInga

    Invisible Obama reference – Drink!

  • C_R_Eature

    Kal's a pretty good speaker, when he gets going.

    • gullywompr

      Yup.

  • Ms_Anthrope

    I'm confused. Who built this fucking thing?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Rock and roll?

  • BarackMyWorld

    HOLLYWOOD LIBRULS!!!!!

    (Clint who?)

  • Negropolis

    Okay, Kal is totally killing it.

    • finallyhappy

      not on CNN or PBS!!!!

      • Negropolis

        I'm a serial channel surfer when it comes to these conventions, so I don't miss a lot.

      • ProgressiveInga

        Go ahead, go to CSPAN. You can do it!

        • C_R_Eature

          CSPAN rawks. I get enough Talking Head blather as it is.

          • An_Outhouse

            i love david byrne.

  • TribecaMike

    Young women like pants jokes.

  • C_R_Eature

    Hey! WE DON"T NEED PANTS!

    Wonkette's way ahead of you Kal.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Speaking of taking off my pants…here's Alex Wagner on MSNBC….

      *drool*

      • NellCote71

        Yeah. She is just too purty by half.

  • MissTaken

    Pants Off Dance Off!

    • gullywompr

      Jam out with your clam out!

      No? Too much? OK, that's where we'll draw the line, right there.

      • SorosBot

        I'm-a watchin' you.

        • gullywompr

          I always feel like somebody is…

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Into roller derby as well?

    • SorosBot

      I have no pants on right now!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    well kumar made a shit load more sense than anything the republicans said.

  • Lucidamente1

    Brother and half sister of Michelle and Barack; republican heads exploding across the country.

    • TribecaMike

      They were hoping half-brother George would be there. Jesus, internet trolls are in love with that guy. Well, not him personally.They couldn't care less about him as a human being.

  • vodkamuppet

    Bammerz has a little sister? How did I not know that?

    • Negropolis

      Maya. She campaigned for him quite a bit last time around.

      • vodkamuppet

        Last time around was a LOT of vodka ago.

    • rickmaci

      Dr. Maya Kassandra Soetoro-Ng. The educational accomplishments in this family are not accidental. Clearly something that was valued and emphasized by her mother and grandparents.

  • C_R_Eature

    Barack's little sister from Hawai'i! WOOOO RUM DRINKS FOR ALL!

    And EDUCATION!

    • Negropolis

      It's crazy, I was thinking about her just the other day and saying how cool it'd be if she got a speaking spot at the convention. lol

      • C_R_Eature

        She's great and I love that she's a University Assist. Prof.

    • emmelemm

      Off topic: Love the poodle moth!

      POODLE MOTH!!

      • C_R_Eature

        Thanks! I fell hard for this thing as soon as I saw it.

        ALL HAIL POODLE MOTH!

        • bobbert

          MUSLIN MOTH LIBEL!!!

      • mayor_quimby

        Um, poodle moth? I'm afraid to google that, because of the Furry results. What does at mean?

        • C_R_Eature

          Behold, the Awesome Venezuelan Poodle Moth.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            oh… that is so many kinds of a-w-e-s-o-m-e!

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            Pretty cool in a non cephalopod sort of way.

  • SorosBot

    More non-white people; this convention definitely seems more colorful than the last one.

  • An_Outhouse

    feel free to insert 'even Ann Romney' at random. Its the new 'thats what SHE said'.

    • BarackMyWorld

      You're on.

  • glasspusher

    Twitter?

    • TribecaMike

      I barely know her.

  • Beowoof

    After this I am going to go get a gay abortion tomorrow and then have some french fries.

    • glasspusher

      Mmm…fries.

    • An_Outhouse

      flotus says 'no' to the fries

      • glasspusher

        If she catches me eating them will she spank me? It's on!

      • Guppy

        Sweet potato fries.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Michelle's brother and Barack's sister! (Maya pulls out the envelope) "And the Presidency goes to…Barack Obama!!"

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    INVISIBLE MAN IN THE CHAIR!

    Hoo Rah!

    Finally someone said it!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i hope somebody makes a birther joke.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Lilly Ledbetter! Liberal Southern Ladies are the coolest.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Oh hell yeah. Have I told you enough times today that you are the coolest?

    • mayor_quimby

      And Lilly is Southern as a MF, I can taste the sweet tea in her fridge, hon.

    • rickmaci

      Sometimes. My current fav is Cecile Richards.

    • Isyaignert

      I always thought she was an old granny-looking lady, but she's gorgeous!!

  • SorosBot

    And now Lilly Ledbetter; you'd almost suspect the Democrats care more about women's rights than the GOP does.

  • Lucidamente1

    White lady from Alabama praises Obama. More Republican heads explode.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Favorite sign so far:
    Obama Y'all!

    • Negropolis

      Man, someone has to make that into a bumper sticker.

  • Negropolis

    Now, that ain't no fake accent.

  • gullywompr

    I like this ladies night much better than the last one.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    to be fair, i'd wage a war on women if my women were like that bagger cow on cnn.

  • TribecaMike

    Finally, a Swedish-American speaker.

    • sudsmckenzie

      YES!

    • Negropolis

      She was born a McDaniel, but we can make an exception.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Democrats know how to party … for a bunch of rich folk, anyway.

  • vodkamuppet

    It's so awsome to hear someone with a thick southern accent making sense for a change. Reminds me not to be a dick.

    • SorosBot

      I still miss Molly Ivins.

      • ProgressiveInga

        And Ann Richards…..

    • Negropolis

      I'm wanting to hear that accent say of Romney "Well, bless his heart" and then my week will be complete.

  • Lucidamente1

    Lilly Ledbetter just stuck the knife into Mitt. More fapping in casa Lucidamente.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Why don't we have Democratic Conventions in "off-year" elections to harness this kind of energy and drive Congressional majorities? Get the President out there and treat it like it's as important as Presidential years.

    • rickmaci

      I agree. The entire nature of the job, and the so called bully pulpit, has changed. I think the Pres. need to be out on the stump campaigning for his agenda nearly as much as during the electoral campaign.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    huh. i heard barack obama hasn't done anything.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Deval Patrick! Another Chicago colored and Taxachusetts Governor! Talkin' trash about the Romney record! "You wouldn't believe the shit I had to clean up after that empty suit!!"

    • rickmaci

      But they are very expensive suits.

  • DrunkIrishman

    I want to hump Lilly Ledbetter's drawl.

  • SorosBot

    Ha Deval Patrick ripping apart Romney's record as governor is awesome.

    • vodkamuppet

      He is fucking OWNING this shit. I'm getting a boner.

      • SorosBot

        He's on fire; I haven't really heard Patrick speak before, but he is awesome.

    • MissTaken

      Answer your skype!

  • Guppy

    Sitting governor of Massachusetts mentions that his state is ahead in healthcare coverage, and neglects to say why.

    I'm torn.

    • Veritas78

      Yup, he pulled that punch, but for a reason, I heard. (Two nights left.)

  • DrunkIrishman

    LOOK, GUYS! OBAMA IS ON…oh wait, that's Deval Patrick.

    • finallyhappy

      an old white lady told me she liked Barack Obama – pointing at our lt. gov. Anthony Brown

      • DrunkIrishman

        Bless her heart.

    • mayor_quimby

      It's cool, simple mistake

      • Negropolis

        I mean, all black politicians look alike, right? Obama's only like half-a-foot taller. lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Jesse, remember that this is tv for the blind. Please use more nouns and action verbs.

  • Negropolis

    Bill Murray!

  • Badonkadonkette

    You know what would be fucking brilliant? I mean, what would be a pitch-perfect satire of Eastwood lecturing Invisobama, AND galvanize Democrats and prove to independents and undecideds that mittens is a flip-flopping spineless weasel? A video debate between Mittens and Mittens, moderated by, I dunno, a hologram of William F. Buckley. Just running video of Mittens on both sides of every issue. It would be brilliant. It would be the greatest moment in convention history. And so, I have no expectations that the Democrats will do it. :(

    • SorosBot

      It was awesome when The Daily Show did that with W.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights
    • rickmaci

      Great line that only had a moment tonight was Ted Kennedy's description of Mitt the Flipper. We don't know if he is pro choice, he's multiple choice, or something to that effect.

  • not that Dewey
    • C_R_Eature

      We had to make room for the Great Old Ones.

      If they're upset now, wait until Wednesday's human sacrifice.

    • CthuNHu

      God: Breitbart Booted from Earthly Existence

    • Barrelhse

      Of course they booted him. He was standing there yelling at an empty cross.

      • not that Dewey

        HA!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Gay marriage and the Cayman Islands are clearly the most popular topics at this convention, applause-meter wise! If they were offering gay weddings on the Cayman Islands, pandemonium would break out!!

  • SorosBot

    And yay that the Democratic Party seems to have finally realized that they can campaign on legalizing same-sex marriage instead of running from it.

    • Isyaignert

      If they'd only run on supporting cannabis legalization, they'd have a home run. People who never voted before would vote for someone who supported that. 'kna!!

    • Negropolis

      Funny what leadership from a president will do on a timely, righteous issue, innit?

  • ProgressiveInga

    If I weren't already gay, I'd totally turn gay after watching all of this gay-lovin'!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    What is the backdrop– is that amber waves of grain, or is it some hippie prairie restoration?

  • Negropolis

    Shit just got real thanks to Duval. Yep, he's still running for president.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    you KNOW deval was thinking 'grow a pair'.

  • MissTaken

    Fuck yeah, Deval!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Needz moar smug white bastards!

    (not really)

  • ProgressiveInga

    Deval es en fuego!

  • Lucidamente1

    Time for Democrats to grow a spine? You mean they don't have one?

  • Crank_Tango

    I believe Kal lost the role in Slumdog Million Dollar Baby, amirite?

  • Negropolis

    **MSNBC cuts to gay black dude in the audience**

    **Another Sikh spotting**

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Somewhere there is an intern madly photographing and making a searchable catalog of every "type" in the audience.

      • Negropolis

        All they need is a Asian lesbian latina, and they will have won the night.

        • CthuNHu

          That's what she said…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      They have some man in a garish red, white, and blue outfit they keep panning on every time someone mentions teh ghey. In fact, he is just dressed like half the people at the GOP convention. Only he's thinner.

  • MissTaken

    Dems are so much more attractive than last week's GOP delegates.

    • SorosBot

      Some of them are even under 60.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Patrick fired up and ready to go!

    • mayor_quimby

      Deval is setting this bitch on fire. He reminds me of Larry Wilmott on the Daily
      Show. He's the Senior Black Governor.

  • vodkamuppet

    Deval Patrick 2016 motherfuckers!!!!

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Deval/Tammy!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Oh, seriously, he was GREAT. Did he cut in on Marty O'Malley's time? East Coast Gang War!

  • FakaktaSouth

    I've seen 3 minutes of this and I understood all of the words. I'm saying already better than whatever the hell that was last week. HEY And HE SAID GEORGE W BUSH, so more balls than that other too!

    • rickmaci

      This is watchable. Bet the rating double the Repugs.

  • finallyhappy

    PBS just showed Biden chewing while an aide had a plate of something behind him

    • mayor_quimby

      Those BBQ wings are damn good in Charlotte!

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Uncle Joe likes the vinegar.

  • SorosBot

    OSAMA STILL DEAD!

    • Negropolis

      And Generla Motors is alive!

    • Come here a minute

      Along with Generalissimo Francisco Franco.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i like it when dems get stabby.

    • Guppy

      Usually they're more about self-cutting.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Not any more. There's luuurve in the Original Big Tent.

    • mayor_quimby

      Hooolian is quite stabby, but I don't mean that in a stereotypical way, just in a good politics way.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Mitt Romney's metal ass has just been short circuited.

  • C_R_Eature

    So far tonight, I've seen every speaker gleefully land at least one solid, devastating hit on the Republicans in general and Mitt Romney in particular. It's like these folks have been just itching for the chance to have their say after having been bombarded by more and more extreme right wing nonsense for almost four years.

    I like it. This week might just be fun.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    "Grow a backbone and stand up for what we believe"

    HELL YEAH

  • sudsmckenzie

    Please tell us about the time you ran into a fiery building to save Harold Fords Bearer Bonds

  • subsum

    Deval Patrick is really bringing it and he's saying the right things. My favorite was (paraphrasing): "…grow a backbone, beotchez!" Gotta love the guy.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Republicans are like, "Oh shit, we're gonna have another black president, aren't we?"

    • rickmaci

      I don't think the adjective they are using is "black".

  • Negropolis

    You know, I've heard on more than one occasion even from some Dems that Dems don't have a deep bench for 2016. I say to that bullshit and poppycock. Thank you.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I concur.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      I think Gillibrand is the one to watch. And not just for the obvious reasons. I like to watch.

    • miss_grundy

      They have Mr. Castro of San Antonio, TX. I would love for him to take over the White House in 2016 so Republican heads can explode.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    well when you put it like that deval, republican talking points sounds pretty stupid.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      That's the Chicago Way!

  • Lucidamente1

    Ok, a white guy with blow dried hair. I feel much better.

  • Guppy

    Jesse: I'd rather be talking policy than weaksauce Talibangelical "theology."

  • SorosBot

    The Maryland governor is nowhere near as good as Deval. Boring long war stories.

    • Negropolis

      I keep hearing O'Malley mentioned as a candidate for 2016, and while I'm sure he was a great mayor and is a great governor, everytime I've seen him speak I don't see him as presidential material. I mean, I've seen people absolutely rave over him.

      • Terry

        Celtic rock band. Hot in that altar boy you'd like to lead astray way. Trying to protect our resources, intrastucture, schools and colleges, despite the economic downturn. I like him.

        • Negropolis

          That's the thing; I like him, too. I don't love him like you would for someone who'd be your first pick for a presidential ticket.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Those people raving over him … that would be our girl LimeyLizzie? She loves her some O'Malley. Who says the English can't get along with the Irish?

    • Terry

      Yeah, but he's hot, has his own Celtic rock band, and has his priorities generally in the right order.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Is it just me, or are the flag pins getting bigger?

    • glasspusher

      Maybe the people are shrinking? The mikes look bigger too.

    • Isyaignert

      Thank you for the segue. I noticed some red dot diamond thing in all of the 'cons flag pins at their CONvention last week. Anyone else notice? What's that all about?

  • Arborista

    Was that Tony Shalhoub I just saw in the audience? His face was down, but it sure looked like Monk…

    • TribecaMike

      That had to be Monk. Sitting next to John Leguizamo too.

      • not that Dewey

        "I was born natural, but I was raised Caesarean."

      • ChessieNefercat

        And Alfre Woodard.

    • finallyhappy

      They keep showing him- did he have his finger on his lips- he was doing that earlier

      • Arborista

        He had his head down- looked like he was texting…

  • vodkamuppet

    What fucking planet does David Brooks live on?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      the same one as matt continetti i'd guess.

    • Arborista

      Planet Derp,

    • C_R_Eature

      Uranus?

  • TribecaMike

    David Brooks on PBS a minute ago: "American care about two things: balancing the budget and the debt." Oh brother, what art thou?

    • BarackMyWorld

      David Brooks cares more about sounding smart than being smart.

    • vodkamuppet

      I almost did a spit take. Nothing he's said tonight has even a tenuous connection with reality.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      What a tool! Americans care about putting food on their families.

      • Zango Crudmonger

        Well, I've bacon grease and bourbon on my chin, so I'm going with your statement as completely accurate.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      In his world, there are no women at home with too many children to feed, no one is in the military unless they work at the Pentagon, no one has ever carried a union card, everyone's student debt is paid by their daddy, and people still vacation in Europe.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Brooks is right about the 2 things I care about.
      I care about my fucking budget and my fucking debt and these Repubes ain't helping either..

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Last week they cared more about Honey Boo Boo.

  • finallyhappy

    MY GOVERNOR!!!! Martin!!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      "Lucky you," sobbed the grrl in Arizona.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I can't decide if the awkwardness of O'Malley's speech is the delivery or the writing.

    • MissTaken

      It's the white maleness.

    • TribecaMike

      I'm a bit disappointed that he isn't speaking in Gaelic.

      • finallyhappy

        He should be playing music with his band

    • Guppy

      Delivery. O'Malley had moar awkwardness right at the opening of the convention earlier.

  • Guppy

    O'Malley is going to keep going with this until the crowd gets their timing with the signs right!

  • DrunkIrishman

    oooh! I LOVE STAGE INTERACTION! IT MAKES ME FEEL PART OF THE SHOW! I AM SO SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM SCREAMING AT THE TV … "FORWARD, NOT BACK!"

    • Guppy

      STRAIGHT, NO ICE!

  • kittensdontlie

    White people can't jump or fire a crowd up.

    • Guppy

      JOE BIDEN LIBEL!

      Oh, wait, I forgot he was made an honorary Colored Person.

  • C_R_Eature

    Martin O'Malley Kids! It's nice to have a governor that doesn't make me cringe, for once.

    "Forward, not Back!" Now, that's a good call and response line.

    • TribecaMike

      I like him more as governor than as mayor of Baltimore.

      • C_R_Eature

        Yeah, I don't think he was really a good fit for that town. Stephanie Rawlings Blake seems to be doing OK, though considering what she had to step into .

    • finallyhappy

      It's not new- he used it here in the state for some time

    • Barrelhse

      "Give me an F,…"

  • FakaktaSouth

    I would say voucher and W as often as I could, movie-phone talking guy O'Malley.

  • vodkamuppet

    This guys a buzz kill, bring back Deval Patrick.

  • coolhandnuke

    O's blister Toronto 12-0, Yanks losing, now O'Malley hitting 'em deep…a fine day for Charm City.

    • Barrelhse

      Anyone but the Yankees. Go Baltimore!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I like what this guy is saying, but I feel like I'm about to buy a used Honda civic.

  • Doktor Zoom

    O'Malley is starting to grow on me

    • gullywompr

      Too white-guy-y for me….

    • Barrelhse

      Like a Siamese twin?

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        We should make OMalley and Dr. Zoom a 2-headed T-shirt that says "We watched this speech with the signs and and the backing and the forthing and all we got was this lousy T-shirt".

    • Negropolis

      He's growing on me, too, but mostly like moss on the side of a log.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        His delivery was pretty blah tonight. Ii've seen him really tear it up a few times, but it was always off the cuff, this is the first time I watched him give a prepared speech. Not impressed.

  • Guppy

    I think people would be more impressed with his speech if he was doing it shirtless.

  • ibwilliamsi

    OK, I went to the Casa after my meeting, and it was dark. Man, I NEVER expected you guys to stop partying that early!

  • BarackMyWorld

    O'Malley sounds a little like a TV evangelist now.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    en Espanol, por favor

    • ProgressiveInga

      Yo quiero Taco Bell!

  • IonaTrailer

    As a "legal" pot smoker, I'm totally disappointed that we aren't hearing jack shit about the "Drug War". sigh. I know, I know, we're hoping he'll get to it, but for all my brothers and sisters who are in prison for smoking the sacred weed – (or just for being mentally ill and using drugs – or not mentally ill and using drugs) – can we please stop the maddness?

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Too much for the center/undecided voters to stomach, I would guess. It's going to left for the states to hammer out for this election. I believe both OR and CA have legalization on the ballots this fall.

      • Isyaignert

        Washington, Oregon and Colorado have legalization ballots in the next election.
        Yes we cannabis!!

    • Negropolis

      I think this is a second term thing. Hell, I was surprised he didn't wait until the second term to come out in favor of same sex marriage.

  • Negropolis

    I heard a little Kennedy at the very end of O'Malley's speech. It's just too bad he had to follow Patrick.

    • Terry

      O'Malley's wife is a judge and is father-in-law is the junior Senator from the great State of Maryland, aka Ben Cardin.

  • Lucidamente1

    Twin brothers. Which one is the evil one?

    • Geminisunmars

      The one named Castro.

  • DrunkIrishman

    I KNEW THE DEMOCRATS WERE CLONING PEOPLE!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    hahahahahaa democrats get to use whatever music they want and nobody sues them!

  • Guppy

    The DNC crowd chanting "Castro!"

    What could possibly go wrong?

    • subsum

      Isn't that in San Francisco?

  • Biff

    Twins! Doesn't live up to MY fantasy, but knock yerselves out, ladies…

    • finallyhappy

      I understand twins is a big fantasy for some men and women- always seemed like horror movie time to me. But these guys seem like they would be good sons!

      • shelwood46

        The twin thing icks me out because it means you're essentially fantasizing about incest. You're not just wanting siblings to get naked and have sexy times together, you want siblings who look alike to get naked and have sexy times together. Would you want to have sex with your clone? Ew.

  • An_Outhouse

    tonight we are all texans. yuck:-)

    • Barrelhse

      Rick Perry can count to potato.

  • Negropolis

    Okay, close your eyes and listen to Castro, and you hear Obama. Weird.

    • gullywompr

      I can't get past the feeling that I'm listening to Keanu Reeves.

      • Guppy

        woah

    • mayor_quimby

      Dude is good, he's going to kick Jindal's ass in 20-something
      Twins that went to Stanford??? That's some Cosby show shit.

  • Doktor Zoom

    I liked when this guy debated Alan Alda in season 7 of The West Wing.

  • vodkamuppet

    No FLOTUS tonight? I haz teh confuse.

    • Doktor Zoom

      She's after Jimmy Smits

    • IndianaKevin

      FLOTUS is on deck.

  • IonaTrailer

    Viva la Grandma!

    • miss_grundy

      Viva Abuela!!!!!!

  • TribecaMike

    What, no phony exaggerated Texas accent a la a certain Connectitard I could name?

    • mayor_quimby

      W ho?

      • TribecaMike

        William F. Buckley, Jr.

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      HT

  • sudsmckenzie

    Tonight, in the US Bank Octagon its Marco Rubio vs Juan Castro

    • iTuna

      Julian.

      • sudsmckenzie

        does it matter?, and thanks, now I cant edit that, papers please!

  • Terry

    Grammy Castro has tears in her eyes. Very sweet. I hate menudo, but would eat it if this lady served it to me.

    • rickmaci

      Mexican grandmas. You tell her you don't like menudo and 10 minutes later she is serving you something else you do like.

  • coolhandnuke

    Winning a Menudo cookoff…I've heard Ricky Martin tastes like chicken.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Julian Castro – a real Texan from Texas, not Connecticut.

    • SorosBot

      Just because someone was born in Connecticut doesn't make him not a Texan when he lived there his entire life. Texas owns him.

      • Negropolis

        You should tell a Texan that. lol It seems to cut across ideological lines, down there, that unless you were born on its soil, you're not ever a true Texan.

        • SorosBot

          That doesn't make any sense at all.

          • BerkeleyBear

            You are talking about Texans – so yes.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Then why did they love W so much?

          • Negropolis

            They loved him like hell, but that doesn't mean they thought he was a "real" Texan. Texans have a thing about being born in Texas. Don't ask me to explain it, it's just what I've personally experienced.

            Maybe one of our Texas Wonketters can back me up on this. I thought this was a pretty well known quirk of Texans.

      • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

        "his entire life"… except when he spent every summer in the Hamptons, and went to Yale and Harvard, and spent a lot of time in the White House with his daddy (also not a real Texan).

        Bush is a fake Texan, don't ever forget that.

  • vaginista

    Si se puede!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Haw–bootstraps

    • FakaktaSouth

      I still don't know how you would pull yourself up that way without falling over on your head.

  • SorosBot

    This convention actually looks like America.

    • iTuna

      The RNC looked like the drive-through line at my local Little Caesar's.

    • Guppy

      Not Real America™!

    • C_R_Eature

      I'm just happy I don't have to wear Ray-Bans to look at this week's crowd.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this makes too much sense. texas is going to fire his ass.

    • subsum

      He's from San Antonio. Rick Perry is not allowed to go there. If he does all the messicans will kick his ass. We're stuck with him here in Austin—for now.

    • NellCote71

      Nah. San Antonio is blue and twice as cool as Austin, and not nearly self- conscious.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Or as self-important. Plus, we sent Henry B. Gonzales to Washington for 40 years.

        "González was referred to as a "communist" in 1986 by a man at Earl Abel's restaurant, a popular San Antonio eatery. The 70 year-old representative responded by punching him in the face. González was acquitted of assault for this incident."

  • IonaTrailer

    They may have boots with boot-straps in parts of Texas, but where I live, there are people on Skid Row wit' no shoes.
    Signed,
    Los Angeles

    • rickmaci

      Yah. I didn't get the strap on reference.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Castro? Fucking communist.

    • Terry

      Good speech and an adoring granny.

      • NellCote71

        That is his Mom. His grandmother is dead.

        • Terry

          Well, she's granny to that gorgeous little girl, but I stand corrected!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Man, that Deval Patrick just might win 230 electoral votes on write in! Don't worry Mittens, you'll still get Mississippi.

    ~Yeah, I'm watching DVR… But I fast forwarded through Gov. "Things Were Better Under Dumbya", so I'm almost in real-time.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Sorry dude, no. Mitt's not a good guy. He doesn't CARE how bad OTHERS have it. That's different.

    • rickmaci

      It's OK. Say he is a good guy and then kick him in the nutz again.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    C'mon, Texas, bring up a quote from your roots (i.e. the late great Ann Richards)– "He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth"

    • Negropolis

      I like the PG-13 version: "He can't help it; he was born with a silver stick up his ass."

    • Terry

      I miss Ann. Molly Ivins, too.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Suck it mucho grande Rmoney/Ryan!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You mean mucho rico. Nothing grande about them (except for Christie).

  • gullywompr

    This guy knows how to give a speech.

  • Guppy

    OK, this is the evil twin. He's fucking with the crowd now.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    'fiction'.

    i like 'lie' better.

  • Doktor Zoom

    OH, MY!!!! That "actually…." was one HELL of a pivot!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    damn he's good.

  • BarackMyWorld

    "Romney said…actually…yes."

    That was moment of the night.

    • Negropolis

      It was amazing. And the way he held his smile and let the crowd catch up was brilliant optics.

    • mayor_quimby

      That was some knife in the gut theatrics there, very very good. And the crowd was even on script yelling 'Romney said no'

  • Terry

    OMG, is that Castro's daughter? She's a cutie.

    • finallyhappy

      Castro married Erica Lira Castro in 2007. They have one daughter, Carina Victoria Castro, born March 14, 2009

  • TribecaMike

    "Whenever I run into prejudice, I smile and feel sorry for them, and I say to myself, There's one more argument for birth control." — Freddy Fender, born Baldemar Garza Huerta in Texas

  • vodkamuppet

    He said Detroit, drink!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Texas has education?

  • An_Outhouse

    new bumper sticker- GoT IT DONE!!

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    CASTROOBAMA!!!!!!

    • glamourdammerung

      I loved that serial.

      Oh, you were not talking about "Doctor Who" were you?

      • TribecaMike

        Was that during the Sarah Jane Smith years?

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          5th Doctor I believe.

  • gullywompr

    I wish this guy would stop sugar-coating it….

  • DrunkIrishman

    Let's find a Kennedy and run him with Castro in 2016.

    • Veritas78

      We saw the handsome young redhead earlier tonight…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      No Castros until they turn Tejas blue. Then, the sky's the limit.

      • NellCote71

        Hell, yes.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          We're on the same page tonight, sister.

      • sullivanst

        When Tejas turns blue, we can tell Florida to go fuck itself. That will be awesome.

    • NellCote71

      Joe III has my vote. Kennedy genes are amazing.

    • vodkamuppet

      Oh god that would be awsome.

  • Guppy

    Contrast this with the "me me me! *cough*voteforMitt*cough*" of the speeches last Tuesday

  • ProgressiveInga

    "The American dream isn't a sprint or a marathon. It's a relay" OK, I'm cryin'.

    • NellCote71

      I want that bumper sticker. And screw you Mr. Under Two Ryan. Asshat.

      • rickmaci

        It was under three and he is still an asshat. It would be a great bumper sticker. Every runner I know would want one.

  • BoroPrimorac

    I hope he ends his speech by telling Marco Rubio to eat shit.

    "Comete un mojon, Marco Rubio" (drops mic and walks away)

  • vodkamuppet

    Relay. That is a great line.

  • IonaTrailer

    For some it is "FOUR MORE YEARS" and for others it is "FEEL MY QUEERS!"
    xoxoxoxxoxo

    (in a good way, not a Republican way.)

  • Lucidamente1

    He could do the empty chair routine, but sitting down in it to play his twin. Ok, not funny, but still better than Eastwood.

  • Doktor Zoom

    This is one hell of a closing.

  • FakaktaSouth

    He just did the newscaster sudden Spanish accent thing! YAY!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I call it "The NPR Slide".

      • Negropolis

        ROTFLMAO! I'e got to remember that.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Like they're from May-he-co?

  • gullywompr

    How about those optics, ladies & gents?

  • Negropolis

    Wait, a few moments ago, did we get a cross contaminated chant of "Four More Years" and "O-Ba-Ma"?

  • subsum

    "The American dream is not a sprint; nor a marathon; but a relay." So over-fucking-whelmingly true it's a slap in the face of people like Mitt Romney. This dude is living proof and I dare Sarah Palin, Michelle Malkin and Rush Limbaugh to question it.

  • FakaktaSouth

    MICHEEEEEELLLLLLEEEE! oh I love you. Cheers!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Little girl sees herself on TV, does the "I'm pretty" move.

    KAWAIIIIII!!!!!!!

    • gullywompr

      Awesome visual.

  • Guppy

    "I spell it with two L's, motherfuckers!"

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Bohner is opening up an extra Puffs with lotion tonight.

    • Guppy

      So am I, but for different reasons.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Where are the lies and distortions that the Washington Post said are part of every convention? Whatever will the Both Sides Do It mega force do?

    • CthuNHu

      Claim: With enough hard work, you can raise your own Barack-Oli.

      Fact: There is not any such vegetable as Barack-Oli.

      Conclusion: Michelle Obama's lie robs Democrats of the moral high ground and prevents them from taking issue with Paul Ryan's statements.

    • glamourdammerung

      Whatever will the Both Sides Do It mega force do?

      Lie.

    • Veritas78

      What, give a from-the-heart, passionate, true paean to a man worth both loving and electing? No, both sides do not do that.

  • Lucidamente1

    Must not think impure thoughts about FLOTUS, must not think impure thoughts about FLOTUS . . . Oh, fuck it.

  • An_Outhouse

    flotus next? glad i have a tablet. brb.

  • C_R_Eature

    You know, I've always thought that Michelle looked exactly like a First lady.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      You must not be an old racist trailer-trash Republican delegate, then.

      • C_R_Eature

        Did the spelling give me away?

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          And lack of WingNutz font (!!!!!!!!!1!!)

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I've always thought the whole family looks like that family in all the car ads. Absolutely quintessentially American.

    • Negropolis

      THIS. Comment of the night.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Castro's mom keeps givin' him the stinkeye.

  • Guppy

    "99%!" Drink!

  • RadioBowels

    Julián Castro '16

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I would like to see Michelle kick Ann Romneys ass.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I think you're about to.

      • Veritas78

        …aaaaaand, you just did.

    • Negropolis

      Forget Ann, I want her to go straight to the top and arm wrestle Mitt Romney for the presidency.

    • Steverino247

      Nah, that would be like beating toddlers at checkers.

    • gullywompr

      So would Michael Steele.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      With votes!

    • C_R_Eature

      I'd like to see Michelle drop-kick Paul Ryan in the Nads.

      • miss_grundy

        Si se puede!!!!!!!!!!

  • Lucidamente1

    Republicans everywhere throwing peanuts at the tv screen

  • EdFlintstone

    I kid you not, Fox News has shampoo man Paul Mitchell offering his insights during the Michelle video.

    • TribecaMike

      Assholes.

    • C_R_Eature

      You forgot the quotation marks around "News".

    • NellCote71

      I thought he died? Srsly.

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Rode a ski lift with him years ago. Once a dick, always a dick.

      • EdFlintstone

        It was John Paul DeJoria who is co-founder.

    • subsum

      Fuck Fox.

    • LibrarianX

      Hey! They need some time to edit….

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    RNC just pulled the plug on PBS. Or at least my signal.

  • Terry

    Man, this lady has the whole military service set!

  • Guppy

    "What am I (a walking political prop) doing in a place like this (a political convention)?"

  • Guppy

    Wait… Doctor Biden?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yeah, but she's the SMART biden. the other one is, you know, dumb.

    • finallyhappy

      Jill

      • Guppy

        Bah. Serves me right for trying to comment too much to pay attention.

    • Negropolis

      Jill was a professor at a local college, I think.

      • BarackMyWorld

        Yes, and after teaching high school for years, including children diagnosed as emotional disturbed, before earning a Ph.D.

      • Terry

        When she moved to DC when he became VP, she took a teaching position (English, I think) at the Northern Virginia Community College. Before that, she taught in Delaware.

      • Barbara_

        Negropolis, Jill was a professor who taught my daughter, Christine and helped to shape the woman she became, as I am certain you already know.. I loved me some Jill before handsome Joe was VEEP.

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          that's so cool.

  • Lucidamente1

    Lady has five kids in the service and speaking at the DNC. Still more republican heads explode.

    • Negropolis

      Isn't it crazy that in literally four years we've totally flipped this issue on the Republicans?

      • Veritas78

        Well, we actually do care about the troops that the Republicans hurl into unnecessary wars.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        I kept waiting for her to ask what Mitt's five sons were doing.

    • gullywompr

      Never play pan-dimensional chess with the DNC.

      • glasspusher

        Deep Thought.

    • coolhandnuke

      And Mitt has five service-free boys berating their indentured servants.

      • CthuNHu

        Hey now, don't rag on those fine young men. They'll all enlist in the Marines posthumously.

      • Terry

        ..and Mitt was a conscientious objector so that he could ride a bike around France and annoy people.

  • iTuna

    MECHA-MOM, QUEEN OF ALL MATRONS

  • Lucidamente1

    Next, hologram Eleanor Roosevelt saying "Ann Romney, eat me."

  • Terry

    Jaysus, I love Michelle's dress.

    • MissTaken

      Seriously. The woman can dress.

    • NellCote71

      Awesomeness.

    • SorosBot

      She should be wearing a bland generic red dress, as should every other woman who speaks at the convention!

  • BoroPrimorac

    I can't imagine what nasty stuff the Teabaggers will say about the military mom.

  • C_R_Eature

    Wow, what an entrance!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Huh, I wonder if the Repubs are having second thoughts about not mentioning the troops much last week?

    Nah, never mind, their base sincerely believes she hates the flag.

    • C_R_Eature

      You're assuming that they had first ones.

    • glasspusher

      Their base can go fuck themselves. We're here for those grounded in reality.

  • ProgressiveInga

    I'd hit it

    With VOTES, people!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      WIIIIIITH VOOOOOTES GAWDDAMMIT!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh fuck, Stevie Wonder? the REAL one's voice and not some weird cover version of him? And Lovely Lovely Michelle? Oh I may die.

    • miss_grundy

      C'mon now, the Dems know their music…..

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    gorgeous!

    • Chichikovovich

      You American women are very attractive.

  • TribecaMike

    Mamacita, que buena estas!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Why do I find it hard to believe someone telling me they are not political while they are giving an introduction at a fucking national political convention?

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Someone forgot his KoolAid. Jokes, it's jell-o shots around here.

  • Guppy

    And now we all hold our breaths to see if Michelle can trump Ann's sapphic, polyamorous confession.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      ARRGH LUVS U WIMMUNZ!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Oooooh. Michelle just told the room to STFU!

  • FakaktaSouth

    She just kicked Mitt's no troops speech in the ass, sentence one. Nice.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    FOX NEWS ALERT!!! OBAMA HAIR DISASTER!!!

    • gullywompr

      That's going to be the latest style tomorrow.

    • TxSpinyLizrd

      Meh. She still looks more fabulous than 99% of the rest of us.

    • kittensdontlie

      That is very distracting. Everyone was probably afraid to say anything, lest her big brother might kick their ass.

      • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

        The hair stylist is in an unmarked plane right now.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    'your family's service and sacrifice'.

    something we can't take for granted with chicken hawks.

  • Lucidamente1

    Jesus Christ on a three-day bender, this is the hottest convention speaker in the history of the universe.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    "I think you're the perfect wife for Obama.", says little kid with braces. Melts your heart and makes you laugh at the same time. But if some dumb Republican kid had said it I'da just shot my teevee, Elvis style.

  • C_R_Eature

    And they did.

  • ibwilliamsi

    I want the First Lady's dress.

    • Terry

      I wonder if ther is a version appropriate for women who don't have the awesome arms of FLOTUS

    • ChernobylSoup

      …On the floor of my room.

    • predilectrix

      Oh, I thought you wrote I want to be the First Lady's dress, which seems to be a popular sentiment this evening.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Trying not to think impure thoughts about our FLOTUS, but damn those shoulders!

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Easy girl.

  • IonaTrailer

    MY girl is red-hot,
    Your girl ain't doodle-squat!

  • Doktor Zoom

    "Like any mother, I thought about our girls"

    Typical of the narcissistic selfish focus of those people.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    where are these kind caring non judgemental americans michelle obama is seeing?

  • Lucidamente1

    "Date night for Barack and me was dinner and a movie. And fucking, lots of fucking."

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    I broke out in applause for Michelle.

    Which is little embarrassing, home alone and clapping.

  • LePiston

    Michelle has charisma and empathy. Ann has money.

    • Guppy

      Don't forget Poland Rafalca!

      • LePiston

        Rafalca > Ann

        One is beautiful, one has skrill

  • IonaTrailer

    HAWAII! REPRESENTING!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Shoes a half-size too small, eh? You know what they say about guys with big feet….

    • C_R_Eature

      Big toes?

    • IonaTrailer

      They have big shoes?

    • MissTaken

      Big socks?

    • SorosBot

      Well as a man with very big feet, let me tell you it's true.

    • Arborista

      It's harder to put your foot in your mouth?

    • sullivanst

      Lots of silver?

  • subsum

    Coffe table picked up from a dumpster? It better be true or she's gonna hear about it from the asswipes from Fox & Friends tomorrow. Facts only matter when pointing them out works to their advantage.

  • RadioBowels

    I love this lady.

  • TribecaMike

    Over at Fox, Charles Krauthammer is muttering, "Why is she wear a bathing suit? And what is this feeling I've never felt before?"

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      "Mein Führer! I can walk!"

  • EdFlintstone

    Scott Baio must be killing himself right now.

    • gullywompr

      in sh'Allah.

    • Negropolis

      If only we were so lucky. With votes.

    • TribecaMike

      Hopefully, he'll stop by Kirk Cameron's house first.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    How dare that Negress talk about her father's MS?! She's trying to make Ann look bad1!1!!

    • Veritas78

      That was pretty uppity! It's like when you upend the napkin by your place at table, and then someone else sits there.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Why didn't she just sell some stock?

    • TribecaMike

      Why didn't she just buy her father a horse?

    • ProgressiveInga

      Or ask her parents for $20 Large?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    does michelle have a secret portrait in the white house attic or is bamz aging FOR her?

  • IonaTrailer

    FUCK YOU MITT ROMNEY

    • RadioBowels

      FUCK YOU ANN ROMNEY

      • IonaTrailer

        AND, the horse you rode into town on.

        • glasspusher

          The horse would be the most satisfying of the three

        • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

          Horse rides on the roof.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Ann Romney who?

  • Terry

    That's what it means to be a man, taking care of his family. Damn straight, Michelle!

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Joe Walsh Libel!

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Somebody send this video to Congressweasel Joe Fucking Walsh (R-Douchebag).

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Where's the chair? I don't get it.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Even the chair's invisible now. Forward.

  • gullywompr

    "Truth matters" zing.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Truth has a liberal bias.

  • not that Dewey

    MIchelle: "the sex doesn't count unless you earn it fair and square" — did I mishear that?

    • Guppy

      Up there with Condi's impossible semen.

    • MissTaken

      *success*

      and sex.

      • gullywompr

        Successful sex is successful.

        • glasspusher

          Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free? -Jay

    • C_R_Eature

      No, she said:"Ah, get born, keep warm, short pants, romance, learn to dance
      Get dressed, get blessed, try to be a suck-sess"

  • Terry

    I love her to bits.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I read that too fast.

      • NellCote71

        Bad boy.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    yeah, but i bet michelle doesn't have a dancing horse now does she?

    • NellCote71

      She as the cutest dog second only to mine. Alas, I bet she doesn't get a $77,000 tax deduction for Bo either.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Michelle's remarks about honesty and "how much money you make" will be taken as subtle swipes at Romney…because they probably are.

    • Geminisunmars

      Subtle?

  • Doktor Zoom

    "The truth matters"? Rather outmoded thinking. Fact-checkers don't run things, after all.

  • SorosBot

    Work hard? But these were just workers, not JOB CREATORS! Last week I was told only the owners' work actually counts.

    • BoroPrimorac

      The republican platform: Makers vs Takers.

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Happy Belated Labor Day, Job Creators!

    • Guppy

      Last week? Hell, we got that from Twitter yesterday!

  • Lucidamente1

    Gee, is she drawing an unspoken contrast between her and potus's growing up in straitened circumstances and the romneys' wealthy douchebaggery?

    • SorosBot

      Not to mention the contrast by staying they earned their money without cheating.

      • Terry

        I loved that part. No cutting corners.

    • NellCote71

      And, gee, not getting through Harvard law on their parents' stocks. Oh, that's right. She who just LOVES us women didn't go to Harvard law. Did she even graduate?

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    The truth counts – unless you're a Republican!

  • IonaTrailer

    "Being President doesn't CHANGE who you are, it REVEALS who you are".

    XOXOXOX

    • Arborista

      That line & the line about how you can't accept help to achieve success & then slam the door behind you- those were my faves!

    • NellCote71

      Second bumper sticker after the one about a relay.

  • Barbara_

    A most awesome Tweet:
    Dave Pell ‏@davepell
    I like to think that Michelle Obama is the type of wife who would say: "Dude, the dog is riding inside the car."

    • glasspusher

      Hahahahaha

    • valgal2342

      Many many up fists!

    • NellCote71

      And sleeping ON the bed.

      • Steverino247

        That's where my bitches sleep.

        (And yes, I'm talking about female dogs)

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Muslin! I just saw a muslin, y'all!

    • TribecaMike

      Muslins are part of the fabric of this country.

    • finallyhappy

      I just saw orthodox Jews- I saw the Muslins much earlier

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        I saw one of them Sikhs, y'all.

        Whose got the Big Tent?

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      You should email Peggyton.

      • Arborista

        But not Michele Bachmann…

      • NellCote71

        Dame Noonington would be so atwitter. Two sightings of brown people within the week?

  • Negropolis

    I'm going to brave a GOP rally and yell: Truth or GTFO!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is a fantastic case she's making for everything the dem's stand for and need to run on in this election.

    too bad she's not white.

    (wish i was snarking).

    • NellCote71

      Dat SO true. I know what you are saying.

  • EdFlintstone

    What about those American families that only have 1 or 2 dressage horses, Mitt and Ann feel their pain!

    • NellCote71

      Are there people really that poor?

      True story. My son a long time ago dated a very wealthy young woman. It's Texas, so it's oil. During one of the many downturns in the O&G industry, her father was bemoaning the fact that they could take only one private plane hunting. My son innocently asked why the guy needed two planes. The other plane was for the hunting dogs.

  • Lucidamente1

    When does she start yelling "whitey?"

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Today I listened to Rush Limbaugh in my car after lunch and he passed on a rumor that Rev. Wright was going to do the benediction tonight. So, it'll probably be after Michele.

      • NellCote71

        "today I listened to to Rush Limbaugh. . . .". Do we see where we made our mistake?

        • miss_grundy

          Did you upchuck your lunch in the car? By the way, are you a masochist?????

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Nah. Just on a diet.

    • Veritas78

      Tomorrow night she starts with 40ozers and by midnight we're all covered in gang tats.

  • TribecaMike

    "Show us the blankey!" — Jerome Corsi

  • Mondo_Cane

    I believe she just eviscerated Mittens – what a job!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    When do we get the surprise cameo from Barry?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Suck it, Mittens.

    • NellCote71

      Oh, yeah. Too bad they don't realize they have been blown out of the water. I only wish the Repugs would watch both conventions as I have done. How can any decent, honest human being vote for such a bunch of lying hypocrites?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    slamming the door on opportunity after you've made it…

    community organizing…

    rock on michelle.

  • IonaTrailer

    SOUTH-SIDE OF CHICAGO REPRESENT!!!!
    (103rd and Michigan)

  • Mondo_Cane

    what was the yell from the crowd?

    • BarackMyWorld

      I suspect the crowd's "4 more years" spontaneous chant was masking something sinister.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Like a hot mic-ed fart from Biden?

  • SorosBot

    "Success isn't about how much money you make" – take that, Romney greedheads.

    • Geminisunmars

      That had me cheering!!!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Four more beers!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Any bets that the pundrity will be talking about the FLOTUS' "angry" and "militant" speech tomorrow?

    Just a suspicion.

    • Arborista

      Just let 'em try & I'll show them what angry & militant looks like. (No, I don't really hang out what the pundit crowd…)

  • Guppy

    How many fuckin' signs are these people expected to have on hand?

    Is that one of the qualifications to be a delegate or something?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I'd say they should have "Swiss Army" signs, but that's kindofa touchy nationality this season.

    • Arborista

      The marshalls distribute them on an as needed basis…

  • Terry

    Funny, I haven't seen a tinfoil hat in the crowd yet.

    • finallyhappy

      I just saw a Peter Pan hat on some guy- what was that??

      • Arborista

        I figured it was a Robin Hood hat, but wasn't sure if that was an economic statement or if it was a 'Merry Men' statement?

  • TribecaMike

    Have the Ron Paul delegates noisily walked out yet?

  • vodkamuppet

    There's something about this crowd tonight that's different from the RNC…. I don't know, they look so, American.

    • NellCote71

      I know. How strange.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    took a while, but they finally got the right chant down and in unison.

    kinda a metaphor for the dems in general.

  • Terry

    We all love our country! How refreshing!

  • FakaktaSouth

    I wish he would stop looking for the best in some of these people, I truly do. He's GOT to do some neck stomping. GOT TO. We need policy, not a bunch of people happy they all feel like they got their way.

    • rickmaci

      I want him out there chewing up the opposition like some monster hungry great white shark. Ooops, you know what I mean.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Forward with patience, wisdom, courage and grace.

  • Negropolis

    Dems really need to work on their chants. lol

    • Terry

      Yes, but there is something to be said about not being lock stepped drones.

      • NellCote71

        Exactly. During the "others" convention, I figured they had held some sort of cheer leading camp prior to.

        I love our ragtag laid-blackness.

    • Negropolis

      lol! We just had a "USA! USA!" and "Yes we can!" going simultaneously.

      • RadioBowels

        Like Jesse said, at least we weren't assaulted with "you didn't build this" ad nauseum.

  • Mondo_Cane

    I wonder where Romney will buy this kind of sincerity –

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      He will have American workers train Chinese workers to manufacture sincerity before shipping the Sincerity Factory overseas.

    • Guppy

      He has people for that.

    • NellCote71

      Software upgrade. Romney Vista.

      • tessiee

        Is that the version that comes with the Sincerity Simulator [tm]?

  • SorosBot

    He'll never give up, he'll stay till the fight's won; GI Barack is there!

  • kittensdontlie

    Our President was poor and owned a rusty car. I bet he made his own Cheetos back then, just like he brews his own beer now.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i say michelle has earned a fat greasy cheeseburger.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    whoa! blacksmith reference!

  • Lucidamente1

    "Win independence from an empire." Anti-colonial rhetoric!

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Even the founders of the Democratic party like Jefferson had a small streak of Mao-Mao Anti-Colonialism in them, according to my Professor Gingrich Books-On-Tape.

  • RadioBowels

    I have a piloerection!

  • DrunkIrishman

    Maybe we elected the wrong Obama…

    • Guppy

      They can pull a Clinton-style switcheroo in a few years.

      • NellCote71

        Fine with me.

  • coolhandnuke

    An extremely wise and astute oration, that needs nary a mention of the Romneys or the Bushes–who in contrast to an amazing wife's love letter to her husband–are the antithesis of this incredibly lovable first family.

    • RadioBowels

      This clearly was a militant, angry attack on the Romneys.

      • NellCote71

        And bitter class envy.

  • Wadisay

    Damn, Shelly is good!

  • C_R_Eature

    Mom-In-Chief!

    • Veritas78

      The wingers are going to hate that! "She ain't my Mom! She got teefus!"

      • C_R_Eature

        Good.

  • Guppy

    Those cheekbones…

    • NellCote71

      Those biceps and triceps. . .

  • vodkamuppet

    All that enthusiasm I haven't been feeling the last few months? Yeah, I'm feeling it.

    • NellCote71

      Amen. Aaa-menn.

    • Arborista

      I know, right? How come we only get fed every 4 years?

  • IonaTrailer

    MOUNTAIN TOP!!!!
    I love you Michelle! (Hyde Park representing!!!)

    The difference between Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Romney, is that one is real and one is rich and disconnected.

    • NellCote71

      You can see and feel sincerity if you are even halfway sentient human. My dog would growl at Ann; she would roll over and want her belly rubbed by Michelle.

    • finallyhappy

      shit- I wrote that to a local reporter looking for reaction- but last night before I saw your comment.

  • Guppy

    And not once has anybody said his middle name.

  • gullywompr

    And that's how we do that.

  • Terry

    That was a frickin barnburner of a speech

  • Negropolis

    Out. Of. The. Park.

    • kittensdontlie

      All over America, millions are tearing up….

      • NellCote71

        I am.

    • Doktor Zoom

      And out onto the street (though not Waveland Ave, because Barry's a Sox fan)

    • Negropolis

      This was the speech of a lifetime.

  • Mondo_Cane

    applause!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    You don't really need to humanize Barack, because he's already a human.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      AHHRGGHGLE LURRRVES YOUZ WUMMINZ1

      • NellCote71

        Best imitation EVAH.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          Each time I write Ann's words, they sound more drunkenly desperate in my head. Then I think about what the Repig convention platform is and wonder why they (half the country) all have brain damage.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Excellent, excellent job. Michelle Obama actually does that thing, where I feel proud to be a lady here. That does not happen a whole bunch, but, right now, I feel really happy. Nice.

    • gullywompr

      For whatever it's worth, I'm happy you're a lady too.

    • ElPinche

      I usually dont' stand up and whoo and clap at my TV screen like a crazy person, but I did after her speech. Wife: "Are you crying??" Me: "…..No!…."

      • NellCote71

        I hope she loves you for that.

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Even Maddow is giving up the "Oh my god" for Michelle.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I'm a big fan of your avatar, and all things Little Face Mitt.

    • ElPinche

      I love Little Face Mitt!!

  • Veritas78

    That might be the best speech I've ever heard.

  • SorosBot

    And that was an awesome speech; helped wash out the bad taste all the hate and fear on display last week.

  • Come here a minute

    Holy shit. I just switched the radio to C-SPAN after the Nationals beat the Cubs, and Michelle Obama hit it out of the fucking park.

    • ElPinche

      Even Wolfie on CNN said she hit a "grand slam." He usually saves his sports analogies for the war room.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    also: republicans can't touch our signs.

    • C_R_Eature

      They were all spell checked by teachers.

      • Arborista

        Unfortunately, probably unemployed teachers…

  • TribecaMike

    Not that I care, but David Brooks calling it "a genius of a speech."

    • vodkamuppet

      Yeah, but with a but….

    • C_R_Eature

      Really? did Mark Shields slip something in his coffee?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I'm tearing -up just reading all y'alls comments.

    Okay, maybe it's the salsa.

    • NellCote71

      For me salsa and wine. Screw Dukan diet. This is OUR time.

  • ChernobylSoup

    When Michelle and Barack first got together it must have been a close thing the cosmos didn't go kablooie from the overpowering awesomeness.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And the National Examiner persists in claiming they're on the verge of divorce. (When they're not claiming Bat Boy is their son.) Seriously, people have to read that headline while they're standing in line at the supermarket.

      • NellCote71

        I do. I have. Funny, too. I am sure the Repugs have spent millions of dollars on trying to find dirt on either one or both. Have to hand it to the Enquirer, though, for the Edwards thing.

  • Guppy

    DNC has better-looking Christians.

    • C_R_Eature

      DNC has better Christians.

      • NellCote71

        Do you mean like real Christians, those who respect and acknowledge other people's religion, those who don't cram their own religion down other people's throat?

    • UW8316154

      DNC is better-looking.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Less creepy-looking Veterans of Foreign Wars, too.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Are you better-off than one hour ago?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Yes, in fact I am. I startin' to feel hopey and changey again.

    • C_R_Eature

      Now that you mention it…. yes.

  • iTuna

    Every one of those delegates is gonna get so very laid tonight.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      There's already a line to do the Castro brothers.

      • NellCote71

        Me first. From Texas. Have lived in San Antonio. Ergo.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Democrats always make persuasive arguments.Feel free to cut in.

  • Lucidamente1

    Lawrence O'Donnell looks like he just came in his pants.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Gross, but upfisted…..

      I feel dirty.

  • vodkamuppet

    Ok, where's Ken Layne to bring us all back down from that?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Drones and War On Drugs and Empty Houses Yet Homeless People.

      Did that fix your Ken Layne itch?

      • Veritas78

        None of it matters because of the Mayan calendar.

      • vodkamuppet

        Yeah, that did it. Sigh.

        • not that Dewey

          "exurban big-box sprawl wasteland nightmare"

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Somewhere, Michelle Malkin just had a coronary.

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Can the heartless have those?

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I am so sure you are right that I will petition the Internet Authority to have my comment removed from the web.

      • NellCote71

        Hello. Cheney.

    • ElPinche

      Don't tease me…you set off a couple of my google alerts.

  • Terry

    Loved the tears in her eyes. A great, genuine speech.

  • SorosBot

    Prayers; boring and pointless. We don't need this.

    • finallyhappy

      Not on PBS-went to the commentators

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Yep. Brooks made himself say nice things about Michelle.

    • glasspusher

      I'm with you on that. It's nice to see some folks use their faith as a vehicle of love and friendship. Religion, though, is neither a prerequisite for nor a guarantee of morality. :/

      • SorosBot

        And pushing faith as a virtue and doubt as a vice always pisses me off, even from a Dem. Well at least the prayer-giving lady was cute.

        • glasspusher

          I save my faith for the Red Sox. I use my doubt as a tool for my own humility and as a bullshit detector. I know how you feel.

    • IonaTrailer

      Dude, love, peace, …… psychedelics even.

      or a har-de-har-har, nod and a wink….if you know what I mean

    • CthuNHu

      Well, just like Obama's Medicare changes, it's NOT FOR YOU.

      It's for the inoculation of less political, less enlightened — but no less American — folks who watched both conventions to try to figure out this election, against their dumbass cousins' and fathers-in-law's hooting that Obama and all the Democrats are anti-Christian and don't even allow anyone to say "God" in public any more.

      I don't find your lack of faith disturbing. I am, though, glad that the DNC knows better than to share your estimate of the utility of prayer.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    goosebumps, tears

    barry better be bringing his A game.

    • NellCote71

      You just know he will. And then, on to the debates.

  • IonaTrailer

    WORK! WORK! WORK!
    Be chatting up every one you know.

  • CthuNHu

    Wow. How does the benedictress do that constant simultaneous talking and smiling thing? Pageant training?

  • MissTaken

    Michelle Obama 2016

    • SorosBot

      I'd love to see her pull a Clinton and run for Senate when Barack's term is up.

    • redarmyzombie

      HELL YEAH!!!

    • ElPinche

      Oh hells yes.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    well done dems. keep it up.

  • Wadisay

    Ann Romney and her tuna fish: compare and contrast.

    • Barrelhse

      Low blow, although you're probably right about Ann.

  • Veritas78

    Now, if only she looked like a First Lady…

  • redarmyzombie

    HA!

    Suck on that, Romney-Whores!
    (God, I love our FLOTUS…)

    EDIT: Aaaand my pants seem to have mysteriously disappeared…

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Alright, Birther Media. Have fun goin' back to your roach-and-used-needles motels.

    • TribecaMike

      That's my fave comment of the night.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Aw, thanks Mike.

  • coolhandnuke

    Is there any doubt Michelle Obama wrote that beautiful speech?
    She nailed it.
    She built it

  • MissTaken

    I think Chuck Todd has a bit of a crush on our FLOTUS.

    • C_R_Eature

      That's why he's only on camera from the waist up.

    • SorosBot

      What straight man, or gay woman, doesn't?

      • redarmyzombie

        Hell, I'M gay, and I love the woman!

      • finallyhappy

        I'm Straight and I love her- I got to wave to her once as she returned to the WH from donating her inaugural gown to the Smithsonian but as it was through tinted glass- she couldn't see how I am her biggest fan with tears in my eyes- just because she was being driven past me

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    She forgot to screech "I LOVE WOMEN!!!". That's gonna cost them.

    • SorosBot

      And she forgot to express her disdain and contempt for all the little people.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Are you speaking of YOU PEOPLE?

  • C_R_Eature

    I have to say that Michelle Obama's speech was the best political speech I've seen in a very long time. Just brilliant.
    It amazes me, even though I know better, that Michelle Obama is the exact polar opposite of the awful meme that the right wing has carefully crafted for her.

    • Guppy

      Michelle Obama is the exact polar opposite of the awful meme

      She's white?

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, not quite, but she's no New Yorker Magazine cover either.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I thought about that over and over tonight. She's an Angry Black Woman. Riiiiight.

    • Uniprober

      Patience, young Jedi…

  • Wadisay

    Rachael Maddow says now the right wing media is going to have to back off Michelle Obama. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Maybe pigs will come a-flyin' out of their arses.

  • Veritas78

    Compare and contrast: the lovin' Michelle and Ann will be gettin' tonight.

    • iTuna

      Sadly, President Obama is in DC this evening. http://www.politico.com/politico44/2012/09/obama-

      • predilectrix

        The kids these days have some ways around that.

    • miss_grundy

      I'm sure he gave her an "I love you, honey and thanks for a great job" phone call. And maybe some kisses over the phone too!

    • NellCote71

      You know. What goes around, does come around?

  • SorosBot

    I've just switched on an MSNBC feed; Chris Matthews sounds like he wants to gay marry Julian Castro.

  • TribecaMike

    Even Chris Matthews can't buzz kill this evening.

  • gullywompr

    Sure, sure, all you KoolAid drinkers… but how does this affect Sarah Palin?

    • Arborista

      Who?

    • Guppy

      Ann Romney still loves her.

  • ElPinche

    OMG….I love Michelle Obama. That last time I cried like that was when Spock "died" in Wrath of Khan.

    • Barbara_

      "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

      • ElPinche

        Barbara…don't get me started. Then I think of the kirk and spock doing the vulcan sign on the glass. Ok Here I go.

        • Barbara_

          Come to mommy. I will hold you until the awfulness goes away.

        • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

          What always gets me is how Spock straightens and pulls down his jacket when he stands up.
          (Sorry.)

          • ElPinche

            It's a vulcan thing.

      • MosesInvests

        "I have been, and always shall be, your friend."

    • finallyhappy

      Don't forget(I had it up here for a day once)- my facebook photo is me and Nimoy. Because like Sarah Palin, this thread should be about me- and Nimoy

  • MissTaken

    Dumpster dived toaster kicks empty chair's ass

    • Barbara_

      Ann Romney dumpster dives at restaurants, looking for receipts for tax deductions.

  • C_R_Eature

    Okay, it's 11:23 EDT. Which of the Wonkette editorial staff was the first to throw up?

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Michelle vs. Ann

    We The People vs. "You People"

    • ElPinche

      Brilliant!

    • ChessieNefercat

      Ooh, that's got to go on bumper stickers.

  • TribecaMike

    Spare us you and Arianna's pillow talk, Fineman.

    • MissTaken

      what a buzzkill.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Nate Silver's numbers just keep looking more awesome. Is this dude just getting our hopes up?
    http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/

    • gullywompr

      Numbers have a liberal bias.

    • TribecaMike

      Uh oh, Mitt.

  • Negropolis

    Shorter DNC: People are people, too, my friend.

  • ProgressiveInga

    The only remaining question is:
    Will FLOTUS' speech tonight have higher ratings than Honey Boo-Boo?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Luke Russert: Pure class

    Luke RussertVerified
    ‏@LukeRussert

    Mrs. #Obama getting teary eyed talking about opportunity for children. Something she has in common with Boehner.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Yes, Boehner will weep again when Nancy takes back the goddam gavel.

      edit: Luke sucks ass. Also.

    • TribecaMike

      I had to look up who this Luke Russert person is. A very impressive resume of never having had a real job in his life.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Seriously? Is he becoming the "Woody at Cheers" of MSNBC? Because that's fuckin' dumb. The boy's gonna get an easy-to-parody reputation if somebody doesn't buy him a clue.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        They finally bought him a haircut … what else d'ya want?

  • SorosBot

    Michael Steele is praising Michelle Obama's speech; he's going off script and being honest again.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      He was a real sad sack on Jon Stewart last week. I almost felt sorry for him. He also bragged about his awesome success for the American Fascism Party before he got shitcanned.

    • Negropolis

      They were also both fapping over how Michelle looked, too, which isn't bad except that they are on national television doing it and looked like dirty, old men.

  • TribecaMike

    Remind me again, Matthews, why do you have Michael Steele on during both conventions?

    Oh, and thanks Jesse!

  • coolhandnuke

    If tonite's speeches/presentations represented a theme from the Left that we are a diverse loving family, communites within the community of this Country…then I hope tomorrow night they go on full attack–with a spine–and showcase the Right as a vindictive, fearful, divisive, hate-filled Gated Community.

  • TribecaMike

    MSNBC's pundit panel is boring without that crazy mick Buchanan.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      They're all afraid to talk about the thrill they had up their legs.

  • Steverino247

    I've been present at some great political speeches, but the First Lady's speech tonight was the best I've ever heard. It didn't just define her husband, but defined what Americans should aspire to be. It reminded us of what we should do for each other in troubled times and inspired us to go do it. That's why it's a great speech. This is what leaders do. Not just tell you what needs to be done and order you to do it, but inspire you to do it, no matter what the cost. Just wonderful!

    • JohnnyQuick

      1000% Agreement. IT WAS THE FUCKING GREATEST!!!

      I now want to start a Michelle Obama religion, maybe more like one of them Buddhist type deals where you can still be religious or atheist and join.

      It will be explicitly say that she is not divine. Just that she can talk about people coming together, or her own life story, and make you FEEL divine.

      I'm only slightly exaggerating… Fuck! I'm not even exaggerating.

  • NellCote71

    Chuckle.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Where were the people with the muskets and the tri-cornered hats? I thought they were the REAL Amurrica. Shouldn't they have been their applauding OUR First Lady?

    • redarmyzombie

      They were too busy over in Amercia.

      • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

        No surprise, since they're Morans who should get a brain!

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          I LOVE that picture with all my heart.

  • mustangsavvy

    Ted Strickland is pissed off and he doesn't care who knows it!

    Seriously folks – Michele Obama is the wind beneath Barack's wings! I love this woman. Outstanding speech, fucking nailed it.

  • gullywompr

    Does Debbie Wasserman-Schultz look great tonight or what?

    • rickmaci

      Lightened the hair, lost some weight, great makeup. Fapfapfapfap.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    WHOA, what happened to Debbie Wasserman Schultz?! Is she trying to make Allen West explode with conflicted disdain and attraction?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Okay, when Michelle Obama walked off stage, I….uh….I….what was I saying again?…

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Once again, the GOP has succeeded in their evil scheme of making the Democratic Party seem inclusive, aspirational and fun.

  • Biff

    I didn't get to watch too much, was outside working after the sun went down due to ungodly hot here in the desert, but I managed to listen on c-span radio. I just wanted to say that I've never been more in love with FLOTUS than I am tonight. What a fine speech, what a fine woman…

  • TribecaMike

    Christine Quinn on MSNBC to tell us what Bloomberg is thinking.

  • gellotto

    yes wonkette michelle did stop time. now please mrs flotus stop making men weep. its just bad form.

  • rickmaci

    Damn, can't wait to hear the Big Dog. Table was really set tonight.

    • LibertyLover

      I'd still vote for him again.

  • punkneverdies

    oh and just to double post, i don't want to comb through 8 pages to find out if anyone pointed out that ledbetter is from alabama, and YES there is a BIG. DIFFERENCE.

    • finallyhappy

      No, people said she was from Texas and had a Texas accent. You know, you southerners all sound alike to us east coast liberal elitists. I think Texas has dentists- is that the difference?

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      When I heard the remarks about her Texas accent I could hear the heads exploding in Alabama all the way up here in Illinois.

  • TribecaMike

    Gen. JC Christian, Patriot compiles moronic scumbag comments from Glenn Beck's "Blaze" about Ms. Obama's speech so you don't have to… http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2012/09/patriots-e

    • sullivanst

      It's so funny to me to watch the Republican base embrace colonialism as a thing simply because they heard Obama was against it. Also fucking scary.

  • amoosefloats

    I really hope the DNC brings Betty White in to rant at a empty bain capital boardroom chair.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Meanwhile, the folks over at Free Republic are (again) busy making plans for a new civil war. It will start when The Blacks riot out of control after their Food Stamps EBT cards stop working. (yes, yes, we know that 70% of food stamp recipients are white)…

    May or may not do a full post on this. Right now, just noting it because the stupid is so intense.

    • C_R_Eature

      We will have to Savagely Mock these people eventually. Why not now?

      • cheetojeebus

        Why am I thinking of Manson now? oh right, 'cuase that loon thought the same sort of stuff.

        • C_R_Eature

          Uh huh. Not only that, he was looking forward to it. Just like these people.

    • finallyhappy

      Don't need a war- let's pick a place for them where they "can do it themselves" w/o gov't help. In 2 months or less- they will become the Road.

    • James Michael Curley

      After reading most of that crap I recommend that the writing you do start with "Dear FBI Director Mueller:"

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Holy crap — I just watched Michelle's speech here and I have to say — I don't envy that Barack Obama fella who has to follow that act. Holy shit — last week Ann was all "we were so poor we ate on an ironing board that stood on two piles of blue-chip stocks," and today Michelle's all My husband and me were poor because we thought shit was wrong and were trying to fix it."

    Last week it was all "Ha ha, you people have had the wheel long enough — now give it to us and get in the back seat where you belong. That cliff is getting away." And just now Michelle was all Jimmy Stewart and Cesar Chavez giving a sunrise sermon about the greatness of America and it's not even a paean to the avaricious, coal-hoarding, padlock-the-exits stingy fuckin' sweatshop slumlords who cost this country a fuckin' arm and a leg — it's about the fuckin' dignity of the fuckin' American citizen trying to make life better for his children.

    And holy shit, that's so much better than checking off a bunch of rhetorical highlights. Michelle got at the reasons America was made by the American people — and why that's best when it includes all of us.

  • Terry

    Tomorrow night, it's Big Dog. Bill Clinton speaks.

    • Negropolis

      I thought tonight was Bill's night?

  • Terry

    Yes, I'm tired from staying up late watching the convention and was still thinking in the mindset of last night. I meant to say Next, it's Big Dog.

    I'm going to need a nap after work. lol

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    And just when I thought the 2 party dinosaur system was becoming irrelevant…… 9:22 PM changed my entire worldview.

    #2legit2quit

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, I was all wrapped up in a Kurt Wallander book last night and never managed to turn on the TV, but I'm glad to hear the mayor wowed the crowd.

  • James Michael Curley

    I watched from 6:00 until closing on C-Span. Ms Curley has seen a piece about Ryan Case earlier discussing his family's inability to afford health care. It should be hammered home and not just suggested. Ann Romney promoted her battle with MS. Ryan Case's mother died from it. Ms. Romney got all the health care she could and a horse. Ms. Case could not afford the drugs needed to prolong her life.

  • Biff

    I assume, by sheer lack of comments(imperical non-data?), that this was a satisfying opening night?

    • James Michael Curley

      Well the rain started after I got in the house. I had an Italian Sub from Jersey Mike's. The cat didn't miss the litter box, so what more can you ask for?

  • widestanceromance

    I've been in such a funk lately, I've barely even lurked here for days, let alone mustered enough snark to comment. BUT, after hearing Michelle's speech last night, I experienced actual human emotions again. I was wowed, and am goose-bumply all over just thinking about it.

    How do we get her on the ticket for 2016?

    • LibertyLover

      Wouldn't that be cool? She'd be a good President.

      • widestanceromance

        She has studied under the best after all (yay, I got my snark back!).

  • Barrelhse

    Exciting! Reading around the internet it seems like all glowing reviews for MichelLe and the whole tone of the convention- quite different from the usual ho-hum "where's the beef?," and hopefully energizing for the apathetic voters out there.
    Go Dems!!! May the People overpower the Money Machine.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    The important thing is, will our balloon drop be better than theirs?

  • DahBoner

    Which one was Vaggatarian Boo Boo?