Let the Swooning Commence

DNC Night Two: The Professor and Hillary Clinton’s Husband

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

We dunno, it just seemed a logical juxtapositionWelcome, Wonketteers, to the Now-Slightly-More-Godly DNC, Night Two! They are letting the new guy run the liveblog tonight, and the new guy does not even have cable! If there’s any kind of over-the air signal, we will at least have PBS or something, otherwise, it’s an NPR / DNC livestream blog.

9:20 There is someone speaking Spanish! Do we press “1” or panic now? Oh, it is a Spanish Lesson to say “forward” and “backward” in espanol. I feel smarter already.

9:25: “Don’t Boo, Vote!” Yes, we like her.

9:30: Now we are buying a car online. Wait, this sounds like an ad. Ah, now we see — A CEO is telling us that he built it, but that he needed roads and bridges and the government to be partners. He will not be invited to play in Galt’s Gulch, will he?

9:32: It’s the auto bailout. Ordinary but largely telegenic Americans are glad. And now, an Ohio UAW thug! As thugs go, she is pretty easy on the eyes. But watch out for her if you’re selling trinkets at a teabagger rally.

9:40 UAW Head Thug! And he has very dubious stage presence, even if he’s praising one of the good old progressive Republicans that are extinct today. He is saying things that we agree with, but we need a soda pop. We didn’t know we would be liveblogging or we would have stocked up on beer. Mmmmm. Why doesn’t anyone deliver beer? That would help the economy.

9:45 Walking across the room makes the digital antenna signal go kerflooey. Then it came back on when we sat down. No one can explain the science of this. We must pray. UAW head thug is saying more things that are good but anodyne. Sigh. Coke Zero will never be beer.

9:47 Randy Johnson was laid off by Mitt Romney, which is why he is no longer the Big Unit. Cindy Hewitt didn’t even know who Mitt Romney was when he started running, and then she heard he ran Bain, which fired her. Why don’t these people understand that that is just the way Capitalism works? They should borrow money from their parents. David Foster is a guy we would have a beer with (sob!)

9:52 David Brooks finally got his wish, and people are talking about jobs. They are not talking about jobs the way David Brooks would like them to. We are “abstracted from this particular moment,” he says. Probably because he has to settle for freakin’ Coke Zero when he really wants a New Belgium “1554” ale. Or because he is a twerp.

9: 58 Luke Russert has shared his wisdom with us via the Twitterz:

Speaker at #DNC2012 suggests #Romney makes money with no moral compass. A stretch considering his tithes so much or fair game?

Sponsored Intermission

If you give money to your gay-bashing church while you throw people out of jobs, you can’t really be all that bad.

10:05 Sandra Fluke is here, and the character-assassination drones have already been launched. She is bringing some grade-A angry here, and we like that.

10:08 We do feel compelled to point out that quantum theory suggests that both of those futures actually could exist in a multiverse. Star Trek would not lie about this.

10:10 The CEO of Costco is here. Usually he comes in a 10-pack.

10:12 David Brooks are you listening? Here is a man talking about how capitalism can be successful when it pays its employees a living wage. One might even think that the well-being of consumers has something to do with the economy, maybe? Aaaand now he’s kind of rambling and losing us with this list. His talking points come in a bulk pack.

10:15 We will now just plain melt with love for Elizabeth Warren.

10:21 Um. We are supposed to be snarking, but damned if we aren’t just rapt. Here is a woman who plainly and simply knows how to take a simple truth — “The game is rigged” — and back it up. This is some kind of class warfare, because she is pointing it out.

10:24 Why is she not stomping Scott Brown by 20 points? This is class warfare we can believe in.

10:27 (OK, that nervous tongue-over-your-teeth thing? Distracting. We still love you, don’t worry. But it’s a little schoolmarmish, maybe.)

10:30 “We build it together” — that is a good reply. Somebody should have said that the first time around…

10:33 This is like that Price-Waterhouse thing at the Oscars, kinda. Only shorter.

10:34 Jebus Christ THAT SONG!!!!!!!

10:35 Freakin’ Fleetwood Mac just shook loose the recollection that there is still a half bottle of scotch in the kitchen.

10:37 Bill, you goddamn moderate sellout and zipper slave, you disappointed me, but I’d still vote for you, you crazy bastard.

10:39 This man gives good speech. Mr. Brooks, did you notice the logical case for an economic policy there? Oh, did you remember your scotch, too? Yummmm.

10:45 We want to go be cooperative with someone right now, if you know what we mean. And we think you do.

10:47: Oh, yes, just wanted to add, SUCK IT PUMAS!

10:50 Bill is just having so much fun, and making this look easy. There should be, like, a Senior Presidential Tour where former presidents like Bill can do this from time to time.

10:55 Jim N from Wonkette’s Sekrit Headquarters sez “this fucking guy is going to go on for 100 hours.”

10:56 Bill is downshifting into Explanation Mode. OK, the scorekeeper thing was fun. At some point, like, say, Hour 50, “Let me tell you one more thing” is going to elicit only a sad, painful laugh.

11:00 We suddenly remember when the term “policy wonk” entered the national vocabulary.

11:03 Quoting commenter fuflans for truth: “and go ahead fact checkers: fact check away.”

11:05 This is the most fact-based speech of either convention. Remember when facts were considered persuasive? We suddenly feel like going and reading something that presents a logical case for a proposition and deploys compelling evidence to support its argument. We fear that the impulse will pass, however.

11:10 You know what’s weird? WE want to listen, too. Bill Clinton is reviving the ancient art of evidence-based argument, ladies and gentlemen. And it is serious.

11:15 “Now, let’s talk about the debt…” Could we maybe have a bit of Romney-bashing, too? Because we are not used to this “thinking about facts” thing, we are so out of shape in that area.

11:18 We are just going to sit back and let the waves of facts and numbers wash over us. This man is making a strong case for Clinton 2016. No, no, settle down, that is silly. But wouldn’t it be just SO FUCKING COOL if arithmetic could become a dominant theme of this election?

11:22 Commenter Callyson, quoted for truth: “No one can kick the GOP’s ass over deficits better than Bill Clinton”

11:24 MANLY HUG!!! MANLY HUG!!!

11:26 Mercy, mercy, mercy, 48 minutes of policy nerd PORN. Also, could Gwen Ifill please punch David Brooks in the face, HARD?

(With votes of course.)

11:29 Melissa Harris-Perry on the Tweetz: “Ok is it weird that President Clinton started the speech in his 60s but is apparently 40 at the end?”

11:33 Whoooo! Um, Wonketteers, was that good for YOU, too? Christ, we don’t even smoke and we need a ciggy. Thank you for making my premier debut (really, one should be precise about these things) as a livebloggennator so damn much fun. OK, Bill helped. Goodnight, you filthly sluts!

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    I'm learning lots of Espanol!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Si!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Que?

  • C_R_Eature

    I'm waiting to see Elizabeth Warren take off and Nuke Them from Orbit.

    Warren/Ripley 2016!

    • bibliotequetress

      Oh my god i want t-shirts!

      • C_R_Eature

        How about This then?

        • bibliotequetress

          I LOVE IT! We may need to make a trip to Cafe Press later.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Elizabeth would burst into a transvaginal wanding procedure and blurt, "Get away from her you bitch!"

      • CthuNHu

        Fifty Shades of Blue.

      • viennawoods13

        Best catfight ever.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      it is the only way to be sure…

  • Callyson

    "We didn't do it alone"

    God, it is so refreshing to see a businessperson give credit where credit is due. Our economy would be in much better shape if Wall Street followed suit…

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Wall Street doesn't need roads or bridges: they create money out of air.

      • Isyaignert

        They created money out of air, sold it to the 'effin' world, then shorted the whole pile of chit and watched the fireworks from their gated villas. Fukkers!!

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      I know…I always thought that self made bullshit was just mythos for the wealth worshippers but it's really an expression of rank egotism. I mean most of these guys started out as ball chowder for a wealthy father and were given every advantage a human in this society could want. How can RMoney and Ryan be so duplicitious as to try and convince people they're brave cowboys who made themselves? They're so, so very out of touch they might actually believe such mythical bullshit…like a modern day Odyssey with a huge difference: Ulysses is a delusional moron who acts like he found his way home by himself when his entire crew and the gods did it for him…

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    What's with the car commercial? Get the used car salesman to at least say something in Spanish.

  • vodkamuppet

    PBS. David Brooks provides plenty of material.

    • miss_grundy

      I wish someone would kick this guy in the nutsack, I can't stand this guy.

    • Sparky McGruff

      Material for what, exactly? Plugging a drain?

    • Nibbler of Niblonia

      His sole skill seems to be: Democrat says x, David Brooks pretends they aren't talking about x, and then David Brooks says, "I wish he would have talked about x."

  • C_R_Eature

    Is it Wrong of me to hear this song in my head every time I see Bill Clinton?

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    HE HAS A SQUARE SHAPED HEAD does Mr. Carmax millionaire man.

  • Terry

    The CarMax guy is giving a solid talk.

    My favorite of the night so far is Sister Simone Campbell.

    • Arborista

      Sister Simone totally rocked my world! If you gotta have a religion, she's a pretty good role model…

  • Callyson

    And coming up soon…those former employees at companies controlled by Romney’s Bain Capital…

    What a beautiful evening…

  • shelwood46

    The Daily Caller has accused Julian Castro of not being sufficiently Latino because he is not fluent in Spanish. Pay attention to tonight's lesson, Julian, and maybe you'll become brown enough for Tucker Carlson.

    • Callyson

      Tucker, eres un idiota. Vete a la mierda.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        pinche pendejo

        • MosesInvests

          Chinga tu madre, cabron!

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    Token rich white guy is finished now.

  • Barbara_

    Sandra Fluke is going to give someone a smack down.

    • Callyson

      I am impatiently waiting to view that beautiful sight…

      • Barbara_

        Me too, Callyson!

  • emmelemm

    Dok Zooooooom!

    {holds lighter in air}

  • vodkamuppet

    I should totally be in this video, 2008 destroyed my career! Drink!

  • Terry

    Glad they're featuring the Auto Bailout. That concept of cascading effects is something the GOP'ers like to friggin ignore.

    …and they used Fox News clips to prove it worked. Ohhhhh burn!

  • NorthStarSpanx

    It's good to have the refreshers in how to trash competent, able, accomplished people who happen to be a D. It's always interesting to see how Devil's Advocacy works.

    Que the vicious, nasty backlash on the speakers tonight and in the morning.

    • IonaTrailer

      Let them spew – they're going to fucking LOSE in November.

  • Callyson

    "Are you better off than you were four years ago? Yes, we are"

    Love him…

    • Isyaignert

      They are really, really, really grasping at poison ivy here. He// yes, we're better off. Look at the numbers, although I do realize that the 'cons live in bizzarro world.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Oh, it's Austin Ligon from CarMax — for whom I was a contractor for a while. What's funny is that CarMax was created and spun off by Radio Shack, who used their new invention to offload their sketchy employees and rogue executives. Radio Shack went on to invent DivX, a clunky and expensive subscription DVD service back when everyone was trying to figure out how to do DRM. They never recovered from this failure, and sank into dissolution.

    CarMax, flawed as they may be, continues to operate. I'm impressed to see a business executive from a fairly conservative milieu endorse Obama — not because he's obviously better for business, but because executives' mindset is often knee-jerk Republican regardless of what makes sense.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Is that the guy talking now?

      • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

        He was just on for a few moments — the person now (just leaving the podium) is the head of the UAW.

  • Terry

    The UAW lady is doing well. Man, that's jumping into the deep end of public speaking

  • saggyboobedhag

    cspan you idjit: http://www.c-span.org/DNC/

  • IonaTrailer

    UNIONS!!! Are good things! They made America!! We own this!

    ILWU representing! SEIU too!

  • Callyson

    "Standing for right when it's unpopular is a true test of character"

    Nice slap at Mittens…

  • T3rbo

    Why are there no signs for people to hold up that say "Mitt Romney is an Asshole!"??

    • finallyhappy

      that is why I make my own signs for every rally- how much is some poster board and a sharpie??

      • miss_grundy

        Because unlike Clint Eastwood and the rest of the asshats in the Republican party, the Democrats are ladies and gentlemen and our families taught us manners.

        • T3rbo

          Oh, I thought it would be ok to make Tea Party style signs for the convention.
          "Romney is a DIRTY FUCKING MEXICAN FASCIST" would have been ok, in this sardonic fantasy

        • T3rbo

          Also, I meant it in a good way. He poops out jobs.

      • T3rbo

        Yeah, this is probably why I am not a delegate. Everyone would have a nice printed sign that says "Forward" or whatever, we would have a sharpie sign that says "Romney SUCKS KOCH!"

        • pepperpat

          Just glue some glitter to it and no one will notice.

  • DustBowlBlues

    I just heard from Al Gore that the Costco CEO is more fantastic than I'd thought, even. Unionized work force! Such a cool company–I'm sure that's why there are no Costcos in the Dust Bowl. {hangs head over keyboard and silently weeps.}

    • IonaTrailer

      Costco has some great deals on line and shipping is often free….

      • DustBowlBlues

        Thanks for the tip. I didn't know that. Wonder if they deliver the giant bags of cat food I have to buy at Walfuckingmart.

      • DustBowlBlues

        People around here belong to Sam's Club. I gave it a tour and found it depressing and woefully short on choices. I was expecting Costco, so that's probably why it looked so awful, in contrast. BTW–I haven't been back to creepy Walmart since that one tour.

        • Isyaignert

          Sam's Club is part of Chinamart. Costco is awesome; they're a company with integrety; their product quality is superb and the prices are excellent. It's like a treasure hunt every time you go there because they always have new stuff. Also too, there's the myriad of food samples.

          • Bezoar

            Love Costco, you should see their collection of commercial restaurant and cooking equipment in the big Seattle store, the one in Tukwila. I just bought a steam table pan to use as a giant bread loaf pan. 6 cups of flour, one cup of oats, giant loaf. Teenage boys eat one per day.

        • Biff

          I'm near one of those towns that the walmartians have killed off. The only time I'll go in is if it will save me a trip to Vegas, 65 miles away. That's the same reason I don't have a Costco membership, no way I'm doing a 130 mile turnaround for shopping..

          • bobbert

            I'm about 65 miles from the nearest Costco (in Manteca). I still have my membership — I stop on the way back from San Jose every couple months and stock up on canned goods and wine, mostly.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      C'mon down to Tucson. I spent part of the day cleaning baseboards in anticipation for having my rugs allergy-cleaned tomorrow, so I can attest that we have plenty of dust here. You'll feel right at home and we have at least three Costcos.

      • Callyson

        Hey there–I knew you lived in AZ but did not know exactly where. Tucson is an oasis in what would be a nice state if it could get rid of Maricopa County.

        Message from someone who lived in Tempe for three years and HAD to get the fuck out, even at the expense of leaving a long – term relationship, for my own sanity…

        • Doktor Zoom

          FREE BAJA ARIZONA!

    • http://wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Don't forget you can buy caskets at Costco… burial on the cheap!

  • TribecaMike

    Cristina Saralegui 4 Craft Brewers!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I would just like to take minute to announce that I have copies of Mittens tax returns for sale for $1.99 per year. Surprisingly he used the 1040EZ form for the last 19 years.

    • T3rbo

      What did he write in under "occupation?" Asshole?

      • Callyson

        "Unemployed."

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      that's much cheaper than the million dollars those anonymous hackers wanted- must be the free market in action

  • FakaktaSouth

    Immigrants (undocumented! GASP!) and Unions, Elizabeth and Bill, Doktor Zoom and my tv! Allrighty! I am so excited and pleased and my kids are all asleep! YAY! I love this! I am such a huge dork! WHATEVER! Yay!

    • AlterNewt

      You are so much more than a dork. But, go on….

    • IonaTrailer

      I'm totally with you sistah! This is great! Pushing back on the media bullshit that Faux News and right-wing radio spew.

    • littlebigdaddy

      And abortions and teh gheys!

      • NellCote71

        All sorts of warm fuzzy, and so proud to have been a Democrat before I could even vote. And against considerable ongoing family pressure. "Are you STILL a Democrat," my 90-year aunt asks, in the same tone of voice she would ask if I were turning tricks.

        • Geminisunmars

          Just say to her "No, not any more. My pimp won't let me."

    • Boojum

      If you are a dork, I don't want to be that other thing that is the opposite of a dork.

  • AlterNewt

    Now will there be refreshments?

    • T3rbo

      just drink every time they say "union." you'll be good.

      • T3rbo

        they stopped saying union. come on, guys, help me out

      • Oblios_Cap

        It's working for me!

        • miss_grundy

          Everytime you see a woman. Sorry, you'll wind up in the emergency room with alcohol poisoning…..

  • vodkamuppet

    Bob King seem buzzed to anyone else?

  • C_R_Eature

    I'm worried that the DNC hasn't paid any attention to the all-important Cephalopod demographic.

    • new_pic_for_NEWTer

      Cthulhu approves of this message.

      • C_R_Eature

        OBAMA FHTAGN!

    • bibliotequetress

      Is that the same as the anti-circumcision demographic?

      • C_R_Eature

        Tentacles. Uncut.

  • bikerlaureate

    Sister Campbell was great.
    The lineup tonight is actually instilling a little hope…

    • StarsUponThars

      HOPE ON!! HOPE ON!! HOPE ON!!

  • Callyson

    Slightly OT, Erick Erickson is still an asshole:

    Last night, several women spoke at the Democratic National Convention, among them First Lady Michelle Obama and DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz. And Erik Erickson, CNN's token bombastic jagoff conservative decided to present us with some light hearted bon mots about the speaking roster, calling the DNC "The Vagina Monologues." Get it?! Because ladies were talking? God, that cutting-edge comic Erik Erikson has his finger on the pulse of up the butt of America.

    http://jezebel.com/5940769/cnns-resident-conserva

    Asshole.

    • C_R_Eature

      Erick needs a starring role in "The Vagina Dentata Monologues"

    • BarackMyWorld
      • Callyson

        Oh, *that* is evil…hee hee hee…

    • Isyaignert

      Why are peanut-dicked men so afraid of women? Mommy issues?

    • shelwood46

      I liked the Jezebel article today that quoted MLK Jr's wingnut niece, who criticized our President for all the babies that weren't born because they were "contracepted or aborted or not conceived in the first place". Barack Hussein Obama: Cockblocker.

      • Chichikovovich

        or not conceived in the first place

        We should build a graveyard with a million crosses to commemorate the nameless victims of abstinence education.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Well, no, THOSE kids got pregnant right quick.

          • Chichikovovich

            Very true. What was I thinking?

            It should be more properly a graveyard with a million crosses to commemorate the nameless victims of abstinence.

            [P.S. – that was some mighty fine liveblogging you did there Zoom mon chum]

          • Boojum

            Or the nameless victims of menstruation plus masturbation. Oh the horror!

    • T3rbo

      Total chumps! Do they think this is winning them any angry white male votes? It sure as hell is losing EVERY female voter within earshot of this nonsense, and they can't stop doing it. Too bad we couldn't find a Barack Obama that is blacker-it would drive them even crazier: they would not be able to avoid the N word after about ten minutes

  • Callyson

    Oh yeah, former employees from companies fucked over by Bain…

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Happy news for Arizona Dems. I saw Gabby Giffords sitting with our delegation.

    • C_R_Eature

      That's the best news I've heard this week! I posted a link to Wonkville that I can't find now – of course – of Gabby Giffords and her husband on top of a mountain in Europe recently. Huge grin. The woman is all kinds of awesome.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        I saw that picture. It was some astronaut conference in Switzerland. Giffords and Kelly just spent their book money on a $1M+ house in historic neighborhood in Tucson (the city, not the 'burbs, of which we have plenty). I think it's good news that we might have Kelly running for something. I definitely think he's a future candidate.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Would that be in Sam Hughes (or as we always said, "Barrio Volvo")?

          • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

            No, El Encanto.I haven't figured out which house, though.There aren't that many.I never heard Barrio Volvo.LOVE IT.

  • T3rbo

    oh snap, Bain Capitol victims!

    • T3rbo

      ooooo! no moral compass! mitt has one, it just points to kalob, which can be disorienting

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    Union guy called him perezedent Barack Obama – now the Bain guys!!!!!

  • OurHoboSenator

    Gary Glitter! The Democrat party is objectively pro-pedophile!

  • vodkamuppet

    This should be good, "yo, fuck Romney"

  • Callyson

    Not even allowed to take their personal items? FFS, I hope they sued the bastards…

  • TribecaMike

    Oh, it's the GOOD Randy Johnson.

  • IonaTrailer

    Did that guy get to take his stapler when they fired him?

  • http://www.blogula-rasa.com GinnehRED57

    I NEED A CRAFTBREW, dammit.

    • IonaTrailer

      I'll share a virtual Crown Royal whit chew

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      The President's chef gave you the White House home brew recipe. What else do you want? Time to make the stuff??
      http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/09/01/ale-chi

  • Callyson

    "America cannot afford Romney economics"

    Too true, brother, too true…

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I would like to take a moment to thank the goddess that he didn't call it Romneyomics.

  • Terry

    Making money without a moral compass! Yep, that encapsulates it right there.

  • emmelemm

    Coke Zero will never be beer.

    That is 100% true.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      My bartender has been lying to me all this time?

      • emmelemm

        If your bartender successfully turns Coke Zero into beer, he may in fact be the second coming of Jesus.

        Perhaps the Rapture is closer than we imagine!

        • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Is that a promise?

          • emmelemm

            Pray hard and you'll find out.

  • AlterNewt

    Clinton: "Okay ladies, just one more, but then I have GOT to get out on stage."

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    Creating jobs in the plant shutting down field is Willard's forte.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Sorry Randy , Romney IS A BAD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Callyson

    "…making life tougher for working Americans. That is not the kind of experience we need in the White House"

    Preach it, sister!

  • http://www.blogula-rasa.com GinnehRED57

    Can haz hashtag? The Tweeter is full of Ann Coulter barfing egg sacs.

    • bibliotequetress

      Yes. Ann Coulter now hates nuns.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Lady, I sympathize, but I disagree with you on one thing — it is wrong to swoop in on a profitable company and ruin it for your own gain. If there was one thing I'd severely restrict about current capitalism, it would be the rapacious disaggregation of profitable companies employing people for the gain of a few speculators.

    • Oblios_Cap

      There ain't no CEO worth what they're getting paid, either.

      • Boojum

        Just tax the shit out of CEO pay greater than 20:1 ratio of the lowest paid employee or independent contractor anywhere in any closely related entity.

        And ban people from serving on the board of more than one publicly traded company. That shit is incest.

        • sullivanst

          And ban people from serving on the board of more than one publicly traded company. That shit is incest.

          That shit is the new Aristocracy. It's not what you know, it's who you know. And who your Daddy bl-/knew.

  • TribecaMike

    Don't mess with the Steelworkers. Seriously, don't.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      My Grandpap, my Daddy, and three of my uncles were steelworkers … Crucible Steel, Midland, PA. Yeah, you didn't mess with any of them. Dad got my brothers summer jobs in the mill when they were in college. He said it was to insure they didn't drop out. And they didn't.

      • Isyaignert

        Haha! A friend of mine spent a summer on a fish cannery boat in Alaska. She started college in the fall.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut
  • IonaTrailer

    I love me some David Foster. Mustache rides anyone?

    • TribecaMike

      John Bolton libel!

      • IonaTrailer

        Eee-uuuwww
        (rubs eyes)

      • Isyaignert

        You just ruined it for me. Thanks very little!!

  • gullywompr

    Future President Franken in the crowd pressing the flesh…

    • Isyaignert

      Slightly OT, but if you can, watch the movie "Trading Places" which I've watched every Christmas for almost 30 years. Future President Franken plays a drunk baggage handler and it's awesome! Plus, there's young Jamie Lee Curtis' naked boobies. It's actually a very timely movie.

      Here's the trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjDbJQKDXCY

      • Callyson

        I fucking LOVE that movie, though it depresses me that it is still relevant and timely today…

  • Terry

    Al Franken was trying to pick his nose, but noticed the camera on him

    • vodkamuppet

      I almost posted this exact comment but I knew someone would beat me to it.

    • An_Outhouse

      that late night tv training comes in handy some times

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Nah. He was drawing a map of the USA inside his nose.

  • Callyson

    "they used some of that borrowed millions to pay themselves bonuses…fired steelworkers while they pocketed profits"

    This clip needs to go into an attack ad, stat…

    • Terry

      I agree. Very clear explanation

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Romneyeconomics?
    Mittenseconomics?
    Mittnomics?
    Willardeconomics?
    Mittmics?
    Romonomics?
    Pissonyounomics?
    I got nothing

  • IonaTrailer

    My late mother-in-law got screwed out of her husband's pension from the Chicago steel mills because of Bain. I got a dog in this fight.

    • Oblios_Cap

      My wife lost her retirement thanks to Rick Scott at HCA. I hear ya.

    • Callyson

      I hope you are telling EVERYONE about this, and I hope you are in a swing state.

      Sorry about your MIL.

      • IonaTrailer

        (In So Cal – with my peeps.) My mother-in-law's family, who used to be Dems in Chicago, turned Republican when they moved to Florida. It's really, really hard to keep it civil during the holidays.

        • Isyaignert

          I hear ya. Just try not to "go there."

          The pilots at American Airlines lost their pensions in the AA bankruptcy. The airline has billions in cash and the plan is underfunded by millions, so of course, all of that DEFERRED COMPENSATION will just go to the shareholders or the CEO's pocket or the Caymen Islands, whatever.

        • Callyson

          (sending internet hug)

          Ouch…sorry to hear that, neighbor (I'm in Los Angeles, welcome to the state that the Reeps love to hate…)

          • IonaTrailer

            We should organize a Wonkette meet-up!

          • Callyson

            Seriously–I'm thinking an election victory party…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mustache Romney victim guy is a good speaker.

  • Serfville

    Bottom Line: Romney is just a Gorden Gecko clone.

    • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

      I think he might have been the actual inspiration for the character. (Not snark.)

    • Terry

      Without Gecko's charm or style

    • Isyaignert

      Here's a phrase that's woefully underused today, but was commonplace in the 1980s – CORPORATE RAIDER. That's our Mitt Rmoney. a CORPORATE RAIDER!!

  • BathroomGoblin

    I have my xtube account open in another tab if anyone is interested.
    Oh, David Brooks. Never mind.

  • TribecaMike

    Did someone say there seems to be a lot of Marylanders on the stage tonight? Funny, being that its a safe state.

    • Terry

      But an awesome one that's home to a lot of Dem leaders of various sorts

      • finallyhappy

        and me and Terry- so lots of awesome Dems of all sorts

        • Terry

          Hugs, hon

        • TribecaMike

          Go Terps!

    • C_R_Eature

      Safe, but there's an awful lot of talent here.

      EDIT: And also, me!

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        And a team that just tied the Yankees for first place!! Go, Orioles!

  • Callyson

    Speaking of Lyin' Ryan…a post on fitspo said it all:

    All I need to know about Paul Ryan is that he is the kind of man who would lie about doing a 2:50 marathon.
    DON'T FUCK WITH RUNNERS.

    Yeah, what that person said…

    • IonaTrailer

      Oh com'on, it was only an hour difference.

    • viennawoods13

      Been some great columns on the New Yorker website about that.

      • Callyson

        Oooh, must check that out, thanks for the heads-up.

        • viennawoods13

          Here's the guy: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/bios/nicholas_t…. He is totally on Ryan's case about this.

          • Callyson

            Ryan told Hugh Hewitt in an August interview that he had run a marathon in “under three, high twos.” But then, after an investigation by Runner’s World, Ryan admitted he’d actually run 4:01:25.

            How happy am I to see my subscriber dollars put to good work?

            Also:

            “He didn’t run that” is perhaps the most common joke.

            Shit, maybe I should subscribe to the New Yorker too…

            Oh, and fuck P90X, also, too…

    • shelwood46

      He's in trouble with mountain climbers, too. Lied about summitting 40 14,000ft+ mountains in CO. Next we're going to find out he wasn't really the first man on the moon.

      • HistoriCat

        Most of us only tell those kind of lies to impress girls … and we usually get over it in our 20s.

    • Nostrildamus

      DON'T FUCK WITH RUNNERS.

      Better advice for the GOP would be DON'T RUN WITH FUCKERS.

  • IonaTrailer

    MSNBC is interviewing Al Franken. "There is a real theme here…" (Yes, fuck the Republican machine)

  • Terry

    David Brooks is on PBS whining, but Gwen Ifill sort of called him on it.

    • Barrelhse

      Ifill, Gwen. heh.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Was that Geraldo? Damn.

  • finallyhappy

    Chris was my state senator and soon will be my congressman(redistricting)

  • vodkamuppet

    I feel like I've insulted Brooks intelligence enough. What the fucks up with his teeth?

    • Serfville

      Vampire

    • BoroPrimorac

      Red Wine and ass kissing.

    • miss_grundy

      He forgot to brush after dinner and he probably didn't whiten, also.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey
  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    David Brooks is trying to cover Romney's ass for all those victim speeches and it sounds like he's choking on his lies.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    David Brooks on PBS has looked at the schedule, seen that Obama's program is going to be laid out tomorrow, so takes the approach that "I don't see any program here," even though he admits it's going to be described later. Way to present a credible argument, Brooks.

    • miss_grundy

      He has been whining that the Dems haven't talked about the economy. Well, they are talking about it now and the asshat is whining. Why won't Gwen Ifill just bitch-slap him?

      • Arborista

        She might if he does that "most folks do things this way" whiny thing again tomorrow.

  • Callyson

    "Congressman Ryan, America is literally in your debt"

    Nice…let's hope the mushy middle hears that line…

    • Isyaignert

      Shouldn't that be: Congressman Ryan, America's debt is literally yours?

      Only Congress can spend money and it's distressing how few citizens know that.

  • Lucidamente1

    Lawrence O'Donnell interviewing Al Franken, who so wants to crack jokes but can't.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Dog forbid that a Senator would have sense of humor!

  • PuckStopsHere

    This whole thing is lifting my spirits, making me proud to be an American again and etc. I love the Demo Natl. Convention. Bring on President Clinton!

    • Terry

      Big! Dog! Big! Dog!

  • Barrelhse

    Drop a couple of aspirin in that Coke-0 and you'll get shitfaced.

    • Isyaignert

      I thought the aspirin and Coke thing was to get high school girls horny.

      • Callyson

        But according to Foster Friess, the girls will put that aspirin between their knees. Sounds counterproductive…or kinky…

  • Callyson

    "Here's the plan…it's on the internet"

    Well, there's the problem: except for a few idiot and asshole trolls, the wingnuts don't know how to use the internetz….

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    David Brooks is much more interesting with the sound off.

    • Nostrildamus

      That's why he prefers a ball gag around the house.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    van Hollen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Pukes built the DEBT!!!!!!!!!
    Remind the motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Not The Commission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

  • Oblios_Cap

    Holy Joe! I like Biden – I don't care what anyone says.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Shut up, guy from Malcolm in the Middle.

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    Oh, the plan is on the Internet, that's why the Republcunts didn't get it.

  • gullywompr

    Franken with the Bush Tax Cuts slam! Swoosh!

  • rocktonsam

    tonight, david brooks ran out of integrity. at least Buckley took his to the grave

    what a pussy

  • An_Outhouse

    can i have david brooks job? he's such a fuckin' dumb shit and acts like he doesn't want to be there.

  • Terry

    Both PBS and CNN are talking over Chris' speech. They talked over Steny mostly, too. I am annoyed.

    • C_R_Eature

      CSPAN, if You Can.

      • Terry

        Thanks!

    • Oblios_Cap

      CSPAN!

    • Lucidamente1

      Two words: C-SPAN. Or is that one word?

    • rocktonsam

      c-span , also

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I've been switching back and forth trying to avoid the commentary, but mostly I just keep accidentally turning one or another of the feeds off.

  • AlterNewt

    No there will NOT be a swimsuit competition tonight. Who TOLD you that?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You mean the Big Dog's not coming out with abig-boobed escort on either arm, like Stevie Wonder always does?

      • AlterNewt

        He really ought to.

  • rickmaci

    Hmm. MSNBC has Al Franken on now. Al sure seems to drinking up all the atmosphere at the convention. A lot.

  • IonaTrailer

    Shut up PBS – Chris Van Hollen has that Michael Caine thing going on… xoxox

  • TribecaMike

    Not one speaker from the liberal-dominated media? J'accuse!

  • Callyson

    Share responsibility for reducing the deficit…growing the economy from the ground up…making success possible for all Americans

    God, this is all such a breath of fresh air after those idiots and assholes from last week.

    (Which reminds me, I hope I did not miss Mayor Nutter. I've been using that "idiots and assholes" quote just about every day…)

    • Isyaignert

      That's my sage advice to everyone: Watch out for the idiots and the @ssholes; because they're everywhere.

      • Callyson

        Hi–just so you know, Wonkette isn't like HuffyPo–no need to disguise the profanity. In fact, some of us embrace it.

        ;-)

        • Boojum

          Fuck yeah.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          All of the commenters at Huffy PoPo are obnoxious toddlers.

  • vodkamuppet

    Zoom, order a pizza and get the pizza guy to bring you beer, duh.

    • Isyaignert

      Haha – I heard a story where a guy needed a ride home, so he walked into a pizza parlor, orderd a pizza to be delivered to his house and rode along with the driver to his house. Genius!! Pure 'effin' genius!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Damn, NOW I read the comments!

      • vodkamuppet

        Well now you know for next time at least.

        • Doktor Zoom

          More to the point, now I know to NEVER be out of beer.

          • vodkamuppet

            First thing I learned in the Boy Scouts was "always be prepared"

  • Lucidamente1

    Is it wrong if I say that Sandra Fluke is hawt?

    • Callyson

      I would totally gay marry her.

      • Oblios_Cap

        If you're wrong, I don't want to be right.

    • CthuNHu

      If finding her hawt is wrong, I don't wanna be right-wing.

  • Callyson

    Sandra! Finally!

  • gullywompr

    SLUT!

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      I think she's on late because she was having sextyime with Bubba.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Sandra Fluke!

  • IonaTrailer

    SANDRA !!!

  • Oblios_Cap

    It's that slut! I luvs her.

  • Serfville

    Meryl Streep in Silkwood! Kewl!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    S.L.U.T.
    She may be a slut but she's sure good to me.

    TR

    • Monsieur_Grumpe
      • tessiee

        "You put up such a good clean fight; I'm afraid that you lose tonight"

        Amazingly, that song is only tied for best song on that album (with "Wolfman Jack", of course).

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    In case it hasn't been mentioned in the last 2 or 3 minutes, David Brooks is an idiot.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Still.

  • gullywompr

    Oh she's good…

  • IonaTrailer

    In that America, we'd be throwing the witch (and the Jew) down the well.

  • vodkamuppet

    Never noticed before but damn! Sandra you got it goin on!

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    YESS! Romney slam on the teabagger extremists he won't deny. Ryan slam. Sandra is laying the smacketh downeth!

  • Negropolis

    Gotta be honest, Bill is going to clean up, because barring Christina's speech, most of the others I've heard tonight have been subpar. But, I guess setting the bar so high, yesterday, will do that.

    EDIT: Nix that, Sandra Fluke just cut a bitch.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I disagree. The nun was great!

      • Negropolis

        Totally forgot Sister Simone. You are right. That was great, too.

    • TribecaMike

      Cristina Saralegui was pretty passionate, and my favorite of the night so far.

      • BoroPrimorac

        I had no idea she was such a liberal.

      • Negropolis

        I saw her show a handful of times in my life, and while I never understood a word she said, I could tell she knew what she was talking about. That was a great speech, I see why she's gotten as far as she has.

  • Callyson

    "…but it's not the America that we should be, and it's not the America that we are"

    Sing it, Sandra!

  • CarolinaStewPie

    She may be a slut, but she is SO VERY LEGITIMATE!

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    They should totally just have one day of the DNC that is devoted just to an endless parade of people dicked over by Bain Capital.

  • Callyson

    "thinks of his daughters, not his delegates, or his donors"

    WIN.

  • Wadisay

    I sort of miss the set of the RNC. I miss the ziggurt podium, down which they roll severed heads, like in Apoctolypto.

    • IonaTrailer

      But only if Mel Gibson is one of the honorees

  • Serfville

    Wow, great speech!

  • rocktonsam

    ya just know Rush is totally jerking off to this

    • Veritas78

      Why? I didn't see any Dominican children. Oh wait, maybe that's later.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Not possible, as Rushes genitalia can only be reached by a team of Dominican boys that have been shaved and well oiled.

  • new_pic_for_NEWTer

    How could any gyno-American ever vote for Willard after this… Daughters, not delegates or donors – what a great line.

    • miss_grundy

      Unfortunately, I shared a table with two female Presbyterians who are Repubs at bible study this evening. Because my rector was sitting with me, I couldn't say what I wanted, so I just thought "Jesus loves you too".

      • Chichikovovich

        Were you reading the parable of the talents?

      • Callyson

        Don't Southerners have a thing where they say "bless your heart" when they mean "fuck you"?

      • AncienReggie

        Subtext: Jesus loves you. But everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

  • TribecaMike

    In your face, pigs!

  • gullywompr

    So THIS is the day that Rush Limbaugh was going to rue…

  • Lucidamente1

    "Thinks of his daughters, not his delegates, or his donors." That's gonna leave a mark.

  • Callyson

    "A country where the president either has our back, or turns his back"

    I am so in love with this woman…

  • PuckStopsHere

    That is one fine speech that slut is delivering.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Another CEO. Fucking Commies!

  • IonaTrailer

    Romney contributed to Planned Parenthood, and was pro-choice back in the day – he must be sooooo sorry he decided to go with Lyin' Ryan.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    It's just a Fluke.

  • An_Outhouse

    up next – old guy!

  • Callyson

    I didn't know the Costco guy was from my hometown Pittsburgh.

    Crap, now I've got to sign up for a membership, stat…

  • Terry

    The CEO of Costco, I can now justify buying muffins by the pallet full

  • Oblios_Cap

    There are black folk in Washington state? Who knew?

    • Terry

      They live over towards Spokane where the rents aren't insane

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      We import them from Canada.

      • Oblios_Cap

        How aboot that?

    • TribecaMike

      Jimi Hendrix and Quincy Jones were from Washington. And that's just the old farts.

      • Isyaignert

        Also too, Kurt Cobain/Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Queensryche, and Heart (I'm going to their show at the Puyallup Fair on 9/10). Yay!!

        • shelwood46

          I didn't know they are black! And that Kurt Cobain is still doing county fairs. Cool :)

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The Slut spoke well. The Conservatives on FOX from Meghan Kelly to, well, everyone else on the panel, are pissed because she called out Romney for not standing up to Rush Limbaugh and for being a slut.

  • AlterNewt

    Product placement!

  • e_z

    Ms Fluke: "A President that has our backs…or one that turns his back"

    Excellent summation by Ms Fluke and not just for woman-for all of us.

  • iTuna

    hopefully i have time to go buy booze before Liz Warren starts!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Home now…gah, missed Sandra Fluke!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "Executives who plan and grow — not executives who reap and run." Smack.

    • Terry

      Loved that one

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I'm a Costco member. I love reading the liberal bumper stickers in their parking lot.

  • Isyaignert

    I must commend you, once again, Dr. Zoom on the excellent photos. I remain in awe.

  • http://www.blogula-rasa.com GinnehRED57

    Ann Romney's PDA: "Reminder: shop for Mitt's shirts somewhere else."

    • An_Outhouse

      oh now i know why he's there. poor romneys. everytime they try to be relatable, someone pulls the rug out beneath them.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Are you wankets watching this on a live feed or something? All I can see is an orange man with white hair flapping his gums.

    • Terry

      CSpan! Folks just directed me there before David Brooks drove me to drink

  • rocktonsam

    Bubba!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • An_Outhouse

    i started a business consisting of big ass buildings filled with shit made in china! check me out!

    • AncienReggie

      Costco actually exhibits a preference for US-manufactured goods. Plus, they have happy, well-paid employees with good benefits. And Costco insists on doing their own meat inspections. And have a marvelous Return policy!

  • Zango Crudmonger

    I am gonna get a COSTCO membership now. Awesomeness. I had one years ago, but the insanity of weekend shopping drove me off. But, union, fuck yeah!

    • Isyaignert

      Their quality is excellent and it's like a treasure hunt in there, plus there are delicious food and drink samples everywhere and the best damn hotdog evah with a drink for $1.50. No lie! I love Costco dogs.

    • ThundercatHo

      Our Costco shopping trips are our dates (old and boring, I know) and we have a lot of fun, usually do lunch first so we don't spend too much on food. The executive membership will keep track of your purchases and give you a % back so it pays for itself. There stuff is great and the employees always seem glad to be there.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I like this CEO of Costco guy. He seems like an actually decent human, has unions and is he reading off a piece of paper? He's adorable.

    • MissNancyPriss

      LOVE him. Where has he been all my life?

      • FakaktaSouth

        And SO QUAINT! Paper AND benefits, I never thought I'd see that again.

        • MissNancyPriss

          And it only took the Dems 4 years to find a successful old white coot to put on national tv.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Plus every time the crowd cheers, he puts up his hand to shush them. Some people are CEOs and some people are public speakers.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    And you know Sandra Fluke is making the shriveled up Baggers' heads explode. All they can do is get on Twitter-twat and type "slut" all over the place.

  • MissNancyPriss

    This Costco guy is my kind of guy.

  • Callyson

    With this guy and the one who spoke earlier, that's now two businesspeople with a brain and a long term vision. Maybe America will be OK after all, eventually…

  • Lucidamente1

    How classless to have a slut address a convention.

    • CthuNHu

      I think it was very gracious of her to lower herself.

      • Oblios_Cap

        They probably made a hormone. I'll bet they didn't pay her.

  • CthuNHu

    Old CEO just said "that's how we do."

    Yeah, he added words afterwards, but still.

  • TribecaMike

    Is this Costco guy from another dimension? I'm just not used to hearing CEO's talk like this.

  • vodkamuppet

    Hmm… Maybe I should get a job at Costco, this rash is not going away.

    • Isyaignert

      Almost everyone starts out on the dreaded cart duty. But, if you can hack that, they'll invite you inside where it's nice and warm and full of cool stuff.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I still can't understand why big business doesn't support single-payer health care. It puts us at a competitive disadvantage against the rest of the world. American Exceptionalism is a bitch.

    • Isyaignert

      I believe that companies having to pay employee health care costs adds another $2000 to the price of an American-made car. That's a real disadvantage.

      If we had universal healthcare, we wouldn't need Workers' Comp.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    And fuck off Sam's Club. Take a lesson from a company that treats its employees with respect.

    • Terry

      Better muffins, too

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Christ Almighty would I like to beat the living shit out of Luke Russert.

  • PlanetWingNut

    Sandra gave good hea…Speech!!1

  • Callyson

    So that bright ideas are rewarded more than speculation

    Oh God–can this guy PLEASE replace Tim Geithner in the second Obama term?

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    This Costco guy is like a weird cross between Colonel Sanders and WIlford Brimley. Also – why did they mount his prompter on the top of the podium?

  • AlterNewt

    BBC is streaming this live. Everybody in the audience is sitting on the opposite side of the hall.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Limey bastards!

  • Veritas78

    If more capitalists were like this guy, I'd think better of capitalism.

  • Wadisay

    Tomorrow's Fox News headline today: Sandra Fluke Fails to Mention God in Speech.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      They'll say the nun didn't talk enough about Jesus, too.

  • gullywompr

    LIZ!

  • Callyson

    ELIZABETH!!!

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, what happened when Fluke was introduced to Clinton back stage?

    • CthuNHu

      "So, hey -"

      "No."

    • Oblios_Cap

      Have-A-Tampa?

  • miss_grundy

    Yo! Elizabeth Warren in the house!!!!!!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Liz! Have my children! I first heard her on Jon Stewart and was stunned at how much sense she made.

    • Terry

      Hopefully, the people of Massachusetts agree with you

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh yeah oh yeah! Elizabeth Warren, baby we KNOW who you are! I love you love you love you!!!

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Dude, like, what's on sale this week?

  • Negropolis

    Lizzie Warren!

  • Callyson

    First of many Democratic conventions for her, I hope…

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    The rioters are pleased with this… 'Warren'.

  • Oblios_Cap

    NOW we're talking. Liz!

  • ProgressiveInga

    "You ought to be starting something" ♫

    Elizabeth Warren rocks!

  • Terry

    What is Joe Biden doing? Introducing all the women in that section to one another?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Women require a strong patriarch to become properly acquainted.

    • IonaTrailer

      Joe luvves the ladies….

      • Terry

        The feeling is mutual

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Is he serving drinks? He was eating last night.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I like our stern school marm to theirs.

    • IonaTrailer

      She's HAWT

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Much better accent, also.

  • Callyson

    We're counting on you too, Massachusetts…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Honey, despite what you think, you're not the warmup act for Bill. That's happening backstage.

    • IonaTrailer

      FLUFFER libel!!!!

  • An_Outhouse

    Warren'Warren', Warren, Warren' better than Castro! Castro! Castro!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

  • Terry

    Michelle is chatting up the Castro twins

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      She knows a good man when she sees one … or two.

  • IonaTrailer

    YES! The game is rigged! There is no such thing as the "rugged individual" you Republican idiots.

    • Isyaignert

      Iona, sweetie, you are the smartest person in class today!

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    FOX seems to always cut away when ever there is a business person speaking. What does FOX have against business?

    • miss_grundy

      If the business isn't Republican, it isn't business….

  • TribecaMike

    How dare a political party invite political candidates to speak at their political convention!

  • Wadisay

    I'm betting Clinton comes out wearing shades.

    • Serfville

      Playing the sax!

      • viennawoods13

        I went into labour watching him play sax at his first inauguration ball.

    • Callyson

      Aaaand now I have ZZ Top going through my head…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mxkPyQuPBM

  • Callyson

    "I grew up in an America that invested in a strong middle class"

    That must have been a nice country…

  • TribecaMike

    Worcester! Yeah!

    • Barrelhse

      Whustah!

      • TribecaMike

        Nice of Liz to translate for the rest of the nation.

    • janicket

      But she didn't say nuffin about getting fried clams in Ipswich, so we hates her, Preciousssss, yes we do.

      (not)

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Go nice old lady!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    The SYSTEM IS RIGGED?!

  • BoroPrimorac

    How the fuck is Liz down by five points to that idiot Brown in Massachusetts?

    • janicket

      There are a lot of idiots in the Bay State, and besides, he drives a pickup truck, so you know he's a true friend of hard-working Americans.

      • Isyaignert

        Maybe she needz to poze in teh nudz like her did. Is that teh secret to sukkess?

  • IonaTrailer

    Tell it like it is Sistah!

  • Oblios_Cap

    "people feel the system is rigged against them."

    How could they possibly think that?

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Strut around with no shame! Yeah, we gots problems with those CEO's.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    She sounds a bit like Tracy Flick, no?

    "I spoke to Pedro Martinez, who is worried he won't be able to afford a hot lunch."

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Programmers? I used to be a programmer…

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Cay -Fucking -men Islands!!!! DRink.

  • Lucidamente1

    Cayman Island reference! Can I start fapping now?

    • Moniker Lewinsky

      I've been fapping since the Costco CEO took the stage… mmmmmmmm

  • Serfville

    Teddy Roosevelt badass!

  • Callyson

    "We just don't want the game to be rigged. We fought to level the playing field before"

    And dammit, we will do so again…

  • ProgressiveInga

    Sitting on the couch with my Elizabeth Warren t-shirt on from a donation I gave months ago. And I live in Georgia.

    True story.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I have her bumper sticker on my car … in Arizona.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Are your neighbors scared of you?

      • ProgressiveInga

        I live in a blue county in this really red state. I try not to leave the county too often, especially after sundown.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    What happened when Elizabeth Warren and Bill Clinton were introduced back stage?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      sparks flew, cigars were discussed, Bill complimented her blue dress suit.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Yer gawddamned right I gotta problem with that!

    (I like how she's breaking these traitorous assholes down – strutting around congress, demanding favors; only insanely privileged out-of-touch plutocrats keep their monies out of their own country of residence).

  • gullywompr

    GAME! IS! RIGGED!
    GAME! IS! RIGGED!
    GAME! IS! RIGGED! …

  • AlterNewt

    Well, this is as good a time as any to make my 1000th comment on Wonkette:

    BALLS!

    • gullywompr

      Excellent choice! Welcome to the next level, and keep an eye on your mailbox for your certification letter.

      • AlterNewt

        Hooray!

    • viennawoods13

      Geoff???

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Bring back cockney street urchins! Romney 2012!

  • Callyson

    The Dems are really pushing this "the economy grows from the middle class out and the bottom up" meme. Good to hear…

  • FakaktaSouth

    "Mitt Romney, huh." The way Mme Warren just said his name should be the ONLY way anyone EVER says it. Derision is so hot sometimes.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Zip! Zap! Zop! Sounds like that Romney/Ryans got some type of space age phaser laser.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Alliteration R Us

  • rocktonsam

    Did I miss Tammy Baldwin?

    Tommy Thompson is kicking her ass right now?

  • Negropolis

    Preach it, sistah!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    For the most part, things have been solid and tight.

    The Republicans totally fucked up their convention with Crazy Ole Clint and his wonder chair. Not to mention their stupid "we built it" neener-neener taunt.

  • Terry

    "I got mine, the rest of you are on your own". Yep, that captures it.

    • IonaTrailer

      Because she couldn't say "the rest of you, go fuck yerself"

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Romney : OWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY BALLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    • CthuNHu

      Ryan: Sorry, sir. I'll be gentler.

  • Callyson

    They believe in government to help themselves and their powerful friends

    WARREN 2016!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    And Elvis is coming out AFTER THIS??? Romney and Ryan better put on helmets.

    • IonaTrailer

      And cups – 'cause they're about to get kicked in the ding-ding.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Baby blue colored helmets! (sorry, got all Dukakis-ed up earlier)

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Is there some easy way to refresh this page without having to start at the beginning? I can't efficiently fap to Warren and navigate at the same time.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Just go back to previous page and return.

    • Chichikovovich

      Refresh in the usual way, and then press "Recent Activity" at the top. That will show you the most recent posts.

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Corporations are taking a shiv from Liz.

  • Negropolis

    Shit just got real!

  • gullywompr

    YEAH! PEOPLE are people!!

  • TribecaMike

    She went off on a Khalil Gibran tangent there for a sec.

  • Serfville

    Corporations ARE NOT PEOPLE……..They need to run that shit in an Obama ad over and over again.

  • Callyson

    Jesus, I was typing praise for something else she said and had to stop to hear her eloquent words on why corporations are fucking well NOT people.

    I bow to perfection.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Damn! Who knew that the Dems actually really believe in the American Dream?

    Best convention I've viewed and I've seen quite a few.

    • ProgressiveInga

      You have a point, Oblio!

      • Oblios_Cap

        And it's not even 2/3 of the way done.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Elizabeth Warren has seen Rush Limbaugh naked?

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I think she can still see, so no.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Surely not, she's still alive.

  • Negropolis

    People live, they dance, they die….

    God, that was a good line.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Incredibly good. She is incredibly good.

      • Terry

        I want to see the beautiful grandkids, only because I'm a broody old broad.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Oooo… Secksy….

  • BarackMyWorld

    To go along with the theme of Prof. Warren's speech, this is a must read: http://www.amazon.com/Free-Lunch-Wealthiest-Thems

  • TribecaMike

    This "middle class" sounds pretty cool. What bus do I take to get there?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Bet Barack gets a bounce from this convention.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh she's good.

  • MissNancyPriss

    Even Elizabeth's glasses are better than Sarah's.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Corps r not people.

    That was BIG!!!

    Shoulda ended there.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Equal pay for equal work? What's next, no sammishes?

  • OurHoboSenator

    I want to move to Massachusetts and gay marry Elizabeth Warren.

  • IonaTrailer

    Sign Al Franken's petition to get rid of Citizens United – and tell your friends

  • gullywompr

    Dayum! We can decommission our entire nuclear arsenal now, we got Liz!

  • Callyson

    "no one can steal your purse on Main Street or your wallet on Wall Street-"

    Oh fuck, I give up, I can't type quickly enough to praise all of the spot on quotes from this woman.

    Dear GOD, please please please make this woman Senator…

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Oh man here comes scripture…. BOOOOO!!!!!! BOOOOOOO!!!!!

    • Negropolis

      Just because something in the Bible doesn't make it bad. I say that as a person with an allegiance to no religion. I don't care if it's the Bible or Star Wars; a good quote is a good quote.

      • Moniker Lewinsky

        I was referencing the Vilagarosa 2/3 "boo!" debacle from earlier today. JUST TRYING TO BRING SOME LEVITY TO THE HORROR, HOMEBOY!

        • Negropolis

          Lol! My bad. I missed that.

  • Biff

    Mathew 25:40? OFFS!

    • littlebigdaddy

      I'm getting athletic eyeshades with that.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    MITT ROMNEY ALSO LOVES WOMEN! BLEEP BLEEP BLORK!

  • Serfville

    Give them their BS back to them Liz! Holy Rollers are UNHOLY

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Oh, she's quoting scripture as a Baptist!!! Take that, Republicans!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Liberal AND knows the Bible. Wingnuts heads explore.

    • RedStatePinko

      Matthew stomps Leviticus, then offers him a beer.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I feel like I just watched an outtake from It's a Wonderful Life — would've been a much better movie with that scene left in, too.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Oh, Christ. Warren just invoked Christ. The GOP is going to sue for copyright infringement.

  • IonaTrailer

    ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?????

  • Callyson

    Damn right I'm ready to answer this call, sister!

  • Lucidamente1

    Elizabeth Warren quoting Ted Kennedy. This is better than porn.

  • vodkamuppet

    How dare she invoke Ted Kennedy for political gain!

  • iTuna

    Boom, Bible. Liz is killing it up there.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      She isn't shy, is she?

  • Serfville

    Everything about this convention is sooo much better than that stanky empty chair low rent Rethug convention.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You didn't like that "music"?

    • An_Outhouse

      i keep thinking of that evil bitch nicky haley and fat thug christie. quite a contrast.

  • Negropolis

    This is a future president. I just saw the future president of the United States.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      I hope you're right.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Build it together motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • SpeedoFart

    Why the fuck didn't Rahm Emmanuel sucker punch David Brooks when he had the chance?

  • TribecaMike

    C-span is the only way to watch this. No interruptions.

  • IonaTrailer

    Oh geez. it's Anthony.

    Sorry LA, but I'll be glad when he's gone.

    • MissNancyPriss

      They need to keep the microphones away from that man.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      I live in LA and I say don't let the door of City Hall hit you in the ass on the way out.

      • IonaTrailer

        We've GOT to organize a Wonkette meet-up!

    • Callyson

      Holla from another resident of the City of Angels who looks forward to a new Mayor…

  • Oblios_Cap

    Big Dog in da house!

    • Oblios_Cap

      And I'm not a big fan, either.

    • miss_grundy

      Yeah, baby! Big Dog is gonna sink his teeth into Romney!

  • Serfville

    Hollywood Bill gets a movie!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh man I miss 1994. I was 22. So, you know, don't stop believing…

    • Crank_Tango

      Hmm, that was Journey.

      • FakaktaSouth

        HEY! I am in the throes of passion. I can fuck up any Fleetwood Mac song on a good day, much less now. WOOOO Don't you get back, get back, get back to where you once belong…whatever. I SAID I was a dork.

    • AncienReggie

      And you are so much better looking now. Character and experience add so much beauty.

  • OurHoboSenator

    Fleetwood Mac. LOL.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      He played this at his convention, in a huge break with the traditional Dem "Happy Days Are Here Again."

      • OurHoboSenator

        I remember the media making a huge deal about how using that song as a theme showed that Clinton was all young and hip and cool. Which amused me, in proper 19-year-old GenX ironic fashion.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • L. Jonte

    My girl-crush on Elizabeth Warren is so massive it can probably be seen form space.

  • Terry

    I love Bill Clinton. Wouldn't marry him, but I'd vote for him at any opportunity.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      On 9/11 all I could think of was, why aren't we hearing from the President? And I wasn't thinking of Dubya.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Hey, Rmoney: Who let The Dog out?? Who, who, who?

    • Negropolis

      "Won't someone put him back in?! For the love of god don't let him loose!"

  • Veritas78

    Well, we haven't yet seen that Elizabeth here in Massachusetts, and she had better start bringing that game here pretty quick.

    • Serfville

      I didn't know she was losing in the polls, that is sad

    • Callyson

      Send her and her people to Gillette Stadium, stat…

  • TribecaMike

    Bill Clinton — the man I hate to love.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Bring on the Big Dog!

    • IonaTrailer

      "He's a tough dog to keep on the porch…"

  • IonaTrailer

    Remember that great line from Sid and Nancy? "I look like fucking Stevie Nicks"

    • TribecaMike

      Chloe Webb was so good (and cute) in that movie.

  • Callyson

    Bill Clinton in da house!

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    And suddenly, across the universe, billions of panties became moist.

  • Chichikovovich

    They just opened a Costco close to where we live. I believe they will receive much of my custom in the coming months.

    • bobbert

      You have to watch out for the gadgets. They're so damn cheap, it's easy to forget you don't actually need one, ever.

      • Chichikovovich

        If I didn't have gadgets that 5 seconds of reflection would tell me I don't need, what would I keep in the garage?—

        • snackypants

          I use my garage to store all the surplus liquor and cheese I buy at Costco. We blow at least half our budget there on wine.

      • sullivanst

        That's OK, Costco has a good return policy.

        I know this, because an ex-coworker used to make heavy use of it to "try before you buy".

  • rocktonsam

    he is so fucking cool

    SUCK IT KEN STARR

    • slamtundra

      HELL yes…that's right!

  • Biff

    BIG DOG!!!11!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Here comes the Fleetwood Mack Daddy.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    …aaaaaaaaaaand Bubba pops his first boner of the night…

  • Wadisay

    Clinton! Mass ovulation!!

  • AlterNewt

    Oh, this fucking song.

  • Lucidamente1

    Mitt Romney, I feel your pain.

  • saggyboobedhag

    The phone sex announcer mispronounced his name. There's no "t" in Clih-in.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Of all the possible Fleetwood Mac songs, why did he have to choose the one that they did the least cocaine on.

    He really should have gone with Tusk.

  • sudsmckenzie

    I was expecting a White Eagle Jumpsuit!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That would have been great.

  • Negropolis

    Release the Clinton!

  • Zango Crudmonger

    I'm inhaling. Right. Now.

  • obfuscator2

    is he talking about himself?

    • OurHoboSenator

      Please let this be a precursor to Clinton declaring himself Dictator for Life

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Hey look — isn't that the guy who balanced the budget, passed welfare reform and brought peace to Yugoslavia and Northern Ireland, and who Al Gore wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole? Welcome back, Bill!

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      And left a surplus for the Republicans to piss away…

    • C_R_Eature

      Thank God our long nightmare of Peace and Prosperity ended in 2000.

      Yes, that Onion article is still relevant. Yes, it still hurts.

    • mayor_quimby

      Never heard of him, sounds like a pretty good campaign asset. It'd be a shame to just ignore a dude like that if you wanted to be president.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Bill Clinton was my first time. (to vote, but I'da been his intern in a heartbeat) You never forget your first. And I will love him forever.

    • Boojum

      Honey, the world would have understood completely if it had been you instead of Monica. And he wouldn't have lied; he'd have bragged.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      My mom met him, spoke to him, shook his hand and stared into his dreamy blue eyes.
      The first thing she said was: "I'd do him!"

  • Oblios_Cap

    Bill Clinton's gonna nominate me?

    Oh, wait.

  • iTuna

    CHRIST, what a charming motherfucker.

    • bikerlaureate

      Ridiculously charismatic.

  • magic_titty

    That is just such a bad song. Fuck me.

  • IonaTrailer

    OH BABY. you know what I like – cool on the outside but burning on the inside.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Cool on the outside…burns on the inside…

    Barry's the McDLT?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    And speaking of burning for America — click — shhhhhhhhhhffffffff.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    damn you old delightful rogue.

  • Terry

    Bill took a lot of speaking tips from old Southern preachers

  • PuckStopsHere

    3 mins in and you can already tell that this is going to be a great fucking speech. I love President Clinton.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Great Michelle line!

  • Negropolis

    Eat it up, Michelle. Soak it all in.

  • Callyson

    LOVE Michelle's smile over BC's comment that he wants a president that had the good sense to marry her…

    • Pat_Pending

      still… AWK-ward!!!

  • AlterNewt

    He didn't just say that.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    The Bubba Card is PLAYED!

    Bitches.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Smile beautiful black woman.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    here comes the attack dog.

  • C_R_Eature

    Ok, now…this is how one conducts a Presidential Nominating Convention.

    I'm not sure what those people were doing last week.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      My Mom just said to me, "This doesn't look a THING like that convention last week."

  • Serfville

    What parallel universe are we living in that Big Dawg is a Vegan. (See pics in the beginning of this thread)

  • Terry

    The GOP alternate universe. Hallelujah, Bill!

  • IonaTrailer

    Bill Clinton has the most beautiful hands.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    We're all in this together is a far better philosophy than you're on your own. Word.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    facts. how do they work?

  • Callyson

    "We're all in this together" is a far better philosophy than "You're on your own"

    Ah yeah…

  • Negropolis

    Ooooo, numbers! Tasty!

  • Serfville

    What a coincedence I AM living in a log cabin I built myself.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Go Galt!

  • Terry

    We're all in this together is a far better philosophy than you're all on your own.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Wow. The republicans were right. Clinton's really stabbing him in the back.

    Or not.

    • viennawoods13

      Barry's holding Hillary hostage!!

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Some motherfucking knowledge getting dropped right now. It's like a clinic on disemboweling the GOP.

  • gullywompr

    Numbers have a liberal bias.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Chimpy is probably now in the fetal position. Choking on Cheetos.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      At least he finally heard his name.

  • TribecaMike

    And now, 5 minutes on probability theory.

    • Serfville

      Rhodes Scholar!

      • TribecaMike

        Oh yeah, right.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Yep — Republicans are bad for the economy, bad for education, bad for equal rights, bad for entrepreneurs — you name it.

    • magic_titty

      Good for making fun of?

  • Serfville

    THE MASTER

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh no!
    Employment facts!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Oh no!
      Employment facts!

      Fixed.

  • C_R_Eature

    Cry Havoc! And Loose The Big Dog.

  • Callyson

    GOOD one on how BC never hated the Reeps the way their wingnuts hate on Obama.

  • vodkamuppet

    Statistics have a liberal bias now too?

  • gullywompr

    Oooooo…. accusing them of hate! Nice…

  • rocktonsam

    C-SPAN JUST SHOWED Chelsey. she is so cool too.

    fuck you Mush

    • gullywompr

      Nice posse, also too.

      • Boojum

        I totally misread that.

  • Crank_Tango

    I just can't quit you Bubba.

  • obfuscator2

    i never realized how much i missed this charming old bastard.

  • Pat_Pending

    The Big Dog is aging beautifully. I still remember Letterman putting up pix of Bill jogging and commenting on his pasty white thighs…

  • Negropolis

    Here it comes, here it comes…

    • Crank_Tango

      push the keyboard out of the way!!!

  • IonaTrailer

    *WE* play fair and share. *THEY* just want to be dicks.

  • Callyson

    Now, I am loving this: Clinton's going on about how he works with Dems, Reeps, and Independents is a nice contrast to the Party of No…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "I could never hate them the way the far right seems to hate our president."

    Hell, Assity on the radio this evening was summarizing for his loyal listeners (who would never check it out themselves) yesterday's convention speakers as divisive and hateful.

  • TribecaMike

    Psst, Bill, we don't talk about Haiti anymore, just like we didn't before.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Bill totally has a thing about Haiti. It's his fave foreign country.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    George W. Bush just got mentioned more in a positive light at the Democratic Convention than at the Republican Convention.

  • Terry

    Bill, love you lots and lots.

  • gullywompr

    He's beating a dead horse. They will never cooperate. Fire them.

  • BarackMyWorld

    butt nObama iz to radicul to compromise

  • FakaktaSouth

    Man I like the way Bill talks. I know, I know, but good lord, l just love it. He's a fantastic public speaker. He's gonna wear me out.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Big Dog walks at eleven o'clock…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    they did check their brains at the door tho.

  • Wadisay

    Shit-piss, there's Rahm Emanuel!

    • MissNancyPriss

      He's littler than the kids.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Bill Clinton has more energy than I ever will. Is it the blow jobs? It's probably the blow jobs.

  • IonaTrailer

    This is a brilliant speech. Historical.

  • Limeylizzie

    I would do him in a heartbeat, many times a night and wake him in the morning by brushing my large breasts against his lips. Just saying.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I know a guy that went to dinner with him and when the lady they were eating with took her jacket off exposing a major league pair of yah-bos, Bill smacked my friend under the table on the leg. My friend's so proud, he still talks about "the tits he shared with Bill Clinton" I think Bill (and probably most straight guys in the world) would be very pleased with your wake up call.

      • Limeylizzie

        What a great story! I love Bill Clinton so much, a man who does not have an unexpressed emotion.

  • TribecaMike

    Sorry, Bill, the GOP has been full of shit since US Grant left office.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    I'd follow this magnificent statesman to the gates of hell. Clinton is such a fucking alpha.

  • Negropolis

    Bill's not giving us what we want, right now, but he's giving us what we need.

    • Serfville

      THE BATMAN!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "One of the reasons we should re-elect President Obama is that he is still committed to constructive cooperation."

    Even if he has to do it all by himself.

  • Callyson

    Good–I am glad Bill Clinton is spelling out in some detail just how rigid the Reeps have become. I know too many otherwise intelligent people who think that we have gridlock in Washington because "both parties refuse to cooperate." Sick of hearing that crap…

  • sudsmckenzie

    I'm Totally going to tip my waitress after this.

    • Crank_Tango

      Give her just the tip, for bill.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Oh, Joe, stand up, you old loon.

  • gullywompr

    Old handsome Joe FTW!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    as if i couldn't love this any more: bill's giving love to our joey!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Aw, Joe Biden's a nut. And he knows he's in the presence of greatness too.

  • Serfville

    Gaffey Joe! Bwaaaaaaaaaa! Even his laffs are gaffey!

  • Terry

    I support constructive cooperation, but once in a while I'd like to see Obama put a boot up Boehner's arse.

  • Callyson

    "Heck, he even appointed Hillary!"

    Bill, you've still got it…

  • anniegetyerfun

    Oh, I just climaxed at the line about appointing Hillary.

  • Negropolis

    That's right, get your girl in, Bill.

  • rocktonsam

    HILLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

  • Oblios_Cap

    President O'Biden?

    • bibliotequetress

      Aw, I thought that was cute. Kinda drunky.

    • saggyboobedhag

      That's what Palin kept calling him in her debate prep! That's why she said "can I call you Joe?"

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    michelle looks fetching. though i'm sure many of you have noted that already.

    • ProgressiveInga

      With votes!

  • IonaTrailer

    No more blood sports. Wonder how the right-wing media will respond tomorrow.

    • Terry

      With blood sports, of course.

  • Terry

    Chelsea looks nice. Her success and happiness are a big F you to the people who smeared her parents

    • C_R_Eature

      And her. When she was just a child.

      Scumbags.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Oh, Clinton mentioned the troops — that's blatant partisanship now that Romney didn't seem to think they existed during his speech.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Clinton is the nuclear option.

  • PlanetWingNut

    MONEY QUOTE FOR THE PUMAS: HE EVEN APPOINTED HILARY!

  • magic_titty

    Why is he pretending Republicans aren't assholes? Republicans are assholes.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      He's trying to get some of those assholes to vote Dem on Nov. 6th. He's like Obi Wan saying "Those are not the droids you're looking for", or whatever he says.

      • MosesInvests

        Well, Jedi mind tricks *do* work on the weak-minded.

  • Callyson

    From the DCCC, in case anyone here doesn't get their numerous e-mails:

    STAND WITH PRESIDENT OBAMA
    Sign your name to say you stand with President Obama.
    We’re trying to reach 100,000 strong backing up the President before the convention ends

    http://www.dccc.org/pages/stand-with-obama?source

  • DahBoner

    We're better off now than we were four years ago, because now we have edible race cars:
    http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/comple

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Ol' Sweet Cheeks herself on Twitter is saying that Bill is extemporizing quite a bit of this speech. He's definitely better at it than Clint Eastwood.

  • Callyson

    "Their number one priority was not to put America back to work, but to put the President out of work"

    Boo – yeah!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i want him to mention four more years will make the wingnuts' heads asplode.

  • C_R_Eature

    "We're gonna keep President Obama On. The. Job."

    WOOOOOOOOO!!!

  • Serfville

    I think this will turn into the keynote in '88 where Clinton never shuts up, except Big Dawg won't get booed off the stage this time!

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I have a feeling Clinton likes this better than sex.

    • Veritas78

      For Clinton, this is sex. The rest is just a pale approximation.

    • tessiee

      I don't know; he seems to like sex quite a lot.

  • AlterNewt

    CLINTON! CLINTON! CLINTON!

    Ooops.

    OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Did y'all watch their convention? I did. AND I am STILL SO CONFUSED.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    So many blah people in the audience…. where's the representation for old rich whites?

    • Terry

      The Costco guy probably has a few coins to rub together

      • Moniker Lewinsky

        Wait… that wasn't Tyler Perry?

    • rocktonsam

      THE COSTCO GUY JUST LEFT

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "We left him a total mess. He didn't clean it up fast enough, so fire him and put us back in." That's the GOP strategy to a tee.

    • Veritas78

      Shoulda said this twice. Should play this in ads on an endless loop until November 6th.

  • IonaTrailer

    BINGO – Bill Clinton gets the "in a nutshell" prize.

    • Serfville

      "In a nutshell, Joe Biden"…..

  • littlebigdaddy

    I have a friend who is a delegate and I understand that there is lots of free beer. This explains the smile on Biden's face.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      I was wondering if one of the guys in the expensive seats was downing a brew.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Fact Check: Clinton does not think they are honorable men.

  • obfuscator2

    this is perfectly crafted for undecideds/independents. he's spelling out exactly how barry bent over backwards(or forwards) for the house republican caucus for 4 fucking years and they did nothing but fuck him over and over and over. he's targeting swing voters in ohio, florida, pennsylvania and indiana who might actually still have open minds.

  • Serfville

    Oh puleaze, make an empty chair joke!

  • Oblios_Cap

    It's good to see somebody call the GOP out. Even if it is a decent GOP ex-prez.

  • saggyboobedhag

    "Pesky government regulations." He's got his gay on.

  • Callyson

    "There they go again"

    OH YEAH!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    That was the Reagan reach around.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Shit, Clinton just did a Reagan call out. I think the heads of most of the people at NRO and FOX News just exploded in rage at a Socialist quoting St. Ronnie.

    • anniegetyerfun

      You know Bill want counting on them pretty much dying of spittle loss.

  • Lucidamente1

    "There they go again." Oh Bill, I love it when you use their catch phrases against them.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Killin it Bill

  • iTuna

    Goddammit, why doesn't Bill Clinton host a late-night talk show?

  • Callyson

    "Are we better off now than we were when he took office?"

    YES!!!

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    WHOA WHOA WHOA ALL THESE NUMBERS… GDP?! SLOW DOWN WILLIE.

  • obfuscator2

    "there they go again… "

    that was the sound of william jefferson clinton dropping his fucking nutsack on the face of every house republican. THAT'S how you teabag someone.

  • saggyboobedhag

    THe challenge Obama faces is the same as yours? Interns want to give him bjs?

  • AlterNewt

    Audience, quit yelling out answers to rhetorical questions!

  • C_R_Eature

    "There They Go Again". Center Shot.

    That was nice, Bill.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    The most amazing thing about the "are you better off now" argument is that Ryan and the others put that out right before the convention — it was like tossing the Democrats a high lob. The GOP were just too damn dumb to notice that reality is not what they think it is.

    • BoroPrimorac

      Obama has been blessed with an opposition which consistently fucks up.

  • IonaTrailer

    People are like praying to Mr. Bill.

  • Serfville

    It's all about Bill! Bwaaaaaaaaaaa!

  • gullywompr

    I love an ex-president who can say whatever the fuck he wants, especially when it's the truth.

  • Callyson

    NICE reminder that things were not looking so rosy in 1994 – 1995, but then 1996 came along and the boom got under way…

  • Negropolis

    I love how the crowd hangs on his EVERY word. Amazing. No one else could do that. No one.

    • RedStatePinko

      Except, I don't know, maybe, what's his name, Boron Obomo, no wait, it'll come to me, somebody who has the podium tomorrow. I hear he's a pretty good speaker.

      • bobbert

        Oh, yeah, that guy. Well, he should be pretty warmed up.

      • Negropolis

        Of all Obama's rhetorical skills, commanding a crowd to control its applause hasn't been one of them. He has talents Clinton doesn't , and Clinton has talents he does't.

        • MissNancyPriss

          Precisely.

        • RedStatePinko

          Good point. Someone once said (I'm paraphrasing poorly) that Clinton absorbs all the attention while Obama REFLECTS the attention. Here's hoping his "It's not about me, it's about you" puts the complementary icing on the cake tomorrow and fires up the troops to another level.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Bill kills!

  • Oblios_Cap

    "Listen to me now". Preach it, brother.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Haha he's doing that finger wagging thing. That I didn't not blah blah blah thing. They should tell him not to do that, it's like his tell.
    But I like "YOU WILL FEEL IT" from Bill. I think he knows what he is talking about.

  • Wadisay

    Bill Clinton thinks back on 1994, 1995. He pauses. A whistful look comes to his eye.

    • Negropolis

      Amazing, wasn't it? It's like a mighty bridge of history being built, and we get front row seats.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Fact Check: God could have solved the economy in just four years. And God is a Republican. Verdict: Clinton lied.

    Source: NRO.

  • OurHoboSenator

    The real Bill Clinton is so much better than the fake Clinton on that awful Political Animals show.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    truth, facts, reality check.

    and passion – and snark – to boot.

    suck it again republicans.

  • Serfville

    "You will feel it, each & everyone of you will feel it" Big Dawg will personally come around to each and everyone of you & personally feel your pain. Ladies!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "No president could ever repair the damage that [Obama] found in just four years."

    That was the GOP strategy right there — make it so hard to fix that the next guy gets thrown out for not succeeding at it. I'm soooo glad he's pointing this out.

    • bikerlaureate

      They definitely scorched all the earth they could in mid-'08.
      The inaction, at points, led to no other conclusion.

  • Callyson

    "…say this again–cut taxes for 95% of the American people"

    Say it over and over again, actually…

  • PlanetWingNut

    I WANNA GAY marry Bill

  • Callyson

    "Congressional Republicans: ZERO."

    Indeed…

  • gullywompr

    Zeeeeee-ro!

    • Terry

      His little Southern twang is like whipped cream on the zero sundae

  • BarackMyWorld

    Someone needs to say this…yes, the economy Obama inherited was terribly weak. It wasn't just Republican policies that made it that way. Remember who signed repeal of the Glass–Steagall Act?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Among other crap signings. NAFTA, welfare "reform". Not his finest moment.

      Blow jobs didn't bother me.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      someone has needed to say this since 2008 and i don't know why we haven't.

    • Negropolis

      Two words: veto override.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      True that. Nevertheless, he wouldn't have approved of the relentless gutting of regulatory authority that happened under Dubya and the Republicans, who made things much much worse.

    • saggyboobedhag

      That's why he's not my hero. Of course, perhaps someone was holding Chelsea hostage somewhere . . . hmmmm.

    • obfuscator2

      in 1999, he also signed off on legislation(authored by phil gramm, attached to an appropriations bill right before the christmas recess) that deregulated the credit default swap market. awesome idea.

      • BarackMyWorld

        One thing to his credit, he has been self-critical and admitted his mistake.

        • obfuscator2

          also to his credit: that was back in the heady days of people having jobs. anyone who suggested that all these wonderful financial instruments should be subject to some oversight was generally regarded as a chicken little. wall street's argument was literally "we shouldn't be subject to regulation because we're so smart we don't need it. trust us."

  • under_score

    Eight more years!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    "Republicans …………….ZERO."

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    I wish someone would point out that jobs would have recovered if the Repubs wouldn't keep starving the public sector. Why does no one ever talk about public sector jobs. This makes me mad, and not just because I'm tired of standing in line at the Post Office.

    • Callyson

      I've learned that I need to bring the equivalent of "War and Peace" with me any time I go to the DMV.

  • Lucidamente1

    At this point, the Big Dog is essentially bitch slapping the entire GOP.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      shame that.

    • tessiee

      With his penis.

      • Boojum

        That's not a slap; it's a bludgeon.

  • NellCote71

    It may have been said. But I will say it again. Funny how the Dems have no problem trotting out their former presidents. Not so much the Repugs.

    • iTuna

      The one they like is dead.

  • magic_titty

    Shared Prosperity = SOSHULIZMZ

  • vodkamuppet

    Damn right. Even Toyota supported it.

  • Pat_Pending

    Hey! I got deleted! Was it cuz I said 'hard on'?

    • Biff

      Congrats, one of us!

      • Pat_Pending

        gabba-goo! gabba-goo! one of us! one of us!

    • Veritas78

      Just don't include Malkin and ping pong in the same comment. Let's test it out now!

      • Pat_Pending

        That's just… diiiiirrrrty…and yet, I'm sure that's how she gotthrough junior college.

  • just_a_head

    I love this man. I even own a blue dress. Hmmm.

    • IonaTrailer

      Get in line, girlfriend.

      hahahahahahaha

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Great, now Clinton is using facts. How can the Republicans be expected to compete with reality?

  • Callyson

    "250K more people working in the auto industry now than on the day it was restructured…are you listening in Michigan and Ohio?"

    Listen up, swing states…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He made that clear, didn't he?!

    • Negropolis

      Michigan ain't a swing state. It hasn't voted Republican since Bush the Elder, but damn if Republican pollsters aren't trying to engineer an outcome on paper. lol

  • BarackMyWorld

    This needs to end with a shot at Romney's record on the auto bail-out.

  • TribecaMike

    I don't drive. Can I convert that into Klondike bars?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Tweet of the night from Charlie Pierce: "Bill Clinton just said there was something another president did that he couldn't have done. Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join ya, honey."

  • IonaTrailer

    A 20 year low in oil imports!!! Who know?

    • TribecaMike

      Nobody, since the media doesn't talk about it.

  • Lucidamente1

    Ok, but how many 2:55 marathons has Clinton run?

    • just_a_head

      The same number as Ryan!

  • Biff

    I've heard the DNC put condoms in tonight's swag bags, just like at the Olympics. Any truth to this rumor I'm starting?

    • ProgressiveInga

      I heard it on the internet, so it is true!

    • iTuna

      I've seen two separate people saying so. Must be true.

    • Crank_Tango

      Obama never denied it!

    • Biff

      You guys did not disappoint!

  • Oblios_Cap

    We could use a policy wonk like Billy Clinton again…

    • Pat_Pending

      Policy wank?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Whatever crunks yer tractor…

    • Biff

      Gee our old La Salle ran great…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    and go ahead fact checkers: fact check away.

  • sudsmckenzie

    God I hope he gets laid tonight.

    • Serfville

      Uh oh isn't Hillz in China?

      • TribecaMike

        Perfect timing, sez Bill.

    • ProgressiveInga

      With votes?

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    I take solace in the fact that right now, all across the country, Republican heads are exploding from Clinton's (legitimate) oratorical rape.

  • IonaTrailer

    (sob) I'm still paying on my student loans.

    • Callyson

      Me too–I feel your pain.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Take heart, the Big Dog feels your pain.

    • just_a_head

      Me, too. 15 years out of college, and still payin!

      • Oblios_Cap

        I'm 53 and still owe over $20K.

  • Pat_Pending

    What I was trying to say when I got deleted was, I suspect that Mittens has not had conjugal relations with his 'south of the border' since #5 got pre-conceived.

  • PlanetWingNut

    Clinton – Infinity….Clint Eastwood – – 0

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Glad Bill brought his A game. Let's not forget he can suck when he doesn't care. I figure from what most people will see (the 10 o'clock hour) the Dems are up 2 to 0 with Obama going for the close.

  • Callyson

    "That brings me to health care"

    Bring it!

  • TribecaMike

    Now I get why they had to move Barney Frank to tomorrow.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I'll stay up past my bedtime again tomorrow for that, too.

  • Serfville

    1988 all over again! Ha Ha Ha! Keep going dawg!

    • Negropolis

      This time, he's earned it, and he'll be loved for it.

    • Pat_Pending

      Remember Bill on Johnny Carson?

      Carson:"How you doing, Governor?" <Pulls out hourglass and puts it on the desk>

      • Serfville

        Great & funny moment. Bill had the Mo

  • Oblios_Cap

    Damn, he's good. I'm a Socialist and I'll vote for O'Biden after this speech.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Listen to this commie, trying to take money out of the pockets of hardworking bankers and give to those lazy, pot-smoking students. Why, those students don't even have jobs!

  • Terry

    Big Dog reclaims ObamaCare back from the wingnuts!

  • C_R_Eature

    Bill's just carpet-bombed the entire Republican Party and he's just now getting to healthcare!

    WE're approaching an extinction-level event, here. With FACTS!

    • Terry

      Honey badger just conceded his crown to Bill

      • Zango Crudmonger

        Honey badger doesn't concede a fuck. But when he does, he concedes will Bill-sexys.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    All these young people on the floor. I saw about as many of them at the GOP convention as Mitt Romney mentioned the troops.

  • AlterNewt

    Nov.5 2012. The day we launch our dastardly scheme to push Obama further left. Further left. Bwahahahahaha. Bwahahahahahaha….! (cough, cough) Ahem…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  • Serfville

    Big Dawg looks great! Vegan & BJ's. I'll have what he's having.

    • IonaTrailer

      Dude, you got a picture of my brother-in-law as your avatar.

      • Serfville

        Are you kiddin"? Tell me more!

        • IonaTrailer

          My sis married Andy.

  • Callyson

    "Are we better off because the president fought for health care reform?"

    FINALLY! So damn good to hear Democrats *embrace* Obamacare instead of running away from it…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    are we past time? i think we are past time.

    • C_R_Eature

      We're dealing with Bill Clinton here. I think they knew, going in, that he'd Go Long.

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    My god. He's like the Helio Gracie of politics.

  • IonaTrailer

    Why can't Obama explain this shit like Bill is?????

    • Serfville

      I know, I think that's why Obama changed his mind and will be sitting there tonight. Bill Clinton is just the jedi master. No one can beat Clinton at this game.

  • Wadisay

    Bill Clinton, the Lion in Winter. Now, he has to chew his own lip.

  • AlterNewt

    Nobody is going to tell BC that tempest is fugiting.

    • RedStatePinko

      Heh heh. Almost said fuggiting.

    • gullywompr

      Forget it, he's rolling.

      • AlterNewt

        I know. He's vamping.

  • Callyson

    "I didn't know whether to laugh or cry"

    I've felt that way throughout this whole damn election…

  • C_R_Eature

    Look, everyone! The last Democratic President is up onstage. On Teevee! and he's Awesome!

    Hey, there, Republicans…Where's your Last President?

    • IonaTrailer

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      At home cutting brush?

      • sudsmckenzie

        Picking up Barneys poop in the cul-de-sac.

    • Terry

      Not on a secret ranch in Paraguay, where he should be.

      • C_R_Eature

        Not on a secret ranch in Paraguay defendant's bench in The Hague, where he should be.

        FIFY

    • PlanetWingNut

      in the cave with Cheney/ LOL

    • BerkeleyBear

      Eating souffle, like he was when he got the call from Bamz about whacking OBL.

    • bikerlaureate

      Oh, c'mon, are you still pretending that 2001-2009 has any impact on our situation today? Or on the deficit?
      Sheesh.

    • tessiee

      Somewhere beyond the reach of extradition.

  • Crank_Tango

    It takes some brass. I want that bumper sticker.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      "Ass, Gas, or Brass – Nobody Rides For Free"

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Brass would be getting a free ride.

  • saggyboobedhag

    "Brass" is one way to put it.

  • magic_titty

    At home, watching the DNC

    "Hmmm…my ghoulish charms seem to be wearing off…"

    – Paul Ryan

  • Terry

    It takes some brass to attack a guy for what you just did. LMFAO

    • Veritas78

      How to cut the nuts off an up-and-coming 42-year-old asshole. Now, a nutless asshole.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    You know, Clinton told Brian Williams this afternoon, "It's true Obama and I aren't friends. But I'm behind him 100%." I'd hate to see what he'd do for someone he LIKED. Napalm love?

    • Biff

      With enemies like that, who needs friends?

  • subsum

    There goes Bubba talking about specifics, scores, statistics and wonkish stuff to actually show, with facts, that we're indeed better off than in 2008 as only he can do it. Oh, and–by the way–the Chelz is looking good.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    God Clinton is loving this. And he is making the case so well. The Right is going to spend the next three days whining about his speech.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I hope it's the next three YEARS.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Sadly, their hatred of the Kenyan Socialist Muslim will quickly override their hatred for Bubba.

  • IonaTrailer

    School 'em Bill!

  • Oblios_Cap

    I regulate insurance fucking companies. They are crooked bastards and I hate them.

    • subsum

      I'll buy you a beer if you ever come to Austin.

      • Oblios_Cap

        College towns rock!

  • Negropolis

    Shorter Bill for going over time: Fuck! We'll do it live!

  • TribecaMike
  • FakaktaSouth

    He's just winging it, ain't he? "Y'all listen, this is important" Like Clint Eastwood did, but without being crazy, racist, wrong and cringey. I Love This.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      this is pure vintage bill – but the cause is so good and so important it's really working.

      • AlterNewt

        Yes, he's vamping.

  • PlanetWingNut

    Bill just slayed Ryan, Eastwood and Chuck Norris.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Sorry can't comment — this guy's saying some good shit.

  • PlanetWingNut

    will the woman saying "noooooooooooooooo" shut up

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Bill is killing this.

    He's skullwhatevering with facts.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Here he is, feeling our pain. No one does it better.

    • CthuNHu

      Hey! That's not my pain! #slap#

  • TribecaMike

    "11:00 We suddenly remember when the term 'policy wonk' entered the national vocabulary." You're on a roll, Doktor Zoom!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    "It takes some brass to attack a guy for doing something you did."

    Cue Paul Ryan whinging about his hurt feelings in 3…2…1…

  • anniegetyerfun

    Oh, that was a good moment with the "I don't know what they're gonna do." Excellent emoting, Bill – SO much better than Ryan's fake tears.

  • C_R_Eature

    CSPAN has all these events video archived, available for streaming view. Sans commercial and/or Windbag interruption.
    I for one will be watching most of this again. For fun.

    I haven't wanted to do that for years now.

  • gullywompr

    Fox is so going to immediately sign off after this speech.

    • TribecaMike

      Is that when the indictments will be announced?

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      No, they will be there to say that water is dry. It is there only reason for existence.

  • Oblios_Cap

    "This is personal to me"."

    Suck it, Bitchez!

  • Callyson

    "Did I make myself clear? The requirement was for more work, not less"

    Sorry, Bill, but you are going to have to repeat this again and again to get through to people, and even then you'll never be clear to the wingnuts…

    • anniegetyerfun

      Does. Not. Compute. Because. Blahs.

  • IonaTrailer

    Yes, well – Bill your welfare to work thing wasn't quite as fabulous as you want us to think. There's a 5 year limit, and after that you're fucked. In California woman have to claim domestic violence to stay on the program if they can't find work.

    • Serfville

      Yeah, did you see Bowling for Columbine? Agreed.

  • Callyson

    Tonight, we are all fact-checkers…

    • obfuscator2

      tonight we are all blue dresses.

  • C_R_Eature

    Bill Clinton is Nuking the Republican Party from Orbit.

  • magic_titty

    Doesn't he have some pussy to get? This is going LONG.

    • Callyson

      I think the one thing that turns Bill Clinton on more than chicks is the chance to campaign again…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    What the hell is it about this motherfucker that he not only talks like he believes everybody wants and deserves in-depth nuanced explanations about everything, but that he's so interested and so masterful of the subjects that he can plainspokenly explain every single facet of a policy and then go from one subject to another to another for two fucking hours and I'm still gonna turn the volume up on the teevee when I have to get up to get another beer so I don't miss a couple of sentences? Holy fuckin' shit.

    • Terry

      He's talking, too, not reading. Dude is smart

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      He's still fucking got it.

    • BerkeleyBear

      See, Obama does it too (see Repub retreat where he tore them a new one), but without the twangy aw-shucks stuff it comes off more lecture style. But if O ever tried to talk like a good ol' boy, he'd get slaughtered as talking "ethnic".

    • janicket

      I can haz Rhodes scholar?

  • TribecaMike

    "Science and technology"? Get thee behind me Satan!

    • Oblios_Cap

      "Do ye the Devil's work".

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Did I make myself clear MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    I hope he ends this by saying "I'm out.", whilst ripping the mic off the podium, and dropping it to the floor.

    • PlanetWingNut

      i want Obama to do that too

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Budget policy wonking! HIT 'EM WHERE IT HURTS, BILL-O!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Simpson-Bowles sucks dick, though! Say hike the taxes on the 1%ers!

  • Biff

    Is his Harlem Arkansas accent getting stronger, or is it just me?

    • PlanetWingNut

      not just you i hear it

  • vodkamuppet

    This is great and all but who's winning the Giants-Cowboys game? For fantasy football sake, I MUST KNOW.

    • iTuna

      Dallas, and my opponent has Miles Austin!

      • mayor_quimby

        I have miles Austin, dropping his ass ASAP!

      • vodkamuppet

        Sweet. All I have in this game is Dallas Defense but it was killing me not knowing, no cable.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      I'm fucking boycotting the NFL until they settle things with the refs. Okay, not cold turkey, but I only watched a few minutes with the sound down.

      • vodkamuppet

        Some of these refs are literally HS Flag Football caliber. It's fucking pathetic. Still gonna watch though, everyone loves a good trainwreck.

        • shelwood46

          Colbert did a bit on it tonight. One of the refs came over from lingerie football.

          • vodkamuppet

            Read that on deadspin the other day, the jokes write themselves. You'd think the NFL would realize that football is a heavily gambled on sport and having a bunch of 3rd rate rejects officiate it is a terrible idea and likely to piss a ton of people off, but no.

      • Callyson

        Christ, that's STILL going on? Fucking pay the refs and get on with it, NFL–we have enough bad calls in the games with *real* officiating…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Dallas. It's Bizzaro night.

  • Troubledog

    Rhodes scholar is scholarly

  • AlterNewt

    Tonight's drinking word is "First…"

    • snackypants

      Or "Listen."

  • Callyson

    Arithmetic!

  • C_R_Eature

    ARITHMETIC, BITCHEZS!!

    • PlanetWingNut

      that's the t-shirt C-R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • IonaTrailer

    Ooooo – he's going to do math in public!!

  • Biff

    Science! Arithmetic!

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    Arithmetic.

  • Negropolis

    Bill Clinton: How ya' like me now?

  • obfuscator2

    jesus christ this is like a freestyle rap battle between jay-z and helen keller.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      I'm going to hell for laughing my arse off at that

    • Serfville

      LMAO!

    • Pat_Pending

      Or Helen 'Ghostface' Kellah…

  • TribecaMike

    The three r's — readin', rightin' and fuck Reagan!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    It's creeping me out to see the San Antonio mayor sitting next to FLOTUS. Keep your hands to yourself, buddy.

    • NellCote71

      Yeah, Julian, put your hands on me, instead.

  • IonaTrailer

    Not the PARKS!! Rosa notwithstanding.

  • PlanetWingNut

    i say it again i want to gay marry bill….

    • NellCote71

      I want to hetero marry Bill and gay marry Cecile Richards. Or Elizabeth Warren.

  • AlterNewt

    They are going to have to use the big cartoon hook.

    • Terry

      Wouldn't goddamn dare

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      He's caught in a feedback loop and doesn't know how to stop

  • FakaktaSouth

    Good lord, cut BACK on social programs? Come on Bill, that shit IS GONE if these assholes get their way, baby, you know this.

  • IonaTrailer

    EAT THE RICH, mutherfukker.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Is this a Springsteen concert? – he will stop at some point right?

    • Serfville

      No! The guy gets like 1 hour of sleep a night!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Having seen Bruce (in the Ice Palace) this year, I hope not.

    • mayor_quimby

      As soon as our girlfriends have had enough.

      • Oblios_Cap

        He promises to stimulate your sexual organs every concert.

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Oooh, inflation as a Republican tax policy. Preach it.

    Crush 'em on debt. Do it.

  • bibliotequetress

    Best tweet in past 25 seconds:
    "@NowWithAlex: There's only one person who can stop him. She's in Asia. #NowWithAlex #msnbc2012
    Retweeted by Chris W

  • Callyson

    No one can kick the GOP's ass over deficits better than Bill Clinton.

  • Guppy

    blah blah blah, policy policy…

    How dare he speak to us as if we weren't idiots!

    • NellCote71

      "How dare he speak to us as if we weren't idiots!" I know. He did not even come out screeching, "I love yewww women." although he totally does.

      • Chichikovovich

        If Bill did say that, he would continue "And if y'all will just form an orderly line down the hall, I'll be able to love every one of y'all"

      • Guppy

        It's in his kiss (that's where it is!)

  • IonaTrailer

    Trickle down???? Isn't it more like MIST down?

    • Terry

      Piss down

  • magic_titty

    He is ruining the Republican shit right now. Ruining their shit. All Barack has to do is come out and Hopey-Changey it for half an hour, say 'Michelle Obama' a few times, and smile that damn smile of his.

    • gullywompr

      RUIN! THEIR! SHIT!
      RUIN! THEIR! SHIT!
      RUIN! THEIR! SHIT! …

    • NellCote71

      Cutest little smile and biggest grin.

  • redarmyzombie

    Great. Clinton's talking, and my pants are STILL missing!

    • Guppy

      It happens more often than you'd think.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "We simply cannot afford to give the reins to someone who will double down on trickle-down." That sound I just heard was the Romney-Ryan campaign flying into a bug lamp.

    • bobbert

      Kill shot.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    why does bill sound more like a wonkette commentator than a democratic politician?

    • Guppy

      Term limits.

    • Boojum

      You know he's on here.

      • Chichikovovich

        OK, I'll admit it. I'm Bill Clinton. Now come on over here ladies and give me that big ol' hug.
        And, anything else that you may be thinking of giving me…..

  • Trannysurprise

    Ok, I'm out of tequila and this old woman shaking her finger at me is starting to look hot.

    • NellCote71

      On TV or real life?
      There are so many advantages to living alone.

  • Wadisay

    Fox is still hoping against hope that, any second now, Clinton will go off script and denounce Obama as a Kenyan anti-colonial socialist.

    • NellCote71

      In their wet dreams.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Those damn Maths have a liberal bias.

  • Callyson

    "if you want a country of shared opportunities and shared responsibilities…you should vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden."

    Done and done!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    When does Tipper come out for her kiss?

  • FakaktaSouth

    OH GOD YES, Say Joe's name again, I love it…

  • BarackMyWorld
  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Hahaha, now the voting procedure hit! BLAM!

  • ProgressiveInga

    Is that The Sandman in the wings with the big hook……or is it, yes, it's Barack Hussein Obama!!1!!!!

    • TribecaMike

      How'd you know that???

      • ProgressiveInga

        I read it on the internet!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Called out, Jon Husted!

  • rickmaci

    The force is strong in that one.

  • bibliotequetress

    This speech is going to have a happy ending.

  • subsum

    I want a bumper sticker that reads "Arithmetic, beotchez!" and nothing else.

  • Serfville

    Did he just say. "In conclusion" & just got a standing ovation? It's 1988 all over again!

  • Callyson

    GOOD on him for bringing up the GOP's voter suppression tactics. Still have a simmering ragefest over the crap going on in the Keystone State…

    • miss_grundy

      They are still trying that shit in Ohio….

  • obfuscator2

    GODAMMIT BILL GIVE ME THE MARRIAGE EQUALITY MONEY SHOT.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    He is going long, a Clinton Tradition, but I can't believe people will turn out. And all of tomorrow is going to be dominated by clips of him and Elizabeth Warren, and sniveling, whining conservatives who have just had their asses handed to them.

  • Negropolis

    The Clinton can not be contained, The Clinton can not be stopped. Resistance is futile.

    • Oblios_Cap

      You will be assimilated!

    • Serfville

      Jeebus, did Clinton just explain The Medieval Serf system in comparison to the socioeconomic policies of the Ming Dynasty? When do we get to explaining what went on in the 2nd Century?

    • NellCote71

      I submit. Gladly.

    • Callyson
  • sudsmckenzie

    He will make a great first. … well whatever their going to call it in 2016.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Who would you rather speak for you? Bill Clinton or Clint Eastwood?

    • miss_grundy

      Oh, please…the big Dog can kick Cranky's ass any day of the week. And I hope Cranky's movie does jack shit at the box office.

      • NellCote71

        The new old Mel Gibson. Or the old new Mel Gibson. Whatever.

  • Terry

    I feel like I'm singing in a choir right behind Bill

  • PlanetWingNut

    i'm gonna go to romney and ryan's facebook after this and say ARTHEMETIC BITCHEZ AND Bill just schooled your asses

  • rickmaci

    Trickle down? How about pee on my back and tell me it's rain.

  • bibliotequetress

    God, we do have the smartest fucking politicians, don't we? Love me some Dems right now.

    • NellCote71

      Oh we do. We do. And we are proud of our past presidents and other leaders like Ted Kennedy. Their only dead idol is, hey, another RR.

      • Veritas78

        Hell, last night Teddy ripped Mitt another asshole last night and he's been dead for how many years now?

        And they were whining today about how disrespectful it was to use a dead man's words to clobber again the guy he clobbered 18 years ago. Pansy ass republicans.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Michelle REALLY doesn't like Clinton. Those eye rolls are freakin nuclear.

    • vulpes82

      He probably won't stop hitting on her, and Michell is a ONE man woman!

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      No love lost between the two camps, but damn, Bill did the job there.

      • Crank_Tango

        I wonder if Hills was watching that.

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          It's about 11am in China so I reckon she might have been, barring SecState duties.

          • NellCote71

            Andrea Mitchell reported that Hillary is out of Internet connection. In East Timor. Unlike Ann, who I am sure was totally connected. In London. While watching fancy, dancy, tax-break horse.

  • BerkeleyBear

    Bill just hit his 400th point. Is there a hooker in the podium a la Police Academy?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Holy shit, I wanna buy a minibus and follow this motherfucker around the country.

    • Terry

      I'd blow him tonight, I swear

      • NellCote71

        I forgive all those trailer trash Gennifers, et al.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I'll go! I went to a Phish concert once and people sold gill cheese and tomato soup in the parking lot – and they were awesome! Someone else sold margaritas – and they were awesome! Someone else sold a quarter-ounce of magic mushrooms – and they were awesome! That's how we'll finance this thing.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    He talked about voter manipulation. I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!

  • gullywompr

    That's some Founding Fathers shit right there….

  • Moniker Lewinsky

    FINISH ON MY FACE!

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      LOL. He's such a generous speaker. He gives and he gives and he gives.

  • C_R_Eature

    Right now, if Bill Clinton told the crowd to grab the pitchforks and torches, by golly they'd grab the motherfucking pitchforks and torches.

    The Rich don't know how lucky they are.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I'm not Bill's greatest fan, but damn can the boy give a good speech!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    PANTIESCREAMPANTIESCREAM!!!!1!

  • C_R_Eature

    Not a Dry Seat in the House.

    • RadioX

      Towels for everyone!

  • redarmyzombie

    Say, this is MUCH better than watching some old dude yell at a chair.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Bammerz! Having a moment here. Hyperventilating. Back in a mo'

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Any other oldz out there remember when they used to dance in the aisles at political conventions? Start dancin'!

    • NellCote71

      I am so old I remember real brokered conventions and the teebee networks bragging about "gavel to gavel" coverage.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        I know!Hard to believe.Now we've got Honey Boo Boo and America's Got Talent to sedate the masses who can't be bothered thinking about who will represent them in the most important decisions of their lives.

        • Arborista

          Huh, whaaa? Didja say somethin'?

  • Serfville

    Get the hell off MY stage Muthafucka!

  • Lucidamente1

    Wow, I'm spent. And now Obama on stage. I need a cigarette, and I don't even smoke.

  • miss_grundy

    Bammerz in the House!!!!!!

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Petty almost makes up for Fleetwood Mac.

    Still, he should have gone with "You Got Lucky."

    • obfuscator2

      i fell in love with "i won't back down" when eddie vedder played it at a vote for choice rally all the way back in the mid-90s.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Judy Woodruff — "You can tell — the roof has risen off of this arena." Gwen Ifill concurs.

  • IonaTrailer

    BLOW JOBS ALL AROUND!!!

    (oh, was that too much snark?)

    • bibliotequetress

      Was that snark?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Not even fucking close.

  • Negropolis

    On September 5th, 2012, 11:25 PM Eastern time, the begun the election has.

    • bibliotequetress

      For reals. I'm going to bed a happy little librarian. I hope hope hope Liz W. gets a bump from this.

    • Terry

      And at the same moment, the contest was over

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      That really was quite something. Like, nuclear-powered awesome.

      Even Gergen is gobsmacked.

      • bikerlaureate

        Wolf keeps babbling too.

  • rickmaci

    The first black Potus and the second black Potus. Some pic.

  • Serfville

    Did you see the LOOK Prez gave Big Dawg when Big Dawg turned around shaking hands on his way out? Whoa!

    • Serfville

      I think that was the same look Prez gives gaffey Joe EVERYTIME he's let out of the Observatory and opens his mouth!

  • Callyson

    Who was better–Elizabeth Warren or Bill Clinton?

    Nope, not even going to choose between them…

    OK, time to take two dogs out (again, for those of you in Los Angeles/Silver Lake, if you know anyone missing a black & white male puppy, please reply to this!), but I'll check in for the MSNBC talking heads and check out everyone's comments from the start. BBL…

    • PlanetWingNut

      Have to say Bill did that speech what he does to vagina…eats it and makes ir orgasm

    • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

      Have you tried a found notice in The Eastsider?

      • Callyson

        Good idea, thanks, will do that now…

  • TribecaMike

    Elvis has left the building

  • ProgressiveInga

    Cut the lights and get out the Bics!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Won't Back Down! Will Petty seek a Cease and Desist? I think not.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    David Brooks: "It was an effective speech. As always, too long — but effective."

    David Brooks is right now sitting in his own urine.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Just like every other night….

      • miss_grundy

        I hope he was wearing a Depends, or else they'll have to get him a new chair.

    • saggyboobedhag

      Brooks has no clue what would qualify as "too long."

  • BarackMyWorld

    Tom Petty FTW.

  • BoroPrimorac

    Look at that shit. He makes women orgasm just by speaking.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I can also make them do that with my mouth, but not the same way.

    • PlanetWingNut

      And the men too honey and the men too

      • BoroPrimorac

        Ed Schultz and Tweety are definitely wearing an OH face right now.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Did you see the pretty woman mouth, "Oh, my Gawd!" and clutch her bosom when it was over? She DEFINITELY got off.

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    CNN commentator: "That was the best speech I've ever heard"

    • PlanetWingNut

      i wonder if Rachel had another OmG moment :)

  • Lucidamente1

    Chris Matthew has a winning, post-coital glow.

    • TribecaMike

      And his leg fell off.

    • IonaTrailer

      Rachael Maddow is looking pretty satisfied too!

  • PlanetWingNut

    only thing that would have made that bill and obama exit cooler was if bill put on his shades and brought out the sax and obama did some slow jams

  • rickmaci

    We all should get a quarter of Poli Sci credit for listening to that 45 minutes.

    • NellCote71

      Substance. What a concept.

    • rickmaci

      The RepubliKons are so filled with the "I know what I believe, don't bother me with facts."

  • TribecaMike

    Finally, they're voting on the god thing.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    48 minutes of pure delight.

    and i betcha bill hasn't had this much fun since the mid 90's. i'm not sure i have.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I was thinking that, too. He's enjoying this as much as we are.

  • Biff

    Greatest. Nomination. Speech. EVAH.

  • vodkamuppet

    Thanks for blogging Zoom, you did a great job and you didn't even have booze for most of it. Not an easy accomplishment.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Three cheers for the Doktor!

    • obfuscator2

      please allow me to upfist that. zoom's observations on the long-forgotten power of facts were welcome.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Amen. I'm proud to have been able to drink heavily for you, Doc.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Yes, thanks DokZ, top job, sir!

    • NellCote71

      Agreed. Great job. Wonder who and where our overlords are fornicating on the second most important night of this convention. Thanks, Dr. zoom, for stepping up and filling in for these slackers.

  • Negropolis

    Somebody get me a cigarette. Hot damn.

    • PlanetWingNut

      Sorry my brother…you gots to get your own!

    • IonaTrailer

      Unless you want a *special* ciggerette…

  • TribecaMike

    Remember when the roll call would start around 2 or 3 in the a.m.?

    • Serfville

      Yeah & everyone cold token' camels? Those were the days!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    My Mom just said, "Chris Matthews had a thrill up BOTH his legs tonight."

    • C_R_Eature

      All three.

  • CthuNHu

    Speech bubble: "God bless America!"

    Thought bubble: "Fucking 22nd Amendment… THIS is what I should have been doing for the last twelve years! And the next twelve!"

  • Guppy

    "Every vote counts and every vote is precious (except six hours ago)."

  • FakaktaSouth

    THIS part of Alabama says FUCK YEAH. 69 votes.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Huh huh…69…

      • Pat_Pending

        at least I wasn't only one going all Beavis and Butthead…

        • IonaTrailer

          heh-heh-heh-heh-heh

      • FakaktaSouth

        See, I AM old, I was thinking Bill and Ted. 69, dude.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I'd hate to follow that. Maybe William Jennings Bryant could pull it off.

    • Guppy

      Jesus knows the Paultards want to go back to the Cross of Gold.

      • Oblios_Cap

        They loves "The Wizard of Oz", I'm told.

      • Chichikovovich

        That's actually the Ron Paul Revolution's motto:
        "Damn right we want to crucify mankind on a Cross of Gold. And press down upon the brow of labor a crown of thorns too."

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          That would be their motto – wordy as fuck.

  • Biff

    'Bama, represent!

  • Serfville

    Clint Eastwood who?

  • Veritas78

    I remembered a whole decade just now. Yup, some hiccups, but those were good times, and that is one fucking smart guy. We are lucky to have an even fucking-smarter guy today. America's lucky streak continues.

  • Terry

    Oh, the gentleman nominating from Alabama is fabulous

  • C_R_Eature

    The Democratic Convention engages the Republican Convention in a nice Rugby match.

    • VinnyThePooh

      "What's funny, Mitt?"

  • TribecaMike

    "Alabama, a state where the vote is worth dying for." A Republican would say that jokingly.

  • magic_titty

    Anyone else see Barry almost break into a crip walk when he greeted Bill? Was I just wearing my Negro goggles?

    • obfuscator2

      he's probably been suppressing his natural pimp stroll for a couple of decades now. walk that shit out, bear bear.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Definitely a strut. Made me clinch…..in a good way…

    • NellCote71

      Said earlier. Only two black presidents. And we are so much better off for it. Patrick/Castro/Warren 2016.

    • AlterNewt
  • Crank_Tango

    I just got an igloohhhh

  • BathroomGoblin

    You can hear Mark Shields' pulse through his headset mic.

  • RadioX

    Great job Doktor.
    I can see why the Republitards were so afraid of him. They've been trying to say Clinton hates Obama (haha he doesn't hate anybody, much less Obama) and trying to revisit his blow jobs (now more than ever, Who. Fucking. Cares?).
    Bill Clinton ripped it. I just sat through an hour long political speech enthralled — and that's a first.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Me too – when it was over and someone said it was 50 minutes, I was very surprised.

      • Arborista

        Clinton always gave great speech- it was the way he helped move the Dem party over to the right that still doesn't sit well with me. But damn, he is a born politician & speechifier…

  • gullywompr

    Fox News guys are sputtering and stuttering, barely can get a sentence out. They are going with Clinton being a numbers wonk who was (and I quote) "rambling". They don't know whether to shit or wind their watches.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Thank you for reporting from the cosmic vortex that is Faux News. I couldn't do it, man, and be careful out there!

    • rickmaci

      They will be calling for change of diapers at the commercial break.

    • NellCote71

      Rambling? This from the party of Clint Eastwwod?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      You're visiting that "Republican Alternate Universe" Bill was talking about. Who said "Rambling"? Was it Brit? It was Brit, right?

      • gullywompr

        It was Brit indeed. He also mentioned that Clinton's index fingers were crooked when he gestured.

        They looked like they'd just been in a car crash, totally in shock.

      • Negropolis

        Brit, the guy that sounds like Tom Brokaw with a broken jaw, talking about "rambling." That is rich. I mean, that's like Mitt Romney rich.

  • Biff

    24 Alaskan votes for Barack Obama, and one for $arah Palin!
    Whut?

  • TribecaMike

    And the winner of the David Hidalgo Look-Alike Award goes to American Samoa.

  • Crank_Tango

    ooh snap cc golddaughter!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    But remember one thing. The Big Dog is a horse trader of the old school. What's he going to ask for in exchange for that speech? Uncle Joe might have seen his 2016 campaign walk out the door tonight.

  • C_R_Eature

    Barry Goldwater's Daughter! Holy shit!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Miracles happen in Arizona sometimes.

  • Biff

    Not only did the Big Dog just give the speech of a lifetime while receiving a hummer, he was also emailing me at the same time! Dude's freaking amazing!

    • NellCote71

      Double cheating dawg. He just emailed me, TOO.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        And I was emailng one to Clinton at the same time. The Bastard!

    • Crank_Tango

      Give that man a cigar!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Sometimes I forget why I voted for Bill Clinton.

    Then on nights like this one I remember.

    • NellCote71

      I never forgot. And see Barry ably filling his shoes. Without all the pesky wimmenz problems.

  • PlanetWingNut

    american samoa should have brought out the Rock to say that !

  • Pat_Pending

    Awww… Cece Goldwater got nervous… Goldwater/Miller 2016!

    • Biff

      If by that you mean Cece and Stephanie, yes–I would hit that.

      • Pat_Pending

        of course! Box wine for all!

  • PlanetWingNut

    uh…these state speeches are making my vagina wince….and i dont have one.

    • Guppy

      And that's why they're delegates and not nominees.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Hotness in defense of liberty is no Vice!
    AZ>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..

  • AlterNewt

    Well done, Doktor.

  • rickmaci

    Most ironic line. "Democracy does not have to be a blood sport." As he methodically shoved verbal swords in the body of the Republicons over and over and over…

    • NellCote71

      No harm. No fault. I am sure it went over their collective heads, and their mouth-breathing "base."

    • rickmaci

      No, I loved the harm. Wasn't nearly bloody enough, but it was pretty close.

  • Pat_Pending

    IT'S DI-FI!!! And B-BOX!!!! AND BAD-ASS NANCE!!! WHOOOO!!!

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      I fucking love this state sometimes. Loved that moment!

      • Pat_Pending

        If Anna Eshoo was up there too I would be completely and utterly represented.

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          and noted awesome CA AG Kamala Harris spoke tonight as well

          so good

          "President Obama stood with me and 48 other attorneys general in taking on the banks and winning $25 billion for struggling homeowners," Harris said, noting that Obama also supported credit card and Wall Street reform.

          "That's leadership!" Harris continued. "That's what President Obama did. And that's why we need to give him another four years. We need to move forward. President Obama will fight for working families. He will fight to level the economic playing field and fight to give every American the same fair shot my family had."

    • NellCote71

      Ahem. San Antonio mayor STILL owns it.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    thanks dok awesome work awesome night

  • Doktor Zoom

    Haha, now I am going to join you bastards down here in the comments and drink more of that scotch. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

    • ProgressiveInga

      Good job, DZ!

    • iTuna

      Kickass job up there, Dok.

    • RadioX

      Love you back Dok.

    • TribecaMike

      Superb job, Dok!

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Great stuff Dok!

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Zoom!
      Zoom!
      Zoom!
      Zoom!

      • Oblios_Cap

        "policy wonk"! .

    • redarmyzombie

      Willkommen, herr Doktor!

    • AlterNewt

      Nicely done, Doktor.Very nicely done.

    • sudsmckenzie

      Nice job Doctor!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Are you speaking tomorrow night, perchance? Cause I'd love to hear you spout your description of Willard's laugh.

    • IonaTrailer

      I'm buyin'!

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      Ahhhahahahahaha!!1!

    • C_R_Eature

      Outstanding Blogsteerage, Dok. Hat's Off to you!

    • vodkamuppet

      Sweet. It's like when you get to hangout with the band after the show.

    • bobbert

      A manly pat on the back for the good Doktor.

    • NellCote71

      And we love you. Group hug.

    • Callyson

      Thanks for your service to the nation.

      What? We Wonketteers count as a nation…

  • ElPinche

    That Hillary's husband fella is pretty fucking AWESOME! I don't have the attention span to listen to anyone for 50 minutes…except Bubba.

  • Oblios_Cap

    California – the land of Fruits and Truck Nutz – is awfully long winded. Diane Feinstein sucks. Also, too.

  • bikerlaureate

    Kerry was great too! Impressive information and passion.

  • TribecaMike

    Hold up, Doktor Zoom, that coffin stick will have to wait until the great state of Zembla has spoken!

  • Guppy

    "The home of the Connecticut Compromise, which royally fucked the United States Senate for ever and ever, amen!"

  • Oblios_Cap

    Who will win the nomination? The suspense is killing me!

    • Serfville

      Warren/Fluke 2012!

    • Guppy

      RON PAUL ARGLEBARGLE!

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Ron Paul shall rise again!

        • Arborista

          Please, let the Paultards run a write-in campaign in Nov. Who can craft a long, ranting e-mail in multi-colored Comic Sans making a case for Ron Paul as ideal write-in candidate & start forwarding it to known or suspected Paultards?

  • subsum

    The most brilliant thing Bill did was give credit to Dubya. Now that's going to drive a wedge in the Republican narrative. They're purposely distancing themselves from Dubya and Bill comes up and brings him to the forefront. That will force the Romney campaign to say something to acknowledge that Bush exists and that will give the Obama campaign the entry point they need to pound the Republicans with Bush's record. Very well done. Thanks, Bubba.

  • BarackMyWorld

    So…when do the August unemployment numbers come out?

    • obfuscator2

      tomorrow, i think.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Friday

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    FOX News Analysis: Clinton went on too long, used too much detail, and talked about facts. Total Fail. Who can expect Americans to remember something when someone speaks for 50 minutes.

    • Serfville

      Rethugs wouldn't know a Rhodes Scholar if him or her bit them in the ass!

      • PlanetWingNut

        lord knows some of them would pay one too…i'm looking at you david vitter!!!

        • NellCote71

          Tough, though, biting through diapers.

    • magic_titty

      They have a point. "Fox News: DERP DERP GRR!" has been a hit in the ratings.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Their viewers went to bed an hour ago, so it doesn't make any difference what their talking heads say.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Maybe that is why they are so pissed. They figure when Bill goes long, half their audience has gone to bed (and about a quarter have probably died).

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Totally plausible.

    • Biff

      Can't remember 50 minutes ago, but they seem to recall every fucking minute of their revised raygun administration.

      • Serfville

        Selective amnesia

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Dementia is like that. They remember a long time ago, but they can't remember two minutes ago.

        • Biff

          True. They should all be in protective custody.

    • ElPinche

      FOX news couldn't find anyone in the building who had a big enough attention span to break it down for the cromagnon masses.

    • glamourdammerung

      FOX News Analysis: Clinton went on too long, used too much detail, and talked about facts. Total Fail. Who can expect Americans to remember something when someone speaks for 50 minutes.

      So Fox "news" is outright stating that their audience is too mentally slow to have been able to follow Clinton's speech? Seems like that is short changing even them since they can still recall the minutiae of various lies the media made up about Clinton 20 years later.

  • CthuNHu

    Caesar Rodney shout-out! Woo-hoo! Weird history nerd dog-whistle!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    I want to see the New Jersey delegate just say "153, Obama. New Jersey out." *drops mic*

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That would be awesome.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Let's see.

  • Wadisay

    Take that, Romney. Give up. Stick a fork in yourself, you're done.

    • Serfville

      Big Dawg on the trail with Prez, THE END.

    • redarmyzombie

      That man is sooooo screwed, I almost feel pity for him.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      No amount of Ryan Lyin' and Romney horseshit can counter that vicious uppercut.

  • tracyhasfun

    Doktor, you are my fave wonkette. Also, I love 1554. Have always believed beer delivery would improve economy, quality of life.

    • Guppy

      Doktor, you are my fave wonkette.

      Ooooh, Our Illustrious Editrix won't be happy with that…

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Someone's gonna get machinegun skullfucked. …with votes?

        • NellCote71

          Can we say the R word again, if what you suggest happens?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Aw, thanks :) Also, at the risk of brown-nosing, Rebecca is one hell of a good editor–I am learning a hell of a lot about Bringing Teh Funny, and she has a real knack for slicing/dicing & little modifications that make an OK line into a real laugh.

  • mustangsavvy

    I never understood why the women swooned over Bill. Now I fucking well do. Good gravy. Where are my smelling salts?!

    The yummy Democratic men are making me feel that special feeling. If you know what I mean. And I mean – VOTE. You perverts. I meant VOTE.

    • Pat_Pending

      Today we all are wearing blue dresses.

      • NellCote71

        Love it!

  • PlanetWingNut

    i don't think Honey Boo Boo won against the DNC…

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    Does anyone ever know what Chris Hayes is talking about?

    • Serfville

      Nope

    • NellCote71

      What's up with his hair? Too. Also.

  • vulpes82

    We're now going to be treated to hours of Obama/Clinton hug-analysis, "Did Bill Clinton upstage Obama?", and concern-trolling Obama having to follow that speech up. WHY DO I KNOW THE PUNDIT MIND SO WELL, GET IT OUT OF ME, GET IT OUT OF ME!

    • ProgressiveInga

      Have you recently eaten at Chik-Fil-A? 'Cause, if so, better call a Nun-on-a-Bus for an old time exorcism…

  • Guppy

    Guam is gonna send their delegate back to the House, to do… something… I dunno, hang out with DC's?

  • TribecaMike

    Rachel and her pundit panel are trying to outwonk Clinton. Can't be done, Rach.

  • sudsmckenzie

    tonight, we are all the first Black president.

  • IonaTrailer

    Neil Abercrombe representing Hawaii!!!

    • TribecaMike

      Yeah! I liked that "Child of the Islands" bit.

  • Guppy

    And the haole boy smacks down the birthers…

  • just_a_head

    That was the fastest long speech I ever heard. A smart man who's honest-to-god folksy charming makes me little heart go pitter-pat.

    Old school Willy. He even did the lip-bite chin-thrust thingie a few times.

  • Serfville

    A Child Of The Hawaiian Islands!

  • gullywompr

    Damn, Krauthammer is an idiot.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hardly a secret.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      He was dropped on his head.

      • Fukui-sanYesOta

        By himself.

        • gullywompr

          He built that.

        • sullivanst

          In the log cabin he built?

    • Serfville

      Fox News looks like The Island Of Dr. Moreau. Krauthammer is the king of the island.

      • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

        Krauthammer is also emperor of the Daleks. "Exterminate! Exterminaaaaaaaate!!!"

    • Serfville

      Dick Morris crazy mouth is 2nd in command

    • smitallica

      Forget it, he's rolling.

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Good gosh, comments from Free Republic:

    Well, it was a good speech overall by Clinton…preached right to the choir he did. Gotta give him that. What Democrat voters need to understand is…he isn’t running. 0bama doesn’t have any rabbits left in his hat.

    Who will say to him…I knew Billy Jeff Clinton…and you are no Billy Jeff.

    For them, the afterglow of the Clinton speech will be gone within days…and all that is left is the fading 0bama poster on the wall. *sigh*. My bet is that a hearty majority of them sit this one out.

    PRAISE for Clinton? Romney is fucked.

    Of course, normal service was soon resumed:

    We’ll have to hope the females of America don’t allow themselves to be ensnared by the ‘gay black man fantasy’ thing again like they were in 2008. The ‘sexually deviant impeached president’ thing tonight was damaging enough.

    Huh, Carly Fiorina is on CNN saying how good the speech was and desperately, desperately, trying to inject Republican talking points.

    • Pat_Pending

      Why would anyone listen to that cunt?

      • Fukui-sanYesOta

        I'm not entirely sure, after her amazing idea to merge HP and Compaq.

        Jerb creator? I think not.

    • TribecaMike

      I'll take that bet, and raise him a bad ass nun.

      • Serfville

        What's that Carly nut doing on CNN? Did she pay someone to get on there? Her way of campaigning was making fun of Barbara Boxer's hairdo, that's why she lost. Idjet.

    • BoroPrimorac

      They hate us for our pussy gettin' skillz.

    • ElPinche

      Her brief presence on CNN spontaneously layed off 500 CNN employees and CNN's stock just dropped 500 pts.

    • redarmyzombie

      I can just hear them trying to mutter that with their teeth clenched. God, those poor bastards are royally screwed. We've got so many talented people-Michelle Obama, Mr. Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Sandra Fluke, and god knows how many people I've missed. The only thing people will remember from the RNC is some old guy yelling at a chair…

  • PlanetWingNut

    they must gonna do hAWAII LAST..a good idea for the birthplace …as a taunt to birthers

  • Guppy

    OK, the speaking Iowan delegate is adorable…

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    I'm flipping between CSPAN and MSNBC freaking out. That last ididnotinhale was a mistake…

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    Which state is represented by a Jonas Brother? CNN cut to ads.

  • Biff

    I thought it was genius, pointedly 'splaining how policies set in motion under raygun's watch were responsible for the mess everyone blames on the shrub.

  • TribecaMike

    Second Shuggie Otis sighting! Go Iowa!

  • Guppy

    Free Soil! Drink (to John Brown)!

  • sbj1964

    Bill Clinton brought a tear to my eye,but in a good way.Obama 2012!

  • CthuNHu

    OMG, adorable 18-year-old girl speaks for Iowa. See that, Feinstein, Boxer and Pelosi? That's a classy delegation.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    I wonder if after tonight Karl Rove will still consider himself "history's actor." Hey shitheel, that's how politics is done.

  • Negropolis

    I'm so waiting for them to get to the Michigan delegation…"Michigan, where the trees are the right height…"

  • Guppy

    Perverse sexual lust!

  • Guppy

    O'Malley figured out public speaking again, methinks.

    EDIT: Dammit, no he didn't.

    • BoroPrimorac

      I saw him speaking last night and dude has a real deficit in that department.

  • Crank_Tango

    ?

  • Negropolis

    State Rep. Rashida Tlaib for Michigan!

    • Guppy

      I was wondering if she'd mention the platform amendment…

      • Negropolis

        Wait, what did I miss?

        • Guppy

          I just figure all the Arab American Democrats were among those none too keen on the "We <3 Zionism" amendment.

          • Negropolis

            I'm sure they are not too keen, but realize when best to pick their battles.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    How dorky is it to cry for the roll call? But Michigan just pushed me over the spill level.

  • Guppy

    Hmm… is this Mississippi thing going to be about Husted?

  • Biff

    BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS OUR NEW DELEGATE, FINALLY! THANK YOU, OHIO!

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    OMG, someone quick make a gif of the guy with the beard and the floppy "Cat In The Hat" hat dancing. It's awesomes.

    • Pat_Pending

      He's the guy who is first out on the dance floor at every white wedding….

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Three cheers for Mississippi. But I like how they put a caveat on their gift to Ohio.

  • TribecaMike

    Poor Claire McCaskill got a yeast infection from watching Bill on TV at her home.

  • Guppy

    Uh… way to talk over the Nebraska lady…

  • SorosBot

    So should I feel bad for going out tonight instead of watching the proceedings? The fact that our bar was visited by the guy my friends and I call Stinky for reasons you can probably guess points towards yes..

    • ProgressiveInga

      You didn't miss anything – buncha librul whiners being victims of their own shiftlessness and laziness…..

      Just kidding! You missed the BIG DAWG bitchslapping the taste out of Rmoney's mouth, it was AWESOME! Arithmetic, bitches!

      • NellCote71

        Silly Wonketteer. Romney taste is only a rumor among many about the OS upgrade.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Your bar is bad, and you should feel bad!

      • SorosBot

        They're only bad in that they're too nice to kick the fat, bike-riding pile of BO out.

        Oh, and one of the waitresses is a fucking Giants fan; but at least tonight they were playing the motherfucking Cowboys, who are even worse.

    • redarmyzombie

      Well, if you wanted to see the Republican party get cockslapped repeatedly to the point of oblivion, then yes, you should feel VERY bad!

    • Doktor Zoom

      So what you do is, you go to C-SPAN's website, replay ever bit of the speechifyin', and read the liveblog.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Doktor – you have been my favorite live blogger so far. Thank you.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Aww, thanks! It was a hoot!

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        U R Triple A+ Gold Medal World Champion!

    • emmelemm

      Ah-greed.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      this is still making me chuckle:

      We suddenly remember when the term “policy wonk” entered the national vocabulary.

  • barto

    Hell, we got freakin Jerry Brown (aka Gandolph) for gov again after a three decade hiatus, why not Big Dog in 2016 I sez? (saludos from CA, wonkaderos)

    • Serfville

      Yeah, he was a great Prez. Heck FDR did it. Why not?

      • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Sure, why not? Maybe nobody will notice the 22nd amendment.

        • bobbert

          He could haz sekrit identity?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Don't Republiclowns stop counting 'em after the 2nd? They sure as hell don't get as far as fourteen.

    • TribecaMike

      NAFTA II? I'd rather not.

  • Guppy

    Shelley Berkley: when plastic surgery goes wrong.

    • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      Srsly. Last time I saw skin like that it had "Ludwig" printed on it.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      But did you see Allyson Schwartz from Philly? Her make-over is rockin'.

  • Arborista

    Dok, I'm just tuning in after your liveblog is no longer live, but my teevee's in the other room, & my computer is not of the portable sort… I'd have checked in sooner if I'd known about your debut. Nice Job!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Tanks!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    New Mexico should have said "Obamanos". They have these great bumper stickers…

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Doktor…Who?

    • glasspusher

      I see what you did there…

      • TribecaMike

        It only took me 16 hours.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Dolor whom. Grammar people.

  • TribecaMike

    Sheldon Silver — The Kingpin speaketh and speaketh and speaketh.

  • sbj1964

    To parody Kathy Griffin.Suck on it GOP! Obama 2012!

  • mirrorballdc

    I hope the Democratic Party was wearing protection tonight.

    • Sacanagem

      So THAT's why Bubba always reminds me of my ex-boyfriend…

  • Guppy

    And the Albany insider won't STFU.

    • TribecaMike

      For the first time in his life, somebody told him to shut up.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Maybe he knows it's his last hurrah.

  • PlanetWingNut

    hahahahha oregon stelling her to shut up

  • Guppy

    "Wise Latina!" Drink!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Pennsylvania, where labor unions were born. I'll drink to that.

  • Guppy

    OK, a gold star for the Rhode Island guy for talking fast.

    EDIT: … and he loses it for not wrapping up before I get my Medicare voucher.

  • sati_demise

    Notice how quiet the room became when Clenus mentions Bowles-Simpson?

    I wish some delegates had the brass to 'boo' when that travesty came up- there was some talk of this on the twittersphere, but no one came through……sigh

    BOO Bowles-Simpson

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    So. Bubba's speech was very… long. It was also very detailed, and very heavily ad-lib'd*

    And, with all that, it's still a speech packed with so much awesome that I was pretty sad when it was over.

    I only know of two people with that sort of oratory power, and tonight, they both brohugged.

    *apparently due to a teleprompter malfunction? Yeah, anyone who says that teleprompters obviate natural delivery and impromptu speaking ability is full of it.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Hah! Said I was going to join you guys in the comments, then went and READ all the fuckers. Upfisted every last one of you, too.

    Except for that one person. You know who you are.

    • C_R_Eature

      Fisted you back because, Courtesy. Internet Traditions,also.

      There's always one.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Great job Dok. Great job.

      • gullywompr

        Me three.

    • NellCote71

      Thanks. Haven't been fisted for such a long time.

  • Arborista

    Well, that's one benefit of SC not having many Dems in office- they got through their voting announcement pretty quickly…

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    In other news, Charles Krauthammer has figured out that Obama is in fact a super villain, and has a weather machine. On FOX News on moving the speech inside "The Democrats have known what the weather will be for months."

    I guess the Republicans don't have such powers, so that excuses them having to close down their convention for a day (and not allowing us to see Donald Trump's' brilliant speech).

  • Pat_Pending

    Holy Crap! Ashley Judd!!!

  • PlanetWingNut

    STOP TALKING AND give up the votes

    • Guppy

      Except Ashley Judd, she can stay.

  • CthuNHu

    It's really touching that the entire population of Vermont made the trip to Charlotte.

    • Arborista

      Ben & Jerry were BOTH there? Who's minding the shop?

    • Negropolis

      Speaking of Vermont and Charlotte, doesn't Charlotte have a population bigger than the entire state of Vermont?

  • Guppy

    What hope does USVI have of electors other than being duck taped onto Puerto Rico or (shudder) Florida?

    • James Michael Curley

      USVI is beautiful. I was there for a few weeks in the early 80's on business. Unfortunately its major industry the Hess Oil Refinery is closing down. The population is less than 100,000 and each adult is required to submit a proposed Constitution under the decades old joint US/UN agreement to allow self determination. The Constitution of the month is then submitted to the US Congress and the President who jointly red line it for spelling errors and send it back for review. The author and his committee then fly off to the British Virgin Islands for gin and tonic and make crude jokes about English School Boys.

      • Guppy

        and each adult is required to submit a proposed Constitution

        Isn't the official stationery cocktail napkins?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        What is Tim Duncan's role in all of this? They should declare independence and install him as the fairest, decentest and least charismatic dictator of all time!

        • James Michael Curley

          I don’t follow BB but I thought he was going to be a Ron Paul ‘delegate’ until some of the Paultard rule cooking didn’t work. I think he still lives in the USVI and I seem to remember he was going to buy a hotel on St. Croix. I still played a little golf when I was in St. Croix. The hotel had a golf course right in front and right on the beach. As you rounded the 9th, maybe 10th hole and walked along the beach you passed the clothing optional area. Talk about having difficulty keeping your eye on the ball.With Hess closing down refining and probably having a lot less rich, melanin deficient posers maybe the next round of writing a constitution will bring better assurances of true representation. But after being there I have rejected going to Caribbean ‘resorts’ because I find the income disparity alarming. Since most Caribbean resort locations are very Brit or Dutch, I doubt they have any sense of equity better than those still heavily influenced by the US interests.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            I searched every which way, and I can find no Tim Duncan connection to any kind of politics, let alone Paultardism.

          • James Michael Curley

            Do “celebrities for Ron Paul 2012” but it brings up a bunch of Paultard sites. No ‘news’ in the first few pages of listings. The ‘delegate’ information was from a news article which may have announced the closing of the refinery in early 2012 as it also said that the USVI Constitution Convention had passed a constitution which was acceptable and that subsequently went down.

          • James Michael Curley

            I probably would not have known of a Tim Duncan BB player were it not for the article months and months ago about the government issues and the pending representation at the DNC for all of the US protectorates/colonies, whatever one wants to euphemize them as. Now his name pops out of my subconscious when I am halfway listening to the morning sports cast on my local channel (The woman who does the sports is so hot that I have accidentally stuck my oatmeal spoon in my ear.).

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Arithmetic is for terrorists and Europeans!

  • Guppy

    Was it just me, or did the Wisconsin guy say they had 103 votes instead of 111?

  • Serfville

    Darryl Hammond on MSNBC. Hammond is a genius. I really miss seeing him. Juxtaposition Clinton's speech to Chris Crisco's speech. Crisco slathered & drewled all over himself & barely mentioned Mittens. Clinton: Speech Of The Century.

  • Negropolis

    I was just reflecting back to the Republican's convention, and it's crazy how shallow their bench is. In just these two nights, they made Romney and Ryan look like actors who play politicians on television. They don't have anyone who can answer Michelle, they don't have anyone who can answer Bill, and they sure as hell don't have anyone who can answer the president. I mean, even a lot of Republicans have admitted this, tonight. There isn't a Republican that can do what Bill did, tonight.

    If this keeps going the way it's going, there won't be enough mouthbreathers in the world that can derail this come election day, and I'm sure as hell going to make sure that I do what I can do on my end.

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      AMEN!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Well, they don't have anyone who can speak that well, but they try to make up for it by piling on the Word Salad.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      you are exactly right about their bench. which is terrifying considering they are one of only two choices and the ONLY choice for a major segment of the population.

      i too am still on a clinton (convention) high. but i don't think it's in the bag.

      there is the money issue. there is the race issue.

    • Sacanagem

      Your mouth, God's Ear, etc.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    They're still going on CSPAN. Go Villaraigosa. Shit, I might call CSPAN. Cuz, why not?

    • Guppy

      Friends don't let friends drunk dial C-SPAN.

      • No_Wire_Hangers

        What scared me straight was listening to a few calls…

        • Guppy

          And they were sober!

  • Nostrildamus

    The CEO of Costco is here. Usually he comes in a 10-pack.

    Very impressive for a man his age.

  • TribecaMike

    Some Repub lady caller on C-SPAN is droning on and on about how "Sandra Fluke should pay for her own birth control. She can afford it, blah blah blah."

    For the billionth time, Sandra wasn't talking about herself, numbskull!

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      AH yes! I heard her. She turned out to be terrible. Her sweet midwestern accent had me fooled initially.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Where are the "Mitt Romney's incredibly large penis" prank calls of yesteryear?

      • C_R_Eature

        Hey, I had CSPAN on my radio on the way to work for that last one. It totally sandbagged me and I almost got into an accident. I had to pull over to laugh it off.
        Bastard.

      • Biff

        Which one of us was that?

    • Iam_Who_Iam

      Focus boys and girls, don’t let the idiots distract us with their crazy talk. The point is she is paying for her birth control; don’t let anyone forget that this plan is the Republican’s own “personal responsibility” health care plan. Sandra Fluke and any woman who pays her insurance premiums are paying for their own damn birth control.

      This is not a government handout, they are not giving away free birth control pills at the corner drug store via the U.S. Government (I wish they were, but that would of been the Democrats plan and we couldn't get that passed). A woman buys insurance and her premiums pay for that birth control. If someone qualifies for a subsidy to pay for their insurance, then yea! But the greatest percentage of folks benefiting from this policy are acting responsibly by purchasing health insurance with their own hard earned dollars.

      This law protects hard working people who pay for their own insurance and expect to be adequately covered for paying those premiums. Screw those assholes who are trying to turn this into some kind of welfare initiative, those idiots are wrong and I am tired of folks responding to their b.s. like it’s a legitimate concern, it’s bullshit.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Paul from Scranton just gave CSPAN what for!

  • TribecaMike

    For folks who like stuff like that, C-SPAN is showing Biden practicing his cues on stage. It's 1:22 am, Joe, go to bed!

    1:24 am, Joe took my advice. Keep doing that, Joe.

  • Doktor Zoom

    OK, off to bed, kids, and just wanted to thank you for being gentle.

    It was my first time, and you made that shit special.

    • TribecaMike

      Thanks for the good stuff, Dok. Nighty night.

    • T3rbo

      Hey man, there has to be a morning after. Get the fuck back here and cuddle

    • MosesInvests

      Good on ya, Dok.

  • rickmaci

    "It's the arithmetic, stupid." WJC.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Hell, after that speech, even I wanted to suck Clinton's peen.

  • Negropolis

    BTW, just for reference, Elizabeth Warren's best line of the night, IMO:

    After all, Mitt Romney’s the guy who said corporations are people. No, Governor Romney, corporations are not people. People have hearts. They have kids. They get jobs. They get sick. They thrive. They dance. They live. They love. And they die. And that matters. That matters. That matters because we don’t run this country for corporations, we run it for people.

    • Serfville

      Agreed. That paragraph needs to go straight to Prez Ad & to her campaign Ad. I hear she's behind in the polls. I really hope she wins.

      • Negropolis

        I want her on a white or black background, shot from the shoulders up, delivering thing in a steady tone, and then the image fading out when she's finished. She needs something simple and to the point to change the dynamics of of her race. It's time to stop playing on Scott Browns petty level and elevating thing thing above his stupid, little head.

        • Serfville

          Call up her campaign & give them your ideas. These people running campaigns are idjets. They can be the smartest people on the planet & have stupid hacks running their campaigns & lose. It's probably that Rethug stealing elections crap going on. Really I will puke if Brown wins. Smug monster truck wielding bastard.

          • Arborista

            Speaking of idjets: http://bit.ly/QaPuDx

          • Serfville

            Ugh!

          • Negropolis

            Oh, god. This is why I don't like one-party states. It means those parties don't have to think. Look at what has happened down in Rhode Island. I loves me some Dems, but I don't love it when races are so uncompetitive that your political brain just atrophies, and where the petty turf wars within your own party become wars.

    • MosesInvests

      FTW.

  • LibertyLover

    "Bill, you goddamn moderate sellout and zipper slave, you disappointed me, but I’d still vote for you, you crazy bastard."

    Damn. I would too. Over and Over again.

    • Serfville

      Shine on you crazy diamond!

    • Serfville

      Loved your minute by minute analysis & snark! Arithmetic & facts what are those? Please explain?

  • Serfville

    Ha Ha I just went to my Email, there's Clinton hittin' me up for a 5 spot. Jeez, you mean he thought of ME after that speech?

  • AlterNewt
    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Oh my God, Clinton bowed to a Muslim Caliph? What ever happened to American Exceptionalism?

  • T3rbo

    I just watched a summary of Clinton's speech on the local Fox News affiliate. Take that, motherfuckers-you HAVE to cover Clinton's speech, because it's Bill Clinton. Same station that didn't play ANYTHING from Mitt's speech-they had a lot of empty chair footage.
    Mormon White House Takeover FAIL

  • tessiee

    "Sigh. Coke Zero will never be beer."

    Hell, it will never even be Coke.

  • HarryButtle

    We're now 1321 comments in and I don't expect anybody will even read this, but I just want to be a part of the thread. That was a hella speech…and a hella live blog.

    • stopthemovie

      I read you lound and clear

    • BaldarTFlagass

      You're right. I didn't read your comment.

      • bobbert

        Wonkette doesn't allow comments.

    • gullywompr

      Too long, didn't read.

  • sbj1964

    "And that's the way it is" September 5, 2012. If only Walt were here to see it?

    • LibertyLover

      We're showing our age, friend. ;)

  • AznMom420

    Bubba really laid it down for Obama tonight, it's amazing what happens when your elder statesmen don't all have to hide in shame after their terms are up. Whatever happened to those president(s) bush(es) ?

    • Crank_Tango

      I'm upfisting you for your name alone : )

    • LibertyLover

      They sent Jeb instead. He's on deck to ruin the economy next.

  • shebeers

    Much better show than that white-trash circus last week. GREAT JOB, Doktor Zoom!

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    I shudder to think what kind of huge-as-fuck dirty bomb the Kochs, the Adelsons and the US Chamber of Commerce are going come up with in response to all these rockin' quotable speeches. The best the right-wing pundits have come up with so far is squeeling "LIARS!!" and calling people nasty names in a most unimaginative fashion.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Comments on Faux Nation are hysterically offensive and idiotic. "Choose Obama and you will face a painful early death and an eternity in Helll." And did you know liberals are putting Sandra Fluke on a peddle stool?

      Mitt should read the shit his "supporters" are spewing.

      • Negropolis

        A peddle stool, eh? You see, the libruls are the real sexists. We're making Sandra Fluke patch path and mend our tattered clothing.

      • Doktor Zoom

        A pedal stool would be a way to get a good cardio workout and generate electricity…

  • Calapine

    I want to be Bill Clinton's personal assistant!

  • James Michael Curley

    Amazing bit of time and space travel. Bill Clinton steps on to the stage in a large arena in Charlotte NC and two minutes later he's standing at the end of your favorite bar talking it up with you and your best buddies.

  • Poindexter718

    Right about now, 6:18 local time, a limo with a vanity plate of WJC and "Pussy Wagon" painted on the back is dropping Sandra Fluke off at the Charlotte Residence Inn. She clutches a single red rose and a long, fragrant cigar close to her bossom.
    Her mind has been blown

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Did I hear Bill Clinton hit on Michelle Obama in a room full of thousands of people last night?! I believe I did!
    http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7420688n

    (sorry about the ad)

    • James Michael Curley

      She had the grace to look embarrassed. Monica just looked smug.

    • sullivanst

      That took some brass.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Again with the oral sex? This guy never quits.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Quelle surprise!

  • DahBoner

    Finally, The Closer, Foster Brooks….

    ARE YOU GOING TO VOTE FOR A GUY WHO MAKES HIS OWN BEER OR FOR A GUY WHO CLAIMS HE DON'T DRINK BEER?????

  • Biff

    Bless her heart.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Good morning, you filthly sluts!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Today we are all filthy slutz.

  • James Michael Curley

    A long seldom stated element of the 1996 budget stand off between Newt and Clinton was a small change on the regulations for IRA's. It authorized the financial institution in which you had your IRA (401(k)'s, SEP IRA's and many others were included) to collect an annual 'management' fee of $40 and an additional brokerage fee of a monthly commission of $20 even if you did not trade any instruments. This in a time when everyone was ending their fees to be competitive and brokerage fees were tumbling. I'm not sure of the exact fees and those are the best estimates I can remember. But, in essence, many long dormant IRA's were going to be reanimated as cash cows for the financial institutions. I knew a guy in the West Wing at that time and he said it was a major component of the decision to veto the budget. It came back with the whole section removed only to be revived in Dubya's proposals for 'privatized' Social Security accounts. The Bush White House, if I remember correctly, did not even bother to rewrite the proposals as they posted them on the White House website.

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    Can we please bring back Clinton for a 3rd time….. 8 years of Dubya and 4 years of Barry are ENOUGH!!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      You hoping you might still get some action from Clinton?

      • Peckerwood_Pete

        If your definition of action is a decent economy, then sure…

        • thatsitfortheother1

          No, my definition is this time, you get the cigar.

          • Peckerwood_Pete

            I knew that cigar… that cigar was a sex toy of mine… you sir, are no cigar.

  • LibertyLover

    After that speech last night, I'm not sure that I have any eggs left in my ovaries, but I'd gladly give one up for Bill Clinton and have his baby.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Three words:

      Sperm Bank.

  • OneDollarJuana

    David Brooks is a dick. Correction. Prick.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Yeah, he was especially dickish last night. Any vestiges of respect I had for him after he said his son worships Boehner(!) are gone now.

      (Too bad Rahm didn't shank him when he had the chance.)

  • Oblios_Cap

    Some sort of unpleasantness between Owls and another poster. I sort caught the end of it.

  • VeraSevera

    Apropos of nothing did anyone catch the interview with the spokesperson from the Human Rights Campaign on Fox News? A nice lady asked him about "santorum" and he said actually in cases of legitimate sodomy the gay male body has ways of "shutting that down." Thought I'd share.

  • Mojopo

    I didn't get to comment last night because I was licking my TV.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    So I've noticed a few libtards griping on the Interenets about the "Yeah, Rah! Compromise!" part of Clinton's remarks, and they're pretty much all missing the point.

    The point was twofold:
    One, it managed to completely shame the RNC, who not only failed to mention their most recent president, let alone in glowing terms, but didn't really mention any of his predecessors, either. Even Reagan only got a couple of passing references. By talking W and HW up, he managed to but the spotlight on a Republican Party that refuses to acknowledge any of the modern legacy of the Republican Party.

    Also too the Republicans pitched one over the plate by talking about how Wonderful and Bipartisan Clinton was, unlike that Devil Obamao. He'd have been an idiot not to swing at it. But coming back with the claim that he totally did compromise and Republicans now refuse to, for whatever reason, he rebutted with a subtext that Republicans today are even more intransigant than the ones who IMPEACHED him. It's a much more blistering attack than it seems at first blush.

    Anyway, tl;dr, stop whining, libtards, Obama's not actually going to sell out on core issues even if Bubba said "compromise" for a few minutes last night.

  • CripesAmighty

    How many earthlings can give a 45 minute policy wonk lecture, keeping millions rapt and leaving a raftm of orgasms in their wake? Exactly One: William Jefferson Clinton. The Big Dog Roars! (sorry,no snark, but that was just crazy awesome)

  • ttommyunger

    Mitten's dick is HOW big, Liz?