LET THE SWOONING COMMENCE  9:22 pm September 5, 2012

DNC Night Two: The Professor and Hillary Clinton’s Husband

by Doktor Zoom

We dunno, it just seemed a logical juxtapositionWelcome, Wonketteers, to the Now-Slightly-More-Godly DNC, Night Two! They are letting the new guy run the liveblog tonight, and the new guy does not even have cable! If there’s any kind of over-the air signal, we will at least have PBS or something, otherwise, it’s an NPR / DNC livestream blog.

9:20 There is someone speaking Spanish! Do we press “1″ or panic now? Oh, it is a Spanish Lesson to say “forward” and “backward” in espanol. I feel smarter already.

9:25: “Don’t Boo, Vote!” Yes, we like her.

9:30: Now we are buying a car online. Wait, this sounds like an ad. Ah, now we see — A CEO is telling us that he built it, but that he needed roads and bridges and the government to be partners. He will not be invited to play in Galt’s Gulch, will he?

9:32: It’s the auto bailout. Ordinary but largely telegenic Americans are glad. And now, an Ohio UAW thug! As thugs go, she is pretty easy on the eyes. But watch out for her if you’re selling trinkets at a teabagger rally.

9:40 UAW Head Thug! And he has very dubious stage presence, even if he’s praising one of the good old progressive Republicans that are extinct today. He is saying things that we agree with, but we need a soda pop. We didn’t know we would be liveblogging or we would have stocked up on beer. Mmmmm. Why doesn’t anyone deliver beer? That would help the economy.

9:45 Walking across the room makes the digital antenna signal go kerflooey. Then it came back on when we sat down. No one can explain the science of this. We must pray. UAW head thug is saying more things that are good but anodyne. Sigh. Coke Zero will never be beer.

9:47 Randy Johnson was laid off by Mitt Romney, which is why he is no longer the Big Unit. Cindy Hewitt didn’t even know who Mitt Romney was when he started running, and then she heard he ran Bain, which fired her. Why don’t these people understand that that is just the way Capitalism works? They should borrow money from their parents. David Foster is a guy we would have a beer with (sob!)

9:52 David Brooks finally got his wish, and people are talking about jobs. They are not talking about jobs the way David Brooks would like them to. We are “abstracted from this particular moment,” he says. Probably because he has to settle for freakin’ Coke Zero when he really wants a New Belgium “1554″ ale. Or because he is a twerp.

9: 58 Luke Russert has shared his wisdom with us via the Twitterz:

Speaker at #DNC2012 suggests #Romney makes money with no moral compass. A stretch considering his tithes so much or fair game?

If you give money to your gay-bashing church while you throw people out of jobs, you can’t really be all that bad.

10:05 Sandra Fluke is here, and the character-assassination drones have already been launched. She is bringing some grade-A angry here, and we like that.

10:08 We do feel compelled to point out that quantum theory suggests that both of those futures actually could exist in a multiverse. Star Trek would not lie about this.

10:10 The CEO of Costco is here. Usually he comes in a 10-pack.

10:12 David Brooks are you listening? Here is a man talking about how capitalism can be successful when it pays its employees a living wage. One might even think that the well-being of consumers has something to do with the economy, maybe? Aaaand now he’s kind of rambling and losing us with this list. His talking points come in a bulk pack.

10:15 We will now just plain melt with love for Elizabeth Warren.

10:21 Um. We are supposed to be snarking, but damned if we aren’t just rapt. Here is a woman who plainly and simply knows how to take a simple truth — “The game is rigged” — and back it up. This is some kind of class warfare, because she is pointing it out.

10:24 Why is she not stomping Scott Brown by 20 points? This is class warfare we can believe in.

10:27 (OK, that nervous tongue-over-your-teeth thing? Distracting. We still love you, don’t worry. But it’s a little schoolmarmish, maybe.)

10:30 “We build it together” — that is a good reply. Somebody should have said that the first time around…

10:33 This is like that Price-Waterhouse thing at the Oscars, kinda. Only shorter.

10:34 Jebus Christ THAT SONG!!!!!!!

10:35 Freakin’ Fleetwood Mac just shook loose the recollection that there is still a half bottle of scotch in the kitchen.

10:37 Bill, you goddamn moderate sellout and zipper slave, you disappointed me, but I’d still vote for you, you crazy bastard.

10:39 This man gives good speech. Mr. Brooks, did you notice the logical case for an economic policy there? Oh, did you remember your scotch, too? Yummmm.

10:45 We want to go be cooperative with someone right now, if you know what we mean. And we think you do.

10:47: Oh, yes, just wanted to add, SUCK IT PUMAS!

10:50 Bill is just having so much fun, and making this look easy. There should be, like, a Senior Presidential Tour where former presidents like Bill can do this from time to time.

10:55 Jim N from Wonkette’s Sekrit Headquarters sez “this fucking guy is going to go on for 100 hours.”

10:56 Bill is downshifting into Explanation Mode. OK, the scorekeeper thing was fun. At some point, like, say, Hour 50, “Let me tell you one more thing” is going to elicit only a sad, painful laugh.

11:00 We suddenly remember when the term “policy wonk” entered the national vocabulary.

11:03 Quoting commenter fuflans for truth: “and go ahead fact checkers: fact check away.”

11:05 This is the most fact-based speech of either convention. Remember when facts were considered persuasive? We suddenly feel like going and reading something that presents a logical case for a proposition and deploys compelling evidence to support its argument. We fear that the impulse will pass, however.

11:10 You know what’s weird? WE want to listen, too. Bill Clinton is reviving the ancient art of evidence-based argument, ladies and gentlemen. And it is serious.

11:15 “Now, let’s talk about the debt…” Could we maybe have a bit of Romney-bashing, too? Because we are not used to this “thinking about facts” thing, we are so out of shape in that area.

11:18 We are just going to sit back and let the waves of facts and numbers wash over us. This man is making a strong case for Clinton 2016. No, no, settle down, that is silly. But wouldn’t it be just SO FUCKING COOL if arithmetic could become a dominant theme of this election?

11:22 Commenter Callyson, quoted for truth: “No one can kick the GOP’s ass over deficits better than Bill Clinton”

11:24 MANLY HUG!!! MANLY HUG!!!

11:26 Mercy, mercy, mercy, 48 minutes of policy nerd PORN. Also, could Gwen Ifill please punch David Brooks in the face, HARD?

(With votes of course.)

11:29 Melissa Harris-Perry on the Tweetz: “Ok is it weird that President Clinton started the speech in his 60s but is apparently 40 at the end?”

11:33 Whoooo! Um, Wonketteers, was that good for YOU, too? Christ, we don’t even smoke and we need a ciggy. Thank you for making my premier debut (really, one should be precise about these things) as a livebloggennator so damn much fun. OK, Bill helped. Goodnight, you filthly sluts!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 1421 comments }

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I'm learning lots of Espanol!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Si!

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Que?

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I'm waiting to see Elizabeth Warren take off and Nuke Them from Orbit.

Warren/Ripley 2016!

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Oh my god i want t-shirts!

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:59 pm

How about This then?

bibliotequetress September 6, 2012 at 8:24 am

I LOVE IT! We may need to make a trip to Cafe Press later.

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Elizabeth would burst into a transvaginal wanding procedure and blurt, "Get away from her you bitch!"

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Fifty Shades of Blue.

viennawoods13 September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Best catfight ever.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 2:42 am

it is the only way to be sure…

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"We didn't do it alone"

God, it is so refreshing to see a businessperson give credit where credit is due. Our economy would be in much better shape if Wall Street followed suit…

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Wall Street doesn't need roads or bridges: they create money out of air.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

They created money out of air, sold it to the 'effin' world, then shorted the whole pile of chit and watched the fireworks from their gated villas. Fukkers!!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 6, 2012 at 2:56 am

I know…I always thought that self made bullshit was just mythos for the wealth worshippers but it's really an expression of rank egotism. I mean most of these guys started out as ball chowder for a wealthy father and were given every advantage a human in this society could want. How can RMoney and Ryan be so duplicitious as to try and convince people they're brave cowboys who made themselves? They're so, so very out of touch they might actually believe such mythical bullshit…like a modern day Odyssey with a huge difference: Ulysses is a delusional moron who acts like he found his way home by himself when his entire crew and the gods did it for him…

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

What's with the car commercial? Get the used car salesman to at least say something in Spanish.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

PBS. David Brooks provides plenty of material.

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I wish someone would kick this guy in the nutsack, I can't stand this guy.

Sparky McGruff September 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Material for what, exactly? Plugging a drain?

Nibbler of Niblonia September 6, 2012 at 9:59 am

His sole skill seems to be: Democrat says x, David Brooks pretends they aren't talking about x, and then David Brooks says, "I wish he would have talked about x."

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Is it Wrong of me to hear this song in my head every time I see Bill Clinton?

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:29 pm

HE HAS A SQUARE SHAPED HEAD does Mr. Carmax millionaire man.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:29 pm

The CarMax guy is giving a solid talk.

My favorite of the night so far is Sister Simone Campbell.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 12:48 am

Sister Simone totally rocked my world! If you gotta have a religion, she's a pretty good role model…

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:30 pm

And coming up soon…those former employees at companies controlled by Romney’s Bain Capital…

What a beautiful evening…

shelwood46 September 5, 2012 at 9:30 pm

The Daily Caller has accused Julian Castro of not being sufficiently Latino because he is not fluent in Spanish. Pay attention to tonight's lesson, Julian, and maybe you'll become brown enough for Tucker Carlson.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Tucker, eres un idiota. Vete a la mierda.

zippy_w_pinhead September 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm

pinche pendejo

MosesInvests September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Chinga tu madre, cabron!

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Token rich white guy is finished now.

Barbara_ September 5, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Sandra Fluke is going to give someone a smack down.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I am impatiently waiting to view that beautiful sight…

Barbara_ September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Me too, Callyson!

emmelemm September 5, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Dok Zooooooom!

{holds lighter in air}

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I should totally be in this video, 2008 destroyed my career! Drink!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Glad they're featuring the Auto Bailout. That concept of cascading effects is something the GOP'ers like to friggin ignore.

…and they used Fox News clips to prove it worked. Ohhhhh burn!

NorthStarSpanx September 5, 2012 at 9:32 pm

It's good to have the refreshers in how to trash competent, able, accomplished people who happen to be a D. It's always interesting to see how Devil's Advocacy works.

Que the vicious, nasty backlash on the speakers tonight and in the morning.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Let them spew – they're going to fucking LOSE in November.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"Are you better off than you were four years ago? Yes, we are"

Love him…

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

They are really, really, really grasping at poison ivy here. He// yes, we're better off. Look at the numbers, although I do realize that the 'cons live in bizzarro world.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Oh, it's Austin Ligon from CarMax — for whom I was a contractor for a while. What's funny is that CarMax was created and spun off by Radio Shack, who used their new invention to offload their sketchy employees and rogue executives. Radio Shack went on to invent DivX, a clunky and expensive subscription DVD service back when everyone was trying to figure out how to do DRM. They never recovered from this failure, and sank into dissolution.

CarMax, flawed as they may be, continues to operate. I'm impressed to see a business executive from a fairly conservative milieu endorse Obama — not because he's obviously better for business, but because executives' mindset is often knee-jerk Republican regardless of what makes sense.

DustBowlBlues September 5, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Is that the guy talking now?

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

He was just on for a few moments — the person now (just leaving the podium) is the head of the UAW.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm

The UAW lady is doing well. Man, that's jumping into the deep end of public speaking

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 9:36 pm

cspan you idjit: http://www.c-span.org/DNC/

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:37 pm

UNIONS!!! Are good things! They made America!! We own this!

ILWU representing! SEIU too!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 9:43 pm
bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm

AFGE, babycakes! We're AFL-CIO.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 9:59 pm

And people died to make them work! Right on.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:37 pm

"Standing for right when it's unpopular is a true test of character"

Nice slap at Mittens…

T3rbo September 5, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Why are there no signs for people to hold up that say "Mitt Romney is an Asshole!"??

finallyhappy September 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

that is why I make my own signs for every rally- how much is some poster board and a sharpie??

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Because unlike Clint Eastwood and the rest of the asshats in the Republican party, the Democrats are ladies and gentlemen and our families taught us manners.

T3rbo September 6, 2012 at 1:59 am

Oh, I thought it would be ok to make Tea Party style signs for the convention.
"Romney is a DIRTY FUCKING MEXICAN FASCIST" would have been ok, in this sardonic fantasy

T3rbo September 6, 2012 at 2:07 am

Also, I meant it in a good way. He poops out jobs.

T3rbo September 6, 2012 at 2:00 am

Yeah, this is probably why I am not a delegate. Everyone would have a nice printed sign that says "Forward" or whatever, we would have a sharpie sign that says "Romney SUCKS KOCH!"

pepperpat September 6, 2012 at 10:41 am

Just glue some glitter to it and no one will notice.

DustBowlBlues September 5, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I just heard from Al Gore that the Costco CEO is more fantastic than I'd thought, even. Unionized work force! Such a cool company–I'm sure that's why there are no Costcos in the Dust Bowl. {hangs head over keyboard and silently weeps.}

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Costco has some great deals on line and shipping is often free….

DustBowlBlues September 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Thanks for the tip. I didn't know that. Wonder if they deliver the giant bags of cat food I have to buy at Walfuckingmart.

DustBowlBlues September 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

People around here belong to Sam's Club. I gave it a tour and found it depressing and woefully short on choices. I was expecting Costco, so that's probably why it looked so awful, in contrast. BTW–I haven't been back to creepy Walmart since that one tour.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Sam's Club is part of Chinamart. Costco is awesome; they're a company with integrety; their product quality is superb and the prices are excellent. It's like a treasure hunt every time you go there because they always have new stuff. Also too, there's the myriad of food samples.

Bezoar September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Love Costco, you should see their collection of commercial restaurant and cooking equipment in the big Seattle store, the one in Tukwila. I just bought a steam table pan to use as a giant bread loaf pan. 6 cups of flour, one cup of oats, giant loaf. Teenage boys eat one per day.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

I'm near one of those towns that the walmartians have killed off. The only time I'll go in is if it will save me a trip to Vegas, 65 miles away. That's the same reason I don't have a Costco membership, no way I'm doing a 130 mile turnaround for shopping..

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I'm about 65 miles from the nearest Costco (in Manteca). I still have my membership — I stop on the way back from San Jose every couple months and stock up on canned goods and wine, mostly.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 9:47 pm

C'mon down to Tucson. I spent part of the day cleaning baseboards in anticipation for having my rugs allergy-cleaned tomorrow, so I can attest that we have plenty of dust here. You'll feel right at home and we have at least three Costcos.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:20 am

Hey there–I knew you lived in AZ but did not know exactly where. Tucson is an oasis in what would be a nice state if it could get rid of Maricopa County.

Message from someone who lived in Tempe for three years and HAD to get the fuck out, even at the expense of leaving a long – term relationship, for my own sanity…

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 12:55 am

FREE BAJA ARIZONA!

Pres.Beeblebrox September 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Don't forget you can buy caskets at Costco… burial on the cheap!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Cristina Saralegui 4 Craft Brewers!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I would just like to take minute to announce that I have copies of Mittens tax returns for sale for $1.99 per year. Surprisingly he used the 1040EZ form for the last 19 years.

T3rbo September 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

What did he write in under "occupation?" Asshole?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:20 am

"Unemployed."

zippy_w_pinhead September 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm

that's much cheaper than the million dollars those anonymous hackers wanted- must be the free market in action

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Immigrants (undocumented! GASP!) and Unions, Elizabeth and Bill, Doktor Zoom and my tv! Allrighty! I am so excited and pleased and my kids are all asleep! YAY! I love this! I am such a huge dork! WHATEVER! Yay!

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

You are so much more than a dork. But, go on….

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I'm totally with you sistah! This is great! Pushing back on the media bullshit that Faux News and right-wing radio spew.

littlebigdaddy September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

And abortions and teh gheys!

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

All sorts of warm fuzzy, and so proud to have been a Democrat before I could even vote. And against considerable ongoing family pressure. "Are you STILL a Democrat," my 90-year aunt asks, in the same tone of voice she would ask if I were turning tricks.

Geminisunmars September 6, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Just say to her "No, not any more. My pimp won't let me."

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 6:02 am

If you are a dork, I don't want to be that other thing that is the opposite of a dork.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Now will there be refreshments?

T3rbo September 5, 2012 at 9:43 pm

just drink every time they say "union." you'll be good.

T3rbo September 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm

they stopped saying union. come on, guys, help me out

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm

It's working for me!

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Everytime you see a woman. Sorry, you'll wind up in the emergency room with alcohol poisoning…..

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Bob King seem buzzed to anyone else?

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I'm worried that the DNC hasn't paid any attention to the all-important Cephalopod demographic.

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Cthulhu approves of this message.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

OBAMA FHTAGN!

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Is that the same as the anti-circumcision demographic?

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Tentacles. Uncut.

bikerlaureate September 5, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Sister Campbell was great.
The lineup tonight is actually instilling a little hope…

StarsUponThars September 5, 2012 at 11:44 pm

HOPE ON!! HOPE ON!! HOPE ON!!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Slightly OT, Erick Erickson is still an asshole:

Last night, several women spoke at the Democratic National Convention, among them First Lady Michelle Obama and DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz. And Erik Erickson, CNN's token bombastic jagoff conservative decided to present us with some light hearted bon mots about the speaking roster, calling the DNC "The Vagina Monologues." Get it?! Because ladies were talking? God, that cutting-edge comic Erik Erikson has his finger on the pulse of up the butt of America.

http://jezebel.com/5940769/cnns-resident-conserva

Asshole.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Erick needs a starring role in "The Vagina Dentata Monologues"

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm
Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:22 am

Oh, *that* is evil…hee hee hee…

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Why are peanut-dicked men so afraid of women? Mommy issues?

shelwood46 September 5, 2012 at 11:41 pm

I liked the Jezebel article today that quoted MLK Jr's wingnut niece, who criticized our President for all the babies that weren't born because they were "contracepted or aborted or not conceived in the first place". Barack Hussein Obama: Cockblocker.

Chichikovovich September 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm

or not conceived in the first place

We should build a graveyard with a million crosses to commemorate the nameless victims of abstinence education.

Doktor Zoom September 5, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Well, no, THOSE kids got pregnant right quick.

Chichikovovich September 6, 2012 at 12:00 am

Very true. What was I thinking?

It should be more properly a graveyard with a million crosses to commemorate the nameless victims of abstinence.

[P.S. - that was some mighty fine liveblogging you did there Zoom mon chum]

T3rbo September 6, 2012 at 2:03 am

Total chumps! Do they think this is winning them any angry white male votes? It sure as hell is losing EVERY female voter within earshot of this nonsense, and they can't stop doing it. Too bad we couldn't find a Barack Obama that is blacker-it would drive them even crazier: they would not be able to avoid the N word after about ten minutes

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Oh yeah, former employees from companies fucked over by Bain…

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Happy news for Arizona Dems. I saw Gabby Giffords sitting with our delegation.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

That's the best news I've heard this week! I posted a link to Wonkville that I can't find now – of course – of Gabby Giffords and her husband on top of a mountain in Europe recently. Huge grin. The woman is all kinds of awesome.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I saw that picture. It was some astronaut conference in Switzerland. Giffords and Kelly just spent their book money on a $1M+ house in historic neighborhood in Tucson (the city, not the 'burbs, of which we have plenty). I think it's good news that we might have Kelly running for something. I definitely think he's a future candidate.

Doktor Zoom September 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Would that be in Sam Hughes (or as we always said, "Barrio Volvo")?

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 1:56 am

No, El Encanto.I haven't figured out which house, though.There aren't that many.I never heard Barrio Volvo.LOVE IT.

T3rbo September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

oh snap, Bain Capitol victims!

T3rbo September 5, 2012 at 9:46 pm

ooooo! no moral compass! mitt has one, it just points to kalob, which can be disorienting

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Union guy called him perezedent Barack Obama – now the Bain guys!!!!!

OurHoboSenator September 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Gary Glitter! The Democrat party is objectively pro-pedophile!

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

This should be good, "yo, fuck Romney"

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Not even allowed to take their personal items? FFS, I hope they sued the bastards…

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oh, it's the GOOD Randy Johnson.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Did that guy get to take his stapler when they fired him?

GinnehRED57 September 5, 2012 at 9:46 pm

I NEED A CRAFTBREW, dammit.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I'll share a virtual Crown Royal whit chew

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

The President's chef gave you the White House home brew recipe. What else do you want? Time to make the stuff??
http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/09/01/ale-chi

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:46 pm

"America cannot afford Romney economics"

Too true, brother, too true…

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

I would like to take a moment to thank the goddess that he didn't call it Romneyomics.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Making money without a moral compass! Yep, that encapsulates it right there.

emmelemm September 5, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Coke Zero will never be beer.

That is 100% true.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

My bartender has been lying to me all this time?

emmelemm September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

If your bartender successfully turns Coke Zero into beer, he may in fact be the second coming of Jesus.

Perhaps the Rapture is closer than we imagine!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Is that a promise?

emmelemm September 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Pray hard and you'll find out.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Clinton: "Okay ladies, just one more, but then I have GOT to get out on stage."

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Creating jobs in the plant shutting down field is Willard's forte.

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Sorry Randy , Romney IS A BAD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm

"…making life tougher for working Americans. That is not the kind of experience we need in the White House"

Preach it, sister!

GinnehRED57 September 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Can haz hashtag? The Tweeter is full of Ann Coulter barfing egg sacs.

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Yes. Ann Coulter now hates nuns.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Lady, I sympathize, but I disagree with you on one thing — it is wrong to swoop in on a profitable company and ruin it for your own gain. If there was one thing I'd severely restrict about current capitalism, it would be the rapacious disaggregation of profitable companies employing people for the gain of a few speculators.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

There ain't no CEO worth what they're getting paid, either.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 6:12 am

Just tax the shit out of CEO pay greater than 20:1 ratio of the lowest paid employee or independent contractor anywhere in any closely related entity.

And ban people from serving on the board of more than one publicly traded company. That shit is incest.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 9:08 am

And ban people from serving on the board of more than one publicly traded company. That shit is incest.

That shit is the new Aristocracy. It's not what you know, it's who you know. And who your Daddy bl-/knew.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Don't mess with the Steelworkers. Seriously, don't.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

My Grandpap, my Daddy, and three of my uncles were steelworkers … Crucible Steel, Midland, PA. Yeah, you didn't mess with any of them. Dad got my brothers summer jobs in the mill when they were in college. He said it was to insure they didn't drop out. And they didn't.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Haha! A friend of mine spent a summer on a fish cannery boat in Alaska. She started college in the fall.

starfanglednut September 6, 2012 at 1:55 am
IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:50 pm

I love me some David Foster. Mustache rides anyone?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

John Bolton libel!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Eee-uuuwww
(rubs eyes)

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

You just ruined it for me. Thanks very little!!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Future President Franken in the crowd pressing the flesh…

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Slightly OT, but if you can, watch the movie "Trading Places" which I've watched every Christmas for almost 30 years. Future President Franken plays a drunk baggage handler and it's awesome! Plus, there's young Jamie Lee Curtis' naked boobies. It's actually a very timely movie.

Here's the trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjDbJQKDXCY

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:27 am

I fucking LOVE that movie, though it depresses me that it is still relevant and timely today…

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Al Franken was trying to pick his nose, but noticed the camera on him

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I almost posted this exact comment but I knew someone would beat me to it.

An_Outhouse September 5, 2012 at 10:02 pm

that late night tv training comes in handy some times

deanbooth September 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Nah. He was drawing a map of the USA inside his nose.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

"they used some of that borrowed millions to pay themselves bonuses…fired steelworkers while they pocketed profits"

This clip needs to go into an attack ad, stat…

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I agree. Very clear explanation

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Romneyeconomics?
Mittenseconomics?
Mittnomics?
Willardeconomics?
Mittmics?
Romonomics?
Pissonyounomics?
I got nothing

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm

My late mother-in-law got screwed out of her husband's pension from the Chicago steel mills because of Bain. I got a dog in this fight.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm

My wife lost her retirement thanks to Rick Scott at HCA. I hear ya.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

I hope you are telling EVERYONE about this, and I hope you are in a swing state.

Sorry about your MIL.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

(In So Cal – with my peeps.) My mother-in-law's family, who used to be Dems in Chicago, turned Republican when they moved to Florida. It's really, really hard to keep it civil during the holidays.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I hear ya. Just try not to "go there."

The pilots at American Airlines lost their pensions in the AA bankruptcy. The airline has billions in cash and the plan is underfunded by millions, so of course, all of that DEFERRED COMPENSATION will just go to the shareholders or the CEO's pocket or the Caymen Islands, whatever.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:29 am

(sending internet hug)

Ouch…sorry to hear that, neighbor (I'm in Los Angeles, welcome to the state that the Reeps love to hate…)

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 12:46 am

We should organize a Wonkette meet-up!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Mustache Romney victim guy is a good speaker.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Bottom Line: Romney is just a Gorden Gecko clone.

Self-Uploader September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I think he might have been the actual inspiration for the character. (Not snark.)

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Without Gecko's charm or style

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Here's a phrase that's woefully underused today, but was commonplace in the 1980s – CORPORATE RAIDER. That's our Mitt Rmoney. a CORPORATE RAIDER!!

BathroomGoblin September 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I have my xtube account open in another tab if anyone is interested.
Oh, David Brooks. Never mind.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Did someone say there seems to be a lot of Marylanders on the stage tonight? Funny, being that its a safe state.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm

But an awesome one that's home to a lot of Dem leaders of various sorts

finallyhappy September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

and me and Terry- so lots of awesome Dems of all sorts

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Hugs, hon

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Go Terps!

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Safe, but there's an awful lot of talent here.

EDIT: And also, me!

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

And a team that just tied the Yankees for first place!! Go, Orioles!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Speaking of Lyin' Ryan…a post on fitspo said it all:

All I need to know about Paul Ryan is that he is the kind of man who would lie about doing a 2:50 marathon.
DON'T FUCK WITH RUNNERS.

Yeah, what that person said…

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Oh com'on, it was only an hour difference.

viennawoods13 September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Been some great columns on the New Yorker website about that.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Oooh, must check that out, thanks for the heads-up.

viennawoods13 September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Here's the guy: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/bios/nicholas_t…. He is totally on Ryan's case about this.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:31 am

Ryan told Hugh Hewitt in an August interview that he had run a marathon in “under three, high twos.” But then, after an investigation by Runner’s World, Ryan admitted he’d actually run 4:01:25.

How happy am I to see my subscriber dollars put to good work?

Also:

“He didn’t run that” is perhaps the most common joke.

Shit, maybe I should subscribe to the New Yorker too…

Oh, and fuck P90X, also, too…

shelwood46 September 5, 2012 at 11:49 pm

He's in trouble with mountain climbers, too. Lied about summitting 40 14,000ft+ mountains in CO. Next we're going to find out he wasn't really the first man on the moon.

HistoriCat September 6, 2012 at 10:08 am

Most of us only tell those kind of lies to impress girls … and we usually get over it in our 20s.

Nostrildamus September 6, 2012 at 1:32 am

DON'T FUCK WITH RUNNERS.

Better advice for the GOP would be DON'T RUN WITH FUCKERS.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

MSNBC is interviewing Al Franken. "There is a real theme here…" (Yes, fuck the Republican machine)

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

David Brooks is on PBS whining, but Gwen Ifill sort of called him on it.

Barrelhse September 5, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Ifill, Gwen. heh.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Was that Geraldo? Damn.

finallyhappy September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Chris was my state senator and soon will be my congressman(redistricting)

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I feel like I've insulted Brooks intelligence enough. What the fucks up with his teeth?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Vampire

BoroPrimorac September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Red Wine and ass kissing.

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm

He forgot to brush after dinner and he probably didn't whiten, also.

Sharkey September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm
Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

David Brooks is trying to cover Romney's ass for all those victim speeches and it sounds like he's choking on his lies.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

David Brooks on PBS has looked at the schedule, seen that Obama's program is going to be laid out tomorrow, so takes the approach that "I don't see any program here," even though he admits it's going to be described later. Way to present a credible argument, Brooks.

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

He has been whining that the Dems haven't talked about the economy. Well, they are talking about it now and the asshat is whining. Why won't Gwen Ifill just bitch-slap him?

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 3:24 am

She might if he does that "most folks do things this way" whiny thing again tomorrow.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

"Congressman Ryan, America is literally in your debt"

Nice…let's hope the mushy middle hears that line…

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Shouldn't that be: Congressman Ryan, America's debt is literally yours?

Only Congress can spend money and it's distressing how few citizens know that.

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Lawrence O'Donnell interviewing Al Franken, who so wants to crack jokes but can't.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Dog forbid that a Senator would have sense of humor!

PuckStopsHere September 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm

This whole thing is lifting my spirits, making me proud to be an American again and etc. I love the Demo Natl. Convention. Bring on President Clinton!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Big! Dog! Big! Dog!

Barrelhse September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Drop a couple of aspirin in that Coke-0 and you'll get shitfaced.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I thought the aspirin and Coke thing was to get high school girls horny.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:35 am

But according to Foster Friess, the girls will put that aspirin between their knees. Sounds counterproductive…or kinky…

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

"Here's the plan…it's on the internet"

Well, there's the problem: except for a few idiot and asshole trolls, the wingnuts don't know how to use the internetz….

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

David Brooks is much more interesting with the sound off.

Nostrildamus September 6, 2012 at 1:34 am

That's why he prefers a ball gag around the house.

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

van Hollen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pukes built the DEBT!!!!!!!!!
Remind the motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not The Commission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Holy Joe! I like Biden – I don't care what anyone says.

Sharkey September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Shut up, guy from Malcolm in the Middle.

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Oh, the plan is on the Internet, that's why the Republcunts didn't get it.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Franken with the Bush Tax Cuts slam! Swoosh!

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

tonight, david brooks ran out of integrity. at least Buckley took his to the grave

what a pussy

An_Outhouse September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

can i have david brooks job? he's such a fuckin' dumb shit and acts like he doesn't want to be there.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Both PBS and CNN are talking over Chris' speech. They talked over Steny mostly, too. I am annoyed.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

CSPAN, if You Can.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Thanks!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

CSPAN!

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Two words: C-SPAN. Or is that one word?

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

c-span , also

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I've been switching back and forth trying to avoid the commentary, but mostly I just keep accidentally turning one or another of the feeds off.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

No there will NOT be a swimsuit competition tonight. Who TOLD you that?

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

You mean the Big Dog's not coming out with abig-boobed escort on either arm, like Stevie Wonder always does?

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

He really ought to.

rickmaci September 5, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Hmm. MSNBC has Al Franken on now. Al sure seems to drinking up all the atmosphere at the convention. A lot.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Shut up PBS – Chris Van Hollen has that Michael Caine thing going on… xoxox

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Not one speaker from the liberal-dominated media? J'accuse!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Share responsibility for reducing the deficit…growing the economy from the ground up…making success possible for all Americans

God, this is all such a breath of fresh air after those idiots and assholes from last week.

(Which reminds me, I hope I did not miss Mayor Nutter. I've been using that "idiots and assholes" quote just about every day…)

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

That's my sage advice to everyone: Watch out for the idiots and the @ssholes; because they're everywhere.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:37 am

Hi–just so you know, Wonkette isn't like HuffyPo–no need to disguise the profanity. In fact, some of us embrace it.

;-)

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 6:21 am

Fuck yeah.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 9:05 am

All of the commenters at Huffy PoPo are obnoxious toddlers.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Zoom, order a pizza and get the pizza guy to bring you beer, duh.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Haha – I heard a story where a guy needed a ride home, so he walked into a pizza parlor, orderd a pizza to be delivered to his house and rode along with the driver to his house. Genius!! Pure 'effin' genius!

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 12:02 am

Damn, NOW I read the comments!

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 1:36 am

Well now you know for next time at least.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 1:37 am

More to the point, now I know to NEVER be out of beer.

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 1:57 am

First thing I learned in the Boy Scouts was "always be prepared"

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Is it wrong if I say that Sandra Fluke is hawt?

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I would totally gay marry her.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:03 pm

If you're wrong, I don't want to be right.

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 10:03 pm

If finding her hawt is wrong, I don't wanna be right-wing.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Sandra! Finally!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

SLUT!

HobbesEvilTwin September 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I think she's on late because she was having sextyime with Bubba.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Sandra Fluke!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

SANDRA !!!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

It's that slut! I luvs her.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Meryl Streep in Silkwood! Kewl!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:02 pm

S.L.U.T.
She may be a slut but she's sure good to me.

TR

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm
tessiee September 6, 2012 at 1:25 am

"You put up such a good clean fight; I'm afraid that you lose tonight"

Amazingly, that song is only tied for best song on that album (with "Wolfman Jack", of course).

Joshua Norton September 5, 2012 at 10:02 pm

In case it hasn't been mentioned in the last 2 or 3 minutes, David Brooks is an idiot.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Still.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Oh she's good…

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:03 pm

In that America, we'd be throwing the witch (and the Jew) down the well.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Never noticed before but damn! Sandra you got it goin on!

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

YESS! Romney slam on the teabagger extremists he won't deny. Ryan slam. Sandra is laying the smacketh downeth!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Gotta be honest, Bill is going to clean up, because barring Christina's speech, most of the others I've heard tonight have been subpar. But, I guess setting the bar so high, yesterday, will do that.

EDIT: Nix that, Sandra Fluke just cut a bitch.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I disagree. The nun was great!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Totally forgot Sister Simone. You are right. That was great, too.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Cristina Saralegui was pretty passionate, and my favorite of the night so far.

BoroPrimorac September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I had no idea she was such a liberal.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I saw her show a handful of times in my life, and while I never understood a word she said, I could tell she knew what she was talking about. That was a great speech, I see why she's gotten as far as she has.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"…but it's not the America that we should be, and it's not the America that we are"

Sing it, Sandra!

CarolinaStewPie September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

She may be a slut, but she is SO VERY LEGITIMATE!

Incitefully_Joe September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

They should totally just have one day of the DNC that is devoted just to an endless parade of people dicked over by Bain Capital.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

"thinks of his daughters, not his delegates, or his donors"

WIN.

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I sort of miss the set of the RNC. I miss the ziggurt podium, down which they roll severed heads, like in Apoctolypto.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

But only if Mel Gibson is one of the honorees

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Wow, great speech!

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:05 pm

ya just know Rush is totally jerking off to this

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Why? I didn't see any Dominican children. Oh wait, maybe that's later.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Not possible, as Rushes genitalia can only be reached by a team of Dominican boys that have been shaved and well oiled.

new_pic_for_NEWTer September 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

How could any gyno-American ever vote for Willard after this… Daughters, not delegates or donors – what a great line.

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Unfortunately, I shared a table with two female Presbyterians who are Repubs at bible study this evening. Because my rector was sitting with me, I couldn't say what I wanted, so I just thought "Jesus loves you too".

Chichikovovich September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Were you reading the parable of the talents?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:41 am

Don't Southerners have a thing where they say "bless your heart" when they mean "fuck you"?

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 10:05 am

Subtext: Jesus loves you. But everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

In your face, pigs!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

So THIS is the day that Rush Limbaugh was going to rue…

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:06 pm

"Thinks of his daughters, not his delegates, or his donors." That's gonna leave a mark.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:07 pm

"A country where the president either has our back, or turns his back"

I am so in love with this woman…

PuckStopsHere September 5, 2012 at 10:07 pm

That is one fine speech that slut is delivering.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Another CEO. Fucking Commies!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Romney contributed to Planned Parenthood, and was pro-choice back in the day – he must be sooooo sorry he decided to go with Lyin' Ryan.

Sharkey September 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm

It's just a Fluke.

An_Outhouse September 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm

up next – old guy!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I didn't know the Costco guy was from my hometown Pittsburgh.

Crap, now I've got to sign up for a membership, stat…

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:08 pm

The CEO of Costco, I can now justify buying muffins by the pallet full

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

There are black folk in Washington state? Who knew?

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

They live over towards Spokane where the rents aren't insane

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

We import them from Canada.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

How aboot that?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Jimi Hendrix and Quincy Jones were from Washington. And that's just the old farts.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Also too, Kurt Cobain/Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Queensryche, and Heart (I'm going to their show at the Puyallup Fair on 9/10). Yay!!

shelwood46 September 6, 2012 at 12:13 am

I didn't know they are black! And that Kurt Cobain is still doing county fairs. Cool :)

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

The Slut spoke well. The Conservatives on FOX from Meghan Kelly to, well, everyone else on the panel, are pissed because she called out Romney for not standing up to Rush Limbaugh and for being a slut.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Product placement!

e_z September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Ms Fluke: "A President that has our backs…or one that turns his back"

Excellent summation by Ms Fluke and not just for woman-for all of us.

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

hopefully i have time to go buy booze before Liz Warren starts!

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Home now…gah, missed Sandra Fluke!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:43 am
SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:10 pm

"Executives who plan and grow — not executives who reap and run." Smack.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Loved that one

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I'm a Costco member. I love reading the liberal bumper stickers in their parking lot.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I must commend you, once again, Dr. Zoom on the excellent photos. I remain in awe.

GinnehRED57 September 5, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Ann Romney's PDA: "Reminder: shop for Mitt's shirts somewhere else."

An_Outhouse September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

oh now i know why he's there. poor romneys. everytime they try to be relatable, someone pulls the rug out beneath them.

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Are you wankets watching this on a live feed or something? All I can see is an orange man with white hair flapping his gums.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

CSpan! Folks just directed me there before David Brooks drove me to drink

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Bubba!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An_Outhouse September 5, 2012 at 10:10 pm

i started a business consisting of big ass buildings filled with shit made in china! check me out!

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 10:09 am

Costco actually exhibits a preference for US-manufactured goods. Plus, they have happy, well-paid employees with good benefits. And Costco insists on doing their own meat inspections. And have a marvelous Return policy!

Zango Crudmonger September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I am gonna get a COSTCO membership now. Awesomeness. I had one years ago, but the insanity of weekend shopping drove me off. But, union, fuck yeah!

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Their quality is excellent and it's like a treasure hunt in there, plus there are delicious food and drink samples everywhere and the best damn hotdog evah with a drink for $1.50. No lie! I love Costco dogs.

ThundercatHo September 6, 2012 at 12:40 am

Our Costco shopping trips are our dates (old and boring, I know) and we have a lot of fun, usually do lunch first so we don't spend too much on food. The executive membership will keep track of your purchases and give you a % back so it pays for itself. There stuff is great and the employees always seem glad to be there.

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I like this CEO of Costco guy. He seems like an actually decent human, has unions and is he reading off a piece of paper? He's adorable.

MissNancyPriss September 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

LOVE him. Where has he been all my life?

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm

And SO QUAINT! Paper AND benefits, I never thought I'd see that again.

MissNancyPriss September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

And it only took the Dems 4 years to find a successful old white coot to put on national tv.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Plus every time the crowd cheers, he puts up his hand to shush them. Some people are CEOs and some people are public speakers.

Joshua Norton September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

And you know Sandra Fluke is making the shriveled up Baggers' heads explode. All they can do is get on Twitter-twat and type "slut" all over the place.

MissNancyPriss September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

This Costco guy is my kind of guy.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

With this guy and the one who spoke earlier, that's now two businesspeople with a brain and a long term vision. Maybe America will be OK after all, eventually…

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

How classless to have a slut address a convention.

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I think it was very gracious of her to lower herself.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

They probably made a hormone. I'll bet they didn't pay her.

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Old CEO just said "that's how we do."

Yeah, he added words afterwards, but still.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Is this Costco guy from another dimension? I'm just not used to hearing CEO's talk like this.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Hmm… Maybe I should get a job at Costco, this rash is not going away.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Almost everyone starts out on the dreaded cart duty. But, if you can hack that, they'll invite you inside where it's nice and warm and full of cool stuff.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I still can't understand why big business doesn't support single-payer health care. It puts us at a competitive disadvantage against the rest of the world. American Exceptionalism is a bitch.

Isyaignert September 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I believe that companies having to pay employee health care costs adds another $2000 to the price of an American-made car. That's a real disadvantage.

If we had universal healthcare, we wouldn't need Workers' Comp.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

And fuck off Sam's Club. Take a lesson from a company that treats its employees with respect.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Better muffins, too

imissopus September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Christ Almighty would I like to beat the living shit out of Luke Russert.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Sandra gave good hea…Speech!!1

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:14 pm

So that bright ideas are rewarded more than speculation

Oh God–can this guy PLEASE replace Tim Geithner in the second Obama term?

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

This Costco guy is like a weird cross between Colonel Sanders and WIlford Brimley. Also – why did they mount his prompter on the top of the podium?

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

BBC is streaming this live. Everybody in the audience is sitting on the opposite side of the hall.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Limey bastards!

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

If more capitalists were like this guy, I'd think better of capitalism.

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Tomorrow's Fox News headline today: Sandra Fluke Fails to Mention God in Speech.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

They'll say the nun didn't talk enough about Jesus, too.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

LIZ!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

ELIZABETH!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

So, what happened when Fluke was introduced to Clinton back stage?

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

"So, hey -"

"No."

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Have-A-Tampa?

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Yo! Elizabeth Warren in the house!!!!!!

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Liz! Have my children! I first heard her on Jon Stewart and was stunned at how much sense she made.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Hopefully, the people of Massachusetts agree with you

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Oh yeah oh yeah! Elizabeth Warren, baby we KNOW who you are! I love you love you love you!!!

Sharkey September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Dude, like, what's on sale this week?

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Lizzie Warren!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

First of many Democratic conventions for her, I hope…

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

The rioters are pleased with this… 'Warren'.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:16 pm

NOW we're talking. Liz!

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 10:17 pm

"You ought to be starting something" ♫

Elizabeth Warren rocks!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:17 pm

What is Joe Biden doing? Introducing all the women in that section to one another?

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Women require a strong patriarch to become properly acquainted.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Joe luvves the ladies….

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

The feeling is mutual

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Is he serving drinks? He was eating last night.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I like our stern school marm to theirs.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

She's HAWT

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Much better accent, also.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:17 pm

We're counting on you too, Massachusetts…

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Honey, despite what you think, you're not the warmup act for Bill. That's happening backstage.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

FLUFFER libel!!!!

An_Outhouse September 5, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Warren'Warren', Warren, Warren' better than Castro! Castro! Castro!

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Michelle is chatting up the Castro twins

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

She knows a good man when she sees one … or two.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

YES! The game is rigged! There is no such thing as the "rugged individual" you Republican idiots.

Isyaignert September 6, 2012 at 1:17 am

Iona, sweetie, you are the smartest person in class today!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

FOX seems to always cut away when ever there is a business person speaking. What does FOX have against business?

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

If the business isn't Republican, it isn't business….

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

How dare a political party invite political candidates to speak at their political convention!

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I'm betting Clinton comes out wearing shades.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Playing the sax!

viennawoods13 September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I went into labour watching him play sax at his first inauguration ball.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Aaaand now I have ZZ Top going through my head…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mxkPyQuPBM

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

"I grew up in an America that invested in a strong middle class"

That must have been a nice country…

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Worcester! Yeah!

Barrelhse September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Whustah!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Nice of Liz to translate for the rest of the nation.

janicket September 6, 2012 at 12:52 am

But she didn't say nuffin about getting fried clams in Ipswich, so we hates her, Preciousssss, yes we do.

(not)

Sharkey September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Go nice old lady!

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

The SYSTEM IS RIGGED?!

BoroPrimorac September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

How the fuck is Liz down by five points to that idiot Brown in Massachusetts?

janicket September 6, 2012 at 12:54 am

There are a lot of idiots in the Bay State, and besides, he drives a pickup truck, so you know he's a true friend of hard-working Americans.

Isyaignert September 6, 2012 at 1:19 am

Maybe she needz to poze in teh nudz like her did. Is that teh secret to sukkess?

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Tell it like it is Sistah!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:20 pm

"people feel the system is rigged against them."

How could they possibly think that?

Zango Crudmonger September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Strut around with no shame! Yeah, we gots problems with those CEO's.

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

She sounds a bit like Tracy Flick, no?

"I spoke to Pedro Martinez, who is worried he won't be able to afford a hot lunch."

Sharkey September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Programmers? I used to be a programmer…

Zango Crudmonger September 5, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Cay -Fucking -men Islands!!!! DRink.

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Cayman Island reference! Can I start fapping now?

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I've been fapping since the Costco CEO took the stage… mmmmmmmm

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Teddy Roosevelt badass!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

"We just don't want the game to be rigged. We fought to level the playing field before"

And dammit, we will do so again…

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Sitting on the couch with my Elizabeth Warren t-shirt on from a donation I gave months ago. And I live in Georgia.

True story.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I have her bumper sticker on my car … in Arizona.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Are your neighbors scared of you?

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

I live in a blue county in this really red state. I try not to leave the county too often, especially after sundown.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

What happened when Elizabeth Warren and Bill Clinton were introduced back stage?

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

sparks flew, cigars were discussed, Bill complimented her blue dress suit.

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Yer gawddamned right I gotta problem with that!

(I like how she's breaking these traitorous assholes down – strutting around congress, demanding favors; only insanely privileged out-of-touch plutocrats keep their monies out of their own country of residence).

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:22 pm

GAME! IS! RIGGED!
GAME! IS! RIGGED!
GAME! IS! RIGGED! …

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Well, this is as good a time as any to make my 1000th comment on Wonkette:

BALLS!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Excellent choice! Welcome to the next level, and keep an eye on your mailbox for your certification letter.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Hooray!

viennawoods13 September 5, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Geoff???

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Bring back cockney street urchins! Romney 2012!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:23 pm

The Dems are really pushing this "the economy grows from the middle class out and the bottom up" meme. Good to hear…

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

"Mitt Romney, huh." The way Mme Warren just said his name should be the ONLY way anyone EVER says it. Derision is so hot sometimes.

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Zip! Zap! Zop! Sounds like that Romney/Ryans got some type of space age phaser laser.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Alliteration R Us

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Did I miss Tammy Baldwin?

Tommy Thompson is kicking her ass right now?

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Preach it, sistah!

Joshua Norton September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

For the most part, things have been solid and tight.

The Republicans totally fucked up their convention with Crazy Ole Clint and his wonder chair. Not to mention their stupid "we built it" neener-neener taunt.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

"I got mine, the rest of you are on your own". Yep, that captures it.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Because she couldn't say "the rest of you, go fuck yerself"

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Romney : OWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY BALLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Ryan: Sorry, sir. I'll be gentler.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

They believe in government to help themselves and their powerful friends

WARREN 2016!

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

And Elvis is coming out AFTER THIS??? Romney and Ryan better put on helmets.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

And cups – 'cause they're about to get kicked in the ding-ding.

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Baby blue colored helmets! (sorry, got all Dukakis-ed up earlier)

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Is there some easy way to refresh this page without having to start at the beginning? I can't efficiently fap to Warren and navigate at the same time.

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Just go back to previous page and return.

Chichikovovich September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Refresh in the usual way, and then press "Recent Activity" at the top. That will show you the most recent posts.

Zango Crudmonger September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Corporations are taking a shiv from Liz.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Shit just got real!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

YEAH! PEOPLE are people!!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

She went off on a Khalil Gibran tangent there for a sec.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Corporations ARE NOT PEOPLE……..They need to run that shit in an Obama ad over and over again.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Jesus, I was typing praise for something else she said and had to stop to hear her eloquent words on why corporations are fucking well NOT people.

I bow to perfection.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Damn! Who knew that the Dems actually really believe in the American Dream?

Best convention I've viewed and I've seen quite a few.

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

You have a point, Oblio!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

And it's not even 2/3 of the way done.

littlebigdaddy September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Elizabeth Warren has seen Rush Limbaugh naked?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I think she can still see, so no.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Surely not, she's still alive.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

People live, they dance, they die….

God, that was a good line.

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Incredibly good. She is incredibly good.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I want to see the beautiful grandkids, only because I'm a broody old broad.

Sharkey September 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Oooo… Secksy….

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

To go along with the theme of Prof. Warren's speech, this is a must read: http://www.amazon.com/Free-Lunch-Wealthiest-Thems

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

This "middle class" sounds pretty cool. What bus do I take to get there?

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Bet Barack gets a bounce from this convention.

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Oh she's good.

MissNancyPriss September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Even Elizabeth's glasses are better than Sarah's.

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Corps r not people.

That was BIG!!!

Shoulda ended there.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Equal pay for equal work? What's next, no sammishes?

OurHoboSenator September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

I want to move to Massachusetts and gay marry Elizabeth Warren.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Sign Al Franken's petition to get rid of Citizens United – and tell your friends

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Dayum! We can decommission our entire nuclear arsenal now, we got Liz!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

"no one can steal your purse on Main Street or your wallet on Wall Street-"

Oh fuck, I give up, I can't type quickly enough to praise all of the spot on quotes from this woman.

Dear GOD, please please please make this woman Senator…

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Oh man here comes scripture…. BOOOOO!!!!!! BOOOOOOO!!!!!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Just because something in the Bible doesn't make it bad. I say that as a person with an allegiance to no religion. I don't care if it's the Bible or Star Wars; a good quote is a good quote.

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I was referencing the Vilagarosa 2/3 "boo!" debacle from earlier today. JUST TRYING TO BRING SOME LEVITY TO THE HORROR, HOMEBOY!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Lol! My bad. I missed that.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Mathew 25:40? OFFS!

littlebigdaddy September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I'm getting athletic eyeshades with that.

imissopus September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

MITT ROMNEY ALSO LOVES WOMEN! BLEEP BLEEP BLORK!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Give them their BS back to them Liz! Holy Rollers are UNHOLY

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Oh, she's quoting scripture as a Baptist!!! Take that, Republicans!

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Liberal AND knows the Bible. Wingnuts heads explore.

RedStatePinko September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Matthew stomps Leviticus, then offers him a beer.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I feel like I just watched an outtake from It's a Wonderful Life — would've been a much better movie with that scene left in, too.

PuckStopsHere September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Oh, Christ. Warren just invoked Christ. The GOP is going to sue for copyright infringement.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?????

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Damn right I'm ready to answer this call, sister!

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Elizabeth Warren quoting Ted Kennedy. This is better than porn.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

How dare she invoke Ted Kennedy for political gain!

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Boom, Bible. Liz is killing it up there.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

She isn't shy, is she?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Everything about this convention is sooo much better than that stanky empty chair low rent Rethug convention.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

You didn't like that "music"?

An_Outhouse September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

i keep thinking of that evil bitch nicky haley and fat thug christie. quite a contrast.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

This is a future president. I just saw the future president of the United States.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

I hope you're right.

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Build it together motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SpeedoFart September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Why the fuck didn't Rahm Emmanuel sucker punch David Brooks when he had the chance?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

C-span is the only way to watch this. No interruptions.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Oh geez. it's Anthony.

Sorry LA, but I'll be glad when he's gone.

MissNancyPriss September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

They need to keep the microphones away from that man.

imissopus September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

I live in LA and I say don't let the door of City Hall hit you in the ass on the way out.

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 1:00 am

We've GOT to organize a Wonkette meet-up!

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:50 am

Holla from another resident of the City of Angels who looks forward to a new Mayor…

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Big Dog in da house!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

And I'm not a big fan, either.

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Yeah, baby! Big Dog is gonna sink his teeth into Romney!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Hollywood Bill gets a movie!

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Oh man I miss 1994. I was 22. So, you know, don't stop believing…

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Hmm, that was Journey.

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

HEY! I am in the throes of passion. I can fuck up any Fleetwood Mac song on a good day, much less now. WOOOO Don't you get back, get back, get back to where you once belong…whatever. I SAID I was a dork.

AncienReggie September 6, 2012 at 10:26 am

And you are so much better looking now. Character and experience add so much beauty.

OurHoboSenator September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Fleetwood Mac. LOL.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

He played this at his convention, in a huge break with the traditional Dem "Happy Days Are Here Again."

OurHoboSenator September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

I remember the media making a huge deal about how using that song as a theme showed that Clinton was all young and hip and cool. Which amused me, in proper 19-year-old GenX ironic fashion.

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

L. Jonte September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

My girl-crush on Elizabeth Warren is so massive it can probably be seen form space.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

I love Bill Clinton. Wouldn't marry him, but I'd vote for him at any opportunity.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

On 9/11 all I could think of was, why aren't we hearing from the President? And I wasn't thinking of Dubya.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Hey, Rmoney: Who let The Dog out?? Who, who, who?

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

"Won't someone put him back in?! For the love of god don't let him loose!"

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Well, we haven't yet seen that Elizabeth here in Massachusetts, and she had better start bringing that game here pretty quick.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I didn't know she was losing in the polls, that is sad

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:56 am

Send her and her people to Gillette Stadium, stat…

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Bill Clinton — the man I hate to love.

imissopus September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Bring on the Big Dog!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

"He's a tough dog to keep on the porch…"

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Remember that great line from Sid and Nancy? "I look like fucking Stevie Nicks"

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Chloe Webb was so good (and cute) in that movie.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Bill Clinton in da house!

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

And suddenly, across the universe, billions of panties became moist.

Chichikovovich September 5, 2012 at 10:34 pm

They just opened a Costco close to where we live. I believe they will receive much of my custom in the coming months.

bobbert September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

You have to watch out for the gadgets. They're so damn cheap, it's easy to forget you don't actually need one, ever.

Chichikovovich September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

If I didn't have gadgets that 5 seconds of reflection would tell me I don't need, what would I keep in the garage?—

snackypants September 6, 2012 at 2:26 am

I use my garage to store all the surplus liquor and cheese I buy at Costco. We blow at least half our budget there on wine.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 8:55 am

That's OK, Costco has a good return policy.

I know this, because an ex-coworker used to make heavy use of it to "try before you buy".

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

he is so fucking cool

SUCK IT KEN STARR

slamtundra September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

HELL yes…that's right!

Biff September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

BIG DOG!!!11!

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Here comes the Fleetwood Mack Daddy.

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

…aaaaaaaaaaand Bubba pops his first boner of the night…

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Clinton! Mass ovulation!!

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Oh, this fucking song.

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Mitt Romney, I feel your pain.

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

The phone sex announcer mispronounced his name. There's no "t" in Clih-in.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Of all the possible Fleetwood Mac songs, why did he have to choose the one that they did the least cocaine on.

He really should have gone with Tusk.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm
sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I was expecting a White Eagle Jumpsuit!

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:38 pm

That would have been great.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Release the Clinton!

Zango Crudmonger September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I'm inhaling. Right. Now.

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

is he talking about himself?

OurHoboSenator September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Please let this be a precursor to Clinton declaring himself Dictator for Life

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Hey look — isn't that the guy who balanced the budget, passed welfare reform and brought peace to Yugoslavia and Northern Ireland, and who Al Gore wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole? Welcome back, Bill!

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

And left a surplus for the Republicans to piss away…

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Thank God our long nightmare of Peace and Prosperity ended in 2000.

Yes, that Onion article is still relevant. Yes, it still hurts.

mayor_quimby September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Never heard of him, sounds like a pretty good campaign asset. It'd be a shame to just ignore a dude like that if you wanted to be president.

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Bill Clinton was my first time. (to vote, but I'da been his intern in a heartbeat) You never forget your first. And I will love him forever.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 7:06 am

Honey, the world would have understood completely if it had been you instead of Monica. And he wouldn't have lied; he'd have bragged.

DemmeFatale September 6, 2012 at 11:18 am

My mom met him, spoke to him, shook his hand and stared into his dreamy blue eyes.
The first thing she said was: "I'd do him!"

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Bill Clinton's gonna nominate me?

Oh, wait.

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

CHRIST, what a charming motherfucker.

bikerlaureate September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Ridiculously charismatic.

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm

That is just such a bad song. Fuck me.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

OH BABY. you know what I like – cool on the outside but burning on the inside.

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Cool on the outside…burns on the inside…

Barry's the McDLT?

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

And speaking of burning for America — click — shhhhhhhhhhffffffff.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

damn you old delightful rogue.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Bill took a lot of speaking tips from old Southern preachers

PuckStopsHere September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

3 mins in and you can already tell that this is going to be a great fucking speech. I love President Clinton.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Great Michelle line!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Eat it up, Michelle. Soak it all in.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

LOVE Michelle's smile over BC's comment that he wants a president that had the good sense to marry her…

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 10:41 pm

still… AWK-ward!!!

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

He didn't just say that.

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 10:38 pm

The Bubba Card is PLAYED!

Bitches.

BoroPrimorac September 5, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Smile beautiful black woman.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:38 pm

here comes the attack dog.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Ok, now…this is how one conducts a Presidential Nominating Convention.

I'm not sure what those people were doing last week.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

My Mom just said to me, "This doesn't look a THING like that convention last week."

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

What parallel universe are we living in that Big Dawg is a Vegan. (See pics in the beginning of this thread)

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

The GOP alternate universe. Hallelujah, Bill!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Bill Clinton has the most beautiful hands.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

We're all in this together is a far better philosophy than you're on your own. Word.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

facts. how do they work?

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

"We're all in this together" is a far better philosophy than "You're on your own"

Ah yeah…

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Ooooo, numbers! Tasty!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

What a coincedence I AM living in a log cabin I built myself.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Go Galt!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

We're all in this together is a far better philosophy than you're all on your own.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Wow. The republicans were right. Clinton's really stabbing him in the back.

Or not.

viennawoods13 September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Barry's holding Hillary hostage!!

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Some motherfucking knowledge getting dropped right now. It's like a clinic on disemboweling the GOP.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Numbers have a liberal bias.

Joshua Norton September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Chimpy is probably now in the fetal position. Choking on Cheetos.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

At least he finally heard his name.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:40 pm

And now, 5 minutes on probability theory.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Rhodes Scholar!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Oh yeah, right.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Yep — Republicans are bad for the economy, bad for education, bad for equal rights, bad for entrepreneurs — you name it.

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Good for making fun of?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:41 pm

THE MASTER

Monsieur_Grumpe September 5, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Oh no!
Employment facts!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Oh no!
Employment facts!

Fixed.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Cry Havoc! And Loose The Big Dog.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

GOOD one on how BC never hated the Reeps the way their wingnuts hate on Obama.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Statistics have a liberal bias now too?

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Oooooo…. accusing them of hate! Nice…

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

C-SPAN JUST SHOWED Chelsey. she is so cool too.

fuck you Mush

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Nice posse, also too.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 7:08 am

I totally misread that.

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I just can't quit you Bubba.

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

i never realized how much i missed this charming old bastard.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

The Big Dog is aging beautifully. I still remember Letterman putting up pix of Bill jogging and commenting on his pasty white thighs…

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Here it comes, here it comes…

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

push the keyboard out of the way!!!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

*WE* play fair and share. *THEY* just want to be dicks.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Now, I am loving this: Clinton's going on about how he works with Dems, Reeps, and Independents is a nice contrast to the Party of No…

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

"I could never hate them the way the far right seems to hate our president."

Hell, Assity on the radio this evening was summarizing for his loyal listeners (who would never check it out themselves) yesterday's convention speakers as divisive and hateful.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Psst, Bill, we don't talk about Haiti anymore, just like we didn't before.

DemmeFatale September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Bill totally has a thing about Haiti. It's his fave foreign country.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

George W. Bush just got mentioned more in a positive light at the Democratic Convention than at the Republican Convention.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Bill, love you lots and lots.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

He's beating a dead horse. They will never cooperate. Fire them.

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

butt nObama iz to radicul to compromise

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Man I like the way Bill talks. I know, I know, but good lord, l just love it. He's a fantastic public speaker. He's gonna wear me out.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

The Big Dog walks at eleven o'clock…

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

they did check their brains at the door tho.

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Shit-piss, there's Rahm Emanuel!

MissNancyPriss September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

He's littler than the kids.

anniegetyerfun September 5, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Bill Clinton has more energy than I ever will. Is it the blow jobs? It's probably the blow jobs.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Yes. And the cigars and steaks.

anniegetyerfun September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Why doesn't my doctor ever recommend these things?

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 7:10 am

Can you get a prescription for blow jobs?

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm
IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

This is a brilliant speech. Historical.

Limeylizzie September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

I would do him in a heartbeat, many times a night and wake him in the morning by brushing my large breasts against his lips. Just saying.

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I know a guy that went to dinner with him and when the lady they were eating with took her jacket off exposing a major league pair of yah-bos, Bill smacked my friend under the table on the leg. My friend's so proud, he still talks about "the tits he shared with Bill Clinton" I think Bill (and probably most straight guys in the world) would be very pleased with your wake up call.

Limeylizzie September 6, 2012 at 1:00 am

What a great story! I love Bill Clinton so much, a man who does not have an unexpressed emotion.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Sorry, Bill, the GOP has been full of shit since US Grant left office.

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

I'd follow this magnificent statesman to the gates of hell. Clinton is such a fucking alpha.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Bill's not giving us what we want, right now, but he's giving us what we need.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

THE BATMAN!

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:45 pm

"One of the reasons we should re-elect President Obama is that he is still committed to constructive cooperation."

Even if he has to do it all by himself.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Good–I am glad Bill Clinton is spelling out in some detail just how rigid the Reeps have become. I know too many otherwise intelligent people who think that we have gridlock in Washington because "both parties refuse to cooperate." Sick of hearing that crap…

sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

I'm Totally going to tip my waitress after this.

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Give her just the tip, for bill.

anniegetyerfun September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Oh, Joe, stand up, you old loon.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Old handsome Joe FTW!

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

as if i couldn't love this any more: bill's giving love to our joey!

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Aw, Joe Biden's a nut. And he knows he's in the presence of greatness too.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Gaffey Joe! Bwaaaaaaaaaa! Even his laffs are gaffey!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

I support constructive cooperation, but once in a while I'd like to see Obama put a boot up Boehner's arse.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:46 pm

"Heck, he even appointed Hillary!"

Bill, you've still got it…

anniegetyerfun September 5, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Oh, I just climaxed at the line about appointing Hillary.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:47 pm

That's right, get your girl in, Bill.

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:47 pm

HILLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:47 pm

President O'Biden?

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Aw, I thought that was cute. Kinda drunky.

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

That's what Palin kept calling him in her debate prep! That's why she said "can I call you Joe?"

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:47 pm

michelle looks fetching. though i'm sure many of you have noted that already.

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

With votes!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

No more blood sports. Wonder how the right-wing media will respond tomorrow.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

With blood sports, of course.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Chelsea looks nice. Her success and happiness are a big F you to the people who smeared her parents

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

And her. When she was just a child.

Scumbags.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Oh, Clinton mentioned the troops — that's blatant partisanship now that Romney didn't seem to think they existed during his speech.

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Clinton is the nuclear option.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm

MONEY QUOTE FOR THE PUMAS: HE EVEN APPOINTED HILARY!

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Why is he pretending Republicans aren't assholes? Republicans are assholes.

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 10:51 pm

He's trying to get some of those assholes to vote Dem on Nov. 6th. He's like Obi Wan saying "Those are not the droids you're looking for", or whatever he says.

MosesInvests September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Well, Jedi mind tricks *do* work on the weak-minded.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

From the DCCC, in case anyone here doesn't get their numerous e-mails:

STAND WITH PRESIDENT OBAMA
Sign your name to say you stand with President Obama.
We’re trying to reach 100,000 strong backing up the President before the convention ends

http://www.dccc.org/pages/stand-with-obama?source

DahBoner September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

We're better off now than we were four years ago, because now we have edible race cars:
http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/comple

imissopus September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Ol' Sweet Cheeks herself on Twitter is saying that Bill is extemporizing quite a bit of this speech. He's definitely better at it than Clint Eastwood.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:49 pm

"Their number one priority was not to put America back to work, but to put the President out of work"

Boo – yeah!

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

i want him to mention four more years will make the wingnuts' heads asplode.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

"We're gonna keep President Obama On. The. Job."

WOOOOOOOOO!!!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

I think this will turn into the keynote in '88 where Clinton never shuts up, except Big Dawg won't get booed off the stage this time!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

I have a feeling Clinton likes this better than sex.

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm

For Clinton, this is sex. The rest is just a pale approximation.

tessiee September 6, 2012 at 1:49 am

I don't know; he seems to like sex quite a lot.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

CLINTON! CLINTON! CLINTON!

Ooops.

OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Did y'all watch their convention? I did. AND I am STILL SO CONFUSED.

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

So many blah people in the audience…. where's the representation for old rich whites?

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

The Costco guy probably has a few coins to rub together

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Wait… that wasn't Tyler Perry?

rocktonsam September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

THE COSTCO GUY JUST LEFT

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

"We left him a total mess. He didn't clean it up fast enough, so fire him and put us back in." That's the GOP strategy to a tee.

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Shoulda said this twice. Should play this in ads on an endless loop until November 6th.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:50 pm

BINGO – Bill Clinton gets the "in a nutshell" prize.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

"In a nutshell, Joe Biden"…..

littlebigdaddy September 5, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I have a friend who is a delegate and I understand that there is lots of free beer. This explains the smile on Biden's face.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

I was wondering if one of the guys in the expensive seats was downing a brew.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Fact Check: Clinton does not think they are honorable men.

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 10:51 pm

this is perfectly crafted for undecideds/independents. he's spelling out exactly how barry bent over backwards(or forwards) for the house republican caucus for 4 fucking years and they did nothing but fuck him over and over and over. he's targeting swing voters in ohio, florida, pennsylvania and indiana who might actually still have open minds.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Oh puleaze, make an empty chair joke!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

It's good to see somebody call the GOP out. Even if it is a decent GOP ex-prez.

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

"Pesky government regulations." He's got his gay on.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

"There they go again"

OH YEAH!

BoatOfVelociraptors September 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

That was the Reagan reach around.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Shit, Clinton just did a Reagan call out. I think the heads of most of the people at NRO and FOX News just exploded in rage at a Socialist quoting St. Ronnie.

anniegetyerfun September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

You know Bill want counting on them pretty much dying of spittle loss.

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

"There they go again." Oh Bill, I love it when you use their catch phrases against them.

sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Killin it Bill

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Goddammit, why doesn't Bill Clinton host a late-night talk show?

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

"Are we better off now than we were when he took office?"

YES!!!

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

WHOA WHOA WHOA ALL THESE NUMBERS… GDP?! SLOW DOWN WILLIE.

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

"there they go again… "

that was the sound of william jefferson clinton dropping his fucking nutsack on the face of every house republican. THAT'S how you teabag someone.

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

THe challenge Obama faces is the same as yours? Interns want to give him bjs?

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Audience, quit yelling out answers to rhetorical questions!

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

"There They Go Again". Center Shot.

That was nice, Bill.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

The most amazing thing about the "are you better off now" argument is that Ryan and the others put that out right before the convention — it was like tossing the Democrats a high lob. The GOP were just too damn dumb to notice that reality is not what they think it is.

BoroPrimorac September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Obama has been blessed with an opposition which consistently fucks up.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

People are like praying to Mr. Bill.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

It's all about Bill! Bwaaaaaaaaaaa!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I love an ex-president who can say whatever the fuck he wants, especially when it's the truth.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

NICE reminder that things were not looking so rosy in 1994 – 1995, but then 1996 came along and the boom got under way…

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

I love how the crowd hangs on his EVERY word. Amazing. No one else could do that. No one.

RedStatePinko September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Except, I don't know, maybe, what's his name, Boron Obomo, no wait, it'll come to me, somebody who has the podium tomorrow. I hear he's a pretty good speaker.

bobbert September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Oh, yeah, that guy. Well, he should be pretty warmed up.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Of all Obama's rhetorical skills, commanding a crowd to control its applause hasn't been one of them. He has talents Clinton doesn't , and Clinton has talents he does't.

MissNancyPriss September 5, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Precisely.

RedStatePinko September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Good point. Someone once said (I'm paraphrasing poorly) that Clinton absorbs all the attention while Obama REFLECTS the attention. Here's hoping his "It's not about me, it's about you" puts the complementary icing on the cake tomorrow and fires up the troops to another level.

littlebigdaddy September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Bill kills!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

"Listen to me now". Preach it, brother.

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Haha he's doing that finger wagging thing. That I didn't not blah blah blah thing. They should tell him not to do that, it's like his tell.
But I like "YOU WILL FEEL IT" from Bill. I think he knows what he is talking about.

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Bill Clinton thinks back on 1994, 1995. He pauses. A whistful look comes to his eye.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Amazing, wasn't it? It's like a mighty bridge of history being built, and we get front row seats.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Fact Check: God could have solved the economy in just four years. And God is a Republican. Verdict: Clinton lied.

Source: NRO.

OurHoboSenator September 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

The real Bill Clinton is so much better than the fake Clinton on that awful Political Animals show.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

truth, facts, reality check.

and passion – and snark – to boot.

suck it again republicans.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

"You will feel it, each & everyone of you will feel it" Big Dawg will personally come around to each and everyone of you & personally feel your pain. Ladies!

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 10:56 pm

"No president could ever repair the damage that [Obama] found in just four years."

That was the GOP strategy right there — make it so hard to fix that the next guy gets thrown out for not succeeding at it. I'm soooo glad he's pointing this out.

bikerlaureate September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

They definitely scorched all the earth they could in mid-'08.
The inaction, at points, led to no other conclusion.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

"…say this again–cut taxes for 95% of the American people"

Say it over and over again, actually…

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I WANNA GAY marry Bill

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

"Congressional Republicans: ZERO."

Indeed…

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Zeeeeee-ro!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

His little Southern twang is like whipped cream on the zero sundae

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Someone needs to say this…yes, the economy Obama inherited was terribly weak. It wasn't just Republican policies that made it that way. Remember who signed repeal of the Glass–Steagall Act?

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Among other crap signings. NAFTA, welfare "reform". Not his finest moment.

Blow jobs didn't bother me.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

someone has needed to say this since 2008 and i don't know why we haven't.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Two words: veto override.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

True that. Nevertheless, he wouldn't have approved of the relentless gutting of regulatory authority that happened under Dubya and the Republicans, who made things much much worse.

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

That's why he's not my hero. Of course, perhaps someone was holding Chelsea hostage somewhere . . . hmmmm.

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

in 1999, he also signed off on legislation(authored by phil gramm, attached to an appropriations bill right before the christmas recess) that deregulated the credit default swap market. awesome idea.

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

One thing to his credit, he has been self-critical and admitted his mistake.

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

also to his credit: that was back in the heady days of people having jobs. anyone who suggested that all these wonderful financial instruments should be subject to some oversight was generally regarded as a chicken little. wall street's argument was literally "we shouldn't be subject to regulation because we're so smart we don't need it. trust us."

under_score September 5, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Eight more years!

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 10:58 pm

"Republicans …………….ZERO."

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 10:58 pm

I wish someone would point out that jobs would have recovered if the Repubs wouldn't keep starving the public sector. Why does no one ever talk about public sector jobs. This makes me mad, and not just because I'm tired of standing in line at the Post Office.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 1:06 am

I've learned that I need to bring the equivalent of "War and Peace" with me any time I go to the DMV.

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 10:58 pm

At this point, the Big Dog is essentially bitch slapping the entire GOP.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

shame that.

tessiee September 6, 2012 at 1:58 am

With his penis.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 7:42 am

That's not a slap; it's a bludgeon.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 10:58 pm

It may have been said. But I will say it again. Funny how the Dems have no problem trotting out their former presidents. Not so much the Repugs.

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

The one they like is dead.

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Shared Prosperity = SOSHULIZMZ

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Damn right. Even Toyota supported it.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Hey! I got deleted! Was it cuz I said 'hard on'?

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Congrats, one of us!

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

gabba-goo! gabba-goo! one of us! one of us!

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Just don't include Malkin and ping pong in the same comment. Let's test it out now!

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm

That's just… diiiiirrrrty…and yet, I'm sure that's how she gotthrough junior college.

just_a_head September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I love this man. I even own a blue dress. Hmmm.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Get in line, girlfriend.

hahahahahahaha

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Great, now Clinton is using facts. How can the Republicans be expected to compete with reality?

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

"250K more people working in the auto industry now than on the day it was restructured…are you listening in Michigan and Ohio?"

Listen up, swing states…

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

He made that clear, didn't he?!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Michigan ain't a swing state. It hasn't voted Republican since Bush the Elder, but damn if Republican pollsters aren't trying to engineer an outcome on paper. lol

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 10:59 pm

This needs to end with a shot at Romney's record on the auto bail-out.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

I don't drive. Can I convert that into Klondike bars?

imissopus September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Tweet of the night from Charlie Pierce: "Bill Clinton just said there was something another president did that he couldn't have done. Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join ya, honey."

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

A 20 year low in oil imports!!! Who know?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Nobody, since the media doesn't talk about it.

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Ok, but how many 2:55 marathons has Clinton run?

just_a_head September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

The same number as Ryan!

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

I've heard the DNC put condoms in tonight's swag bags, just like at the Olympics. Any truth to this rumor I'm starting?

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I heard it on the internet, so it is true!

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

I've seen two separate people saying so. Must be true.

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Obama never denied it!

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

You guys did not disappoint!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

We could use a policy wonk like Billy Clinton again…

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Policy wank?

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Whatever crunks yer tractor…

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Gee our old La Salle ran great…

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

and go ahead fact checkers: fact check away.

sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm

God I hope he gets laid tonight.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Uh oh isn't Hillz in China?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Perfect timing, sez Bill.

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

With votes?

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I take solace in the fact that right now, all across the country, Republican heads are exploding from Clinton's (legitimate) oratorical rape.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

(sob) I'm still paying on my student loans.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Me too–I feel your pain.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Take heart, the Big Dog feels your pain.

just_a_head September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Me, too. 15 years out of college, and still payin!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I'm 53 and still owe over $20K.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

What I was trying to say when I got deleted was, I suspect that Mittens has not had conjugal relations with his 'south of the border' since #5 got pre-conceived.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Clinton – Infinity….Clint Eastwood – - 0

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Glad Bill brought his A game. Let's not forget he can suck when he doesn't care. I figure from what most people will see (the 10 o'clock hour) the Dems are up 2 to 0 with Obama going for the close.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

"That brings me to health care"

Bring it!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Now I get why they had to move Barney Frank to tomorrow.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

I'll stay up past my bedtime again tomorrow for that, too.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

1988 all over again! Ha Ha Ha! Keep going dawg!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

This time, he's earned it, and he'll be loved for it.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Remember Bill on Johnny Carson?

Carson:"How you doing, Governor?" <Pulls out hourglass and puts it on the desk>

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Great & funny moment. Bill had the Mo

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Damn, he's good. I'm a Socialist and I'll vote for O'Biden after this speech.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Listen to this commie, trying to take money out of the pockets of hardworking bankers and give to those lazy, pot-smoking students. Why, those students don't even have jobs!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Big Dog reclaims ObamaCare back from the wingnuts!

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Bill's just carpet-bombed the entire Republican Party and he's just now getting to healthcare!

WE're approaching an extinction-level event, here. With FACTS!

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Honey badger just conceded his crown to Bill

Zango Crudmonger September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Honey badger doesn't concede a fuck. But when he does, he concedes will Bill-sexys.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

All these young people on the floor. I saw about as many of them at the GOP convention as Mitt Romney mentioned the troops.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Nov.5 2012. The day we launch our dastardly scheme to push Obama further left. Further left. Bwahahahahaha. Bwahahahahahaha….! (cough, cough) Ahem…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Big Dawg looks great! Vegan & BJ's. I'll have what he's having.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Dude, you got a picture of my brother-in-law as your avatar.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Are you kiddin"? Tell me more!

IonaTrailer September 6, 2012 at 1:07 am

My sis married Andy.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

"Are we better off because the president fought for health care reform?"

FINALLY! So damn good to hear Democrats *embrace* Obamacare instead of running away from it…

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

are we past time? i think we are past time.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

We're dealing with Bill Clinton here. I think they knew, going in, that he'd Go Long.

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

My god. He's like the Helio Gracie of politics.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Why can't Obama explain this shit like Bill is?????

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I know, I think that's why Obama changed his mind and will be sitting there tonight. Bill Clinton is just the jedi master. No one can beat Clinton at this game.

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Bill Clinton, the Lion in Winter. Now, he has to chew his own lip.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Nobody is going to tell BC that tempest is fugiting.

RedStatePinko September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Heh heh. Almost said fuggiting.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Forget it, he's rolling.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

I know. He's vamping.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry"

I've felt that way throughout this whole damn election…

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Look, everyone! The last Democratic President is up onstage. On Teevee! and he's Awesome!

Hey, there, Republicans…Where's your Last President?

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!!!!!!

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

At home cutting brush?

sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Picking up Barneys poop in the cul-de-sac.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Not on a secret ranch in Paraguay, where he should be.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Not on a secret ranch in Paraguay defendant's bench in The Hague, where he should be.

FIFY

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

in the cave with Cheney/ LOL

BerkeleyBear September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Eating souffle, like he was when he got the call from Bamz about whacking OBL.

bikerlaureate September 5, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Oh, c'mon, are you still pretending that 2001-2009 has any impact on our situation today? Or on the deficit?
Sheesh.

tessiee September 6, 2012 at 2:01 am

Somewhere beyond the reach of extradition.

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

It takes some brass. I want that bumper sticker.

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

"Ass, Gas, or Brass – Nobody Rides For Free"

BoatOfVelociraptors September 5, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Brass would be getting a free ride.

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

"Brass" is one way to put it.

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

At home, watching the DNC

"Hmmm…my ghoulish charms seem to be wearing off…"

- Paul Ryan

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

It takes some brass to attack a guy for what you just did. LMFAO

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

How to cut the nuts off an up-and-coming 42-year-old asshole. Now, a nutless asshole.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

You know, Clinton told Brian Williams this afternoon, "It's true Obama and I aren't friends. But I'm behind him 100%." I'd hate to see what he'd do for someone he LIKED. Napalm love?

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

With enemies like that, who needs friends?

subsum September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

There goes Bubba talking about specifics, scores, statistics and wonkish stuff to actually show, with facts, that we're indeed better off than in 2008 as only he can do it. Oh, and–by the way–the Chelz is looking good.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

God Clinton is loving this. And he is making the case so well. The Right is going to spend the next three days whining about his speech.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

I hope it's the next three YEARS.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Sadly, their hatred of the Kenyan Socialist Muslim will quickly override their hatred for Bubba.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

School 'em Bill!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

I regulate insurance fucking companies. They are crooked bastards and I hate them.

subsum September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

I'll buy you a beer if you ever come to Austin.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:12 pm

College towns rock!

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Shorter Bill for going over time: Fuck! We'll do it live!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm
FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

He's just winging it, ain't he? "Y'all listen, this is important" Like Clint Eastwood did, but without being crazy, racist, wrong and cringey. I Love This.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

this is pure vintage bill – but the cause is so good and so important it's really working.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Yes, he's vamping.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Bill just slayed Ryan, Eastwood and Chuck Norris.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Sorry can't comment — this guy's saying some good shit.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

will the woman saying "noooooooooooooooo" shut up

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Bill is killing this.

He's skullwhatevering with facts.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Here he is, feeling our pain. No one does it better.

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Hey! That's not my pain! #slap#

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:10 pm

"11:00 We suddenly remember when the term 'policy wonk' entered the national vocabulary." You're on a roll, Doktor Zoom!

imissopus September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

"It takes some brass to attack a guy for doing something you did."

Cue Paul Ryan whinging about his hurt feelings in 3…2…1…

anniegetyerfun September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Oh, that was a good moment with the "I don't know what they're gonna do." Excellent emoting, Bill – SO much better than Ryan's fake tears.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

CSPAN has all these events video archived, available for streaming view. Sans commercial and/or Windbag interruption.
I for one will be watching most of this again. For fun.

I haven't wanted to do that for years now.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Fox is so going to immediately sign off after this speech.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Is that when the indictments will be announced?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

No, they will be there to say that water is dry. It is there only reason for existence.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

"This is personal to me"."

Suck it, Bitchez!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

"Did I make myself clear? The requirement was for more work, not less"

Sorry, Bill, but you are going to have to repeat this again and again to get through to people, and even then you'll never be clear to the wingnuts…

anniegetyerfun September 5, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Does. Not. Compute. Because. Blahs.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Yes, well – Bill your welfare to work thing wasn't quite as fabulous as you want us to think. There's a 5 year limit, and after that you're fucked. In California woman have to claim domestic violence to stay on the program if they can't find work.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Yeah, did you see Bowling for Columbine? Agreed.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Tonight, we are all fact-checkers…

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

tonight we are all blue dresses.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Bill Clinton is Nuking the Republican Party from Orbit.

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Doesn't he have some pussy to get? This is going LONG.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

I think the one thing that turns Bill Clinton on more than chicks is the chance to campaign again…

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:14 pm

What the hell is it about this motherfucker that he not only talks like he believes everybody wants and deserves in-depth nuanced explanations about everything, but that he's so interested and so masterful of the subjects that he can plainspokenly explain every single facet of a policy and then go from one subject to another to another for two fucking hours and I'm still gonna turn the volume up on the teevee when I have to get up to get another beer so I don't miss a couple of sentences? Holy fuckin' shit.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

He's talking, too, not reading. Dude is smart

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

He's still fucking got it.

BerkeleyBear September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

See, Obama does it too (see Repub retreat where he tore them a new one), but without the twangy aw-shucks stuff it comes off more lecture style. But if O ever tried to talk like a good ol' boy, he'd get slaughtered as talking "ethnic".

janicket September 6, 2012 at 1:21 am

I can haz Rhodes scholar?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

"Science and technology"? Get thee behind me Satan!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

"Do ye the Devil's work".

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Did I make myself clear MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

I hope he ends this by saying "I'm out.", whilst ripping the mic off the podium, and dropping it to the floor.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

i want Obama to do that too

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Budget policy wonking! HIT 'EM WHERE IT HURTS, BILL-O!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Simpson-Bowles sucks dick, though! Say hike the taxes on the 1%ers!

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Is his Harlem Arkansas accent getting stronger, or is it just me?

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

not just you i hear it

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

This is great and all but who's winning the Giants-Cowboys game? For fantasy football sake, I MUST KNOW.

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Dallas, and my opponent has Miles Austin!

mayor_quimby September 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

I have miles Austin, dropping his ass ASAP!

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Sweet. All I have in this game is Dallas Defense but it was killing me not knowing, no cable.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

I'm fucking boycotting the NFL until they settle things with the refs. Okay, not cold turkey, but I only watched a few minutes with the sound down.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Some of these refs are literally HS Flag Football caliber. It's fucking pathetic. Still gonna watch though, everyone loves a good trainwreck.

shelwood46 September 6, 2012 at 1:58 am

Colbert did a bit on it tonight. One of the refs came over from lingerie football.

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 2:31 am

Read that on deadspin the other day, the jokes write themselves. You'd think the NFL would realize that football is a heavily gambled on sport and having a bunch of 3rd rate rejects officiate it is a terrible idea and likely to piss a ton of people off, but no.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 1:16 am

Christ, that's STILL going on? Fucking pay the refs and get on with it, NFL–we have enough bad calls in the games with *real* officiating…

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Dallas. It's Bizzaro night.

Troubledog September 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Rhodes scholar is scholarly

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Tonight's drinking word is "First…"

snackypants September 6, 2012 at 2:43 am

Or "Listen."

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Arithmetic!

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

ARITHMETIC, BITCHEZS!!

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

that's the t-shirt C-R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Would a bumper sticker do?

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Ooooo – he's going to do math in public!!

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Science! Arithmetic!

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Arithmetic.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Bill Clinton: How ya' like me now?

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Now that you mention it, I''m in the mood for some Old School:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRb9PONMeLY

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Bill clinton: Republicans, Imma let you finish…

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

jesus christ this is like a freestyle rap battle between jay-z and helen keller.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

I'm going to hell for laughing my arse off at that

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

LMAO!

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Or Helen 'Ghostface' Kellah…

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

The three r's — readin', rightin' and fuck Reagan!

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 11:17 pm

It's creeping me out to see the San Antonio mayor sitting next to FLOTUS. Keep your hands to yourself, buddy.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Yeah, Julian, put your hands on me, instead.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Not the PARKS!! Rosa notwithstanding.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

i say it again i want to gay marry bill….

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:37 pm

I want to hetero marry Bill and gay marry Cecile Richards. Or Elizabeth Warren.

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

They are going to have to use the big cartoon hook.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Wouldn't goddamn dare

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

He's caught in a feedback loop and doesn't know how to stop

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Good lord, cut BACK on social programs? Come on Bill, that shit IS GONE if these assholes get their way, baby, you know this.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

EAT THE RICH, mutherfukker.

sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Is this a Springsteen concert? – he will stop at some point right?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

No! The guy gets like 1 hour of sleep a night!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Having seen Bruce (in the Ice Palace) this year, I hope not.

mayor_quimby September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

As soon as our girlfriends have had enough.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

He promises to stimulate your sexual organs every concert.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Oooh, inflation as a Republican tax policy. Preach it.

Crush 'em on debt. Do it.

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Best tweet in past 25 seconds:
"@NowWithAlex: There's only one person who can stop him. She's in Asia. #NowWithAlex #msnbc2012
Retweeted by Chris W

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:19 pm

No one can kick the GOP's ass over deficits better than Bill Clinton.

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

blah blah blah, policy policy…

How dare he speak to us as if we weren't idiots!

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:40 pm

"How dare he speak to us as if we weren't idiots!" I know. He did not even come out screeching, "I love yewww women." although he totally does.

Chichikovovich September 5, 2012 at 11:52 pm

If Bill did say that, he would continue "And if y'all will just form an orderly line down the hall, I'll be able to love every one of y'all"

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm

It's in his kiss (that's where it is!)

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Trickle down???? Isn't it more like MIST down?

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Piss down

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

He is ruining the Republican shit right now. Ruining their shit. All Barack has to do is come out and Hopey-Changey it for half an hour, say 'Michelle Obama' a few times, and smile that damn smile of his.

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

RUIN! THEIR! SHIT!
RUIN! THEIR! SHIT!
RUIN! THEIR! SHIT! …

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Cutest little smile and biggest grin.

redarmyzombie September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Great. Clinton's talking, and my pants are STILL missing!

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

It happens more often than you'd think.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

"We simply cannot afford to give the reins to someone who will double down on trickle-down." That sound I just heard was the Romney-Ryan campaign flying into a bug lamp.

bobbert September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Kill shot.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 11:20 pm

why does bill sound more like a wonkette commentator than a democratic politician?

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Term limits.

Boojum September 6, 2012 at 8:02 am

You know he's on here.

Chichikovovich September 6, 2012 at 8:48 am

OK, I'll admit it. I'm Bill Clinton. Now come on over here ladies and give me that big ol' hug.
And, anything else that you may be thinking of giving me…..

Trannysurprise September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Ok, I'm out of tequila and this old woman shaking her finger at me is starting to look hot.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

On TV or real life?
There are so many advantages to living alone.

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Fox is still hoping against hope that, any second now, Clinton will go off script and denounce Obama as a Kenyan anti-colonial socialist.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

In their wet dreams.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Those damn Maths have a liberal bias.

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

"if you want a country of shared opportunities and shared responsibilities…you should vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden."

Done and done!

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

When does Tipper come out for her kiss?

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

OH GOD YES, Say Joe's name again, I love it…

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm
Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Hahaha, now the voting procedure hit! BLAM!

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Is that The Sandman in the wings with the big hook……or is it, yes, it's Barack Hussein Obama!!1!!!!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

How'd you know that???

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

I read it on the internet!

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Called out, Jon Husted!

rickmaci September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

The force is strong in that one.

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

This speech is going to have a happy ending.

subsum September 5, 2012 at 11:21 pm

I want a bumper sticker that reads "Arithmetic, beotchez!" and nothing else.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Did he just say. "In conclusion" & just got a standing ovation? It's 1988 all over again!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

GOOD on him for bringing up the GOP's voter suppression tactics. Still have a simmering ragefest over the crap going on in the Keystone State…

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

They are still trying that shit in Ohio….

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

GODAMMIT BILL GIVE ME THE MARRIAGE EQUALITY MONEY SHOT.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

He is going long, a Clinton Tradition, but I can't believe people will turn out. And all of tomorrow is going to be dominated by clips of him and Elizabeth Warren, and sniveling, whining conservatives who have just had their asses handed to them.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

The Clinton can not be contained, The Clinton can not be stopped. Resistance is futile.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

You will be assimilated!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Jeebus, did Clinton just explain The Medieval Serf system in comparison to the socioeconomic policies of the Ming Dynasty? When do we get to explaining what went on in the 2nd Century?

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:44 pm

I submit. Gladly.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 1:21 am
sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm

He will make a great first. … well whatever their going to call it in 2016.

PuckStopsHere September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Who would you rather speak for you? Bill Clinton or Clint Eastwood?

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Oh, please…the big Dog can kick Cranky's ass any day of the week. And I hope Cranky's movie does jack shit at the box office.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

The new old Mel Gibson. Or the old new Mel Gibson. Whatever.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

I feel like I'm singing in a choir right behind Bill

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

i'm gonna go to romney and ryan's facebook after this and say ARTHEMETIC BITCHEZ AND Bill just schooled your asses

rickmaci September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Trickle down? How about pee on my back and tell me it's rain.

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

God, we do have the smartest fucking politicians, don't we? Love me some Dems right now.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Oh we do. We do. And we are proud of our past presidents and other leaders like Ted Kennedy. Their only dead idol is, hey, another RR.

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Hell, last night Teddy ripped Mitt another asshole last night and he's been dead for how many years now?

And they were whining today about how disrespectful it was to use a dead man's words to clobber again the guy he clobbered 18 years ago. Pansy ass republicans.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Michelle REALLY doesn't like Clinton. Those eye rolls are freakin nuclear.

vulpes82 September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

He probably won't stop hitting on her, and Michell is a ONE man woman!

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

No love lost between the two camps, but damn, Bill did the job there.

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I wonder if Hills was watching that.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

It's about 11am in China so I reckon she might have been, barring SecState duties.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Andrea Mitchell reported that Hillary is out of Internet connection. In East Timor. Unlike Ann, who I am sure was totally connected. In London. While watching fancy, dancy, tax-break horse.

BerkeleyBear September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Bill just hit his 400th point. Is there a hooker in the podium a la Police Academy?

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Holy shit, I wanna buy a minibus and follow this motherfucker around the country.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

I'd blow him tonight, I swear

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:51 pm

I forgive all those trailer trash Gennifers, et al.

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I'll go! I went to a Phish concert once and people sold gill cheese and tomato soup in the parking lot – and they were awesome! Someone else sold margaritas – and they were awesome! Someone else sold a quarter-ounce of magic mushrooms – and they were awesome! That's how we'll finance this thing.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

He talked about voter manipulation. I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

That's some Founding Fathers shit right there….

Moniker Lewinsky September 5, 2012 at 11:23 pm

FINISH ON MY FACE!

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

LOL. He's such a generous speaker. He gives and he gives and he gives.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Right now, if Bill Clinton told the crowd to grab the pitchforks and torches, by golly they'd grab the motherfucking pitchforks and torches.

The Rich don't know how lucky they are.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

I'm not Bill's greatest fan, but damn can the boy give a good speech!

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

PANTIESCREAMPANTIESCREAM!!!!1!

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Not a Dry Seat in the House.

RadioX September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Towels for everyone!

redarmyzombie September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Say, this is MUCH better than watching some old dude yell at a chair.

HouseOfTheBlueLights September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Bammerz! Having a moment here. Hyperventilating. Back in a mo'

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Any other oldz out there remember when they used to dance in the aisles at political conventions? Start dancin'!

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:53 pm

I am so old I remember real brokered conventions and the teebee networks bragging about "gavel to gavel" coverage.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 1:57 am

I know!Hard to believe.Now we've got Honey Boo Boo and America's Got Talent to sedate the masses who can't be bothered thinking about who will represent them in the most important decisions of their lives.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 3:10 am

Huh, whaaa? Didja say somethin'?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Get the hell off MY stage Muthafucka!

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Wow, I'm spent. And now Obama on stage. I need a cigarette, and I don't even smoke.

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Bammerz in the House!!!!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Petty almost makes up for Fleetwood Mac.

Still, he should have gone with "You Got Lucky."

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm

i fell in love with "i won't back down" when eddie vedder played it at a vote for choice rally all the way back in the mid-90s.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Judy Woodruff — "You can tell — the roof has risen off of this arena." Gwen Ifill concurs.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

BLOW JOBS ALL AROUND!!!

(oh, was that too much snark?)

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Was that snark?

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 12:27 am

Not even fucking close.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

On September 5th, 2012, 11:25 PM Eastern time, the begun the election has.

bibliotequetress September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

For reals. I'm going to bed a happy little librarian. I hope hope hope Liz W. gets a bump from this.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

And at the same moment, the contest was over

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

That really was quite something. Like, nuclear-powered awesome.

Even Gergen is gobsmacked.

bikerlaureate September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Wolf keeps babbling too.

rickmaci September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

The first black Potus and the second black Potus. Some pic.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Did you see the LOOK Prez gave Big Dawg when Big Dawg turned around shaking hands on his way out? Whoa!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

I think that was the same look Prez gives gaffey Joe EVERYTIME he's let out of the Observatory and opens his mouth!

Callyson September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Who was better–Elizabeth Warren or Bill Clinton?

Nope, not even going to choose between them…

OK, time to take two dogs out (again, for those of you in Los Angeles/Silver Lake, if you know anyone missing a black & white male puppy, please reply to this!), but I'll check in for the MSNBC talking heads and check out everyone's comments from the start. BBL…

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Have to say Bill did that speech what he does to vagina…eats it and makes ir orgasm

M. Bouffant September 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Have you tried a found notice in The Eastsider?

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 12:00 am

Good idea, thanks, will do that now…

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Elvis has left the building

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Cut the lights and get out the Bics!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Won't Back Down! Will Petty seek a Cease and Desist? I think not.

SayItWithWookies September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

David Brooks: "It was an effective speech. As always, too long — but effective."

David Brooks is right now sitting in his own urine.

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Just like every other night….

miss_grundy September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I hope he was wearing a Depends, or else they'll have to get him a new chair.

saggyboobedhag September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Brooks has no clue what would qualify as "too long."

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Tom Petty FTW.

BoroPrimorac September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Look at that shit. He makes women orgasm just by speaking.

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I can also make them do that with my mouth, but not the same way.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:32 pm

And the men too honey and the men too

BoroPrimorac September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Ed Schultz and Tweety are definitely wearing an OH face right now.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Did you see the pretty woman mouth, "Oh, my Gawd!" and clutch her bosom when it was over? She DEFINITELY got off.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

CNN commentator: "That was the best speech I've ever heard"

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

i wonder if Rachel had another OmG moment :)

Lucidamente1 September 5, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Chris Matthew has a winning, post-coital glow.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

And his leg fell off.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Rachael Maddow is looking pretty satisfied too!

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm

only thing that would have made that bill and obama exit cooler was if bill put on his shades and brought out the sax and obama did some slow jams

rickmaci September 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm

We all should get a quarter of Poli Sci credit for listening to that 45 minutes.

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Substance. What a concept.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 1:38 am

The RepubliKons are so filled with the "I know what I believe, don't bother me with facts."

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Finally, they're voting on the god thing.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm

48 minutes of pure delight.

and i betcha bill hasn't had this much fun since the mid 90's. i'm not sure i have.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:40 pm

I was thinking that, too. He's enjoying this as much as we are.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Greatest. Nomination. Speech. EVAH.

vodkamuppet September 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Thanks for blogging Zoom, you did a great job and you didn't even have booze for most of it. Not an easy accomplishment.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Three cheers for the Doktor!

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

please allow me to upfist that. zoom's observations on the long-forgotten power of facts were welcome.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Amen. I'm proud to have been able to drink heavily for you, Doc.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Yes, thanks DokZ, top job, sir!

NellCote71 September 5, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Agreed. Great job. Wonder who and where our overlords are fornicating on the second most important night of this convention. Thanks, Dr. zoom, for stepping up and filling in for these slackers.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Somebody get me a cigarette. Hot damn.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Sorry my brother…you gots to get your own!

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Unless you want a *special* ciggerette…

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Remember when the roll call would start around 2 or 3 in the a.m.?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Yeah & everyone cold token' camels? Those were the days!

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

My Mom just said, "Chris Matthews had a thrill up BOTH his legs tonight."

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

All three.

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Speech bubble: "God bless America!"

Thought bubble: "Fucking 22nd Amendment… THIS is what I should have been doing for the last twelve years! And the next twelve!"

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:29 pm

"Every vote counts and every vote is precious (except six hours ago)."

FakaktaSouth September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

THIS part of Alabama says FUCK YEAH. 69 votes.

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Huh huh…69…

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

at least I wasn't only one going all Beavis and Butthead…

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

heh-heh-heh-heh-heh

FakaktaSouth September 6, 2012 at 12:41 am

See, I AM old, I was thinking Bill and Ted. 69, dude.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

I'd hate to follow that. Maybe William Jennings Bryant could pull it off.

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Jesus knows the Paultards want to go back to the Cross of Gold.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

They loves "The Wizard of Oz", I'm told.

Chichikovovich September 6, 2012 at 12:10 am

That's actually the Ron Paul Revolution's motto:
"Damn right we want to crucify mankind on a Cross of Gold. And press down upon the brow of labor a crown of thorns too."

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 1:12 am

That would be their motto – wordy as fuck.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

'Bama, represent!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Clint Eastwood who?

Veritas78 September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

I remembered a whole decade just now. Yup, some hiccups, but those were good times, and that is one fucking smart guy. We are lucky to have an even fucking-smarter guy today. America's lucky streak continues.

Terry September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Oh, the gentleman nominating from Alabama is fabulous

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

The Democratic Convention engages the Republican Convention in a nice Rugby match.

VinnyThePooh September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

"What's funny, Mitt?"

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

"Alabama, a state where the vote is worth dying for." A Republican would say that jokingly.

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Anyone else see Barry almost break into a crip walk when he greeted Bill? Was I just wearing my Negro goggles?

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

he's probably been suppressing his natural pimp stroll for a couple of decades now. walk that shit out, bear bear.

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Definitely a strut. Made me clinch…..in a good way…

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:02 am

Said earlier. Only two black presidents. And we are so much better off for it. Patrick/Castro/Warren 2016.

AlterNewt September 6, 2012 at 1:56 am
Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 11:31 pm

I just got an igloohhhh

BathroomGoblin September 5, 2012 at 11:32 pm

You can hear Mark Shields' pulse through his headset mic.

RadioX September 5, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Great job Doktor.
I can see why the Republitards were so afraid of him. They've been trying to say Clinton hates Obama (haha he doesn't hate anybody, much less Obama) and trying to revisit his blow jobs (now more than ever, Who. Fucking. Cares?).
Bill Clinton ripped it. I just sat through an hour long political speech enthralled — and that's a first.

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 1:10 am

Me too – when it was over and someone said it was 50 minutes, I was very surprised.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 2:57 am

Clinton always gave great speech- it was the way he helped move the Dem party over to the right that still doesn't sit well with me. But damn, he is a born politician & speechifier…

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Fox News guys are sputtering and stuttering, barely can get a sentence out. They are going with Clinton being a numbers wonk who was (and I quote) "rambling". They don't know whether to shit or wind their watches.

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Thank you for reporting from the cosmic vortex that is Faux News. I couldn't do it, man, and be careful out there!

rickmaci September 5, 2012 at 11:44 pm

They will be calling for change of diapers at the commercial break.

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:04 am

Rambling? This from the party of Clint Eastwwod?

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 1:09 am

You're visiting that "Republican Alternate Universe" Bill was talking about. Who said "Rambling"? Was it Brit? It was Brit, right?

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 1:34 am

It was Brit indeed. He also mentioned that Clinton's index fingers were crooked when he gestured.

They looked like they'd just been in a car crash, totally in shock.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 1:43 am

Brit, the guy that sounds like Tom Brokaw with a broken jaw, talking about "rambling." That is rich. I mean, that's like Mitt Romney rich.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:33 pm

24 Alaskan votes for Barack Obama, and one for $arah Palin!
Whut?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

And the winner of the David Hidalgo Look-Alike Award goes to American Samoa.

Crank_Tango September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

ooh snap cc golddaughter!

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

But remember one thing. The Big Dog is a horse trader of the old school. What's he going to ask for in exchange for that speech? Uncle Joe might have seen his 2016 campaign walk out the door tonight.

C_R_Eature September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Barry Goldwater's Daughter! Holy shit!

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Miracles happen in Arizona sometimes.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Not only did the Big Dog just give the speech of a lifetime while receiving a hummer, he was also emailing me at the same time! Dude's freaking amazing!

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:05 am

Double cheating dawg. He just emailed me, TOO.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 2:34 am

And I was emailng one to Clinton at the same time. The Bastard!

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 3:29 am

Give that man a cigar!

Joshua Norton September 5, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Sometimes I forget why I voted for Bill Clinton.

Then on nights like this one I remember.

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:06 am

I never forgot. And see Barry ably filling his shoes. Without all the pesky wimmenz problems.

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

american samoa should have brought out the Rock to say that !

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Awww… Cece Goldwater got nervous… Goldwater/Miller 2016!

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

If by that you mean Cece and Stephanie, yes–I would hit that.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:46 pm

of course! Box wine for all!

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:35 pm

uh…these state speeches are making my vagina wince….and i dont have one.

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm

And that's why they're delegates and not nominees.

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Hotness in defense of liberty is no Vice!
AZ>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Well done, Doktor.

rickmaci September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Most ironic line. "Democracy does not have to be a blood sport." As he methodically shoved verbal swords in the body of the Republicons over and over and over…

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:22 am

No harm. No fault. I am sure it went over their collective heads, and their mouth-breathing "base."

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 1:37 am

No, I loved the harm. Wasn't nearly bloody enough, but it was pretty close.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:36 pm

IT'S DI-FI!!! And B-BOX!!!! AND BAD-ASS NANCE!!! WHOOOO!!!

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:39 pm

I fucking love this state sometimes. Loved that moment!

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

If Anna Eshoo was up there too I would be completely and utterly represented.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:55 pm

and noted awesome CA AG Kamala Harris spoke tonight as well

so good

"President Obama stood with me and 48 other attorneys general in taking on the banks and winning $25 billion for struggling homeowners," Harris said, noting that Obama also supported credit card and Wall Street reform.

"That's leadership!" Harris continued. "That's what President Obama did. And that's why we need to give him another four years. We need to move forward. President Obama will fight for working families. He will fight to level the economic playing field and fight to give every American the same fair shot my family had."

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:23 am

Ahem. San Antonio mayor STILL owns it.

fuflans September 5, 2012 at 11:37 pm

thanks dok awesome work awesome night

Doktor Zoom September 5, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Haha, now I am going to join you bastards down here in the comments and drink more of that scotch. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Good job, DZ!

iTuna September 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Kickass job up there, Dok.

RadioX September 5, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Love you back Dok.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Superb job, Dok!

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Great stuff Dok!

Blueb4sinrise September 5, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Zoom!
Zoom!
Zoom!
Zoom!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:41 pm

"policy wonk"! .

redarmyzombie September 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Willkommen, herr Doktor!

AlterNewt September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Nicely done, Doktor.Very nicely done.

sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Nice job Doctor!

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Are you speaking tomorrow night, perchance? Cause I'd love to hear you spout your description of Willard's laugh.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:51 pm

I'm buyin'!

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Ahhhahahahahaha!!1!

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 12:01 am

Outstanding Blogsteerage, Dok. Hat's Off to you!

vodkamuppet September 6, 2012 at 12:02 am

Sweet. It's like when you get to hangout with the band after the show.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 12:02 am

A manly pat on the back for the good Doktor.

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:24 am

And we love you. Group hug.

Callyson September 6, 2012 at 1:32 am

Thanks for your service to the nation.

What? We Wonketteers count as a nation…

ElPinche September 5, 2012 at 11:37 pm

That Hillary's husband fella is pretty fucking AWESOME! I don't have the attention span to listen to anyone for 50 minutes…except Bubba.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:37 pm

California – the land of Fruits and Truck Nutz – is awfully long winded. Diane Feinstein sucks. Also, too.

bikerlaureate September 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Kerry was great too! Impressive information and passion.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Hold up, Doktor Zoom, that coffin stick will have to wait until the great state of Zembla has spoken!

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:39 pm

"The home of the Connecticut Compromise, which royally fucked the United States Senate for ever and ever, amen!"

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Who will win the nomination? The suspense is killing me!

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Warren/Fluke 2012!

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

RON PAUL ARGLEBARGLE!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 2:38 am

Ron Paul shall rise again!

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 2:47 am

Please, let the Paultards run a write-in campaign in Nov. Who can craft a long, ranting e-mail in multi-colored Comic Sans making a case for Ron Paul as ideal write-in candidate & start forwarding it to known or suspected Paultards?

subsum September 5, 2012 at 11:40 pm

The most brilliant thing Bill did was give credit to Dubya. Now that's going to drive a wedge in the Republican narrative. They're purposely distancing themselves from Dubya and Bill comes up and brings him to the forefront. That will force the Romney campaign to say something to acknowledge that Bush exists and that will give the Obama campaign the entry point they need to pound the Republicans with Bush's record. Very well done. Thanks, Bubba.

BarackMyWorld September 5, 2012 at 11:41 pm

So…when do the August unemployment numbers come out?

obfuscator2 September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

tomorrow, i think.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Friday

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:41 pm

FOX News Analysis: Clinton went on too long, used too much detail, and talked about facts. Total Fail. Who can expect Americans to remember something when someone speaks for 50 minutes.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Rethugs wouldn't know a Rhodes Scholar if him or her bit them in the ass!

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

lord knows some of them would pay one too…i'm looking at you david vitter!!!

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:27 am

Tough, though, biting through diapers.

magic_titty September 5, 2012 at 11:44 pm

They have a point. "Fox News: DERP DERP GRR!" has been a hit in the ratings.

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Their viewers went to bed an hour ago, so it doesn't make any difference what their talking heads say.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Maybe that is why they are so pissed. They figure when Bill goes long, half their audience has gone to bed (and about a quarter have probably died).

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 1:58 am

Totally plausible.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Can't remember 50 minutes ago, but they seem to recall every fucking minute of their revised raygun administration.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Selective amnesia

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Dementia is like that. They remember a long time ago, but they can't remember two minutes ago.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 12:01 am

True. They should all be in protective custody.

ElPinche September 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

FOX news couldn't find anyone in the building who had a big enough attention span to break it down for the cromagnon masses.

glamourdammerung September 6, 2012 at 2:10 am

FOX News Analysis: Clinton went on too long, used too much detail, and talked about facts. Total Fail. Who can expect Americans to remember something when someone speaks for 50 minutes.

So Fox "news" is outright stating that their audience is too mentally slow to have been able to follow Clinton's speech? Seems like that is short changing even them since they can still recall the minutiae of various lies the media made up about Clinton 20 years later.

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Caesar Rodney shout-out! Woo-hoo! Weird history nerd dog-whistle!

BoatOfVelociraptors September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

I want to see the New Jersey delegate just say "153, Obama. New Jersey out." *drops mic*

Jukesgrrl September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

That would be awesome.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 6, 2012 at 12:17 am

Let's see.

Wadisay September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Take that, Romney. Give up. Stick a fork in yourself, you're done.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Big Dawg on the trail with Prez, THE END.

redarmyzombie September 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

That man is sooooo screwed, I almost feel pity for him.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

No amount of Ryan Lyin' and Romney horseshit can counter that vicious uppercut.

tracyhasfun September 5, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Doktor, you are my fave wonkette. Also, I love 1554. Have always believed beer delivery would improve economy, quality of life.

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Doktor, you are my fave wonkette.

Ooooh, Our Illustrious Editrix won't be happy with that…

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Someone's gonna get machinegun skullfucked. …with votes?

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:29 am

Can we say the R word again, if what you suggest happens?

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 12:50 am

Aw, thanks :) Also, at the risk of brown-nosing, Rebecca is one hell of a good editor–I am learning a hell of a lot about Bringing Teh Funny, and she has a real knack for slicing/dicing & little modifications that make an OK line into a real laugh.

mustangsavvy September 5, 2012 at 11:44 pm

I never understood why the women swooned over Bill. Now I fucking well do. Good gravy. Where are my smelling salts?!

The yummy Democratic men are making me feel that special feeling. If you know what I mean. And I mean – VOTE. You perverts. I meant VOTE.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Today we all are wearing blue dresses.

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:30 am

Love it!

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:46 pm

i don't think Honey Boo Boo won against the DNC…

Designer_Rants September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Does anyone ever know what Chris Hayes is talking about?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Nope

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:30 am

What's up with his hair? Too. Also.

vulpes82 September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

We're now going to be treated to hours of Obama/Clinton hug-analysis, "Did Bill Clinton upstage Obama?", and concern-trolling Obama having to follow that speech up. WHY DO I KNOW THE PUNDIT MIND SO WELL, GET IT OUT OF ME, GET IT OUT OF ME!

ProgressiveInga September 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Have you recently eaten at Chik-Fil-A? 'Cause, if so, better call a Nun-on-a-Bus for an old time exorcism…

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Guam is gonna send their delegate back to the House, to do… something… I dunno, hang out with DC's?

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Rachel and her pundit panel are trying to outwonk Clinton. Can't be done, Rach.

sudsmckenzie September 5, 2012 at 11:49 pm

tonight, we are all the first Black president.

IonaTrailer September 5, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Neil Abercrombe representing Hawaii!!!

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Yeah! I liked that "Child of the Islands" bit.

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm

And the haole boy smacks down the birthers…

just_a_head September 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm

That was the fastest long speech I ever heard. A smart man who's honest-to-god folksy charming makes me little heart go pitter-pat.

Old school Willy. He even did the lip-bite chin-thrust thingie a few times.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:50 pm

A Child Of The Hawaiian Islands!

gullywompr September 5, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Damn, Krauthammer is an idiot.

Oblios_Cap September 5, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Hardly a secret.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 5, 2012 at 11:56 pm

He was dropped on his head.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

By himself.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 12:21 am

He built that.

sullivanst September 6, 2012 at 9:02 am

In the log cabin he built?

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Fox News looks like The Island Of Dr. Moreau. Krauthammer is the king of the island.

valthemus September 6, 2012 at 3:27 am

Krauthammer is also emperor of the Daleks. "Exterminate! Exterminaaaaaaaate!!!"

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Dick Morris crazy mouth is 2nd in command

smitallica September 6, 2012 at 12:02 am

Forget it, he's rolling.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Good gosh, comments from Free Republic:

Well, it was a good speech overall by Clinton…preached right to the choir he did. Gotta give him that. What Democrat voters need to understand is…he isn’t running. 0bama doesn’t have any rabbits left in his hat.

Who will say to him…I knew Billy Jeff Clinton…and you are no Billy Jeff.

For them, the afterglow of the Clinton speech will be gone within days…and all that is left is the fading 0bama poster on the wall. *sigh*. My bet is that a hearty majority of them sit this one out.

PRAISE for Clinton? Romney is fucked.

Of course, normal service was soon resumed:

We’ll have to hope the females of America don’t allow themselves to be ensnared by the ‘gay black man fantasy’ thing again like they were in 2008. The ‘sexually deviant impeached president’ thing tonight was damaging enough.

Huh, Carly Fiorina is on CNN saying how good the speech was and desperately, desperately, trying to inject Republican talking points.

Pat_Pending September 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Why would anyone listen to that cunt?

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I'm not entirely sure, after her amazing idea to merge HP and Compaq.

Jerb creator? I think not.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I'll take that bet, and raise him a bad ass nun.

Serfville September 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm

What's that Carly nut doing on CNN? Did she pay someone to get on there? Her way of campaigning was making fun of Barbara Boxer's hairdo, that's why she lost. Idjet.

BoroPrimorac September 6, 2012 at 12:03 am

They hate us for our pussy gettin' skillz.

ElPinche September 6, 2012 at 12:03 am

Her brief presence on CNN spontaneously layed off 500 CNN employees and CNN's stock just dropped 500 pts.

redarmyzombie September 6, 2012 at 12:46 am

I can just hear them trying to mutter that with their teeth clenched. God, those poor bastards are royally screwed. We've got so many talented people-Michelle Obama, Mr. Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Sandra Fluke, and god knows how many people I've missed. The only thing people will remember from the RNC is some old guy yelling at a chair…

PlanetWingNut September 5, 2012 at 11:53 pm

they must gonna do hAWAII LAST..a good idea for the birthplace …as a taunt to birthers

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:56 pm

OK, the speaking Iowan delegate is adorable…

No_Wire_Hangers September 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I'm flipping between CSPAN and MSNBC freaking out. That last ididnotinhale was a mistake…

Fukui-sanYesOta September 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Which state is represented by a Jonas Brother? CNN cut to ads.

Biff September 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I thought it was genius, pointedly 'splaining how policies set in motion under raygun's watch were responsible for the mess everyone blames on the shrub.

TribecaMike September 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Second Shuggie Otis sighting! Go Iowa!

Guppy September 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Free Soil! Drink (to John Brown)!

sbj1964 September 5, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Bill Clinton brought a tear to my eye,but in a good way.Obama 2012!

CthuNHu September 5, 2012 at 11:59 pm

OMG, adorable 18-year-old girl speaks for Iowa. See that, Feinstein, Boxer and Pelosi? That's a classy delegation.

mrblifil September 5, 2012 at 11:59 pm

I wonder if after tonight Karl Rove will still consider himself "history's actor." Hey shitheel, that's how politics is done.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 12:00 am

I'm so waiting for them to get to the Michigan delegation…"Michigan, where the trees are the right height…"

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:01 am

Perverse sexual lust!

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:03 am

O'Malley figured out public speaking again, methinks.

EDIT: Dammit, no he didn't.

BoroPrimorac September 6, 2012 at 12:11 am

I saw him speaking last night and dude has a real deficit in that department.

Crank_Tango September 6, 2012 at 12:06 am

?

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 12:06 am

State Rep. Rashida Tlaib for Michigan!

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:08 am

I was wondering if she'd mention the platform amendment…

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 12:29 am

Wait, what did I miss?

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:34 am

I just figure all the Arab American Democrats were among those none too keen on the "We <3 Zionism" amendment.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 1:04 am

I'm sure they are not too keen, but realize when best to pick their battles.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 12:07 am

How dorky is it to cry for the roll call? But Michigan just pushed me over the spill level.

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:09 am

Hmm… is this Mississippi thing going to be about Husted?

Biff September 6, 2012 at 12:11 am

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS OUR NEW DELEGATE, FINALLY! THANK YOU, OHIO!

Designer_Rants September 6, 2012 at 12:11 am

OMG, someone quick make a gif of the guy with the beard and the floppy "Cat In The Hat" hat dancing. It's awesomes.

Pat_Pending September 6, 2012 at 12:36 am

He's the guy who is first out on the dance floor at every white wedding….

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 12:12 am

Three cheers for Mississippi. But I like how they put a caveat on their gift to Ohio.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 12:15 am

Poor Claire McCaskill got a yeast infection from watching Bill on TV at her home.

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:17 am

Uh… way to talk over the Nebraska lady…

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 12:17 am

So should I feel bad for going out tonight instead of watching the proceedings? The fact that our bar was visited by the guy my friends and I call Stinky for reasons you can probably guess points towards yes..

ProgressiveInga September 6, 2012 at 12:20 am

You didn't miss anything – buncha librul whiners being victims of their own shiftlessness and laziness…..

Just kidding! You missed the BIG DAWG bitchslapping the taste out of Rmoney's mouth, it was AWESOME! Arithmetic, bitches!

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 12:42 am

Silly Wonketteer. Romney taste is only a rumor among many about the OS upgrade.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 12:22 am

Your bar is bad, and you should feel bad!

SorosBot September 6, 2012 at 12:25 am

They're only bad in that they're too nice to kick the fat, bike-riding pile of BO out.

Oh, and one of the waitresses is a fucking Giants fan; but at least tonight they were playing the motherfucking Cowboys, who are even worse.

redarmyzombie September 6, 2012 at 12:52 am

Well, if you wanted to see the Republican party get cockslapped repeatedly to the point of oblivion, then yes, you should feel VERY bad!

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 12:54 am

So what you do is, you go to C-SPAN's website, replay ever bit of the speechifyin', and read the liveblog.

anniegetyerfun September 6, 2012 at 12:18 am

Doktor – you have been my favorite live blogger so far. Thank you.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 1:00 am

Aww, thanks! It was a hoot!

DerrickWildcat September 6, 2012 at 1:12 am

U R Triple A+ Gold Medal World Champion!

emmelemm September 6, 2012 at 1:12 am

Ah-greed.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:38 am

this is still making me chuckle:

We suddenly remember when the term “policy wonk” entered the national vocabulary.

barto September 6, 2012 at 12:18 am

Hell, we got freakin Jerry Brown (aka Gandolph) for gov again after a three decade hiatus, why not Big Dog in 2016 I sez? (saludos from CA, wonkaderos)

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 12:27 am

Yeah, he was a great Prez. Heck FDR did it. Why not?

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 12:29 am

Sure, why not? Maybe nobody will notice the 22nd amendment.

bobbert September 6, 2012 at 12:35 am

He could haz sekrit identity?

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 7:57 am

Don't Republiclowns stop counting 'em after the 2nd? They sure as hell don't get as far as fourteen.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 12:35 am

NAFTA II? I'd rather not.

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:20 am

Shelley Berkley: when plastic surgery goes wrong.

FlownOver September 6, 2012 at 12:24 am

Srsly. Last time I saw skin like that it had "Ludwig" printed on it.

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 12:27 am

But did you see Allyson Schwartz from Philly? Her make-over is rockin'.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 12:22 am

Dok, I'm just tuning in after your liveblog is no longer live, but my teevee's in the other room, & my computer is not of the portable sort… I'd have checked in sooner if I'd known about your debut. Nice Job!

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 12:55 am

Tanks!

No_Wire_Hangers September 6, 2012 at 12:24 am

New Mexico should have said "Obamanos". They have these great bumper stickers…

Joshua Norton September 6, 2012 at 12:24 am

Doktor…Who?

glasspusher September 6, 2012 at 12:35 am

I see what you did there…

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 5:14 pm

It only took me 16 hours.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 6, 2012 at 6:35 am

Dolor whom. Grammar people.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 12:26 am

Sheldon Silver — The Kingpin speaketh and speaketh and speaketh.

sbj1964 September 6, 2012 at 12:26 am

To parody Kathy Griffin.Suck on it GOP! Obama 2012!

mirrorballdc September 6, 2012 at 12:27 am

I hope the Democratic Party was wearing protection tonight.

Sacanagem September 6, 2012 at 12:24 pm

So THAT's why Bubba always reminds me of my ex-boyfriend…

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:27 am

And the Albany insider won't STFU.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 12:33 am

For the first time in his life, somebody told him to shut up.

Biel_ze_Bubba September 6, 2012 at 8:10 am

Maybe he knows it's his last hurrah.

PlanetWingNut September 6, 2012 at 12:35 am

hahahahha oregon stelling her to shut up

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:36 am

"Wise Latina!" Drink!

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 12:36 am

Pennsylvania, where labor unions were born. I'll drink to that.

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:37 am

OK, a gold star for the Rhode Island guy for talking fast.

EDIT: … and he loses it for not wrapping up before I get my Medicare voucher.

sati_demise September 6, 2012 at 12:37 am

Notice how quiet the room became when Clenus mentions Bowles-Simpson?

I wish some delegates had the brass to 'boo' when that travesty came up- there was some talk of this on the twittersphere, but no one came through……sigh

BOO Bowles-Simpson

Incitefully_Joe September 6, 2012 at 12:38 am

So. Bubba's speech was very… long. It was also very detailed, and very heavily ad-lib'd*

And, with all that, it's still a speech packed with so much awesome that I was pretty sad when it was over.

I only know of two people with that sort of oratory power, and tonight, they both brohugged.

*apparently due to a teleprompter malfunction? Yeah, anyone who says that teleprompters obviate natural delivery and impromptu speaking ability is full of it.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 12:41 am

Hah! Said I was going to join you guys in the comments, then went and READ all the fuckers. Upfisted every last one of you, too.

Except for that one person. You know who you are.

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 12:46 am

Fisted you back because, Courtesy. Internet Traditions,also.

There's always one.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 12:49 am

Great job Dok. Great job.

gullywompr September 6, 2012 at 12:58 am

Me three.

NellCote71 September 6, 2012 at 1:01 am

Thanks. Haven't been fisted for such a long time.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 12:41 am

Well, that's one benefit of SC not having many Dems in office- they got through their voting announcement pretty quickly…

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 6, 2012 at 12:42 am

In other news, Charles Krauthammer has figured out that Obama is in fact a super villain, and has a weather machine. On FOX News on moving the speech inside "The Democrats have known what the weather will be for months."

I guess the Republicans don't have such powers, so that excuses them having to close down their convention for a day (and not allowing us to see Donald Trump's' brilliant speech).

Pat_Pending September 6, 2012 at 12:42 am

Holy Crap! Ashley Judd!!!

PlanetWingNut September 6, 2012 at 12:45 am

STOP TALKING AND give up the votes

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:48 am

Except Ashley Judd, she can stay.

CthuNHu September 6, 2012 at 12:49 am

It's really touching that the entire population of Vermont made the trip to Charlotte.

Arborista September 6, 2012 at 2:24 am

Ben & Jerry were BOTH there? Who's minding the shop?

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 4:25 am

Speaking of Vermont and Charlotte, doesn't Charlotte have a population bigger than the entire state of Vermont?

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:49 am

What hope does USVI have of electors other than being duck taped onto Puerto Rico or (shudder) Florida?

James Michael Curley September 6, 2012 at 5:57 am

USVI is beautiful. I was there for a few weeks in the early 80's on business. Unfortunately its major industry the Hess Oil Refinery is closing down. The population is less than 100,000 and each adult is required to submit a proposed Constitution under the decades old joint US/UN agreement to allow self determination. The Constitution of the month is then submitted to the US Congress and the President who jointly red line it for spelling errors and send it back for review. The author and his committee then fly off to the British Virgin Islands for gin and tonic and make crude jokes about English School Boys.

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 9:09 am

and each adult is required to submit a proposed Constitution

Isn't the official stationery cocktail napkins?

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 9:13 am

What is Tim Duncan's role in all of this? They should declare independence and install him as the fairest, decentest and least charismatic dictator of all time!

James Michael Curley September 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

I don’t follow BB but I thought he was going to be a Ron Paul ‘delegate’ until some of the Paultard rule cooking didn’t work. I think he still lives in the USVI and I seem to remember he was going to buy a hotel on St. Croix. I still played a little golf when I was in St. Croix. The hotel had a golf course right in front and right on the beach. As you rounded the 9th, maybe 10th hole and walked along the beach you passed the clothing optional area. Talk about having difficulty keeping your eye on the ball.With Hess closing down refining and probably having a lot less rich, melanin deficient posers maybe the next round of writing a constitution will bring better assurances of true representation. But after being there I have rejected going to Caribbean ‘resorts’ because I find the income disparity alarming. Since most Caribbean resort locations are very Brit or Dutch, I doubt they have any sense of equity better than those still heavily influenced by the US interests.

Chet Kincaid_ September 6, 2012 at 10:17 am

I searched every which way, and I can find no Tim Duncan connection to any kind of politics, let alone Paultardism.

johnnyzhivago September 6, 2012 at 12:52 am

Arithmetic is for terrorists and Europeans!

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 12:55 am

Was it just me, or did the Wisconsin guy say they had 103 votes instead of 111?

Serfville September 6, 2012 at 1:01 am

Darryl Hammond on MSNBC. Hammond is a genius. I really miss seeing him. Juxtaposition Clinton's speech to Chris Crisco's speech. Crisco slathered & drewled all over himself & barely mentioned Mittens. Clinton: Speech Of The Century.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 1:01 am

I was just reflecting back to the Republican's convention, and it's crazy how shallow their bench is. In just these two nights, they made Romney and Ryan look like actors who play politicians on television. They don't have anyone who can answer Michelle, they don't have anyone who can answer Bill, and they sure as hell don't have anyone who can answer the president. I mean, even a lot of Republicans have admitted this, tonight. There isn't a Republican that can do what Bill did, tonight.

If this keeps going the way it's going, there won't be enough mouthbreathers in the world that can derail this come election day, and I'm sure as hell going to make sure that I do what I can do on my end.

No_Wire_Hangers September 6, 2012 at 1:07 am

AMEN!

Jukesgrrl September 6, 2012 at 1:29 am

Well, they don't have anyone who can speak that well, but they try to make up for it by piling on the Word Salad.

fuflans September 6, 2012 at 10:44 am

you are exactly right about their bench. which is terrifying considering they are one of only two choices and the ONLY choice for a major segment of the population.

i too am still on a clinton (convention) high. but i don't think it's in the bag.

there is the money issue. there is the race issue.

Sacanagem September 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Your mouth, God's Ear, etc.

No_Wire_Hangers September 6, 2012 at 1:04 am

They're still going on CSPAN. Go Villaraigosa. Shit, I might call CSPAN. Cuz, why not?

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 1:09 am

Friends don't let friends drunk dial C-SPAN.

No_Wire_Hangers September 6, 2012 at 1:24 am

What scared me straight was listening to a few calls…

Guppy September 6, 2012 at 1:47 am

And they were sober!

Nostrildamus September 6, 2012 at 1:16 am

The CEO of Costco is here. Usually he comes in a 10-pack.

Very impressive for a man his age.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 1:17 am

Some Repub lady caller on C-SPAN is droning on and on about how "Sandra Fluke should pay for her own birth control. She can afford it, blah blah blah."

For the billionth time, Sandra wasn't talking about herself, numbskull!

No_Wire_Hangers September 6, 2012 at 1:23 am

AH yes! I heard her. She turned out to be terrible. Her sweet midwestern accent had me fooled initially.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 1:33 am

Where are the "Mitt Romney's incredibly large penis" prank calls of yesteryear?

C_R_Eature September 6, 2012 at 6:19 am

Hey, I had CSPAN on my radio on the way to work for that last one. It totally sandbagged me and I almost got into an accident. I had to pull over to laugh it off.
Bastard.

Biff September 6, 2012 at 9:32 am

Which one of us was that?

Iam_Who_Iam September 6, 2012 at 5:04 am

Focus boys and girls, don’t let the idiots distract us with their crazy talk. The point is she is paying for her birth control; don’t let anyone forget that this plan is the Republican’s own “personal responsibility” health care plan. Sandra Fluke and any woman who pays her insurance premiums are paying for their own damn birth control.

This is not a government handout, they are not giving away free birth control pills at the corner drug store via the U.S. Government (I wish they were, but that would of been the Democrats plan and we couldn't get that passed). A woman buys insurance and her premiums pay for that birth control. If someone qualifies for a subsidy to pay for their insurance, then yea! But the greatest percentage of folks benefiting from this policy are acting responsibly by purchasing health insurance with their own hard earned dollars.

This law protects hard working people who pay for their own insurance and expect to be adequately covered for paying those premiums. Screw those assholes who are trying to turn this into some kind of welfare initiative, those idiots are wrong and I am tired of folks responding to their b.s. like it’s a legitimate concern, it’s bullshit.

No_Wire_Hangers September 6, 2012 at 1:18 am

Paul from Scranton just gave CSPAN what for!

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 1:22 am

For folks who like stuff like that, C-SPAN is showing Biden practicing his cues on stage. It's 1:22 am, Joe, go to bed!

1:24 am, Joe took my advice. Keep doing that, Joe.

Doktor Zoom September 6, 2012 at 1:28 am

OK, off to bed, kids, and just wanted to thank you for being gentle.

It was my first time, and you made that shit special.

TribecaMike September 6, 2012 at 1:30 am

Thanks for the good stuff, Dok. Nighty night.

T3rbo September 6, 2012 at 2:11 am

Hey man, there has to be a morning after. Get the fuck back here and cuddle

MosesInvests September 6, 2012 at 10:19 am

Good on ya, Dok.

rickmaci September 6, 2012 at 1:32 am

"It's the arithmetic, stupid." WJC.

DrunkIrishman September 6, 2012 at 1:34 am

Hell, after that speech, even I wanted to suck Clinton's peen.

Negropolis September 6, 2012 at 1:40 am

BTW, just for reference, Elizabeth Warren's best line of the night, IMO:

After all, Mitt Romney’s the guy who said corporations are people. No, Governor Romney, corporations are not people. People have hearts. They have kids. They get jobs. They get sick. They thrive. They dance. They live. They love. And they die. And that matters. That matters. That matters because we don’t run this country for corporations, we run it for people.

Serfville