HOW IS BABBY FORMED?  4:00 pm September 4, 2012

North Dakota Senate Candidate Rick Berg Will Send You To Prison For Your Rapebortion

by Kris E. Benson

rick berg, proudly banning rapebortionsWell well well! Now that we have a sheriff candidate who wants to kill abortionists, a governor who has decided that women are pregnant two weeks before they conceive, a GOP senate candidate who thinks that women can shut down pregnancy stemming from a “legitimate” rape, and another governor who wants to subject women seeking abortions to unnecessary vaginal probes, what exactly are we missing, here? How can we quadruple make sure that no woman ever, under any circumstances, no matter what, feels anything other than shame for accessing a constitutionally protected right to abortion or, alternatively, make it impossible for her to get an abortion in the first place? By supporting life sentences for women that kill “preborn children” with no exceptions for rape or incest or to save the life of the woman, OF COURSE, DUH.

Rep. Rick Berg (R-ND), the candidate for Senate from North Dakota, once voted for a bill that would have made any woman who obtained an abortion guilty of a homicide crime — even if it were in the case of rape or incest. Indeed, the bill Berg supported does not even contain an explicit exception if an abortion is necessary to save the woman’s life.

In 2007, Berg was among the small number of state representatives in the North Dakota House who supported the measure. It also would have imposed penalties on doctors and anyone else who “aids, abets, facilitates, solicits, or incites” a person into an abortion.

And in case you’re wondering, Berg (who, by the way, is currently a Congressman on the House Ways and Means Committee) is shocked — SHOCKED — to discover that SOME Republicans (we won’t say who) are under the impression that women can’t get pregnant from certain kinds of rape.

Berg was quick to denounce the comments of a fellow Senate Candidate, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), when he claimed that a woman couldn’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape.” Berg called the statement “insulting and reprehensible,” and “condemn[ed] them in the strongest terms possible.”

Of course, like Akin, Berg is highly qualified to legislate women’s health care decisions, given that he serves on the Congressional Prayer Caucus. And we look forward to the non-apology apology that is certain to include his deep love for rape victims and something about “misspeaking,” or “saying the wrong words in the wrong way,” or “using the words that were there.”

[ThinkProgress]

 

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{ 200 comments }

nounverb911 September 4, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Is it too late to give North Dakota back to whoever we stole it from?

weejee September 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Oil companies now own it by way of the ex post fracto laws.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:12 pm

That would be the Lakota Sioux, and they would dearly love to take it back, as long as it includes,the Black Hills, and we agree to kick out all the palefaces illegally squatting there.

BerkeleyBear September 4, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Black Hills are in South Dakota, though, so it wouldn't help. We tried giving them other land several times, but for whatever reason those pesky bastards insist that their spiritual heartland is worth more to them than a few pieces of gold or silver. Clearly they don't get the civilizing grace of capitalism.

Guppy September 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Aren't they still under sanctions?

YouBetcha September 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Fuck this asshole.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

You know he wants it.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Safe bet someone's already been there done that.

iburl September 4, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Another good anti-pregnancy tip.

PinkoPopulist September 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Well…no words…keep up the good work GOP! We'll have this country back in no time!

WhatTheHolyHeck September 4, 2012 at 6:04 pm

You make a statement using the words you have, not the words you wished you had.

PinkoPopulist September 4, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Thank you zen master.

Blueb4sinrise September 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Yes . Intense debate is fucking with us too.

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Okay, I thought it was just me having my comments rapeborted.

Geminisunmars September 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Mine just showed up late. That happens sometimes with us wimmenz.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Are your comments forcible/legitimate? Because if so, IntenseDebate has a way of shutting that whole thing down.

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Just don't try sneaking a potentially dirty/unPC word into the middle of another totally innocent word. Tried that once, didn't even know I'd done it, and an hour worth of really, really thoughtful stuff got sh* t canned. Wish I could help with the rapeborted thing, but my mama taught me better manners.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 5, 2012 at 12:36 am

I can't even figure out what is and isn't a reason to be sent to the joint for re-education. I know the big words are like 'tardo and it's infinitives (I'll be surprised if this comment isn't deleted) and anything involving "Momma's lil' doorstop" up North…but nowadays they delete shit I write for completely inconsistent and unclear reasons even after I've complied with the previous censorship (which as a Civil libertarian I find abhorrent…)…so fuck if I know what is and is not a legitimate verbal rapebortion deserving of death these days…

starfanglednut September 4, 2012 at 4:48 pm

But it's legitimate, so you won't get preggers.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm

It's easy for Republicans to dismiss the question of whether it's possible to get pregnant from rape when they are willing to prosecute rape victims for terminating their rapist's fetus. It is, after all, "just another method of conception"

coolhandnuke September 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Fracking unbelievable.

calliecallie September 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

VAGINA!

mwittier September 4, 2012 at 7:47 pm

: how does it work?

"No, really: how does it work?"

-Rick Berg

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 5, 2012 at 12:38 am

okay, since you're offering…I'll take several and equal sets of boobs with them. Hell, just give me two or three women…Buddy has got a lot of love to share.

nounverb911 September 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

By his logic, Berg should get the chair if he uses a condom?

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

No, he's a man, duh!

Callyson September 4, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Oh great, now you've done it: my mind is imagining all sorts of scenarios with Berg, and empty chair, and a condom…

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Is it bad that the first thing that combination conjured in my mind was a murder scene?

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

His comments made me feel stabby, too.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 6:48 pm

I was going for asphyxiation. Hard to get good penetration with a condom, if you'll excuse the pun.

montreal_bruin September 4, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I was thinking more "Berg, and empty chair, and a condom… and Santorum!!

Buzz Feedback September 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Some of his best friends are Rapebortions.

CrunchyKnee September 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Wow, we live in a very bizarre country.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:15 pm

"Someone ought to sell tickets"

-H.I. McDunnough-

sewollef September 4, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Isn't that what the 'Dream Act' is… one big Tickets-R-US?

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Pakistan? It feels a bit like Pakistan, but with worse food.

sewollef September 4, 2012 at 5:04 pm

But so far, without the suicide bombers…

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 6:57 pm

And boy are the Albanians relieved.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm

This kind of grand standing is bull shit. Anyone knows that that even if the law passed it wouldn't hold water in ANY SCOUS. Fucking ass hats put on their ass hats and waste people's time. FUCK THAT DOUCHE BAG!

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Yeah, Kennedy prefers abortion rights to be eroded piecemeal, not assaulted full-frontal.

NorthStarSpanx September 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

His extreme umbrage at a less insulting misconception about conception over his criminalizing essentially ALL female sex is really mind boggling.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Fetii are criminals too, my friends!

starfanglednut September 4, 2012 at 4:52 pm

No need for abortions! Just try the little buggers as adults, and give them the death penalty.

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm

But the Republican War on Women is a myth!

starfanglednut September 4, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Yeah, that's the ticket.

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 6:57 pm

That would be Mrs. War On Women to you!

–The Republicanth

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 5, 2012 at 12:40 am

It was, until Ann said "I loovvvveeee woommmeennn" which made all vaginas hum in unison and signified the war is over. Anything else is just vicious liberal lies like what we have here…

SmutBoffin September 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm

It also would have imposed penalties on doctors and anyone else who “aids, abets, facilitates, solicits, or incites” a person into an abortion.

"Inciting" abortion? Is that like running into a crowded movie theater and yelling "Hey everybody! It's two-for-one day down at the Abortionarium. Let's go!"

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm

"Come on! You know you want to! Elsie over at the Dairy Queen, she gives me abortions every week! I promise, it won't hurt!"

weejee September 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Na. Free speech, obvs.

Callyson September 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

If I were pregnant, this fucker Berg would incite me to have an abortion.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm

“aids, abets, facilitates, solicits, or incites”
Does this include the toll-takers on any for-pay highways? How about bus drivers? How about the power company for keeping the lights on in the clinic? Aren't they abetting and facilitating? Fucking morans.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

They built that abortion.

WhatTheHolyHeck September 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

The Onion is in so much trouble, you guys.

Boojum September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

His deep love for rape victims should be a cold case investigation.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Indeed, the bill Berg supported does not even contain an explicit exception if an abortion is necessary to save the woman’s life.

This would only be fair if the babby could be tried for murdering the mother.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 4:12 pm

And here was I thinking they supported the right to self-defense.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Stand your womb, babby!!!

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Nah, the babby can just invoke Stand Your Placenta

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Darn. I was just going to go with Stand Your Womb…

Maman September 4, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Ever been pregnant. It sure as hell feels like those critters are the alien getting ready to destroy you from the inside out.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm

My ex described it as doing half-gainers off her pancreas.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Mine is currently trying to claw her way out via my ribcage. I'm considering administrating our first in utero spanking, but I'm not sure I want to anger the beast.

Maman September 4, 2012 at 5:13 pm

So sorry. I know that feeling. And just as you are trying to get some sleep too, I bet!

viennawoods13 September 4, 2012 at 10:47 pm

They are parasites sucking the life out of you and storing it in batteries, which they use when they are 2 and never stop. By the time they are teens the batteries have run down and they are slumped on the couch watching a show about Canada's most dangerous road. I am in no way describing the actions of my eldest son at this moment. ps. When he was inside of me, my pet name for him was "the parasite". It still fits.

prommie September 4, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Hey thats the Catholic rule, when its one or the other, save the child. True fact, things were going south on the day of Prommie's birth, and the doctors actually asked my Dad, "which one should we save?" On account of us being papist and all. he disregarded the church's teachings and chose his wife, but I lived anyway.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Jesus fucking Christ.

prommie September 4, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I was an emergency c-section 2 months premature, which back in the days before electricity was apparently something.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Was your mom totally out of it, or was it just custom not to ask her if she personally wanted to survive?

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Back when I was a lonely pediapod in the USAF out in the ass end of nowhere,about a million years ago, I attended the delivery of a 32 week premie. Neonatal ICUs were beginning to show up everywhere, but the nearest one to me was 400 miles away. When I asked for a transfer, I was politely turned down. Not an active duty person(duh), not part of the mission, going to die anyway, etc. did it myself. Baby lived. Your dad was way better at this than the good ol' AF. Send him congrats.

ChillBill September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

IntenseDebate just aborted my comment.

SayItWithWookies September 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Nature does that spontaneously sometimes. Lucky for you that's only five years.

Estproph September 4, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Well, it clearly wasn't a legitimate comment then.

ChillBill September 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Mine never are.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Emblogryonic blogocide !

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 5, 2012 at 1:10 am

Jesus Christ that's a terrifying avatar…it's more frightening than the shark from jaws…or an alien upclose with its slobbery mouth open, ready to bite…or even the fucked up vampire CGI faces from the fright night remake. Shit…that's even more terrifying than the part in the thing where the fat guys belly turns into a mouth and bites the doctors arms off…which I'm pretty sure that when famished, christy has done repeatedly…

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm

And it aborted my comment regarding your comment. I smell a big commie rat.

Gratuitous World September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Paul Ryan approves.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Berg sounds like a candidate for a 175th trimester abortion.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Can you say "retroactive", boys and girls?

kittensdontlie September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

As a proud Bob Jones graduate, I am pretty sure North Dakota is part of Canada or Antarctica, and thus thank god, he is not our problem!

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Surely a BJ-U grad would think Berg is a God Warrior and not part of anyone's problem.

kittensdontlie September 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Sorry! My use of the 'problem' was not intended to be a factual statement(also my BJ grad statement….).

viennawoods13 September 4, 2012 at 10:50 pm

No, really, we don't want it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Clearly this proves that Todd Akin was outside the mainstream of the Republican party except for the 99% that agree with is position.

But there is no War on Women. After all, Romney's wife told us he loves women, or at least telling them what to do with their bodies.

edgydrifter September 4, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Visit Rapetacular North Dakota!–worst tourism campaign ever.

HogeyeGrex September 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm

North Dakota is for Rapists?

FlownOver September 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm

North Dakota – Making Manitoba look good since 2007

Chichikovovich September 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm

2007? Following up on an earlier comment, I'm thinking more in the ballpark of August 9, 1842

ColHeightsChic September 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm

What's the punishment for jacking off and spilling thine sacred seed?

Geminisunmars September 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Um, acne?

sewollef September 4, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Nah, my grandmother told me it grew hair on your palms.

FlownOver September 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

The same as when you're forced to finish off a whole pack when you're caught smoking – you have to keep doing it until you hate it.

This could take a while, though.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Speaking for myself, tennis elbow.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Carpal tunnel?

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Blindness?

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I only just need glasses. Whew!

emmelemm September 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Clearly, you're not trying hard enough.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I'm fapping as fast as I can!

(which will be the title of my memoirs, I should add)

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Or you quit when you were eleven or so. Catholic doctrine will do that to you. Alternatively, your dog will lick peanut butter off just about anything.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Hairy palms. Speaking of which, I need a shave.

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Yahweh kills all the uncircumcised males within a ten mile radius. Also sells all the virigns over the age of sixteen into sexual slavery, assuming there are any.

Fox n Fiends September 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm

flip flop and ya don't stop

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Is it just me or does that guy have a Sandusky vibe about him?

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Canada politely refuses.

Maman September 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I thought we stole it from the Sioux

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:35 pm

We didn't have to sue, we bought it!

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I saw what you did there. Not bad.

Chichikovovich September 4, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Yesssir, that Webster-Ashburton Treaty is looking pretty good right now.

sbj1964 September 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

You got to be Fucking kidding me? The GOP just wants to lose this election with this relentless WAR on women.WTF?Might as well just skip November!OBAMA 2012! Thank you fucktard Republicans!We could not have done it without you.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Jumping up and down while pregnant will get you 5 to 10 years in the slammer.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

What about all them pregnant women in the trailer park slamming down wine coolers and smoking Marlboros?

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 4:19 pm

That's okay as long as the wine coolers and cigs weren't purchased with food stamps.

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Nah; apparently in wingut land now someone who gets food stamps shouldn't be allowed to buy alcohol or cigarettes with their own money, along with not being allowed to have sex ever. Apparently any pleasure should be denied to poor people to these fuckheads.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Nah, that's just called being a Palin.

Geminisunmars September 4, 2012 at 4:37 pm

If they discover your stash of Evening Primose Oil (an abortifacient) you could get life.

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Five more if you're doing it while riding the back of the old mans hog. Or motorcycle. Whatever.

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Indeed, the bill Berg supported does not even contain an explicit exception if an abortion is necessary to save the woman’s life.

Hey Berg, some behavioral therapy and maybe some anti-psycho drugs would help with your clitoris envy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

You know, if you women would just stop having sex with men, it would solve this whole problem.

Blueb4sinrise September 4, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I thought they had done that years ago.
That's what they told me , anyway.

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Me too. We must know the same women. Both of them.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I find that statment difficult to masterbate to.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 4:56 pm

I've been advocating forced lesbianism for YEARS for this very reason, but does anyone listen to me? No.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I may not listen, but I be more than happy to watch any videos you are willing to share.

comrad_darkness September 4, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Republican men would have no problem with this kind of fall out. Funny enough.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Congressional Prayer Caucus = Congressional Pay for Rent-a-Cock(US)?

cmdenton47 September 4, 2012 at 4:12 pm

If you ever drive across North Dakota you only have pity for the people who live there. Then they send somebody like this to Congress. Maybe they deserve the cold winters, broiling summers and spring floods.

sewollef September 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Mosquitos, don't forget the giant mosquitos.

no_gravity September 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm

This is all leading to the ultimate goal of regulating all things sexual so the only thing left is we become a nation of kochsuckers.

NorthStarSpanx September 4, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Given that dried up 53 year old Victoria Jackson would joyfully carry a rape baby to term because it would be a blessing, leads me to believe that all these conservatives rudimentary understanding of female plumbing, conception and legal status isn't what they think it means.

No wonder they legislate the way they do.

FakaktaSouth September 4, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I want to know when these kinds of guys are going to try to make rape legal. Who are these murderous women to decide who has sex on them anyway?

I am sure glad this guy is thinking about the important parts of sexual violence and how to punish the victims.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I want to know when these kinds of guys are going to try to make rape legal.

Isn't that Sha-Na-Na law???

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Careful there. If you resist, he can just shoot you and say he was standing his ground.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 4:15 pm

"It also would have imposed penalties on anyone else who “aids, abets, facilitates, solicits, or incites” a person into an abortion."
Does that include the guy that caused the pregnancy/need for abortion in the first place? Huh? Speak up!

Ohforcripessake September 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

No, he'd get a medal.

proudgrampa September 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Well, I am sure that if he, and guys like him (Akin, e.g.) are ever ass-fucked with a "legitimate" broom handle, they can just shut that sphincter down.

Clown.

Blueb4sinrise September 4, 2012 at 4:38 pm

…shut that sphincter down.

Isn't that an old country -swing lyric?

proudgrampa September 4, 2012 at 5:22 pm

The closest I can find is "shut that hole…" or "shut that baby up…"

Definitely not a country-swing lyric!

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm

It's been tried. Chitown police if I remember. Damn thing got broken beforehand somehow, if I recall. Cost the dept 20 mill or so.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Well we know who won't get those juicy Aborto-Plex monies in his district.

kissawookiee September 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I'm enjoying this slow, delicious escalation to the inevitable climax when women, girls, and infants will be arrested for inciting men's lust by showing a bare ankle, fingernail, or stray lock of hair.

doloras September 4, 2012 at 7:23 pm

The point where Saudi Arabia will look at the Yoonited States of Jeebus and say "DAMN those guys are primitive misogynists!"

coolhandnuke September 4, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Norm Gunderson: [rubbing Margie's pregnant stomach] "Two more months."
Marge Gunderson: [smiling] "Two more months."

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

- That Rick Berg, he's kinda funny lookin'.
- Uhhuh. In what way?
- Oh, just in a general kinda way.

Barrelhse September 4, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Marge his daughter?

BarackMyWorld September 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Proving once again there's a "Blazing Saddles" quote for every occasion in the age of Obama.

(You know which quotes I mean….the ones about rape.)

prommie September 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Is it the one about raping the shit out of them at the dance later, or the "I like rape" line?

BarackMyWorld September 4, 2012 at 6:38 pm

The entire sequence for the second one:
"Rape, murder, arson, and rape."
"You said rape twice."
"I like rape."

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Isn't this the guy who was responsible for sinking the Titanic?

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I don't know. Lettuce investigate.

Callyson September 4, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Berg is highly qualified to legislate women’s health care decisions, given that he serves on the Congressional Prayer Caucus

Yeah, well, I'm praying that Berg's political life gets Rapeborted…with votes!

BloviateMe September 4, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Berg then posited "I've never heard of anybody getting pregnant while folding laundry or washing the dishes."

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

For "Christian family men" they sure wanna look at an unhealthy amount of snach.

no_gravity September 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm

That's because the sheep are on to them.

Warwhatgoodfor September 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Needs more goats.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm

By definition, snach is unhealthy. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sn

An Asexual Ungulate September 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Is there really an "unhealthy" amount of it?

Because I'm willing to be a test subject to find out where that threshold lies…

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I've made it my life's work to study this subject. Still healthy, so far.

Barrelhse September 4, 2012 at 4:44 pm

"Unhealthy amount of snatch"………… does not compute.

viennawoods13 September 4, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Pres Bartlett: Didn't they attach a family planning rider to the highway bill last year?
Josh: They did.
Pres: What's with these people? They can't stop talking about sex.
Toby: If they can't be havin' it.

edgydrifter September 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

It's easy to discount rape as a valid condition to terminate a pregnancy if you're a nominally Christian Dominionist who believes a woman's primary duty is to nurture a man's–any man's–seed and shut the hell up about it. Actually, this kind of explains the opposition to exceptions for the health of the mother, too. If pricks like this wore beards and wrote right-to-left, we'd accuse them of hating our freedom. Weird.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Most cogent argument I have heard in a while, thank you.

Jus_Wonderin September 4, 2012 at 4:21 pm

How long would I have to go to prison for my rapeabortion. I really need some time off from the stress of my job.

NorthStarSpanx September 4, 2012 at 4:21 pm

W. went as far as to provide cover for janitors who conscientiously objected to sanitizing a surgical room that may or may not lead to an abortion, even in emergencies.

But now they are trying to figure out ways to criminalize people in the same area of a pregnant woman even considering a legally protected right?

fartknocker September 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Perfect! I can build an abortionplex in Sturgis, SD. I'll give ND women safe reproductive services while they hang out and get drunk during a motorcycle rally.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Sturbortion?

FlownOver September 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Oh, for fuck's sake.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm

My vagina is not large enough for all these people who want to see what's going on up there.

BloviateMe September 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Maybe you need one of those "take a number" deals outside your vagina to keep the line flowing in an orderly manner.

RadioBowels September 4, 2012 at 4:35 pm

we're gonna need a bigger vagina.

SayItWithWookies September 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Berg was quick to denounce the comments of a fellow Senate Candidate, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), when he claimed that a woman couldn’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape.”

Well of course — there'd be no fun in executing women for having abortions if they only got pregnant when they wanted to.

bitchincamaro2 September 4, 2012 at 4:27 pm

So a pre-fetus is like a corporation?

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 4:28 pm

To tell the truth I always have the same argument to people about abortion. I personally don't agree with it (being raised Catholic) but I son't think we should make any political decisions on it until ALL 3 branches of our government is filled with at least 7 women for every 5 men. It's a woman's rights issue and as a man I have, at best, a 49.9% say so in it. And that's only talking about a very personal decision between you and your lover.

(this comment is 100% snark free)

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Thank you Baconz!

proudgrampa September 4, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I agree with you totally, Baconz! You are a gentleman and a scholar.

Here, have a martini on proudgrampa!

TavariousChinaSmith September 4, 2012 at 5:00 pm

And speaking of personal decisions between lovers, once upon a time I had a girlfriend who was completely against abortion. Until she missed her period. Then she wasted no time trying to make an appointment with the local specialist. And I wasn't consulted until she was good and sure that it had been a false alarm, not that I blamed her.

And that is why men cannot dictate to women if and when they can terminate a pregnancy. Because unless you're personally in that situation, you have no fucking clue how you should or would act.

MonkeyMotion September 4, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Shouldn't the penalty for homicide be death? I mean, really: life imprisonment?

What kinda wussy Christian is this Berg dude?

prommie September 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

So whats the penalty for spilling your seed, in the traditional Onan-like fashion? Because the way I see it, those sperms are alive, each and every one of them is a tiny little human life. Today, we men, we are all mass murderers. And you ladies, mass-cannibals. The good ones of you, anyway.

proudgrampa September 4, 2012 at 4:55 pm

"Every sperm is sacred….."

RadioBowels September 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Dana Lusch to defend in 4..3..2..

fuflans September 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

the republican party: wooing and winning the lady vote since 1328.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 4:48 pm

More like, burning them at the stake since 1431.

randcoolcatdaddy September 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm

It's fascinating to see the words "rape" and "Republican" being so tightly intertwined in the news lately.

An Asexual Ungulate September 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm

As a former North Dakotan, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for Rick Berg.

As a current absentee North Dakota voter I would also like to promise that I'll do my best to send him back to being a scummy slumlord, rather than an elected representative who refuses to represent his constituents' actual desires, soon.

mavenmaven September 4, 2012 at 4:44 pm

STONE HER! STONE HER! STONE HER!

LibertyLover September 4, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I suppose that since they are privatizing the prisons anyway, they are motivated to fill them up, and if they cannot fill them up with teh illegals, they might as well fill them with health care professionals trying to tend to women's health care, the F*ers.

fishwharf September 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm

These assholes don't know when to shut up. Don't they know that sluts vote?

Guppy September 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm

So far, the DNC has better music than the RNC.

LibrarianX September 4, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Ass whistle….

CogitoErgoSumo September 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great…

hagajim September 4, 2012 at 5:46 pm

As a proud, medically-altered male, I invite all the girls for sexy time with me because I canna make you preggers no matter how hard I try.

barto September 4, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Must also apologize for "pushing the wrong lever-arm on the dagburned voting contraption".

Pithaughn September 4, 2012 at 5:57 pm

If your wife / daughter / mother was in a late term pregnancy and was t boned by a drunk driver coming home from a bar after fracking for 30 days straight ( like they do in ND ), would you want the ER doc to be wondering " hmm, i better be careful saving this woman's life, our local DA is right wing zealot and may come after me for murder 1 "
No of course not. So quit legislating all the abortion prevention nonsense. The ladies and the doctors CAN figure it out on their own.

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Oh look, a smart Republican!

Not smart in the traditional sense, but more because he's one of the few that finally figured out that these magical devices that can actually record the history of what you say and do are REAL, so naturally, he's trying to etch-a-sketch his way out of the terrible Akin trap.

Apparently all of his constituents don't believe in these devices at all, so they have no idea of his prior record.

vaginista September 4, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Dude wants to lock people ('specially the lady ones) up for 'inciting abortion'. I imagine it's like if you run into a crowded theater and yell "Pregnant! You're all pregnant!!!" and then everyone panics and runs off to get an abortion. 'Cause that would be bad, I guess.

Negropolis September 5, 2012 at 1:07 am

I'm so glad that it's likely that North Dakota will send this clown packing.

ttommyunger September 5, 2012 at 11:10 am

Alt Cap: "My dick is this big when it's hard (in my mind)."

ShuCityRefugee September 5, 2012 at 11:40 am

I read the text of Mr. Berg's bill, and it would include "Plan B," and other contraceptive methods (including, quite possibly, tubal ligation), because it defines life as beginning with fertilization. This could also have a chilling effect on IVF procedures, if a routine error could result in homicide charges.

jzgplj September 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Assholes like this don't deserve to breath air.

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