HARD TIMES  1:41 pm September 4, 2012

Terrified DNC Reporters Trapped Inside Filthy Butthole Murder Motels, Nation Laughs

by Jim Newell

Was it really so bad, aside from the murderer?There is a crisis, in Charlotte, that outweighs all other crises in America — including “the gaffes” — right now: the DNC assigned reporters to a bunch of shitty motels and they’re unhappy. And how does the Democratic platform address this? What about the Republican platform? Not a mention, proving once and for all that this is the most unserious presidential race we’ve ever witnessed. Now your Wonkette, which is first and foremost a Rich Person’s Blog, made accommodations at a palatial, 17th century French-style estate with a stable of 400 dancing horses. Maybe if these others reporters ever got off the welfare and got jobs for once in their pathetic lives, they could live the Wonkette 1% life, too. For now, let’s read tragic descriptions from the National Review of the squalor that we, as a nation, have allowed our proud national political reporter class to all die in.

Conservative man of letters John Fund has long been a champion reporter of the common man’s struggle for acceptable living standards. Say there’s a tyrannical slumlord keeping your building well below code. Well, John Fund would head out on the first flight, just to shake that man’s hand.

But nothing could have ever prepared him for the stories he’s hearing now from colleagues at the National Review, who were assigned to a Charlotte dump and immediately fled for the warmer waters of South Carolina.

National Review was assigned to two Knights Inn properties Everyone who saw them fled immediately across state lines to an available Marriott in South Carolina rather than stay there. As one of our political correspondents reported:

The Knights Inn was the worst hotel I have ever seen, and I’ve stayed in many bad motels in my life. Two guys were dealing drugs in the room next to me, and a prostitute was working out of the parking lot. And this was in the early afternoon. The room itself was dirty, full of other people’s stuff, etc.

So drugs next door, prostitutes a whisper away, free stuff in the room — why let a little dirt get in the way of what’s otherwise a fucking jackpot?

This, however, is unforgivable:

Tucker Carlson, editor of The Daily Caller, told me that the Quality Inn his staff was assigned to was “the worst hotel you can imagine.”

Well-played, DNC, truly.

Fund then muses about why all of Charlotte’s hotels are soaked in cum and guano:

Some of the scarcity of good hotels is due to Charlotte’s relatively small size. It is the least populous city to host a national convention since the GOP held theirs in New Orleans in 1988, and the Big Easy had lots of hotels because of its popularity with tourists.

But there really is no excuse for anyone, especially women, to be assigned to hotels that are beyond dingy and in some cases clearly unsafe.

The hotels are dirty because Charlotte… is… small? A couple of quick googles tells us that Charlotte, one of the fastest growing cities in the country with a population of 750,000, has more people than both Denver and Minneapolis/St. Paul, where the 2008 conventions were held, and neither of those cities seemed to have this comprehensive STD-upon-check-in local hotel culture. Also, all chain hotels being dirty because they are in a “relatively” lowly populated area sounds like a theory one might pull out of one’s ass, for a blog post.

Here’s one we’ll pull out of our ass, for our own blog post: There are no union hotels in Charlotte. You may remember this caused a bit of tension within the Democratic coalition! Well, you get the hotel workers you pay for.

[National Review]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 222 comments }

Come here a minute September 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Don't fuck with the Charlotte Bedbugs and Cockroaches Union.

mookwrthwilson September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Union? Ain't no unions in "Right to Exploit" North Carolina….

StarsUponThars September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

It's summer in the South. Everyone has bugs.

Mojopo September 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I hope Norma Rae lights up a cigarette outside their window and has a big, fat laugh.

weejee September 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

♪♫ La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar
porque le falta, porque no tiene
marihuana pa' fumar ♫♪

If the cheapskate Teabagged Media had brought a little bud…

miss_grundy September 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Why are they complaining? Isn't this what Romney-Ryan want and that they were cheering about last week, that the job creators live well while everyone else can eat dirt and die? Well, this is what it looks like. Besides, their job is to COVER the convention, not SLEEP in their rooms. The DNC should have set up FEMA trailers or pup tents for these asshats.

Maman September 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Hahah… sounds like a dream compared to the Super8 I stayed at in Dickinson, North Dakota!

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I apologize for the drug deal I did next door.

Maman September 4, 2012 at 2:38 pm

It wasn't you that the was problem. It was all the dudes from Halliburton that creeped me out.

LionHeartSoyDog September 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Suppurate.

ChernobylSoup September 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Why is the DNC making hotel arrangements for the press?

Jim Newell September 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

it's the way they always manage it, they book up all the hotels in the area and assign them to delegates and media etc.

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

And it sounds like they put those particular reporters in their proper place.

Tundra Grifter September 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Jim:

So the reporters are whining about rooms they aren't paying for?

If it were raining beer, would they complain there were no free cups?

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

BTW, Ginger, who told you you could stay at my manse in Charlotte?

HempDogbane September 4, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I'm not buying the complaints until I hear how the waffles were.

Tequila Mockingbird September 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Curse you! Now you've stuck one of the worst songs ever made by history's most horrible band in my head; ugh.

hagajim September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

That my friend, is life in the fast lane.

Estproph September 4, 2012 at 2:40 pm

He needs to Get Over It

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 2:45 pm

… and learn to be still.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm
HogeyeGrex September 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Now, now. Take it easy.

Come here a minute September 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

These replies take it to the limit.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Forget about them at the bar with, say, a tequila sunrise.

James Michael Curley September 4, 2012 at 2:15 pm

It is not the worst song ever made by one of the worst bands until you heard it half a dozen times in a truck stop waiting room in Twenty-Nine Palms, CA.

Estproph September 4, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I feel the heat of your desert heart.

ThundercatHo September 4, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I hate them after listening to my hubby trying to learn to play their songs on his geetar over and over and over and over . . . . . . . . . . .when he got to like 50 my hands were shaking almost too hard to use my son's walkman.

Bezoar September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I think we should expand the sample for the "…history's most horrible band" category.

OneDollarJuana September 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

My favorite worst is Foreigner.

kyeshinka September 4, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Not Loverboy?

Tequila Mockingbird September 4, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Journey. FUCK THEM.

hagajim September 4, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I'll take Europe for the win.

hagajim September 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm

After all that, I think Soros might be a bit of a Desperado.

viennawoods13 September 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm

So you'll have a earache tonight.

DemmeFatale September 4, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I absolutely HATE that song!
In December, we're going to Cabo. The quaint village of Todos Santos is an hour away, and they have (what they say is), the original Hotel California.
I. Will. Not. Go. There.

alzronnie September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Considering the current state of main-stream journalism, a "political correspondent" complaining about a prostitute working out of the parking lot, brings to mind that old adage warning people against throwing stones in glass houses.

Wadisay September 4, 2012 at 2:10 pm

The WSJ and NRO reporters are probably sending their servants out to the parking lot to have sex for them.

HogeyeGrex September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

The difference being that the prostitute is up front about the transaction, and provides at least some sort of service to society for the charge.

Naked_Bunny September 4, 2012 at 4:13 pm

It's also notable that our intrepid journalists are so incapable of independent thought that it didn't even occur to them to pick up a telephone and make their own damned hotel reservations, unlike anyone else who goes to any other kind of convention ever.

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Two guys were dealing drugs in the room next to me, and a prostitute was working out of the parking lot. And this was in the early afternoon. The room itself was dirty, full of other people’s stuff, etc.

Yeah, but was there at least free Wi-Fi?

Beowoof September 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

And I thought those were services that the republican press were always interested in finding. Don't get your undies all wedged up because you don't have concierge to negotiate the rates for you.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Nah. The worst was no mini bar.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

It wasn't a gay prostitute, hence why Fund is so upset.

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

He thought the prostitute working the parking lot was the mark a really bad hotel?

Here's the official cheap hotel grading system:

Prostitute comes when you phone her: Good Hotel
Prostitute working the parking lot: Just-OK hotel
Prostitute corpse in dumpster: Not a good hotel
Prostitute corpse under bed: Bad hotel

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

And the place you manage?

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Prostitute corpses served as complementary breakfast?

(JK, it's actually kind of a nice little old-world, euro-boutiquey kinda place.)

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Prostitute provided by concierge and billed to your expense account as "room service": Great hotel

I only stay at great hotels.

TavariousChinaSmith September 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Assumption that all employees are prostitutes who are ready for the sex whenever you are: Bad (though extremely wealthy) client.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Republicans built that.

Actually, they probably did, come to think of it, in all senses of the phrase.

nounverb911 September 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Where did the DNC stick Fox and Friends?

freakishlywrong September 4, 2012 at 1:51 pm

In South Carolina. North Carolina is to librul for them.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I'm pretty sure FOX keeps them in pods, so there is no chance they might be influenced by the real world.

FlownOver September 4, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Up their own asses, if there's anything to this "karma" stuff.

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Why didn't the DNC give the National Review reporters the accommodations they deserve, like a makeshift cardboard hut inside a sewer outflow pipe?

Guppy September 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Hotel franchisee = small businessmen
dealer & hooker = entrepreneurs

What's the big deal?

hagajim September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Hookers are people too my friends.

LibertyLover September 4, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I bet they vote. Someone get them a "Sluts Vote" button!

Beowoof September 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Oh shit, having to travel like the poors now are we. And a Quality Inn for Tucker Carlson, now that is funny. Quit your bitching when Mitt is elected this will be the high life for all but the 1%.

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

the Quality Inn his staff was assigned to

You know he didn't even consider checking in; just had some non-millionaire plebe check it out so he could write about it.

Callyson September 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Two guys were dealing drugs in the room next to me, and a prostitute was working out of the parking lot. And this was in the early afternoon.

Got a problem with free enterprise, buddy?

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Just put on your complimentary DNC hoodie so you will blend in and shut the fuck up.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Why do Republicans hate small businesses?

CthuNHu September 4, 2012 at 3:57 pm

BLOWJOBS
—————– = JOBS
BLOW

It's science!

Why do Republicans hate job creators?

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Drug dealers and whores in the middle of the afternoon? Sooooooo what's the problem here. Sounds like a nice one stop hotel to me.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I know! Last time I was in Amsterdam you had to wait til late in the day for the good hookers. Wake and bake always appropriate, however.

sbj1964 September 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Maybe if they stayed at a Holiday Inn express they could at least pretend to write news.

bitchincamaro2 September 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Where does it say "palatial" in Fourth Estate?

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Those whining people should just go out and stay at those old post-war modern motels on the outskirts of town, where the old US highways run. Sure, the lobby smells like curry and the pool has been filled in, but the prices are always low!

Hammiepants September 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Heh, I love the idea of Fucker Carlson getting bedbugs.

RadioBowels September 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

MRSA on his bow tie works too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

There are somethings even a bedbug won't suck.

kittensdontlie September 4, 2012 at 2:18 pm

He is the reason Charlotte has bedbugs!

JohnnyQuick September 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

That douche doesn't deserve to live in the same world as those hot pictures of Ms. Schoenkopf.

SoBeach September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Bless their hearts. Maybe the DNC can make up for this with some cookies and warm milk before tucking them in at night.

Mumbletypeg September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

"It's a Great Day To Flee To South Carolina!" is an expression of desperation I never thought I'd hear, not even from a Republican.

freakishlywrong September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

This couldn't happen to a better group of people.

mavenmaven September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Reporters are not people, either.

hagajim September 4, 2012 at 1:51 pm

So I'm a little confused by the headline and the fact that Tucker's boys are running….I would think those guys from the Daily Caller might like their buttholes murdered…also, were the prostitutes male, yet another attraction for the National Review and Daily Caller types. So what is so attractive in So. Carolina…better rent boys?

RadioBowels September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

The rooms were full of empty chairs!!1!

Beowoof September 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

And when the republican reporters walked in they were able to fill the empty chairs with empty suits.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Welcome to the South. Non-plantation version.

FakaktaSouth September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

They couldn't tell something called Knight's Inn was a shithole from the name? (finally, knowing something helpful from just being from "down here")
I have never been to Charlotte, but really, they thought they would have castles?

mayor_quimby September 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I have seen some terrible Kinghts Inns in GA, they all look like you can get meth or a hooker any time. Luckily I've never had to stay in one, but those assholes should have used Tripadvisor before they got there.
Does their free market magazine not pay for smartphones?

An_Outhouse September 4, 2012 at 5:59 pm

prices start at 29.74 a night. 'nuff said.

deanbooth September 4, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Well, they've got White Castles and Krystal palaces.

ManchuCandidate September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Was the Motel Six unavailable?

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Who will leave the light on for you?

ManchuCandidate September 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

The Invisible Hand!

GhostBuggy September 4, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Sorry, the invisible hand is too busy giving handy j's to Tucker and the other johns at some shitty Quality Inn somewhere.

miss_grundy September 4, 2012 at 4:20 pm

They could have stayed at a Hampton Inn or a La Quinta. I've stayed in a couple in the south and they were okay. Not luxury, but very serviceable.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

LOL for some reason that reminded me of some old Motel 666 parody…"we'll leave the burning goat out for you"

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

They shouldn't get too worried, unless Rory Calhoun is working the front desk.

OzoneTom September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I loved that movie. Good old Farmer Vincent.

viennawoods13 September 4, 2012 at 5:59 pm

OMG. When I started working at a sleazy movie theatre in downtown Toronto back in 1980, THAT was the movie that was playing!!

Preacher_Griz September 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I personally achieve Great Delight by sitting on Hotel Comforters butt-naked and just sorta letting my secretions become one with the linen and such.

And I visit Charlotte A LOT because of NASCAR!!!!

emmelemm September 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I am both horrified and laughing right now.

James Michael Curley September 4, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Sounds like you are the generous type giving a warm, dark environment for spelunking bed bugs.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I'd like to think that this is Biden's doing.

SayItWithWookies September 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

The DNC is probably operating on the theory that if you rub a Republican's nose in his own mess he won't do it again. But I don't think that message will get through to the sharp minds at the National Review until they attend some sort of convention in Kandahar.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Works with the cat… but maybe the cat's just really smart.

RRoccoco September 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm

So the servile, sychophantic political press corpse (not you, Supreme Editrix, and your hale and hearty Wonketteers) have to live a few days like the rest of us poor slobs. The bleeding heart just bleeds more! O, the humidity! But really, if I checked in and found a good dealer in my digs, I'd find a way to stay at least two weeks. But I'd leave the working girls for the Repubs. Never get into a bidding war with a horny Republican.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

You won't get into a bidding war with a Republican over a working girl.

Gratuitous World September 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Will the intrepid Daily Caller journalists interrupt a drug deal to ask why they prefer to deal the foreign-derived crack as opposed to Made In USA Meth?

OneDollarJuana September 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

"But there really is no excuse for anyone, especially women, to be assigned to hotels that are beyond dingy and in some cases clearly unsafe."

I, for one, am tired of the gender inequality still rampant in our society. Why should women not be assigned to the same dirty, dingy, and unsafe motels that we men are expected to be assigned to? Wake up, sheeple!

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Bitch bitch bitch. Baconz had to travel about alot when he was cutting his teeth in the job market and I can tell you I've stayed in some flea bags that I wouldn't even take my pants off to go to sleep. But you know what. They were free. You get what you pay for ass faces.

Goonemeritus September 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

If the National Review doesn’t like their accommodations now what will be their reaction to the post-election FEMA death camps.

BoatOfVelociraptors September 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Soon these people might discover a melanin based rights and wealth allocation system.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

A Quality Inn is the worst motel he's ever seen? Really? These people need to get out in the real world once in a while.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I did a couple nights in the Quality Inn in Bar Harbor a couple weeks ago and it was pretty spiffy. Of course, Maine is not North Carolina.

EatsBabyDingos September 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

They could stay with Darling Nikki Haley-I hear she likes political reporters.

emmelemm September 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Met her in a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine?

freakishlywrong September 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

A little more subtle than "go the fuck away". But only a little.

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Since my hotel is experiencing its usual post-labor-weekend slowdown, I'd be happy to offer the conservatard reporters a special rate here, conveniently located just over 3000 miles from the convention floor.

Hey, NR and Politico, I've got a half dozen basic rooms open this week; I'll give you a $115/night* rate, convention special.

(*regular rate $60)

Biff September 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Heh. I used to travel for a state governmental agency I worked for. We could turn in a claim of $24.99/night without a receipt, so a $20 room got us $5 walking around money. With a receipt, they'd go all of $79 except in places like San Diego or San Francisco, where they'd pay $84. One place I frequented had room rates of $69. When I asked for the government rate, it was $79. Wasn't my money, what did I care?

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I run into this kind of game fairly often, since our cheapest room is $45/night (winter rate.) I've had a few government employees suggest I charge their GSA card the full $79, and give them back the balance in cash.

I just sort of chuckle, like they're kidding around and say something like, "That sounds like some federal prison time for one or both of us, should the wrong person find out."

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

You haven't stayed in the worst motel ever until you have found a bucket of fish parts in the ice machine.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Free fish parts? Talk about amenities!

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

What about finding a bucket of human parts?

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Eh. Human parts might be more upsetting, but fish parts smell worse.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

In Japan, that is considered a bonus.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

That's called a "continental breakfast buffet" over there.

James Michael Curley September 4, 2012 at 2:54 pm

As I've mentioned often I live on the shore. There are three fishing piers and long before dawn five or six blue and striper fishermen per pier every morning. Problem is they don't always follow the catch size or limits. I can tell when the NJDEP was patrolling because you can smell what got ditched in the weeds along the road.

Veritas78 September 4, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Ah, so it was you who found them! I wondered where they went. Sorry about that.

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Hello, old chum!

DonnyKerabotsos September 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Bunch of pussies… You never heard Hunter S.Thompson complain, did you?

PubOption September 5, 2012 at 4:30 am

As long as the hotel had free ethernet, he wouldn't complain.

Biff September 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

If I don't smell curry coming from the manager's quarters, I keep going.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Quarters? Fuck, if the manager doesn't live in a yurt, I'm moving on.

fishwharf September 4, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Yes, I've always wanted to ask if I could join them for dinner, but I've never had the nerve.

mrblifil September 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Golf claps DNC.

TootsStansbury September 4, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Golf Claps? If this was intentional *Waves lighter frantically overhead yells "FREEEEEEEEEEEBIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRD WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!*

rocktonsam September 4, 2012 at 2:01 pm

"Rich Person's Blog"

HA

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

WTF else do you expect in Charlotte, NC?

And hey, assholes, this is the shit that real america has to put up with every time it travels or goes to bang a friend's wife.

Tundra Grifter September 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Isn't a hooker working the parking lot better than knowing she just left the room they gave the reporter?

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

"The room itself was full of other people’s stuff, etc."

Obviously dude was drunk and ended up in someone else's room.

shelwood46 September 4, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Also, the drug dealers were just two blah guys who happened to be in the room next door, and the prostitute was a girl in a short skirt waiting for her ride home in the parking lot.

Peckerwood_Pete September 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Hotels are people..

… and that to call another person "filthy" is vile… just vile…

Blueb4sinrise September 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Hey Re-Puke Press! Jeebus wuz borned in a motherfucking STABLE!!!!!!!!! So suck it up!!!!
Or do you think you are MORE DESERVING THAN JEEBUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DahBoner September 4, 2012 at 4:34 pm

#WINNING

Tundra Grifter September 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

John Fund:

People who call New Orleans the "Big Easy" prove they know nothing about that city.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 2:11 pm

They did, however, see the movie.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Two words: Ellen Barkin.

miss_grundy September 4, 2012 at 4:28 pm

No, two words: Dennis Quaid, 'cause he was dead-sexy back in the day.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

The ones at the Motel 666?

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Shit, I've had to stay in shithole motels where, if all the non-smoking rooms were taken and you opted for the smoking, they made you smoke.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Being as it's the South, were they able to find a place that would let the Obamas have a room?

LibrarianX September 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Watch out for Reince Priebus sitting in a darkened motel attic, wearing wigs.

prommie September 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

What a bunch of whining, snotty, derisive, NY-DC-Hollywood axis spoiled jerks these National Review whiners are.

prommie September 4, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Hey, in Atlantic City you can opt for the "Dead Body Under The Bed" feature, which is always nice!

FakaktaSouth September 4, 2012 at 2:15 pm

And always better than the Book of Mormon in the Marriott nightstand.

prommie September 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ever read Mark Twain's review of the Book of Mormon? Hi-larious, and public domain, its gotta be out there.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

This one, from "Roughing It"?
http://truthandgrace.com/twainbom.htm

Lazy Media September 4, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Charlotte gets a lot of trucker traffic heading from Southeastern ports/warehouse/factories to the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast. Truckers want the cheapest possible room, and meth and hookers are two of the stars in their rating system. The fact that the DNC put the douchiest of rightwing bloggers in trucker motels makes me hope they did it on purpose.

NONE of those hotels can be as bad as the Scottish Inn in Greensboro, though, where I spent the night on a recent drive from Atlanta to DC. Hookers, check. Smoke smell in a nonsmoking room, check. Grungy bathroom with no water pressure, check. Loud all-night partying, check and mate.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I sure hope you got the "cigarette burns on the tub and the TV" suite.

Lazy Media September 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Hells yeah. And they didn't even charge me extra for the deafening rattle in the A/C.

prommie September 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Red Roof Inns all have the same features!

Lazy Media September 4, 2012 at 2:37 pm

This is a sign of America's decline since Reagan began dismantling the place. When I was dating my future wife in the '80s, we used to go to cheap motels all the time — Knight's Inn, Quality Inn, Red Roof Inn — and they were perfectly OK places.

prommie September 4, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Remember when your utilities, you know, electricity, phone, were pretty much reliable and didn't just "go off" for days at a time whenever the wind blows?

ravi_shankar September 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

We prefer the term “lot lizard” if you don’t mind. 10-4, y’all.

Antispandex September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

So…we're supposed to pretend to be concerned that Tucker Carlson's "staff" didn't like a Quality Inn they were too snobby to stay at? Really? I wouldn't even care if poor Tucker didn't want to stay there…where was he staying, BTW?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

If they are real reporters, shouldn't they be too drunk or stoned to notice the condition of their rooms?

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm

DSK is not impressed.

Steverino247 September 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Mother! Blood!

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Wait a minute, National Review has reporters?

gogogodzilla September 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Obviously they've never been to Atlantic City.

Jus_Wonderin September 4, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Okay, I might be stupid, but the DNC pays for their rooms????

Blueb4sinrise September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I imagine a re-make of It Happened One Night starring John Fund and Tucker Carlson.

Veritas78 September 4, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Let's do lunch.

Blueb4sinrise September 4, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Have investors?

Veritas78 September 4, 2012 at 8:11 pm

No, but I've found a driver and that's a start.

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

National Review was assigned to two Knights Inn

Errrr, the only Knight's Inn…and I invite Editrix to visit one with me…is the one on Route 9 in Jersey and it's a *koffkoff* Executive Stay Motel….

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I told them to hold their convention in High Point, NC, "The Furniture Capital of the World." But no, they said, ""when's the last time chairs got media attention?" Morons.

ravi_shankar September 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

High Point has moved to S E Asia when Andy, Oppie, Aunt Bee and the gang retired. *sigh*

bobbert September 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Quite brilliant, that.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 3:29 pm

High Point is also where John Coltrane grew up, which would have appealed to the vast numbers of free jazz-loving swing voters.

Guppy September 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

You didn't turn that trick, somebody else did!

ravi_shankar September 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Bonuses and promotions to all who planned this welcome for sucky media.

randcoolcatdaddy September 4, 2012 at 2:22 pm

National Review could have made crystal meth with the stuff left behind in their room by the previous guests. When Dems give you cockroach motels, make lemonade, people!

BlueStateLibel September 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Wah, wah, I want the Four Seasons Hotel, what a bunch of whining cry babies.

CountryClubJihadi September 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Tucker, the bedspread is made of polyester so that you can easily scrape the dried spooge marks off. It's not that hard. Suck it up. The Daily Caller isn't sanitized for our protection, either.

James Michael Curley September 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Point of Discussion!

What happens with the non-Mormon Secret Service members if Mitt the President goes into the Inner Temple? Do they stay out side? Does the Secret Service have to hire only Mormons for the detail?

I told Ms Curley I would ask someone these questions.

Your1%Uncle September 4, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Are we sure the "drug dealers" and "prostitutes" weren't just your fellow libtard media "elites"?

OneYieldRegular September 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Next they'll complain that the food is awful and portions too small.

Blueb4sinrise September 4, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Tucker is HERE and made a poopie!!!!!!!!!!

fuflans September 4, 2012 at 2:35 pm

hotel earle

DonnyKerabotsos September 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Are you a trans or a res?

Mojopo September 4, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Dear Republican Pinworms Circling The Anus of Journalism: Hopefully it is hotter than hell where you are, because heat is the only thing that effectively kills bedbugs. Better ask your Satanic Majesty to crank up the thermometer. If you can get your little puny-ass room microwave to work, try prying the door open and turning it on, and then just aim it around the room.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Something tells me National Review isn't staying in South Carolina because Charlotte's hotels aren't quaint enough for them. http://www.bikers-stuff.com/catalog/HS169SouthCar

HogeyeGrex September 4, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Well, perusing the Knights Inn site, I found that it links this page of reviews for one of the likely fleabags. "Rates from $29.74." Wooooo!

Sounds like a real charmer. lol.

DNC to NR: Dear Sirs, get stuffed.

HogeyeGrex September 4, 2012 at 2:51 pm

This somehow reminds me of the old Zappa Swaggart-themed Beatles medley.

"Isn't it swell. Texas Motel."

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Tucker Carlson hates it when the politicians cocks are already sucked before an interview. How the hell does that dirty whore expect him to keep up his excellent levels of "press access" if he can't do his signature Bowtie Ticklescrote move?

SheriffRoscoe September 4, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I'm not sure I understand the concept of hotels being "assigned." What is this, fucking Russia?

rocktonsam September 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Wait, Tucker Carlson has a staff?

Sacanagem September 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I can understand why a political reporter would get upset about prostitutes muscling into their turf. Still.

SheriffRoscoe September 4, 2012 at 3:17 pm

"Because How Much Time Are You Going To Spend In Your Hotel Room, Anyway?"

I should have gone into advertising. I could sell the shit out of every fleabag motel in the country with my slogans.

Baba_NinjaCat12 September 4, 2012 at 3:25 pm

An outline of murder victim on the motel carpet floor are people too.

SaintRond September 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm

The most consideration I'd give Tucker Carlson is an olive in the toilet, like I do on my dog's birthday.

thefrontpage September 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Who the hell gives a damn? And why is a private political party dealing with hotels and motels for media and press or whatever? Let the damn press and media or whatever find their own damn places to stay–like real people in the real world. Gawd almighty, DNC and media folks–grow up, get a grip, and join the real world. What a bunch of wusses.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm

So where's Megyn Kelly staying, the royal suite at the Burj Al Arab Resort in Dubai?

Comrade Wingtardd September 4, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Well … you don't go to the convention in the hotels that you want, but the hotels that you have

Naked_Bunny September 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm

The reporters are in bed with the politicians anyway, so why do they suddenly want separate rooms now?

zippy_w_pinhead September 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm

It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters…

fishwharf September 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm

What a bunch of whiners.

An_Outhouse September 4, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Knights Inn : from 29.74 a night. WTF did they expect?

An_Outhouse September 4, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I stand by the Quality Inn in Beckley, West Virginia. I've always been impressed by the accommodations there. Plus there's a Hooters within walking distance.

Designer_Rants September 4, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I LOVE this story! Suck it Tucker.

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Unless the parking lot prostitute gets there first! FREE MARKET!

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 6:19 pm

OT, but the next junior Senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Elizabeth Warren, is being interviewed on the PBS News Hour tonight.

Fixed it.

glamourdammerung September 4, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Why is the DNC involved with getting hotels for the Daily Caller and the noted white supremacist blog National Review?

glamourdammerung September 4, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Also, I find it odd that they are complaining about the anti-union, Galt's Gulch-like utopia that is North Carolina.

glamourdammerung September 4, 2012 at 7:37 pm

So the guy that is "just like Hitler, Stalin, and Micheal J. Fox" did not get a bunch of white supremacists and other members of right wing blogs 5 star hotel rooms?

And they are seriously crying about this?

Who really is supposed to care about these leeches that refuse to buy their own accommodations?

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 7:38 pm

TRAPPED INSIDE FILTHY BUTTHOLE

I'm confused. I thought Tucker Carlson was in North Carolina, not locked in the Daily Caller offices??

Smithboy September 5, 2012 at 7:38 am

When Tucker walked into his room wearing madras shorts, a polo shirt with a cashmere sweater tied around his shoulders he wretched when he saw his room faced a parking lot.

DesertTed September 5, 2012 at 10:52 am

You talk about cum and guano as if those are bad things. In Charlotte, those are hotel amenities.

ttommyunger September 5, 2012 at 11:00 am

Carlson and Fund weren't pleased? Maybe they should try stealth-camping, I never have any of the problems they encountered. Carlson and Fund in a camo-tent, crapping in a slit trench? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! I crack myself up.

gurukalehuru September 5, 2012 at 11:34 am

Why is the DNC responsible for Fucker Carlson's room, anyway?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

You see, this just gives me an easy, peaceful feeling.

kyeshinka September 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I myself have learned to be still.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I can't tell you why, but one of these nights I'll be already gone.

GhostBuggy September 4, 2012 at 5:05 pm

On one hand (no pun intended), hearing Tucker Carlson bitch about a Quality Inn is infuriating because you just know he thinks it's terrible because it's not some swank luxury place. On the other hand, I worked third shift at a Quality Inn while in college that was indeed just the worst.

I stayed at a Drury Inn for the first time recently. You get free booze nightly until a certain time, so that was pretty rad.

An_Outhouse September 4, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I've had good luck with the Quality Inns I've been to the last 2 years. Maybe have low standards but they had frigerators, microwaves, and WiFi.

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