yeehaw

Hello Charlotte, Ready To Rumble?

Them Duke boys

It is time for your Democratic Convention-flavored Charlotte hoe-down, North Carolina, and we will be seeing you tonight at six! The party is at our secret Casita de Wonkadonk, so email wonketteparty@gmail.com for the supersecret address, and also please don’t come by the rest of the week to murder us. Really! Please!

As always, there will beer, and we will get some sort of food so you don’t just throw up Fat Tire all over our back yard, unless you are Ghost GG Allin and that’s just how you are. (Gross.)

Anyway, come on by — ahem — y’all.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Isn't there a bar there named "Charlotte's Web" somewhere around there?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Sounds like a lesbian bondage club.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        And that's a bad thing….how?

        • BaldarTFlagass

          It'll be full of Republicans?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Oh. Well. Carry on, then…

    • FakaktaSouth

      Maybe but I bet it spends all it's time doing tributes to Chris Christie, wonketters don't wanna go there.

      • Arborista

        HE'S SOME PIG!

  • Barbara_

    Becca, if you wear Daisy Duke shorts I will pay for the drinks.

    • nounverb911

      Wear them in NYC next week please.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I already know the address, because I work for the Department of Defense. Helpful hint: try to avoid having the place look like a Muslim wedding reception from 40,000 feet.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Something old,
      Something new,
      Something borrowed,
      Something blown to smithereens by a Hellfire missile…..

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Will Editrix be wearing her Daisy Dukes?

    Cuz that might be hot.

    • emmelemm

      "Might be"?

      • Crank_Tango

        I met editrix in person and can unequivocally state that it would be very hot indeed.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It's got to be better than the Tragedy in Tampa .

    • BaldarTFlagass

      All it would take for that to be the case would be more than one woman in attendance.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Casita de Wonkadonk

    Where there will be much BaDonkAWonk…

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      That sounds like something that occurs at Gilley's in Texas.

  • nounverb911

    Will there be an official Wonkette peanut thrower at the get together?

  • FakaktaSouth

    Dang, I just do not get enough good ghost GG Allin references in my day. Excellent. And NO ONE could possibly do what that guy did and not also be ghosted, but if so, there MUST be pics.

  • CapnFatback

    Great, now you've just made me envision Chris Christie dressed as Boss Hogg. Are you proud of yourself, Rebecca?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Speaking of that show, I spent my high school years in a bedroom suburb of San Antonio, and all the cops in the little town knew where all us troublemakers lived. There was never any thought of trying to outrun them like the Duke boys, although several of us had cars that were probably capable of doing so. They'd just come over to our house later if we tried that. Didn't Boss Hogg know where them Duke boys lived?

      • CapnFatback

        The cop cars could never make the jump over the crick surrounding the Duke compound, duh.

      • James Michael Curley

        Didn't I see you down in San Antone,
        On a hot and dusty night?
        You were eatin eggs in Sammy's,
        When the black man there drew his knife.

        Only got to San Antonio a couple times and never found a Sammy's. Is/Was there one?

        • BaldarTFlagass
          • James Michael Curley

            Doesn’t look rauncy enough.People told me it was down by Riverwalk and I couldn’t cover much ground as I flew there in a Cessna 150 and had to fly back the next morning.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            No, that's a pretty grungy area, and nowhere near the Riverwalk.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Catherine is my favorite Bach since C.P.E.

    • Chichikovovich

      I've always had a weakness for P.D.Q. myself.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Needing moar tromboon?

      • Biff

        Who was both misunderstood, and misunderstanding.

  • Baconzgood

    I just want to point out as a fan of the Dukes of Hazzard and brunettes, I was super disappointed in the movie. Really people, Jessica Simpson as Daisy. Daisy Duke is probally the main reason I've never dated a blond. I've never even walked up to a blond in a singles bar and bought her a drink.

    • nedbeaumontjr

      When Simpson was announced in the cast, my first reaction was that she didn't have the gravitas to wear the shorts.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        The plural is "gravitatas."

        • nedbeaumontjr

          If your tatas are in your Daisy Dukes, you've got bigger problems than my opinion.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      blondezizgood

  • freakishlywrong

    I am in awe at the capacity of my liver. I'm completely, fucking blown away to bits over yours, Editrix.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      She has huge lobes.

    • BornInATrailer

      Hopefully it isn't all huge, green and crunchy like a giant wasabi pea.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

      She comes from a family of very long livers.

  • Mojopo

    Did I win the trip to Charlotte yet?

  • Come here a minute

    Speaking of ghosts, yesterday Tom Tomorrow borrowed Wonkette's own "Ghost Andrew Breitbart" over at the great orange Satan.

    • Guppy

      Just so long as they don't try to remove Our Editrix from liquor, as some other morning-winning websites are known to do.

  • eggsacklywright

    Does David Duke wear Daisy Dukes when he's feelin' frisky?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I'm afraid of John Cole wearing the Daisy Dukes.

  • sbj1964

    When Obama gets out of the Presidential Limousine he should crawl out the window like Nascar drivers to make the locals cheer.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And as someone else suggested, wearing the Richard Petty wraparounds. And maybe with a firesuit plastered with the logos of all his corporate sponsors.

    • James Michael Curley

      Then up a fence.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Yeah, the Democratic Nati…..mmmmm Daisy!!!…(it doesn't take much to spoil us Wonkettes)….

  • MinAgain

    Why, bless your heart.

    Caveat. In the south, that phrase does not necessarily mean what you think it means. Pay close attention to the context.

    • freakishlywrong

      It's a cleverly issued "fuck you" if done right.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Yes, some examples follow:

        Bad hair cut= "Who cut your hair? Bless your heart."
        Short skirt="What happened to the rest of your skirt? Bless your heart."
        Ugly kid="That's an interesting looking boy. Bless his heart."

        All delivered in a high, fake sugary voice while sticking in the shiv.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Looking forward to Todd Akin's keynote.

  • nounverb911

    Is it okay if I bring my cousin Clint and his talking chair along?

    • NorthStarSpanx

      It's the 21st Century "Harvey."

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        DONNIE DARKO LIBEL!

    • James Michael Curley

      I texted one of my buddies who is a delegate to talk up having someone deliver the response to Romney's speech to a clothes rack with an empty suit hanging on it.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    "unless you are Ghost GG Allin and that’s just how you are. (Gross.)" And its Halloween! (wasn't that his thing to kill himself on Halloween?

  • Mojopo

    My people are originally from North Carolina. My grandmother was a life-long Democrat, not a Dixiecrat, who actually lived through the Great Depression and WW II. If anyone talked shit about FDR, she would fight them. Literally. I sure wish she was alive to visit the convention, because she had really strong arms from raising 10 kids and making biscuits for the chain gangs that came through. She would have been the best security detail in the world. RIP, Granny Smith.

    • freakishlywrong

      She sounds crunchy and tart! My southern Granny was the same. If she were still alive she'd write in FDR.

    • Gorillionaire

      I live in NC now, and my neighbor is a 92 year old FDR fanatic. In 2004 we were talking about the election and he basically said to me that every candidate since FDR has basically been shit in comparison.

      • Mojopo

        OMG, exactly.

      • emmelemm

        He's not entirely wrong.

  • Baconzgood

    Catherine Bach is faptastic!

    • prommie

      I loved her in that Caveman movie, with Ringo!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Atook alunda Lana. Zug-zug!!!

        • prommie

          And a fine klaatu barada nikto to you, too!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    They could never catch those guys.

  • gullywompr

    Alcohol is good for washing the tar off your heels, y'all.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    The President will accept the nomination wearing a cowboy hat and Richard Petty wrap-around sunglasses

  • CapnFatback

    I'd go only to catch a glimpse at Cooter.

    • CapnFatback

      . . . who, all innuendo aside, is a former Democratic Congressman.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I haven't seen any cooter shots in the pix that have been posted here of the various Wonkette meetups, but I guess there's going to have to be a first time eventually.

      • HistoriCat

        You know they have those shots – they just don't share them with us.

  • Arborista

    Keep an eye out for this guy: http://www.thestate.com/2012/09/04/2424956/clybur

  • Baconzgood

    If you haven't decided yet may I suggest Milestone by the airport. It's a pretty cool club. I saw Tar there once.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Tar? Is that the guy with the Heel down yonder?

      • Baconzgood

        The singer had an aluminum guitar. It was pretty cool.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    "some sort of food" ought include jell-o mold salad, if it is wonkette-related and if it is in the south, dang it.

    • MissTaken

      The Rush Limbaugh Under The Sea salad, perhaps?

    • MosesInvests

      Pimento cheese or GTFO!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I wanna have a Wonkette thingy at my house! We can burn trash in my backyard and listen to my neighbor possibly beat up his girlfriend. Then we can go downtown and score meth and get the wonkette dominatrix tattooed on our asses.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      It hurts being rural. I just pretend when I drink that it's a Wonkette Drinky Thing… and I'm the only one that showed up.

      edit: to be fair, I have some hellacious bonfires at my Wonkette Drinky Things.

    • prommie

      Jesus. I am horrified, yet strangely fascinated.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        Don't judge me!

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Will there be lasers?

  • IonaTrailer

    OT- but I loved the article from the New Yorker about how Ryan lied about his time in the Marathon. What a lying asshole. http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/20

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Ah, cmon. He was only off by an hour or so.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i wonder if anyone will hurl peanuts at a camera person.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Looking at the post featuring the real TTommyUnger, does this mean that all the Wonkette men are as hot as I imagine them to be?

    • Biff

      Yes. Yes we are.

    • ttommyunger

      Only in our own minds…..

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    It's sad about Charlotte apparently not having a cool bar to hang out in — it correlates with the NRO trashing the town's hotels just because they were put up in a place crawling with pimps and crack dealers. Really, you'd think they'd be reveling in the free-market world they helped create.

  • Barrelhse
  • Peckerwood_Pete

    I wonder what's more ironic… the GOP tards holding their "We Built This A-Thon" at a tax payer funded stadium…. or the DNC holding their convention at Bank of America stadium…

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    We are all livertarians now.

  • Gorillionaire

    I am too old to know any better now, but there used to be a couple of fantastic punk rock clubs in Charlotte. The Milestone had all the good national punk bands drop by.

  • Biff

    Hate to be a grammar nerd, but shouldn't that be alla y'all?

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Why is that lady sit on the shifter?

  • anniepantz

    The BEST thing about Charlotte is Amelie's 24 hour French bakery. That's right. It's open 24 hours! Never closes. Evah!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com BelleSC

    Well, for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure of meeting The Editrix, she is HOT. And I say that as a straight female. Add to that her charming personality and obvious brilliance and what a ticket!

    I could stay for only a short time at the drink thingy. But there was food and plenty of beverages. I left just as the guys were trying to get the teevee to show the convention instead of reruns of Soul Train which were actually quite fun.

    Oh and RILEY was there! WOOHOO. And Jim. And some other lovely people whose names I didn't remember.

    Becca said gingers are born without souls but don't tell her I said that.

  • ibwilliamsi

    OK, I came by the Casa WonkaDonk last night about 9 after a gig. I had to go through police barriers to get there, but the party was OVER. How old ARE you guys, anyway? It saddened me…

  • ttommyunger

    So many social engagements, so little time…..