National Empty Chair Day: A Measured Response To Mild Mockery Of Clint Eastwood

  saving america one piece of furniture at a time

NECD is a day for those of us with assesAs you might be aware, last week Clint Eastwood stood up on national TV and gave a rambling, incoherent speech in which he berated a chair he said had an invisible, profane black president in it. (SPOILER: IT WAS OBAMA ALL ALONG.)

For a while (like a day) “Eastwooding” was a thing. People took pictures of themselves faux-yelling at chairs, it was fun, we all realized that after a while there’s only so much you can do with the idea, and then we enjoyed our three-day weekend.

However, there was a problem. Someone was making fun of something conservative, and that cannot be allowed to stand. So conservative bloggers, who are just big, gaping pits of hilarity into which we throw things and a lava monster comes up and gives a great three-minute bit about how conservatives do it like this while liberals do it like that, decided to put on National Empty Chair Day.

Notable conservatives like Michelle Malkin and writers at Breitbart.com, as well blogger Prof. Glenn Reynolds, kicked off the trend, according to the conservative blog Legal Insurrection.

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The blog, which had asked readers to send in photos of empty chairs, updated its post midday to say that the response had been so overwhelming — and the backlog of photos so great — that they were forced to close submissions.

“It’s fun. It’s funny,” Malkin explained to POLITICO. “Clint Eastwood resonated with voters outside the snotty, derisive NY-DC-Hollywood axis. He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage. Activists on the right wanted to demonstrate … their appreciation. As always, humor is the best medicine.”

…Right. So, what horrors came of this amazingly brilliant idea?

From Legal Insurrection:

the one that started it all

This is the one that kicked it all off, and I’m sure you can see from the image why this kicked off a day of hilarity and wonder. I mean…it’s a chair. An empty chair. It is the very epitome of a day about…empty chairs. Nothing says “fuck libtards” like something that looks like an accidental iPhone photo.

Well, except THIS:

chairs on chairs on chairs

You might need an explanation of this…if you’re a stupid dummy. The empty chair has a picture of another empty chair on it that looks like an Obama sign. Get it? DO YOU GET IT, GODDAMMIT? Rot in hell, Shepard Fairey.

Breitbart’s disembodied head sits at the right hand of Necromancer Obama:

great breitbart's ghost

And finally, from Michelle Malkin:

best metaphor ever

What is going on in this picture, you might ask? It’s a complex, nuanced visual metaphor that rivals the best editorial cartoons; it is a Pulitzer crafted in a few minutes but ignored by the MSM. From the photographer/artist/new empty chair Jesus:

From reader DMK: “FLAG=U.S.A. is exceptional & America rules. DIRTY BLUE CAMPING CHAIR=liberal politicians & wives tax-funded vacations. CUP=32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house. DONKEY=Democrat…”

EVERYTHING IN THIS PICTURE=in Obama’s lap? And what about the shovel? We need an entire symposium just on the shovel.

[Politico]

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216 comments

    1. timbo71351

      No shit. Do those people have any friends? I couldn't imagine being around any of those asswipes in a social situation.

      1. Mumbletypeg

        And I'm picturing the neighbors watching through the window as, say, the last image? its engineer sets up the camp chair and the props *just so* — then gets spouse or kid to balance the shovel-handle out-of-lensview *just so* — and retake after retake as the shovel drops, the ceramic thing spills; the whole while their neighbors' going, "WTF has bitten their brains THIS time??"

    2. FakaktaSouth

      Only these people would take something that reminds us all of how stupid something that happened at their stupid, poorly run convention was and run with it. I HATE when people do not have the good sense to be embarrassed and shut the hell up. And plus, my snotty ass is so far from New York it makes me cry and this, "it's not us, it's you, you don't get how great that was" (it was not great) thing is WAY OVER DONE. SHUT UP YOU ARE STUPID.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        I think the idea is that if they do it over and over again it'll make it look like Clint's act was on purpose and not some bizarre improvisational train wreck. This reminds me of a Woody Allen story (in Without Feathers, I believe) where a guy was at a balcony seat at the opera and leaned over so far that he fell over the railing and landed in the tuba in the orchestra pit. After that he went to every performance and intentionally fell into the tuba so people wouldn't think he was just clumsy.

        1. FakaktaSouth

          So the whole GOP is a poor clumsy idiot in the cafeteria, acting like slipping WAS the joke. That sounds about right. I wish Michelle Malkin would fall into a tuba and disappear forever.

    3. DemmeFatale

      …and people who can't be bothered to use a proper chair, and just use what's lying around outside, or wrinkled up in the garage.

      (What's the shovel for?)

    1. TribecaMike

      “If you were to ask me if I'd ever had the bad luck to miss my daily cocktail, I'd have to say that I doubt it; where certain things are concerned, I plan ahead.” — Luis Bunuel

  1. sbj1964

    Clint is a typical Republican.Talking about an invisible,made up Obama that the lies of the GOP have conjured.

    1. sullivanst

      Yeah, it really was an on-point exposition of how the right has come to depend heavily on straw-man arguments.

  2. freakishlywrong

    The entire "Conservative movement" needs to go stand in the corner. What a childish cabal of bullying asswipes.

    1. Terry

      Yeah, I'd like to toss another foot or two of dirt on the grave, just to be sure. maybe a layer of heavy stones.

        1. sullivanst

          Now of course the real dilemma will be working out which order to do it in. Just make sure you have plenty of asparagus that day.

      1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Judging by his complete overconsumption of alcohol I think Brietbart was likely pickled…

  3. Peckerwood_Pete

    Wait…. I thought all actors were Hollywood liberals, and not supposed to talk politics? Hmmm…..

  4. Gorillionaire

    This whole thing surely ends with a fat guy in camo pointing a gun at an empty chair whilst holding a bloody fetus in the other hand.

  5. IncenseDebate

    My chair of protest has an erect dildo on it. I call it Clit Eastwoody. It's a big fuck you to Karl Rove and his fat treasonous ass.

  6. MacRaith

    Oh, I get it! The empty seats are symbolic of all the emptiness that fills the minds of the GOP! That's why it's funny that they aren't funny!

  7. Jus_Wonderin

    Maybe, in response, we could sponsor "Empty Suit Day". I don't own a suit but Goodwill is down the street.

          1. rhubarbpie2

            Now it's time for Wonkette to ramp this up. (There are Democratic empty suits too, of course, but none of them running for president. No comment on Biden.)

  8. Oblios_Cap

    32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house.

    Take that, Bloomberg, you GOP shit!

    The bastards are going all "empty chair" on us. It's a great idea. I hope it catches on down at the corner pub.

    I have the guess that were all sitting in their HoverRounds while they took the pictures?

      1. Misty Malarky

        Is there a law against just buying two 16oz sodas?

        HAHAHAHA – just came to me:

        One for each Mitt!

        HAHAHAHAHAHA!

        1. sullivanst

          Bloomberg actually pointed out that it would still be perfectly legal to buy two 16oz sodas, but it'd be up to the customer to make the choice to do so.

    1. DemmeFatale

      And while you're chuggin' that soda, don't forget to turn on all your lights, (especially the ones in the closets), and show those do-gooders who's boss. That'll teach 'em!!

  9. Baconzgood

    "Clint Eastwood resonated with voters outside the snotty, derisive NY-DC-Hollywood axis. He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage."

    Actually he muddered like my "soft in the head" grandfather at an empty stool.

  10. memzilla

    There can be only one Democratic response: Chia Mitt!

    Mittbott's Grecian Formula 16 hairstyle reminds me of how realistic Data's hair looked on ST:TNG. And for the same reason.

    1. Gleem McShineys

      Team Romney is going to be soooo pissed.

      They don't want people figuring out that cold damp terracotta is actually more warm and personable than the real Mitt.

  11. Your1%Uncle

    How dare you libtards mock future Senator Clint Eastwood! We'll show you. One day our empty chairs will rise up against Barack HUSSEIN Obama and that day is election day 2012. FIGHT VOTER FRAUD WITH VOTER FRAUD. ALL CHAIRS MUST VOTE!!!

  12. Baconzgood

    Actually if you paid attention at all to your own convention speeches you would have noticed it wasn't a chair but more of a stool.

  13. Terry

    I was at the movies in a very liberal town, in a very liberal county, in a predictably blue State. A promo came on the screen with Eastwood saying something nice about the theater and the sizable crowd laughed and heckled. It actually made me rather sad. An entertainment icon screwed up his reputation with one really poorly delivered political speech. Now, when you hear his name or see a photo, you think "Probably getting senile" rather than "Make my day".

    1. iTuna

      Yeah. His new baseball movie looks pretty solid, too, if not overly sappy and sentimental, and people are going to be focusing on his rambling RNC presence instead of on that.

      1. Terry

        Yes, and the same promo proves that:

        - Danny Glover is getting fairly senile
        - An actor, who's name I'm blanking on, only likes Clint Eastwood films
        - Juliette Lewis doesn't own a comb or brush

  14. Generation[redacted]

    First Labor Day, to celebrate hard working managers and titans of industry. Now National Chair Day. Woo hoo! Four day weekend! See you at the beach!

  15. Tequila Mockingbird

    I don't care what the haterz say. The chair gave a subtle, nuanced performance reminsicent of European art house cinema. It deserves an Oscar nomination.

    1. BenGleck

      I've been saying that the chair was "wonderfullly unstated and subtle" since that night. At least you're stealing from the best.

  16. freakishlywrong

    I say when we worthless, traitorous libs pass legislation that these retards enjoy and take advantage of; we start only allowing the good stuff for us. They no longer deserve it. Cut em' off.

  17. FakaktaSouth

    Empty chairs, whatever, as long as Breitbart's casket stays full of dead Breitbart and underground, laugh away dumbasses.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I honestly looked hard to make sure it wasn't someone who actually WAS funny for a second. If the sign had said "I wish I could still sit in a chair" then that would have been something. I actually thought it said BREITBART IS DEAD when I first saw it.

  18. CapnFatback

    From reader DMK: “FLAG=U.S.A. is exceptional & America rules. DIRTY BLUE CAMPING CHAIR=liberal politicians & wives tax-funded vacations. CUP=32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house. DONKEY=Democrat…”

    CRABGRASS=Too lazy to do my own yard work; too poor to hire a Mexican.

  19. MissTaken

    I would like to point out that thanks to Clint and his Eastwooding, I've had Les Miz's Empty Chairs at Empty Tables stuck on repeat in my brain for the past 4 days. For fuck's sake.

  20. Crank_Tango

    Ah, michelle malkin, she ran out of pingpong balls and instead of picking them up and shoving them back in her pussy, they gave her a blog.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Do we have to do this every time? Malkin may be subhuman, but her vagina has nothing to do with it.

  21. TribecaMike

    "He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage." Bravery doesn't mean what they think it means.

    Anyway, I will continue to go to see Clint's movies, since he's the last Hollywood director who knows how sappy melodrama should really be done.

    1. Baconzgood

      Like that time in High Planes Drifter where he whipped the dude to death and then threw the whip into the bar to taunt his crew to come out for a scrap? It made me weep.

      1. TribecaMike

        I was thinking more of the scene where he drags the woman into the barn and rapes her. And she loves it!

    2. kittensdontlie

      Clint is playing all of us for fools. His appearance at the GOP convention was merely a promotion for his upcoming movie, Trouble with the Curve, where he plays a nearly senile baseball coach whose Front Office is questioning his judgement…seem familiar…. ?!

  22. iburl

    "He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage."

    So would Michele Malkin if she showed up on stage at a Mensa convention, but that doesn't mean that proper response is not derision and ridicule.

    1. Weenus299

      Other people not mentioned in that whole damned GOP convention braved IED explosions and pseudofriendly fire from Afghans, but fuck them, you know.

  23. Crank_Tango

    I'm a little curious as to who would keep a pic of that dead, bloated shitsack around the house, but I don't run into many teatards.

  24. sbj1964

    Mitt Romeny,and other Mormons believe that when you die as a good Mormon you will become a God,and have your own planet to rule over with your many Mormon wives.Mitt has already put a brokered buyout plan on earth.Sorry Jesus your history.Bain Capital strikes again!

  25. qwerty42

    Funny stuff!!! And wry. Almost Noël Coward-ish!!! Well, maybe not. Hmmmmm. Side-splitting!!! That's what it is. OK, no it isn't. Stupid? Let's go with stupid. And not funny. I know conservatives who have a sense of humor. But they aren't "movement" conservatives, so what could they know.

  26. T3rbo

    What the hell is this supposed to be? "Hey, let's focus on the insanely bad speech that overshadowed Willard's acceptance speech some more!" What purpose does this serve? Only right wingers would choose to focus on this nonsense.
    I stand with Eastwood and his pathetically executed speech, for some reason! Obama is an empty chair! I don't understand how metaphors work!

  27. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Conservatives should be against people having chairs because all of the sitting makes it harder for them to fuck us in the ass.

  28. GhostBuggy

    “It’s fun. It’s funny,” Malkin explained to POLITICO.

    And, as we all know, the true indicator that something is funny is having to state to others that it is funny.

  29. OneYieldRegular

    Notable conservatives like Michelle Malkin and writers at Breitbart.com

    With headliners like that, I'm not surprised all the chairs are empty.

  30. Baconzgood

    It pains me to know that these people are working in the same medium as Henri Cartier-Bresson and Helmut Newton.

  31. sullivanst

    "NY-DC-Hollywood"

    It's almost as if the Democratic Party represents all of America, from coast to coast, and isn't a regional rump interested only in pandering to the lingering resentments of the South.

  32. RRoccoco

    Every day is Empty Suit Day in the Romney/Ryan campaign, and now for a limited time, it's a two-for-one sale! Yes, your millions of dollars of Super Pac donations will get you not one, but two, empty suits! Ties not included. Unlimited lies are, though.

  33. owhatever

    The empty chair was the most intelligent speaker at the Republican convention, and has not had to roll back or spin a word it said. It had learned the Obama tactic well: when your opponent is making a fool of himself, don't interrupt. McCain walking lost around the debate stage, Clint rambling. I can hardly wait for Romney to debate Yoda and spring off into how he will baptize the America when it is dead.

  34. Steverino247

    I suggest that we all leave stools in those chairs to symbolize how shitty this empty chair "gag" really is..

  35. MonkeyMotion

    Clint simply stole the idea from Mittens, who spoke to ~63,000 empty seats at Detroit's Ford stadium back in Feb. Gotta admit — THAT was hilarious.

  36. rickmaci

    Lacking originality, a sense of humor or event the slightest idea of what satire means, kkkonservatard bloggers are left with posting their usual angry, petulant, hateful and derivative ranting.

  37. fartknocker

    So how do these chairs help Build America? Were the chairs made in America? What a bunch of childish goat fucks.

  38. mustangsavvy

    That poor blue dirty camping chair has endured a lot of ass. As in, obese ass…..what with all the 32oz soda chugging going on in that household.

    Way to go Conservatives =) Keep the embarrassing endorsement from a crazy-looking old white guy alive and well in the Nation's memory!

  39. Wadisay

    More proof, if anyone needed it, that The Base of the Republican Party can be described as "energized" about pretty near fookin anything. Coming soon: Michelle Obama burns toast in the WH kitchen–how dare she?!!???11?!.

  40. SaintRond

    Being a great artist and an asshole are not mutually exclusive and we're all susceptible to senility.

    Just sayin'.

  41. T3rbo

    I keep going back to the blue chair, what the fuck? The chair represents america, because of the flag, and the clay donkey represents democrats, and America is holding a giant soda while democrats don't hold any flowers on/in their backs and a shovel looks on? What the fuck?
    What does this has to do with obama?
    From a poorly educated hillbilly:
    Obama should be sitting in the blue chair, on top of the american flag, with the donkey in his lap, while drinking mountain dew, using a shovel, because America. BUT HE'S NOT!

  42. MissTaken

    Those chair legs need to be covered up before they start thinking they can make decisions for themselves.

  43. Bezoar

    It all just goes to reconfirm that liberalism = political philosophy, conservatism = personality disorder.

  44. Guppy

    Aside from the fact that the soda size thing was a Republican's idea, too many 32 fl oz sodas means that the folding chair with the 100 kg 220 lb capacity can't support you.

  45. Tundra Grifter

    It wasn't that long ago when The Rapture was supposed to take place and that poor old guy in Northern California predicted the day the world would end and the Internets was full of not-so-funny cat videos but also photos of empty suits on the ground.

    I think the GNoP should cut their losses and drop this meme because it's not going to end well for any of them. (r)Money doesn't need a great many things – empty suit jokes being right there at the top of the roster.

  46. Toomush_Infer

    I believe this is their Waiting For Godot moment – because they're sure not happy with Mitt….

  47. Bezoar

    Ooh, I get it; have Michael Moore onstage at the Democratic convention addressing an empty suit as if it were Mittens?

  48. GeorgiaBurning

    Losing an argument with an empty chair is something to brag about? These folks must be Cubs fans

  49. Tundra Grifter

    Michelle Manikin tells us that “Clint Eastwood resonated with voters outside the snotty, derisive NY-DC-Hollywood axis."

    Of course, she also told us sending loyal Japanese-American citizens to relocation camps during WW II was a great idea.

  50. ffredpalakon

    From reader DMK: “FLAG=U.S.A. is exceptional & America rules. DIRTY BLUE CAMPING CHAIR=liberal politicians & wives tax-funded vacations. CUP=32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house. DONKEY=Democrat…”

    Oh, DMK, I feel an almost erotic longing to be your thesis advisor.

  51. succalina

    If the cup represents the freedom of loving and enjoying 32oz sodas, does the shovel represent digging your fat ass out of the chair?

  52. finallyhappy

    I'm not taking photos but I am surrounded by empty chairs- I am in one and the rest are empty(my living room). It was also pretty much like that at 5:30 in the restaurant last night- and no, it was not an early bird special!

  53. Antispandex

    It's as I suspected. There is NOTHING that conservatives can't make less funny, or less interesting. It may be possible, as my Dad always told me, that they really could fuck up a wet dream.

  54. zippy_w_pinhead

    I am now more convinced than ever that the entire Republican party has been infected with brain eating amoebas…

  55. Grokenstein

    Honestly surprised there wasn't a (selected) entry featuring an empty chair dangling from a noose or standing in front of a firing squad of Don't Re-Nig 2012 signs.

    I wonder what we could accomplish with National Empty Suit Day.

  56. zippy_w_pinhead

    classic GOP move- take a really bad idea, when it blows up in your face stubbornly dig in your heels and double down on that bad idea making it a REALLY bad idea, then declare victory and pat yourself on the back for a job well done…

  57. DocChaos

    Conservatives believe that when life gives you poop, make poop-aid, and then drink it!

    Michelle Malkin is like the Queen Bee of the unpopular crowd.

  58. GhostBuggy

    Although, not to defend Shelly or anything, people are probably pretty used to having to explain things to Politico.

  59. lochnessmonster

    Ummm…aren't most of those chairs made in China? Not the thing a Good American would want to show off I think!

  60. fishwharf

    Eastwood's subtle chiding of the Republican faithful went way over their heads, and sadly seems to have gone over the heads of many of the readers here.

    I'd vote for Clint in a heartbeat regardless of what party he's affiliated with.

  61. Gleem McShineys

    "He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage."

    Um, well, no. The order, Malkin, is the other way around.

    "He received derision and ridicule for doing something strange (sure, we'll call it standing) on the convention stage."

    FTFY,C

  62. glamourdammerung

    I do not see in this the deep appreciation or murder, racism, rape, and torture that one usually finds in conservative/Republican/whatever they are calling themselves this week's "humor".

  63. punkneverdies

    it's really quite amazing to me that people not only read michelle malkin but think she's funny and makes salient points

    "32 oz sodas still enjoyed in our home" well are you going to blame democrats when you're kids are bloated diabetics at age 32, assuming they live that long?

  64. jtgillick

    Don't you doofs remember "100 BOOTS"?

    ??? Eleanor Antin's conceptual project ???

    sigh. let me explain …

    there is going to be a ONE MILLION CHAIRS MARCH !!!

    It will begin with ONE Empty Chair, lonely on the syringe-poxed county beach at Pomadoro Point, CA. All undecided-leaning-Right registered voters will all receive a high-quality picture postcard of this.

    then a few days later they will receive a picture-postcard of TWO Empty Chairs together in the eastern foothills of the Cascades.

    Then … a few days after that, they will receive a postcard of FOUR Empty Chairs in Yosemite

    Then eight, sixteen thirty- two, doubling each iteration, heading always, always … Eastward actress this Great Country Of Ours
    … till. … finally …
    America beholds, covering the steps of the capitol – the day before election day! – ONE MILLION EMPTY CHAIRS!

    Eat your hearts out, Bonus Marchers – this isn't just politics … it’s ART!

  65. ttommyunger

    I spent a lot of my youth in the P. I. I admire and respect Filipinos; they are handsome, hard-working and responsible people. My daughter-in-Law is full blooded and awesome in every way. I don't know what Malkin's daddy did to her to make her so bent, but I'm guessing it's a Felony in every state.

  66. Troglodeity

    Of course these idiots don't put on the sign WHEN this "national day" is, was, or will be. Just like the rest of the organizational clusterf*ck that the RNC turned out to be.

  67. Porter Melmoth

    Yes, Clint Eastwood’s little Drama 201-level Improv Theatre of the Absurd workshop appeared to flop, all right. Mainly because the audience couldn’t figure out that it was a comedy sketch, not a rhetorical speech. But at least Eastwood is an admitted actor, unlike all the pinwheels fluttering about him.

    Clint’s performance revealed that he is more of an L. Ron Paulista than a waif in need of Mitten cuddling (e.g. Mitt would actually bring the troops home (???) and other prevarications…). It was viewed by most, and some who should have known better, as an Alzheimerian ramble, a sign of heroic Harry’s dribbling twilight to come. But since few in America except the Gays take a Drama course anymore, such attempts at art are considered ‘over the top’, ‘WTF’ or some other bland write-off analysis.

    Verdict on Clint’s ‘Interview With B.H. Obama, In The Ionesco Style’: half-baked, silly content, weakly delivered. Don Rickles would’ve pulled it off with more flair. But at least two people in the audience got a kick out of it: Clint’s 146 year-old mom – and me.

    (Excerpted from The New York Times Drama section's review of my two-volume treatise: 'The Absurdist Performances of Clint Eastwood: Berlin 1926 to Tampa 2012' (HarperCollins) )

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