National Empty Chair Day: A Measured Response To Mild Mockery Of Clint Eastwood

by Jesse Taylor

NECD is a day for those of us with assesAs you might be aware, last week Clint Eastwood stood up on national TV and gave a rambling, incoherent speech in which he berated a chair he said had an invisible, profane black president in it. (SPOILER: IT WAS OBAMA ALL ALONG.)

For a while (like a day) “Eastwooding” was a thing. People took pictures of themselves faux-yelling at chairs, it was fun, we all realized that after a while there’s only so much you can do with the idea, and then we enjoyed our three-day weekend.

However, there was a problem. Someone was making fun of something conservative, and that cannot be allowed to stand. So conservative bloggers, who are just big, gaping pits of hilarity into which we throw things and a lava monster comes up and gives a great three-minute bit about how conservatives do it like this while liberals do it like that, decided to put on National Empty Chair Day.

Notable conservatives like Michelle Malkin and writers at Breitbart.com, as well blogger Prof. Glenn Reynolds, kicked off the trend, according to the conservative blog Legal Insurrection.

The blog, which had asked readers to send in photos of empty chairs, updated its post midday to say that the response had been so overwhelming — and the backlog of photos so great — that they were forced to close submissions.

“It’s fun. It’s funny,” Malkin explained to POLITICO. “Clint Eastwood resonated with voters outside the snotty, derisive NY-DC-Hollywood axis. He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage. Activists on the right wanted to demonstrate … their appreciation. As always, humor is the best medicine.”

…Right. So, what horrors came of this amazingly brilliant idea?

From Legal Insurrection:

the one that started it all

This is the one that kicked it all off, and I’m sure you can see from the image why this kicked off a day of hilarity and wonder. I mean…it’s a chair. An empty chair. It is the very epitome of a day about…empty chairs. Nothing says “fuck libtards” like something that looks like an accidental iPhone photo.

Well, except THIS:

chairs on chairs on chairs

You might need an explanation of this…if you’re a stupid dummy. The empty chair has a picture of another empty chair on it that looks like an Obama sign. Get it? DO YOU GET IT, GODDAMMIT? Rot in hell, Shepard Fairey.

Breitbart’s disembodied head sits at the right hand of Necromancer Obama:

great breitbart's ghost

And finally, from Michelle Malkin:

best metaphor ever

What is going on in this picture, you might ask? It’s a complex, nuanced visual metaphor that rivals the best editorial cartoons; it is a Pulitzer crafted in a few minutes but ignored by the MSM. From the photographer/artist/new empty chair Jesus:

From reader DMK: “FLAG=U.S.A. is exceptional & America rules. DIRTY BLUE CAMPING CHAIR=liberal politicians & wives tax-funded vacations. CUP=32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house. DONKEY=Democrat…”

EVERYTHING IN THIS PICTURE=in Obama’s lap? And what about the shovel? We need an entire symposium just on the shovel.

[Politico]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 216 comments }

Mumbletypeg September 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm

People with no sense of humor suck.

timbo71351 September 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

No shit. Do those people have any friends? I couldn't imagine being around any of those asswipes in a social situation.

Mumbletypeg September 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

And I'm picturing the neighbors watching through the window as, say, the last image? its engineer sets up the camp chair and the props *just so* — then gets spouse or kid to balance the shovel-handle out-of-lensview *just so* — and retake after retake as the shovel drops, the ceramic thing spills; the whole while their neighbors' going, "WTF has bitten their brains THIS time??"

SayItWithWookies September 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Not to mention the self-defeating act of putting something in a chair that's supposed to be empty. Now we know who all those overly-labeled political cartoons are aimed at.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Also, Jon McNaughton paintings.

FakaktaSouth September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Only these people would take something that reminds us all of how stupid something that happened at their stupid, poorly run convention was and run with it. I HATE when people do not have the good sense to be embarrassed and shut the hell up. And plus, my snotty ass is so far from New York it makes me cry and this, "it's not us, it's you, you don't get how great that was" (it was not great) thing is WAY OVER DONE. SHUT UP YOU ARE STUPID.

SayItWithWookies September 4, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I think the idea is that if they do it over and over again it'll make it look like Clint's act was on purpose and not some bizarre improvisational train wreck. This reminds me of a Woody Allen story (in Without Feathers, I believe) where a guy was at a balcony seat at the opera and leaned over so far that he fell over the railing and landed in the tuba in the orchestra pit. After that he went to every performance and intentionally fell into the tuba so people wouldn't think he was just clumsy.

FakaktaSouth September 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

So the whole GOP is a poor clumsy idiot in the cafeteria, acting like slipping WAS the joke. That sounds about right. I wish Michelle Malkin would fall into a tuba and disappear forever.

Mojopo September 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Thank you, Republicans and Conservatives, for preserving Liberal jerbs in comedy.

Isyaignert September 4, 2012 at 4:25 pm

And they certainly have no business being on this site.

DemmeFatale September 4, 2012 at 4:28 pm

…and people who can't be bothered to use a proper chair, and just use what's lying around outside, or wrinkled up in the garage.

(What's the shovel for?)

BoatOfVelociraptors September 4, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Chia Fanta 2012!

PuglyDoRight September 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Needs moar patriot trays.

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

That last one, it's like a Luis Buñuel film.

emmelemm September 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Needs moar eyeballs.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Except that Bunuel would rise from the grave just to die again if he thought and of these idiots had been influenced by him.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

“If you were to ask me if I'd ever had the bad luck to miss my daily cocktail, I'd have to say that I doubt it; where certain things are concerned, I plan ahead.” — Luis Bunuel

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Sit on it, Clint.

NorthStarSpanx September 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm

They sure like to double down on the stupid.

In case we didn't get it the first time.

viennawoods13 September 4, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Ayyyyy! (Thumbs up)

sbj1964 September 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Clint is a typical Republican.Talking about an invisible,made up Obama that the lies of the GOP have conjured.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Yeah, it really was an on-point exposition of how the right has come to depend heavily on straw-man arguments.

fuflans September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

stewart's riff on this was gorgeous.

he is so good when he gets mad.

freakishlywrong September 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

The entire "Conservative movement" needs to go stand in the corner. What a childish cabal of bullying asswipes.

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I'm just happy that Breitbart is still dead.

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Every time I'm reminded of that, it perks me up a little.

Terry September 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Yeah, I'd like to toss another foot or two of dirt on the grave, just to be sure. maybe a layer of heavy stones.

weejee September 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

That might help since a problem with going the oak stake route is finding the heart.

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

If I'm ever in LA remind me to find his grave to piss on; Reagan's and Nixon's too.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Now of course the real dilemma will be working out which order to do it in. Just make sure you have plenty of asparagus that day.

UW8316154 September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Maybe that's what the shovel is for?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

The question is, was Breitbart ever really alive?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 September 4, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Judging by his complete overconsumption of alcohol I think Brietbart was likely pickled…

OkieDokieDog September 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Isn't Michelle Malkin an anchor babby?

Peckerwood_Pete September 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Wait…. I thought all actors were Hollywood liberals, and not supposed to talk politics? Hmmm…..

Gorillionaire September 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

This whole thing surely ends with a fat guy in camo pointing a gun at an empty chair whilst holding a bloody fetus in the other hand.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

In other words, Ted Nugent.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Why does it always have to end that way?!

Guppy September 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

The fetus has to be in a mason jar.

IncenseDebate September 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

My chair of protest has an erect dildo on it. I call it Clit Eastwoody. It's a big fuck you to Karl Rove and his fat treasonous ass.

Not_So_Much September 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Like anyone on the Right believes that ridiculous myth about a clit being a real 'thing'.

Isyaignert September 4, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Every time I see Herr Rove, I get so pissed off that he was never jailed beneath the Capitol building for ignoring a Congressional subpoena for his key role in the railroading of Alabama Gov. Don Seigelman. He spent years in prison for doing NOTHING and some Reicht-winged judge sentenced him to another 78 months – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mimi-kennedy/don-si… and http://www.donsiegelman.org.

Caelan Aegana September 5, 2012 at 6:09 pm

It's not that hilariously terrifying prop from Burn after Reading, is it?

BaldarTFlagass September 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

K-Lo would have needed two chairs.

weejee September 4, 2012 at 1:14 pm

With legs made from oak 4×4s

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Three, as she would need one for the Ghost of John Paul II, who guides her every move.

MacRaith September 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Oh, I get it! The empty seats are symbolic of all the emptiness that fills the minds of the GOP! That's why it's funny that they aren't funny!

Jus_Wonderin September 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Maybe, in response, we could sponsor "Empty Suit Day". I don't own a suit but Goodwill is down the street.

rhubarbpie2 September 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

You beat me to it. Of course, every day is "Empty Suit Day" when it comes to the GOP nominee.

Jus_Wonderin September 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

romneyemptysuit.com is available. Should I get it???????????

rhubarbpie2 September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Absolutely!

Jus_Wonderin September 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

"I've got this thing. And it's FN golden!"

Oblios_Cap September 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house.

Take that, Bloomberg, you GOP shit!

The bastards are going all "empty chair" on us. It's a great idea. I hope it catches on down at the corner pub.

I have the guess that were all sitting in their HoverRounds while they took the pictures?

sewollef September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Maybe if we pushed them out of their HoverRounds, then they'd be empty too.

Hilarity all round.

Misty Malarky September 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Is there a law against just buying two 16oz sodas?

HAHAHAHA – just came to me:

One for each Mitt!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Bloomberg actually pointed out that it would still be perfectly legal to buy two 16oz sodas, but it'd be up to the customer to make the choice to do so.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Well, they sure as fuck wouldn't fit in the chairs.

DemmeFatale September 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm

And while you're chuggin' that soda, don't forget to turn on all your lights, (especially the ones in the closets), and show those do-gooders who's boss. That'll teach 'em!!

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:07 pm

"Clint Eastwood resonated with voters outside the snotty, derisive NY-DC-Hollywood axis. He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage."

Actually he muddered like my "soft in the head" grandfather at an empty stool.

Geminisunmars September 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Well, your grandfather is brave too. Also.

Barbara_ September 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I didn't get to see Greta Van Susteren's entry, a bicycle without a seat.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I thought it was the seat behind Todd on the snow mobile.

Lascauxcaveman September 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Michelle Malkin has the exact same shovel as me. Now I feel all dirty.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

is there poo-poo on the end of your handle too?

fuflans September 4, 2012 at 2:15 pm

same as us!!!

we just used ours to bury the dead opossum we found in the garage.

Gratuitous World September 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Breaking: Todd Akin/Paul Ryan planning National Empty High Chair Day

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

One in every legitimate rape victim's house?

memzilla September 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

There can be only one Democratic response: Chia Mitt!

Mittbott's Grecian Formula 16 hairstyle reminds me of how realistic Data's hair looked on ST:TNG. And for the same reason.

dennis1943 September 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Maybe,but at least was personable……

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Team Romney is going to be soooo pissed.

They don't want people figuring out that cold damp terracotta is actually more warm and personable than the real Mitt.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I thought the spoiler was that it turns out that Clint Eastwood had been dead the whole time.

Your1%Uncle September 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

How dare you libtards mock future Senator Clint Eastwood! We'll show you. One day our empty chairs will rise up against Barack HUSSEIN Obama and that day is election day 2012. FIGHT VOTER FRAUD WITH VOTER FRAUD. ALL CHAIRS MUST VOTE!!!

NorthStarSpanx September 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Sarah Palin put up a photo of her chair from the Governor's office.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan

not that Dewey September 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Isn't her chair, like, literally empty?

DemmeFatale September 4, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Ha, ha, ha!

Stupid cow!!

actor212 September 4, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Empty chairs from empty assholes.

Geminisunmars September 4, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I'm sure their assholes are pretty full.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Actually if you paid attention at all to your own convention speeches you would have noticed it wasn't a chair but more of a stool.

Generation[redacted] September 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Empty stools for empty tools. I can see why this is catching on.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I suspect that it's a Plymold 709406SSWB (with wood back and seat, hence the SSWB nomenclature) in the dark mahogany finish.
http://www.hotelrestaurantsupply.com/img/std/p/pl

CapnFatback September 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Which is funny, cuz it was the first stool Eastwood produced all week.

HEY-O!

Terry September 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I was at the movies in a very liberal town, in a very liberal county, in a predictably blue State. A promo came on the screen with Eastwood saying something nice about the theater and the sizable crowd laughed and heckled. It actually made me rather sad. An entertainment icon screwed up his reputation with one really poorly delivered political speech. Now, when you hear his name or see a photo, you think "Probably getting senile" rather than "Make my day".

iTuna September 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Yeah. His new baseball movie looks pretty solid, too, if not overly sappy and sentimental, and people are going to be focusing on his rambling RNC presence instead of on that.

finallyhappy September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

AFI Silver Spring, right?

Terry September 4, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Yes, and the same promo proves that:

- Danny Glover is getting fairly senile
- An actor, who's name I'm blanking on, only likes Clint Eastwood films
- Juliette Lewis doesn't own a comb or brush

Generation[redacted] September 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

First Labor Day, to celebrate hard working managers and titans of industry. Now National Chair Day. Woo hoo! Four day weekend! See you at the beach!

LibertyLover September 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Don't forget your chairs!

Tequila Mockingbird September 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I don't care what the haterz say. The chair gave a subtle, nuanced performance reminsicent of European art house cinema. It deserves an Oscar nomination.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 1:14 pm

4 reals! Did you know that chair was actually born a stool?

weejee September 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

no shit?

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

That chair had to put on forty pounds for that role!

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

They originally wanted Russell Crowe to play the chair, but needed a bigger asshole.

Geminisunmars September 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I think the lighting and make-up crew deserve some of the credit.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Let's not forget the sound editor. It's very hard to mic an inanimate object.

GeorgiaBurning September 4, 2012 at 1:59 pm

If it was a British chair it would get one

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I thought the chair was played by Meryl Streep. It is amazing how she throws herself into any roll.

BenGleck September 4, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I've been saying that the chair was "wonderfullly unstated and subtle" since that night. At least you're stealing from the best.

freakishlywrong September 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I say when we worthless, traitorous libs pass legislation that these retards enjoy and take advantage of; we start only allowing the good stuff for us. They no longer deserve it. Cut em' off.

Hammiepants September 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Hewmore, ur doin it rong, fucktards.

FakaktaSouth September 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Empty chairs, whatever, as long as Breitbart's casket stays full of dead Breitbart and underground, laugh away dumbasses.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Didn't the "Breitbart is Here" sign look rather like a makeshift headstone? That amused me.

FakaktaSouth September 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I honestly looked hard to make sure it wasn't someone who actually WAS funny for a second. If the sign had said "I wish I could still sit in a chair" then that would have been something. I actually thought it said BREITBART IS DEAD when I first saw it.

CapnFatback September 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

From reader DMK: “FLAG=U.S.A. is exceptional & America rules. DIRTY BLUE CAMPING CHAIR=liberal politicians & wives tax-funded vacations. CUP=32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house. DONKEY=Democrat…”

CRABGRASS=Too lazy to do my own yard work; too poor to hire a Mexican.

not that Dewey September 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm

"The metaphor leaves off where I say it does."

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Malkin hires Mexican gardeners, but then citizen arrest them when they show up and hands them over to Homeland Security. It is what Ronald Reagan would have wanted.

Devilette September 4, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I'm sure she lets the Mexicans do their work first before turning them over to ICE.

DemmeFatale September 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I thought they were all at Epcot, anyway.

deanbooth September 4, 2012 at 6:42 pm

And most subtle of all, that's not a shovel, it's a spade.

Added: I would not doubt it is intentional.

ManchuCandidate September 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

And I'm shocked that the Faux Newz version of the Daily Show was cancelled.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Hurricane Isaac came and went. In Southern California, we had some chair storm damage too. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ionatrailer/79309857

SayItWithWookies September 4, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Breitbart's portrait looks like it could stand an Ecce Homo-style restoration. As long as the new work doesn't cover up his crown of thorns, that is.

IncenseDebate September 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Yeah, well he probably already got the eggy homo treatment from Drudge.

proudgrampa September 4, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Oh, for fuck's sake.

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I would like to point out that thanks to Clint and his Eastwooding, I've had Les Miz's Empty Chairs at Empty Tables stuck on repeat in my brain for the past 4 days. For fuck's sake.

SorosBot September 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I didn't, but have it stuck in my head now – thanks hon!

DerrickWildcat September 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

It's like a mobius strip of irony.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Ah, michelle malkin, she ran out of pingpong balls and instead of picking them up and shoving them back in her pussy, they gave her a blog.

Steverino247 September 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Using only her labia, of course. Girl's got talent!

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Do we have to do this every time? Malkin may be subhuman, but her vagina has nothing to do with it.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 1:16 pm

"He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage." Bravery doesn't mean what they think it means.

Anyway, I will continue to go to see Clint's movies, since he's the last Hollywood director who knows how sappy melodrama should really be done.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Like that time in High Planes Drifter where he whipped the dude to death and then threw the whip into the bar to taunt his crew to come out for a scrap? It made me weep.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I was thinking more of the scene where he drags the woman into the barn and rapes her. And she loves it!

kittensdontlie September 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Clint is playing all of us for fools. His appearance at the GOP convention was merely a promotion for his upcoming movie, Trouble with the Curve, where he plays a nearly senile baseball coach whose Front Office is questioning his judgement…seem familiar…. ?!

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Gus "Buddy" Bell libel! Oh, I thought wrote nearly senile baseball manager.

iburl September 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

"He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage."

So would Michele Malkin if she showed up on stage at a Mensa convention, but that doesn't mean that proper response is not derision and ridicule.

Weenus299 September 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Other people not mentioned in that whole damned GOP convention braved IED explosions and pseudofriendly fire from Afghans, but fuck them, you know.

Geminisunmars September 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm

But that was Obama's war, you know.

iburl September 4, 2012 at 2:02 pm

If Mitt hasn't offshored money there, it doesn't exist.

bitchincamaro2 September 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Get yer goll dern chairs off my lawn!

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I'm a little curious as to who would keep a pic of that dead, bloated shitsack around the house, but I don't run into many teatards.

Edith_Prickly September 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

When a liberal sits in the chair next to the picture, a bloody disembodied hand comes up out of the ground (like the in the ending of Carrie), and drags him or her through to Planet 10: <a> http://billwardwriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2010

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Not if said liberal has some blow on him/her, then everyone is buddy-buddy.

AddHomonym September 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

SHOVEL READY! That's comedy!

sbj1964 September 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Mitt Romeny,and other Mormons believe that when you die as a good Mormon you will become a God,and have your own planet to rule over with your many Mormon wives.Mitt has already put a brokered buyout plan on earth.Sorry Jesus your history.Bain Capital strikes again!

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

They retire the black chairs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Steele

Joshua Norton September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Looks like a normal crap-fest page spread for a Walmart Labor Day sale.

qwerty42 September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Funny stuff!!! And wry. Almost Noël Coward-ish!!! Well, maybe not. Hmmmmm. Side-splitting!!! That's what it is. OK, no it isn't. Stupid? Let's go with stupid. And not funny. I know conservatives who have a sense of humor. But they aren't "movement" conservatives, so what could they know.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Maybe if they had a "movement" (knowwhaddI'mtawkin'about?) they wouldn't be so conservative.

anniegetyerfun September 4, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Needz moar burning crosses.

T3rbo September 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

What the hell is this supposed to be? "Hey, let's focus on the insanely bad speech that overshadowed Willard's acceptance speech some more!" What purpose does this serve? Only right wingers would choose to focus on this nonsense.
I stand with Eastwood and his pathetically executed speech, for some reason! Obama is an empty chair! I don't understand how metaphors work!

Weenus299 September 4, 2012 at 1:21 pm

The next round will be Occupied Chairs, with real people and imaginary butts.

IonaTrailer September 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

The Occupy Chair Movement? (I thought that was like working or something)

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Conservatives should be against people having chairs because all of the sitting makes it harder for them to fuck us in the ass.

GhostBuggy September 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

“It’s fun. It’s funny,” Malkin explained to POLITICO.

And, as we all know, the true indicator that something is funny is having to state to others that it is funny.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

That's the old "OH stop whining you're not hurt" of Jr. High gym coaches.

mrblifil September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Repeatedly.

grandinquisitor September 4, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I can't imagine why these fuckwads are behind in the polls.

Fox n Fiends September 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

don't they know that lawns are socialist?

OneYieldRegular September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Notable conservatives like Michelle Malkin and writers at Breitbart.com

With headliners like that, I'm not surprised all the chairs are empty.

CrunchyKnee September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The diabeetus is strong in these folks. 32oz sodas indeed.

Baconzgood September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

It pains me to know that these people are working in the same medium as Henri Cartier-Bresson and Helmut Newton.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"NY-DC-Hollywood"

It's almost as if the Democratic Party represents all of America, from coast to coast, and isn't a regional rump interested only in pandering to the lingering resentments of the South.

RRoccoco September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Every day is Empty Suit Day in the Romney/Ryan campaign, and now for a limited time, it's a two-for-one sale! Yes, your millions of dollars of Super Pac donations will get you not one, but two, empty suits! Ties not included. Unlimited lies are, though.

owhatever September 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The empty chair was the most intelligent speaker at the Republican convention, and has not had to roll back or spin a word it said. It had learned the Obama tactic well: when your opponent is making a fool of himself, don't interrupt. McCain walking lost around the debate stage, Clint rambling. I can hardly wait for Romney to debate Yoda and spring off into how he will baptize the America when it is dead.

Steverino247 September 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I suggest that we all leave stools in those chairs to symbolize how shitty this empty chair "gag" really is..

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

It is the noted humor of the Conservative movement that keeps America a shiny city on a hill in our hard times.

Oblios_Cap September 4, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Sort of the iconic "shiny object" of our times.

MonkeyMotion September 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Clint simply stole the idea from Mittens, who spoke to ~63,000 empty seats at Detroit's Ford stadium back in Feb. Gotta admit — THAT was hilarious.

rickmaci September 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Lacking originality, a sense of humor or event the slightest idea of what satire means, kkkonservatard bloggers are left with posting their usual angry, petulant, hateful and derivative ranting.

Estproph September 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Can there possibly be a better metaphor for conservatives than an empty chair?

fartknocker September 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

So how do these chairs help Build America? Were the chairs made in America? What a bunch of childish goat fucks.

mustangsavvy September 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm

That poor blue dirty camping chair has endured a lot of ass. As in, obese ass…..what with all the 32oz soda chugging going on in that household.

Way to go Conservatives =) Keep the embarrassing endorsement from a crazy-looking old white guy alive and well in the Nation's memory!

Wadisay September 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm

More proof, if anyone needed it, that The Base of the Republican Party can be described as "energized" about pretty near fookin anything. Coming soon: Michelle Obama burns toast in the WH kitchen–how dare she?!!???11?!.

MinAgain September 4, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Considering the nature of the Republican base, I'm surprised more of them weren't rocking chairs.

Crank_Tango September 4, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Or those potty chairs…

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Or Hoverounds.

SaintRond September 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Being a great artist and an asshole are not mutually exclusive and we're all susceptible to senility.

Just sayin'.

T3rbo September 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I keep going back to the blue chair, what the fuck? The chair represents america, because of the flag, and the clay donkey represents democrats, and America is holding a giant soda while democrats don't hold any flowers on/in their backs and a shovel looks on? What the fuck?
What does this has to do with obama?
From a poorly educated hillbilly:
Obama should be sitting in the blue chair, on top of the american flag, with the donkey in his lap, while drinking mountain dew, using a shovel, because America. BUT HE'S NOT!

MissTaken September 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Those chair legs need to be covered up before they start thinking they can make decisions for themselves.

DonnyKerabotsos September 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Hmm, I'm surprised. I was sure that some patriot would hang a chair from a tree.

cheetojeebus September 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

That is what is known as a Palin Rebus.

Bezoar September 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

It all just goes to reconfirm that liberalism = political philosophy, conservatism = personality disorder.

Guppy September 4, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Aside from the fact that the soda size thing was a Republican's idea, too many 32 fl oz sodas means that the folding chair with the 100 kg 220 lb capacity can't support you.

rocktonsam September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

all those shitty chairs made in what country now?

Tundra Grifter September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

It wasn't that long ago when The Rapture was supposed to take place and that poor old guy in Northern California predicted the day the world would end and the Internets was full of not-so-funny cat videos but also photos of empty suits on the ground.

I think the GNoP should cut their losses and drop this meme because it's not going to end well for any of them. (r)Money doesn't need a great many things – empty suit jokes being right there at the top of the roster.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Your Adirondack chair won't get you into heaven anymore.

Oblios_Cap September 4, 2012 at 3:06 pm

It's already overcrowded from your dirty little wars.

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 5:07 pm

And Charles Hassock don't like killin'
No matter what the reason for

Toomush_Infer September 4, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I believe this is their Waiting For Godot moment – because they're sure not happy with Mitt….

Bezoar September 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Ooh, I get it; have Michael Moore onstage at the Democratic convention addressing an empty suit as if it were Mittens?

GeorgiaBurning September 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Losing an argument with an empty chair is something to brag about? These folks must be Cubs fans

Steverino247 September 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I've got a better idea. Let's put sofas outside and sing about them in German.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYgf0HL_5mQ

Tundra Grifter September 4, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Michelle Manikin tells us that “Clint Eastwood resonated with voters outside the snotty, derisive NY-DC-Hollywood axis."

Of course, she also told us sending loyal Japanese-American citizens to relocation camps during WW II was a great idea.

mavenmaven September 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I would have posted a picture of an empty double sized hoveround.

ffredpalakon September 4, 2012 at 1:56 pm

From reader DMK: “FLAG=U.S.A. is exceptional & America rules. DIRTY BLUE CAMPING CHAIR=liberal politicians & wives tax-funded vacations. CUP=32oz sodas still enjoyed & loved at our house. DONKEY=Democrat…”

Oh, DMK, I feel an almost erotic longing to be your thesis advisor.

not that Dewey September 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm

"You didn't sit in that"

TribecaMike September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Until last week, I never would've thought of decking a deck chair.

succalina September 4, 2012 at 2:15 pm

If the cup represents the freedom of loving and enjoying 32oz sodas, does the shovel represent digging your fat ass out of the chair?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Trust me, K-Lo doesn't recognize Vatican II, or anything else that contradicts the church's perfect form as established during the Inquisition.

sullivanst September 4, 2012 at 2:21 pm

That was kind of my point, since JP2 occasionally appeared to believe in V2.

mrblifil September 4, 2012 at 2:17 pm

They're just discovering Beckett now?

finallyhappy September 4, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I'm not taking photos but I am surrounded by empty chairs- I am in one and the rest are empty(my living room). It was also pretty much like that at 5:30 in the restaurant last night- and no, it was not an early bird special!

Antispandex September 4, 2012 at 2:19 pm

It's as I suspected. There is NOTHING that conservatives can't make less funny, or less interesting. It may be possible, as my Dad always told me, that they really could fuck up a wet dream.

fuflans September 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

i don't get this.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 4, 2012 at 2:23 pm

The question is: Will Mitt cut the Chairs taxes?

Nowisallthereis September 4, 2012 at 2:25 pm

She uses the donkey for a chamber pot. THen drinks it in the morning.

BenGleck September 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Needz moar chairs!

zippy_w_pinhead September 4, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I am now more convinced than ever that the entire Republican party has been infected with brain eating amoebas…

Baba_NinjaCat12 September 4, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Two Chairs for NJ Governor Chris Crisco speech.

Misty Malarky September 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Clint's been on this path for years:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn8YubD01sk

Grokenstein September 4, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Honestly surprised there wasn't a (selected) entry featuring an empty chair dangling from a noose or standing in front of a firing squad of Don't Re-Nig 2012 signs.

I wonder what we could accomplish with National Empty Suit Day.

zippy_w_pinhead September 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm

classic GOP move- take a really bad idea, when it blows up in your face stubbornly dig in your heels and double down on that bad idea making it a REALLY bad idea, then declare victory and pat yourself on the back for a job well done…

DahBoner September 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Shovel=GOP is dead. Take it out back and bury it, starting to smell…

DocChaos September 4, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Conservatives believe that when life gives you poop, make poop-aid, and then drink it!

Michelle Malkin is like the Queen Bee of the unpopular crowd.

GhostBuggy September 4, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Although, not to defend Shelly or anything, people are probably pretty used to having to explain things to Politico.

mr bojangles September 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm

har har har har!!! you funny!!

lochnessmonster September 4, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Ummm…aren't most of those chairs made in China? Not the thing a Good American would want to show off I think!

fishwharf September 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Eastwood's subtle chiding of the Republican faithful went way over their heads, and sadly seems to have gone over the heads of many of the readers here.

I'd vote for Clint in a heartbeat regardless of what party he's affiliated with.

Gleem McShineys September 4, 2012 at 6:24 pm

"He braved derision and ridicule for standing on the convention stage."

Um, well, no. The order, Malkin, is the other way around.

"He received derision and ridicule for doing something strange (sure, we'll call it standing) on the convention stage."

FTFY,C

glamourdammerung September 4, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I do not see in this the deep appreciation or murder, racism, rape, and torture that one usually finds in conservative/Republican/whatever they are calling themselves this week's "humor".

punkneverdies September 5, 2012 at 1:05 am

it's really quite amazing to me that people not only read michelle malkin but think she's funny and makes salient points

"32 oz sodas still enjoyed in our home" well are you going to blame democrats when you're kids are bloated diabetics at age 32, assuming they live that long?

jtgillick September 5, 2012 at 2:28 am

Don't you doofs remember "100 BOOTS"?

??? Eleanor Antin's conceptual project ???

sigh. let me explain …

there is going to be a ONE MILLION CHAIRS MARCH !!!

It will begin with ONE Empty Chair, lonely on the syringe-poxed county beach at Pomadoro Point, CA. All undecided-leaning-Right registered voters will all receive a high-quality picture postcard of this.

then a few days later they will receive a picture-postcard of TWO Empty Chairs together in the eastern foothills of the Cascades.

Then … a few days after that, they will receive a postcard of FOUR Empty Chairs in Yosemite

Then eight, sixteen thirty- two, doubling each iteration, heading always, always … Eastward actress this Great Country Of Ours
… till. … finally …
America beholds, covering the steps of the capitol – the day before election day! – ONE MILLION EMPTY CHAIRS!

Eat your hearts out, Bonus Marchers – this isn't just politics … it’s ART!

ttommyunger September 5, 2012 at 10:55 am

I spent a lot of my youth in the P. I. I admire and respect Filipinos; they are handsome, hard-working and responsible people. My daughter-in-Law is full blooded and awesome in every way. I don't know what Malkin's daddy did to her to make her so bent, but I'm guessing it's a Felony in every state.

Troglodeity September 5, 2012 at 11:56 am

Of course these idiots don't put on the sign WHEN this "national day" is, was, or will be. Just like the rest of the organizational clusterf*ck that the RNC turned out to be.

Porter Melmoth September 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Yes, Clint Eastwood’s little Drama 201-level Improv Theatre of the Absurd workshop appeared to flop, all right. Mainly because the audience couldn’t figure out that it was a comedy sketch, not a rhetorical speech. But at least Eastwood is an admitted actor, unlike all the pinwheels fluttering about him.

Clint’s performance revealed that he is more of an L. Ron Paulista than a waif in need of Mitten cuddling (e.g. Mitt would actually bring the troops home (???) and other prevarications…). It was viewed by most, and some who should have known better, as an Alzheimerian ramble, a sign of heroic Harry’s dribbling twilight to come. But since few in America except the Gays take a Drama course anymore, such attempts at art are considered ‘over the top’, ‘WTF’ or some other bland write-off analysis.

Verdict on Clint’s ‘Interview With B.H. Obama, In The Ionesco Style’: half-baked, silly content, weakly delivered. Don Rickles would’ve pulled it off with more flair. But at least two people in the audience got a kick out of it: Clint’s 146 year-old mom – and me.

(Excerpted from The New York Times Drama section's review of my two-volume treatise: 'The Absurdist Performances of Clint Eastwood: Berlin 1926 to Tampa 2012' (HarperCollins) )

rhubarbpie2 September 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Now it's time for Wonkette to ramp this up. (There are Democratic empty suits too, of course, but none of them running for president. No comment on Biden.)

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