SHARE

I eat poopThe Republican party loves Labor Day so much that it’s gone and created a whole new special double version of it, on the same day. This one, however, celebrates the historical enemy of organized labor, the Noble Small Businessman. Everyone, quick, whip your cat’o nine tails at the nearest laborers to honor the owners of capital. “Today,” Richmond plantation master Rep. Eric Cantor wrote on the Twitter yesterday, “we celebrate those who have taken a risk, worked hard, built a business and earned their own success.” So yeah, he got Labor Day exactly wrong, but he knows that, and that’s why he’s generally considered an unlikable person.

Let’s make several other Conservative Opposite Holidays!

  • Thanksgiving: Murder Bomb Day.
  • Martin Luther King Jr. Day: Woolworth’s Lunch Counter Appreciation Day.
  • Christmas: Stop the War on Christmas Day.
  • Actually “Murder Bomb Day” would pretty much cover them all.

    [Twitter]

    $
    Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleA Children’s Treasury Of Dancing And Hijinks From Your Atlanta Drinky Thing
Next articleHello Charlotte, Ready To Rumble?