Add to Flipboard Magazine.

TTommy, your wife is callingAtlanta, dear Wonkadoos, was a compleat treat. About a dozen hardy lovers came from all over the South — one young miss from Birmingham! — to drink our beer and eat our vittles. And every one a peach! As usual, we will not be identifying the beautiful peoples in our party pix, but they may do so if they choose, in the comments. EXCEPT! We will ID TTommyUnger, who is the sexy old beast in the black mustache, because we must talk about his wife! Now. You never know what’s going to happen when someone brings a wife. Maybe she will be unhappy with our crude, vulgar, libtard ways! Sure, he hangs out in biker bars, but maybe they lead separate lives and she knits muffins with her High Baptist Ladies Auxiliary (we understand this is what they do in the genteel South). Nope. Melanie proceeded to regale us with tales of waving her titanium .38 at any ol’ motherfuckers who wanted to cut her off in traffic, and also some good ones about Jimmy Carter at church. So Melanie is our newest lady love, and she’s packing heat. Party people after the jump!

Previous articleYour Labor Day Explainer Of Why None Of Us Have Jobs
Next articleEric Cantor Honors America's Unsung Managerial Class on Labor Day