hot pix

A Children’s Treasury Of Dancing And Hijinks From Your Atlanta Drinky Thing

TTommy, your wife is callingAtlanta, dear Wonkadoos, was a compleat treat. About a dozen hardy lovers came from all over the South — one young miss from Birmingham! — to drink our beer and eat our vittles. And every one a peach! As usual, we will not be identifying the beautiful peoples in our party pix, but they may do so if they choose, in the comments. EXCEPT! We will ID TTommyUnger, who is the sexy old beast in the black mustache, because we must talk about his wife! Now. You never know what’s going to happen when someone brings a wife. Maybe she will be unhappy with our crude, vulgar, libtard ways! Sure, he hangs out in biker bars, but maybe they lead separate lives and she knits muffins with her High Baptist Ladies Auxiliary (we understand this is what they do in the genteel South). Nope. Melanie proceeded to regale us with tales of waving her titanium .38 at any ol’ motherfuckers who wanted to cut her off in traffic, and also some good ones about Jimmy Carter at church. So Melanie is our newest lady love, and she’s packing heat. Party people after the jump!

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Looks very interesting, but what about ZOIDBERG?!

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Stink gland is stinky. And your table manners leave something to be desired. Also that whole invasion of Earth thing because you ate the flag, not appreciated. I have still have scars from the Mobile Oppression Palace.

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Hoorya! People are paying attention to me!

        • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

          All the killing and enslavement were schmutzing up the freedom lesson.

    • GhostBuggy

      Don't worry, they ate plenty of Dr. Newberg. I mean, Lobster Zoidberg. I mean, Dr. Zoidberg.

  • no_gravity

    So I'm sure you Atlanta peepsies think you're so cool because you went to a place that had walls. Well, we don't need no stinkin' walls in Tampa and they just blow down anyway.

  • Baconzgood

    Chicks that pack heat rock!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Clearly, you've never offended one.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Yeah, even if they don't actually go for the weapon, they tend to be a little edgy (see my college roommate coming home with glass in his skull from the lady cop he was dating).

  • Weenus299

    have one in Columbia, SC, so I can be the only person. Something cheap, like in a Mack Donald's playplace or better, the Art Bar.

    • Terry

      Aw, go upscale for the night and hit someplace in Five Points. Yesterday's was fun back in the mid-80's when I lived in Columbia.

      • Weenus299

        Yesterday's is hit and miss. The black bean burger is OK, but the chicken parmesan is dried out, gristly and tastelss.

    • Terry

      Is Group Therapy still there? I fell through a little stage they used to have in the back room one night after a few drinks.

      • Weenus299

        Yes it's still there. And the bathrooms will make you vomit on top of the vomit that's already laying in the clogged toilet.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      I was gonna ask about Goat Feathers which I thought served as coffee bar *and* also poured brew. I never visited when I lived there but noticed you could drink alchohol at the tables outside on the sidewalk — something that is forbidden here at downtown Richmond restaurant-bars unless they install a railing around.. which is more trouble than worthwhile for most.

      • Weenus299

        It's still there too, pouring about million different brews, and coffee. A quirky place to get wasted.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The dots on the polka dot dress keep following me around the room. Or it's the boobs. Either way, I'm glad you guys had fun.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I would totally hang out with TTommyUnger. I have no doubt that he was the king of the room.

    • freakishlywrong

      I just pictured him looking exactly like that, right?

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        UNCANNY, ENNIT?!

    • FakaktaSouth

      Actually as amazing as TTommy is, and we all already knew this, HIS WIFE was the QUEEN. She is HILARIOUS, and smart and sassy and I am so glad to know a couple like them exists in the world. They give me hope.

      • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

        I just knew his wife would be an awesome, sassy, ass kicking gal!

      • Boojum

        Honeychile, we need to have 'nother one, even if Becca can't come. It was much too much fun.

    • ttommyunger

      You are too kind; now if I could just remember how to hang out….

  • Beowoof

    Way too many hot women for me, I am old and my heart is fluttering from the pics.

  • iamrrm

    Faptastic!

  • thatsitfortheother1

    I hate you, Tommy!

    ;-)

    • ttommyunger

      I hates myself, that why I Wonk.

  • Barbara_

    These people gathered and managed to make this venue the best looking place in all of Atlanta that night.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I love you. It was lovely, and Becs is my new knife fight partner forever. If I am ever lost on the streets of Atlanta (the 4 Seasons should be bigger) I only want for it to be with her.

      • Barbara_

        Tommy sent the pictures of you and the dazzling brunette while the party was going on. I wanted to be there and to meet you both right that minute.

        • FakaktaSouth

          Oh I cannot tell you how much I wish you were there! I missed a few of my people, but it was very very nice.

          • Barbara_

            You are so lovely, thanks!
            I rented a vacation home just outside of Atlanta for next month. Let's hook up.

          • FakaktaSouth

            That sounds like an excellent plan. I would love to!

          • Nothingisamiss

            Me too! I'm in the white sweater, to the right of Fakakta. I would LOVE to meet you.

          • FakaktaSouth

            YES! And you owe me some dances! I had so much fun meeting you! You are lovely and sweet and smart and funny. We should do it again!

  • Pragmatist2

    Well, I guess there is no need to request more girl-on-girl pictures.

  • JackDempsey1

    Pet Peeve for IMG 0117:

    Mr. Euclid declares that circular tables pushed together don't really create a unified surface.
    Unless what you were trying to do is recreate the logo for the '96 Olympics, in which case BAH, BAH ba ba ba BAH ba, BAH BAH ba BAH

    • Baconzgood

      Did you notice that there is a big ass table in the backround that's totally empty?

      • Terry

        It's reserved for the Holy Spirit.

    • Biff

      It's a living Venn diagram, duh!

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Some chicks wear polka dots. All chicks smell good. Therefore, polka dots are hot.

        I had a hard time with that class.

    • Guppy

      Mr. Euclid declares that circular tables pushed together don't really create a unified surface.

      I'm sure the state legislature says otherwise. Jesus himself probably squared a circle or two.

      • sullivanst

        The church sure tries it a lot. Or at least, the masons do.

  • freakishlywrong

    You look deliciously hammered Becs. Glad to see it. Balloon Juice posted a nice pic as well, (from the convention)

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Somehow I did not picture John Cole looking like that. The comments are hilarious over there, too.

      • freakishlywrong

        They love us! They really love us!

  • thatsitfortheother1

    OBTW, editrix, let me know if you need any help getting that Wonkette sticker off…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Good thing TTommy isn't sporting the goatbeard to go with the cool 'stache, or he'd be "twin separated at birth" with old Walter White.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I see ttommy as more of a Mike Ehrmantraut.

    • ttommyunger

      Have you ever seen Walter and I in the same room together? Think about it….

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Gunplay and all, I love to tell hear the story.. But the lady shown on the right in Pic #5, her tee shirt I can just make out an image of our Prez doing a fist jab which reminds me what puts the 'action' in "action figures."

    • finallyhappy

      It is the Prez punching a zombie-and he is my only hope for the zombie apocalypse

      • freakishlywrong

        Actually, I feel like we're being overrun by Orcs. But, yeah, they're Zombies as well. Orc Zombies. Holy shit.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        I'm guessing that's you, then? Way to go! I had the impression you were at one time a Virginian, or else dotted back & forth with various gigs in different locales in the south.

        • finallyhappy

          Worked in virginia the last 15 years before retiring 2.5 years ago

  • Limeylizzie

    Next week you Wonketteers will have to imagine Rebecca and I in our jammies hanging out together in NYC as she will be sleeping on my couch, or in my bed if things heat up.

    • Barbara_

      I can't believe my gal pals are cheating on me like this and rubbing it in.

      • Limeylizzie

        We'll Skype you.

        • Barbara_

          I would love that, thanks!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I hate you AND Tommy…

    • prommie

      Ahem. Excuse me? When is this? And why have I not been invited?

      • Limeylizzie

        I get back next week, I was going to get in touch with you once the jet-lag had subsided. I assume we will all go and play , are you in good shape for that?

        • prommie

          Semi-fair. I am mobile enough.

          • Limeylizzie

            I will be in touch, young Prommie!

      • James Michael Curley

        My Outlook Distress has it listed as September 13th 6:30 but no location.
        I'm hoping for McSorley's.

        • prommie

          Puking frat-boy central?

          • James Michael Curley

            I see it has changed and our Editrix calls it Gross. I haven’t been there since 1972 or 1973. The NY frat scene would never have gone near there then. I was also there the night before Lindsey ordered it open to women. In the later visits they still had not resolved the bathroom issue and the window panes on the door were painted over.

          • prommie

            I suppose it was a coming of age thing for us suburban boys in the early 80s to go there. It was gross then. Full of drunk suburban boys.

            I grow old. I don't even know how to go out drinking anymore.

          • James Michael Curley

            I used to go to many places in the whole gamut of Washington Square to the East Village in the mid to late sixties. Sometimes I remember them. However, McSorley’s was a place where they wouldn’t let you in the door if you didn’t look old enough and by that the standard seemed to be residents of the Maritime Union Hall around the corner. Then a few years went by with the Army and Vietnam and later when home from college we went there and it was no less wizened but no frat boy types. By the eighties everything was uptown above 42nd street.

        • prommie

          I am accustomed to a certain level of accomodation. The bar at the Plaza, is that still what it was?

          • James Michael Curley

            The Oak Room is closed as of a few months ago with the holiday season being the expected opening date. I haven’t been to the new Champaign Room which was redone a while ago. I haven’t been there in 12 years. I think the Rose Club was turned into a restaurant.

          • prommie

            I have not been to the oak room in decades either.

        • commiegirl99

          McSorley's is Teh Gross.

          • James Michael Curley

            Why do you say that (although I haven’t been there since the 70’s.)?

          • http://twitter.com/bookofruthless boobookitteh

            You don't like being served cheese and mustard off someone else's table with stale crackers still in the plastic sleeve? Or having the surly waiter carry your beer with his fingers inside the glass?

            I guess "klassy" is subjective.

  • qwerty42

    Regret I could not attend. I see The Editrix and Jim are now in Charlotte with John Cole and Imani Gandy (ABL).
    Enjoy NC. I believe the rain will be gone in a day or so.

  • Limeylizzie

    Tommy got his own Alt-text!

    • Barbara_

      If you didn't give him one he'd just beat one out of you.
      Love ya, Tommy!

    • ttommyunger

      Sorry, Lizzy, didn't catch that; I was talking to an empty chair.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Is that a wife-beater under the guayabera?

    • ttommyunger

      You bet your sweet ass….I can dream, can't I? Mrs T was not shown-she can kick my ass, easy.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    TTommyUnger looks like a pirate…or Mr. Clean. Looks like a good time was had by all.

    • Boojum

      It was, indeed.

      • FakaktaSouth

        It WAS fun and I was so glad to meet you, thank you for everything, I am keeping your number handy.

        • Boojum

          I'll gladly put on my shining armor and ride wildly about in all directions.

    • ttommyunger

      Aaaaaaaargh!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm just surprised that there are that many liberal-type people in the state of Georgia.

    • freakishlywrong

      Heavens no, Baldar. They're only IN Georgia. For the drinky thingee. I went a few years ago to the mountains and trust me; there are no liberal-types that actually LIVE there. It was very Macon County Line.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I imported from Alabama, so it's a total sham.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        You know it's bad when Georgia's importing its liberals from Alabama!

        • BaldarTFlagass

          New colleague just transferred into the empty cubicle across from me. Deep Alabama, I thought "oh no not another one" but I was pleased to find out he's totally on our team. About our hardcore righty co-workers he asks, "why don't they quit working here, get off the government tit, and start their own business?" Things are just a little better in Flagass World today.

    • Lazy Media

      It was in Atlanta, not Georgia. Two different places.

      And there ARE lib'ruls in more rural Georgia; tough and tested ones. Any punk can be a liberal in NYC or SF; takes no guts at all. Being a Unitarian in, say, Macon takes a certain amount of ballsiness.

  • Peckerwood_Pete

    Is that Anton LaVey in the main photo?

  • DahBoner

    Which one was Honey Boo Boo?

    • GhostBuggy

      All of them, Katie.

  • sbj1964

    Long before Viagra there was good Ole Alcohol.Increases the desire,but lesson the performance.

    • Chichikovovich

      New advertising slogan:
      Viagra: It makes you stand to, and not not stand to!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      It's a curve (alcohol ingested/desire) that goes up moderately until a break point where it drops off precipitously. Kinda like propellers producing thrust until the tips go supersonic.

      Actually, not like that at all.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Who the fuck are all those people?

    • prommie

      TTom reminds me of Jack White for some odd reason.

      • FakaktaSouth

        You know, I am fine with that.

        • prommie

          It bears repeating.

          • FakaktaSouth

            You really don't have the right to be quoting my love of all things jangly what with the way you talk about him. But nice.

          • prommie

            If only he didn't use 100% recycled riffs I could maybe like him. But as it is I just keep thinking about the song I first heard that line in, you know what I mean? You hear his new song that sounds just like the Heatmiser song? Oh thats right, thats you and Chet's fave!

          • FakaktaSouth

            I really cannot believe someone who listens to some of the over and over same shit punk as you do feels superior enough to rag on Jack. I just can't – those people ACTUALLY DO EACH OTHER'S SAME SONGS.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            I'll assume you're just tryin' to get our goats, as the charge is ludicrous.

          • prommie

            I see you have not listened to the Heatmiser song recently.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            If I knew this "Heatmiser" of whom you speak, I'm sure you could not dislodge me from my high dudgeon, but no.

          • FakaktaSouth

            I'm mister heat miser, I'm mister sun. You know, Rudolph. It may be true, but still, great song.

          • prommie

            I double-dog-dare you to deny it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMjAf8Nwohs

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Jesus, what are you, 23 years old? It's a freakin' cover of a 1960 song by Little Willie John, that was also covered by the Blasters 30 years ago.
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWRjus3end4
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB2kogSjyQU

            Rankin & Bass owe you an apology.

          • prommie

            Oops. nevermind.

          • FakaktaSouth

            You are so cool.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            I gotta get used to shaking my old man cane, even if I'm just fiddy-two.

          • prommie

            Speaking of canes, I gotta get me one. I am looking for a nice shillelagh.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Get yourself one a them mystical African sticks, like the old Afrocentric dudes always have. Goes best with a licorice chew stick and a kufi.

          • prommie

            Don't know if I could pull that one off, man.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Hehe!

          • AlterNewt

            Don't mess with Chet on the music.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, what was the dance tune?

    • Steverino247

      Disco Inferno…

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Perhaps TTommy (see prommie's comment above) and Loretta Lynn singing about Portland?

    • Guppy

      Peanuts theme.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Okay. Now: Nashville?

  • fartknocker

    TTommy is a handsome man and his wife is a beautiful woman. But the Editorix in her polka-dot dress makes me giddy. A good time was had by all.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    There are more girls than guys. That NEVER happens when I go out.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Between the polka dot dress and the hot blonde, these are my favorite drinky time pics, by far!

    • FakaktaSouth

      And now I love you even more.

      • Biff

        I knew that was you!

        • FakaktaSouth

          Hola. Yep, that's my giant head.

          • gullywompr

            Whoa. God bless America.

          • HistoriCat

            (Looks at the picture again, notices there's a head above the shoulders). What are you talking about ? Your head looks perfectly ordinary in a photogenic way.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        The feeling is mutual! BTW, love the guy in the background of the 5th pic down, checking out your ass.

        • FakaktaSouth

          I DO TOO. I takes em where's I can gets em…

        • prommie

          Thats hilarious!

  • ElPinche

    Look at all those wonderful boner makers.

  • RadioBowels

    General Sherman would be proud.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i am SO glad i was actually in atlanta last weekend not hanging at a cool bar with editrix and ttommy.

    this means of course that i will seriously misbehave in chicago.

  • Guppy

    Are all of Our Editrix's dresses red?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Screw the dresses, what about the lingerie?

    • commiegirl99

      yes.

  • Limeylizzie

    Who will be attending the NYC gathering? Have we decided on a spot yet?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I'm in but I haven't heard about a place yet.

    • prommie

      Its good rooftop weather, is there a cool rooftop place with views and suchwhat, for us bridge and tunnel people to gawk at?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Assuming it don't rain, you mean. Rooftop places are expensive.

        • Millennial Malaise

          There are some not too expensive ones in Brooklyn. Berry Park is the first that comes to mind but a bit out of the way. http://www.yelp.com/biz/berry-park-brooklyn

          (still can't do hyper links)

          • Limeylizzie

            Brooklyn????? Nah.

    • prommie

      Can we rent out the Metropolitan Museum maybe? Thats a nice place for an event.

    • Millennial Malaise

      Me me me! Anxiously waiting for a venue decision.

    • cromiller

      I'm in!

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Me also too, if something is set. I'll come in for this.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      I'd like to come! Does anybody have a couch? I haz no moneez for hotel. (LL, I know yours is taken)

      • Limeylizzie

        Where are you coming in from?

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Boston.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Count me in. Annie Moore’s, on East 43rd, has plenty of room, tables downstairs, and it's a quick walk to Grand Central. Not a bad place (after the commuters leave to catch their Metro North trains), but with $10 wings, is it divey enough for Wonkers?

      There's also the W. 79th St. Boat Basin Cafe (burgers & beer on a covered patio, with river view.)

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I call bullshit

    These photos are in focus.

    • HistoriCat

      Plus, none of them are sideways.

      Photoshopped!

    • gullywompr

      They've been shopped. I can tell by the pixels.

      • finallyhappy

        If they were shopped, I would hae made myself look like the other women there!1

  • Biff

    All of this twisting, and the frugging…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      They're practically watusi-ing!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      That came after the dancing.

  • BarackMyWorld

    *swoon*

  • Blueb4sinrise

    OOOOO!
    OOOOO!
    OGODOGODOGODOGOD!!!!!!!!!!
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  • MinAgain

    Hey, I was in Atlanta for Dragon*con this weekend, my own self. Maybe you saw me. I wore a purple octopus carrying a small "I am the 99%" on my head, so that I could be Octopi Wall Street.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Get on with yo' bad cephalopod.

    • finallyhappy

      Wait- did it move- were you Plutonium? Otherwise, no. I was in the Parade with the Periodic Table of Elements as Actinium- but I only wear that for the parade.(radiation symbol on my head and a silver cape) I don't costume the rest of the time(but maybe next year)

      • MinAgain

        No, I was Helium. I wore a crown for the parade, being a Noble Gas and all.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Yet another dress I can't wear to any future Dallas drinky thing. Many more of these and I am going to have to attend in the nude.

    • Guppy

      How you doin'?

  • rocktonsam

    girl, you need a sweater to cover those things up!

    put em away before they hurt someone

  • SaintRond

    That guy with the mustache in the first photo exemplifies the hippies of Dixie — leather cowboy hats, barbituates instead of LSD and where Benzedrine still has a place in family life. This is what passes for a Liberal down there.

    That said, Jesus Christ, Wonkette women are such a turn on. I don't know if it's the catnip like effect of the estrogens or I'm just attracted to vicious humor fueled by good intentions.

    Please come to Mexico City. You do have fans here.

    • Lazy Media

      That is an awesome stereotype, and in that particular Liberal's case, 100 percent wrong. That's actually a booze-snob, ex-punk lawyer who spent the evening buying tequila shots for everyone. You could have gone with deer-hunter, though.

      • SaintRond

        Yep. Exactly. It's called a "Dixie Liberal."

        I know from whence I speak.

    • ttommyunger

      Beer, whiskey and pussy were my drugs of choice. Still would be if I could handle them.

  • VeraSevera

    The sheen of sweat on your cleavage is making me question my sexual orientation Wonkette…and yours.

    • SaintRond

      You think she took one for the team and got together with that Dixie Liberal?

      Jesus. That would be impressive.

  • vag

    I just shot.

  • Lazy Media

    Yeah, that was some pahdy. Instead of a sausage fest, a beauty pageant. Plus, the guy at the door of the Clermont Lounge liked my Schlitz-Gusto shirt so much he waived the cover.

  • rickmaci

    Holy Hotties Batman!!

  • paulf40

    Is that Bert Reynolds without his toupee?

    • ttommyunger

      Nope. Burt is out of shape now.

  • Negropolis

    Wait, is the FakaktaSouth in the pink?! And our dear Editrix is looking good as usual.

    Ttommy, you sure you're not a character on Breaking Bad? You looked like you've collected a few debts in your day. lol

    Good to put faces to names. Maybe, someday I'll make it out to one of these.

  • ttommyunger

    Real life (making some moneeze/working out) has once again interfered with my 'puter addictions… Not to identify anyone, but the wife is not shown in these shots, just in case you might think the super-hot blonde is Mrs. T. In point of fact, she is younger than any of my children and I have no doubt that two hours alone with her and a cold glass of water would kill me deader than a wedge. Melody and I, being geezers and all, left around old O'clock and missed the good stuff, as usual. BTW, if you went to the Clermont; my apologies. Atlanta has waaay better titty bars. If you don't believe me try the Mardis Gras next trip.

    • commiegirl99

      Goddamn it, I knew it was going to be "Melody" if I said Melanie. Please give my apologies to your lovely lady wife.

      • ttommyunger

        No problem, she still loves you.Sent from my iPhone