Greeteries, subjects. It is I, thy lord Mme. HRH Miss Peggington Noonington, queene word-smither of thine Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, and good heavens, the thingingtons that I Hath Seen in Tampa, polis of knaves and Deville Rays. Myne dispatchery hath been postington’d on the vulgarian electrico-blogge, vulgarly titled “Peggy Noonan’s Opinion Blog,” that mine Editors hath force upponeth Mee, for the increasery of Companie Revenues. I want-ingshire nothing of this robotico insta-sorcery; it is Beneathe Mee. Goode Heavens! Onwarding, then, to this se’en-day’s Declarations, myne column of souls. Dost thou rememberest, slave, the time that I eyed the visage of a Mexican? (This one time, I, Peggy Noonan, saweth a Mexican.) Now, a second sighting: I hath seen another Mexican, a “Susana Martinez,” Lord-Regent of the “New” Mexico territory. She resembleth a Mexican, from the Television drameries I vieweth in myne New-Amdersdamme skypod, on drugs.
New Mexico Gov. Susan Martinez was a revelation. I’d never seen her speak. She came across as tough, funny, able, smart. She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”—the no-nonsense Latina who tells the detectives to make the call and get the perp.
And Noweth I shall velocitate by Motor-Steed to Charlotte, in thine Carolinas, to vieweth the Africkan, &c.
{ 317 comments }
Did she mention that the Governor is brown? That's the crucial bit of info to get across.
Brown AND a conservative. The exacta of winning!
She ain't very brown. She is very Republican, though. One of those dump public payroll/cut corporate taxes kinda governors.
These New World creatures! How mysterious!
Consider thee: perhaps, even more perverse, a Spaniard?
A Spaniard! Nay, tis that more loathsome countryman who steeleth across the fair waters betwixt Our States and the Southern lands. 'Tis the beast with wet back.
Verily, our tawny brethren.
The Esquimaux
Dost think of snow,
More than I care to know.
His icy hut
dost not stop one to seek,
a tender kiss to the cheek.
And when I meet one out on the street,
dost mine heart go skip a beat.
Oh Praise Jesus!! Who got you drunk enough to finally do it again?!
I get myself plenty drunk enough, thank you very much. One day I'll have enough amphetamine/sleeplessness to do an extended one.
Please do! I've missed that particular blingee.
Hook us up with a Blingee contest, and it's all gravy.
Gawd this made my weekend. HOW I HAVE MISSED THIS BLINGEE (and these weekly missives from Ms.Noonington). I love it when Peggington spies us brownz out in the Real World. I half expect her to tag and release us so that she might tracketh our comings and goings for her amuuuuusement. Thanks, Newell.
Does this woman every hit the sidewalks of New York because you can see every kind of creature if you would only walk down on Broadway.
Oh, like she would be caught dead on the West Side.
Some Crystalle Methe for Master Newelle!
Is there a PayPal button yet? Or an Indiegogo fundraiser?
Her Gratefulle Subjects extend Felicitations and Thankfullenesses for bringething back Ye Dayyes of Glorye.
We all miss Dame Peggy , as massaged by Jim Newell.
Ew. You'd wish that on Jim?
I doth sayeth, I doff my hat to thee! 'twas verily a toure-defource for thine deare, deare Peggingsworth! Pray excuse, I require au monocole, excelsior!
Oh Priabus Jaysus?
Isn't that the head of the GOP?
I have been waiting for this for a long time. Please do more sooneth!
"She's so well-spoken she must be a character from popular fiction."
I seem to remember another right-winger who confused a TV character with a real person.
Ah, good times.
Came for a link to Jack Bauer's Wiki page, left disappointed.
Well no REAL messican could be that erudite, right Pegs? Ugh what an arrogant elitist turd that woman is.
She's the King's Hand, despite being a wench.
Whhhha?
I don't think people really talk like that.
Is it not Happy Hour in your time zone yet?
67 more minutes for the Left Coast. Not sure I can live that long…
I've taken advantage of the retiree (aka unemployed guy) time zone exemption, myself.
Who is the detective supposed to call?
Did Gov. Martinez insult Custer again? 'Cause I won't stand for it!
Dame Noonington also believes bearded men to be werewolves. Or Amish.
Amish werewolves would make for an awesome Twilight knock-off.
Genius. Now all we need is a great title.
There's a difference?
Perhaps next she can meet Pat Buchanan, who's like an avuncular Irish barkeep from a primetime sit-com. Or she could meet Michael Steele, who is like a negro.
The old school "know your place" negro, or the "uppity" kind?
Oh, I think she'd cast Mr. Steele as the Norman Lear dramady "Let's All Be Friends Here" Lamont from Sanford & Son kind.
So more like Uncle Ben than Uncle Tom?
Bingo!
The operative word being "like".
I think she thought Michael Steele was one of the good ones, but turned, as happens sometimes with slaves after masa sells them down the river.
Oh, snap! Shit just got real.
That is, truly, one of the best turns of phrase I've seen in a long. long time. I'm tempted to create puppets just to give you more upfisties.
"CSI Childs Victim Unit", just to let us know that she doesn't waste her time on the vulgar preoccupations of the lower classes, like watching television. What a bitch. Go back to wrtitng stuff for that fish wrapper you work for, while people still read "the papers".
This post is a great way to tell how long commenters have been around.
I keep having to shake my head vigorously, and blink a couple of times at the screen, when I see "No WIre Hangers" popping up. Like being transported back in time.
Word. Mumblety.
I honestly thought it was a glitch until I read the title after having saw the graphic. lol I thought Wonkette had gone back in time.
I lurkethed many a fortnight before venturing a comment because of lazy.
NEXT LETS GET A BUTTERSTICK UPDATE
YES
Butterstick, we hardly knew ye!
Butterstick is assembling IPhonz in Zhengzhou Technology Park, PRC.
I've been reading since at least the latter part of the Noonington Era. Alas, I am not familiar with Butterstick. I found the reason the Noonington posts abated to be highly amusing.
Mittens will declare trade war on China and send seal team six to rescue Butterstick. the stick is an American citizen after all, we can't stand for this chicom tyranny.
Butterstick libel!
When did the Noonington fall out of favor from the Wonket?
Those were great posts to brush up on me olde english as spoke at the court of anglo saxony. It be goode to see Jim lad bringeth her back. Thank you and all the breast to you.
Needz moar LNS
Long enough to bemoan several changes to the Wonkette logo…..
And we ain't seen Jessica Cultler's tits around here in a coon's age.
Jessica is now married, with two children, and has moved far away from the Land of Sin. More's the pity, but her kids are darling.
Needs moar skoalrebel.
Yeah, well, Pareene never thought of this particular convention. Nor did we all, forsooth.
drinky drinky nooninghamshire
Sara K Smith guest post time.
Retro Wonkette Days, every Thursday. Ladies Drink half price. Must be 31 or older to enter.
I’m not familiar with what I all wrote, but I stand by what I wrote, whatever it was.
Was Dame Noonington's first Wonkette column before or after Ms. Noonan gave Wonkette a shout out?
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe… Cocktober off the shoulder of Orion. Buttersticks glittering in the darkness. Wonkette breaking the story on Sarah Palin, America's Hottest Governor. Walnuts. All these moments, lost in time, like tears in the rain.
or dust in the wind.
A little late to the party, but: yes, today we are all Dame Peggy's terrible, wicked children.
i believe we were the dizzy children.
This, and Get Your War On returns. While these two welcome developments may not make this the greatest weekend ever, it is certainly the best on in a long time!
a really long fucking time.
i hope you're happy jim and please keep dame peggy happy, sedated and posting at wonkette.
So how drunk did Noonan get watching the convention?
Probably more than I. But only.
Well, since she probably didn't start from sober, there's no way of telling.
Enough to see a Mexican and forget that she's already seen one before.
And that was a true classic. I hadn't even realized how long ago that was; it was right after I had graduated law school, I remembered it as being more recent.
It's because the martini vapors from our Dame Nooningtonshire on high seep through Jim's columns and muddle our brains making us forget how long she has blessed us.
Credit where it it's due: Ken Layne wrote the original Peggy Saw A Mexican post. Jimmy took over the Peggy Noonan beat shortly thereafter.
Noonily….
Verily, the (overwrought, meaningless) words fail.
Does "All of them, Katie" in slurring speech work as an answer for this question, because…All of them, Katie. Too.
Yes, I've been waiting for this Jim.
Gov. Martinez will continue to be a shining star for the GOP here in NM; until she is ordered by the national party to crack down on public pensions – the third rail of New Mexico politics. If she goes along with a Walker-type agenda, she'll be out of the Roundhouse like shit through a goose.
YAHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
On the floor, the delegate seats had too much space between them, which removed the kind of animal density that speakers in big halls need.
Oh, I think you animals were plenty dense, Peggy…
The space between the seats were for the 'saddlebags'
"Tough, Funny, Able, Smart." Good enough, even, to do yard work for Lady Peggington!
Wow, just read Her Ladyship's column. Can you imagine how high on laudanum and absinthe Dame Noonington must have been all week to have seen that convention?!
But did she note how well behaved the Governor was in Sylvia's restaurant in Harlem?
Bring me a motherfucking tax cut!
"Where's my madrefucking iced tea, esse?!"
Noonington! Fuckyounington!
"no-nonsense Latina" = Dora the Explorer. Always bossing that monkey around.
Verily, had she been a mite comelier, and many a mite more eloquent, she might have been comparable unto me, in my salad days, when I was green, yet not tinged thusly from a misfortunate admixture of Vicodin and Bombay Sapphire, as at present. To the chaise lounge, I go, perchance to regurgitate, which a trusty servant shall collect into an urn purchased long ago from the Orient, to be submitted as mine next columnary literary writing oeuvre item.
Finally, Jim Newell demonstrates that you CAN do something with a liberal arts degree in this day and age.
Hark and forsooth! I spot-eth a twat-eth!
we are about to find out whether this year is 1976 or 1980—if what we have just witnessed is a harbinger of change, or the change itself.
We'll know in 9½ weeks
Oh good–I'm glad to know I am not the only one who thinks this election has been one long S&M session…
Who could she compare to pre-plastic Mickey Rourke?
50 Shades of Meh
Is she trying to tell us she was fucked by an Incubus during Romney's speech?
Sounds about like 1673 if you ask me, or in Republican-language, the good old days.
Or 1692, seeing how Mitt's from Massachusetts.
i don't know. if i had to compare this season to a mickey rourke movie i'd go with angel heart.
or barfly.
This is bad news for Charo.
She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”—the no-nonsense Latina who tells the detectives to make the call and get the perp.
First they take fake jobs at Epcot away from Americans and now they're taking our make-believe prosecutor jobs on made-up fictional TV shows.
She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”—the no-nonsense Latina who tells the detectives to make the call and get the perp.
Verity Peggington! For thou knoweth no Latina of intellect existeth for realith in the land except on thou Novella-On-The-Television.
"Now allow me to relate thif amusing aneckdote, wherein Colonial Governor Viscount Ronald Reagan did commidst the highest act of japery, placing his dampened testiclef upon my brow!"
Hey, where'd you get a roman a clef????….
There was a day when one would have liked to have had sexual congrefs with her.
You could say Susan Martinez, made her day. *sunglasses* Whaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh Dame Peggy! There's a Mexican fellow down Epcot-way who could use a serving, maybe, of your pity! or of your… awe-struck'dness? Well just give him a little attention and some of that glowing glow of yours.
This post rocketh. As doth Lord Newell.
"She's like the prosecutor in a show with a name like…"
How lazy or drunk do you have to be if you (1) are too lazy to Google the name of the show, or (2) think the name you made up is funny?
HUZZAH!
I bow to our ginger Lord of the Exchequer, Newell.
Dame Noonington made a critical and helpful adjustment by calling Governor Martinez "Susan." She's already got the Martinez part — sticking with Susanna as a first name is really just rubbing her hispanicness in the noses of all the nice white people this country really belongs to.
I would have went with "Suzy".
Or as they pronounce it with the latina maids who work in Noonanshire Connecticut, "Suzita".
Hey, why is HamNo stealing your Nooningtonshire schtick? I thought you had an arrangement; you stay away from the Friedman jokes, he stays away from the Noonan jokes.
The major difference between the two, in my opinion, is that HamNo is an irritating, patronizing douchecanoe, whereas Newell is hilarious.
Jim: Gawker's loss, our gain.
Too damn right.
I used to have a Motor-Steed. I called it Pinto. (also called a bump-and-burn)
Why, an exploding gas tank was nothing back in the day. America was the shining city on the hill then. Or so I’m told.
Wait until the mouth breathers find out Martinez's grandparents were illegal immigrants. Not looking so good now, is she, HENGHHH??!!??!!!!
Wouldst nay hitteth that…
It's about time, Jim–way to long since the last time you snuck us all a Nooner.
Is it legal to just repost Ms. Noonan's columns from the WSJ to Wonkette?
Seems like a legitimate question…so let's SHUT IT DOWN(before WSJ shuts us down)!!
The body has a way to shut down the WSJ, but to do so, the body needs torches & pitchforks…
Or maybe just some help from Anonymous?
Jim, thank you. I can go to my long weekend and drink myself to a blackout content now.
Come on, now, Lionel, you were going to do that, anyway. ;)
Reading this made me think about Peggy Noonan, which reminded me of a question I've been meaning to ask the assembled MFAs of Wonkette, to wit:
Is the word "poltroon" gender-neutral, or is there a feminine form?
Probably gender neutral, but I suppose if you wanted to stress that you are insulting a female, I don't see why you can't add an -ess to it, as in poetess, actress, seamtress, Jewess, etc.
Perhaps "poltang?"
Bitch is always breathless and concerned about "tone". Hope she doesn't read this.
I hopeth she does.
She likes no-nonsense Latinas on TV but not on the Supreme Court.
"The delegates were full of cheer and happy. Condi Rice trembled, yet found her voice. I melted into Paul Ryan's eyes, and was content. Ann Romney was so pale, yet stout of face, radiant in her blinding blonde American-ness. Chris Christie spoke like the gruff but brave Brooklynite in some D-Day film, ready to give Hitler what-for. The Spanish Lady Governor of New Mexico reminded me of none so much as Rita Moreno, eyes flashing as she scolded Maria to 'stick to her own kind.' And finally Mitt. Handsome, aristocratic, capable and reproachful Mitt. 'You have exhausted us, Obama, with your Negritude,' he might as well have intoned. When Hope is an illusion, Change must come. And who is more nimble at Change than Willard Romney? Weeping, and holding myself with joy, until I awoke in a corner booth and hailed a passing bar-boy to help me find my room-key. Who has taken my undergarments?!"
Oh, that was good! I haven't read the original yet. Did she fail to mention current cowboy-hero at the picture-shows and paragon of manliness and eloquence, Clintington Eastwoodshire?
That wasn't the original?
(We secretly replaced Peggy Noonan's column with scathing Wonkette derision…)
You're soaking in it.
Oh, bravo! You captured the Procul Harumness of her prose beautifully.
And props to you for "Procul Harumness."
Well played, sir, well played.
Wouldn't it be hilarious if we played this to the hilt, and actually got some Republican operative to hire us as speechwriters? Oh, the fun we'd have, the places we'd go. lol
Why, I would have to use my "white telephone voice" at all times!
Are we sure this was Noonington? Not a single mention of her patron saint…
St. Johnnie Walker?
Oh, you meant Saint Ronnie of Simi.
I would have accepted either, but yes.
Sorry, I thought that was Saint Ronnie of Batshit.
Peggy Noonan, Queen of the three martini snooze.
Just keep the Governor the hell away from the Epcot Center.
Yeah, Her Ladyship is back! Also, is that how detectives work? They just make calls, and voila, find the perp? Who said there were no easy, well-paying jobs out there?
Of course not. They can't make the calls until ordered to do so by a no nonsense Latino woman.
They may be making calls, but that doesn't mean they're making social calls- or telephone calls…
She came across as tough, funny, able, smart…the no-nonsense Latina…
Peggy, OH, NO YOU DI'INT.
Bet Dame Noonington made a mess of her Depends watching Eastwood turn the last night of the RNC into a bad sitcom scene.
She's losing the debate with that empty fifth.
Fifths make fools of us, all.
This reminds me of the time I spilled my gin and tonic while watching "Breaking Bad."
"On the floor, the delegate seats had too much space between them, which removed the kind of animal density that speakers in big halls need."
Is that why those clowns had peanuts in hand?
tough + funny + able + smart = Sofía Margarita Vergara – sexy.
Nobody expected a great one. There was a broad feeling of, "Look, giving great speeches is not what Mitt does, he does other things."
He had to achieve adequacy. He did.
Wow — well, nobody can accuse Dame Peggy of adulatory praise for the main event. I'm looking forward to her open-mic description of her real opinion of the Mitt/Ryan ticket soon.
Jeebuzz. Talk about giving the guy a gloved and limp wristed royal handshake.
What could she say about HRM Mittington Lyington? That his plan is not to have a plan? That he would rather work the night shift at a Dunkin Donuts than explain how giving billionaires tax cuts while raising taxes on wage slaves will create jobs?
Talk about damning with faint praise!
Also, too, "Look, giving great speeches is not what Mitt does, he does other things."
Like, um, lying, dissembling, prevarication and telling porkie pies?
He had to achieve adequacy. He did.
Is this a review of how he fucks? "He managed to ejaculate in the right area."
So much for American exceptionalism. I'll take Obamadingo singing Al Green any day.
I can see the campaign advertisement now: Troubled times call for an adequate man — Mitt Romney.
AN ADEQUATE MAN / GRANNY KILLER 2012!
Talk about damning with faint praise. Yes, Mitt, that speech was just enough. It was…adequate. That about sums up Mitt in a word, no? That's what Ann says after sex.
Was this Latina she spied perhaps even…wise?
Big plus, she didn't wear a hoodie.
Peggy Noonan and her flowery pained descriptions reminds me of someone high on a triple dose of 50mg xanax.
I remember her comment about Bush after he invaded Iraq, "I can hear the chink of his armor…"
Excuse me while I projectile vomit.
There I feel better.
When a chair gets more press than your nominee… adequate wouldn't be the word I would use.
Given it's Dame Noonington and the GOP would incontinent be closer?
Empty chair, empty suit. If the Mitt fits, wear it.
To be fair, the chair really held up well under that barrage of criticism.
The Republicans denied our Lady her longed for reunion with her soul mate. Alas, there would be no Reagan hologramington fapington.
Riiiiiiiight. You've never even seen that movie have you punk? I mean Peg.
You have to know how to translate Noonespeake. Based on her hot-mic comments in years past, that column is basically saying "God damn the Republican Party."
Duly noted.
I'm still wondering why that's such a fave — basically Harry was saying to the guy robbing the fast-food joint, "Go on, kill the hostage, 'cause then I can get a clear shot at you." Not to mention how an arenafull of people cheering a fictional character and his made-up tough-guy blather really makes the GOP look rooted in reality.
Jim, you have no idea how much I needed that. Bless you, kind sir. Bless you.
Joustbusters?
I bet old Rupert has sniffed at the Nooning-panties in his time….
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume she doesn't own any "Papa" Lalo Guerrero records.
For your Friday afternoon listening pleasure, here's Papa performing his classic parody, "Tacos For Two." Diviértate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgBKPhsNcPQ
Fresco!!!!!
Our Lady Noonington is a loonington.
You know who else was a no-nonsense latina?
Rosario Salazar?
Rosie Ruiz?
Lolita Lebron?
Lucille Ball? No, wait….
Evita Peron?
This lady?
Noonington's housekeeper?
Carmen Miranda?
No-nonsense, not all-nonsense.
Hitler?
Shakira?
People's Court judge Marilyn Milian? I love that woman.
Virginia Rodrigues?
In honor of tonight's Blue Moon, here is her version of "Lua Lua Lua": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sycziEJpdfM
Jimmy Smits?
Marie Antoinette?
(Technically, the French are Latinos…)
I thought Marie was Austrian.
I remember the first time I saweth a Mexican also, indeed. Que magica!
"the no-nonsense Latina…"
I see what she did there… dogwhistle "wise Latiina"
Old Clint, just Republican enough to get invited to all the really good golf tournaments, and by good we mean all expenses paid and a free ride on somebodies Citation to and from.
"In my excitement, I could barely resist the urge to run up to Gov. Martinez and ask if she did windows, cheap."
Oh, sweet Peggles – so glad the gin and xanax is holding you together, Dear Girl!
Does Dame Peggy put on her best leather bodysuit when the Noog comes callin'?
Daresay but vulgar nyte with Penif Throbbington & requisite saltee elixir to metamorphose yon Dame to Moll!
Bully the Notion!
Beere Gogglef Huzza!!!
OT alert:
Paul Ryan’s Black Ex-Girlfriend Is an Obama Supporter
http://jezebel.com/5939600/paul-ryans-black-ex+gi…
Hee hee hee…
That her name is Pope makes the irony even sweeter.
You know, in a lot of ways Ryan does seem to be a personally decent fellow. And he is a Packer fan.
Shame about him being such a lying fuckweasel.
Of course she is. And, not because she's black, but because I'd imagine that any intimiate encounter with Paul the Ryan would be enough to make you switch teams.
On Labor Day, with Nikki Haley's reflexive contempt for organized labor still ringing in our ears, let's take a minute to remember and be thankful for the workers who got their heads cracked and got replaced by scabs and who got murdered so egregiously by Rockefeller's Pinkerton henchmen in Ludlow, CO, that they had to rename the town.
We're grateful to them for Saturdays off, for employer-paid health insurance, the minimum wage and a hundred other employee rights and privileges that had to be fought for even though we now take them for granted.
John Sayles' excellent movie "Matewan" is a nice yarn on this subject. Hard to forget James Earl Jones saying "They call me 'Few Clothes.'"
Or read E.L. Doctorow's Loon Lake, a difficult, beautiful novel about the Ludlow Massacre.
Yes, oh yes. The forty year relentless assault on the Labor movement in this country has been largely successful. This holiday is reduced to a place holder for the end of summer, or worse yet, a easy to dump some mattresses cheap.
Where is Ken Layne?
Sayles' almost unknown 1999 flick Limbo was way ahead of its time in showing the many sordid hypocrisies of politics and business in Alaska,and by extension the rest of the country (and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio sings like a lark). It also has one of my all-time favorite movie endings. Man, that guy can write. Unlike another politically-minded filmmaker, Ken Loach, Sayles is rarely boring and knows how to spin a yarn. (For instance, in "The Wind That Shakes the Barley" Loach somehow discovered a way to make the Irish Civil War seem as dull as a sack of flattened turnips; a rare accomplishment indeed, though not a commendable one.)
Growing up in Massachusetts in a union family that was obsessed with history and had seen a good deal of it firsthand, I would hear tragic tales about Ludlow late at night at the kitchen table (I can still smell the pickles, clams and stout), and thought they were talking about Ludlow, Mass. Later, I learned the difference, and as I learned more discovered there really wasn't that much difference. One place had mines, the other had mills.
Thanks for the reminder, Lot 49. My union is making calls for Liz Warren all day Monday. To be followed by beer. Will remember Ludlow with a toast or five.
You're welcome. Good to read the Wikipedia article to correct the things I ryanated about in recalling Ludlow.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_Massacre
"Loon Lake" is a beautiful piece of work.
Ha! Good on you.
There's obviously some nationwide effort going on as well. Here in California I got a Liz Warren flier in which she included Scott Brown's fundraising letter. The gist was "look what this halfwit is saying. are you going to let this truckdouche get away with it? donate now!"
I'm not sure Im allowed to donate as a mere perm resident, but damn I hope she wins that race. I love her.
I'm glad to hear that! She's fabulous, and get's great big points for visiting lots of the smaller ward committees across the state (mine happens to be a big pinko lefty ward in Boston but she really has made a point of reaching the committees that are three people meeting in a dairy barn). Truckdouche is such a good appellation for that trite asshat. He's is soaking up the bucks, though, and the Warren is behind.
*cough* Permanent residents can donate. Not that I'm asking…
And you know what's weird? I cannot actually ask you to donate. As a federal employee, I violate the Hatch Act if I ask you to donate to a political campaign. Even anonymously. But if you feeeeeel like donating, without me asking, I'll just leave this on your coffee table… https://donate.elizabethwarren.com/page/contribut…
I'm not a Federal employee, so I can ask Fukui (and all Wonkers) to donate, as I will do. We really can't afford to lose this one.
Wowzer! Totally unrelated to your advice I decided to kick in a couple of bucks for Ms. Warren.
Damn, if I'd known this earlier I'd have kicked in for that Scott "squinty-eyed weasel" Walker recall thing as well.
It's kinda fucked up that I can donate without even being able to vote.
8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep and 8 hours for what thou wilt. People died, as did Blacks for the right to vote, in the streets for these signs of a decent, human life. So many of our fellow toilers have forgotten that, that they may well vote it all away in November, as increasing numbers have in Novembers past. Damn Citizens United, their billionaires want to buy the government, ours want to cure Malaria. Better angels of our nature and all that, but their billionaires seem to be closet fascists.
OT: Great exchange from today's "Hardball," a Republican strategist trying to pass off Paul Ryan's lies as differences of opinion and Tweety ain't havin' it. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036697/#48865455
Tonight is a Blue Moon, so here are the Marcels. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0fy1HeJv80
In return, here's the Romney Boys. Not a fair trade, I admit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6encQRlFBm4&fe…
Holy fuckin' balls.
My rule of thumb is that if a person uses the word, "Perp" they're probably a dick.
Ah Madame Noonington returneth. Time at last for that long lost drinketh.
watertiger reports on a new meme
http://www.dependablerenegade.com/dependable_rene…
lotsa chairs………
https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&…
"Hey you kids, get off my Eames!"
Yes. Thank you.
Peggy; such a normal, down to earth American name for such a pretentious, drunken old twat. It just doesn't seem fair.
If it makes you feel any better, ttommy, her birth name was Mergatroid.
Makes perfect sense to me.Sent from my iPhone
Thou blatherest a million points of spite. How darest thou impugn Peggy No one?
Documentary evidence of Peggy Noonan giving Ronny Raygun a handjob… http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e…
She was so easily impressed. Empty vessel finds purpose by meeting an empty vessel.
I wish Mitt a long life, but no Presidency for you, Sir! And on the sad occasion of his passing, verily these words should be engraved upon his stone: "He achieved adequacy"
perhaps proceeded by the phrase "Born on third and a half base…".
Jim, this is why I'm glad you're back. "Peggy Noonan Saw a Mexican" is the one post I remember most of all from these Wonkettes. 'Twas a tour de force, James DeRouge. Continue the traditions.
New Mexico, better than the old one. Huzzah!
It has someone else's name on the byline?
http://wonkette.com/275831/peggy-noonan-saw-a-mex…
I realize it was Ken; I'm just glad for the resurrection of the snark. Were it not for Jim, the meme would have died.
This has been one of those weeks where every single article about someone at the convention could have just used Kirk Lazurus' advice to Tugg Speedman on winning Oscars.
Anyone know who's speaking at the convention tonight? It's almost as if the leftist media is conspiring to hide the fact that it's happening.
http://remodelista.com/img/sub/uimg//02-2011/ikea…
Ron Paul/A Klondike Bar Just Found In The Back Of The Freezer 2012!
I was trying to make a ' Santa Cruz pepper-spray cop spraying the chair' p-shop with some open-source ware I just downloaded, but am not doing so well……
other ideas were:
pancakehead bunny w/chair
startled prairie dog / chair
pancakehead bunny
OOLONG / CHAIR 2012
BTW, she's not confusing Olivia Benson of Law & Order: SVU for being hispanic, is she?
That, or she's fantasizing about Olivia Munn in a gorilla costume driving an SUV at 300 mph into her kitchen while she's cutting the crust off a tuna salad sandwich, because she's feeling overly guilty about putting too much mayo in it and her grandkids are going to be furious and they hate her already because the Xboxes she gave them for Xmas were last gen and Kissinger doesn't return her calls since she got all flabby, so why not end it all now?!!
It's Friday night and what goes with Friday night? Liverpool's own The Liverbirds, that's what! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gEYF-IyaU0
Bill Maher just made Dinesh D'Souza look like an asshole on Real Time.
Someone has to try to do this?
If Maher managed make him look like a complete moron, then he's going to have an awful time if he goes on Colbert or the Daily Show.
True that.
Haha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Maher is a pseudo-intellectual fuckhammer.
Bill is cool and all, but his grasp on important issues is on par with the girls from The View.
D'Souza is a low rent Thomas Sowell, the latter of which hasn't been able to pay his rent since the Heritage Foundation lost his mailing address.
The ex-Mormon guy Maher had on was very interesting and funny. In what has to be a first, Maher let him say more than two sentences without interruption.
Btw, where did Jason Alexander get Tyrone Powers' toupee, at a Christie's auction?
Thank you for reminding me where I'd seen George with a hairy bonce before.
Pardon the name droppings, but I met the dilapitated Mr. Alexander (along with his friend Penn Jillette, who can't palm a card to save his Libertarian ass) at a charity event a few years ago and he was a nice guy who actually seemed to give a shit about the cause that was the reason for being there (or maybe he was just trying to impress my bitchin' wife, which is always a smart idea), unlike some others I could name. Yeah, I'm talking about you, Lawrence La De Dah Fishburne, you shallow schmuck.
How can you be the guy who played George Costanza and not be a decent human being?
Something else cool about the show.
Bill held up an old, Osmonds album, called, "The Plan"
This ain't any ol' dumb Osmonds Album…This is THE Osmonds Album you should hear because it is so weird. I haz it!. Rumor has it that recording this special, originally released on, "Kolob Records" Masterpiece, relieved them of doing Missionary work. I guess you could call it a Mormon Conceptual piece.
Here's a bit on it. http://www.allmusic.com/album/the-plan-mw00000156…
OT: Oh noes! The RNC conference bump is in on 538.
Currently sitting at +6.9 since Aug 24th.
For Obama.
Now that's what I call a terrorist bump in the polls!
To borrow a phrase, "It was one of the rare moments I was proud of America". Here Comes Honey Boo Boo beat out the convention in ratings.
And yet, Honey Boo Boo doesn't give a shit.
"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", indeed. The name of the show finally makes sense. lol
Wait, the new, fresh, young, nice guy Republitard Party isn't playing out?
YOUNG GUNS!!! (Average age 105)
That name screams out: "I got my ass kicked every single day when I was in high school."
Tom Friedman is on Charlie Rose right now explaining how if Dubya hadn't invaded Iraq, Iraq would now look like "Syria on steroids." And the US took the full blow of the chaos it had created, thereby saving the Middle East from the resulting madness that resulted from their invading Iraq and causing regional instability. I swear this is a faithful rendition of his two points.
The Moustache has long since passed into Crankypants McCain territory. They have him on talk shows because he's there, not because anybody is paying any attention to what he says. If he recited Vogon poetry, would anyone notice the difference?
Tom Friedman is a spazmonkey if he says that. Although I'm aware I'm preaching to the choir here.
Fuck me, he went to St Antony's? Fucker should be embarrassed by himself.
The situation in Syria is the direct result of the Bush administration sticking their noses in Georgia. If Russia were still onside, Assad would be in Iran or Venezuela scared for his life right now. By the way, Bush stayed in Beijing when Russia was bombing the shit out of military installations in Georgia. Putin headed back home and took care of his shit.
I can never take him seriously after reading Taibbi's infamous takedown of Friedman.
A classic, that I read from time to time, like a mother reading Cat in the Hat http://nypress.com/flat-n-all-that/
Also good on The Mustache of Understanding:
http://wonkette.com/412915/tom-friedman-talking-d…
Also good on The Mustache of Understanding:
http://wonkette.com/412915/tom-friedman-talking-d…
I'll have what she's having.
Is it too late for sushi delivery?
She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”
You have to admit, a Republican Convention would be fertile territory for someone like that. Wrap up all those pesky unsolved cases.
Sure, Mexicans do speak. But you won't understand a word, because the music is too loud.//rimshot
// tejano accordion
//tejano trumpets. Tambien.
My cudoes to the empty chair for its performance in this humaodrama.
Oh, huzzah and hallelujah for the return of her ladyship Noonington! 'Struth.
I've always had the hots for Peggy Noonan. Somehow, being her slave would just feel right.
Needf more "f" inftead of "s".
Oh! How I've missed Dame Nooners' columns on the Wonkett.
I do believe that Blingee was the very first Blingee in Wonkette history.
Bull Daggers…..
Butterstick was a serious heartthrob for the Wonkette foundress Ana Marie Cox.
Oh OK Awwwww Butterstick. I remember watching the Panda Cam.
She liked Butterstick for the buttsechs.
Sadly, voting with bucks may actually have a bigger impact than poking a chad.
On a happier note, if you ever opt to become a victim of US domestic policy instead of a victim of US foreign policy, therfore gaining the right to vote in these parts, I got your back. Will give you my email address & answer any questions I can.
And bless you, bobbert. Thanks! We need her desperately.
I donated a few months back, but am now too tight on funds to donate more. So I'll join you in asking the Wonkettariat to chip in some moolah for this fabulous candidate. Also including an ActBlue linky for those who have (or want to have) an ActBlue account: https://secure.actblue.com/entity/fundraiser/2766…
I sure hope to be able to help fund her presidential campaign in 2016!
Actors are like everyone else: schlubs trying to make a living, the only difference being they have an extra jazz hands chromosome.
Except for that Bill Nighy guy — he's just plain weird.
Warren 2016?
Holy cow. That would be beyond wonderful.
I appreciate the offer and might take you up on that.
However, I've been following US politics since, hmmm, 1997 or so when I was a wee nipper of 24. Far more involved when I started posting on the messageboard of fuckedcompany.com in 2000 whilst the run-up to November 2000 was going on. Personally, I was stunned by the virulence and idiocy of the right wing, and could not believe that anyone could vote for that shaven chimp Bush. Gosh, was I wrong.
The other thing that stunned me was the racism and anti-semitism, especially the anti-semitism. I'd never questioned the holocaust and, being an intellectually curious chap, when someone linked to the Leuchter Report it made me perform research. Then more research. Then more. Now I know far too much about WW2 history, but give me a holocaust-denier and I can destroy them in seconds.
Meh, enough rambling.
Obama must win this election. It's very, very important. Plus the Democrats must keep their Senate majority … hence my contribution to Ms Warren's campaign.
You mean Bill Nighy the "Todd-Akin-is-a-fucking-idiot science guy?"
I agree on all counts. Especially about the acceptance of irrational, falsifiable "facts" and "philosophies."
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