PEGGY'S WORLD  4:20 pm August 31, 2012

Peggy Noonan Saw a (New) Mexican (Governor)

by Jim Newell

Greeteries, subjects. It is I, thy lord Mme. HRH Miss Peggington Noonington, queene word-smither of thine Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, and good heavens, the thingingtons that I Hath Seen in Tampa, polis of knaves and Deville Rays. Myne dispatchery hath been postington’d on the vulgarian electrico-blogge, vulgarly titled “Peggy Noonan’s Opinion Blog,” that mine Editors hath force upponeth Mee, for the increasery of Companie Revenues. I want-ingshire nothing of this robotico insta-sorcery; it is Beneathe Mee. Goode Heavens! Onwarding, then, to this se’en-day’s Declarations, myne column of souls. Dost thou rememberest, slave, the time that I eyed the visage of a Mexican? (This one time, I, Peggy Noonan, saweth a Mexican.) Now, a second sighting: I hath seen another Mexican, a “Susana Martinez,” Lord-Regent of the “New” Mexico territory. She resembleth a Mexican, from the Television drameries I vieweth in myne New-Amdersdamme skypod, on drugs.

New Mexico Gov. Susan Martinez was a revelation. I’d never seen her speak. She came across as tough, funny, able, smart. She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”—the no-nonsense Latina who tells the detectives to make the call and get the perp.

And Noweth I shall velocitate by Motor-Steed to Charlotte, in thine Carolinas, to vieweth the Africkan, &c.

[WSJ via Gawker]

 
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{ 317 comments }

anniegetyerfun August 31, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Did she mention that the Governor is brown? That's the crucial bit of info to get across.

Antispandex August 31, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Brown AND a conservative. The exacta of winning!

AncienReggie August 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

She ain't very brown. She is very Republican, though. One of those dump public payroll/cut corporate taxes kinda governors.

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 4:24 pm

These New World creatures! How mysterious!

RadioBowels August 31, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Consider thee: perhaps, even more perverse, a Spaniard?

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 8:58 pm

A Spaniard! Nay, tis that more loathsome countryman who steeleth across the fair waters betwixt Our States and the Southern lands. 'Tis the beast with wet back.

MilwaukeeKent August 31, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Verily, our tawny brethren.

kittensdontlie August 31, 2012 at 7:53 pm

The Esquimaux
Dost think of snow,
More than I care to know.
His icy hut
dost not stop one to seek,
a tender kiss to the cheek.
And when I meet one out on the street,
dost mine heart go skip a beat.

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Oh Praise Jesus!! Who got you drunk enough to finally do it again?!

Jim Newell August 31, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I get myself plenty drunk enough, thank you very much. One day I'll have enough amphetamine/sleeplessness to do an extended one.

iTuna August 31, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Please do! I've missed that particular blingee.

DaveJ August 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Hook us up with a Blingee contest, and it's all gravy.

MommysFetusJar August 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Gawd this made my weekend. HOW I HAVE MISSED THIS BLINGEE (and these weekly missives from Ms.Noonington). I love it when Peggington spies us brownz out in the Real World. I half expect her to tag and release us so that she might tracketh our comings and goings for her amuuuuusement. Thanks, Newell.

miss_grundy September 1, 2012 at 12:26 am

Does this woman every hit the sidewalks of New York because you can see every kind of creature if you would only walk down on Broadway.

HereKitty September 1, 2012 at 8:41 am

Oh, like she would be caught dead on the West Side.

vulpes82 August 31, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Some Crystalle Methe for Master Newelle!

Arborista August 31, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Is there a PayPal button yet? Or an Indiegogo fundraiser?

Boojum August 31, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Her Gratefulle Subjects extend Felicitations and Thankfullenesses for bringething back Ye Dayyes of Glorye.

Limeylizzie August 31, 2012 at 6:56 pm

We all miss Dame Peggy , as massaged by Jim Newell.

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Ew. You'd wish that on Jim?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 31, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I doth sayeth, I doff my hat to thee! 'twas verily a toure-defource for thine deare, deare Peggingsworth! Pray excuse, I require au monocole, excelsior!

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Oh Priabus Jaysus?

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 1, 2012 at 4:59 am

Isn't that the head of the GOP?

IncenseDebate September 1, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I have been waiting for this for a long time. Please do more sooneth!

bumfug August 31, 2012 at 4:25 pm

"She's so well-spoken she must be a character from popular fiction."

OneDollarJuana August 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I seem to remember another right-winger who confused a TV character with a real person.

Butch_Wagstaff August 31, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Ah, good times.

bikerlaureate September 1, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Came for a link to Jack Bauer's Wiki page, left disappointed.

mrpuma2u August 31, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Well no REAL messican could be that erudite, right Pegs? Ugh what an arrogant elitist turd that woman is.

WABishop September 1, 2012 at 12:39 pm

She's the King's Hand, despite being a wench.

Baconzgood August 31, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Whhhha?

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 31, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I don't think people really talk like that.

Arborista August 31, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Is it not Happy Hour in your time zone yet?

Callyson August 31, 2012 at 6:53 pm

67 more minutes for the Left Coast. Not sure I can live that long…

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 8:26 pm

I've taken advantage of the retiree (aka unemployed guy) time zone exemption, myself.

el_donaldo August 31, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Who is the detective supposed to call?

docterry6973 August 31, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Did Gov. Martinez insult Custer again? 'Cause I won't stand for it!

edgydrifter August 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Dame Noonington also believes bearded men to be werewolves. Or Amish.

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Amish werewolves would make for an awesome Twilight knock-off.

HistoriCat September 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Genius. Now all we need is a great title.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 1, 2012 at 5:03 am

There's a difference?

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Perhaps next she can meet Pat Buchanan, who's like an avuncular Irish barkeep from a primetime sit-com. Or she could meet Michael Steele, who is like a negro.

Antispandex August 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm

The old school "know your place" negro, or the "uppity" kind?

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Oh, I think she'd cast Mr. Steele as the Norman Lear dramady "Let's All Be Friends Here" Lamont from Sanford & Son kind.

Arborista August 31, 2012 at 11:02 pm

So more like Uncle Ben than Uncle Tom?

bibliotequetress September 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Bingo!

iamrrm August 31, 2012 at 5:09 pm

The operative word being "like".

Self-Uploader August 31, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I think she thought Michael Steele was one of the good ones, but turned, as happens sometimes with slaves after masa sells them down the river.

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Or she could meet Michael Steele, who is like a negro.

Oh, snap! Shit just got real.

bobbert September 1, 2012 at 12:09 am

That is, truly, one of the best turns of phrase I've seen in a long. long time. I'm tempted to create puppets just to give you more upfisties.

Antispandex August 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

"CSI Childs Victim Unit", just to let us know that she doesn't waste her time on the vulgar preoccupations of the lower classes, like watching television. What a bitch. Go back to wrtitng stuff for that fish wrapper you work for, while people still read "the papers".

Jim Newell August 31, 2012 at 4:27 pm

This post is a great way to tell how long commenters have been around.

Mumbletypeg August 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I keep having to shake my head vigorously, and blink a couple of times at the screen, when I see "No WIre Hangers" popping up. Like being transported back in time.

freakishlywrong August 31, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Word. Mumblety.

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I honestly thought it was a glitch until I read the title after having saw the graphic. lol I thought Wonkette had gone back in time.

IncenseDebate September 1, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I lurkethed many a fortnight before venturing a comment because of lazy.

SmutBoffin August 31, 2012 at 5:11 pm

NEXT LETS GET A BUTTERSTICK UPDATE

iTuna August 31, 2012 at 5:13 pm

YES

IceCreamEmpress August 31, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Butterstick, we hardly knew ye!

weejee August 31, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Butterstick is assembling IPhonz in Zhengzhou Technology Park, PRC.

TootsStansbury August 31, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I've been reading since at least the latter part of the Noonington Era. Alas, I am not familiar with Butterstick. I found the reason the Noonington posts abated to be highly amusing.

mayor_quimby August 31, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Mittens will declare trade war on China and send seal team six to rescue Butterstick. the stick is an American citizen after all, we can't stand for this chicom tyranny.

FlyOverGirl September 1, 2012 at 2:03 am

Butterstick libel!

WhatTheHeck August 31, 2012 at 5:19 pm

When did the Noonington fall out of favor from the Wonket?
Those were great posts to brush up on me olde english as spoke at the court of anglo saxony. It be goode to see Jim lad bringeth her back. Thank you and all the breast to you.

Generation[redacted] August 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Needz moar LNS

Toomush_Infer August 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Long enough to bemoan several changes to the Wonkette logo…..

Lascauxcaveman August 31, 2012 at 6:37 pm

And we ain't seen Jessica Cultler's tits around here in a coon's age.

Boojum August 31, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Jessica is now married, with two children, and has moved far away from the Land of Sin. More's the pity, but her kids are darling.

RadioBowels August 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Needs moar skoalrebel.

slowhansolo August 31, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Yeah, well, Pareene never thought of this particular convention. Nor did we all, forsooth.

rocktonsam August 31, 2012 at 8:11 pm

drinky drinky nooninghamshire

DWW August 31, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Sara K Smith guest post time.

ChernobylSoup September 1, 2012 at 9:36 am

Retro Wonkette Days, every Thursday. Ladies Drink half price. Must be 31 or older to enter.

sudsmckenzie August 31, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I’m not familiar with what I all wrote, but I stand by what I wrote, whatever it was.

Lionel[redacted]Esq September 1, 2012 at 5:20 am

Was Dame Noonington's first Wonkette column before or after Ms. Noonan gave Wonkette a shout out?

WestSayid September 1, 2012 at 7:00 am

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe… Cocktober off the shoulder of Orion. Buttersticks glittering in the darkness. Wonkette breaking the story on Sarah Palin, America's Hottest Governor. Walnuts. All these moments, lost in time, like tears in the rain.

fuflans September 2, 2012 at 11:32 pm

or dust in the wind.

MLHencken September 1, 2012 at 11:47 am

A little late to the party, but: yes, today we are all Dame Peggy's terrible, wicked children.

fuflans September 2, 2012 at 11:32 pm

i believe we were the dizzy children.

PuckStopsHere September 1, 2012 at 12:47 pm

This, and Get Your War On returns. While these two welcome developments may not make this the greatest weekend ever, it is certainly the best on in a long time!

fuflans September 2, 2012 at 11:35 pm

a really long fucking time.

i hope you're happy jim and please keep dame peggy happy, sedated and posting at wonkette.

SorosBot August 31, 2012 at 4:28 pm

So how drunk did Noonan get watching the convention?

freakishlywrong August 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Probably more than I. But only.

Katydid August 31, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Well, since she probably didn't start from sober, there's no way of telling.

MissTaken August 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Enough to see a Mexican and forget that she's already seen one before.

SorosBot August 31, 2012 at 4:49 pm

And that was a true classic. I hadn't even realized how long ago that was; it was right after I had graduated law school, I remembered it as being more recent.

MissTaken August 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

It's because the martini vapors from our Dame Nooningtonshire on high seep through Jim's columns and muddle our brains making us forget how long she has blessed us.

Lascauxcaveman August 31, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Credit where it it's due: Ken Layne wrote the original Peggy Saw A Mexican post. Jimmy took over the Peggy Noonan beat shortly thereafter.

Toomush_Infer August 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Noonily….

slowhansolo August 31, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Verily, the (overwrought, meaningless) words fail.

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Does "All of them, Katie" in slurring speech work as an answer for this question, because…All of them, Katie. Too.

Designer_Rants August 31, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Yes, I've been waiting for this Jim.

metamarcisf August 31, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Gov. Martinez will continue to be a shining star for the GOP here in NM; until she is ordered by the national party to crack down on public pensions – the third rail of New Mexico politics. If she goes along with a Walker-type agenda, she'll be out of the Roundhouse like shit through a goose.

Blueb4sinrise August 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

YAHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Callyson August 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

On the floor, the delegate seats had too much space between them, which removed the kind of animal density that speakers in big halls need.

Oh, I think you animals were plenty dense, Peggy…

James Michael Curley September 1, 2012 at 3:52 pm

The space between the seats were for the 'saddlebags'

spends2much August 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

"Tough, Funny, Able, Smart." Good enough, even, to do yard work for Lady Peggington!

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Wow, just read Her Ladyship's column. Can you imagine how high on laudanum and absinthe Dame Noonington must have been all week to have seen that convention?!

PsycWench August 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

But did she note how well behaved the Governor was in Sylvia's restaurant in Harlem?

SayItWithWookies August 31, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Bring me a motherfucking tax cut!

vulpes82 August 31, 2012 at 5:21 pm

"Where's my madrefucking iced tea, esse?!"

freakishlywrong August 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Noonington! Fuckyounington!

Buzz Feedback August 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm

"no-nonsense Latina" = Dora the Explorer. Always bossing that monkey around.

CthuNHu August 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Verily, had she been a mite comelier, and many a mite more eloquent, she might have been comparable unto me, in my salad days, when I was green, yet not tinged thusly from a misfortunate admixture of Vicodin and Bombay Sapphire, as at present. To the chaise lounge, I go, perchance to regurgitate, which a trusty servant shall collect into an urn purchased long ago from the Orient, to be submitted as mine next columnary literary writing oeuvre item.

DaveJ August 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Finally, Jim Newell demonstrates that you CAN do something with a liberal arts degree in this day and age.

Not_So_Much August 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Hark and forsooth! I spot-eth a twat-eth!

Callyson August 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

we are about to find out whether this year is 1976 or 1980—if what we have just witnessed is a harbinger of change, or the change itself.
We'll know in 9½ weeks

Oh good–I'm glad to know I am not the only one who thinks this election has been one long S&M session…

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Who could she compare to pre-plastic Mickey Rourke?

tihond August 31, 2012 at 5:13 pm

50 Shades of Meh

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Is she trying to tell us she was fucked by an Incubus during Romney's speech?

BlueStateLibel August 31, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Sounds about like 1673 if you ask me, or in Republican-language, the good old days.

Boojum August 31, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Or 1692, seeing how Mitt's from Massachusetts.

fuflans September 2, 2012 at 11:38 pm

i don't know. if i had to compare this season to a mickey rourke movie i'd go with angel heart.

or barfly.

Wilcoxyz August 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

This is bad news for Charo.

SexySmurf August 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”—the no-nonsense Latina who tells the detectives to make the call and get the perp.

First they take fake jobs at Epcot away from Americans and now they're taking our make-believe prosecutor jobs on made-up fictional TV shows.

MissTaken August 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”—the no-nonsense Latina who tells the detectives to make the call and get the perp.

Verity Peggington! For thou knoweth no Latina of intellect existeth for realith in the land except on thou Novella-On-The-Television.

SmutBoffin August 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

"Now allow me to relate thif amusing aneckdote, wherein Colonial Governor Viscount Ronald Reagan did commidst the highest act of japery, placing his dampened testiclef upon my brow!"

Toomush_Infer August 31, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Hey, where'd you get a roman a clef????….

Wadisay August 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

There was a day when one would have liked to have had sexual congrefs with her.

sudsmckenzie August 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

You could say Susan Martinez, made her day. *sunglasses* Whaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mumbletypeg August 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Oh Dame Peggy! There's a Mexican fellow down Epcot-way who could use a serving, maybe, of your pity! or of your… awe-struck'dness? Well just give him a little attention and some of that glowing glow of yours.

SheriffRoscoe August 31, 2012 at 4:35 pm

This post rocketh. As doth Lord Newell.

Lot_49 August 31, 2012 at 4:35 pm

"She's like the prosecutor in a show with a name like…"

How lazy or drunk do you have to be if you (1) are too lazy to Google the name of the show, or (2) think the name you made up is funny?

Baconzgood August 31, 2012 at 4:37 pm

HUZZAH!

MissTaken August 31, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I bow to our ginger Lord of the Exchequer, Newell.

SayItWithWookies August 31, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Dame Noonington made a critical and helpful adjustment by calling Governor Martinez "Susan." She's already got the Martinez part — sticking with Susanna as a first name is really just rubbing her hispanicness in the noses of all the nice white people this country really belongs to.

Sharkey August 31, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I would have went with "Suzy".

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Or as they pronounce it with the latina maids who work in Noonanshire Connecticut, "Suzita".

Designer_Rants August 31, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Hey, why is HamNo stealing your Nooningtonshire schtick? I thought you had an arrangement; you stay away from the Friedman jokes, he stays away from the Noonan jokes.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 6:31 pm

The major difference between the two, in my opinion, is that HamNo is an irritating, patronizing douchecanoe, whereas Newell is hilarious.

Designer_Rants August 31, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Jim: Gawker's loss, our gain.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Too damn right.

OkieDokieDog August 31, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I used to have a Motor-Steed. I called it Pinto. (also called a bump-and-burn)

WhatTheHeck August 31, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Why, an exploding gas tank was nothing back in the day. America was the shining city on the hill then. Or so I’m told.

Texan_Bulldog August 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Wait until the mouth breathers find out Martinez's grandparents were illegal immigrants. Not looking so good now, is she, HENGHHH??!!??!!!!

Biff August 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Wouldst nay hitteth that…

CapnFatback August 31, 2012 at 4:43 pm

It's about time, Jim–way to long since the last time you snuck us all a Nooner.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Is it legal to just repost Ms. Noonan's columns from the WSJ to Wonkette?

kittensdontlie August 31, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Seems like a legitimate question…so let's SHUT IT DOWN(before WSJ shuts us down)!!

Arborista August 31, 2012 at 11:27 pm

The body has a way to shut down the WSJ, but to do so, the body needs torches & pitchforks…

Or maybe just some help from Anonymous?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 31, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Jim, thank you. I can go to my long weekend and drink myself to a blackout content now.

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Come on, now, Lionel, you were going to do that, anyway. ;)

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Reading this made me think about Peggy Noonan, which reminded me of a question I've been meaning to ask the assembled MFAs of Wonkette, to wit:

Is the word "poltroon" gender-neutral, or is there a feminine form?

Arborista August 31, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Probably gender neutral, but I suppose if you wanted to stress that you are insulting a female, I don't see why you can't add an -ess to it, as in poetess, actress, seamtress, Jewess, etc.

bibliotequetress September 1, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Perhaps "poltang?"

freakishlywrong August 31, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Bitch is always breathless and concerned about "tone". Hope she doesn't read this.

Nothingisamiss August 31, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I hopeth she does.

mavenmaven August 31, 2012 at 4:47 pm

She likes no-nonsense Latinas on TV but not on the Supreme Court.

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 4:47 pm

"The delegates were full of cheer and happy. Condi Rice trembled, yet found her voice. I melted into Paul Ryan's eyes, and was content. Ann Romney was so pale, yet stout of face, radiant in her blinding blonde American-ness. Chris Christie spoke like the gruff but brave Brooklynite in some D-Day film, ready to give Hitler what-for. The Spanish Lady Governor of New Mexico reminded me of none so much as Rita Moreno, eyes flashing as she scolded Maria to 'stick to her own kind.' And finally Mitt. Handsome, aristocratic, capable and reproachful Mitt. 'You have exhausted us, Obama, with your Negritude,' he might as well have intoned. When Hope is an illusion, Change must come. And who is more nimble at Change than Willard Romney? Weeping, and holding myself with joy, until I awoke in a corner booth and hailed a passing bar-boy to help me find my room-key. Who has taken my undergarments?!"

TavariousChinaSmith August 31, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Oh, that was good! I haven't read the original yet. Did she fail to mention current cowboy-hero at the picture-shows and paragon of manliness and eloquence, Clintington Eastwoodshire?

imissopus August 31, 2012 at 5:15 pm

That wasn't the original?

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 5:18 pm

(We secretly replaced Peggy Noonan's column with scathing Wonkette derision…)

Veritas78 August 31, 2012 at 8:49 pm

You're soaking in it.

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Oh, bravo! You captured the Procul Harumness of her prose beautifully.

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 5:47 pm

And props to you for "Procul Harumness."

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Well played, sir, well played.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if we played this to the hilt, and actually got some Republican operative to hire us as speechwriters? Oh, the fun we'd have, the places we'd go. lol

Chet Kincaid_ September 1, 2012 at 1:08 am

Why, I would have to use my "white telephone voice" at all times!

Biff August 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Are we sure this was Noonington? Not a single mention of her patron saint…

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:27 pm

St. Johnnie Walker?

Oh, you meant Saint Ronnie of Simi.

Biff August 31, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I would have accepted either, but yes.

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Sorry, I thought that was Saint Ronnie of Batshit.

Mittens Howell, III August 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Peggy Noonan, Queen of the three martini snooze.

Goonemeritus August 31, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Just keep the Governor the hell away from the Epcot Center.

BlueStateLibel August 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Yeah, Her Ladyship is back! Also, is that how detectives work? They just make calls, and voila, find the perp? Who said there were no easy, well-paying jobs out there?

pdiddycornchips August 31, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Of course not. They can't make the calls until ordered to do so by a no nonsense Latino woman.

Arborista August 31, 2012 at 11:54 pm

They may be making calls, but that doesn't mean they're making social calls- or telephone calls…

SnarkOff August 31, 2012 at 4:54 pm

She came across as tough, funny, able, smart…the no-nonsense Latina…

Peggy, OH, NO YOU DI'INT.

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Bet Dame Noonington made a mess of her Depends watching Eastwood turn the last night of the RNC into a bad sitcom scene.

coolhandnuke August 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

She's losing the debate with that empty fifth.

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Fifths make fools of us, all.

OneYieldRegular August 31, 2012 at 5:00 pm

This reminds me of the time I spilled my gin and tonic while watching "Breaking Bad."

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 5:01 pm

"On the floor, the delegate seats had too much space between them, which removed the kind of animal density that speakers in big halls need."

Is that why those clowns had peanuts in hand?

BTWBFDIMHO August 31, 2012 at 5:03 pm

tough + funny + able + smart = Sofía Margarita Vergara – sexy.

SayItWithWookies August 31, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Nobody expected a great one. There was a broad feeling of, "Look, giving great speeches is not what Mitt does, he does other things."

He had to achieve adequacy. He did.

Wow — well, nobody can accuse Dame Peggy of adulatory praise for the main event. I'm looking forward to her open-mic description of her real opinion of the Mitt/Ryan ticket soon.

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Jeebuzz. Talk about giving the guy a gloved and limp wristed royal handshake.

pdiddycornchips August 31, 2012 at 5:28 pm

What could she say about HRM Mittington Lyington? That his plan is not to have a plan? That he would rather work the night shift at a Dunkin Donuts than explain how giving billionaires tax cuts while raising taxes on wage slaves will create jobs?

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Talk about damning with faint praise!

Also, too, "Look, giving great speeches is not what Mitt does, he does other things."

Like, um, lying, dissembling, prevarication and telling porkie pies?

Veritas78 August 31, 2012 at 8:54 pm

He had to achieve adequacy. He did.

Is this a review of how he fucks? "He managed to ejaculate in the right area."

So much for American exceptionalism. I'll take Obamadingo singing Al Green any day.

SayItWithWookies August 31, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I can see the campaign advertisement now: Troubled times call for an adequate man — Mitt Romney.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 10:52 pm

AN ADEQUATE MAN / GRANNY KILLER 2012!

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Talk about damning with faint praise. Yes, Mitt, that speech was just enough. It was…adequate. That about sums up Mitt in a word, no? That's what Ann says after sex.

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Was this Latina she spied perhaps even…wise?

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Big plus, she didn't wear a hoodie.

ahnc August 31, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Peggy Noonan and her flowery pained descriptions reminds me of someone high on a triple dose of 50mg xanax.
I remember her comment about Bush after he invaded Iraq, "I can hear the chink of his armor…"
Excuse me while I projectile vomit.
There I feel better.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 31, 2012 at 5:11 pm

When a chair gets more press than your nominee… adequate wouldn't be the word I would use.

weejee August 31, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Given it's Dame Noonington and the GOP would incontinent be closer?

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Empty chair, empty suit. If the Mitt fits, wear it.

HistoriCat September 1, 2012 at 4:01 pm

To be fair, the chair really held up well under that barrage of criticism.

pdiddycornchips August 31, 2012 at 5:14 pm

The Republicans denied our Lady her longed for reunion with her soul mate. Alas, there would be no Reagan hologramington fapington.

Sharkey August 31, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Clint Eastwood was funny, endearing—"Oprah was crying"—and carries his own kind of cultural authority. "It's time for somebody else to come along and solve the problem." He was free-form, interesting—you didn't quite know what was going to come next—strange and, in the end, kind of exhilarating. Talk about icons. The crowd yelling, "Make my day," was one of the great convention moments, ever.

Riiiiiiiight. You've never even seen that movie have you punk? I mean Peg.

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 6:02 pm

You have to know how to translate Noonespeake. Based on her hot-mic comments in years past, that column is basically saying "God damn the Republican Party."

Sharkey September 1, 2012 at 12:30 am

Duly noted.

SayItWithWookies August 31, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I'm still wondering why that's such a fave — basically Harry was saying to the guy robbing the fast-food joint, "Go on, kill the hostage, 'cause then I can get a clear shot at you." Not to mention how an arenafull of people cheering a fictional character and his made-up tough-guy blather really makes the GOP look rooted in reality.

vulpes82 August 31, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Jim, you have no idea how much I needed that. Bless you, kind sir. Bless you.

Arborista August 31, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Joustbusters?

randomsausage August 31, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I bet old Rupert has sniffed at the Nooning-panties in his time….

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume she doesn't own any "Papa" Lalo Guerrero records.

For your Friday afternoon listening pleasure, here's Papa performing his classic parody, "Tacos For Two." Diviértate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgBKPhsNcPQ

Blueb4sinrise August 31, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Fresco!!!!!

IceCreamEmpress August 31, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Our Lady Noonington is a loonington.

ElPinche August 31, 2012 at 5:44 pm

You know who else was a no-nonsense latina?

Mumbletypeg August 31, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Rosario Salazar?

Veritas78 August 31, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Rosie Ruiz?

horsedreamer_1 August 31, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Lolita Lebron?

SayItWithWookies August 31, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Lucille Ball? No, wait….

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Evita Peron?

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 6:28 pm
RadioBowels August 31, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Noonington's housekeeper?

dmnolan August 31, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Carmen Miranda?

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 8:23 pm

No-nonsense, not all-nonsense.

AutomaticPilot August 31, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Hitler?

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Shakira?

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:32 pm

People's Court judge Marilyn Milian? I love that woman.

Arborista September 1, 2012 at 12:21 am

Virginia Rodrigues?

In honor of tonight's Blue Moon, here is her version of "Lua Lua Lua": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sycziEJpdfM

ElPinche September 1, 2012 at 2:36 am

Jimmy Smits?

DahBoner September 1, 2012 at 11:25 am

Marie Antoinette?

(Technically, the French are Latinos…)

HistoriCat September 1, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I thought Marie was Austrian.

iburl August 31, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I remember the first time I saweth a Mexican also, indeed. Que magica!

LibertyLover August 31, 2012 at 5:59 pm

"the no-nonsense Latina…"

I see what she did there… dogwhistle "wise Latiina"

Pithaughn August 31, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Old Clint, just Republican enough to get invited to all the really good golf tournaments, and by good we mean all expenses paid and a free ride on somebodies Citation to and from.

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 6:38 pm

"In my excitement, I could barely resist the urge to run up to Gov. Martinez and ask if she did windows, cheap."

vaginista August 31, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Oh, sweet Peggles – so glad the gin and xanax is holding you together, Dear Girl!

weejee August 31, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Does Dame Peggy put on her best leather bodysuit when the Noog comes callin'?

BloviateMe August 31, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Daresay but vulgar nyte with Penif Throbbington & requisite saltee elixir to metamorphose yon Dame to Moll!

Bully the Notion!

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Beere Gogglef Huzza!!!

Callyson August 31, 2012 at 7:26 pm

OT alert:

Paul Ryan’s Black Ex-Girlfriend Is an Obama Supporter

http://jezebel.com/5939600/paul-ryans-black-ex+gi

Hee hee hee…

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 8:16 pm

That her name is Pope makes the irony even sweeter.

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 8:22 pm

You know, in a lot of ways Ryan does seem to be a personally decent fellow. And he is a Packer fan.

Shame about him being such a lying fuckweasel.

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Of course she is. And, not because she's black, but because I'd imagine that any intimiate encounter with Paul the Ryan would be enough to make you switch teams.

Lot_49 August 31, 2012 at 7:32 pm

On Labor Day, with Nikki Haley's reflexive contempt for organized labor still ringing in our ears, let's take a minute to remember and be thankful for the workers who got their heads cracked and got replaced by scabs and who got murdered so egregiously by Rockefeller's Pinkerton henchmen in Ludlow, CO, that they had to rename the town.

We're grateful to them for Saturdays off, for employer-paid health insurance, the minimum wage and a hundred other employee rights and privileges that had to be fought for even though we now take them for granted.

John Sayles' excellent movie "Matewan" is a nice yarn on this subject. Hard to forget James Earl Jones saying "They call me 'Few Clothes.'"

Or read E.L. Doctorow's Loon Lake, a difficult, beautiful novel about the Ludlow Massacre.

RadioBowels August 31, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Yes, oh yes. The forty year relentless assault on the Labor movement in this country has been largely successful. This holiday is reduced to a place holder for the end of summer, or worse yet, a easy to dump some mattresses cheap.
Where is Ken Layne?

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Sayles' almost unknown 1999 flick Limbo was way ahead of its time in showing the many sordid hypocrisies of politics and business in Alaska,and by extension the rest of the country (and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio sings like a lark). It also has one of my all-time favorite movie endings. Man, that guy can write. Unlike another politically-minded filmmaker, Ken Loach, Sayles is rarely boring and knows how to spin a yarn. (For instance, in "The Wind That Shakes the Barley" Loach somehow discovered a way to make the Irish Civil War seem as dull as a sack of flattened turnips; a rare accomplishment indeed, though not a commendable one.)

Growing up in Massachusetts in a union family that was obsessed with history and had seen a good deal of it firsthand, I would hear tragic tales about Ludlow late at night at the kitchen table (I can still smell the pickles, clams and stout), and thought they were talking about Ludlow, Mass. Later, I learned the difference, and as I learned more discovered there really wasn't that much difference. One place had mines, the other had mills.

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Thanks for the reminder, Lot 49. My union is making calls for Liz Warren all day Monday. To be followed by beer. Will remember Ludlow with a toast or five.

Lot_49 August 31, 2012 at 9:24 pm

You're welcome. Good to read the Wikipedia article to correct the things I ryanated about in recalling Ludlow.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_Massacre

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 9:42 pm

"Loon Lake" is a beautiful piece of work.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Ha! Good on you.

There's obviously some nationwide effort going on as well. Here in California I got a Liz Warren flier in which she included Scott Brown's fundraising letter. The gist was "look what this halfwit is saying. are you going to let this truckdouche get away with it? donate now!"

I'm not sure Im allowed to donate as a mere perm resident, but damn I hope she wins that race. I love her.

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I'm glad to hear that! She's fabulous, and get's great big points for visiting lots of the smaller ward committees across the state (mine happens to be a big pinko lefty ward in Boston but she really has made a point of reaching the committees that are three people meeting in a dairy barn). Truckdouche is such a good appellation for that trite asshat. He's is soaking up the bucks, though, and the Warren is behind.

*cough* Permanent residents can donate. Not that I'm asking…

And you know what's weird? I cannot actually ask you to donate. As a federal employee, I violate the Hatch Act if I ask you to donate to a political campaign. Even anonymously. But if you feeeeeel like donating, without me asking, I'll just leave this on your coffee table… https://donate.elizabethwarren.com/page/contribut

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I'm not a Federal employee, so I can ask Fukui (and all Wonkers) to donate, as I will do. We really can't afford to lose this one.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Wowzer! Totally unrelated to your advice I decided to kick in a couple of bucks for Ms. Warren.

Damn, if I'd known this earlier I'd have kicked in for that Scott "squinty-eyed weasel" Walker recall thing as well.

It's kinda fucked up that I can donate without even being able to vote.

MilwaukeeKent September 1, 2012 at 1:09 am

8 hours for work, 8 hours for sleep and 8 hours for what thou wilt. People died, as did Blacks for the right to vote, in the streets for these signs of a decent, human life. So many of our fellow toilers have forgotten that, that they may well vote it all away in November, as increasing numbers have in Novembers past. Damn Citizens United, their billionaires want to buy the government, ours want to cure Malaria. Better angels of our nature and all that, but their billionaires seem to be closet fascists.

BarackMyWorld August 31, 2012 at 8:09 pm

OT: Great exchange from today's "Hardball," a Republican strategist trying to pass off Paul Ryan's lies as differences of opinion and Tweety ain't havin' it. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036697/#48865455

Barrelhse August 31, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Tonight is a Blue Moon, so here are the Marcels. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0fy1HeJv80

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 8:49 pm

In return, here's the Romney Boys. Not a fair trade, I admit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6encQRlFBm4&fe

Barrelhse August 31, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Holy fuckin' balls.

DerrickWildcat August 31, 2012 at 8:20 pm

My rule of thumb is that if a person uses the word, "Perp" they're probably a dick.

bflrtsplk August 31, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Ah Madame Noonington returneth. Time at last for that long lost drinketh.

Blueb4sinrise August 31, 2012 at 8:45 pm

watertiger reports on a new meme
http://www.dependablerenegade.com/dependable_rene

lotsa chairs………
https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&…

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 9:51 pm

"Hey you kids, get off my Eames!"

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Yes. Thank you.

ttommyunger August 31, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Peggy; such a normal, down to earth American name for such a pretentious, drunken old twat. It just doesn't seem fair.

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 10:45 pm

If it makes you feel any better, ttommy, her birth name was Mergatroid.

ttommyunger August 31, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Makes perfect sense to me.Sent from my iPhone

mosjef August 31, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Thou blatherest a million points of spite. How darest thou impugn Peggy No one?

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Documentary evidence of Peggy Noonan giving Ronny Raygun a handjob… http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 11:04 pm

She was so easily impressed. Empty vessel finds purpose by meeting an empty vessel.

MilwaukeeKent August 31, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I wish Mitt a long life, but no Presidency for you, Sir! And on the sad occasion of his passing, verily these words should be engraved upon his stone: "He achieved adequacy"
perhaps proceeded by the phrase "Born on third and a half base…".

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Jim, this is why I'm glad you're back. "Peggy Noonan Saw a Mexican" is the one post I remember most of all from these Wonkettes. 'Twas a tour de force, James DeRouge. Continue the traditions.

New Mexico, better than the old one. Huzzah!

Arborista September 1, 2012 at 1:01 am

It has someone else's name on the byline?
http://wonkette.com/275831/peggy-noonan-saw-a-mex

Negropolis September 1, 2012 at 3:19 am

I realize it was Ken; I'm just glad for the resurrection of the snark. Were it not for Jim, the meme would have died.

Native_of_SL_UT August 31, 2012 at 10:07 pm

This has been one of those weeks where every single article about someone at the convention could have just used Kirk Lazurus' advice to Tugg Speedman on winning Oscars.

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Anyone know who's speaking at the convention tonight? It's almost as if the leftist media is conspiring to hide the fact that it's happening.

Blueb4sinrise August 31, 2012 at 10:14 pm
TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Ron Paul/A Klondike Bar Just Found In The Back Of The Freezer 2012!

Blueb4sinrise August 31, 2012 at 10:58 pm

I was trying to make a ' Santa Cruz pepper-spray cop spraying the chair' p-shop with some open-source ware I just downloaded, but am not doing so well……
other ideas were:
pancakehead bunny w/chair
startled prairie dog / chair

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 11:38 pm

pancakehead bunny

OOLONG / CHAIR 2012

Negropolis August 31, 2012 at 10:12 pm

BTW, she's not confusing Olivia Benson of Law & Order: SVU for being hispanic, is she?

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 10:32 pm

That, or she's fantasizing about Olivia Munn in a gorilla costume driving an SUV at 300 mph into her kitchen while she's cutting the crust off a tuna salad sandwich, because she's feeling overly guilty about putting too much mayo in it and her grandkids are going to be furious and they hate her already because the Xboxes she gave them for Xmas were last gen and Kissinger doesn't return her calls since she got all flabby, so why not end it all now?!!

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 11:00 pm

It's Friday night and what goes with Friday night? Liverpool's own The Liverbirds, that's what! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gEYF-IyaU0

BoroPrimorac August 31, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Bill Maher just made Dinesh D'Souza look like an asshole on Real Time.

bobbert August 31, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Someone has to try to do this?

BoroPrimorac August 31, 2012 at 11:46 pm

If Maher managed make him look like a complete moron, then he's going to have an awful time if he goes on Colbert or the Daily Show.

bobbert September 1, 2012 at 12:02 am

True that.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 1, 2012 at 12:36 am

Haha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Maher is a pseudo-intellectual fuckhammer.

BoroPrimorac September 1, 2012 at 12:56 am

Bill is cool and all, but his grasp on important issues is on par with the girls from The View.

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 11:19 pm

D'Souza is a low rent Thomas Sowell, the latter of which hasn't been able to pay his rent since the Heritage Foundation lost his mailing address.

The ex-Mormon guy Maher had on was very interesting and funny. In what has to be a first, Maher let him say more than two sentences without interruption.

Btw, where did Jason Alexander get Tyrone Powers' toupee, at a Christie's auction?

BoroPrimorac September 1, 2012 at 12:15 am

Thank you for reminding me where I'd seen George with a hairy bonce before.

TribecaMike September 1, 2012 at 12:36 am

Pardon the name droppings, but I met the dilapitated Mr. Alexander (along with his friend Penn Jillette, who can't palm a card to save his Libertarian ass) at a charity event a few years ago and he was a nice guy who actually seemed to give a shit about the cause that was the reason for being there (or maybe he was just trying to impress my bitchin' wife, which is always a smart idea), unlike some others I could name. Yeah, I'm talking about you, Lawrence La De Dah Fishburne, you shallow schmuck.

BoroPrimorac September 1, 2012 at 1:08 am

How can you be the guy who played George Costanza and not be a decent human being?

DerrickWildcat September 1, 2012 at 2:33 am

Something else cool about the show.
Bill held up an old, Osmonds album, called, "The Plan"
This ain't any ol' dumb Osmonds Album…This is THE Osmonds Album you should hear because it is so weird. I haz it!. Rumor has it that recording this special, originally released on, "Kolob Records" Masterpiece, relieved them of doing Missionary work. I guess you could call it a Mormon Conceptual piece.
Here's a bit on it. http://www.allmusic.com/album/the-plan-mw00000156

Fukui-sanYesOta August 31, 2012 at 11:29 pm

OT: Oh noes! The RNC conference bump is in on 538.

Currently sitting at +6.9 since Aug 24th.

For Obama.

TribecaMike August 31, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Now that's what I call a terrorist bump in the polls!

sudsmckenzie August 31, 2012 at 11:49 pm

To borrow a phrase, "It was one of the rare moments I was proud of America". Here Comes Honey Boo Boo beat out the convention in ratings.

Sharkey September 1, 2012 at 12:17 am

And yet, Honey Boo Boo doesn't give a shit.

Negropolis September 1, 2012 at 3:22 am

"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", indeed. The name of the show finally makes sense. lol

RadioBowels September 1, 2012 at 12:21 am

Wait, the new, fresh, young, nice guy Republitard Party isn't playing out?

bobbert September 1, 2012 at 12:37 am

YOUNG GUNS!!! (Average age 105)

BoroPrimorac September 1, 2012 at 1:12 am

That name screams out: "I got my ass kicked every single day when I was in high school."

SayItWithWookies September 1, 2012 at 12:22 am

Tom Friedman is on Charlie Rose right now explaining how if Dubya hadn't invaded Iraq, Iraq would now look like "Syria on steroids." And the US took the full blow of the chaos it had created, thereby saving the Middle East from the resulting madness that resulted from their invading Iraq and causing regional instability. I swear this is a faithful rendition of his two points.

bobbert September 1, 2012 at 12:36 am

The Moustache has long since passed into Crankypants McCain territory. They have him on talk shows because he's there, not because anybody is paying any attention to what he says. If he recited Vogon poetry, would anyone notice the difference?

Fukui-sanYesOta September 1, 2012 at 12:41 am

Tom Friedman is a spazmonkey if he says that. Although I'm aware I'm preaching to the choir here.

Fuck me, he went to St Antony's? Fucker should be embarrassed by himself.

BoroPrimorac September 1, 2012 at 1:44 am

The situation in Syria is the direct result of the Bush administration sticking their noses in Georgia. If Russia were still onside, Assad would be in Iran or Venezuela scared for his life right now. By the way, Bush stayed in Beijing when Russia was bombing the shit out of military installations in Georgia. Putin headed back home and took care of his shit.

ElPinche September 1, 2012 at 2:46 am

I can never take him seriously after reading Taibbi's infamous takedown of Friedman.

sudsmckenzie September 1, 2012 at 3:03 am

A classic, that I read from time to time, like a mother reading Cat in the Hat http://nypress.com/flat-n-all-that/

Lot_49 September 1, 2012 at 4:40 am

Also good on The Mustache of Understanding:
http://wonkette.com/412915/tom-friedman-talking-d

Lot_49 September 1, 2012 at 4:40 am

Also good on The Mustache of Understanding:
http://wonkette.com/412915/tom-friedman-talking-d

Sharkey September 1, 2012 at 12:34 am

I'll have what she's having.

TribecaMike September 1, 2012 at 1:18 am

Is it too late for sushi delivery?

Mahousu September 1, 2012 at 7:30 am

She’s like the prosecutor in a show with a name like “CSI: Child Victims Unit”

You have to admit, a Republican Convention would be fertile territory for someone like that. Wrap up all those pesky unsolved cases.

DahBoner September 1, 2012 at 8:09 am

Sure, Mexicans do speak. But you won't understand a word, because the music is too loud.//rimshot

ElPinche September 1, 2012 at 5:39 pm

// tejano accordion

Negropolis September 1, 2012 at 9:24 pm

//tejano trumpets. Tambien.

BenGleck September 1, 2012 at 11:58 am

My cudoes to the empty chair for its performance in this humaodrama.

Carrabuda September 1, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Oh, huzzah and hallelujah for the return of her ladyship Noonington! 'Struth.

fishwharf September 1, 2012 at 11:22 pm

I've always had the hots for Peggy Noonan. Somehow, being her slave would just feel right.

MosesInvests September 1, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Needf more "f" inftead of "s".

Tsunami Ali September 2, 2012 at 12:22 am

Oh! How I've missed Dame Nooners' columns on the Wonkett.

ElPinche September 2, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I do believe that Blingee was the very first Blingee in Wonkette history.

Tricky_Dick September 6, 2012 at 11:48 am

Bull Daggers…..

weejee August 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Butterstick was a serious heartthrob for the Wonkette foundress Ana Marie Cox.

TootsStansbury August 31, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Oh OK Awwwww Butterstick. I remember watching the Panda Cam.

Boojum August 31, 2012 at 9:04 pm

She liked Butterstick for the buttsechs.

bibliotequetress August 31, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Sadly, voting with bucks may actually have a bigger impact than poking a chad.
On a happier note, if you ever opt to become a victim of US domestic policy instead of a victim of US foreign policy, therfore gaining the right to vote in these parts, I got your back. Will give you my email address & answer any questions I can.
And bless you, bobbert. Thanks! We need her desperately.

Arborista September 1, 2012 at 12:52 am

I donated a few months back, but am now too tight on funds to donate more. So I'll join you in asking the Wonkettariat to chip in some moolah for this fabulous candidate. Also including an ActBlue linky for those who have (or want to have) an ActBlue account: https://secure.actblue.com/entity/fundraiser/2766

I sure hope to be able to help fund her presidential campaign in 2016!

TribecaMike September 1, 2012 at 1:24 am

Actors are like everyone else: schlubs trying to make a living, the only difference being they have an extra jazz hands chromosome.

Except for that Bill Nighy guy — he's just plain weird.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 1, 2012 at 2:58 am

Warren 2016?

Holy cow. That would be beyond wonderful.

Fukui-sanYesOta September 1, 2012 at 3:40 am

I appreciate the offer and might take you up on that.

However, I've been following US politics since, hmmm, 1997 or so when I was a wee nipper of 24. Far more involved when I started posting on the messageboard of fuckedcompany.com in 2000 whilst the run-up to November 2000 was going on. Personally, I was stunned by the virulence and idiocy of the right wing, and could not believe that anyone could vote for that shaven chimp Bush. Gosh, was I wrong.

The other thing that stunned me was the racism and anti-semitism, especially the anti-semitism. I'd never questioned the holocaust and, being an intellectually curious chap, when someone linked to the Leuchter Report it made me perform research. Then more research. Then more. Now I know far too much about WW2 history, but give me a holocaust-denier and I can destroy them in seconds.

Meh, enough rambling.

Obama must win this election. It's very, very important. Plus the Democrats must keep their Senate majority … hence my contribution to Ms Warren's campaign.

bobbert September 1, 2012 at 3:55 am

You mean Bill Nighy the "Todd-Akin-is-a-fucking-idiot science guy?"

bibliotequetress September 1, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I agree on all counts. Especially about the acceptance of irrational, falsifiable "facts" and "philosophies."

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