BRIEF INTERLUDES  2:00 pm August 31, 2012

A Brief Interlude From Today’s Joe Biden Pool Report

by Jim Newell

“Approaching a table of men he knew to be Greek, the VP said, ‘I’m Joe Bidenopoulos.’” [Politico]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 112 comments }

Limeylizzie August 31, 2012 at 2:02 pm

In Wales he would be Biden the Veep.

BTWBFDIMHO August 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Guy walks into a bar and hear two big women chatting with a Scottish accent, and said:
-Oh, the ladies of Scotland.
-Wales!
-Oh, the whales of Scotland.

Limeylizzie August 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

What's the difference between a Scotsman and Walt Disney? A Scotsman wears a kilt but Walt Dis Nae.

Self-Uploader August 31, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Funny, to my mom he was always Joe Bidenberg.

bumfug August 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Even worse was his follow-up, "By the way, good job with those fucking Armenians".

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Which really confused the Greeks, though the Turks were quite pleased with that response.

arihaya August 31, 2012 at 6:13 pm

because EVERYONE HATE the Kardashians

BoatOfVelociraptors August 31, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I am fairly certain you could find a few plastic surgeons that would be the exception to the rule.

NorthStarSpanx August 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

O'Biden to rill Amercia.

MLHencken August 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

“Let’s dance,” he said to one, named Jennifer, as she stood up right next to him. They posed for a photo before he turned to her tablemate, who was wearing scrubs, and asked, ‘Are you a nurse?” He then sat down and started speaking to her quietly, presumably about nurses.

Fucking Joe. Macking like crazy. We love you.

Terry August 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Don't we just. He's a goof, but he's smart and has a heart of gold.

bumfug August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

At least he was talking to someone who was actually in the chair.

Negropolis September 1, 2012 at 2:08 am

He's like a Catholic Clinton, this guy.

Blueb4sinrise August 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Asked for comment, Blueb4sinrise said, "Politico sucks ass."

MLHencken August 31, 2012 at 2:12 pm

You just made Mike Allen cry.

Like I give a shit.

emmelemm August 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

That's it, you're thrown out of the party.

LibertyLover August 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Well, expect to get kicked out of the Politico party at the Dem convention.

ChernobylSoup August 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Hey Eastwood – Biden is the intellectual face of the Democratic Party and we're fucking proud of it.

kittensdontlie August 31, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I'm only half Greek, but he has my whole vote.

IonaTrailer August 31, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Hey Eastwood, you're still the new face of the GOP. Weird and delusional.

1stNewtontheMoon August 31, 2012 at 2:48 pm

You forgot "old" though it's probably implied.

miss_grundy August 31, 2012 at 2:58 pm

You forgot demented but, perhaps. that is also implied. I guess he had trouble with the chair last night…

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

GWB would have said, "Greeks!?! Y'all wanna buttfuck?"

AbandonHope_ August 31, 2012 at 2:09 pm

"Ah hear y'all have big fat weddins. Saw a dakkament'ry 'bout it."

Gratuitous World August 31, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"Gonna call you, whatshisname, 'Socrates.' you, 'sodomy guy,' and this fella, i dunno, 'Butch.' always liked that name – Butch – heheheh"

IonaTrailer August 31, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Aristole, Aristole
Was a bugger for the bottle
"I drink, therefore I am."

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

"I'd try some of that oozoo stuff, or whatever you 'll call it, but then damn Barb would be all over my ass."

Boojum August 31, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Romney, of course, would have mentioned his friends who own Greece.

slowhansolo August 31, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Thanks, I needed that!

SorosBot August 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

And blessed is the Greek; apparently he's going to inherit the Earth.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Did anyone catch his name?

boobookitteh August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

George.

Doktor Zoom August 31, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Clint Eastwood then spent 15 minutes talking to an empty sandal.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Shoulda followed the gourd.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 31, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I am seeing an SNL skit recurring, with Sudeikis playing the titular role.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 31, 2012 at 2:14 pm

What about the cheese makers?

Steverino247 August 31, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Fuck 'em!

mrpuma2u August 31, 2012 at 2:07 pm

He could have been Joe Bidenakis. Did he buy a round of Ouzo shots? Or was he bringing the flaming cheese (saganaki) and yelling 'OPA!!!'

IonaTrailer August 31, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Or smash a plate on the ground?

Negropolis September 1, 2012 at 2:10 am

Silly me; this whole time I thought they were yelling "Oprah!" since she's practically a Greek goddess, now. Seriously, though, one of my earliest set of memories is my dad dragging us down to the Greek restaurants and ice cream places in Greektown in Detroit.

SexySmurf August 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I can't wait for the debates when Bidenopoulos will shout, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick Paul Ryan into a well.

(I don't know why there will be a well in the middle of the debate stage. That's just poor planning on CNN's part.)

IonaTrailer August 31, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Or shout, "THIS IS SPARTA" and shove a live (hopefully rabid) fox under Ryan's shirt.

miss_grundy August 31, 2012 at 3:00 pm

No, shove it down his pants….

ThankYouJeebus August 31, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Please, Jeebus, let this happen. (And thanks for the huge laugh, Blue.)

MLHencken August 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

This is also awesome:

“Can I get some rice pudding to go?” he asked, just before the pool was ushered out at 1:05 p.m. Now holding in van.

And then he rubbed one all over himself and threw the empty cup at his driver.

The end.

iTuna August 31, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I like to think he's hanging back, talking with the owners, eating a big tub of rice pudding, and as his handlers are dragging him out the door, he yells back, asking for more.

OzoneTom August 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Sparta!

Baconzgood August 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I read that 5 times and it still doesn't make sense.

gullywompr August 31, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Approaching a table of college students, he asked "Do you mind if we dance wif yo' dates?"

Wadisay August 31, 2012 at 2:10 pm

How can you tell that a table of men you are approaching is Greek? Oh, never mind.

johnnyzhivago August 31, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Coming Up Next: Clint Eastwood vs. a three piece sectional sofa.

YasserArraFeck August 31, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I dunno – I hear those sectionals can be pretty lippy

Jus_Wonderin August 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Generally those tend to be the ones with the detached cushions.

boobookitteh August 31, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I just fucking love Joe Biden.

Chet Kincaid_ August 31, 2012 at 2:12 pm

"I'm Joe Bidenella."
"I'm Joe Bidenez."
"I'm Joe Bidenic."
"I'm Joe Bidenowitz."
"I'm Joe Bidenakawa."
"I'm Joe Bidenski."

boobookitteh August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I'd vote for all of them, Katie.

YasserArraFeck August 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm

You forgot "Joe O'Biden", courtesy of The Intellectual Face of the Frozen North

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Also missing: Ali bin Biden

Geminisunmars August 31, 2012 at 2:45 pm

And Aga Biden

mrpuma2u August 31, 2012 at 2:44 pm

"Watishiwa Joe Biden-san"

IonaTrailer August 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"I'm Joe Biden-san"
"Joe Bidengupta"
"Joe Bidenpak"
"Joe Bidenguyễn"

WABishop September 1, 2012 at 3:54 pm

"I'm Zhou Bi Den."

bibliotequetress September 2, 2012 at 9:41 am

yesyes

Goonemeritus August 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Obama defaults to his intellect, Biden defaults to his heart but fortunately for us neither of them has an evil bone in their bodies. To me Joe will always be Italian.

ElPinche August 31, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Poor Ryan. In the debates, Joe's going to distract him with the silly, then kick him in his Ayn Rands.

Antispandex August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I think he just should have said, "I'm Joe Biden, and I like Greek too!" There's no way that could be misunderstood.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

You know, if any Conservative had a sense of humor, Biden might be a drag on the ticket.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

♫ Hey Joe
Where ya goin' with that foot in your mouth? ♪

Jus_Wonderin August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Did he rub anyones shoulders? Did he pull on the wrong door and make a goofy W face? Did he ask "is our children learning?"?

1stNewtontheMoon August 31, 2012 at 2:51 pm

No? he's not fucking stupid.

DemmeFatale August 31, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Did he say: "And?"

Mumbletypeg August 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I on & off watched convention festivities and never did think to look for the Ultimate Patriotical Symbol of a Flag Pin.
Then I see Joe fist-pumping at the President and of course, notice right away, Barry's flag pin barely visible on his lapel.

I like to think it's emblematic that, despite their efforts to vilify the guy, Repubs have made him and his goofy-league second-in-command even *more* Presidential in my eyes.

Jus_Wonderin August 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I so agree. To hold up under such horrifying attacks and language. Damn, they are da manz!!

miss_grundy August 31, 2012 at 3:15 pm

It just goes to show how teaching children good manners will carry them through their lives. I look at the President and think of Jackie Robinson and how he had to put up with so much incivility in order to play baseball. Being the first minority in the White House has been a plus for this country but it has also shown us how far we have to go in order for everyone to be accepted. I think I'll just try to dwell on the positive….

PhilippePetain August 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Do not watch that .gif with a hangover.

CrunchyKnee August 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm

They still have Politico on the Internets?

Crank_Tango August 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Something something, George Soros.

LibertyLover August 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Something, Something Birth Certificate

LibertyLover August 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Something, Something School Records.

Steverino247 August 31, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Like you can get somebody's school records without their permission. Give me a fucking break.

Geminisunmars August 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Something sommmmm……[drool]

SigDeFlyinMonky August 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Then he asked if they saw the Golden Dawn convention down in Tampa.

LastGasp August 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Approaching a table of men he knew to be African-American, he said "Whazzup, I'm BRO Biden!"
Well I guess you had to be there…

kittensdontlie August 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Yes, Joe is human, and this is why he is beloved.

Ducksworthy August 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

God Bless Joe Bidenopolous.

ttommyunger August 31, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Thanks for cleaning it up, but I happen to know what he said was- "Hi, I'm Joey; is it true youse guys can't get a hard-on unless you smell shit? 'Cause if it is, I know who you'll be voting for….Ba da boom!

Guppy August 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

O'Baughma/Bidenopoulos '12!

DrunkIrishman August 31, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I sense a new meme starting…

I'm Joe Bideneli!

I'm Joe Bidenstein!

I'm Joe Bidentos!

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Biden vs. Ryan debate. Shanty Irish Joe vs. Lace Curtain Irish Paul. Joe is coming and he's coming angry. Be there.

BaldarTFlagass August 31, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Joe as Wahlberg/Sergeant Dignam, Ryan as DiCaprio/Billy Costigan. I'm liking it.

just_a_head August 31, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Exactly right!

Some of my best arguments have been with Irish fellows like Joe. A bit silly on the surface, but whip-smart underneath. Add a genuine love of debate for debate's sake, and they're unbeatable.

I may be out of line, but a few sips of Jameson's might not be a bad idea.

rickmaci August 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm

+1 on the Jameson. That's should be the official Wonkette drinking game on the night of the VP debate. One shot every time the VPOTUS whoops Ryan's ass on a point. The rest of the bottle when he makes him cry.

arihaya August 31, 2012 at 6:07 pm

it will be the bloodiest Irish encounters since Brian Boru's civil war

Peckerwood_Pete August 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Wasn't Joe Bidenopolis Emmanuel Lewis' dad on Webster?

On a serious note… I really think Joe Biden missed his true calling as a comedy actor. I'd have loved to see a good 80s slapstick with Bill Murray, John Candy, and Joe Biden.

DemmeFatale August 31, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Really.
I think "noun, verb and 9/11" was brilliant!

(And I got the feeling that he's got a million of 'em.)

deanbooth August 31, 2012 at 2:40 pm

That's funny as hell and probably as old as democracy.

1stNewtontheMoon August 31, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Joe's the motherfucking man. I'd be totally cool with Obamz getting kinda drunk on purpose and handing Biden the keys a few times a year. They both deserve it.

barto August 31, 2012 at 3:02 pm

At the Epcot Center it's Jose Bidenarias (see post above this one)

bringmeanaxe August 31, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Joe Biden reminds me of my dad: goofy jokes, bad puns, and a heart as big as the Grand Canyon.

iTuna August 31, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Yeah, mine too.

IceCreamEmpress August 31, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Gaffer Joe! My favorite Vice-President since Henry Wallace. (I like dogs and Socialism, so.)

Of course, Charles G. Dawes was the only Vice President ever to have written a hit popular song. Posthumously.

Designer_Rants August 31, 2012 at 3:40 pm

To my people, he was always Joe Bidenowski.

anniegetyerfun August 31, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Every. Single. Republican. that I know on Facebook is looking forward to seeing Ryan "mop the floor" with "Jo-jo" during the debates. All I ask is that Joe stop being so good-natured and really take Ryan's head off. I know he MUST have a residual well of anger buried deep within him that can be unleashed.

DemmeFatale August 31, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Never fear, Annie.
Politicians don't get as far as he has without a good dose of killer instinct.
There is a ferocious and razor-sharp intellect underneath that genial exterior.

arihaya August 31, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Lucky the man on the table wasn't an Arab or Sikh, otherwise Joe bin Biden or Joe Singh Biden will make wingnuts assplode with anger

VeraSevera August 31, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Can't wait to hear what Joe calls himself when he drops into my neighborhood gay bar.

bibliotequetress September 2, 2012 at 9:43 am

Wouldn't it be great if he just slipped off his wedding ring before going in?

Nostrildamus August 31, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Report: Biden Determined to Boogie in US

DemmeFatale August 31, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Release the Biden!!

Negropolis September 1, 2012 at 2:06 am

He will always be O'Biden, to me.

BTW, did he joke about being unemployed? I hear that's a winner.

Negropolis September 1, 2012 at 2:16 am

I didn't "get" when Obama chose Joe, but I totally get it, now. Completely.

lulzmonger September 1, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Greeks let you get away with this = YOU ARE HARDCORE.

Biden has that thing where he's joky & nice – but you also wonder if he wouldn't channel LBJ hung over & on angel-dust behind closed doors, pick up a nearby office chair & make someone into his personal whiffle-ball with it if they crossed his ass.

He also hits context like a boss & isn't anywhere near as goofy in a debate, so I suspect Paul Ryan might be about to have his ersatz wonk aura & earnest Amway charisma forcibly ensconced up his urethra.

There's even an Interwebs rumor floating around now that something calling itself the Lulzmonger Post-Quantum Metapataphysics Council Of Lulzology will be awarding 9,009 EPIC WINZ0RZ bonus-points if Joltin' Joe makes Ryan cry.

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