Did I mention I'm on the House Intelligence Committee? *Teehee!*Michele Bachmann would like to remind you people that, if you want to make America say “What the actual fuck?” there is absolutely no need to talk to an empty chair. This woman does not need any silly props to work her magic. (Besides, the job of right-wing prop comic is already taken, thank you very much.) And so Michele ramped up the old-school cray-cray when a USA Today reporter asked her whether a bloated plutocrat like Mitt Romney could “connect with the American public, really understand what [sic] the plight of the American public?”

“Well, President Obama is extremely wealthy. He and his wife have been wealthy for a number of years, and so I think that’s really the issue. President Obama is wealthy, what do, or — what does he understand about the common man right now? And I think what people care about is not hating someone for what their assets are — the American people don’t hate President Obama because he’s a very wealthy individual.”

We will go out on a very thin limb here and suggest that, in Michele Bachmann’s mind, Americans will make no distinction between a candidate whose net worth is $7 million and a candidate whose net worth is somewhere between $250 million and maybe as much as $1 billion. But she can’t actually come out and say, “Look, almost all of us in Washington are just rolling around in enormous piles of money. Really, Romney’s not that much more out of touch than the rest of us disgustingly rich people.” So instead, she just shut off after saying that Obama is “extremely wealthy.” Having painted the merely wealthy President as equivalent to the obscenely wealthy Romney, Bachmann explained what really matters to the peons:

“What they care about is how their lives are, would their lives be better? And I think it’s very clear under the Romney-Ryan ticket the average Americans’ lives will be much better, they’ll have a lot more money to spend in the way that they want, and they’ll also have a much more secure future for their children.”

Exactly where the average family will find all that extra money after they’ve paid the higher taxes the Romney-Ryan plan would require, Bachmann could not say. Possibly from their offshore accounts?

[Raw Story]

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  • bumfug

    An empty chair is one with Michele Bachmann sitting in it. Pretty vacant.

    • Arborista

      Sex Pistols libel!

    • miss_grundy

      Did she take a look at Mitten's two years of tax returns and compare them to the President's, because the Pres may be upper middle class but Mitten's is wealthy…..

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Michele should have used Clint's Chair as a proxy for her in the Republican primaries.

    Paul/Chair 2016!

  • Tundra Grifter

    The difference between Ole Crazy Eyes and an empty chair is that at some point the empty chair might actually be good for something.

    I'm not much for Facebook. Does The Empty Chair have its own page yet?

  • ChernobylSoup

    Getting back to Mitt's theme from last night about the choices before America this election, fuck you Michele.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Dear Wonkette,
    Just because I live in Minnesota I always feel a little twinge of guilt whenever Bachmann opens her fat mouth. She’s not even in my district. How do I get over my guilt complex?
    Going Gray in Minneapolis

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Second Amendment? No, I didn't say that.

    • Peckerwood_Pete

      I'm used to the guilt… I live in SC… we have Lindsey Graham, Gov. Haley, and that Appalachian Trail guy, and we used to have Strom Thurmond.

    • Become a Yentl for Marcus and Lindsey Graham?

    • Callyson

      Dear GG,

      Remember, just about every state has something to live down. I'm originally from PA, which foisted Santorum on us for some reason, and now live in CA, where we are still trying to get rid of Prop H8.

      We shall overcome!

    • iamrrm

      I feel your pain. It's like a 7 hour drive from my house in S IL to go up and kick Joe Walsh's ass in N IL but I still feel bad for not wanting to waste the gas money.

      • Callyson

        I'll kick in some bucks–all I ask in return is that you post the video.

        Make it pay per view and you'll get a nice return on the investment…

    • OneDollarJuana

      You should feel guilty for Garrison Keillor, too.

    • kittensdontlie

      My first instinct would be fear….Stay out of her district! There has got to be a load of CRAZIES livin' there….

    • WIDTAP

      Dear Grumpe,

      Masturbation and whiskey dulls the pain.

      Your welcome.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Finally! A practical solution!

    • Arizona chiming in here, Grumps. No need to say more.

    • ImForMitt!

      Dear GGinM:

      The proper response when someone asks where you're from is "AT LEAST I'M NOT FROM ARIZONA." The trick is not sounding defensive.

      Not From Arizona But Still Not Responsible For Tom Tancredo

    • Negropolis

      Send money to her opponent is how you get over your guilt complex, if only two cents.

      Don't feel too bad, though. Old gal in Minnesota is larely harmless. Try being from blue Michigan, but from a red district whose congressman is an old FBI special agent who chairs of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence and who called for Bradley Manning to be executed, because, Freedom.

    • I feel your pain. I haven't lived in Iowa for several decades now, but I feel a certain amount of guilt over twittertwerp Chrls Grsly and Bachmann's long lost brother, Steven King.

    • BarryWDC

      Sorry–but the only cure is to convince the idiot voters who DO live in her district to vote for someone with a brain.

  • Schmannnity

    She talks to an empty head instead of an empty chair.

  • emmelemm

    Needs better alt-text!

    • Arborista


    • But the tag, "A RISING ELEVATOR LIFTS ALL CARS," is *par excellence*

    • I agree. I'm use to something humorous, but "Bachmann" seems to be just scary.

    • Doktor Zoom

      MANNN, you slip up just ONCE….

      OK, will fix that.

      • emmelemm

        Mumbletypeg has a point, though. C'est vrai.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sorry, I have no snark. Just a hearty "Fuck you, you stupid cunt." That is all.

    • MOG2410

      What you said libel!!! sorry still can't type that word.

    • Yes, Baldar, be fair to C-word. It doesn't deserved to be disparaged by being linked to Bachmann.

    • Warwhatgoodfor

      There isn't enough $ in the world to get me to do that. Now if you threw Mariska Hargitay into the deal, we could talk.

  • iamrrm

    ….the American people don’t hate President Obama because he’s a very wealthy individual, and some people in our nation don't have maps, and in Iraq, and such as.

    • You do that very well. Are you from South Carolina?

  • rickmaci

    She only gets away with this shit because she has a manner that makes batshitcrazy seem kind of cheerleadery cute, whereas Palin made it seem mean and threatening.

    • mavenmaven

      armed crazy vs unarmed crazy

    • Nice avatar, btw. Is that from the "Fat Hulk" story arc of the 1990s?

      • rickmaci

        Bwhahahah. Thanks. I think it's either from the story board for a Jabba the Hut scene or a stock pic of some RNC/AWG spokeshole.

        • I'm just imagining Fat Hulk taking one leap, and then leaning up against a building and panting so hard that his wheezes send parked cars flipping.

          • Cars are flippin' in Jersey all the time.

          • rickmaci

            As a humanitarian issue, I worry when Gov. Krispy Kreme starts to huff and puff and get all red in the face while giving a speech. Hope there is an EMT team that travels with him.

          • Who would win a battle between Christie and Steve Balmer in his insane prime?

          • rickmaci

            Beyond Blubberdome. Two go in, one Caterpillar tractor tows them both out.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Hey! I remember her! Now that I think back at all the possible veep picks EPROMney could have made, I am thanking FSM he didn't consider her crazy ass at all.

    • AbandonHope_

      EPROMney is absolute genius. A million upfists, good sir. Or madam.

      • KeepFnThatChicken

        Thanks, but I was devastated to Google the term immediately after the coining, to see that someone thought of it a couple of months ago.

        But they didn't post it on Wonkette, so FIRST.

        Also, "boy".

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Exactly where the average family will find all that extra money after they’ve paid the higher taxes the Romney-Ryan plan would require, Bachmann could not say. Possibly from their offshore accounts?

    My guess is they borrow it from their parents.

    • SpeedoFart

      Or sell some stocks.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Under Romney's plan, students will pay less taxes on those stocks they sell to get them through college.

    • Our you could get all your fellow Harvard alums to hit up their rich friends and relatives to help you finance it.

  • Hifimikey

    The shit doesn't fall to far from the bat…..Sure Michelle….

    Mitt made more money last year when he was "unemployed" than the Obama's have TOGETHER IN BOTH OF THEIR LIFETIMES….


    My parents taught me not to make fun of stupid.

    • MOG2410

      Good home training!

    • And yet you have posted comments here…, How?

  • Arborista

    Not completely off topic, but I really do love Bernie Sanders an awful lot:

    • He's my pretend husband. I cheat on him sometimes with my pretend boyfriend Sherrod Brown, but I always go back to Bernie.

  • sbj1964

    Americans don't hate Mitt for being rich.They hate him because how he got rich was by Fucking everyone else over.

    • SoBeach

      And then not having common decency to provide a reach-around by paying taxes.

    • montreal_bruin

      Gotta disagree. Mittens got MORE rich by fucking everybody over.

      • Biff

        True–he was born with more money than I made my entire career.

    • reliefsinn

      I know another Wonketeer posted this link, but here it is again, in case anyone missed it:
      If someone asks me why I am voting for Obama after his "disappointing" first term, I am going to hand them a copy of this article.
      That guy is evil on many, many levels.
      As someone claims later on in the piece, Romney has absolutely no imagination.
      The guy can't even fake compassion for his fellow man. I like to think that Obama, even though he has some money, and does many things I don't like, has some awareness and concern that there are people out of work, money, health insurance, and hope.

  • salt_bagel

    Someone told me if you were legitimately wealthy then your body could shut that down.

    • kittensdontlie

      Here's how I heard it: For legitimate wealth, the government shuts your taxes down, whereas for the opposite, you are opened up for more taxes.

    • Negropolis


  • Baconzgood


  • mavenmaven

    She doesn't care about money. She only hates blacks, gays, and empty uteri.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    How does this woman dress herself in the morning?

    • fatbob54

      Marcus goes into his closet and finds something nice for her.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Wouldn't he have to come out of the closet first?

      • Monsieur_Grumpe


    • Tackily.

    • MOG2410

      With great flair, using the skins of dead puppies.

    • grex1949

      Jesus picks out her outfits.

  • Lot_49

    When you have $7M, you have a house in a black neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago, and a four-year lease with an option to renew on a big mixed-use facility in DC. When you have$250M, your La Jolla beach house will soon be tripled in size and get a car elevator.

    • IonaTrailer

      Hyde Park is actually one of the oldest peacefully integrated communities in the nation. (not all blah)

      • Lot_49

        You're right. I was Ryanating.

        • A verb both so useful and so cromulent deserves a drink.

          Who's buying?

      • Featuring the University of Chicago, full of many Asians and some white people, surrounded by buppies in Woodlawn, Kenwood and Bronzeville who just wanted to live near a Starbucks (myself included, back in the '00s). Some of those professor's mansions on Woodlawn Ave. are fucking North Shore opulent.

        • IonaTrailer

          Back in the day, (1960's) Louis Farrakhan lived a couple blocks away from the Obama's house. My best friend lived on 49th and Greenwood and we used to see his henchmen standing around on each corner holding shotguns. Needless to say, no one fucked with Louis. Not even Chicago's finest.

  • no_gravity

    The worst part about this is that this statement doesn't even hit the top 10 stupid things Michelle Bachmann has said.

  • gullywompr

    I think the word she was looking for was "uppity".

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm back only three days and now this moron is back for the attack? Fuck, I'm not even turning my computer on at home this weekend.

  • Goonemeritus

    The Obama’s grew up middleclass and have only had money for a short time. Romney was born on third base he can no more relate to the average American than Michelle can relate to a sane one.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    Whisky Tango Foxtrot!?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Did you see that blip on radar too?

    • BarackMyWorld

      I wish she'd Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Lima Oscar Lima

    • Charlie_Foxtrot

      That woman's brain is a total Charlie Foxtrot

  • SorosBot

    The Obamas also aren't proposing to change the tax code so that they would have to pay virtually no taxes anymore.

  • Antispandex

    Flip-flop. A policy reversal, a shoe, and what my stomach does when I see Michele Bachmann.

  • Look, for your average, everyday, Joe "lunch bucket in the yacht refrigerator" billionaire, Romney is just the better choice.

  • Callyson

    “Well, President Obama is extremely wealthy."

    Yeah? How many offshore accounts does he have?



    And look all those Messicans and Nicaragüeños sending money every week to their secret accounts in the Western Unions.

  • I see…Marcus is still fucking men.

  • Troubledog

    I would do everything to that crazy lady.


    • Warwhatgoodfor

      Call me if you need more lube.

  • kittensdontlie

    With Bachmann out giving interviews, who is guarding the asylum?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Obviously, no one. She got out.

    • An_Outhouse

      apparently no one because the inmate has escaped.

  • MissTaken

    the American people don’t hate President Obama because he’s a very wealthy individual.

    For a man who has never had a job and was born in Kenya how did he get so much money?

    • SorosBot

      The wingnuts will say it was just because of affirmative action – but they're not racists, no way!

      • Biff

        Which is one reason they want their country back.

    • CthuNHu

      Why does she hate success?

    • I assumed from drug dealing or from mugging old people. Or did he own a rap label? Are there any other ways for black people to make money?

    • ImForMitt!

      Carjacking. I read it in the "Ron Paul Investment Letter".

  • Callyson

    Also–I am getting sick of this "the voters resent Mitt Romney because of his money" line. No, the voters hate Mittens because of how he *made* his money on the backs of *other people's* hard work, as that Rolling Stone article earlier today illustrated (thanks for the link, Wonkette.)


  • The thing that riles me the most is that an increase in taxes would have absolutely no effect on the quality of life for people like Romney. Their objection is only based on principle (selfishness). But there are millions of people for whom just 20 bucks a week can make a significant difference in their day-to-day life.

    • grex1949

      Furthermore, those "little people" in the 99% would actually SPEND the money on consumer durables (or waste on on bills and groceries, like Mrs. G-Rex likes to do) rather than ship it to the Caymans. The 1%, it turns out, are extremely short-sighted people.

  • DrunkIrishman

    Michele Bachmann is extremely stupid.

    • Tundra Grifter

      One thing she sure does know how to do is wring money from Republicans.

      She's sitting on a multi-million dollar warchest, whining about how much money her opponent has, and the campaign contributions just keep rolling on in.

      • DrunkIrishman

        That's what happens when you belong to a party with more mental midgets than yourself.

    • Negropolis

      In other news, water is wet.

  • The sheer quantity of foster peeps she & Marcus went through makes sense now. Those poor kids spent just enough time in that quack-wacky household to know they were better off having never arrived. The pace of turnover must've been staggering. How could anyone stomach sitting through her saying the blessing at dinner much less 30 seconds of batshitty attempt to assess candidates' political viability?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Everything is obviously backwards in Michele's mind: up is down, cuts are increases, and gay is straight (that means YOU, Marcus).


    Rmoney, your money, my money, Armani!

  • An_Outhouse

    Let's see, Obama, smart guy, writes some books, people buy them because he's a talented dude.

    Michele B., 'farmer' grifter, gets paid to warehouse stray children, occasionally prays away the gay for $$, is surprised that she makes so little ca$h because very few people want what she's offering.

    Too bad for her that you can get amateur porn for free because Michele may have had a shot at that pre-Internet.

    • grex1949

      Oh, but don't forget she has the equivalent of a mail-order law degree (Oral Roberts University) and an L.L.M. in tax from William & Mary. What did she do with all that fancy tax larnin'? Went to work for the I.R.S. in the collections department. Nice.

  • OneDollarJuana

    I keep wondering where all the dumb-as-a-post Democratic women are.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Twenty minutes with her must take 15 points off your IQ.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I bet it is like a black hole. Any longer and you have no motor reflexes to pull away.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    If we line up a string of Snausages on the tile can we tempt her back to her padded cell?

  • anniegetyerfun

    President Obama is wealthy, what do, or — what does he understand about the common man right now?

    Well, if we are questioning if Obama can relate to the "common" man, then we should sure as fuck question if Romney can.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Actually, no. Not allowed to talk about that.

    • But Romney has a series of algorithms that allow him to relate to the common man with an error rate of less than 5%.

  • In the War of Ideas, Michele is the amateur suicide bomber who accidentally blows her house up.

    • BeefHardcake

      This is sheer brilliance.

    • Negropolis

      How in the world did I miss this, yesterday. lol

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Obama just wants to mail welfare checks to all of our Swiss bank accounts.

    • TribecaMike

      The noive of that guy!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I think it's 'rich' when Michelle claims Marcus is her 'husband'.

  • It seems Mish is really loving the new slogan for 2012: Vote GOPer because your (sic) stupid.

  • Wait, if Obama is wealthy, isn't he a job creator? Shouldn't Bachmann and the rest of the GOP get out of his way? Why do they hate job creators so much?

  • TheMightyHaltor

    The GOP: more projection than an IMAX theater.

  • belmontreport

    She's just jealous, because Obama is worth $7 million while she's only worth about $3 million. CLASS WARFARE!

  • MonkeyMotion

    Pretty please, can someone explain to me how this imbecile got elected — and then RE-elected — to public office?

    Rod Serling? Anyone?

    • MissTaken

      She's seen as 'hawt'.

      • Biff

        So people actually "hit that", with votes?

    • Negropolis

      Forget it Monkey, it's Anokatown.

  • dennis1943

    We can be sure critical thinking did not produce this………

  • She forgot to mention that the GOP will also give everyone blow jobs for free. In fact she and her husband are taking the first few shifts.

  • DahBoner

    Let's put all these wealthy people on a island with a couple of rusty knives (for cutting up their birthday cakes)….

  • Ducksworthy

    Michele and Marcus are also quite wealthy but they did it the old fashioned way: crop subsidies and foster child farming.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Exactly where the average family will find all that extra money after they’ve paid the higher taxes the Romney-Ryan plan would require, Bachmann could not say.

    I'm planning to make money by gaming the state for foster child support and by running psychological counseling that exploits people struggling with their sexual orientation. I may also run for elected office, because, hey, free health care and a salary for not even showing up. And if these things bring me any attention, I'll can then sell myself out dispensing opinions on the TV news shows, 'cause that's where the real money can be made. What do the rest of you shiftless people have planned?

  • Wadisay

    Next time I see this woman, I am looking forward to screaming "Two! Term! Pwesident!" at her.

  • upthruster

    Michele's curse and Minnesota's damnation is that she can never leave MN's 6th district if she wants to hold office anymore. All the other states that would take her as a Rep. already have their own version of "cray-cray" in office.

  • DahBoner

    Obama is so wealthly, he can afford to buy the whole watermelon.

    Trump buys it by the slice….

  • mustangsavvy

    "This woman does not need any silly props to work her magic."

    No sir, she does not! Her brain is all the silly prop she needs.

  • grex1949

    With a little support, Jim Graves will defeat this nutcase. Jim Graves for Congress.
    I know, I know, if she's defeated, we will not have Michele to kick around anymore, and she'll be missed. It's just that it would be nice if Minnesota's Sixth Congressional District had a voice in Congress, as opposed to the insane ramblings of Michele Bachmann for a change.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Why do the Republicans hate success?

  • owhatever

    I wish she would run for President.

  • docterry6973

    Well, she convinced me. You just can't argue with logic like that.

  • TribecaMike

    The writing is on the wall, Bachmann, and it ain't mene mene tekel upharsin, unless that translates as your party's ass is grass.

  • Nostrildamus

    Exactly where the average family will find all that extra money after they’ve paid the higher taxes the Romney-Ryan plan would require, Bachmann could not say.

    I bet Marcus knows.

  • Biff

    My "pile" of literally tens of dollars doesn't provide much cushion, and I've got bruises on my elbows and knees. I hope Obamacare does something for that.

  • BarackMyWorld
  • spareme

    I see she got her "talking points" email.. I fear we are in for 2 months of this bullshit.

  • TribecaMike

    And now, a word from Neil deGrasse Tyson…

  • bibliotequetress

    There is obviously no difference in the life experience between the biracial child of a single mother who works her way through graduate school and wakes her son at 4 AM to tutor him because he's attending the only school she can afford — free- and who's kid works his way up in the world while still hanging on to his ethics in the face of hurricane level forces trying to derail him

    and Mitt Romney

  • ttommyunger

    First time I ever saw this silly twat's name and the word "Logic" in the same sentence. No doubt it will be the last time as well.

    • TribecaMike

      We'll see when the new Texas School Board-approved textbooks come out.

      • ttommyunger

        Complete with pop-ups, no doubt.

        • TribecaMike

          lol I read a few months ago that Texas can't even afford to implement the school board's recent ludicrous recommendations.

          • ttommyunger

            World's largest outdoor toilet.

  • Birdwatcher1

    Is she REALLY that dim? Is that even possible?

  • Negropolis

    She is a horrible human being, and I'm not sure how to snark this. Usually, I find saving graces in people, but I can't find them in her. There is no self-reflection; she gets worse as times moves on. She's too old for this bullshit.

  • labman57

    Michele's logic is completely sound. Yes Romney is many times wealthier than the Obama, but that's not the point.

    White people are supposed to be rich, whereas …

  • BeefHardcake

    It has to be refreshingly easy to be Michele Bachmann. You can just say anything, anything that comes into your head, and nobody in America will be surprised or really react in any way.


    "Awwww, isn't that nice, Fred, the crazy bug-eyed lady is saying stuff again."

  • Tricky_Dick

    Well, my husband Ms. Marcus is extremely gay….has been gay for years….oh wait

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