Oh, nothin’ much. You? Bonus Clint Eastwoods after the jump!
AS A MATTER OF FACT WE DO FEEL LUCKY! 9:15 am August 31, 2012
Here Is A Picture Of Your Wonket With Clint Eastwood, Right After His Terrific RNC Speech
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 202 comments }
"Get off my Editrix".
You didn't tap that!
Well, he certainly made *MY* day…
Didn't make mine. I ended up feeling really bad for Eastwood. He gave every appearance that he's getting a bit senile. I wish he hadn't given the speech. I also wish that his family wasn't doing that god awful reality show. In most cases, it's much better for an actor to let his/her work speak for them.
A bit?
Did you feel lucky?
More important, did you GET lucky, punk?
I mean, unless "lucky" is a pet name for his penis, in which case it's all good
I feel yucky….how's that?
Understandable, there's a lot of it going around these days.
Of all the conventions I have ever watched – that speech was the biggest embarassing train wreck ever. I couldn't look away. Ouch.
Did he show you his onion belt?
Well, that was the style in those days.
Dear Mr. President: There are too many states nowadays. Please remove three. I am not a crazy person.
Nice Rack!
I’m just sad that one of my favorite directors lost a debate with an empty chair.
At least now we know why Hereafter sucked the root.
I feel like I just realized a favorite uncle is senile.
Personally, I thought he'd lost it after I saw "The Unforgiven." What a cold mess of nothin'. You betcha!
"Take these three items, some WD-40, a vice grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone."
That sounds like Dirty Harry meets Chris Hansen to me…
What did he smell like?
Yeah, was it Old Spice or English Leather?
Old man.
Oh. Like Creed in The Office then.
Teen spirit.
Gunpowder #5?
Cheap wine, Vicks, and urine.
Depends.
Death?
watching that, I thought I was high.
A lot of old people, due to aging, sensitive skin cannot use hand soaps, and oftentimes, do not wash their hands after they take a dump. This is true. They get fecal matter caked up under their fingernails, and it smells horrendous! Not saying this is the case with Mr. Eastwood. But it's possible.
He sure was.
Watching that, I wished I was high.
I was, and it still made no fucking sense.
Credit: Ad for fabulous new pill that combines Cialis and Aricept.
Especially helpful for remembering your sexual orientation.
Was he yelling at the sky?
Yes – "Get off my cloud!"
He must have thought that you were the lovely nurse who was going to freshen up his Depends undergarment.
In the last post Rich Abdill quoted The Blaze's remarking how "steady and grit-filled" and "taking steady aim" Eastwood's speech was and now seeing Becca propping the old man up I know the Blaze was not exaggerating perhaps so much.
Steady as she goes.
He may have lost his ever-loving mind, but I still love Clint. When he and Willie Nelson die (if they ever do), my hard-bitten father will probably cry.
Nelson and Kristofferson. The last surviving Highwaymen. I wonder what is their secret?…
Weed?
Nine out of ten grizzled, braid-&-bandana wearin', dominoes-playin, relaxed-about-tax-filin', guitar strummin' Texas hippies would agree.
(Kristofferson's bio is too long & convoluted for me to sum up in a single strand of hyphenated's but tonight's a blue moon and I love that songwriter more than most so I could get started without much prompting)
We could start with his Rhodes scholarship.
I mean, really, of all the professions to see a Rhodes scholar excel in, C&W songwriting????
The world would have been way, way cooler had Kris Kristofferson said to hell with a music career and won the presidency. He could do that shit. He's one hell of a smart guy. A songwriter who holds the keys to nukes. Fuckin' awesome.
Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' for a train
And I's feelin' near as faded as my jeans
Bobby thumbed a diesel down, just before it rained
It rode us all the way to New Orleans
I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna
I was playin' soft while Bobby sang the blues, yeah
Windshield wipers slappin' time, I was holdin' Bobby's hand in mine
We sang every song that driver knew.
That is damn fine writing.
Cigreets, whuskey and wild wild women
They are dead. They just don't know it yet.
Willie looked old when I last saw him. About 1973.
Just like the rest of us.
It's a long story, but an old boyfriend whom I was trying to break up with sought romantic advice about it from Willie Nelson, who he had interviewed for an article. Sorry to say it did not work, but there was a brief period when only three people knew of our issues: him, me and Willie Nelson.
At least my dad got an autographed picture out of it.
Cool. I wish young Linda Ronstadt could have known about my "issues".
Oh man…
Yeah, mine too…
We have tix to see the Redheaded Stranger in another week. Can't wait.
Proof he wasn't a hologram.
He was playing misty alright. Downright foggy.
"Im-Ho-Tep! Im-Ho-Tep!"
"Ia! Ia! Cthulhu ftaghn!"
How did you get through the mob in all these photos?
I think that speech has proven to all of us the importance of death panels.
May I have sex with your comment? I would normally just take it, but that would be legitimate rape and I want to spawn babby comments with this.
Just make sure you don't give my comment the herpes.
I'm clean, despite the rumours.
…and the heartbreaking truth of dementia.
Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.
I can honestly say I never thought Clint would tell people about how empty chairs tell him to shut up and go fuck himself. I really think the chair (being smarter than anyone else there) was trying to help him out. Also, close your mouth, sir. This is a picture, not a video.
Good thing you aren't a chair.
Great. This is the third sign of an apocalypse. If Hawaii gets hit by a tsunami, it will be the fourth sign. God hates beauty.
Well, it's not Hawaii, but there a chance of a tsunami near the Philippines this morning.
I was just about to post that. Apparently Dingos is tapped into some wormhole that communicates with the Destroyer of Worlds.
EatsBabyDingos: PLEASE CLOSE THE CONNECTION AND STOP TALKING NOW.
But now I'm thinking about Romney and an anthill and some maple syrup and a cowboy named Chester with a feathery boa named Rand.
Carry on, then.
I was going to make a joke about how Clint seemed normal to me – but then again I spend my days working with people with Alzheimer's, but then it took me 5 tries to log in to Intense Debate and I felt a little more sympathetic to the ravages of an aging mind.
At my age I worry about Alzheimer's every time I pull the wrong key out and try to open my apartment with the car key.
What were you saying?
I don't remember. Something about kids these days.
Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!!
I'm so glad I don't need to worry about that stuff, what with being young and sexy.
Well, young, at least.
Oh, I used to do it when I was young, too. But at least there was alcohol involved.
If you use McAfee for protection from internet stuff, check your email inbox for a notice that it needs a fix. Worked for me.
I had caps lock on. And then did that thing where you hit the keys really hard like you're talking to someone who doesn't speak English. 5 times.
Why do you ever log out of Intensedebate? You're not one a them sock puppeteers, are ya?!
No. I'm one of those paranoid people who sets their work computer to clear their cache, browsing history and cookies every time I log out. That way you are assured that every comment is 100% boobookitteh certified.
Wise.
What did the RNC think it was going to get? I don't think they thought it was going to be a stuttering old man who could barely get a sentence out without telling the empty chair to shut up. That was just sad. Watching Eastwood's face light up every time he thought he landed one was sad, too.
I think they were hoping he'd come out as Dirty Harry for to entertain the young kids.
Yes, because the youngs these days are all into them 40 year old movies.
Young for a REPUBLICAN…
OT
Did Journey actually play a gig for them? If so, they still suck.
Actors always write their own lines and really are just like their characters.
He probably was getting an Eastwoody brushing up against Editrix.
Who could blame him? Rawr!
He's thinking"Any which way but loose."
And starring Mitt as the trained chimp.
Were these taken in the car elevator?
Editrix, did you reach up his ass for his strings?
Meh….Why didn't you get Clide in the photograph?
First Reagan, now Eastwood. I suppose we're lucky Slim Pickins and Festus are both gone.
"THE GOP – THE PARTY OF B-MOVIE COWBOYS"…
Looking and Clint and then at Mittens, one is reminded how rapidly animatronics is advancing. Mittens acts almost lifelike. Clint looks ready for recycling.
apparently halftime in Merkkia is over
Clint does much better with a script and the ability to do multiple takes.
I just hope the second half goes better for we citizens than it did for the Patriots in that game.
I'll bet he was all "ma chair-ee d'amor" and shit.
It was all going fine until he mistook our Editrix for the nurse who gives him his sponge bath.
Editrix, how is it in the first photo, Eastwood is clear and in focus and you are not? Do you have a magic camera?
He's a bastard, and proclaiming so with his "baton sinister" tie.
Oh, and fer fuck's sake, Thank Allah that fucking shit is over.
As any good republican would say, keep those liberals in Hollywood out of the media.
I didn't know that Clint was in Beauty and the Beast (him being the beast).
"Are you my nurse? Where's my nurse?"
The most impressive Hollywood speech since Kirk Douglas at the Academy Awards
Thank god he didn't do pushups like Jack Palance
I crap higher than Billy Crystal.
It's like when Breitbart groped Riley. Did he try to put his hoo-hoo-diddy in your cha-cha?
He left with a stern warning to all the conventioneers:
"And if anything happens to the whores, I'll come back and kill all you sons-a-bitches!"
The Duck of Death!!!
Whatcha doin'? Hangin' out in the parking garage?
Rebecca: Did he ask you "Kenneth – What is the frequency?"
I still think he's kinda cool.
I will always love "Clint Eastwood", the actor and director. It's unfair for the GOP to manipulate a vulnerable Old like that.
Great idea. Lacked a little in the execution.
Me too, but the throat-slitting gesture was a bit too much.
Could you at least have licked your hand and tried to press down that crazy hair on top of the old duffer's head?
I have been playing the political game for over 42 years when some folks asked me if I would consider running for council and I said no because they were republicans. Yet I have never encountered such a disrespectful, inane, abusive and unpatriotic string of babble at an authentic political event.
Mitt should disclaim that performance or I am calling our the dogs of war in my district and they eat somebody who would try to tie them to the roof of a car.
Here's the President's reply to Clint's speech:
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/obama…
Damn that man is cool.
Nice!
EPIC BURN DETECTED
I was out last night. Did I miss anything?
I was out last week. Did I miss anything?
I've been downloading primo online porn non-stop since last month. Did I miss anything?
It's like The Furniture of Madison County.
"Well I'll be damned, it's Rita Hayworth! You votin' for Nixon too?"
You know, with her hair like that, she could be Gilda
"I know what you're thinking. You're asking yourself is there someone sitting in this chair? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I've kind of lost track myself…."
Did I fuck up six metaphors or only five?
Now you've got to ask yourself one question: do you like Romney? Well, do you, punk?
Eastwood-McFly 2012
I thought Clint Eastwood was the kid on Back to the Future 3. That's the only reason I stayed up last night to watch. And this some old, senile guy came out, pretending to be Ronald Reagan in late stages of dementia, arguing with the invisible man.
An elderly rich man, arguing with an empty chair representing an imaginary opponent in front of an endless sea of white faces is an apt a representation of the modern Republican Party as I've ever seen.
In that sense, Eastwood's speech worked.
If the RNC had only had the foresight to harness a cloud with which to argue…
Clint Eastwood's speech was the perfect metaphor for the modern GOP — a rambling, angry, senile old white guy talking to an empty chair. Way to connect to those young, ethnic and female voters GOP! When the chair told him to go fuck himself, he should have said, "OK" and left the podium.
Careful, his tie is the same color as those little pills he has in his pocket. Also, in one pocket is his gun and in the other he IS happy to see you.
Does anyone else think maybe he was just screwing with them?
That is possible!
I want to think so.
The tepid "Maybe it's time to let somebody else sit in the big chair" riff made me wonder who was trolling who.
I like what another commenter here said – he could've been a doing an angry-old-guy character that was too convincing / not sufficiently satirical.
Have you ever been to one of those mummy museums?
Nice backpack. You a sophomore or a junior? Whats your major?
More like "You are going to detention young lady for no hall pass"
You used those feminine wiles and took advantage of a poor old confused millionaire! Well done.
Right turn, Clyde …
Maybe the Dems can get Eli Wallach for Charlotte.
"Hey, Blondie! You know what you are? Just a dirty son-of-a-b-!"
*Cue Ennio Morricone*
ah-AH-ah-AH-ahh, wah WAH wah
With Ron Paul as Lee Van Cleef.
Invisible Obama is giving him the bunny ears.
That plastic sheeting and duct tape in the background certainly makes you look like you're in the Anthrax bunker…
That's how we prepare for "wet work"…
I think Dexter was setting up.
Barbie Polaroid or GTFO!
Zombie Klaus was there???!!?
He can't even be bothered to cry?
Until the recent spate of photos, I didn't realize what a babe our editrix is.
If I find a way to be twenty years younger and unmarried, can I have a date?
Get a divorce and a sports car!
And if my wife is reading this, just kidding honey.
You know, I really shouldn't make fun of Clint for arguing with an empty chair, because I remember one party I attended where someone laced the weed with PCP and I ended up in the basement, talking to a furnace.
Who was the better conversationalist, the chair or the furnace?
I don't know, but the furnace was HOT, baby!
I will vote for that empty chair before I vote for Mitt Romney…Lookin' good Becca…
The other stupid thing about this is that he is just hawking his new movie.
A Fistful of Becca?
High Plains Grifter. Or Really Dirty Harry.
Well since they are in Florida, likely 'Ol Sparky is an empty chair that is available for Mittens, and today is Fryday.
Do you think that later that evening he pretended you were in that chair? Or did he ask you if you'd like to learn more about "metal masochism"?
That convention was one big Medicine Show. They didn't even have to sample Clint.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD2kWCfTcaU
Good moves Rebecca, that's how Dina snagged him
Please say he admitted to you that he purposely spoke to an empty chair to make em look bad.
Where'd he get that suit? Jesus, can't he afford a tailor? Anyway, lucky him!
Paul Lyan suggested K&G Outlet. 3 suits for $119. Alterations extra.
What pending bill does President Nixon fear the most? The one from Robert Hall.
Yes. Too small across the shoulders. Buttoning the top button instead of the middle one didn't help any, either. Also.
I like Cling cuz he appreciates jazz, but JHC on a bicycle he should stick to what he knows!
I kind of hope that Clint was fuckin' with the GOP. Maybe they prepared remarks for him. He read them. He was offended and decided he was not going to be their rent boy and recite their lines, so he got up there and mocked them. I can't believe last night's Clint Eastwood is the same guy who appeared in the Chrysler Super Bowl ad just a few months ago.
Weird, I woke up this morning thinking it was a dream.
See if Clint's in your shower…
Everything is going just fine. You are talking to an unoccupied chair and, of all things, Chris of Christie decides he needs to take a huge load off and BOOM! Convo over!
so RepugliKKKans go from worshipping senile Reagan to senile Eastwood?
What else did you blow besides his mind?
Empty Chair, meet Empty Suit.
He may have picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue.
If Fellini & David Lynch had a love-child, it would be these pictures.
A few sessions of puppet therapy are in order.
Why is every Wonkette picture blurred. lol It matters not the time of day or even lighting, if it's a picture for Wonkette, expect it to be shitty. lol
Rebecca, you have gotten more beautiful.
Sorry, but I'm not allowed to look at such esquisite beauty.
I joined a monastery and took a vow of blindness…
He'd go on to fly helicopters in the military. When he turned down an English teaching offer at West Point in order to pursue songwriting, his family cut him off.
One iconic moment that stands out for me was when he came onstage to defend Sinead O'Connor after the crowd* began booing her — it was just after that controversy when Sinead tore up a picture of the Pope maybe? Anyway — it reinforced my appreciation of the man's balanced perspective, not intimidated to stand up to a herd unloading their vitriol on a scapegoat, in addition to a lifetime balancing act of versatile talents.
*ETA: it was a stage benefit-tribute to Bob Dylan, w/ many guest performers, methinks~
If you ever meet him, you will be able to define "charismatic" in two words-Kris Kristofferson. Truly a man who is very comfortable in his own boots. One of my favorite pics of all time is this one. http://michellepictures.com/files/2011/12/first-l…
Sing it, sistah!
Sunday Morning Coming Down, If You're Feeling Salty Then I'm Your Tequila, Loving Her Was Easier, Help Me Make It Through The Night. For The Good Times.
All damn fine writing.
Love the story of Kris flying a helicopter over Johnny Cash's house and dropping his demo tape down on the property in order to stand out from the crowd.
It was indeed, and she went on to a capella a really fine version of Bob Marley's War in defiance of the crowd.
She did tear up a picture of the Pope on SNL as a dramatization of the child sexual abuse scandal just beginning to be uncovered. Rudy Giuliani, never one to miss a chance to rile a crowd for his own gain, went ballistic the next morning and it was the talk of the town that week.
The Dylan 30th anniversary tribute was two weeks later at the Garden.
The irony is, the audience reaction was mixed, almost as many booing as cheering, and it wasn't that she was upset about the booing but that the entire crowd wouldn't shut up long enough to let her sing and get off. She understood the night was not about her, it was about Dylan and that's what made her mad: the audience missed that whole point
And he married one of the hottest women I've ever seen.
Pissing in the Wind. (Okay, not his very best)
I loved it when Madonna came on later and said: "Fight the real enemy!" And then tore up a picture of Joey Buttafuoco.
That would be excellently segued into the next post about FLOTUS, if I could manage it.
Liking your avatar pic, also and too~
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