eat the rich

World’s Worst Woman And World’s Richest Woman Are Coincidentally Very Same Person

she ate your milkshakeThe Los Angeles Times brings us this important story of a very nice lady — the world’s wealthiest! — explaining to poor people to shut up and eat their fucking gruel:

Just in case you were beginning to think rich people were deeply misunderstood and that they feel the pain of those who are less fortunate, here’s the world’s wealthiest woman, Australian mining tycoon Gina Rinehart, with some helpful advice.

“If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain,” she said in a magazine piece. “Do something to make more money yourself — spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, and more time working.”

But wait, because it gets better! (Of course it does.)

In other news, Rinehart — who inherited her $30 billion — says people are poor because the minimum wage is too high. If anything, it just makes too much sense! [LAT]

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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294 comments

    1. bumfug

      Sure not a happy Thursday for the guys – between this and the picture of Jan Brewer earlier, I won't get a boner til 2015.

      1. Geminisunmars

        Wow, that's too bad. Making sure our male wonketeers have good strong regular boners is what all us ladies live for.

      1. Barbara_

        Nancy, she wants us to spend less time drinking, smoking and socializing. That's just not going to happen. Wanna go get a drink?

        1. MissNancyPriss

          Surely, but we'll have to dip into my boss' s liquor cabinet, cause this lazy, drunk non rich ladee is at work!

  1. no_gravity

    I'd shut up and eat my fucking gruel but obviously she's already eaten it as well as everything else on the planet. And probably a few plump children too.

  2. not that Dewey

    You mean she's not a Walton? 'Cause that face has "People of Walmart" written all over it.

    1. chicken_thief

      I thought Walnuts married the rich ones. If Cindy's wealth ever deteriorates, this *gal* could be first in line for his affections.

      1. YouBetcha

        Newt's already married once for love, once to trade in for a healthier model, and once again to trade in for a newer model. Number Four is going to be for the dollaz.

    1. SavageDrummer

      She eats because she's a terrible person, and she's a terrible person because she eats… No… wait… she's just a terrible person…

      1. jodyleek

        I was thinking "Fatliners" starring Ron Jeremy and a bunch of broads who look like that wench.

  3. OzoneTom

    The alt-text reminds me of that old joke:
    David Koch, a teabagger, and a teacher sit down in front of a plate of a dozen cookies. Koch grabs 11 of them and stuffs them in his pocket then leans over to the 'bagger and whispers "Watch out or that union thug is going to steal your cookie!"

  4. Callyson

    Rinehart — who inherited her $30 billion

    How long before she uses the "I built that" lie/line?

    1. sewollef

      The eyeliner and lipstick really brighten her complexion.

      Erm… oh never mind.

      You're right, you're right of course MissT… if she'd only look a little harder at freshening up her wardrobe, she could be really sweet.

    2. Native_of_SL_UT

      What the difference between a pit bull and a rich Australian mining tycoon?
      Fuckin' nothing.
      And lipstick is absolutely pointless as hell on both.

      1. Crank_Tango

        I'm turtling and it is going to take a lot of coaxing to get the little bastard out of his shell now.

  5. timbo71351

    She looks like the nice lady from Dance Moms. Too bad she isn't a U.S. citizen or she could be Mittens' running mate.

  6. FakaktaSouth

    Rosie O'Donnell's nasty Aussie twin-sister needs to teach me more about learning how to make money off of inherited mining dollars. I imagine all of her workers are paid and treated incredibly well.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Shit me too. Of course that would also be preferable to sitting in a cubicle and doing excel spreadsheets all day. The chances of a suffocating death are smaller too.

  7. BloviateMe

    “If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain,” she said in a magazine piece. “Do something to make more money yourself — spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, and more time working.”

    …and the Australian guillotine industry immediately ramps up production.

    1. Rotundo_

      No need for a blade, just drive her out into the desert and let her be. Much more amusing for much longer. 120degrees in the shade would be a good character building exercise for her, until she got delirious.

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Is it really worth having billion if you don't drink, smoke or socialize? Then again, I guess if you have billions, you can tell the hooker to be quiet while you snort cocaine off of her ass.

    1. FNMA

      You can't snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it's not gentlemanly.

      – Hank Moody

  9. elviouslyqueer

    Darling, your "let them eat cake" attitude wouldn't be nearly so reprehensible if it didn't look like you've already chowed down on the entire. fucking. bakery.

    1. sewollef

      I'm not so sure…. 'cos I was just searching for that full length shot of the 47 y.o. Elle…. and here it is. At 47 years old. 47.

      She'd do for me.

    1. sewollef

      By "scratch offs", you mean scratching off the scabs from those pus-filled boils she's got, right?

  10. Wadisay

    I bet there's some kind of backstory about a deal with Satan: you can have $30 billion, Gina, but it will cost you your soul, your conscience, your personality, and any grace you might possess. Oh yeah, and your good looks.

  11. SorosBot

    How can poor people spend more time working when most of them already have two or three jobs just to make ends meet?

  12. pdiddycornchips

    "If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain,”

    That's good advice. It's best to be proactive. Much in the way Russians were proactive in 1917 or the French in 1789. Being a self absorbed billionaire is great until the serfs paid to protect you decide it's in their best interest to stop doing that. I can't imagine she has many friends willing die for her.

  13. Jus_Wonderin

    Forget about her money. I want to be able to bend light rays around me and effect the tides as she does. How do I get there? Obviously my smoking and drinking are not helping.

  14. Isyaignert

    You'd think with all of her money she could have a little something done about that fugly disgusting growth at the end of her neck.

  15. Blueb4sinrise

    We interrupt this monster for a news update…………………….

    Damaged dam leads to evacuation along Tangipahoa River
    http://www.wafb.com/story/19417024/dam-in-pike-co

    Where: http://cfpub.epa.gov/surf/huc.cfm?huc_code=080702

    >Bobby Jindal had ordered buses to the area to help evacuate residents.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-1942940

    CNN UPDATE!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jason Whitely @JasonWhitely

    Kentwood, LA along the #Tangipahoa River is the hometown of Britney Spears. Officials say fans always steal "home of" signs.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Oh please. "Officials" disappeared those signs the exact minute Brit Brit got all skankified.

      /been there, know this to be true

  16. a_pink_poodle

    Rinehart, whose family iron ore prospecting fortune of Aus$29.2 billion

    Aaaaaaand fuck you, lady. I'll take my riches making advice from someone like Bill Gates who didn't inherit billions of dollars.

    1. Steverino247

      I'm gonna get me a horse, just about…

      Wait a minute, a team of Clydesdales couldn't move that bitch.

  17. kittensdontlie

    Being the world's bitchiest woman is not enough hate for her, she is also screwing her own children out of her inherited fortune….they must be ne'er do wells like the rest of us.

  18. Carabella1

    She clearly hasn't missed a meal. I wonder if she likes her servant meat rare or well done.

  19. MacRaith

    Why do people who inherit their wealth always imagine that they worked very hard to obtain it?

  20. Tundra Grifter

    Back when SNL was funny, Cheryl Tiegs said "If you need money, sell your name to Sears. I did and got a million dollars."

  21. Terry

    "There is no monopoly on becoming a millionaire," she said by way of encouragement. "Become one of those people who work hard, invest and build, and at the same time create employment and opportunities for others."

    Says the woman who inherited billions.

  22. SorosBot

    Wait, I recognize this person; the money comes from winning the lottery with the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42.

  23. BaldarTFlagass

    World’s Worst Woman And World’s Richest Woman Are Coincidentally Very Same Person

    And for the hat trick/trifecta, also World's Homeliest Woman!

  24. greypanter

    She suggests: "spend less time drinking or smoking and socialising, ". Obviously, eating is not something one need avoid to have lots of money.

  25. Toomush_Infer

    Is there some way to get rid of this audio ad, the one where some black, finally employed voice actor says: "Ah have not received the hope and change I was told about…." This is so clearly written by some rich white rebublican with no understanding about either the idea of hope (personal) or change (personal), that it offends me in a place where Ryan tells me I'm supposed to have a soul (corporate)…..

    1. Geminisunmars

      I complained yesterday and it went away, probably because the overlordessess heard me. Either that or because I muted my computer.

  26. poorgradstudent

    I was trying to figure out why despite working as a teaching assistant, an office grunt,, and a full-time student/researcher I was still dirt poor, but I see now it's all been because of my occasional bar hopping…that and the .1% of the time I spend on having a social life.

    Thanks, Baroness Harkonnen! I hope it won't take me too long to now become as wealthy as you!

  27. magic_titty

    Stop drinking, smoking, socializing, and start working hard, and someday you too can inherit 30billion dollars.

  28. deleted4877492

    Comparing ethics between the wealthy and the poor brings me to the conclusion that only the wealthy will enter heaven. The poor do not have the luxury of developing ethics when their bills have to be paid.

  29. savethispatient

    I can't believe the Wonkette has stooped to such blatant sexism; she's the World's Worst Person.

  30. CrunchyKnee

    "Family, religion, friends.. these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business." –Monty Burns

  31. An_Outhouse

    I'm not jealous of those with more moneyso I'm just going to continue drinking and smoking and socialising, and less time working.

    You only live once, bitch. Take your hateful selfishness and let it eat away your innards until you die a miserable, painful, lonely death.

  32. An_Outhouse

    I was going to call her a cunt but I like cunts. I didn't want to permanently associate that picture with something warm, moist, and pleasurable.

    1. Blueb4sinrise

      Well, ………'quick romp' might be unlikely…..might need a topo map and gps….
      still……….

  33. BloviateMe

    Ironically, Australian Mining is what her gyno calls it when he's using the ice scream scoop to deal with the built up yeast infection on that yawning cavern.

  34. mustangsavvy

    She's right. Minimum wage is too high in my native land. I mean, what do we what? A fucking living wage?! The idea. How would poor people know that they are you know….POOR? It would just elevate them above their station.

    (All snark aside – shut the fuck up Gina, you're an embarrassment to our country. Dickhead.)

  35. Dildeaux

    Find more comments from Gina and watch her live cam at: entitledinsultingchubbymethaddledchicks.com

  36. fuflans

    i read about this chick a while back. apparently she's mean as a skunk, is feuding with her family (obv) and is trying to hoover up as many australian presses as she can get to force a pro mining agenda.

    all in all, a delight.

  37. bibliotequetress

    Obviously this woman earned her wealth by being uncomfortably squeezed out of her mother's teeny-tiny vagina.

  38. rockyoumonkeys

    I just cannot get enough of hearing rich people who inherited their wealth talking about the virtues of hard work.

    Seriously, it's almost inspiring in a way.

  39. polnick

    Adults that can`t understand how to change a twenty dollar bill should be gassed along with those that never wipe their rear ends.

  40. anniegetyerfun

    To be fair, Australians are pretty much just like Americans, but with a cuter way of speaking "English". By which I mean, they are total assholes who also subjugated their native population and like to bomb countries that contain brown people.

  41. Peckerwood_Pete

    Ok… ok… whose the scientist who thought it would be cute to cross breed Mama Cass with Mama Fratelli.

  42. Baba_NinjaCat12

    She's the real world version of Jabba the Hutt, living in the desert of Western Australia.

  43. iamrrm

    She's stylin'! When you have a rockin' bod like that you definitely want to wear something sheer and show it off.

    1. Rotundo_

      They would have to extract the semen from him like they do elephants in zoos: insert electrode in rectum and juice him until he pops (and unlike the elephant it will take a crane to spread his cheeks and a team to find his appendage). After they gather that the quest that fertilization for Gina begins: Imagine the arduous journey that would be. Hitting the cervix would be like trying to hock a loogie through Notre Dame de Paris and hit the center of the stained glass window.

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      I think she's too mean to be even that. Yeah, she's fat and unappealing…but that picture shows a mean heart at the core.

  44. Dashboard Buddha

    I know folks frown upon commenting on how ugly someone is, but…hell, damn. But she is one fancy cosmetic bottle away from riding a scooter down the Maybeline aisle at WalMart.

  45. ttommyunger

    Fat, ugly, selfish and mean-spirited is no way to go through life-even if you are incredibly wealthy.

  46. Serfville

    Nicole Kidman's dirty toenail……on the barbie!
    PS: Good one Rebecca!
    You all are REALLY funny :)

  47. CindynEncinitas

    Winner and 2012 Champion of the grudge-match gruel Alabama state fair eating contest..

  48. ibwilliamsi

    I'm thinking that she would be well advised to spend some time getting lipo and a nose job.

  49. Negropolis

    Isn't Australia basically Florida if you spun it in the other direction and placed it below the equator?

Comments are closed.