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We knew that wagging finger in Bamz’s face was just Arizona Governor Jan Brewer’s sexxxy way of showing him she could be his naughty schoolmarm. We knew it the whole time, you guys! [Youtube, via Wonket operative “Vivek N.”]

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  • Barbara_

    She'll vote for anyone after several whiskey and vermouth, on the rocks. Hold the vermouth and the rocks. Hell, go ahead and keep the glass, it's all good to Jan.

    Toss in a carton of Pall Mall (unfiltered) and she will campaign for you.

    • She tried to seduce Marco Rubio with hand-made Mojitos. And by "seduce" and "hand-made", I mean she muddled the mint and lime with her bony, rock-hard finger and then waved it under his nose.

      • Barbara_

        Oh my, that is just awesome.

  • Lets hope the DNC plays this on a constant loop.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      That would be a froot loop.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      In the America I love*, this endorsement would be a kiss of death.

      *populated by arugula-eating, latte-sipping, pointy-headed libruls**

      **otherwise known as New England***

      ***except for the parts that vote like Alabama

  • tihond

    Once you wag at Barack, you never go back.

  • Lucidamente1

    Of course, after seven gin and tonics, anybody could say Obama instead of Romney.

    • Terry

      Especially if down deep they distrust Romney or ever hate him.

      • Arborista

        Oh, like that narrows it down!

    • Generation[redacted]

      O'Romney MittBiden, if you're going to be Lou Sarah about it.

  • Someone's state is in need of a Federal bailout.

  • orygoon

    FOUR MORE YEARS, BITCH!

  • bumfug

    Barry told her he wouldn't fuck her with Sununu's dick.

  • HogeyeGrex

    I am finding this very difficult to masturbate to.

    • Lucidamente1

      You're not doing it right.

    • Baconzgood

      I don't judge. That is one ugly man.

    • BrownWhiteBlue

      The key is to play multiple Jan Brewer videos at once.

  • TeaNuts

    Was that like an alternate universe or something? I'm confused.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Say what you will, but she was great as Magda in There's Something About Mary.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Was that the lady with vomit in a sock for boobies? I will never forget that as long as I live.

    • CthuNHu
  • MissTaken

    Leatherface is in the tank.

    • SorosBot

      Don't let her out, she might eat someone!

      • mrpuma2u

        Nah the only that leather faced scarecrow eats are the olives in her martinis, and the celery in her bloody marys. Once a week a cucumber sammich maybe.

    • doloras

      Ahhhhh, "in the tank". My favourite meme of 2008 returns.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    From your mouth to God's tanning bed.

  • Goonemeritus

    I have known naughty schoolmarm’s I love naughty schoolmarm’s and I can tell you when I close my eyes and think of naughty schoolmarm’s Jan Brewer is not who I’m visualizing.

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck the world. This is not a woman built to last. Or for fucking HD teevee..

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      are you implying that she didn't build her own ugly self?

      If the government is to blame for building her, then I need to rethink all of my beliefs about progressiveness.

  • Honestly, I would love to watch all these videos of evil dessicated old white people spewing their offal over all and sundry, but I just don't feel like further fucking up my already craptacular day.

    • prommie

      I must ask you to cease and desist your use of the word "craptacular." I claim trademark rights to this word, and I will only allow it to be used when referring to anything owned by or related to Donald Trump. His hair, his casinos, his Trump Tower and all the other developments that he sells his name to, they are craptacular, and the word is so essentially pefect when referring to things Trump, that it should not be used for anything else.

      • Biff

        If you own that, and Conan owns craptastic, what's left for the rest of us rubes?

        • Geminisunmars

          Crapubate?
          Crapexpeealoedocious?

          • fartknocker

            specrapular?

          • Geminisunmars

            Isn't that the thing that Catholics wear around their shoulders?

          • YasserArraFeck

            I thought that was alterboy's thighs?

        • Toomush_Infer

          Just plain crap….

      • Do not fuck with the Proms, he will rain his patent #s, ©'s and ®'s on you like Steve Jobs' own hellfire!!

        • prommie

          The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    BWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [too be fair, she's lying]

  • Callyson

    "secure our borders and therefore we can resolve all those other issues"

    Oh JFC, I am so tired of the wingnuts who seriously claim that "securing our borders" should be a top national priority. First of all, this is a ridiculous rant at a time when border crossings have *declined* and INS enforcement has *increased.* Secondly, immigration (legal or not) did not cause the housing crisis, the economic implosion, the increases in gas and food prices, or anything else that really *is* important.

    Bitch.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You know, I think she's right!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Depends on fire!

  • sbj1964

    Jan syndrome. Mittens,Mittens,Mittens.It's always Mittens!

  • Baconzgood

    She's drunk!

    • On her way back from the Politico party, prolly.

  • SorosBot

    Of course she wants Obama to be reelected; how will she racistly rage against the President and blame him for all her problems otherwise?

  • Callyson

    Though I do have to give her credit for her smooth moves on the dance floor in that "My Neck, My Back–GOP style" video from yesterday…

  • The Demrats are pushing hard for the Cryptkeeper Demo.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Whachoo talking 'bout, Witchiepoo?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Gee, those right wing womenz are just so much hotter than our lie-eral ones!

    On Bizarro World.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    It was Jan's amazing rusty dildo talking.

  • polnick

    Mestizo slaves cook Tortilla and Cuchifritos for Brewer, but she will not admit it. Big O would never allow a governor into his bedroom that prevents illegals from crossing the border.

    • MissTaken

      Yawn.

      • SorosBot

        Did that even have a point?

        • MissTaken

          None that I can see. Unless it likes thinking about Brewer going into the bedroom of the big, bad blah man.

          • SorosBot

            From polnick's past, I see he(?) has a bunch of comments complaining that rap exists, claiming the poor have it great and we need to cut social programs, and using lots of racial slurs, some of which I had never even heard of before; thanks to polnick I now know that "coolie" is a slur against Asians. Oh and calling Obama a pimp. So a typical racist troll, but he makes even less sense than most of them.

          • polnick

            The word PIMP is no longer a slur, it is a high paid and respectible position. Some work for the rich and famous and are called ROYAL PIMPS.

          • SorosBot

            Uh, no; it's totally a slur, especially the way racist asses like you use it.

          • T

    • Lasagna is also good. I like it cheesy.

  • Too much time in the sun will cause your brain to mix things up. Like when Santorum's sweater vest was trending so hawt — Jan was momentarily transported back to her youth cause she thought she was hearing "leather vest."

  • The thought of naked Jan Brewer trying to entrap my President made me throw up in my mouth a little.

  • Guppy

    If I'd put on my contacts this morning, I wouldn't have had to take off my glasses to facepalm.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Sounds like someone else should have been kicked out of the open bar.

  • Pithaughn

    How's those private prison profits doing Jan? No connection with you right? Just the free market satisfying a need in a cost effective manner.

    • Isyaignert

      Thanks for bringing that up. The whole "Papers Please" BS law was nothing more than Cruella de Boneyfinger's bro-in-law's business plan to expand his for-profit prisons.

      Smarten up Arizona and throw this POS out.

  • Steverino247

    Perhaps somebody should secure the liquor supply instead of the border.

  • Guppy

    Obama will kick out all the undocumented Canadians! Secure our borders!

  • Not enough blue pills could ever be manufactured…….

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT but a panel of federal judges (including a Shrub appointee) has struck down the Texas Legislature's latest attempt to keep the voting population of this fair state as Caucasian as possible. Heh heh. http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/08/30/77593…

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Cool!

    • fartknocker

      I read the AP article yesterday. Gubnor Goodhair and that piece of shit AG Abbott just had their asses handed to them. I'll be sure to bring that up in the next election since my POS Republican Homebuilder douchebag of a legislator co-sponsor that bill.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Proof that she doesn't know what she's saying.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I really like the Chris Walken basilisk stare that she has cultivated.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I must say that the quality of public servants has taken rather a nosedive over the last decade.

  • no_gravity

    Mittens turned her down.

  • alzronnie

    Here's how Jan gets that incredible facial skin tone: She rubs it with neatsfoot oil, wraps it up with a belt, and places it under the pillow.

  • comrad_darkness

    What if Barry doesn't want your endorsement, Jan? Did you think of that??

  • glasspusher

    Ms. Othmar?

    Wup whup wop wop wop wop…

    Yes, ma'am…

  • Schmannnity

    Would. Not. Hit. That.

    (Even with Ann Coulter's dick)

    • Isyaignert

      Man Coultergist really needs to have teh Adam's Apple shave for his sex change to be convincing.

  • Goonemeritus

    Elizabeth Warren or GTFO

  • kittensdontlie

    Sherman, to the Tubular Wikipedian Internet Machine:

    "She is the daughter of Edna and Perry DRINKWINE."

    Yes, she is a sot. The proof is in the imbibition surname.

  • sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much…

    • …the mental image of Jan Brewer keeps the stork away.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Somebody has been lying out in the sun too long.

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, to be fair, she lies wherever she is.

  • Aren't there some knives in the hotel kitchen that her face could be sharpening?

  • no_gravity

    How long before she walks this back saying it was not meant to be a factual statement? Cuz they do that in Arizona.

  • An_Outhouse

    When you go black, you can't go back. Isn't that right, Jan?

  • RedneckMuslin

    Whu -what? I want an explanation. NOW!

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    In other words, she's tired of being legally raped by Sheriff Arpaio. …I blow the Sheriff, but I never blew the Deputy…

  • An_Outhouse

    At least she wasn't so drunk as to endorse Osama, because he's DEAD!

  • bikerlaureate

    I'm somewhat relieved the reporter didn't ask for her opinion of Peace on Earth.

  • "If Osama is elected, and I know he will be, he'll continue what he started in Massachusetts a decade ago! (hic)"

  • Geminisunmars

    Oh, crapsicle! Now I won't be able to vote for Obama.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Nice try, but I'm still voting for Obama.

  • DahBoner

    Arizona just went Medical, like whoa, great kush dude…

  • Pat_Pending

    Ol' Hand Bag strikes again…

  • Did she say Obama or Osama?

  • rickmaci

    Sorry Jan. No mulligans in Stupid-on-video.

  • MrsConclusion

    Bitch be fuckin with mah HEAD, man. Huh?

  • ttommyunger

    Then she immediately wound her ass and scratched her watch.

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