CARTOON VIOLENCE  5:15 pm August 29, 2012

Emergency Cartoon Violence: Dick Morris Has Some Terrible/Hilarious Cartoons On His Website

by Josh Fruhlinger

Haha, remember when your Comics Curmudgeon used to literally read every single political cartoon barfed out by America’s political cartooning class, every week, and then make fun of them all for your amusement? Your Comics Curmudgeon remembers this, though the details are fuzzy and mostly he just thinks of it as the “dark time.” He thought he had left that life behind him, but then Buzzfeed deputy tech editor and noted collector of Internet insanity John Herrman alerted him to the fact that DickMorris.com seeks to offer insightful political cartoons to those who have wandered over looking for Dick Morris-related content (toe porn). The cartoons are pretty great! No, wait, did we say “great,” we meant terrible. No, we can’t decide! Like this one:

The way the handle protrudes three-dimensionally from a flat surface is freaking us out

Look at each individual droplet of secrets, lovingly hand-drawn and yet eerily similar to all the others, dribbling out of that misshapen … pitcher … thing. There are more, after the jump!

These comics are on a page of Dick Morris’s website billed as Cartoons By Clayton Liotta @DickMorris.Com, where they are described as “a combination of Dick’s sense of the absurd and Clayton Liotta’s skilled cartoonist’s hand.” Does this mean the “jokes” are Dick Morris’s? We will never know, because lord knows we won’t ask them, it’s too terrifying.

Is the non-Obama dude puking?

This cartoon nicely captures the gap between the whole oeuvre’s aspirations and capabilities by using the canonical New Yorker cartoon font for the caption but then misspelling Angela Merkel’s name. It also puts labels on everything because of course that is how a political cartoon works. That stimulus spending sure was pointy!

heh heh big package

Mr. Liotta mostly works in the greyscale shades of a #2 pencil, which makes the occasional intrusion of color into the cartoons all the more striking, like the scene of the girl in the red coat in Schindler’s List. What is in the larger package the Republicans offer to the American Woman? Is it the assurance that her rape-baby will be well cared for until the moment it pass through her cervix? Or is the “package” just meant to imply that Republicans have bigger dicks? Yes, probably.

What's wrong with its face WHAT'S WRONG WITH ITS FACE

Is that … is that a kangaroo? An enormous, obese kangaroo? We would not have thought to depict high gas prices as a terrifying kangaroo-demon, because we are mere critics rather than true artists.

anti-semitic

Why won’t Nobama allow job creators to enjoy the profits they’ve justly earned from the labor of thousands of Hebrew slaves?

Anyway, there are about a zillion of these so you should click over here and read them all repeatedly. Keep scrolling through and you’ll eventually hit the ones from the Republican primary season. Turns out Mr. Liotta was a Santorum supporter, we think? Or maybe Perry?

Yes, when I picture GOP presidential candidates, I visualize shoeless urchins

In conclusion, we would like to point out that there was a time when Dick Morris was one of the most influential advisors to the President of the United States, and now he’s a guy who has these cartoons on his website. The lesson is probably that you should find a partner who shares your sexual preferences or at least indulges them rather than hiring prostitutes. Toe sucking isn’t even really that weird, honestly. [DickMorris.com]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 161 comments }

ChernobylSoup August 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I'm kind of scared. And scarred. The kangaroo thing.

OzoneTom August 29, 2012 at 5:37 pm

On the other hand Lauri Apple has nothing to fear.

carlgt1 August 30, 2012 at 8:50 am

the kangaroo must represent that evil Australia controls the world gas (petrol) prices!

sbj1964 August 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Those cartoons look like something he drew,and his mother hung on the refrigerator.

HarryButtle August 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

They're not good enough for the refrigerator.

Jus_Wonderin August 29, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Definitely not the front of the Fridge.

Biff August 29, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Beer fridge in the garage, maybe.

Crank_Tango August 29, 2012 at 6:01 pm

She should have hung herself on the refrigerator, however that works.

Doktor Zoom August 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

The Onion's "Kelly" is not impressed.

carlgt1 August 30, 2012 at 8:52 am

"Kelly" is the great David Low compared to this hack!

NorthStarSpanx August 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Look at all that legitimate sperm making its way down that cracked cup looking to conceive life forcefully.

natoslug August 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I've pissed better cartoons than those.

bumfug August 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm

What do you bet the handle on the sweaty pitcher in the first cartoon is supposed to represent Obama's ear? Didn't see that didya? That's 'cause it wasn't labelled!

second_gen August 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Why is that monkey offering a tiny gift to Rapunzel?

Oh, haha! That's Obama! What a clever play by DICK.

Weenus299 August 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

That "Kangaroo" nose looks like it has a bra on it. And I guess the thing with the big ears melted into his head is Nobama.

Biff August 29, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I thought it's sunglasses had slipped.

BloviateMe August 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Add some paint by number color to these, and they are eerily similar to John Wayne Gacy's artwork.

Someone's crawlspace needs to be thoroughly searched.

Callyson August 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I read that as "John Waters' artwork."

Time for me to make a pub crawl…

natoslug August 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I shouldn't be so harsh — it takes a child's mind to come up with cartoons as poorly conceived and executed as those. And perhaps an incorrect number of chromosomes.

Jus_Wonderin August 29, 2012 at 5:30 pm

You are very, very clever!

natoslug August 29, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Very Very Clever is my middle name. Not Very Very Clever Slug.

Schmannnity August 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Did Chris Christie model for "Gas Prices?"

bobbert August 29, 2012 at 6:33 pm

You beat me to it fair and square.

HarryButtle August 29, 2012 at 5:24 pm

As an unemployed illustrator, I'd just like to humbly say, "fuck." And then head for the garage to enjoy some sweet, sweet exhaust fumes.

Jus_Wonderin August 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Wait! Before you do that, can I borrow your Ryobi Jigsaw. I need to find a way to unsee these.

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Why don't you just contact Dick Morass and see if he needs another (better) illustrator? Oh, never mind, enjoy those fumes.

Jus_Wonderin August 29, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Having been an art teacher. Having had art training. Having to currently evaluate art in the gaming industry. Still I am not confident of my following critique. But…

…me thinkz these suck azzz.

pdiddycornchips August 29, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Well, the art sucks but that giant kangaroo would make an awesome slot machine.

ChernobylSoup August 29, 2012 at 5:24 pm

No southern plantation scene with the 'didn't build this' theme?

not that Dewey August 29, 2012 at 5:24 pm

These "cartoons" look alarmingly similar to Napoleon Dynamite's pencil sketches.

Doktor Zoom August 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Eep.

ChillBill August 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Dick Morris is a lard-eating llama.

RadioBowels August 29, 2012 at 6:16 pm

LIGER LIBEL!

DemmeFatale August 29, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Nailed it, Dewey!
(Must have been a tough choice between "Trisha" and the "liger.")

tallmutha August 29, 2012 at 7:37 pm

He had to use like an infinity of pencils to get the shading right.

horsedreamer_1 August 29, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Jon Heder is a Mormon, so, presumably, in the tank for Rmoney.

(Of course, also confirmed Mormon Ken Jennings is a noted Leftist. But I think that's from the nerd, not the LDS.)

not that Dewey August 30, 2012 at 11:48 am

Dick Morris doesn't strike me as particularly "devout", except perhaps about toe-sucking and being a disingenuous hack. Not sure what angle they're working, here.

Arborista August 29, 2012 at 5:24 pm

The Dem offers Rapunzel the key to her locked tower, the GOP-er offers a transvaginal probe…

JackObin August 29, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Romney is a mormon. I can't think of anything more disparaging than that.

fuflans August 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

the egyptians didn't build those things by themselves.

they had slave help and then they killed them.

SorosBot August 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Nah; the pyramids were built by the Egyptian farmers, not slave labor as is commonly believed. Of course it was the Egyptian government that had them build, so failure once again.

fuflans August 29, 2012 at 5:46 pm

yes but by conflating egyptian building and burial practices (and throwing in a pinch of ottoman cruelty) i was hoping to create republican fan fiction.

Chet Kincaid_ August 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm

The real question is, what kind of idiot thinks the building practices of an ancient monarchy are applicable to an argument about the public and private sector in the 21st century, even as a dumb-ass, sub-fan art cartoon?

Biff August 29, 2012 at 5:49 pm

So Tom Lehrer was wrong? Again?

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Hebrew braceros built it.

UnholyMoses August 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Beat me to it!

No way in hell it was built with all slaves. One, they wouldn't have had the skills (stone masons, etc.), nor would there have been enough troops to keep that many slaves in line. Add in the evidence that the workers were very well cared for and the whole "slaves built them!" story falls apart.

But America?

Yeah. Built by slaves.

AnAmericanInTO August 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Well, whoever built them, there sure as hell weren't any crooked unions interferin'!

fishskicanoe August 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Actually the pyramids were probably the biggest public works projects of their time. Government spending writ large. Hardly any slaves involved. Gave employment to thousands of skilled rock cutters and artisans. What did Dickie think, the pharaoh went down there and assembled them on his weekends off? You'd think he'd have known better from watching the History Channel, between ads for Hoverounds and earphones that let you hear the TV again.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Why do you hate job creatin' Pharaohs? Those slaves had the same opportunities to become as successful!

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Bet they didn't have any pesky regulations interfering either!!

bikerlaureate August 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm

They choke the lifeblood out of patriotic pyramid schemes.

Mittens Howell, III August 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Dick Morris' cartoons look more substantive than his books.

SmutBoffin August 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

WOW LOOK AT THE PRESIDENTS BUTT IN THE EGYPT CARTOON IT IS A VERY BIG BUTT

weejee August 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Almost all Rethugs have big buttz, so they assume…

CommieLibunatic August 29, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Word. I could draw a better ass with a car tire.

not that Dewey August 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Given enough slaves, and enough time, we can accomplish nearly anything.

glamourdammerung August 29, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Dick Morris is whining about leaks or that sucking prostitute's toes were not involved?

Mittens Howell, III August 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Lead vomit.

fuflans August 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

i hope no one ever asks dick morris what's in that toy shop.

Hammiepants August 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm

The toy store one…seems to be lacking – a point? I don't think I eat enough fried foods and read the Bible enough to understand these…I am obvs not their target audience. Josh,I bet the "Pluggers" audience finds these a laff riot!

viennawoods13 August 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I see it as distracted by shiny baubles while Santorum is focused on the important stuff. Not sure what qualifies as distractions and what is important to Dicky and Ricky, though.

Hammiepants August 29, 2012 at 6:27 pm

No doubt Santorum heard somebody might be having sex for enjoyment and not strictly procreation so he's off to find a phonebooth so he can change into a giant jimmyhat and hunt down the perps. He is, after all, a dickhead.

emmelemm August 29, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Catholics no like Jimmy hats.

Hammiepants August 29, 2012 at 7:20 pm

True.

NorthStarSpanx August 29, 2012 at 5:29 pm

The Egyptians had help all right, they were called slaves. Or aliens. It's debatable.

weejee August 29, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Are these the guys who will be doing the art for the big telegram Lindsey Graham hollowgram tonight?

viennawoods13 August 29, 2012 at 6:15 pm

I read that first as Lindsey Graham swallowgram.

ChillBill August 29, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Yet another fine example of Conservative wit and artistic ability.

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 5:58 pm

What a loss to the scientific community that they didn't go into those fields.

Callyson August 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Yeah, about the US and German boats headed to the iceberg…that's a good depiction of what happens to the economy when an excessive fear of stimulus leads to premature austerity, thus choking off the economic recovery.

That is what that cartoon is about, right?

punkneverdies August 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Josh blacked out this part of his life after that GW-as-a-used-condom panel.

punkneverdies August 29, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Also, although it gives Josh tremendous mental anguish, I do greatly miss this feature.

Sharkey August 29, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Me too. I added Cartoon Violence to the Wonkette Wikipedia (regular features section) cause I like(d) it so much – a true thing! Not long after I added it, it stopped. That's me, Mr. Golden Touch.

punkneverdies August 29, 2012 at 5:54 pm

If it wasn't for Cartoon Violence i would have never come across joshreads.com

and Josh making fun of Pluggers panels is probably better than political cartoons.

DemmeFatale August 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I was SO excited to see this!
But…these "cartoons" are not worthy of Josh's snarking abilities.

(I had Matt Davies sign a cartoon for me, and we talked admiringly about you, Josh.)

SoBeach August 29, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I would expect nothing less from that website.

Boojum August 29, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Expecting less from Dick "Dick" Morris is always a winning proposition. There is no line under which he cannot crawl.

zippy_w_pinhead August 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Dick Morris "we drew that"

Butch_Wagstaff August 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

And without government monies.

Boojum August 29, 2012 at 8:47 pm

And it shows.

Jus_Wonderin August 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

And to think, a tree had to die for this. Please, someone toss this guy a Etch-a-Sketch.

Callyson August 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

What is in the larger package the Republicans offer to the American Woman?

A bill for the birth control that your health insurance won't cover if the Reeps come to power?

vodkamuppet August 29, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I figured it was a vacuum cleaner or maybe a toaster oven.

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Sammich maker.

Generation[redacted] August 29, 2012 at 6:26 pm

The world's largest vaginal probe.

Negropolis August 29, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Otherwise known as "lady fingers."

Fare la Volpe August 29, 2012 at 7:16 pm

It's seventy cents. The male vote gets a dollar.

AnAmericanInTO August 29, 2012 at 6:58 pm

A 7 Seater (and counting!) Baby Stroller?

pdiddycornchips August 29, 2012 at 5:34 pm

"What is in the larger package the Republicans offer to the American Woman?"

Tiffany whore diamonds designed to look like a giant Bayer Aspirin, obvs.

punkneverdies August 29, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I'm surprised none of these are on blue lined notebook paper.

GeorgiaBurning August 29, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Those would have cars or girls with big boobs.

TribecaMike August 29, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Graph paper would be way too sciencey.

DemmeFatale August 29, 2012 at 6:29 pm

But something to do when things get boring and yawny.

natoslug August 29, 2012 at 6:48 pm

I'm surprised none of these are on toilet paper.

SorosBot August 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Considering that the stimulus is the only reason the economy hasn't completely tanked, and the German-enforced austerity is responsible for the disastrous crash of EU countries like Greece, Spain and Italy, this idiot is illustrating the opposite of reality.

punkneverdies August 29, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Yeah aren't they now throwing out a lot of money at these countries anyway?

sullivanst August 29, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Yes, lots and lots and lots of money. On multiple occasions, stretching back years now.

Also too, this.

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 6:00 pm

And the reality of the opposition. Scarey.

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I have a hard time believe that Dick Morris is actually stupider than I give him credit for, even with this evidence in plain view. I mean, with that stimulus/Germany boat thing — does he just randomly combine symbols and then hope they make some sort of sense?

You would think that even the cartoonist might say "Hey, Dick Morris, this suggestion of yours doesn't have any coherent relationship to reality," or something equally helpful. Then again, this cartoonist did render a boat as some sort of flat-bottomed misshapen neo-cubist hash with President Obama standing upright on its tilting floor, so yeah, he wouldn't've been much help, presumably.

sullivanst August 29, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Funny that you chose to critique the American boat. The German boat makes even less visual sense to me.

Yeah, you just have to remember the cartoonist is a conservative, and then you'll understand why he did not question Dick Morris' nonsense.

Callyson August 29, 2012 at 5:36 pm

And no, they are not taking comments on Little Dick's website, so don't bother composing your art critiques…

Butch_Wagstaff August 29, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Well, if I were Dicky "Toes" Morris or Clayton "I-can't-draw-hands-or-feet-or-anything-else" Liotta, I'd wouldn't want to be told how much I sucked, either.

elviouslyqueer August 29, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Bless Clayton Liotta's heart. He still hasn't gotten over flunking out of the prestigious Draw Me! School.

TribecaMike August 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Everything he "draws" looks like a kangaroo, except for the kangaroo.

Sharkey August 29, 2012 at 5:55 pm

You know who else it looks like?

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Dick?

sullivanst August 29, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Chris Christie?

Blueb4sinrise August 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Oooo, oooo. Found a stockphoto of a drawing for Mr. Morris.
http://www.stockphotopro.com/photo-thumbs-2/stock

MacRaith August 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

A few minutes ago, I had no idea that Dick Morris had cartoons on his web site. Now I know that he has cartoons on his web site that I have no desire to ever see again. My life is enriched by this how, exactly?

vodkamuppet August 29, 2012 at 5:43 pm

The Egypt one has me confused. …They had help… Uh, yeah? Or not, maybe I guess? What the hell does this mean?

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Maybe that one of the most complex and far-reaching bureaucracies of its day, headed by a man who was thought to be a god with the power of life and death over all of his subjects, was actually a small business that didn't get any assistance from the federal government?

Yeah, I'd have gone with Noah and his ark maybe as a better metaphor — although the pyramids actually existed (or in this case, at least two of the three).

anniegetyerfun August 29, 2012 at 6:38 pm

It means that there are people who actually don't understand how the pyramids were built. Like, in any capacity.

sullivanst August 29, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Your major confusion is caused by assuming that it actually means anything. The faithful will see it, think "Obama sucks", and that will be all. The entire conservative movement is built on meaningless symbolism, nothing they say even makes sense, let alone has factual basis. It's a purely Luntzian enterprise.

elviouslyqueer August 29, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Oh lookie! It's a rendering of a middle class taxpayer hefting one of Chris Christie's delicious breakfast croissants.

TribecaMike August 29, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I'm not acquainted with that slang term for… oh god I'm going to puke

SayItWithWookies August 29, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Are you sure it's not one of his kidneys?

not that Dewey August 29, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Whatever it is, it appears to be making the middle-class taxpayer issue a stinky odor, as evidenced by all those squiggly lines.

Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Toes are okay. It's the toe jam you should watch out for.

punkneverdies August 29, 2012 at 5:52 pm

"By watch out for" you mean "go after" right?

BoatOfVelociraptors August 30, 2012 at 2:54 am
Geminisunmars August 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

You know what they say: Good things come in small boxes.

Nesnora August 29, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Shit usually has to get sold in a bigger package, as my Nana used to say…

DerrickWildcat August 29, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Morris is such a useless shit that he can only get face time with Hannity and O'Reilly. For some big time fun look up Morris' articles on Newsmax. Wonderful articles such as, "Joe the Plumber: winning strategy"

TribecaMike August 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Wow, that really is quite something.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 29, 2012 at 5:52 pm

There are many things that Bill Clinton should be asking forgiveness for. Unleashing Dick Morris on the world may be the worse.

Biff August 29, 2012 at 5:52 pm
kittensdontlie August 29, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Dick Morris is always at the forefront of everything political. We need not look any further than CONDI VS. HILLARY(2005), his classic work that will shine brightly as a beacon of political knowledge for untold centuries to come.

supernoun August 29, 2012 at 5:57 pm

A genius of our times or THE genius of our times?

I can't tell. I'll be staring at that evil-kangaroo-dragon-demon-chimera all afternoon.

Limeylizzie August 29, 2012 at 5:58 pm

The Kangaroo looks like a Thalidomide victim.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 29, 2012 at 7:52 pm

In fairness, so does Dick Morris.

Klek August 29, 2012 at 6:20 pm

What a shock, this guy bills himself as a former Hollywood professional who, of course, became 'fed up!' Here's a seductive yet political toe drawing that obviously got him his Dick gig: http://www.liottastudios.com/Liotta_Studios/SCREW

AnAmericanInTO August 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm

If Going Galt means he's confined within Dick Morris' borders, then good luck and have at it.

ahnc August 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Creativity and conservatism just don't mix.

DerrickWildcat August 29, 2012 at 6:26 pm

I know! He is terrible person.

Beowoof August 29, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Tom Toles job is still safe.

Generation[redacted] August 29, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I was going to make a point on the political statements contained in said "cartoons" but really – I've seen better drawings by elephants.

anniegetyerfun August 29, 2012 at 6:35 pm

We agreed not to make fun of Special Needs kids, guys. I think that these "drawings" represent an earnest attempt by a "very special" little person to understand and enjoy politics! We should be encouraging!

Toomush_Infer August 29, 2012 at 6:38 pm

You just don't understand! – this is political primitivism at its finest – kind of like displaying a toilet with a wide stance at an art gallery….

mavenmaven August 29, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I like the one with the elephant buttf#$%ing the donkey. http://static.dickmorris.com/wp-content/uploads/J

bobbert August 29, 2012 at 8:25 pm

So, this would suggest he wasn't a santorummer?

sullivanst August 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm

So I love that there's no doubt the person with the big package with the red bow is Republican, because the other one's blah. But, why is the Republican not standing up straight?

DHarcavy August 29, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I have better, and surely more sophisticated, drawings from my preschool grandchildren on the door of my refrigerator.

Nostrildamus August 29, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Remarkably good draftsmanship considering Dick was sucking Clayton's toes as he worked.

Warpde August 29, 2012 at 7:18 pm

"What is in the larger package the Republicans offer to the American Woman?"

Oh!… Oh!…I know this…..
Vibrating vaginal probe for the ladies pleasure.

CommieLibunatic August 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

By all that is Holy and Otherwise, I've seen tentacle porn rendered better than that. Hell, I could sneeze something better than that!

Misty Malarky August 29, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Art isn't easy.

-Stephen Sondheim-

Misty Malarky August 29, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Oh and:

Is Rapunzel's tower made out of asses?

SpeedoFart August 29, 2012 at 8:17 pm

'Or is the “package” just meant to imply that Republicans have bigger dicks? Yes, probably.'

Of course Republicans are bigger dicks than… oh wait. Have? Have bigger dicks than Obama?

AH HAHAHAHA HAHAHA!

fuflans August 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm

mr fuflans just walked by and said "everyone knows the old saying the about the peashooter and the giant kangaroo. duh."

mr fuflans makes me laugh so know i will make him grilled cheese.

sarjo August 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Did someone mention TOE SUCKING? Line up!

blueflowers August 29, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Barry's big ole butt makes a lot of appearances in these.

Muffaroo August 29, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Maybe Clayton Liotta should have used his -other- skilled cartoonist's hand.

(Extra ellipsis dots sighted. Perhaps a certain well-known conservative cartoonist has been giving him hot tips!)

ttommyunger August 29, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Well, in fairness, one shouldn't aim over the heads of one's audience; and Dick's followers are clearly functioning at the 6th Grade level.

Negropolis August 29, 2012 at 11:52 pm

These are horrible, like, right out of a high school newspaper horrible, and I'm not just talking technically. The themes are overly simplistic and the execution leaves much to be desired.

Pat_Pending August 30, 2012 at 12:13 am

This crap makes Mallard Fillmore a Pulitzer candidate…

iburl August 30, 2012 at 1:20 am

"Is that … is that a kangaroo? An enormous, obese kangaroo?"

I love it when the comics curmudgeon writes what my brain thinks.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 30, 2012 at 8:41 am

Walt Kelly just died again.

carlgt1 August 30, 2012 at 8:58 am

I have actually seen worse than this — when I used to troll the "Free Republic" uber-right-wing nutjob site there was one guy who would put up these godawful computer generated images, usually of Hillary & Bill Clinton looking like zombies etc.

I think Ray Liotta could draw better. By the way, is this the dread chupacubra in his drawing? http://static.dickmorris.com/wp-content/uploads/H

iamrrm August 30, 2012 at 9:23 am

The R in the Rapunzel toon is taking the whole "dick in a box" thing way too literally. You're supposed to cut a hole in the box not put your severed weewee in the box.

SaintRond September 3, 2012 at 9:23 am

Schrodinger's cock.

SaintRond September 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

According to retired FBI Special Agent Robert Kessler, one of the pioneers of criminal profiling, who started his career with, Ted Bundy (who by the way was the first to popularize the boyish bow tie look for young Republicans and carried on by that unspeakable little bastard Tucker Carlson), wrote that unchecked foot fetishism, ultimately leads to necrophilia.

Dick Morris is a toe sucker, yes. But in his heart of hearts, what he really wants is to cuddle up with dead women and eat them out, just like Ted Bundy! And from this perspective, Dick Morris, isn't just your average ineffectual little twerp. He's much, much more — a swollen little corpse fucker who really wants to stick his hateful little organ in dead people.

Peace… God bless…

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