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you didn't resurrect thatFox News is hinting/wishing/masturbating furtively to the idea that the “surprise speaker” at the Republican National Convention tomorrow may be a hologram of Ronald Reagan.

After a Tupac hologram tore up Coachella and CNN awkwardly had Wolf Blitzer be awkward with a Jessica Yellin hologram, it makes sense that the GOP would be on the cutting edge of questionably useful and questionably tasteful technology.

Although this is in no way confirmed or even likely, let’s pretend it’s confirmed fact and wonder how many simultaneous orgasms can fill a Tampa arena. More to the point, will there be more patriot puddles than when John Cena announced that bin Laden was dead in the very same arena?

Depends on how many people took their Viagra beforehand.


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