craz old men

Ron Paul Just Doesn’t Get Why The GOP Can’t Let Him Have Everything

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Ron Paul RevolutionRemember when we told you about all of those “factions” that the GOP has created and is now desperately trying to control and is whining about to the New York typists? Some of them, as it turns out, are easier to control than others. Like Ron Paul fans, who will not be placated because Ryan references the gold standard and because people shout “USA! USA!” at them whenever they try to nominate their candidate. What do they think this is, a political convention wherein members of their party nominate candidates of their choice according to a set of fixed rules and regulations? No, it is not anything like that; it is a teevee show of a coronation, and it’s Mitt’s Time.

Aside from Ann Romney’s assurance that what she has with her husband of forty-three years is a “real marriage,” the only compelling speeches and storylines of the night came from the candidates the Republican Party rejected. Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum and, even more consequentially, the absent Ron Paul.

We love you, The Nation, but we’ll remind you that there were in fact TWO compelling story lines in addition to Egg’s speech: Ron Paul’s yelling minions, AND the lone nut who threw food at the CNN camerawoman because ‘this is how we treat animals.’

[Ron] Paul was the Romney challenger who stayed in the race longest, and who won almost 200 delegate votes…Not that many years ago, coming second in the convention vote might have guaranteed Paul a convention speaking slot.

At this convention, it guaranteed him—and his supporters—treatment so rough that his supporters, the largest dissident block on the floor, openly accused party chair Reince Priebus and his team of “corruption.”

For the record, we think it just makes sense, for Optics, to seat delegations from Guam and Puerto Rico in the front and delegations from Maine and Minnesota in the back, and also to shout USA! USA! at anyone who even mentions. There is no problem that shouting USA! USA!, right in someone’s face, won’t solve.

As the New York Times noted: “Delegates from Nevada tried to nominate Mr. Paul from the floor, submitting petitions from their own state as well as Minnesota, Maine, Iowa, Oregon, Alaska and the Virgin Islands. That should have done the trick: Rules require signatures from just five states. But the party changed the rules on the spot. Henceforth, delegates must gather petitions from eight states.”

But Priebus did not just rewrite the rules of 2012. More ominously, he and the Romney team rewrote the rules of 2016. The party brass engineered a fundamental change in the next nominating process in order to assure that neither Paul—nor anyone else as interesting, or dissenting—will ever again be able to beat the establishment at its own game and win substantial numbers of delegates. The Paul delegates, many Tea Party conservatives and a number of renegade Romney delegates objected, creating the only real drama of the day, and the convention.

[…]

Paul Ryan has tried to secure Paul’s endorsement, claiming that the Romney-Ryan ticket will appeal to Paul’s supporters. After all, the platform references the Gold Standard.

Paul said Tuesday that his delegates felt they had been treated “atrociously.” And, no, Paul added, he will not be rushing to join the Romney team… “I have not endorsed the ticket,” Paul explained Tuesday. “I endorsed the principles I have been talking about.… I endorse peace, prosperity, individual liberty and the Constitution. I am more intent on that than on the politics.”

Sponsored Intermission

Ryan and Paul also both endorse a platform that would allow poor people to die of being poor, a personhood amendment, and a patriarchal society that uses religiously based law. USA! USA!

[The Nation]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Because he's a crybaby?

    • MissTaken

      USA!USA!

      • nounverb911

        Usa? Isn't some little town in Japan?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Now, China.

        • AbandonHope_

          Damned heathen, mentioning other countries like that. Where do you think we are, some.. uh… somewhere not in… that is…

          …U S A ! U S A !

          QED.

        • Arborista

          Naw, that's 'Obama'…

    • chicken_thief

      You say "crybaby" like it's a bad thing….

      ~ John Boehner, (R, Pussy)

  • IceCreamEmpress

    They wanted Paul, and Mittens gave them Paul. Why are the hyoo-mons complaining? DOES NOT COMPUTE

    I mean, it's clear that the Rmoney factory doesn't understand hyoo-mon nomenclature, or they wouldn't have called their flagship model "Willard Mitt Romney" as if that was a name.

    • Nibbler of Niblonia

      why do you say hyoo-mon like they do on that sexy vampire show. are YOU a sexy vampire? or are you hyoo-mon?

      • AbandonHope_

        I thought it was the Ferengi who said hyoo-mon. Are there Ferengi vampires now?

        • chicken_thief

          I though Ferrigno was The Hulk?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            No no no! Ferengi is a kind of Italian sports car, like Maserati or Lamborghini

            "We are the Lamborghini. Prepare to be assimilated."

        • Nibbler of Niblonia

          Of all Gene Rodenberry's creations, the Ferengi had the most anti-semitic subtext.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Jonah Goldberg thinks so too.

            Say…..you wouldn't happen to be….?

            (psst, not Rodenberry, Ira Steven Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe created the Ferengi)

          • Biff

            But profit!?!

        • SorosBot

          The Ferengi are obsessed with making money, ignore the arts and sciences and horribly oppress their females – they're basically Republicans.

          • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

            From what I recall, (and I am ashamed that I know this), they also DON'T ALLOW THEIR WOMEN TO WEAR CLOTHES!!

          • Biff

            You say this like it's a bad thing?

  • nounverb911

    Ron, man-up already and start your own fringe party. Then you can exclude whoever you want.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He can't, not yet. The thinking is the only reason he didn't announce a third party run was for Rand's sake. Maybe after the convention, or in 2016 when Rand is up for re-election.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    WONKETTE! WONKETTE! WONKETTE! WONKETTE! WONKETTE!
    (can't hear you, Paultards) WONKETTE! WONKETTE! WONKETTE!

  • Callyson

    But the party changed the rules on the spot.

    Why should they behave any differently at the convention than they do when they are in power?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    STOP THE COUNT!
    STOP THE COUNT!
    STOP THE COUNT!
    STOP THE COUNT!
    STOP THE COUNT!

    • nounverb911

      Count Chocula?

      • hagajim

        The Count was stopped last week, when he unfortunately passed away….1……2…..3…..mwaaahaahaaaaa!

        • Crank_Tango

          2 soon, ah ah ahhhhh.

    • el_donaldo

      Sadly the Count has indeed been stopped.

      • Geminisunmars

        Now that really is sad.

  • IncenseDebate

    Personally I never thought Paul was the cute one.

    • MissTaken

      Well he is the walrus.

      • IncenseDebate

        Yeah, but who was the Egg Man?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Matt Drudge. Are you not aware of all Internet traditions?

        • nounverb911

          Rafalca's sire?

          • chicken_thief

            Are you suggesting that the Romney boys had sexy times with the family horse/tax write off, Rafalca? I mean, I had not heard any rumors or allegations of that sort, but I do think it would be irresponsible not to ask the question.

        • hagajim

          Koo Kooo Kachooo!

        • Biff

          He was in Pink Flamingos.

      • nounverb911

        ?daed saw luaP thguoht I

        • IncenseDebate

          He was in a car crash and he lost his hair.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Turn me on dead man. Turn me on dead man.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            mih ssim ,mih ssim ,mih ssiM

  • Exhausted66

    Banner image equivalent to The Cracker Bay.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Alternative alt text: Dump Dump Revolution

    • Arborista

      Was 'Chump Chump Revolution' already taken?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Not quite the violent riot I was hoping for.

    • ChernobylSoup

      Hobbits tend to be nervous around full sized people.

      • IncenseDebate

        I spit my coffee out on that one.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I was hoping for a zombie apocalypse.

      • emmelemm

        I'm always hoping for a zombie apocalypse.

    • SorosBot

      Indeed, it seems like more of a quiet riot. So come, feel the noise…

      • BaldarTFlagass

        ♫ …Reps, fuck your boys ♪

    • Guppy

      Whatever happened to Second Amendment voting remedies?

  • rocktonsam

    Mittens will act all surprised and whatnot just like all the surprise birthday parties he was told of in advance.

    "what, who me?" oh you really shouldn't have.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    If only Mittens had a blimp.

    • IncenseDebate

      Paging Gov. Sammiches.

    • savethispatient

      It takes far too long to fly a blimp from it's home airfield in the Cayman Islands to Florida.

    • bikerlaureate

      That's rLOVEting.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Paultards have all the political clout of Donald Trump's flaccid penis.

    • hagajim

      Ewwww!

      • Mittens Howell, III

        The cream in my coffee curdled while I was typing that.

    • lulzmonger

      Being able to sweep entire states for a fringe candidate in the most ferociously lock-step party since Stalin died indicates there may be a bit more solidity there than Der Trumpenschwanz.

      However, much the same could be said of tapioca or wind.

      • HELisforHEL

        Oh lulzmonger, that one made me lolz.

  • Schmannnity

    Rand Paul is going to so get even with you some day RNC.

    • HistoriCat

      Yet another Republican with daddy issues.

  • SmutBoffin

    Now, everyone, let's shed a single tear for the legions of Paul supporters who valiantly defended their candidate's backwards nonsense against the equally-backwards-but-slightly-different nonsense that is the official GOP platform.

    • hagajim

      USA USA!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    FOUR LEGS GOOD! TWO LEGS BETTER!

    • IncenseDebate

      This is what they feed the animals.

  • MissTaken

    There are lots of empty basements and uneaten bags of Cheetos across America this week.

    • SmutBoffin

      Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
      The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
      And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
      But there is no joy in Paultardville — mighty RonPaul has DROPPED OUT.

      (w/apologies to E. Thayer)

    • Callyson

      There are lots of empty bottles of booze and uneaten food bank donation boxes across America this week.

      /also, too

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      "Johnny? Are you alright down there? I haven't heard you curse liberals this entire week!"

    • SorosBot

      And a great wail of morning was heard all across the World – of Warcraft.

    • IncenseDebate

      What becomes of the sad Paultarded
      Who have lost and are so downhearted

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Here I sit, all brokenhearted
        Wanted Ron Paul
        But instead I farted.

  • Not_So_Much

    Does Rand automatically inherit the Paultards when Ron finally goes off into the icy embrace of Ayn's dead bosom?

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Daddy's most precious legacy: an army of angry neckbearded sysadmins and retired football coaches with gun collections.

      If y'all aren't following the BitCoin saga, this is delightful.

      • HELisforHEL

        Best description of Paultards ever. Thank you.

    • garryboldwater

      With his endorsement of Romney, it's unlikely.

    • bikerlaureate

      Isn't that kind of patrician hegemony opposed to the most basic principles of Objectivism?

  • Callyson

    The party brass engineered a fundamental change in the next nominating process in order to assure that neither Paul—nor anyone else as interesting, or dissenting—will ever again be able to beat the establishment at its own game and win substantial numbers of delegates.

    Not surprised to hear that Mittens can't pitch a big tent…

    • hagajim

      Why, Egg already said on the teevee that he isn't stiff.

      • OneDollarJuana

        I'm sure his wife calls him "Little Willie".

  • StealthMuslin

    The Paultards have clearly never heard of double-secret probation, nor been told they were on it.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Bless their hearts; those Ron Paul supporters are so cute when they're mad.

  • sbj1964

    This is how Romney will deal with any American who dissents.Next stop GOP gulags,Mormon re-education camps?

    • hagajim

      Where's my majik underwear?

  • Baconzgood

    Gee, it's almost like they don't want these Paultards in the media.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    There is no problem that shouting USA! USA!, right in someone’s face, won’t solve.

    Obviously they just black out and string words together.

  • tihond

    GOOGLE WRONG PAUL!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Google Santorum!

      No, wait. Don't Google Santorum!

      • IceCreamEmpress

        Santorum Google!

        USA! USA! USA!

  • AbandonHope_

    Wow, fascist dicks changing the rules to stymie a fascist dick.

    I forget, who am I supposed to give a shit about here again?

    • hagajim

      Fascist dicks of course.

    • Callyson

      NOTK.

  • Nostrildamus

    Paul just can't believe the GOP would go out its way to marginalize minority voices.

  • Crank_Tango

    USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

    Sorry, what were we talking about again?

    • SmutBoffin

      How great the USA is. Pray continue.

    • Baconzgood

      Truck nutz and insulin chicken sandwichs?

    • JustPixelz

      Keep going. I'm starting to feel younger, thinner and smarter.

      • bikerlaureate

        …and gosh darn it, people like you!

    • bikerlaureate

      Amercia.

      And the patriots who want to save it from Big Gubmint.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    "But the party changed the rules on the spot"

    The GOP is just like trying to play a board game with a 4 year old.

  • poorgradstudent

    This kind of gets at why I flinch when people, especially leftists, talk about how Ron Paul and/or the Libertarians represent our Best Last Hope of breaking the two party monopoly. It's not just that the Paulists and even some of the more moderate Libertarians have an ideology that doesn't really take into account little things like "basic economic realities of the 21st century" but that they've given no indication that they'll handle themselves better than our current overlords; if anything, it seems like they'd be worse.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      an ideology that doesn't really take into account little things like "basic economic realities of the 21st century"

      It works for the GOP … you'd think the Paultards would be able to sell it just as well.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    The great cheeto-dust implosion of 2012. Boo-hoo.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Kris, you missed this little nugget from the Nation article:

    “I shook the hand of the American Dream. And it has a strong grip,” Santorum said.

    Ew. Just, ew.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Good. Fucking. Lord.

    • Baconzgood

      That reminds me, I should reread Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

      • Biff

        Living as I do in Bat Country, I heartily recommend this.

    • JustPixelz

      That was as close to a Sistah Souljah moment as we'll see from the GO-PEE'ers.

    • doloras

      "[The American Dream] came true. You're looking at it." – The Comedian, _Watchmen_

  • CrunchyKnee

    Needz moar BLIMPZ!!!1111!!1one1!!

  • MissTaken

    Oh god, what will happen to the blimp?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It will EVOLve

      • Guppy

        Hasn't Ron Paul proposed a constitutional amendment against evolution yet?

    • IncenseDebate

      He'll be fine once he gets back to Jersey and his big plate of fried clams.

    • Baconzgood

      Chris Christie spoke yesterday didn't he?

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      He went out for an ice cream. And to berate a teacher.

    • chicken_thief

      Maybe Lou Sarah will buy it and store it away along with her "Tour America" bus for her 2016 run. Also. Too.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Hell, Dems let Kucinich speak at the convention. It's basically the same thing.

    Of course, his time slot was 3:30am and his wife had to perform certain favors for Howard Dean… but at least he was allowed to talk.

    • chicken_thief

      Was DK's spousal favors the source of Dean's infamous yell?

      • MacRaith

        She has a pierced tongue. I'm just sayin'.

        • OurHoboSenator

          Couple coworkers of mine once drove Howard Dean for a couple hours, and one of the topics of conversation was the hotness of Dennis Kucinich's wife.

  • SorosBot

    "… I endorse peace, prosperity, individual liberty and the Constitution. "

    No you don't, Paul; you hate individual liberty and the Constitution, that's why you want to outlaw abortion and overturn the Civil Rights Act.

    • MissTaken

      He totally endorses the Constitution, as it was written in 1787. Anything after that, fuck off.

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

        Ehh, no he doesn't, he actually endorses the Constitution as it was written in 1777 because States Rights.

        Y'know, the one that was such a dismal failure that they had to scrap it and start over within 10 years.

        • MosesInvests

          Articles of Confederation libel!

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            Truth is an absolute defense against libel.

      • SorosBot

        Or that other Constitution that was written by a certain subset of states back in 1861.

  • chicken_thief

    Fucking GOP-ers think they are Bill Maher now with their "new rules" segment of the convention?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "But the party changed the rules on the spot"

    So, it's like the political equivalent of Calvinball?

    • oenspiek

      US politics is the continuation of Calvinball, by other means.

  • mavenmaven

    Today we are all Austrian economists.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Grocery List: Sausage, Beans, Rice, Chicken Flavoring, Those things I like, The brown candy circles, Can of garlic, P-Dope.

    RON PAUL 2012!

    • Veritas78

      Okay, this is just plain brilliant.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i've said it before and i'll say it again:

    give me a paultard over a bagger any day of the week.

    • garryboldwater

      I'll take a Paultard over an Obama Zombie OR a Bagger any day of the week.

      • SorosBot

        What the fuck is an Obama Zombie?

        • Biff

          Who was this before self-deportation?

          • SorosBot

            Can't remember the name now; he's the troll who was defending SC's voter ID law below, who claimed not to be a Republican but recited tired RNC talking points (and telling used the phrase "Democrat Party") who is apparently very thin-skinned and deleted his account after just a bit of criticism.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            His name was "gary_boldwater", because subtlety.

          • Negropolis

            ROTFLMAO!

          • Biff

            Oh, him. Fuck that guy…

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

          Seriously, everyone knows that Obama supporters are Robots, not Zombies.

          Obot actually works as a word. Ombies? Not so much.

          Hmm, on the other hand, Rahmbies does work, I'm surprised more Firebaggers never threw that one around.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Well — the only dignified thing to do is for the Paulians to stage a walkout and never vote Republican again, even if it slices off a small but significant chunk of the Republican base. Teach those GOP autocrats a lesson, libertarians — unless you'd prefer to just shut up and take order from Reince Preibus, that is.

  • orygoon

    "Ron Paul Just Doesn’t Get Why The GOP Can’t Let Him Have Everything"

    Even a seven-year-old would understand. MITT ROMNEY DREW THE GOLDEN TICKET.

    • Baconzgood

      But Daddy I want the nomination and I want it NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Did the GOP just run a game of Fizbin on an unsuspecting Paul??

  • Goonemeritus

    Fighting for TRUE LIBERTY is no vice; Doctor Ron Paul’s supporters shouldn’t take this lack of a reach around on their collective knees. I say fight on brave solders of liberty, there is no way those corrupt bastards in the GOP deserve your votes!!!!!!!

    • IncenseDebate

      They should stay home in their parents' basements on election night. They probably would have anyway.

      • Arborista

        More like all through Election Day…

  • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

    This is why I never play Calvinball. Too damned hard to win if you're not the shouty type.

  • Guppy

    What the Paultards can't appreciate is that the most important, fundamental document in the Republican National Convention (and the Democratic National Convention) is the script.

  • MacRaith

    Third Party, Paulistas. Come on, you know you want to…

  • An_Outhouse

    " Mitt paid for it, its Mitt's. Hand it over! Don't make me call your mother"
    – Ann Romney

  • Fox n Fiends

    Somewhere, in a platinum-plated dodo-feathered easy chair, Ross Perot smiles knowingly…..

  • Guppy

    House districts are gerrymandered to the point where the primaries are the only really competitive elections.

    In most states, the primaries themselves are closed elections, de facto if not de jure.

    Even if I agreed with the direct election of Senators, the long and staggered terms, as well as the chamber's own 3/5 filibustering rules, ensure that no meaningful change can come from there.

    Just about all states have a "winner takes all" system for presidential electors, and party rules (if not state law) restrains the electors themselves.

    On top of it all, there's the reprehensible American trait of relying on plurality, "first-past-the-post" elections.

    American democracy is about as hemmed in, managed, and scripted as the conventions themselves. As much as I can't stand "internet libertarians," I was still hoping for a convention upset simply because it would be something different

  • Biff

    So now they can cry about Agenda 21 and Rule 12. Good.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Can someone tell me why every Ron Paul sign I've ever seen looks like it was made by a four year old with a Magic Marker, and is always placed in some out of the way, completely inappropriate place, like a barren hillside next to a freeway or on giant pieces of poster board stuck in someone's apartment window or scrawled in red, white and blue across some skinny guy's bare chest? I mean, is there a Ron Paul style manual of which I'm unaware?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Not that many years ago, coming second in the convention vote might have guaranteed Paul a convention parking spot.

    fify

  • HeadsIWin

    Do you know who else changed the rules on the spot?

    Every asshole ever.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      John Calvin? Thomas Hobbes?

  • Biff

    I'm so proud of my homegrown Nevaduh Paultard contingent, you guys!

  • bobbert

    So far, this convention has had fewer vote-fights than I'd been hoping for.

  • BoroPrimorac

    The baggers who feel disenfranchised can send James O'Keefe and his cameraman to do an expose on delegate fraud.

  • ttommyunger

    Never trust a man with two front names, especially if he is a fucking idiot.

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    It may be a little late now, but based on a mid-June jaunt through Upper Michigan, Ron Paul had the alpaca farmer vote pretty much locked up.

    • Negropolis

      "Upper Michigan" as in Northern Michigan, or as in the UP?

      You want to know what's cool? Dem turnout during the primaries were higher, up there, this year. In fact, the greatest increase in turnout came from the UP, which bodes well for November. We should be able to take back the state house seats we lost up there in 2010 and return a Dem congressman for Michigan's 1st congressional district.

      • TavariousChinaSmith

        Yes, you guess it. I was a yooper for the day though looks like I didn't get the terminology quite right. I did eat a pasty with rutabaga though, if that counts for anything.