Arianna Huffington’s ‘Oasis’ Lounge Is the Only Place In All Of Tampa That Will Let Michael Steele In

  hot pix

Did you know that the first black chairman of the RNC was fired on Martin Luther King Day? We are not going to look it up, we are sure this chick Miranda was right about it, she seems like the kind of person who would be right about stuff. And even if Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day, it seems like the kind of thing the RNC would do, so we are just going to go with it. Did you also know that Michael Steele was not invited to participate in this Republican National Convention, like at all? We read that somewhere, it is probably also true. Him and Sarah Palin, man, the UNINVITED.

But there is one place that is open to anyone (if you are media, and are on the guest list, or just say like heyo lemme in), and that is the Huffington Post’s Oasis lounge, where they feed you and give you free massages — which, weirdly, are apparently free for Arianna too, as she is allegedly paying the masseuses as much as she is paying her bloggers? — and facials and rub and tugs and pomegranate juice and there are white carpets and blue lights and Laura Ingraham frowning at her laptop. We are going back there right now, for our sex-orgy. (We tipped the girl yesterday $20 for our sex-orgy, because we are not Arianna Huffington.)

Anyway Michael Steele was there yesterday, and he was super nice, and we had walked about three miles to get to the Oasis thingy and we were soooo sweaty and he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back to take like four pictures in a row, and he was really nice about it. We invited him to our party, but he didn’t come. Neither did Robert Gibbs, who we also invited, when we saw him by our office later that day in the Hyatt lobby bar, and who acted like he didn’t know what Wonkette was, whatever, Gibbs, you fucking dirty liar.

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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170 comments

  1. MLHencken

    So nice that Arianna has recovered from the blistering attack yesterday from Donald J. Doucheface.

    But where is Notorious G.O.P.'s hand in this picture?

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    "We invited him to our party, but he didn’t come. Neither did Robert Gibbs, who we also invited,"

    Eh, fuck the Bee Gees anyway.

  3. Jus_Wonderin

    That really is a good photo, and I will take your word for it that he is nice. I could believe your word if you hadn't set his left leg on fire before the photo was taken.

  4. ChernobylSoup

    So the Huffington Post party has WHITE carpet for everyone to WALK ON. What is it with liberals and white guilt?

  5. MLHencken

    We all know Gibbs reads Wonkette constantly. I'm just trying to figure out what his commenter alias is. Barb, perhaps?

    REVEAL YOURSELF, GIBBS.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      (Raises hand) Guilty as charged.

      Just kidding. But I was Campbell Brown here for awhile, back in the day of the 50-foot ads. (My first first foray in crossdressingcommenting.) And a former employee of mine was commenting as me a whole bunch, even though I walked him through the process of setting up his own account.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    "he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back"

    After the photo op, when you weren't looking, he sniffed and then licked the palm of his hand.

    1. chicken_thief

      I was thinking that it was a good thing he used his (white) palm otherwise that blah stuff might 'of rubbed off.

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          I think you have him mixed up with D'nesh D'Seuss, author of such Home School Market children's books as "One Fish, Two Fish, White Mom, Hate-Filled Black Tribesman Dad".

    1. FakaktaSouth

      They sure as heck will after Saturday, whether they like it or not. Tiny Fearless Leader Becs has been way too chummy with some of these folks at the RNC. I'ma have to rub up on her and get some of the stank off.

      1. Boojum

        Well, save the Rapture and the creek don't rise, it is my firm intention to rub up on both y'all, one at a time or all together.

      2. HistoriCat

        I'ma have to rub up on her and get some of the stank off. There better pictures of this or there will be hell to pay!

        1. FakaktaSouth

          Really fuzzy pictures from a camera phone someone has had at the bottom of their purse for weeks – but pics none the less, I promise. (I can't honestly speak to Rebecca doing such, but I'm a "take my picture" girl from birth.)

  7. Goonemeritus

    “Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day”

    If this is to be a new GOP tradition they will have to fire Mittens on Charles Ponzi’s birthday which I am going to say falls on November 6th.

  8. Lascauxcaveman

    Becky, is that really tall dude you're with Glenn Rice? Maybe you and Sarah Palin really could have something in common.

    1. weejee

      Lascaux, have you read The Caves of Perigord? It's a mystery that bounces from now, to WWII, to the nameless Michelangelos of Lascaux.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        No, but I'll check my local library for that one, being mildly interested in my artistic cousins of olde.

  9. weejee

    So HuffPoo thinks that feetz are people too? Mehbe they should set up Mark Sanford Memorial playing footsie booths on the Appalachian and Pacific Crest Trails?

          1. emmelemm

            You have a Finnish cousin?? Oh yeah, you elaborated on Finnish mythology in a comment once upon a time.

            Hyvää päivää!

  10. Ducksworthy

    So the Republicans are embarrassed by Michael and Sarah so they brought in Santorum(tm) and Christie?

    1. comrad_darkness

      It was such a terrible moment of sanity that they had to take a long dip into the crazy pool to compensate.

  11. elviouslyqueer

    Becca, if you insist on going back for the sex-orgy and Laura Ingraham is still there, please kick her in the nuts for me. Kthx!

  12. freakishlywrong

    "he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back"
    Or: 11 and 1/2 months out of the year in Flo-riduh.

  13. freakishlywrong

    I don't find him as loathsome as I did when he was pimpin' for Righty. Maybe some of that sweet, sweet librul media is rubbing off on him.

    1. BoatOfVelociraptors

      Sure, he's republican, but he never seemed to have that stick up the ass American Psycho Business Card Analyzing thing going on.

  14. SayItWithWookies

    I'll bet most Republicans are a lot nicer when they're no longer in positions of responsibility. More of them should try it — at the very least it would be fun prying their fingers from their office doorways.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I also hated another Brit band of that era, and not because of their music, but their name. You know: Bush.

      1. Baconzgood

        They sucked too. A friend once said to me "you know why they call it 'alternative' music Baconz? Because if you don't listen to good music that's your alternative."

    2. Mumbletypeg

      I for the longest time couldn't understand why people *harshed* on Oasis when I found their first album appealing enough for repeat listening!
      THen someone played for me a cover of Wonderwall, that sounded like it should've been a parody in its earnestness, but then I learned it wasn't a parody, and earnestness begat earnestness, then I was like OK Now I get it, the reason for y'all's derisive stance; tou-fuckin'-ché.

  15. Incitefully_Joe

    You'd think that with his expertise in high-end lesbian bondage-themed lounges, Michael Steele would have been an optimal co-organizer of the Tampa RNC, at least in an unofficial capacity.

  16. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    When will you people get it through your heads? The years 2000-2010 did not occur. They were wiped out by a Muslim attack that left Barack Obama in power to destroy the country and start a new Caliphate. It was not until the Republican party returned from a secret hiding place created by God to save our fair nation that time started again.

    Haven't you been paying attention to the convention?

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Go to a Young Republican Sex Orgy. Sure, it involves a lot of alcohol and ruffies, but you will get the idea before you pass out and find yourself left at the service entrance of the convention center all bruised and sore.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I believe his big ears are an indicator of a long life…of his maternal and paternal grandmothers.

    2. TootsStansbury

      Damn it. Do they hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can he tie them in a knot? Can he tie them in a bow?

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    "if Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day, it seems like the kind of thing the RNC would do"

    I dunno, maybe Emancipation Proclamation Day. Or on Juneteenth.

  18. ttommyunger

    "We invited him to our party, but he didn’t come. Neither did Robert Gibbs, "- Oh well, two less white guys, what the Hell…

  19. Mahousu

    I didn't realize Michael Steele was 7 feet tall.

    BTW, I checked the mighty Wikipedia, and it looks like he was let go the Friday before MLK Day, no doubt so they wouldn't have to pay him for the holiday.

      1. BarackMyWorld

        The smile is more Starbuck than Peggy Olsen. But, to be fair, Elizabeth Moss doesn't even look like Elizabeth Moss when she's playing Peggy.

  20. kittensdontlie

    With all those facials, rub & tugs and pomegranate juice on white carpets and before blue lights(not to mention the various orgies), a no-doubt surprised Wonkette crew now knows how magnificently those other bloggers live. Before defections occur, Wonkette needs to take their staff to a new level of luxury.

  21. MacRaith

    I'm sure Donald Trump is outraged about this, for reasons that he thinks he can clearly articulate but actually can't.

  22. polnick

    The hunt for America`s poor will end in failure, they do not exist. After years of interviewing patrons of homeless shelters, senior citizen centers, and soup kitchen, I have not met one person who is not well fed or sheltered. But most complained about not having enough cash, for the deserving I donated a dime.

    1. actor212

      Interesting. If you're looking for people poorly fed and sheltered, why do you go to places where, um, they get free food and a roof over their heads, courtest us liberals?

      Oh wait, let me answer that one for you. You're scared of being alone on the streets, right?

      How's the trolling going? You're not very convincing, by the way. You need more "God" shit in your shpiel.

      1. polnick

        <p style=”margin:0in 0in 10pt”>There NO person in America without food and shelter because the most downtrodden know how to get a freebie. The word POOR should not be applied to people, it is wrong and demeaning.

  23. Katydid

    Sure he was nice last night, but throw one little Oreo cookie at him, and he gets all bent out of shape.

  24. OneYieldRegular

    That HuffPost headline this morning about Ann Romney Steele-ing the show is beginning to make sense.

  25. mavenmaven

    The Republicans didn't ask him to do a little softshoe shuffle for the entertainment of the conventioneers?

  26. James Michael Curley

    Michael Steele wasn't 'fired' he lost his bid for reelection. After six or seven votes to Reince Priebus. Don't remember all that much as I was a little raged out over the fact that one of the candidates was that pus filed skin tag who wore the 'Purple Heart Band-Aide" on her cheek all through the 2004 Republican Convention.

  27. carlgt1

    gee first you help that idiot "Special Ops Swift Boat Group Against Obama" post their stupid video, now you're pal-ing around with Steele — Orange County has definitely rubbed off on you!

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "definitely rubbed off on you!"

      Didja see the red dress in the previous post? I had to go to the men's room.

  28. Steverino247

    Shit, that guy must be almost as tall as I am. I wear better t-shirts, though, right Editrix?

  29. bringmeanaxe

    I don't agree with his politics, but Michael Steele is what the current Republican Party sadly lacks: a class act.

  30. barto

    Mebbe Gibbs & Steele had a date for some hot mano a mano action therefore could not accept yer invite.

  31. TheGyrus

    The RNC's new Black Friend is Herman Cain, who spoke yesterday – they don't need Michael Steele anymore.

  32. marconidarwin

    Well, take out that guy in the background, and then take out the self-loather, and this is not a bad faphoto.

  33. AlNewMan

    "…and we were soooo sweaty and he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back …" Oh my Rebecca, that Steele is one lucky dude after all.

  34. fuflans

    so do i have this right: palin and akin and steele are all persona non grata?

    is joe walsh there?

    do we have a list like this for next week?

    so many questions about big tents (and i don't mean christie's)

  35. TribecaMike

    Huffington is so slick…

    How slick is she?

    Huffington is so slick she gets page click $$ from articles that just mention her name.

  36. iamrrm

    If Steele was shirtless editrix could stand there and suckle on his nipple without getting a neck crick. How convenient.

Comments are closed.