hot pix

Arianna Huffington’s ‘Oasis’ Lounge Is the Only Place In All Of Tampa That Will Let Michael Steele In

Did you know that the first black chairman of the RNC was fired on Martin Luther King Day? We are not going to look it up, we are sure this chick Miranda was right about it, she seems like the kind of person who would be right about stuff. And even if Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day, it seems like the kind of thing the RNC would do, so we are just going to go with it. Did you also know that Michael Steele was not invited to participate in this Republican National Convention, like at all? We read that somewhere, it is probably also true. Him and Sarah Palin, man, the UNINVITED.

But there is one place that is open to anyone (if you are media, and are on the guest list, or just say like heyo lemme in), and that is the Huffington Post’s Oasis lounge, where they feed you and give you free massages — which, weirdly, are apparently free for Arianna too, as she is allegedly paying the masseuses as much as she is paying her bloggers? — and facials and rub and tugs and pomegranate juice and there are white carpets and blue lights and Laura Ingraham frowning at her laptop. We are going back there right now, for our sex-orgy. (We tipped the girl yesterday $20 for our sex-orgy, because we are not Arianna Huffington.)

Anyway Michael Steele was there yesterday, and he was super nice, and we had walked about three miles to get to the Oasis thingy and we were soooo sweaty and he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back to take like four pictures in a row, and he was really nice about it. We invited him to our party, but he didn’t come. Neither did Robert Gibbs, who we also invited, when we saw him by our office later that day in the Hyatt lobby bar, and who acted like he didn’t know what Wonkette was, whatever, Gibbs, you fucking dirty liar.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • smitallica

    He looks good. I guess not having to constantly lie for whitey agrees with him.

    • Biff

      Now he doesn't have to, he does it because he wants to.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He's tall. Or Editrix is short. Or he's standing on a phone book. Or she's in a ditch.

    • WhiteyMcFlyover

      What?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "facials." Heh-heh.

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    So nice that Arianna has recovered from the blistering attack yesterday from Donald J. Doucheface.

    But where is Notorious G.O.P.'s hand in this picture?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Just don't be there at midnight, or you'll have to send your camel to bed.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I always thought it was "sing your camel to bed," but I see you're right.

      And then there's the folks who think it's "Midnight After You're Wasted"

      • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Jim Anchower libel!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Lloyd George knew my father. Father knew Lloyd George.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Lady Mondegreen approves

    • WhatTheHeck

      One hump or two?

      • glasspusher

        Dromedary Sex: everything you wanted to know about camel humps

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Are Rub'n Tugs the currency of bloggers?

    /rethinking past career path/

  • Barbara_

    How much for a "happy ending?"

    • Boojum

      For you? A smile.

      • Barbara_

        Thanks Boojum, I just smiled.

        • Steverino247

          Well, there goes several quarts of jizz. Could you warn us all first next time?

        • Boojum

          And I had to change my undies, so we're even.

    • Doktor Zoom

      $700 million or so, and we have to wait until November 6 to find out.

      • Barbara_

        Good one, Dok.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "We invited him to our party, but he didn’t come. Neither did Robert Gibbs, who we also invited,"

    Eh, fuck the Bee Gees anyway.

    • UW8316154

      I thought he was dead…?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I thought it was the ghey one.

        Oh. Wait.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    That really is a good photo, and I will take your word for it that he is nice. I could believe your word if you hadn't set his left leg on fire before the photo was taken.

  • ChernobylSoup

    So the Huffington Post party has WHITE carpet for everyone to WALK ON. What is it with liberals and white guilt?

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    We all know Gibbs reads Wonkette constantly. I'm just trying to figure out what his commenter alias is. Barb, perhaps?

    REVEAL YOURSELF, GIBBS.

    • chicken_thief

      Nah, he ain't that funny.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      (Raises hand) Guilty as charged.

      Just kidding. But I was Campbell Brown here for awhile, back in the day of the 50-foot ads. (My first first foray in crossdressingcommenting.) And a former employee of mine was commenting as me a whole bunch, even though I walked him through the process of setting up his own account.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        That is some Marvel Comics-grade retconning!! Are you really Norman Osborn?!

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      If I were him I would start accusing others of being him …

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Unless he was trying to pull a fast one, like in "whoever smelt it, dealt it".

    • eggsacklywright

      Who cares? He's a hippie-punching turd.

    • Crank_Tango

      I think it was Neilist.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back"

    After the photo op, when you weren't looking, he sniffed and then licked the palm of his hand.

    • Boojum

      Like you wouldn't?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I don't know if I would be that subtle.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Right? Cut out the middle man. Lick the back.

          No, wait. I have that backwards, don't I? It's liquor in the front, poker in the back.

    • chicken_thief

      I was thinking that it was a good thing he used his (white) palm otherwise that blah stuff might 'of rubbed off.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I'd go straight for the back.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      So actor212 is Michael Steele?!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I deny that charge. I don't wear glasses. Often.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Good thing it wasn't Herman Cain or he'd be touching other sweaty bits.

  • Baconzgood

    "HEY, MF'er where's my massage?"

    -Michael Steele-

  • SmutBoffin

    THAT'S NOT THE REAL STEELE HE HAS NO MOUSTACHE RUN

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Lol, I thought he was Indian.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Thank you beddy much, please vote again!"
      —in Apu Nahasapeemapetilon voice

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      You're confusing him with D'Nesh D'Voidafunk, acclaimed director of "Obama's Berserker Rage".

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

        Are you sure you're not confusing him for D'nesh D'sousaphone, who has written extensively about the supposed parental origins of Obama's anti-Imperial March?

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          I think you have him mixed up with D'nesh D'Seuss, author of such Home School Market children's books as "One Fish, Two Fish, White Mom, Hate-Filled Black Tribesman Dad".

        • Steverino247

          Liberty Bell March libel!!!

          • bobbert

            "It'ssssss…"

  • Boojum

    They know who Wonkette is at Manuel's, is all I know.

    • FakaktaSouth

      They sure as heck will after Saturday, whether they like it or not. Tiny Fearless Leader Becs has been way too chummy with some of these folks at the RNC. I'ma have to rub up on her and get some of the stank off.

      • Boojum

        Well, save the Rapture and the creek don't rise, it is my firm intention to rub up on both y'all, one at a time or all together.

      • HistoriCat

        I'ma have to rub up on her and get some of the stank off. There better pictures of this or there will be hell to pay!

        • FakaktaSouth

          Really fuzzy pictures from a camera phone someone has had at the bottom of their purse for weeks – but pics none the less, I promise. (I can't honestly speak to Rebecca doing such, but I'm a "take my picture" girl from birth.)

  • pdiddycornchips

    $20 for a sex orgy? Did you ask for the secret service discount?

  • CrunchyKnee

    Tuck in your shirt, Mr. Steele, you look like a hipster.

    • chicken_thief

      He uses it as kinda of a basket to catch the peanuts people toss to him.

  • Goonemeritus

    “Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day”

    If this is to be a new GOP tradition they will have to fire Mittens on Charles Ponzi’s birthday which I am going to say falls on November 6th.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Becky, is that really tall dude you're with Glenn Rice? Maybe you and Sarah Palin really could have something in common.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Lascaux, have you read The Caves of Perigord? It's a mystery that bounces from now, to WWII, to the nameless Michelangelos of Lascaux.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        No, but I'll check my local library for that one, being mildly interested in my artistic cousins of olde.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    So HuffPoo thinks that feetz are people too? Mehbe they should set up Mark Sanford Memorial playing footsie booths on the Appalachian and Pacific Crest Trails?

  • SexySmurf

    "Where are the tied-up white lesbians at?"

    -Michael Steele

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      "Where are tied up white lesbians at?"

      Michael Steele All non-closeted Republicans in Tampa.

      Corrected.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Just make sure you don't use any contraceptions at the sex orgy.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      If it is a legitimate sex orgy, I didn't think you had to.

  • Limeylizzie

    I find that Michael Steele to be very attractive, as is Rebecca, BRB.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      He is the least repulsive of the black sellouts — perhaps even a deep-cover OINO!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        OINO? He's my cousin from Raavaliema?

        • James Michael Curley

          Oreo In Name Only – clever.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Oddly, that describes cousin Oino Raavaliema as well…

          • emmelemm

            You have a Finnish cousin?? Oh yeah, you elaborated on Finnish mythology in a comment once upon a time.

            Hyvää päivää!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Mites menee?

            And that's about the extent of my knowledge, unless you want to get scatological.

            Dad was a carpenter.

      • bobbert

        Oh, I don't know…

  • Ducksworthy

    So the Republicans are embarrassed by Michael and Sarah so they brought in Santorum(tm) and Christie?

    • comrad_darkness

      It was such a terrible moment of sanity that they had to take a long dip into the crazy pool to compensate.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Becca, if you insist on going back for the sex-orgy and Laura Ingraham is still there, please kick her in the nuts for me. Kthx!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Laura is the only one of their screeching harpies who is halfway attractive.

  • punkneverdies

    So who's staking out the male strip club in Tampa?

    • tihond

      Limbaugh?

    • UW8316154

      Marcus?

  • sbj1964

    It's cold outside for a pimp even in Tampa.

  • freakishlywrong

    "he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back"
    Or: 11 and 1/2 months out of the year in Flo-riduh.

  • garryboldwater

    I wonder if the Oasis will let Ron Paul in?

    • tihond

      Only if he can play the solo from "Champagne Supernova"

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Came for the Gallagher jokes, leaving happy

        • emmelemm

          The watermelon guy?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            His mallet could only have helped Oasis.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            I dunno, I think he fits in well enough with rest of the RNC.

  • Beowoof

    Oh man cleavage again. I need to go for a long bike ride now.

  • freakishlywrong

    I don't find him as loathsome as I did when he was pimpin' for Righty. Maybe some of that sweet, sweet librul media is rubbing off on him.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Sure, he's republican, but he never seemed to have that stick up the ass American Psycho Business Card Analyzing thing going on.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I'll bet most Republicans are a lot nicer when they're no longer in positions of responsibility. More of them should try it — at the very least it would be fun prying their fingers from their office doorways.

  • chicken_thief

    I bet Robert Gibbs was really popular at the GOP Convention.

  • Baconzgood

    Oasis sucks. I never understood the appeal of their whiney english suck music!!!!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I also hated another Brit band of that era, and not because of their music, but their name. You know: Bush.

      • Baconzgood

        They sucked too. A friend once said to me "you know why they call it 'alternative' music Baconz? Because if you don't listen to good music that's your alternative."

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      I for the longest time couldn't understand why people *harshed* on Oasis when I found their first album appealing enough for repeat listening!
      THen someone played for me a cover of Wonderwall, that sounded like it should've been a parody in its earnestness, but then I learned it wasn't a parody, and earnestness begat earnestness, then I was like OK Now I get it, the reason for y'all's derisive stance; tou-fuckin'-ché.

  • Exhausted66

    "the first black chairman of the RNC was fired "

    "and he was super nice,"

    Huh.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    You'd think that with his expertise in high-end lesbian bondage-themed lounges, Michael Steele would have been an optimal co-organizer of the Tampa RNC, at least in an unofficial capacity.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    When will you people get it through your heads? The years 2000-2010 did not occur. They were wiped out by a Muslim attack that left Barack Obama in power to destroy the country and start a new Caliphate. It was not until the Republican party returned from a secret hiding place created by God to save our fair nation that time started again.

    Haven't you been paying attention to the convention?

    • freakishlywrong

      Can't tell if joking. (Too good).

  • owhatever

    Wankette?

  • SorosBot

    I never get invited to the good sex orgies. :(

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      MissTaken lives in San Francisco. Surely she knows a few.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      If you only go to bad sex orgies, you might be doing something wrong.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I prefer the bad orgies as I only go to critique.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Cleaning up the peanut butter after a sex orgy gone bad is always a chore.

      • elviouslyqueer

        And you'd be amazed at all the places Jello can hide.

        • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Nothing is worse than when the whipped cream starts to go bad.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      There's a *bad* sex orgy?

      Cuz I figure, as long as I'm getting some, it's all good.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Go to a Young Republican Sex Orgy. Sure, it involves a lot of alcohol and ruffies, but you will get the idea before you pass out and find yourself left at the service entrance of the convention center all bruised and sore.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Did he bring a puppy for you?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Not much to add here, except damn that man's ears are big.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I believe his big ears are an indicator of a long life…of his maternal and paternal grandmothers.

    • TootsStansbury

      Damn it. Do they hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can he tie them in a knot? Can he tie them in a bow?

    • Biff

      Is that an elephant joke?

    • freakishlywrong

      You know what they say about big ears, right?

      • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

        Lots of wax?

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Big muffs?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Considering how many dicks he had to suck to be chairman, they probably got stretched.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "if Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day, it seems like the kind of thing the RNC would do"

    I dunno, maybe Emancipation Proclamation Day. Or on Juneteenth.

  • TootsStansbury

    He's cute, you know, for a Republican.

    • bikerlaureate

      And Herr Goebbels looked positively resplendent in his dress uniform.

  • ttommyunger

    "We invited him to our party, but he didn’t come. Neither did Robert Gibbs, "- Oh well, two less white guys, what the Hell…

  • Mahousu

    I didn't realize Michael Steele was 7 feet tall.

    BTW, I checked the mighty Wikipedia, and it looks like he was let go the Friday before MLK Day, no doubt so they wouldn't have to pay him for the holiday.

    • bobbert

      Editrix is quite petite (height-wise).

  • BarackMyWorld

    Rebecca looks like a brunette Katee Sackhoff, with better proportions.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "Attention on deck. That means on your feet, nuggets!"

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Do I really need to make a Sackoff joke here?

      Actually, I was thinking more Elizabeth Moss.

      • BarackMyWorld

        The smile is more Starbuck than Peggy Olsen. But, to be fair, Elizabeth Moss doesn't even look like Elizabeth Moss when she's playing Peggy.

  • kittensdontlie

    With all those facials, rub & tugs and pomegranate juice on white carpets and before blue lights(not to mention the various orgies), a no-doubt surprised Wonkette crew now knows how magnificently those other bloggers live. Before defections occur, Wonkette needs to take their staff to a new level of luxury.

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

    Poor dude has Stockholm Syndrome.

  • el_donaldo

    The headline for Politico's interview of Gibbs today is "Robert Gibbs: ‘Angry’ night ‘full of insults’."

    Are you sure he didn't come to the drinky thing?

  • MacRaith

    I'm sure Donald Trump is outraged about this, for reasons that he thinks he can clearly articulate but actually can't.

  • MissTaken

    Does the pomegranate juice flow before or after the rub and tug?

  • polnick

    The hunt for America`s poor will end in failure, they do not exist. After years of interviewing patrons of homeless shelters, senior citizen centers, and soup kitchen, I have not met one person who is not well fed or sheltered. But most complained about not having enough cash, for the deserving I donated a dime.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Interesting. If you're looking for people poorly fed and sheltered, why do you go to places where, um, they get free food and a roof over their heads, courtest us liberals?

      Oh wait, let me answer that one for you. You're scared of being alone on the streets, right?

      How's the trolling going? You're not very convincing, by the way. You need more "God" shit in your shpiel.

      • polnick

        <p style=”margin:0in 0in 10pt”>There NO person in America without food and shelter because the most downtrodden know how to get a freebie. The word POOR should not be applied to people, it is wrong and demeaning.

    • commiegirl99

      Who is this person, and why is he in my Wonket?

  • littlebigdaddy

    Editrix, I hear that once you go blah you never go bah, or something.

  • Katydid

    Sure he was nice last night, but throw one little Oreo cookie at him, and he gets all bent out of shape.

  • OneYieldRegular

    That HuffPost headline this morning about Ann Romney Steele-ing the show is beginning to make sense.

  • mavenmaven

    The Republicans didn't ask him to do a little softshoe shuffle for the entertainment of the conventioneers?

  • James Michael Curley

    Michael Steele wasn't 'fired' he lost his bid for reelection. After six or seven votes to Reince Priebus. Don't remember all that much as I was a little raged out over the fact that one of the candidates was that pus filed skin tag who wore the 'Purple Heart Band-Aide" on her cheek all through the 2004 Republican Convention.

  • Stevola

    Mmmm. sweaty editrix!

    Sweatitrix?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Sweatytits?

  • Wadisay

    Probably the only place in townthat didn't throw peanuts at him, also.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Mitt Romney’s eldest sister: "……He’s not going to be touching any of that."
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/election-2012

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Obligatory:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj9_yW8tZxs

    OH yeah, Oasis waz rockin'!!

    • bobbert

      Jesus, I'm slow today. I must have sat here for two minutes thinking "Obligatory?"

  • Estproph

    Didn't he bring enough fried chicken?

  • carlgt1

    gee first you help that idiot "Special Ops Swift Boat Group Against Obama" post their stupid video, now you're pal-ing around with Steele — Orange County has definitely rubbed off on you!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "definitely rubbed off on you!"

      Didja see the red dress in the previous post? I had to go to the men's room.

  • Steverino247

    Shit, that guy must be almost as tall as I am. I wear better t-shirts, though, right Editrix?

  • bringmeanaxe

    I don't agree with his politics, but Michael Steele is what the current Republican Party sadly lacks: a class act.

  • barto

    Mebbe Gibbs & Steele had a date for some hot mano a mano action therefore could not accept yer invite.

  • TheGyrus

    The RNC's new Black Friend is Herman Cain, who spoke yesterday – they don't need Michael Steele anymore.

  • DahBoner

    Robert Gibbs: Staying alive, staying alive

    • garryboldwater

      That was Obama's old press sec. I think you mean Robin Gibb.

  • marconidarwin

    Well, take out that guy in the background, and then take out the self-loather, and this is not a bad faphoto.

  • AlNewMan

    "…and we were soooo sweaty and he kept having to touch our wet, damp, dripping, clammy, sweaty back …" Oh my Rebecca, that Steele is one lucky dude after all.

  • Guppy

    Gibbs, you fucking dirty liar

    Mama spank?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    so do i have this right: palin and akin and steele are all persona non grata?

    is joe walsh there?

    do we have a list like this for next week?

    so many questions about big tents (and i don't mean christie's)

  • TribecaMike

    Huffington is so slick…

    How slick is she?

    Huffington is so slick she gets page click $$ from articles that just mention her name.

  • Come here a minute

    I am Robert Gibbs and I approve this message.

  • iamrrm

    If Steele was shirtless editrix could stand there and suckle on his nipple without getting a neck crick. How convenient.