So you know that thing you do where you throw a party and even though you had a wonderful time and everyone had a wonderful time you just are like LET ME COUNT UP ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT COME. You do that right? Well all our media ‘lite friends who blew off our party, please know that it has been Noted. (The only media ‘lite who managed to get there from here were reporters from the local alts, to whom we gave some fine advice on how to cover a convention when you don’t have a credential — “work” from the bar, duh — and the lovely Erin Ryan of Jezebel. See if you can figure out which of the four women at this goddamn sausage party was she!) Anyway here have some pictures from the party our head hurts.
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Gurrrrrrrrrrl. Them kitten heels are THE SEX. Me wanty!
Meaning you want to wear them, right? So you can sashay past that big bear, in fetching style?
Actually, I'd want to tack them on my headboard and brag about the one I nailed.
No no. One does not sashay in backless heels. One slinks.
I have so much to learn. You're my go-to gay, if I ever go gay.
Who's who???? Please tell.
Love your open-toed naughty monkey shoes.
FMP's! ;)
"Them FMPs are somewhere in this bedroom! Mebbe here, under yer bedouin negligee, heheheh!"
"I don't want to play tonight, George."
Did the crowd throw peanuts at the camera person there too?
Beer nuts?
Chin nuts
Truck nutz.
Deez nutz.
Oooh, donuts!
Someone probably should have.
Can you fucking believe that shit? And, of course, nobody's saying shit about it today. Hoping it will go away, of course.
Looks like more folks showed up than watched the convention on the boob tube.
Mmmm, boobs…
TITS OR GTFO!!!!!
Trix, you looked fetching.
Speaking of fetch, where's my sammich?
Chris Christie ate it
Wait! I call BULLSHIT!
These photos are in focus!
EDIT: Wait! Now they aren't?
Are the pictures themselves drunk?????
Right? Clickety-click to embiggen, and they get smaller–wtf??!
There's nothing wrong with sausage parties.
As long as they include carmellized onions and some fresh Italian hoagie rolls
Here she comes
With her red dress on
Steam shoots out
from the sprinklers on the lawn
The eyes be rollin'
On the concrete fawn
The wind can't blow
'cause the sky is gone
The wind can't blow
'cause the sky is gone
Jones crusher, jones crusher
Deadly jaws, better get the gauze
ZAPPA RULZ!!!!!!
+!
Will she wear a blue dress for the Dems? Mitch Ryder, stand by to collect your royalties!
I think the lyrics to "Jewish Princess" are way hotter, though.
What, no coke snorting? Amateurs!
If that crew was hoping to infiltrate the RNC without being tagged as outsiders there might be a problem.
I don't know it looks like they're in time for the early bird special.
And your dress the same color as Egg's when she capped the womenz condescension fest at the convention. Madam Editrix, how did you guess Mrs. Mittens would be in red?
Because red and blue were the only colors any woman fucking wore throughout the entire 8+ hours yesterday.
None white?? Oh, they had that covered by their inherent WonderBreadness.
Nikki Haley had that super-bright white suit that blinded anyone who looked straight at it.
Reason #37 why I'm glad I didn't watch.
Those are being numbered in chronological order of me discovering them, in case you were wondering. I'm sure if I ever get around to renumbering them in terms of their importance to me, it'll wind up about reason #20,654
Of course, Commiegirl is in red. Looks good in red too. I'm sorry I could not get there. Would have been an hour each way in a cab AND I'm at work at 6:30 a.m. Yep. I KNOW. Wish I could've gone!
And yes, I donated for the drinkies.
I LOVE WOMENZ!!1!!1!1!!!11!
Lurv the CFMPs and the come hither over the shoulder look in that last pic! All of the other people (men) seem to be way more interested in each other so this is a gay bar right?
That dress makes it look like you're asking to be denied an abortion.
And asking for an illegitimate rape sans contraception, as well.
Red is a legitimate rape color. Except when it's worn by Cardinals.
It's the same shade of red that half the female RNC speakers were wearing last night, so Rebecca must have fit right in.
Oh Editrix! You tease me so! When you coming to NYC again?
9/13, if memory serves. Which trust me, at my age, not so sure.
Rebecca, before the Dallas meeting (if ever) we need to check with each other about what we will wear. I would be embarrassed to show up in my red dress as you would out shine me.
Me too.
Baldar, we have to see a photo of you in your red dress. HAVE to.
The obvs solution would be to take yours off.
Actor, I am just not that kind of guy. And, it spoils my "surprise".
So you're speaking Thursday night at the RNC?
Jaye Davidson surprise? Or Ann Coulter surprise?
Wait.
Sadly, I'd be closer to pulling off the Ann thing than the Ra thing. He is uniquely handsome. She is….acid to my eyes and ears.
You're never at a loss for helpful ideas.
It's inspiring.
Why is everyone wearing dive flags?
Well, someone commented about this being a sausage fest, maybe there's going to be some "diver down" action a little later.
Sir, I like the cut of your jib.
Those were the Wonkette flags for the drinkies. I wore mine slapped on my ass where it belonged.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…I did notice the one on Editrix's dress was clearer but….distracted, for some unGodly reason
That's a lot of penis-bearers there.
Well the barers are in the convention mens room.
Has the GOP scared everyone who's not a white male out of Tampa?
Maybe they're all hiding out in Ybor City.
What!?! No pics of pseudo Palin, Lisa Ann?
Hey what happened to the walls? Oh yeah, Isaac.
Last night as I lay dreaming of pleasant days gone by
My mind was bent on rambling to Boston I did fly
I stepped on board a vision and I followed with the wind
When next I came to anchor at the rocks on Fairmount Hill
It was on the 23rd of June the day before the fair
When Boston's sons and daughters and friends assembled there
The young, the old, the brave, and the bold
Came their duty to fulfill
At the parish church on Thatcher, a mile from Fairmount Hill
I went to see old friends there, to see what they might say
The old ones were all dead and gone, the young ones turning gray
I met the broker Hughes, he's as odd as ever still
See I used to crash at his mother's house, when I hung on Fairmount Hill
I paid a flying visit to my first and only love
She's as white as any lily, and as gentle as a dove
She threw her arm around me saying, "Andy I love you still"
Oh, she's one miss Bazo Bailey, the pride of Fairmount Hill
I dreamt I'd fought a violent war for the hand of this darling gal
Against an angry jealous foe by the name of Danny Gill
The clock it rang in the morning, it rang both loud and shrill
When I awoke in California, many miles from Fairmount Hill
Wow, is that some kind of "Jim Newell" instagram filter on those middle pictures? Except not sideways? Well done!
The Night's Potential Main Event: Red dress & pipe hanging above her head, the scene was primed for a dangling pole flash-dance.
More importantly; how hungover is everyone?
Judging by the focus skill shown in those pics…
My head still hurts, and it is like three o'clock?
Where is the tornado!?
Ah, nothing like blurry pictures of people I don't know.
Hey, you'll love this thing they have called Facebook.
looks like yet another Florida Klan rally
Looks like Jeff Bridges there in the purple shirt is going all retro and re-cultivating his Lebowski look.
There are 4 women somewhere in those pics? Is this a Highlights Magazine hidden picture thing? I need a clue.
I do think I found Waldo though.
There's a blonde. Could be a woman. Could be a skinny guy with a cute butt. I can't really tell.
I had the thin version of Guy Fieri pegged as the Jezebel writer.
There also appear to maybe be two blurry vaginal Americans sitting at a table on the left in the third pic?
Was that guy in the 4th photo the drummer for the Molly Hatchett?
Are you implying he's flirting with disaster in that pic? Not sure that is an appropriate moniker for the 'trix.
The one who allegedly sold his dialysis machine for drugs, or the one who exploded onstage?
Editrix,
If you wear that dress to Seattle, I may lose the ability to speak. Like forever.
I might have been interested in going but with the whole no walls thing, in Tampa in the summer, I know that for each beer I drank, I would perspire two.
Then you would never get drunk!
Becca, is that your bodyguard or did you find a Yetti in the swamps?
Todd Akin will be using a cropped version of the "editrix in red" as evidence that women are just asking to be forcefully and legitimately raped.
Jeez, looks like even the camera wuz drunk.
I woke up the other morning with a "total rager." This happens a lot less frequently than it used to in my younger years, so I took the day off.
A touch of the Irish Flu?
this is EXACTLY what the bar in chicago will look like in january when you visit.
promise.
Excellent. I have a purpose now. Only three hours away – and I have time to collect enough scrap metal to afford the gas…
The camera (phone) was held by a caffeine-addicted programmer (who may also be the Lebowski Yetti).
Rawr!
OT:
How do I stop the auto-audio ads on Wonkette from launching themselves and assaulting my ears? (MacOS, Safari)
I mean, really, Lysol? Yeesh.
Mute button?
Launch Firefox with the No-Script add on. It keeps things blissfully quiet.
Yeah, thanks, but is there some way to do it that doesn't require that I change browsers or lose all sound alerts in all other apps? I mean, WTF?
What browser are you using?
Safari. See initial comment.
Google is your friend, Smartypants.
At least you had something good and clean. I was getting an anti-Obama audio from Amerikuns for Posterity this morning. Ewww.
That dress was made for schoenkopf your boobs.
The properly placed Wonkette sticker really helps too!
I am once again extending the offer to start a Paypal account to get The Wonkettes a proper camera. I think I will include some extra room in the fund to include a sober photographer.
Mmmmm…..I like sausage parties.
See the Girl with the red dress on… (3:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsJexJMPG30
I don't know. Most of those photos look like the kind that get posted after a coed has gone missing from a frat party.
So what you're saying is, Rebecca looks like a college student? I'm sure she'll be pleased.
She's not blonde.
Unless the drapes don't match the carpet.
Trying to lure the Republicans in with a little peekaboo action, are ya?
You should put a camera in that dress. You'll be able to tell with GOPers are just adulterous leches and which ones are secretly gay by whether or not they peek!
Wow!! Would I!
I'm taking all side bets for sideboob…
As an older woman, I will be wearing a Barack Obama slugging a Zombie shirt to the event in Atlanta. I will bring a jacket in case this is the sort of place that does not allow picture T-shirts. Should I take names of the attendees?
Moar legg. You know who I am talking to.
Same dress Editrix sported at the L.A. thing. (And it is lovely.) But a girl can't have just two nice outfits. Maybe we should take up a collection.
Ah, yes, the famous blurry party pictures of Wonkette. lol
Dem nutz?
WalNutz
Doz nutz?
Grape nuts!
Fuck nutz
Simmer down, Euell.
Wow. And I thought I got obscure.
I've eaten parts of a pine tree.
Some parts are edible…
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