Your Wonkette Tuesday Liveblogging & Tampa Party Details

Two Things:

  • Your Wonkette communist overlord Rebecca Schoenkopf will be hosting a Wonkette Party tonight in Tampa, at “six or seven,” which is basically right now. Go to this place:

    405 South Howard Avenue
    Tampa, Florida 33606

  • 2) Your Wonkette blogger Jim Newell will liveblog speeches from Ann Romney and Chris Christie starting at 10:00 ET. We have been itching to liveblog a convention speech from that fat guy for some time now. Will someone liveblog earlier speeches? Probably not, but we’ll let you know if this changes, so there. Hooray!
  • That is all.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

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    1. UW8316154

      Jesus Christ! I opened up my wonkett to a floating, disembodied head blinking at me!
      I might have just peed a little.

      /hangs head in shame

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Do they have strippers? I know, you only get pasties if you also want booze, but you do want that "Tampa Republican" vibe, don't you?

  1. Arborista

    Happy almost-birthday, Senator Blingee! Wonketteers will drink to you, I'm sure- they'll drink for any damned reason…

  2. ChernobylSoup

    You should put Ron Paul in your purse and take him to the drinky thing. He could be the mascot.

    1. Terry

      God, could you imagine how preachy and strident Ron Paul would be if he had a few drinks in him?

    1. HogeyeGrex

      I assumed they floated him down against the Gulf Stream. Is the convention center on a canal or something?

    2. mayor_quimby

      Cargo doors in he convention center, you can drive an 18 wheeler thru em..
      So they'll have to grease ol tubby to squeeze him in.

  3. mr bojangles

    why bother, here is christie's speech

    you re a real big shot!!!!!! keep walkin'!!! [clutches vanilla ice cream cone]

    1. SorosBot

      The networks cut back their infomercial coverage, and for some reason the GOP wants this nasty patrician Marie Antoinette on national TV even though everyone she condescends to hates her.

        1. MittBorg

          Our media lapdogs are drooling about her warmth and charm even as we speak. The warmth and charm exuded by someone who addresses the hoi polloi as "you people," and tells us all how happy she is that many women have no choice about getting up and going to work to feed their children, when the only work she had to do to feed *hers* was sign an authorization for sale of stock.

      1. mayor_quimby

        Exactly, she comes across as an insufferable rich woman who you would hate to have brunch with.
        She'd give you a dirty look for having a mimosa ( no that is not a gay drink, dammit!)

          1. MittBorg

            Equally. After having ordered god knows how many side dishes and appetizers and desserts and frou-frou drinkies wiv umbrollies in 'em. Bitch.

          1. MittBorg

            Me either. I'm already popping an artery from reading the shit coming from the GOP. Some weirdo named Ian Dury keeps telling me there are reasons to be cheerful. Three of them, even.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      He will yell at the corpses to get their lazy asses out of the aisle as they're blocking it for those with the ambition to live.

    2. MittBorg

      Nah, a bunch of AFLCIO doods got in and heckled Rubio's ass off, calling him a corporate whore and a goon for big money interests. It was good.

  4. Callyson

    And I've got class tonight, so I'll miss the live version, but I'll check in later here to read all of the good snark from everyone. Have fun!

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Anybody with any class should be planning to miss this. (As little class as I have, I'm looking over the Netflix offerings right now.)

      1. MittBorg

        I think there's actually a Satyajit Ray film available for InstaWatch, which is cool, because it's next to impossible to see those any more. Also, Kurosawa's Ran, which is from the height of his later period and an incredible use of panoramic action shots. If you like that sort of thing.

        And then there's always Withnail and I, or Tuvalu, for those of us with a taste for the louche.

          1. MittBorg

            Oh, you! I saw what you did there.

            And I was gonna tell you all about how I should've but haven't yet gotten around to enjoying his oeuvre. Humph.

  5. elviouslyqueer

    Oh, all right. If you insist

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  6. Poindexter718

    You'll miss Santorum's speech, but maybe just order a "Santorum Slide"–frothy mixture of egg whites, vodka, D-Ray poop and Gardasil–and drink a toast in his honor.
    Regrettably, I cannot attend, as I don't drink with anyone who uses "host" as a verb (I'm a sad, lonely and, yes, somewhat bitter grammarian).

      1. MittBorg

        I find a pre-soaking combined with a dash of fish sauce and a spoon of molasses or dark sugar does wonders for that sort of thing.

        Especially if mixed into a bloody mary.

  7. fartknocker

    If you see Mitt or Ann can you ask them how I can get my accountant to have to pay only 2.5% income tax from the earned interest on my account in Luxemborg. First round is on Fartknocker.

    1. Pithaughn

      Oh you betcha. Why this coal mine owner nearby here, he could only build a pretend western town with it's ownwater and sewer system. If there was not a war on coal he would have built his first choice, a slum in old England with work houses and replicas of poors that are rotting in the town dump.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Obama's got the "War on Coal". The Repubes got the "War on Coal Miners".

      West Virginia gets the worst of it, either way.

    3. glasspusher

      I've said it before and I'll say it again:FUCK COAL.

      Dirty to dig up, dirty to burn. Coal kills.

  8. Native_of_SL_UT

    Has Mia Love, Utah's token…err….local hero spoken yet?
    How many other small town mayors with 18 months of experience under their belt have spoken today?

    1. supernoun

      >How many other small town mayors with 18 months of experience under their belt have spoken today?

      …is Sarah Palin going to be there?

  9. barto

    I thought the event horizon surronding the black hole that is the mass of Chris Christie prevented light, much less sound, from escaping him.

    1. MittBorg

      Unfortunately, these sciency laws of yours do not apply to Chris Christie's farts, which are both foul and audible. It's how he communicates.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Do you think that either:

      A) Becca does not drink while Becca works, or B) Jim does not drink while Jim works?


  10. Native_of_SL_UT

    I would suggest a drinking game based on the times a former president gets mentioned in a positive light in all of the speeches but it wouldn't be fair.
    Anybody picking Reagan will probably need an ambulance before it gets dark outside,
    People who choose Clinton will get moderately drunk.
    People who choose George W Bush will remain as sober as he claimed to be.
    People who choose George HW bush are just stupid.

    1. FlownOver

      I'm going with Jimmy Carter. I have 911 on speed dial 'cause I prolly won't be able to handle three digits with any degree of accuracy.

      Oh… wait… "a positive light?" WTF?!?!?!?

      1. MittBorg

        Yes, well, they won't if they have any sense, since it's a fair bet that most of yon yokels haven't a clue who the fuck James Polk is. Probly think he invented polka music.

  11. supernoun

    so excited for this liveblogging. gonna go out and procure my beer now. a boyscout is always prepared!!

    1. Terry

      The only thing that could save the convention tonight would be a major Paultard stunt on the floor that disrupts one or more speeches.

  12. randcoolcatdaddy

    Ah, Wonkette … I come for the great political insight and stay for the McCain blingees and alcohol.

  13. MissTaken

    Mmmmm…we haven't had a liveblog in a while. I *think* my liver is recovered from the primaries.

    1. MittBorg

      Lookit, you know as well as I do the only reason they put that shit in the platform is so they can spend the next X months, if not years, looking at every bit of porn they can, to see which need banning. At our expense. They know damn well that taking the porn of old (and young, let's be honest) white men WILL start the Revolution.

  14. BlueStateLibel

    What's Chris Crisco going to talk about? How New Jersey has the fourth-highest unemployment rate in the nation? How one of its cities (Camden) had to lay off its entire police force? How he blew a federal education grant because he hates teachers so much? How he blew a key transportation deal into Manhattan that would have brought millions into the state? How he needs to take a car to the grandstand at his son's sports' event because he's so lazy? How he is such an inept, corrupt, corpulent governor?

          1. MittBorg

            Dang, can't get away with ENNYthing around here. Hey, sweetie! Are you enjoying the Repig meltdown? They're just out there now, aren't they? Throwing peanuts at Teh Culludz. Next they'll be making us do a buck-and-wing with their six-shooters.

          2. Geminisunmars

            Can't bring myself to watch any of it, but interesting to hear about. I listened to short clip of Ann's speech just to get the flavor. What was Christy's like? I'm hoping that the Paultards will stay home from voting after being treated so shabbily. And what is a buck-and-wing?

          3. MittBorg

            I didn't watch or listen, except for brief clips on the InterToobz. I usually start throwing things at the vid display, so partner removes anything hard, pointy, or heavy beforehand. He's gonna start locking me in at this rate. I got up this morning and fucking SCREAMED when I saw that Michele Bachmann was telling Teh Stoopidz to vote for Romney because Obama is too wealthy and out of touch.

            A buck -and-wing is the dance you do when they're shooting at your feet and screaming, "Dance, nigger!" Nah, just kidding. It's a type of tap dance.

          4. Geminisunmars

            It is almost like they have to utter all this crap as filler, because they can't overtly keep saying : “'cause he is black, 'cause he is black, 'cause he is black.”

          5. MittBorg

            It's getting to where I'm worrying about maybe doing something bad if this keeps up. Or maybe that's part of the PLAN. They WANT me to kill myself. Just kidding sorta. It's awfully trying, though.

          6. MittBorg

            I know. It'll be OK. I just need to keep my Eyes on the Prize. My President is getting FOUR MORE YEARS if I have to flush every Republican in this nation down the shitter where they belong. With VOTES.

    1. PubOption

      Part of his speech will be about not needing a teleprompter. Personally, I don't care about teleprompters, but would rather have politicians write their own speeches.

  15. Monsieur_Grumpe

    If I watch Ann’s speech I fear I will die of insincerity poisoning.
    Maybe alcohol will oprovide some resistance.

    1. Terry

      To counter Ann's insincerity poisoning you have to enjoy a drink containing both alcohol and caffeine (say, an Irish coffee) with an auto worker or teamster.

  16. IceCreamEmpress

    But what is happening now? Did the Paulistas riot? Did they succeed in shouting down that nice Puerto Rican lady?

    See, I would watch the feed, but I already had to scrub maggots out of my garbage cans today, so my stomach isn't up to watching video of the Know-Nothing Party getting its smug on.

    1. MittBorg

      Something NOBODY should EVER have to see.

      Srsly, is it genetic, or something? I mean, some white women can shake a booty, but straight white men canNOT dance as god is my witness to save their lives. CanNOT. And lord knows I have tried to make them.

      You can take that any way you want.

        1. Crank_Tango

          I dunno, but Boner was conceived in the bathroom of a greyhound bus, I remember that part from the song.

        2. Arborista

          Chris Christie- they managed to get rid of the blueberry color, but the door wasn't wide enough for the Oompa Loompas to get him into the juicing room…

  17. MissTaken

    There's something about Reince that really irritates me. Is it the too-long sportcoat? Is it the talking out the side of his mouth? Is it the half-closed right eye I have to assume is irritated from so much bukkake? I don't know.

  18. C_R_Trogloraptor

    I'm watching the Through The Wormhole episdode #3, on the beginning, structure and fate of Time in our Universe. I badly need some perspective and I'm fucking sick of these people already and it's only Tuesday. Someone help.

      1. C_R_Trogloraptor

        "Jumpbackinthealley!" Yes, thank you. That does help!

        Going out to find my Rhythm Stick.

  19. Guppy

    Seriously, you know what the one defining difference is between the Republican Party and the National Socialist Party? A focus on physical fitness.

    1. shebeers

      Guppy, just asking this question makes you a lady/gentleman. The whitey-rightey-tightey wing nuts have a website dedicated to dissing our fabulous FLOTUS' hair, etc and never think it's catty at all.

  20. SorosBot

    For those of us who don't want to pay Comcast over $100 a month, is this streaming online somewhere?

    1. SayItWithWookies

      It's actually on broadcast TV — for some reason, even though Reince Preibus was all annoyed that the major networks weren't showing the whole thing live, he never mentioned that PBS would be showing almost the entire thing. Go figure.

      1. miss_grundy

        The Rethugs hate PBS because it tries to be impartial but at the same time educate people and 'thugs just want everyone to be stupid and watch Faux News.

    1. SorosBot

      What does Rob Morrow have to say about this?

      I mean besides "Why the fuck did I ever leave that show; I should have paid attention to Shelly Long's career".

  21. Barrelhse

    “After John Boehner comes Reince Priebus, the Republican party chairman and human anagram. His address need not detain us long, except to paraphrase…”
    -from Guardian.UK

  22. iTuna

    You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see every elected official attacking Obama's 'You didn't build that' line TURN DOWN any and all federal appropriations for their districts. Stand by your words, fuckers, and see what happens.

  23. iTuna

    Man, this fuckin' thing is whiter than a Bob Seger concert. This isn't representative of the America I live in at all, and it's insane that so many people believe it is.

  24. C_R_Trogloraptor

    *Long camera shot of the Apollo 11 Saturn V rocket and gantry on the crawler, moving out from the Vehicle Assembly Building to the launch pad area.*

    Camera starts low, sweeps up the majestic length of the most powerful rocket in the world and lingers lovingly on the Columbia command/service module.

    Header, top: WE BUILT THIS

    footer, bottom fade: WITH TAXES. TOGETHER.

  25. TootsStansbury

    Ugh. I managed exactly one minute of weasel faced Walker. I turned on the news on PBS and they're covering this garbage. I can't deal. Thank you Wonkette for taking the poison for us. Gods and Godesses help us if these assholes get in power. We're done.

    1. SorosBot

      Sadly my antenna doesn't get our PBS station; or our ABC one but then the only show worth watching on that is Jeopardy.

  26. Guppy

    "The Obama Administration believes in experts. We believe in people who don't know jack shit and are proud of it."

      1. C_R_Trogloraptor

        See, this is what I mean. At least Nyarlathotep and Hastur the Unspeakable are real party guys.

    1. BlueStateLibel

      "When" the Great Old Ones show up? Just pan your eyes through the assembled crowd and there they be. Seventy is the new 30 for today's GOP.

      1. C_R_Trogloraptor

        A). I'm not watching. I just can't break any more furniture.

        B). Great and Old. Not just Old. there's entirely enough of that around.

      2. HistoriCat

        Great as in "awe-inspiring". Remember, elect Cthulhu – those who vote for him will be devoured first!

  27. OurHoboSenator

    And here I'd been kind of getting into the Oak Ridge Boys' cover of "Seven Nation Army."

  28. Guppy

    I think that blonde in the red dress needs to slap a restraining order on the C-SPAN cameraman already.

  29. SorosBot

    OK; got ABC's YouTube streaming working, but they've just got some bald guy, some lady in a shiny pink shirt, and David fucking Brooks the asshole moron opinionating right now.

  30. SorosBot

    Redshirt lady: small businesses low taxes less regulation main street blah blah tired talking points bullshit yawn.

  31. SorosBot

    This Senator from New Hampshire is wearing the exact same shade of red as the last speaker – is that a uniform for the women tonight? She also sounds like she either smokes two packs a day or has a heavy cold. Oh and she starts off with her husband's accomplishments, not her own; how Republican.

    1. James Michael Curley

      Our esteemed congress critters and senatorials actually believe people watch C-Span while the Senate and House proceedings are broadcast. If you ever catch their show you will find that women wearing red is endemic. For years. I guess they think it is so the peeps at home can identify them as in "Hey, Murray! Which fat old broad in red is our Senator?" "All of them Katy!"

  32. Guppy

    God forbid a Republican woman say "PEE-nalize" on stage! Oh, the pearls that would be clutched!

    EDIT: You know, if the Paultards really want to shut this down, they'd start chanting "VA GI NA!"

  33. SorosBot

    Gah, more of this bullshit claiming that government somehow harms job creation. No it doesn't; it helps it. Idiots.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      See how those high tax rates on the rich crushed America's economic growth from 1950-1990? Huh … me neither.

      The Republiltards' alternative history sure does have some weird shit in it.

      1. SorosBot

        Just like they've forgotten that there was more regulations back then, before they were gutted by their Reagan and Bush, destroying the economy. But they believe in revisionist history; where the founding fathers who rebelled against the British powers that be were somehow conservatives.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          You mean those anti-colonialists? Don't tell D'Souza, or he'll explain how it was different for them, in a way that will make your head hurt if you think about it, which your'e not supposed to.

          1. MittBorg

            How in the name of the deity's abominable blue butt did that cringing toady Dinesh D'Souza ever get acclaimed as any kind of intellectual?

        2. MilwaukeeKent

          I've said it a few times; I listen to a lot of talk radio. They glorify the Tea Party in Boston Harbor, cite it as inspiration, and if AM radio somehow existed then they'd hold exactly the same contempt for "that common mob, those vandals playing dress-up and destroying perfectly good tea" as they hold today for Occupy or the Wisconsin protestors.

  34. natoslug

    I can't believe I tuned in for this shit. "Obama never even ran a lemonade stand!" The rules for being re-elected are getting fucking ridiculous.

  35. OurHoboSenator

    Fuck lemonade stands. Kids in my bougie suburb have lemonade stands and will run out in front of your car to try to get you to stop.

  36. IceCreamEmpress

    I am telling you here that the garbage can maggots were infinitely less disgusting than their squirming mindless white invertebrate counterparts in Tampa.

  37. SorosBot

    They really are focused on this running a business bullshit, aren't they? Do these people realize that the vast majority of people don't run businesses, but do the actual work instead?

    1. Guppy

      My experience with small businesses is that it was the employees that managed the owner and kept him from running it into the ground.

  38. Limeylizzie

    I will join the liveblog soon, what time is it on West Coast? I am currently sitting on our deck in just a pair of panties, do I need to get dressed in modest clothing when Queen Ann speaks? Oh and thanks to all you lovely Wonketteers for all the good wishes and kind thoughts for the new baby.

    1. HistoriCat

      I am currently sitting on our deck in just a pair of panties

      You know exactly the kind of reaction that statement generates, don't you – you saucy minx.

  39. cheetojeebus

    You guys watching this, my gawd, I have the utmost respect for you as fellow wonkateers but geesus, have a little self respect, exposing yourself to this degradation? You know it won't wash off. Like your mother said, don't do that! it might stick that way!
    I need one of those boxes they have in movies about alien infections like Andromeda Strain, those isolation things with robot arms you slip your arms inside of, but something for your whole psyche….

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I'm hoping the latex gloves will provide adequate protection. (Anybody know if a wireless mouse helps?)

      1. C_R_Trogloraptor

        I use a wireless mouse and yes, it does afford an adequate level of protection.

        I'm being extra careful and not watching, though.

  40. SayItWithWookies

    Jack Gilchrist, Mitt Romney's career has consisted of eating small businesses like your for lunch. You have no idea how much better off you are now than you would be under an Rmoney administration.

  41. OurHoboSenator

    John Kasich: son of a government employee, graduate of a public university, worked in government from the time he graduated. His only private sector experience was when his connections gained through his government work got him a job at Lehman Brothers. You built what, exactly, Johnny Boy?

  42. natoslug

    Enough of this — I'm going to go listen to the trees and enjoy the last bit of sunshine on my back deck. And pray to whatever higher or lower being that will listen for some interesting times in that convention center. Oh, and fuck that "death tax" bullshit with a rusty chainsaw.

  43. SorosBot


  44. Guppy

    I would not be proud of the credit of my state being given a good rating by the same people who gave a AAA rating to mortgage-backed securities.

  45. SorosBot

    Yeah, the budget was balanced in 1997 – you seem to be forgetting a little eight years in the interim by blaming that on Obama.

  46. SorosBot

    Regulations are lower than they have been since the gilded age, you lying liar! They are not smothering; there are way, way too few of them now, which is why business was able to create the recession!

    1. LibertyLover

      I am worried about your blood pressure… you need to pace yourself. Many, Many more lies will be told in the course of this evening. You know it's coming… like Clayton Williams said in 1990, "you might as well enjoy it."

  47. SorosBot

    They're still pushing the lie about what Obama said? What morons. Oh and guess what; of course you didn't build it yourself, the government fucking did help, asshole.

  48. Guppy

    The history of the state of Oklahoma provides a great example of pursuing the American dream… and shooting it and giving it polio!

  49. SorosBot

    Look up The Homestead Act, idiot; yes the Oklahomans were in fact using the federal government's money, to get that land.

  50. TribecaMike

    We built this, and then we lost the manual, so we traded it in for a toaster made in Thailand.

    1. C_R_Trogloraptor

      That's …that's Perfect!

      There's more than a few of them that look just like John McCain!

  51. LibertyLover

    Gov. Fallin of OK…. is talking about Harold going to some College where he got knowledge from some teachers, but he built it himself.

  52. iTuna

    Where did Harold Hamm attend those college classes? Might it have been one of Oklahoma's excellent, nationally-renowned public universities?

    Yep, it was OU. But that had nothing to do with the government!

  53. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I would love to pay attention to a bunch of republicans tonight, but my dog has an anal cyst, so pretty much the same thing except hers is less dangerous for the country as a whole.

    PS – have a good time drinking the alcohol!

  54. C_R_Trogloraptor

    Tomorrow's headline will be


    All this will be below the fold. Where it belongs.

    1. Terry

      The first article below the fold will be an article about how much more efficient FEMA and other Federal response has become in the last three or so years. Convention below that.

  55. Guppy

    Has Maryland built a fence along the Potomac yet?

    (On the right bank, on the low-tide line, because Virginia didn't build that.)

    1. Terry

      The King of England gave the whole frickin river to Maryland several centuries ago. The fence will be at the low tide line on the VA side of the river. NoVa is welcome to petition to become part of Maryland.

  56. Doktor Zoom

    Hey, how's the teen pregnancy rate in states that follow the GOP platform's plank on abstinence-only sex ed?

  57. SorosBot

    You're talking about Republican governors and unemployment, with Chris Christie coming up? HAHAHA, he's taken them to the fourth worse unemployment rate in the country.

  58. SayItWithWookies

    Oh dear — it's Bob McAsshole, saying that Republican governors get out of the way of people doing business. Except for getting in the way of your uterus.

    Oh, and Virginia's job growth? Federal contracts, federal money, the DC suburbs.

    1. Terry

      They grow and sell cancer causing weed throughout most of the rest of the State. Poultry here and there, as well.

  59. Doktor Zoom

    I intend to vote for the party that was responsible for the last balanced federal budget, yes.

    1. MittBorg

      You ought to know better than to give me such fun and exciting gifts so late at night. I'm totes in lerve. Didn't Adrian Belew play with Frank on at least one album? Live on maybe?

  60. SayItWithWookies

    Thanks, Bob McDonnell — for telling us to imagine how a Romney presidency would work with Bob Kasich and Scott Walker and Jan Brewer and — well — as much as fear shouldn't be a motivating factor, that's something to be afraid of.

  61. Guppy

    Ah, so Bev Gray borrowed against her home, thereby taking advantage of the government's tax deduction.

  62. SorosBot

    This Bey lady looks almost exactly like Mary Failing; was there a discount on boring middle-aged white blonde ladies who speak in talking points?

  63. SorosBot

    Uh, Walker, the days of record job losses started AFTER you took over; look at the fucking statistics.

  64. SorosBot

    No. Scott; it was a choice between the hard-working taxpayers and the bloated corporate tax-evading plutocrats. And the hard-working taxpayers that you hate lost.

  65. SorosBot

    That's nice that lazy-ass employers think Wisconsin is headed in the right direction; what do the employees, the actual hard-working people, think?

  66. BarackMyWorld


  67. Biff

    Fuck you, walker–how many hundreds of millions did the USOC take from the feds to put on the SLC Olympics?

  68. SorosBot

    Yes, there are people who think more about the future of their children and their grandchildren than their own political careers – they are called liberals.

  69. SorosBot

    Of course they have a country singer, wearing a cowboy hat. No one wears a cowboy hat who is not a total douchebag shithead.

    (Well actors in Western movies, but that's it).

  70. Guppy

    Instead of leaving the house and talking to girls, I'm watching this.

    What the fuck is wrong with me?

    1. finallyhappy

      I left the house and tried to chat with a cuttlefish. I waved at it and blinked- and in any circumstance, a cuttlefish is way more interesting than the GOP convention- even if it didn't change color and texture. there is no color or texture at that convention from what I see written here.

      1. MittBorg

        I've always liked you, and now I know why. Anybody who tries to chat with cuttlefish just *has* to be OK, don't they, CRE? CRE? (looks around)

        Anybody seen CRE? He was behind me a minute ago.

    2. MilwaukeeKent

      This is historic, if my hunch is correct, there may not BE a GOP, as we know it, in 2016, so this may be the last Republican Convention as such. We're seeing them in their late decadence.

  71. TribecaMike

    Oh goody, that guy in Montana who dressed up like Bigfoot and got run over on the highway is speaking next.

  72. Guppy

    Wait wait wait… the GOP now has a problem with the divine right of kings? It has the word "divine" right in it!

  73. SorosBot

    So his mom was a teacher, he went to law school, became a state legislator, then a judge, then governor – has the government never done anything for him too?

    And yep, he also says big government is somehow bad.

  74. Monsieur_Grumpe

    The local news here in Minneapolis was reporting how the Minnesota conventioneers were placed in the nose bleed section behind some poles because a bunch of them are Paultards.

  75. belmontreport

    I can't wait. Did you know that Ann Romney had MS AND breast cancer? I bet she'll avoid talking about that, because it would be weird to use your medical history to try to get your husband elected as president with the promise that he'd take health care away from poor people.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      But if they work hard, they could have health care too, maybe, of some kind. If nothing else, the EPA wouldn't be able to restrict nuclear plants, where the poors could get free radiation when they visit. You want to take away their incentive?

    2. spareme

      Naw, she's gonna talk about her miscarriage, so America can relate better than Mitt. I wonder if she is gonna mention that some personhood agendas will call operations on etoptic pregnancies abortion. I guess you throw Momma out with the baby it they ever figure out a way to pass one of those awful laws.

  76. LibertyLover

    Aren't all of the Republican Governors so purty? Oh wait. Except Brewer. And Kasich. And Christie. Shit.

  77. SorosBot

    And the crowd is uncharacteristically quiet for the Latino governor of Nevada, even though he's saying basically the same thing as everyone else. Strange.

  78. iTuna

    This guy made road signs? Built his business on selling road signs to the government? He was a government contractor?

    He didn't build that.

  79. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Like I said before I'm not watching …. yet.

    So I must ask….

    How white is the crowd?

  80. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Gross. I was just flipping through channels and saw santorum on TV. I am constantly amazed by the disgusting things they put on TV.

      1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

        I saw it on public TV while I was TRYING to eat dinner. I see a sternly worded letter in my future.

      1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

        A guy who is basically unelectable and makes half the country nauseous is one of the GOP's big stars. It would be sad if it wasn't so hilarious.

  81. Guppy

    Oh God, the "married with a high-school degree" spiel again.

    He's saving the environment by recycling speeches.

  82. belmontreport

    Wow, so he just attacked gay people and blegh people in the same bit. CONGRATS Santorum for continuing your streak as the WORST Republican of all time. Nixon appreciates it.

  83. spareme

    Why are they putting this loser up to speak? Didn't he like – lose? I think he had a chemical peel on his shiny face, too.

    1. MittBorg

      Well, liar, sure. Fucking, I don't know about. After all, they're religiously observant Catholics, and his wife hasn't gotten preggers ONCE since the jarbaby.

  84. TribecaMike

    In an effort by the GOP to increase Nielsen numbers, there will now be a fifteen minute pause in the proceedings while some guy in Dubuque makes a call on the big white telephone.

    1. C_R_Trogloraptor

      Did he say that?

      See this is why I can't watch these things. I'm not insane enough yet.

  85. belmontreport

    Serious question: Do Republicans TRY to have children with Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18 so that they can talk about them in every speech?

    1. Guppy

      Willful ignorance of medical advice is part and parcel of their broader willful ignorance of science in general.

    2. MittBorg

      Unlike most science-based lifeforms, Republicans assume that an invisible sky fairy is responsible for anything that pops out of a woman's vagina, and therefore it is not important to consider any science, evidence, or consequences.

  86. TribecaMike

    I just can't watch this crap, so I'm relying on you all's comments to stay informed. Besides, if I wanted to lapse into a coma I'd watch the Twins-Mariners game.

  87. ttommyunger

    You would have to rig me up like Clockwork Orange to get me to watch that shit. Enjoy the party, kids, be safe.

  88. shebeers

    Really RNC, not one mention about our men and women serving in the military? Just thought you may want to thank the troops and families like the Obama's and Biden's do. Guess it just slipped your mind? Well F**k YOU!

    Navy Mom

    1. natoslug

      Of course not — the troops are just a collective of government workers, socialists working for the common protection of our nation. Now military contractors, there's a fine group of corporate individuals that deserve a big RNC shout out.

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