CIVILITY UPDATE II  4:50 pm August 28, 2012

Donald Trump Yells At Rich Lady Arianna Huffington And Tells GOP To Get Mean

by Doktor Zoom

Short-fingered vulgarian says what?Pus-filled gluteal boil Donald Trump took to the Twittertubes today to comment on the comeliness of sweatshop-celebriporn-blog overseer Arianna Huffington. We thought he liked women with accents? After the whole entire Internet said, “Eew, Donald, SO RUDE!” Trump followed up with a promise of more drama to come: “Don’t think my statement on @ariannahuff was harsh, if you knew her and the phony Huffington Post you would understand— more to follow.” Yes, Donald. If only we saw the world through your eyes we would understand. At least until someone mercifully went all Earl of Gloucester on us.

Trump’s other big deal this week, in lieu of actually having any convention role, surprising or otherwise, was to suggest that maybe the GOP campaign has been altogether too nice so far. Accepting a made-up award for “Statesman of the Year” from noted diplomacy experts in the Sarasota, FL Republican party, Trump said, in a statesmanlike tone of voice,

“I hope they are tough as hell and mean as hell and they fight fire with fire. And if they do — and if they’re smart because it’s all about being smart — we’re going to have a great president of the United States”

Trump went on to statesman the living shit out of the Obama campaign, calling them “bad people” due to “the kind of things they do and the kind of things they say,” adding, “These people are vicious.” And who have they been vicious to? Decent honest statesmen like Donald Trump, simple job-creators who occasionally have to fire assloads of worthless people who cannot cut it. And then when those successful statesmen try to do for the country what they’ve done for their businesses, they get cock-blocked by ruthless political operatives who dredge up those losers:

“They’ve been tough. They’ve been competitive. They work. They built their business. And honestly, they have left people in their wake, and they’ve made enemies…They can’t really go out there. They can’t put it together because all of those people that they beat consistently over a lifetime…all of those people come back to haunt him.”

You know, if it weren’t for those unattractive, vicious BAD WRITERS, then smart people and statesmen could get something important done, like exposing Barack Obama’s forged birth certificate or disseminating important science facts:

Science is too important to be left to scientists

Yeah, just like that.

[Twitter / CNN Political Ticker]

 
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{ 186 comments }

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 4:53 pm

How many alimonies is this douchebag paying?

nounverb911 August 28, 2012 at 4:54 pm

All of them, Katie.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Walked RIGHT into that one…

Crank_Tango August 28, 2012 at 5:24 pm

…if I find my keys, we can DRIVE outta here! This is a palin's pussy thread, right?

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I think Trump qualifies, yes sir.

nounverb911 August 28, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I can't believe that I agree with Trump on something. I seriously cannot abide Miss Huffandpuff.

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 5:01 pm

It is a bit like trying to decide whether to root for Gojira or King Ghidorah. And either way, Tokyo gets wrecked.

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Huffington Post was welcomed, and needed, on my screens from 2006-2009, in the same way that Olbermann was welcomed and needed on TV in the mid-2000s. The place has just gotten desperately tabloidish in the last few years, and the IQ of the front page teasers is just moron-level sometimes. But I am not ready to completely dump on it. As for Arianna, I just tune her out when I see her, so my opinion of the site does not ride on what I think of her, particularly.

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 6:19 pm

OK, so she's Gamera then.

bobbert August 28, 2012 at 11:57 pm

It's still a reasonable aggregator, if you ignore the side-crap and can tolerate the click-bait headlines. And burn most of their "health and wellness" stuff with fire.

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm

She can be annoying at times, but I'm in the "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" camp on this one.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I've never trusted her so in this instance, I view her as a useful idiot.

sullivanst August 28, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I always view former Republicans with a degree of suspicion.

Veritas78 August 28, 2012 at 10:24 pm

So John Cole of Balloon Juice is still iffy? Agreed, if only because the percentage of pet and food posts.

Plus, stop pretending there is any reason to be proud of West Virginia.

Beanball August 28, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Ms Huffington is one of those people who do not photograph as well as they appear in person like, say, Richard Nixon.

I met her a couple of years ago at the UCLA book fair. In person, she is rather good looking, radiates charisma, and is very gracious.

I can't say the same for her website, however.

Negropolis August 29, 2012 at 1:26 am

Wait, so you believe that she's so ugly she turned her husband gay, because that is exactly what Trump is saying.

Can't stand Huffington Post, but that was a dirtbag thing to say, especially coming from this serial adulterer and sexist idiot.

CheeseBro69 August 28, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Way to bury the lede Wonkette.
The headline should have been:
"Donald Trump gives resounding endorsement of gay marriage!"

Mumbletypeg August 28, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Trump tweet:

Look what happened to the autism rate…

It's nothing compared to the stoopid rate that's skyrocketed when people have been increasingly exposed to your senseless blather, Donald.

weejee August 28, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Pus-filled gluteal boil Donald Trump

Rush Limbaugh dodged the draft because he had teh Donald working on his backside???!!?

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Actual dialogue from the Top Sekrit Wonkette Editorial chat-thing:

Dok Z: "Pus-filled gluteal boil Donald Trump" isn't libellous, is it?

Rebecca S: Truth is an absolute defense to libel

Grief_Lessons August 28, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Mention that he penetrated his mother in an outhouse. That one's been vetted all the way to the top and it's all good.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:12 pm

But was it legitimate rape?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 28, 2012 at 5:18 pm

No children, so yes.

No_Wire_Hangers August 28, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I'm surprised Trump dared set foot in Florida with wind speeds what they are. Mittens must have shared his Aquanet.

edgydrifter August 28, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Shorter Trump: "Huff refused to give me a handy in my car. Bitch."

Maman August 28, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Donald is a national treasure trove of douchbaggery

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Damn you Nicolas Cage!!

WhatTheHeck August 28, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Donald is a national treasure trove of douchbaggery

A mean old bastard.

ChernobylSoup August 28, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Trump was the only alter boy in his parish who didn't get buggered by the priest and he's still mad about it.

e_z August 28, 2012 at 4:59 pm

"more to follow"

Is he talking about the detective report from his Hawaiian investigation?

No?

No matter, I'm not surprised he has the jelous gayz for Arianna's hubbie either.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 4:59 pm

John SoWhoKnew is on my TeeVee at work right now.

About the only positive thing I can say is, no one, and I mean NO ONE, is paying him any attention. He could admit that yes, he killed his gay lover and stowed the pieces of his body under the ski lift at Killington, and get away with it.

Incitefully_Joe August 28, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Donald Trump is maybe perhaps not a person who actually wishes for a frank discussion about people with correlated interior/exterior attractiveness.

nounverb911 August 28, 2012 at 5:02 pm

And all of his buildings are ugly too, also.

Incitefully_Joe August 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm

And he can often be found inside them! COINCIDENCE?!

Typodong3 August 28, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Does he really think that a woman of accomplishment is going to be overly concerned with how this pimp sees her sexually?

ManchuCandidate August 28, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Hey look, it's the only alleged human in the history of Mankind that ever had a casino go bankrupt… TWICE.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:02 pm

But then he built a third one. It burned, toppled to the ground and THEN filed bankruptcy!

nounverb911 August 28, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Is that the casino that Chris Chrispie invested the Jersey pension funds in?

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I'm no defender of Christie but he did not invest the Jersey investment funds. What he did was worse. He guaranteed $260 million in tax rebates over the next twenty years from the expected revenue from the completed project. This was done to secure financing and caused a bit of confusion as Christie is well versed in double speak. He stated that funds from the Casino something or other would be utilized which persuaded the legislature to fast track the creation of a new development organization and the transfer of appropriated funds into the new entity. Revel Entertainment LLC was then created and secured the necessary financing by having $70 MILLION in assets which were paper borrowed from the old and new Casino development entities. However, this $70 million is scheduled to be paid back over the early term of the operation from the tax rebates.

PEOPLE! IF SOMEBODY IS GIVEN TAX REBATES IN THE FORM OF ACTUAL MONEY IT'S YOUR TAX DOLLARS YOU PAID!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Hmm …. so we can expect that Xanadu montrosity to burn down in the middle of the night (a good thing, all in all), shortly after Gov. Krispy sends a few hundred million to some pals who've bought out the project? Remember, you read it here first!

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 5:11 pm

He's got HUGE tracts of comb-over

FlownOver August 28, 2012 at 6:33 pm

What – the curtains?

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 7:01 pm

I don't think that applies to any of the Trump Atlantic City casinos. It does sound like the Revel in 2010 which had an extensive fire damaging a lot of the superstructure constructed to facilitate laying iron. However, Morgan Stanley owned 90% of the Revel at that time and bailed by pushing its ownership entity into bankruptcy. I don't know (or if I did) who owned the other 10%. For the future of the Revel, see below (actually see above I'll never figure out how these stupid arrows actually work.)

Eve8Apples August 28, 2012 at 5:29 pm

The house always wins — unless it is a Trump property.

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Trump blames all his Atlantic City problems on nasty bankers giving him 'restrictive debt packages' on his three casinos. But he slithered his way back to ownership (again as a result of the owners who took it from him having to fold in bankruptcy) in 2005 I think. However, now with the administration of all NJ governors since the early days of McGreavy, NJ is spending a lot of future resource shoring up the casinos on the idea that they will rescue Atlantic City. Yet, Christie trucked on in (and you never want to see him truck) and has virtually decimated the bi-partisan work of four governors to provide quick a fix to a surprising array of investors, many of which were his clients and Kim Guandano's clients in their legal careers.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 7:34 pm

nasty bankers giving him 'restrictive debt packages' = Banksters who've been burned by this sneaky fucker several times in the past. Why is he surprised? A century ago, he'd have been given the Jimmy Hoffa treatment after welshing twice, never mind three times.

CthuNHu August 28, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Before Trump came on the scene, no one had ever heard of Al Qaeda or Michele Bachmann or flesh-eating bacteria. I understand why his former follicles left him. They made a good decision.

Fox n Fiends August 28, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Trump is the "Joe the Plumber" of 2012. Donald the Developer.

ph7 August 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Replace asscrack with asshair.

ChernobylSoup August 28, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Unleash the Biden.

OzoneTom August 28, 2012 at 5:02 pm

She's a nice enough lady and all, but I really don't need to have a mental image of how attractive she is "inside."

rickmaci August 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm

TMI.

MLHencken August 28, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Donald J. Trump: living proof that you can start life on 3rd base and somehow make it back to 1st. Just because he went to Wharton (where's the transcript!!) doesn't mean he's actually an intelligent businessman. (Hint: he isn't)

And also be a complete asshole. Good luck sniping every person who criticizes you, doucheface.

"Doktah Zoom is a completely third rate blogger for a website nobody reads and he drives a shitty Chevy Impala and can't even afford to fix it."

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 5:14 pm

If Trump personally slags on me, I will know have ARRIVED, baby! Government cheese and dollar-store bagel crisps for EVERYBODY!

(Seriously, I like those dollar-store bagel crisps. God help me)

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Dok, you have to realize that if that happens there is a large segment of the population that will just think Doktor Zoom is a cool new energy drink. They apparently don't read much.

Just be ready for that.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Whoa! Marketing campaign! Product placement! Endorsement!

And no product! It's like he's a Republican!

sullivanst August 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

I think I just filled in step two of my genius plan for world domination:

1. Choose blog handle
2. ???
3. Profit!

WhatTheHeck August 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Doktor Zoom. Is it inside you?

emmelemm August 28, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I'd have them sent to the lab to test for melamine and lead, personally.

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Any female who has the gall to disagree with me is unattractive inside and out

/fixed
/asshole

elviouslyqueer August 28, 2012 at 5:03 pm

@realDonaldTrump

Fuck you, U constipated mendacious hairpie.

#statingtheobvious

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 5:35 pm

"mendacious hairpie" filed away for later use.

elviouslyqueer August 28, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Happy to be of service!

*doffs English major chapeau*

sullivanst August 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I appreciate how you show off that English major with French ;)

Negropolis August 29, 2012 at 1:31 am

I love "@realDonaldTrump", because everyone is just falling all over themselves to imitate Donald Trump on Twitter, right?

His ego, it's smothering me.

mustangsavvy August 28, 2012 at 5:04 pm

All I want to see is this moron's hair piece flying off in hurricane winds. With him barely attached.

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Misogynists gonna hate.

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 5:05 pm

They can’t really go out there. They can’t put it together because all of those people that they beat consistently over a lifetime…all of those people come back to haunt him.

Yeah, I know I prefer watching Ebenezer Scrooge's fright of the ghosts of Christmas to watching The Donald's terror of being held accountable…

belmontreport August 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Holy hell, of course Trump is anti-vaccine. Can someone teach him the difference between correlation and causation?

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Coloration is not caucasian, right?

ph7 August 28, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Have you seen the rise in autism rates during the years In 1991, 1992, 2004, and 2009, the years trump filed his four bankruptcies?

YouBetcha August 28, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Probably not.

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Self-haters gonna hate women that point out one's short… — er —- comings.

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I see several things you did there, though I wish I had brain bleach to get rid of them…

Mittens Howell, III August 28, 2012 at 5:08 pm

By 'unattractive, inside and out' do you mean not 'gold-plated' and branded with your shitty trademark name?

Toomush_Infer August 28, 2012 at 5:08 pm

The problem is – there's just no way to insult Donald Trump….it's like calling a turd in the street a bad name….

Spurning Beer August 28, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I call them Trump-lumps.

Negropolis August 29, 2012 at 1:33 am

ROTFLMAO!

He's lower than a bow-legged caterpillar.

Pap Finn August 28, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Deep down, he's really very sensitive.

Angry_Marmot August 28, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Yeah, but it takes a really long condom-covered probe to get there.

Typodong3 August 28, 2012 at 5:08 pm

"more to follow"… yeah. Im still waiting for the investigators he sent to Hawaii to bring back their report about Omaba's birth certificate. "You wont BELIEVE what they are finding out"….

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 7:39 pm

He's right … at least, I know I won't believe it.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Interesting. A convention in Tampa, FL and not a sign of Katherine Harris, who only represented the next district over in Congress.

I wonder why….

Ooooh, they're calling the roll of delegates for the nomination. I wonder who will win?

nounverb911 August 28, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Is Harris back from Chad yet?

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Is that where she's been hanging?

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 5:15 pm

*Someone* has to rig those voting machines…

sudsmckenzie August 28, 2012 at 5:10 pm

We can do that?@therealMarcusBachman

Guppy August 28, 2012 at 5:11 pm

My, that was a pregnant pause before Jan Brewer had to deign mention Ron Paul…

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 5:12 pm

She fucked up her speech. *Facepalm* for my state.

bobbert August 29, 2012 at 12:05 am

Perhaps she was being hipster-ironic.

Spurning Beer August 28, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Legitimate mentions of Ron Paul rarely result in pregnant pauses.

Mittens Howell, III August 28, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Shut up you fucking Vogon.

Here. I fixed your shitty linebreaks. You're welcome.

@arrianahuff (snoorkle)is unattractive /
both inside and out. I (haaaarrumph) fully /
understand why her (cough-sploodge)former /
husband (beeeeelch) left her for a man /
he made a good (BBBBBRRRRTTTTTTT!!! splatter) /
decision.

sullivanst August 28, 2012 at 5:41 pm

A fitting prelude for the surprise appearance on the final day of Sarah Palin, reading her new poem which features decaying swans.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2012 at 5:12 pm

This from a guy who hosts a game show, Celebrity Apprentice, wherein famous people who would probably otherwise really like each other are turned against each other, become horribly mean and bitchy, and end up loathing one another for life — for charity. It's hard to equal that for pure voyeuristic sadism, which I'm sure is why Trump does it year after year.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 7:44 pm

The whole point of the program is to give El Donaldo the opportunity to pretend-fire somebody famous, thereby feeding the fantasy that he's more important and powerful than they are. It's no more credible than the fantasy that he has hair on his head, of course, but so long as he buys into it, he's happy.

The only mystery is why people would want to watch this pathetic piece of self-delusional performance art. Maybe they get their jollies from watching famous people get pretend-fired?

ChrisM2011 August 28, 2012 at 5:13 pm

* Crosses fingers that the RNC gets a massive outbreak of Ebola *

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 7:48 pm

You mean a massive and unontrollable hemorrhaging of votes, right?

glamourdammerung August 28, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I am not sure Trump is the person whose opinion I would really keep in mind dealing on issues personal attractiveness or staying married. Or anything really.

smitallica August 28, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I don't know what he's talking about. I would fuck Arianna Huffington raw.

mavenmaven August 28, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Donald who?
Too early? Wishful thinking?

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 5:17 pm

OMG! A NEGRO! AT THE RNC! ON THE FLOOR! TALKING IN A MIC!

Oh, and now that flaming lesbo lieutenant governor of Florida. She's counts as blah, right?

Guppy August 28, 2012 at 5:24 pm

A blah woman delivered Florida's 2/3 delegates.

(I guess they followed through on punishing Florida.)

Stevola August 29, 2012 at 1:02 am

Not 3/5?

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Next from The Donald:
"Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames and Messieurs
Ladies and Gentleman
Is it a crime to fall in love?
Can we ever tell where the heart truly leads us?
All we are asking is eine bisschen Verstandnis
Why can't the world leben und leben lassen?
'Live and let live….'

I understand your objection
I grant you the problem's not small
But if you could see her through my eyes
….

MosesInvests August 28, 2012 at 6:52 pm

She vouldn't look Greek at all?

joshleefolsom August 28, 2012 at 5:19 pm

So, for an American at the top of the economic and social heap, his insults still cannot be more clever than a third grader on the playground. I have one word for Donald Trump: pigpile!!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 7:58 pm

The Donald, despite his money, is notably absent from most New York City "society" events — and it's not because he turns down invitations.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 28, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Trump is going to release Arianna's birth certificate and show that she was, in fact, born in America!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Trump is just upset that the first day of the RNC convention got cancelled and he couldn't show his home movie of him firing himself in blackface.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 8:07 pm

He did have that "fake Obama" guy all lined up for what promised to be a YOOOOGELY tasteless and offensive skit, with a punch-line that Ray (hey, you see that, Stevie?) Charles could see coming from a month away, but some GOP high-muckamuck (unfortunately) had the barest shred of decency needed to see the awfulness of the whole exercise.

I'm sure it would have virtually locked the win for Obama; it's just too bad that a GOPper saw it as well.

Antispandex August 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm

People will often wonder, "Why is their so much evil in the world, why all of these school shootings, rapes, robberies, and enmity". Then we are reminded that some people actually wanted this man to be President, and it all makes sense somehow.

Crank_Tango August 28, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I doubt there are many non-mormons and non-1percenters who want him to be president. The rest just hate the blah guy.

bobbert August 29, 2012 at 12:08 am

I think he was talking about Thump.

HarryButtle August 28, 2012 at 5:22 pm

"I understand…he made a good decision."

Is that Donald's way of coming out of the closet?

An_Outhouse August 28, 2012 at 5:23 pm

STAY OUT OF ARIANNA!!!!!!!!!!

Jukesgrrl August 28, 2012 at 5:25 pm

So, horrible things happened from 1983 to 2008, Donnie? Who was president in 1983? I'll give you a hint, it's one who had hair almost as bizarre as yours. Which party was in power for 17 of the 25 years in question? Here's another hint: they're in Tampa this week. I'd be the first to claim U.S. presidents aren't the ones poking little children with vaccinations. But if you want to go there, Trump, let's place the blame where it belongs. Bill Clinton didn't start those vaccinations and he wasn't president for 25 years.

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Clinton's FDA ordered timersol to be removed from vaccines in 1999 despite the fact that the CDC found that it had no causal effect in autism the same year.

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I know this is weird but even having the entire Internet between me and the Donald is not a comfort.

sullivanst August 28, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Try having only the East River and half the length of the LIE. *Shudder*.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 8:13 pm

At least you got a river. I got nuttin' but traffic — and the fucker probably moves around in a goddam motorcade that runs red lights at will, like lots of Bloomie's buddies do.

arihaya August 28, 2012 at 5:27 pm

@realDonaldTrump is unattractive inside and out. I fully understand why his two former wives left him for golf sticks- they made good decisions.

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm

What strange world this is. Arianna used to be a Republican and Donald used to be a Democrat.

pdiddycornchips August 28, 2012 at 5:38 pm

They will forever be united in self parody and douchey-ness

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 5:45 pm

This interests me. I wonder if there was an instant where their souls passed each other?

bobbert August 29, 2012 at 12:09 am

Souls?

garryboldwater August 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

Well, there's not much a difference anymore in the two parties…. hell, if Romney didn't have an "R" next to his name, and Obama didn't have a "D" next to his name, 90% of the people in this country would be as confused as a $2.00 hooker with a $10.00 bill.

Misty Malarky August 28, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I can't wait to see Trump fire the Obama lookalike on my TV!

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Get over it Donald, She's just not that into you.

ph7 August 28, 2012 at 5:31 pm

The Donald's fighting the War on Women one woman at a time.

belmontreport August 28, 2012 at 5:32 pm

You know, it is shit like this that makes me want to punch every person that restates that, "I don't want to have to choose between the lesser of two evils."

Sure, Obama has disappointed me on a number of things (yes, drones. I know, that is the thing that you constantly bring up. DRONES ARE BAD. There.). But are you seriously going to say that you're okay with Republicans being in charge, because they're just slightly worse?

These are people that believe that corporations are entitled to the same rights as human beings (without prosecution for crimes). They believe that rape is just another form of conception, and that there are different forms of rape that are worse than others. They believe that the life of a cluster of cells is more important than a fully-grown women with a family, community ties, possibly other children, etc. They believe that rich people should pay the same percentage (or less) in taxes as someone that is struggling to put food on the table. They believe that we should kick out all Muslims. They believe that if you have brown skin, you're either trying to steal, live off of the government, bomb Christians, sneak across the border, or something else nefarious. They want every white, Christian to be armed to the teeth, but they do not want the government to have any control over the types of guns they have or to be able to restrict people with mental illnesses from getting guns. They want to have your science classrooms turned into a church and eliminate public schools. They believe that marriage equality is the same as marrying your dog. They want to completely eliminate the social safety net so that they can reduce the taxes that rich people pay and expand the military. They want to decide how poor people spend their money, make medical decisions for women, teach your children about THEIR Christianity, and limit how we as a country define marriage. Yet they are constantly squaring about the government interfering in their lives by asking them to pay taxes.

tl;dr: Republicans suck, and so do my friends that think that Republicans and Democrats are the same. Donald Trump can suck my dick (I'm a girl, so I don't have one… but you get what I'm saying.)

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Yea, succinct, accurate and depressing that maybe 50% of our country will subscribe to it.

sullivanst August 28, 2012 at 5:53 pm

"I don't want to have to choose between the lesser of two evils."

Correct response: "Tough shit, you do have to."

CthuNHu August 28, 2012 at 6:48 pm

"I don't want to have to choose between the lesser of two evils."

"Do you enjoy wiping shit off your ass? No? You do it anyway, though, don't you? [Note: if respondent replies in the negative at this point, terminate the interview, mark them '5' as a committed Republican voter and move on.] Same thing."

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I think "kiss my ass" makes a suitable replacement to "suck my dick."

I, for one, rather enjoy having my dick sucked and wonder why we insult those who are willing to do that. Now, if you want to critique their ability, as in "lousy cocksucker," I can understand that.

1stNewtontheMoon August 28, 2012 at 5:32 pm

if vaccines are making today's kids autistic then trump's mom must've been taking down gallons of the classiest martinis ever poured.

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Here's David Brooks summary of the Mitt Romney bio film to be shown after the nomination.

Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

BlueStateLibel August 28, 2012 at 5:41 pm

That was the best thing Brooks ever wrote, and I've been reading him for years. Did he get a brain transplant or something?

sullivanst August 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Wouldn't that be more of an implant than a transplant?

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 5:59 pm

As a reader you know he has not been that happy with the Mitt Pick.
As much as Brooks likes to claim he has the pulse of the conservative wing of the Republican Party, he is a moderate. So little has been punditated (how do you like that word?) about what the moderates of the Republican Party have to say about Mitt, I'm expecting a considerable drop off of republican voter turn out in November.

Negropolis August 29, 2012 at 1:45 am

Wow. This must mean that Mitt turned down David's advances. Me-fuckin'-ow.

BTW, national parks are socialism.

punkneverdies August 28, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Sounds like a jilted lover. Or maybe she just started laughing at him when he invited her up to the penthouse suite to take a look at The Big Deal.

pdiddycornchips August 28, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Donald Trump and Arianna Huffington jump from the roof of the Taj in Atlantic City and race to see who hits the ground first. Guess who wins? We do.

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I believe this was in a list of Hitler jokes told by the Germans during WWII that was featured on — wait for it — huffpo!

BlueStateLibel August 28, 2012 at 5:37 pm

He's starting to sound like someone's crazy old aunt, and look like her too. Also, that twitter photo of himself, is that from 1982?

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 6:20 pm

The first job I got after being laid off from Mobil was selling CLE courses over the phone. I spoke to both the Donald's father and brother who both bought a course on Mergers & Acquisitions. Other than being a work or no pay job, they (the father and the brother) were subsequently solicitous in looking for further courses.

Exhausted66 August 28, 2012 at 5:46 pm

NEEDZ MOAR SIDEBOOB!

Incitefully_Joe August 28, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Why am I not even remotely surprised that moronic birther vulgarian is also a anti-vaxer?

Guppy August 28, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Kasich's mention of John Glenn gets cheers; nobody remembers what party John Glenn was a member of.

mr bojangles August 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

c mon donald, cut to the chase, go haley barbour, and call obama out for being a nigra!!

marconidarwin August 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm

So The Donald wants to gay marry Michael Huffington.

And this was the big surprise?

Incitefully_Joe August 28, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Seriously, though, the anti-vaxing. HERES A FUN FACT: If you look at current autism diagnoses by age group, the rate is IDENTICAL ACROSS THE POPULATION. Which includes a number of changes to the types and frequency of vaccination. This implies that any changes in the NUMBER of diagnoses over the past two decades is a consequence of Awareness/Better Diagnostics/Faddishness Of The Diagnosis, and NOTHING ELSE, YOU IDIOTS. Please, please vaccinate your children, everyone: the lives of the immunocompromised and also of people for whom the vaccines simply don't "take" are literally depending on you doing so. When you refuse vaccination because of junk science, it's other peoples' kids who get Measles because of it. Don't be a moronic asshole. Vaccinate your children.

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I remember when Imus was still on MSNBC, Robert Kennedy used to show up on his show frequently to flog that "vax are awful" stuff.

Incitefully_Joe August 28, 2012 at 6:54 pm

The thing is, I care a lot about this issue because autism is a subject very close to my heart (and brain). The multitude of junk science that's been circulating in even fairly mainstream autism circles is insanely disheartening.

And, I care a great deal about public health and health access issues, so the fact that said junk science in turn leads to a host of "remedies" that not only inflict grave harms on the autistic children (DO NOT google the words "lupron" and "autism" at the same time, if you have blood pressure issues), but ALSO to others who come in contact with said children (thank you, erosion of herd immunity), is a bit of a multiple gut-punch for me. I am soooo lucky that growing up, my mother may have been a bit of a hippie, but she was also a bit of a scientist, and knew to stay clear from the lion's share of the quackery.

bobbert August 29, 2012 at 12:15 am

Even fancy genetics can't always save you from teh stoopid. We're all vulnerable to wanting there to be a reason for everything bad.

Rotundo_ August 28, 2012 at 5:55 pm

A truly sad character. Gold plated handles on your shitter doesn't make it smell better Donny. Your show sucks as do most of the establishments bearing your name. He can buy property, but taste and decency are free. He is an emblem of bad taste and ill mannered contempt for those around him. Mercifully when he shuffles off this mortal coil the memory of the drecky design and horrid comb over will fade quickly. Nothing about him is memorable or notable, he contributes nothing to the betterment of his world.

Nostrildamus August 28, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Side-show Boob

Tundra Grifter August 28, 2012 at 6:04 pm

"Go all Earl of Gloucester…" I had to look that up. (Wasn't the Earl the victim, however?)

Anyways, I looked at the photo on the link. Yikes! Is that what happens if you gaze on a naked Ann Coulter?

Doktor Zoom August 28, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Yeah, it occurred to me that it wasn't quite logical, but "until someone mercifully went all Duke of Cornwall on us" seemed like even MORE of a stretch.

(And I had to look up who did the blinding..had misremembered it as Edmund the bastard)

Tundra Grifter August 28, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I dunno – "Duke of Cornwall" sounds like it might have at least two meanings…

barto August 28, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I despise AH as well, but this sort of juvenile outburst just speaks to the depths to which losers like DT will sink to get attention. What a two-year-old.

Self-Uploader August 28, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Back when I lived in pre-gentrified Brooklyn, I'd see this guy on the streets. We called him "the yeller" because he was always yelling some insane shit mostly in Polish but with enough English words to get the gist. He also had really bad hair and smelled like a sewer. We found it best to ignore him.

Still, the weird part is, even though I was occasionally on the receiving of his verbal diatribes, I feel more empathy for that loser than for the Donald.

randcoolcatdaddy August 28, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Ah, wonderful … more great wisdom and insight from the Snooki of American financiers.

GeorgiaBurning August 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Donald is a poster boy for cheater capitalism. He constantly promotes himself as an entrepreneur, takes in millions for some scheme, then slides off with a big cut of what's left when it goes bankrupt. By then the banks have so much down the hole that they'll accept the pennies on the dollar settlement. Vegas casinos keep lists of deadbeats and cheaters who get kicked out on sight, the federally-insured banking system should do the same.

RvonB August 28, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Liked the Shakespeare ref. "Out, vile jelly" is exactly what I think when I see Trump's so-called face.

Soylent Green August 28, 2012 at 6:48 pm

And he's telling me she's ugly? What a corpuscle (pronounced: cor-pussy).

IceCreamEmpress August 28, 2012 at 6:57 pm

I can't believe I'm the first to say it here, but FUCK YOU YOU SHORT-FINGERED VULGARIAN.

I hate AHuff a lot, but not as much as I hate The Donald.

mrblifil August 28, 2012 at 7:13 pm

For once Trump is exerting some bona fide powers of argument.

ElPinche August 28, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Arianna tweets back:
Suck my dick, dahling

Dashboard Buddha August 28, 2012 at 8:07 pm

"Pus-filled gluteal boil Donald Trump"

I…I love you.

rocktonsam August 28, 2012 at 8:33 pm

and the 'J' stands for something .

Trump is the poster child of what the repubs stands for, except he is on teevee and boob tube watchers love this asshole

glamourdammerung August 28, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Trump went on to statesman the living shit out of the Obama campaign, calling them “bad people” due to “the kind of things they do and the kind of things they say,” adding, “These people are vicious.”

Like calling folks ugly and mentioning how they make people gay because they are so ugly?

ttommyunger August 28, 2012 at 11:25 pm

"….she made a good decision." So, Donald goes for the sweet delicious man-meat, eh? I fucking knew it; not that there's anything wrong with that…

Negropolis August 29, 2012 at 1:02 am

So unoriginal. This is the same bullshit he said to Rosie O'Donnell, adding on that he would steal her wife. Because ever woman wants to be with Trump, right?

What a fucking cockroach of a man-like creature.

valthemus August 29, 2012 at 1:54 am

I suppose it's meaningful that the guy who marries beauty queens thinks the worst thing you can call a woman is "unattractive." Given his Jupiter-sized ego, I'll bet he really does think every woman wakes up, looks in the mirror and wonders, "Am I hot enough that Donald Trump would screw me?"

iamrrm August 29, 2012 at 8:30 am

Trump is like your bunghole after many years of the frequent power buttsechs.

BZ1 August 29, 2012 at 9:01 am

The Donald is now just spouting anything that comes out of his pea-sized brain.

garryboldwater August 29, 2012 at 9:41 am

My latest beef with the Huff Post is that earlier this week, someone there referred to Sylvester Stallone as a "former star". Former my ass.

DahBoner August 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

Sly can still grunt with the best of 'em…

DahBoner August 29, 2012 at 11:02 am

So, yelling at a lady, whom we can barely understand, is his big 'surprise'????

lizardsf August 29, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Remember, kiddies: Gay marriage is wrong, but leaving your wife because you're tired of her is part of God's perfect plan!

monsieurleghorn August 29, 2012 at 2:34 pm

"unattractive both inside and out"
Look in the mirror much?

weejee August 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm

True 'Murican hero.

1stNewtontheMoon August 28, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I thought hustler was going merkin free? Oh, I see what you did there.

Bezoar August 29, 2012 at 7:40 am

Hey, their ground water has the lowest pH in the nation! Surely that's something to be proud of.

sullivanst August 29, 2012 at 8:24 am

It's a question of degree.

Also too, what pretense?

actor212 August 29, 2012 at 9:18 am

I'll go you one better: I'm still on the fence about David Brock.

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