ANOTHER DAY OLDER AND DEEPER IN DEBT  12:45 pm August 28, 2012

Lucky Coal Miners Get Unpaid Vacation, Free Tickets To Mitt Romney Rally!

by Josh Fruhlinger

Clean, innovative fuel for the future!Mitt Romney is a hot ticket, everybody! People want to see him; and, until the secret Romney Cloning Project finally achieves success, there is only one of him to go around. According to the immutable Laws of Supply and Demand, this means that most humans have to pay big money for some Mitt Time. But what about the working classes — don’t they deserve to hear about all the jobs Mitt is going to create for them in a few months, even if they can’t pony up for Romney-Tix? Have no fear, poors, Mitt has an innovative structured financial deal for you: instead of paying with money, you’ll just pay by taking unpaid time off of your job in the coal mine, because your boss wants to use the coal mine (and you) as a prop for a Romney rally!

So you may have heard that Obama is literally making war on the coal industry (i.e., the EPA is regulating coal-fired plants to help us maybe not die, from pollution). Mitt Romney, meanwhile, is going to make America energy-independent by 2020 by mining the shit out of some coal, so energy industry folks like those at Murray Energy want Mitt to come and speechify and be photographed in front of their coal mines. But it wouldn’t do to have Mitt accidentally die in a mine explosion while he was there, so they’ll need to shut the place down for the day. And you don’t pay miners to not work! What is this, Communist Russia? The workers were just required to attend the political rally instead, which isn’t something that would happen in a Communist regime ever.

A group of employees who feared they’d be fired if they didn’t attend the campaign rally in Beallsville, Ohio, complained about it to WWVA radio station talk show host David Blomquist. Blomquist discussed their beefs on the air Monday with Murray Energy Chief Financial Officer Rob Moore.

Moore told Blomquist that managers “communicated to our workforce that the attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend.” He said the company did not penalize no-shows.

Because the company’s mine had to be shut down for “safety and security” reasons during Romney’s visit, Moore confirmed workers were not paid that day. He said miners also lose pay when weather or power outages shut down the mine, and noted that federal election law doesn’t let companies pay workers to attend political events.

Mitt Romney, he’s like, a force of nature, man. Like a storm blowing through and shutting down the mine, you can’t anticipate him or control him; you just need to admire him. (Also, nice way to blame this whole problem on job-killing election laws, Rob.)

Anyway, even though the event was mandatory, you didn’t actually have to attend, so quit your whining, whining coal miners! Plus, don’t you know what’s good for you? “We are talking about an event that was in the best interest of anyone that’s related to the coal industry in this area or the entire country,” Moore pointed out. Remember: your boss can arbitrarily cut your hours and pay, if he decides the politics are in your best interest! [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

 
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{ 173 comments }

Maman August 28, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Are they all dirty like the chimney sweeps in Mary Poppins? And singing. I think Mittens needs a big production number to sell this candidacy.

RedneckMuslin August 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Yeah, this was really supercalifragilisticexpealadocious of them.

kittensdontlie August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Shift-shaftity Shift-shaftity shift shaft-er-ree,
A coal miner is not as lucky as lucky can be.
Goin' to see Mittens with no pay for me,
And bad luck will rub off if he blows a kiss to thee.
I don't have to be mining to get the ol' shaft,
And end up at the bottommost tunnel with smoke blown up my arse.

Lascauxcaveman August 28, 2012 at 1:47 pm

With all the Republican-rapey stuff in the news, maybe a number like "Every Sperm Is Sacred" would be more appropriate.

Bezoar August 28, 2012 at 4:15 pm

"…If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate…"

MosesInvests August 28, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Never need a reason, never need a rhyme….

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 12:49 pm

what about the working classes — don’t they deserve to hear about all the jobs Mitt is going to create for them in a few months, even if they can’t pony up for Romney-Tix?

Nah, they've told us people all we need to know.

polnick August 28, 2012 at 12:50 pm

High pump prices will have Romney win in a landslide. Big O will anger voters in his gas guzzling limo, when six buck gas is forcing motorists to peddle bicycles. All war moves by the administration are on hold, an Iranian oil blockade will cause long gas lines. Voters will call it Obama`s folly.

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Whoever drives the biggest pickup truck takes the Senate.

Nowisallthereis August 28, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Whoever's trucknutz hang the lowest.

BlueStateLibel August 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Um, no.

MissTaken August 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

polnick August 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I do not have any newsletter. My ideas are based on current events. But you can text me.

WhatTheHolyHeck August 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Woah. Gimmick Troll is gimmicky.

MissTaken August 28, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Can't text, no cell phone because my tin foil hat makes the reception crappy.

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I'd like to prescribe to his medications.

HistoriCat August 28, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Why? They obviously don't do anything for this assclown.

PubOption August 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm

If no-one will pedal bicycles, there will be no point in peddling them!

reliefsinn August 28, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Well, your "peddle" extremities are obnoxious!

tessiee August 28, 2012 at 6:16 pm

One never knows, do one?

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 1:39 pm

You really should keep up with current events.

Gas prices were going up fast about four or five months ago, and you could tell because that was all the Republicans and Fox News were talking about: Gas prices are like the mostest importantest thing in the whole world and it's a sign of abject failure that Obama can't bring them down. And the price of gas is absolutely 100% up to the president. You could tell that this was a big deal to Fox, because they said "Obama should be doing something about gas prices" almost as often as they said "the president can't do anything about gas prices" when gas prices were even higher under Bush.

But then gas prices went down again! And now gas prices are like the least important thing in the political landscape and Fox seems to have completely forgotten it. Romney never mentions it. Weird, eh.

The quality trolls are on top of these things. I guess that's why you were stuck with the Wonkette assignment.

polnick August 28, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Iran is holding the US presidential election hostage; an oil blockade by them will drive the price of gas to over 10 bucks a gallon. It will cause Obama to go back to Chicago, and Romney will find a new home in the White House. It will take the US Navy three months to sink Iranian ships and clear the mines, the price of gas will then go down to three bucks.

Fox n Fiends August 28, 2012 at 1:52 pm

So…Iran supports Mitt Romney? Thanks for the insight, I'll be sure to let John Bolton know of this troubling news.

MissTaken August 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm

BUT! The US Navy is filled with coed bathrooms and sailors with the ghey now. I say it will take 5 months to effectively bump off Iraq. Oops, I mean Syria. Darnit, I really mean Iran.

An_Outhouse August 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

we don't get petroleum products from those-that-are-not -to-be -mentioned because that would be illegal, except for Dick Cheney.

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Not a drop of oil leaves Iran and goes to a.) the US, b.) a country which would trans-ship it to the US, c.) over a dozen countries who are strictly following the same embargo, or d.) a country with similar API 'balance to the barrel' schedules as the US. Virtually every drop of Iranian oil goes to countries which are net importers of lower specific gravity crude oil. Thus even the oft incorrect analogy that "if X can't get Iranian crude oil it will out bid the US for A's crude oil" is not valid since; a.) the refining capacity science is not compatible with making drastic SPI crude shifts, and b.) A would loose its traditional buyer in a world market which is crude heavy and have a period of months trying to find an alternative buyer.

So, is Iran going to piss down its own leg to shake up the US? A close to 100% no. When I say close to 100% I am talking about 9's to the 9's.

Even using the casus beli theory of a preemptive attempt to close the Straights of Hormuz with X numbers of the Iranian naval battery is quite ridiculous as Obama had already moved an additional COMPLETE carrier group into the area months ago. Every targeting apparatus on ship and aircraft now has the coordinates of every single Iranian ship larger than a tuna boat and every aircraft logged in. Take a look at the map when making or buying into such an absurd expectation. Iran a convenient position to the Straights of Hormuz but any attempt to block it terminates the oil exports of UAE, Qatar, Baharain and half Saudi Arabia. Those countries exert a far more effective influence on Iran than we do and they are also heavily armed with munitions, aircraft and ships we sold them.

Your premise sounds nice when used to scare the rubes, but like most of Mitt Romney's statements and, especially foreign policy, is based on false assumptions, straw men and idiotic nativity.

In other words, your argument falls to the same reality as the arguments of many of the past Republican Neo-Conservative madmen.

polnick August 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Modern sea mines layed in the strait of hormuz would remain for months. They would cut Middle-East oil by 75%. http://milit.ru/mines.htm

MissTaken August 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Gas prices are high again in California thanks to the Chevron oil refinery fire a couple of weeks ago. A fire that was brushed under the rug to hide the toxicity spewed all over the East Bay. Investigators are already pointing fingers at lax regulations and oversight at the refinery. Of course under commie-socialist Obama regulations are strangling job creators like Chevron and that's why polnick is so much smarter than us dummies on teh Wonkett.

Thank you Chevron and an extra special thank you to polnick for keeping up on current events!
http://www.democracynow.org/2012/8/8/chevron_oil_http://fuelfix.com/blog/2012/08/27/huge-gaps-in-o

fuflans August 28, 2012 at 2:54 pm

and here in chi thanks to bp's tainted gas or whatever they did in IN (it's always IN isn't it?)

why are talking to the troll?

MissTaken August 28, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I was bored.

Lascauxcaveman August 28, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Yes, I'm happy to notice that gas price thing hardly ever gets the attention it used to. I think the truth about gas prices has finally been repeated enough so that most people actually understand how they work (Hint: it has *nothing* to do with anything a president or other politician says or does about it.)

Equally pleasing is the fact that income disparity and taxation are getting traction in the news, and in almost every article I see on those subjects, the fact that rich folks just don't pay as much taxes as they used is mentioned quite prominently.

It can't be said often enough.

tessiee August 28, 2012 at 6:18 pm

"But then gas prices went down again! And now gas prices are like the least important thing in the political landscape"

Even worse than having obnoxious pedal extremities is having to work in an office like this. Whatever you haven't done is overwhelmingly important until the instant you do it.

At least the guys who want whatever they haven't got until the second they get it can be avoided.

Zango Crudmonger August 28, 2012 at 1:57 pm

At first read I thought you typed "All war MOVIES by the administration are on hold", which gave me the sads, b/c I've been looking forward to the remake of Dr. Strangelove, with Biden playing Peter Sellers' roles. Sigh.

deanbooth August 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Fancy apostrophe you got there. Wouldn't want to see anything happen to it (with votes).

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 2:55 pm

On the "gas guzzling limo" front. Dubya used heavily armored stretched limo hummers specially built with larger engines. The Obama administration opted for a armored assembly line Escalade that gets three times the gas mileage (still only about 12mph, but a hell of a lot cheaper to run.)

ChernobylSoup August 28, 2012 at 12:50 pm

We need two columns for comments: One regarding miners who will still vote for Romney; another for miners with brains.

Barbara_ August 28, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Meh, the coal mine workers would have just squandered that pay on food and fuel. Let them do without.

punkneverdies August 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Everybody knows the economy is moved by yachts and private jets.

HamsterSandwich August 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Why you young whippersnappers, I outa' hit you with my cane. When I was a boy, well, I'll just show ya':
http://tinyurl.com/9kvg3vr

Here's another: http://j-walkblog.com/images2/youngminers.jpg

tessiee August 28, 2012 at 6:25 pm

And the young, hip coal miners would turn their lighted hats around backwards.

edgydrifter August 28, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Hell, why stop there? Just make working in the mines mandatory and unpaid. At that rate, coal country will have 100% employment overnight. JERBS!!

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 12:52 pm

attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend

Mandatory, but not forced. Which makes about as much sense as "compassionate conservatism" ever did…

Tundra Grifter August 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Compulsory conservatism.

gullywompr August 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Desperate, but not serious.

NYNYNYjr August 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

It was mandatory, but physical force was not used. That's just what Romney needs, liberals flipping out over a photo of Romney speaking in front of bound and gagged miners. Liberals would start crying rape again.

tessiee August 28, 2012 at 6:26 pm

if it's not forced, it must not be legitimate.

Terry August 28, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Murray Energy, of course they're a big time GOP donor. They are also well known for polluting the hell out of the areas around their mines. It's not surprising that they treat their workers badly. It's sort of the trifecta of the perfect company in Republican minds.

Mumbletypeg August 28, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Today must be Catch-22 Day.

not that Dewey August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Feels more like 28 Days Later. At least, I felt myself coming down with the Rage this morning.

Mumbletypeg August 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I told you not to tease the infected chimps through the cage bars!

/scariest opening scene in recent horror movie memory

MOG2410 August 28, 2012 at 12:54 pm

"communicated to our workforce that the attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend.”

HUH?????

WhatTheHolyHeck August 28, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Nobody said they couldn't attend holding protest signs. That would have been fun.

MOG2410 August 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Uh, I doubt it, you don't want to make enemies in a mineshaft. Shaft being the operative word.

tessiee August 28, 2012 at 6:28 pm

S.J. Perelman, on a tour of the Egyptian Pyramids: Why should I have to tip you?
Tour Guide: You do not have to, Sir… But I think you would be getting out much sooner if you did.

ManchuCandidate August 28, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Safety reasons? Ha. Like Murray Energy cares about safety.

See Crandall Mining Accident.

Tundra Grifter August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

MC:

Thank you! "Murray Energy" had a familiar ring.

ElPinche August 28, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I was getting Murray Energy confused with Massey Energy…same problem, different asshole (fat fuck Don Blankenship).

Goonemeritus August 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I don’t understand why any union member especially those working miles underground wouldn’t want to voluntarily support a Party that advocates freedom form all those silly lifesaving regulations.

PubOption August 28, 2012 at 1:41 pm

How the Repubs would like mines to be operated. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unhXEQQk8G8
This example is from Albania.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 29, 2012 at 1:31 am

I thought China was leading the way, with 2,433 people killed in coal mine accidents in 2010.

The good news is that this was down 10% from 2009. The bad news is that — being evil socialist commies and yadda yadda durrrrrr — they got it down by choosing "job-killing regulations" over people-killing non-regulation. Real Amercian™ Republicans, of course, prefer the latter, for freedumb.

LastGasp August 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm

federal election law doesn’t let companies pay workers to attend political events.

I don't think that mandatory attendance counts when it comes to attending a political event.

sewollef August 28, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Shades of North Korea…

Oblios_Cap August 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm

the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend.” He said the company did not penalize no-shows.

WTF does that mean? Orwell would be proud.

FNMA August 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Orwell's head would assplode.

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 1:06 pm

It means Obama gutted welfare reform. Duh.

rickmaci August 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I think it means, "Obama gutted Medicare."

hagajim August 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I see a contradiction in this "attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend"…or maybe that's a contra-dick-shun.

natoslug August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

No contradiction whatsoever — it was mandatory, and you'd get fired if you didn't attend, but nobody was going to force you by putting a gun to your head. Sure, maybe they'd rape your dog, but only an unforced rape, so it's still legit.

RadioBowels August 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm

As blah as coal.

Oblios_Cap August 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I imagine that next the company will "suggest" who the workers vote for, and the voting precinct will be in the mine offices with transparent voting equipment.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 29, 2012 at 1:33 am

That would be the first transparency in the entire GOP campaign.

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Mandatory, but not forced to attend? I'll try that line to get out of my next staff meeting at work…

MOG2410 August 28, 2012 at 1:00 pm

HR will love it!

Troglodeity August 28, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Balancing the budget is mandatory, but no one is forced to pay taxes or lose benefits.

Antispandex August 28, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Ohio…a "right to work" state? 'Cause those are just AWESOME! Or…could it be that the trend to deny workers their rights has NOTHING to do with anti-unionism? All I know is that when the Pendergast machine did this in Kansas City, back in the good old days, it was frowned upon. See? Living in pre-New Deal America won't be so bad!

ThankYouJeebus August 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Eh, I would feel more sorry for these guts if 80% of them weren't going to vote for Romney anyway.

RadioBowels August 28, 2012 at 12:59 pm

You know who else was a big supporter of coal mining?

gullywompr August 28, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Santa Claus?

RedneckMuslin August 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Tammy Wynette?

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Or even Loretta Lynn.

RedneckMuslin August 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I get my redneck bitches mixed up. I meant whoever was the coal miner's daughter. Yeah, that's her.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Now, now RM, let's have some respect for Tammy and Loretta. Two moving, soulful voices, whatever the style they sang in.—

montreal_bruin August 28, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Tweety Bird ?

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Oh, no- now I've got that Police song stuck in my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQEIYjS1ePY

ChernobylSoup August 28, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Devo?

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Lloyd George?

montreal_bruin August 28, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I've missed him since Culture Club broke up.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

He knew my father. And my father knew him.

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm

You have a "special Anglo-Saxon relationship"! You should immediately replace Romney on the ticket, with Limeylizzie as your Veep!!

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Excellent idea! I'll get my people to work forging birth certificates stat. (And we'll make sure to forge long form ones this time. Don't want to make that mistake again.)

And we even have a ready-made campaign song, set to the stirring tune of "Onward Christian Soldiers" .

elviouslyqueer August 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins?

tessiee August 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Tennessee Ernie Ford?

tessiee August 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Lee Dorsey?

Blueb4sinrise August 28, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Ibid.

UnholyMoses August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Needs moar Loretta Lynn.

deanbooth August 28, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I was born a coal mining doubter.

Tundra Grifter August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Remember when President Bush used members of the US Military as photo props for his events?

I guess they got paid that day. But, as I understand it, they had to fill out a questionnaire and otherwise qualify to attend. Being in the Service just wasn't enough.

The Bush minions also screened any questions that might be asked.

Schmannnity August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Mitt the Shit.

no_gravity August 28, 2012 at 1:01 pm

"the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend"

Were flip flops mandatory to wear at the rally?

cc423 August 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm

In Ohio there are more coal jobs now than there were 6 years ago. Go figure.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 29, 2012 at 1:36 am

You and your damned facts! What have facts got to do with Republican politics?

Please prefix this stuff with (OT) so we know in advance, OK?

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Taking a page from the Kim Jong Il playbook, there, Mittster!

GeorgiaBurning August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Kim would provide free lunch and a five year plan. Mittens' version of juche needs a lot of work

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Actually, I think "juche" really means: "Anybody related to Kim makes out like a millionaire while everybody else eats shit and scrabbles in the dirt for molecules of protein."

Biel_ze_Bubba August 29, 2012 at 1:38 am

So the GOP really is taking a page from the North Koreans.

Beowoof August 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I know that as a worker at that mine, it would sure help me make up my mind whom to vote for. Nothing makes hourly workers happier than losing paid time for someone they would consider to be a management asshole.

punkneverdies August 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Why is it so hard for people just to pay their employees? I just don't understand why a group of jerks who talk about hard work being rewarded all the time refuse to reward people for possibly the hardest work on the planet. Give them a paid day off just DO IT your accountant will figure out how to make the government pay for it anyway.

ChernobylSoup August 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Because if you pay them an honest wage with a few perks they will turn gay and communist. It's in the RNC handbook.

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

If you pay them, where's their incentive to be rich?

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm

"We told them it was mandatory, and we are hoping most of them don't realize that we can't legally force them to be at work without being paid. At least until President Romney changes the labor laws."

MacRaith August 28, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I am extremely glad that my great-great-grandfather had the foresight to get out of the WV coal mines and move to Pittsburgh to work in the steel mills. Because the steel mill was actually a huge step up in the world.

not that Dewey August 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm

attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend

This just means that nobody got shot if they didn't attend.

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm

The miners were smart to agree. They heard what happened to those platinum miners in South Africa…

ChernobylSoup August 28, 2012 at 1:10 pm

You call it South Africa, to Republicans it will always be Utopia.

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I actually heard someone on the BBC the other night whinging on about how all traces of Apartheid hadn't been eradicated after 18 years.

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Anyone who lived in the South a century after the American Civil War would be shocked to learn this.

metamarcisf August 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I don't know what's worse – that these minors were voluntarily mandated to attend an unpaid rally, or that every one of them is under 18 years of age. What happened to the child labor laws?

el_donaldo August 28, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Instead of pay they'll get a book of scrip for Romney/Ryan campaign merchandise at the company store. Ann will let them touch her horse if they shower and delouse first.

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Mittens. Denying pay to coal miners. Really? He's a fucking Dickens villain, wot he is.

BarackMyWorld August 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Romney is a Dickens villian, like Moonbase Gingrich was a bong villian…I guess Santorum was a villian from a Disney movie.

SavageDrummer August 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

So, you're saying his sweater vests were made of dalmatian skin?

BarackMyWorld August 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Whoops…meant "Bond" villian…my autocorrect thinks I'm a hippie.

NYNYNYjr August 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm

This plus his old "tax for being blind" and "tax for being developmentally disabled" while Gov of taxachusetts.

sewollef August 28, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Un-fucking-believable.

"…attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend."

This is the year 2012. The second decade of the 21st Century. We've got robots driving across the desert of another planet right now, taking pics and beaming them back to us, from hundreds of thousands of miles out in space.

And yet… we are still sending human beings a mile underground to dig in dark tunnels, risking methane gas escapes, cave fall-ins, explosions, oh, and death…. for one of the world's worst pollutants — to light our fires at night.

Are we fucking insane?

BarackMyWorld August 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Rhetorical question, right?

sewollef August 28, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Right.

It's like snark flies out the window when you read shit like this. They shut the mine and didn't pay their workers. 'What the hell century is this', was my thinking…

elviouslyqueer August 28, 2012 at 1:28 pm

And yet… we are still sending human beings a mile underground to dig in dark tunnels, risking methane gas escapes, cave fall-ins, explosions, oh, and death…. for one of the world's worst pollutants — to light our fires at night.

Now now, we will have none of that commie fag renewable energy bullshit here. Solar and wind energy? Pshaw. What happens when the sun doesn't shine or if the wind doesn't blow, smartypants?

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Yes. Yes, we are.

LibrarianX August 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Legitimate rape

MissTaken August 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Those coal miners should just borrow money from their parents to buy their own coal mine and finally be productive, job creating members of the society.

BarackMyWorld August 28, 2012 at 1:18 pm

You know, I was justing saying the other day "Its not hot enough outside right now…I sure wish there was more heat-retaining carbon in the atmosphere to raise the planet's average temperature." Thanks, Mitt!

TootsStansbury August 28, 2012 at 1:19 pm

"Want to teach your child to disregard the law? Become a Democrat".

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm

And "D. D is for darkness" Like a coal mine.

zappadoo76 August 28, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Mandatory unpaid attendence at a Mittens rally? There is something worse than working in a coal mine!

rickmaci August 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm

You know who else forced common citizens to line the streets waving party flags and appear to be cheering wildly when his motorcades passed by?

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Um, lemme see. They were short, fat fucks who spoke Korean. Kim something. I know I'm close…

PubOption August 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Emperor Bokassa. And if the children didn't wave their flags enthusiastically, he would have them shot.

An_Outhouse August 28, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Elvis?

Estproph August 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I believe this to be mandatory:

Workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down
Workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down
Five o'clock in the mornin'
I'm all ready up and gone
Lord I am so tired
How long can this go on?

I'm workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down
Workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down

Cos I'm on call in the mornin'
Oh I go by the coal
But when Saturday goes around
I'm too tired for havin' fun (Too tired for having fun)

I been workin'in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down
Workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down

Lord I am so tired
How long can this go on?

I'm workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down
Workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down

Five o'clock in the mornin'
I'm all ready up and gone
Lord I am so tired
How long can this go on?

I'm workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down
Workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down

Cos I'm on call in the mornin'
Oh I go by the coal
But when Saturday goes around
I'm too tired for havin' fun (Too tired for having fun)

I been workin'in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down
Workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down
Workin' in a coal mine
Whop! about to slip down

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Beyond the first stanza, no, no it wasn't.

fuflans August 28, 2012 at 2:57 pm

well i guess i should be thankful that this is an earworm i can live with for the rest of the afternoon.

el_donaldo August 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Is it just a coincidence that the Republican members of the FEC just recently voted in favor of allowing employers to mandate their employees' political participation in causes of their choice?

cultjampro August 28, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I grew up in the area. Not only did the miners get an unpaid day off and mandatory attendance at the rally but some miners claim (and I believe they're telling the truth) that Murray Energy withholds one percent of their pay for political activities.

One final note: it was not only insulting that these miners were insulted by being forced to attend the rally, but they were further patronized by having Senate candidate Josh Mandel use a phony Southern accent in his speech to the minors. For crissakes, Mandel is from Cleveland and people from Belmont County, Ohio have a North Midland accent (to be more specific, a weak Pittsburgh accent–Belmont County is about 50 miles west of Pittsburgh)

Mahousu August 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Since attendance wasn't forced, they had no legitimate grounds to abort it.

Fox n Fiends August 28, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Remember wildcat strikes? Its time for a few thousand of them to return.

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Hell, my cat goes on strike if he doesn't get the flavor he wants…

Incitefully_Joe August 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm

So, because it would be illegal to pay employees to participate in campaign events, we will simply not pay them, and make participation a condition of further employment. And not paying employees for mandatory participation in a political campaign seems like just the sort of dodge that would be completely legal, if the FEC actually enforced the law, I'm reasonably certain.

An_Outhouse August 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm

How'd the miners get so dirty if they couldn't work that day?

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I think somebody refried the beans a few too many times on that burrito. And that flour tortilla looks practically raw!!

An_Outhouse August 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Obama is making war on the coal industry by using his super powers to lower the price of natural gas. Now no one wants to use more coal.

Calapine August 28, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Eerily reminiscent of the early Wonkette articles from the 1900ies.

BTWBFDIMHO August 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm

The Prez of Argentina takes inmates to her rallies. Is our mormons learning? http://en.mercopress.com/2012/08/01/argentina-con

Misty Malarky August 28, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Coal miners?

I thought those were negroidal Romney supporters.

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Wash and bare…

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Hey, the coal miners should consider themselves lucky — most employees of a business that Mitt visits lose a lot more than a day's pay.

mosjef August 28, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Mutt will be OK once they change his embalming fluid.

fuflans August 28, 2012 at 2:58 pm

i guess it's better than working for a massey.

but not by much.

fuflans August 28, 2012 at 2:58 pm

i thought it was 'right to work'?

sounds more like 'right to support mitt romney and my asshole boss'.

Living in Joy August 28, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I actually wondered about that. When I saw their faces in the photos, I thought, no way they want to attend this rally. There was barely concealed disgust as they watched little Lord Flauntelroy jerkily walk past them. Does he walk that way because of the secret Morman underwear? I swear you could see his underwear in the photo of him on the jet ski with Ann. It just barely shows on his left leg under the hem of the trunks. Maybe I need to find a hobby ………..

BZ1 August 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm

"mandatory, but no one was forced to attend" is double-speak of the first order.

MosesInvests August 28, 2012 at 3:22 pm

You load 16 tons, and what do you get? An unpaid day at a Mittens rally.

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 3:33 pm

So it cost 'em a day's pay to see a robot?

//whistles

That's one fancy robot you boys got there…

OneYieldRegular August 28, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Job creators 1, workers -1.

randcoolcatdaddy August 28, 2012 at 4:13 pm

These guys could just quit and get another job working for the Koch brothers.

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Fluffing off issues of gas prices may be fine for the so-called ‘unconcerned’ defined by your criteria of portfolios and mistresses.  Although I have no mistresses and never did, I have a lot of digits in my portfolio and have no interest in watching them diminish because energy cost inflation ate it all up.  Energy driven inflation is serious business.  In the late 1970’s we experienced what was being called ‘stagflation.’  This was anticipated by a number of classical economists but discounted as highly unlikely.  It was something where the continued cost of energy drove the growth of the economy to the point where even high inflation could not grow the economy.So tell your friends to be concerned about what the effect of the cost of a gallon of gas has on our economy or you are headed for a retirement eating $14 a can cat food.

glamourdammerung August 28, 2012 at 5:13 pm

If only they had a group to protect them from illegal abuses like this. A union if you will.

Nostrildamus August 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm

"… attendance at the Romney event was mandatory, but no one was forced to attend."

"Work shall make you free" he later added.

ttommyunger August 28, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Mittens would last about five minutes a mile underground with the boys. I come from coal mining stock, my dad and grampa worked in the coal mines in Ray County, Missouri along the old bed of the Missouri River, I know what I'm talking about.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 29, 2012 at 1:48 am

The mine had to be shut down for “safety and security” reasons during Romney’s visit.
Right. I'm sure it's in the rules somewhere that you have to shut down operations for grandstanding GOP politicians. No doubt the owners cheered Mitt wildly.
Anything that interferes with production in order to keep miners from getting killed, on the other hand, is socialist big gub'mint jerb-killin' intereference with a patriotic Amercian business, and cause for outraged fist-shaking at Obummer.

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm

(Chagrined, desperately casting about for Anglophilic comeback…)

Your fripperies are neither use nor ornament!

RadioBowels August 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm

♫ ♬ Hey Loretta, I love you more than my irish Setter
Hey Loretta, don't leave me alone…♫ ♬

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 5:03 pm

The irony of Russian mines being used is highlighted by recent attempts to get Russia to participate more in the embargo of Iranian oil and product. Russia, having failed to provide pipeline capacity from the Urals to the East, is dependant of the transshipping of Iranian crude. Transshipping is a term whereby a product is routed through another country, whether for economic means or convenience, so that the final destination is not readily known.I don’t discount that some kind of action may be possible by Iran in an attempt to economically attack the US (and that action would be deemed to be an action against most of Europe and a few other US allies) but the attempt grows more and more unlikely as Iran grows more unstable. This so because Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is becoming more of a stabilizing element and the people’s only defense against a cleric lead government which would quickly go insular.Although the US continues to play a geopolitical game in the Middle East, it may be time to let the nuts take over in a few countries and watch as they collapse the economy the last 40 years of Middle Eastern regionalism has made possible.

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