DEFICITS DON'T MATTER  1:30 pm August 28, 2012

Oh Look Who Wants the Government’s Help Now (Hint: It Is Bobby Jindal)

by Kris E. Benson

bobby jindal, man of principleWhy HELLO Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-Hypocrisy), how is it going down there with that big storm barreling through your state and all? Battening down the hatches and whatnot? Letting the American People provide for themselves without suckling from the government’s teat, because of Liberty and all that? No, of course not! Bobby Jindal is UPSET seeing as how the government has not given him enough help, and by help, he means that the government is not spending enough money. No, not the “bad” kind of money that comes from when the federal government spends money to make health care affordable or educate children; this is the “good” kind of spending money that helps protect property and lives (unless the lives are in peril from lack of access to health care, in which case, see what we said about “bad” money above).

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) on Monday sent a letter to President Obama saying the federal government was not doing enough to help Louisiana cover the expenses it’s taking on in preparation for Tropical Storm Isaac.

“Unfortunately, your limited declaration does not provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm,” Jindal said in his letter.

…The action by Obama makes federal funding to the state available immediately, but Jindal said it “only provides for direct federal assistance” and doesn’t “provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm … A core responsibility of the federal government is to protect the lives and property of its citizens when threatened,” Jindal concludes in the letter. “This disaster declaration will help ensure that we best protect life and property in our state.”

Life and property — so VERY important, and so worthy of government spending, unless that property is threatened from a volcano.

[The Hill]

 

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{ 207 comments }

Rosie_Scenario August 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Now there's a genuine natural smile.

anniegetyerfun August 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

He looks like he's being rectally electrocuted.

Tingomonkey August 28, 2012 at 3:43 pm

He has got to be the ugliest Republican troll, and that is saying a lot.

bumfug August 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Hey, moron – ya think the Republicans cutting the shit out of disaster relief had anything at all to do with that? Fuck you, tell it to your buddy Eric Cantor.

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

And his fellow young gun Lyan'.

noodlesalad August 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Amen.

Those levees? YOU DIDN'T BUILD THAT SHIT, BOBBY. WE ALL DID.

Goonemeritus August 28, 2012 at 2:04 pm

“This is no time to play the blame game!!!” let’s just admit that it's Obama’s fault and move forward.

Boredw/Gravitas August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

They should have to pay for that federal assistance in like form — say, cut the pay of every republican in the House.

no_gravity August 28, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I read that as Eric Cantor, your fuck buddy.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I'm wondering about that "property" he's so worried about … I don't think the Ninth Ward is what he has his mind.

Gratuitous World August 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm

he diverted these funds to MS to protect Trent Lott's house

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

The Repugs are torn between wanting to be popular and also wanting to look principled. The principled (let'em drown) approach was not popular during Katrina for some reason.

supernoun August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I can't imagine why it was unpopular. You'd think everyone would be grateful for such a wonderful opportunity to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and rebuild and such

Biff August 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Not easy to do when said boots are filled with swamp water.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Maybe because it's really hard to float yourself by your bootstraps, no matter how hard you pull on them.

SexySmurf August 28, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Barack H. Obama doesn't care about brown people.

AlterNewt August 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Wait!! Is it Bobby Jindal?!

Naked_Bunny August 28, 2012 at 3:01 pm

The real question is, which Bobby Jindal is it?

Oblios_Cap August 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Ha, Ha!

Gratuitous World August 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm

bobby – you just have to expense that shit and get it signed by your supervisor Mr. Norquist.

eggsacklywright August 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

This Wonkette thingy is kinda addictive, innit?

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 1:37 pm

No, I can quit any time…

supernoun August 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm

hard to say no, that's for sure

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm

My name is Jus Wonderin. And I am a Wonkaholic. Admitting it is the first step.

FlownOver August 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

All together now: Hi, Jus Wonderin!

Crank_Tango August 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Unfortunately, there is no second step.

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I have had issues with steps anyway. I'd probably trip on it.

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm

You are not from Skaro, are you?

Mahousu August 28, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I thought drinking was the second step. At least that's what I've been doing.

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I think you are on to something here. I would test that theory if I didn't already drink.

RadioBowels August 28, 2012 at 1:47 pm

We admitted we were powerless over snark — and our lives had become unmanageable.

FlownOver August 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Grant me the strength to do the skullfucking, the serenity to have the buttsecks, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Especially the wisdom part.

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 3:48 pm

SERENITY NOW!!!!!

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm

We admit we are powerless over Wonkette…

deanbooth August 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm

One of us! One of us…

Beowoof August 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm

The greater good.

eggsacklywright August 28, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Freaky.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm

At this point all of us stick our heads out of the small hole in the cell doors and ask "How do I look?"
You should say "You look great."

In a few months you will ask the same question, and some new person will be kind enough to give you the same answer.

eggsacklywright August 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Got it. And you do look fabulous.

Geminisunmars August 28, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I'm turning it over to a Higher Snark.

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Snark is your co-pilot?

Geminisunmars August 28, 2012 at 2:45 pm

As well as Dog.

rickmaci August 28, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Crackette.

ph7 August 28, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Stick with it! Wonkette Rehab is for quitters!

MacRaith August 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Just be wary of spending too much time in Wonkville. It's a sure sign that you're in over your head.

eggsacklywright August 28, 2012 at 2:13 pm

My retirement adviser neglected to mention this.

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Though, my Acccountant says I can deduct this time as an expense on my Taxes.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm

MissTaken does your taxes too, eh?

Boredw/Gravitas August 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Just remember to routinely use a few key phrases: Trucknutz, lightly salt bag of dicks, and "you know who ELSE…." and you'll always be at home.

HistoriCat August 28, 2012 at 2:35 pm

All of them Katie.

Geminisunmars August 28, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Also.

b[redact]opple August 28, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Too.

MosesInvests August 28, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Meme libel!

Lucidamente1 August 28, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Making a list of all the people I called retards was hard.

BornInATrailer August 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Time to pull yourself up by your own galoshes straps.

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I get to use this again "Heck of a job, brownie". I know that was really rude, but at least I didn't call BobbyJ a terrorist.

Arborista August 28, 2012 at 1:52 pm

He's the Cleveland Browns' mascot?

SavageDrummer August 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm

At least we know who to send down to lead the disaster relief squad. I do hope Brownie fills out his superhero costume well…

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Here, Bobby. Listen to Randy Newman sing about your state. You'll feel better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGs2iLoDUYE

ph7 August 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Bobby's the little fat man with a notepad in his hand.

coolhandnuke August 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm

"A core responsibility of the federal government is to protect the lives and property of its citizens when threatened,"
I guess that explains why you want to dismantle Obamacare.

supernoun August 28, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Well see Obamacare is a threat to the lives and property of the Insurance Corporations, but-but-but y'see this hurricane is threatening the Oil Corporations so it's like a conflict of interest or one-of-them-there-pickles or some such

GeorgiaBurning August 28, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Jindal had better read Atlas Shrugged again; it will be on the Republican Purity exam.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Really? 'Cause I thought all the Tea Partiers like you said it was a state thing. Please point to the precise point in the Constitution where it says Obama should protect Louisiana from flood damage.

coolhandnuke August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I believe he was referring to his Constitution–the Bible…something about 40 days and nights of rain.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Must be a 14th Amendment thing — citizens should get equal protection under the law, so the poorz with their houses under water are entitled to just as much protection as the banksters, oilmen, and mega-farm owners. (I know, "Har, har, har!!!", says the GOP, but that is the theory.)

Monsieur_Grumpe August 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Hey Jindal, why don't you get Brownie to help out? I hear he does a heckofajob.

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Karl Rove is sitting on a pile of cash earmarked for social welfare. I'm sure that could be put to good use, proving that private funds are more effective than government tax dollars.

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 3:51 pm

"Government can't create [disaster recovery] jobs"

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm

“The State’s expenditures for emergency protective measures are already approximately $8,000,000 and exceed the State of Louisiana’s threshold when making a request for a major disaster declaration,” the letter continued.

Hmm, what could Louisiana do to fund their state's first responders? IDK, maybe a windfall profits tax on the oil companies that operate in the Gulf?

sewollef August 28, 2012 at 1:50 pm

“Unfortunately, your limited declaration does not provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm,”

Acts of nature don't come cheap. But this sounds like bullshit posturing to me…. 'cos otherwise it makes little sense.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Dude, times are tough. We've got a deficit to bring down. A whole [government constructed] convention centre full of people in Tampa are saying that right now. You should go tell them to pipe down.

Wadisay August 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Obama ought to declare the school system a disaster, while he's at it.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Excellent idea … 'cause that's going to be vastly more damaging than Katrina in the long run.

FNMA August 28, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Dear Bobby,

Fuck you.

Sincerely,

Barack

P.S. — You sure have a weird sense of humor.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

P.P.S. Suck my massive manly dick.

Boojum August 28, 2012 at 3:01 pm

P.P.P.S. Have a fucking bake sale.

mavenmaven August 28, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I thought Jindal could just exorcise the hurricane away.

Buzz Feedback August 28, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I'm sorry Piyush but Gilligan dropped the government's wallet down a volcano.

Callyson August 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Also, thank you for reminding me of the 583,976th reason to re – elect Obama. I am sick of Democrats having to fix FEMA after the Reeps fuck it up. Clinton had to do so, Obama had to do so–let's not fuck it up a third time, shall we?

north_of_moscow August 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Build the dang hurricane fence.

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Being Jindal, "lives and properties" are fundies, fundie schools and fundie churches. Nope, not on my dime, bitch.

eggsacklywright August 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Noted vulcanologist spews.

supernoun August 28, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Funny how one little measly hurricane can send an otherwise Outstanding Young Conservative running back to the Titty of Big Gubmint!!!

Terry August 28, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I hope they have him speak at the convention about the need for the Feds to help the States.

noodlesalad August 28, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I'm sure the Free Market will provide assistance. Just pick your favorite borrowing rate and go with that, ya fuck.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Golden Sacks will make him an offer he can't refuse.

ChernobylSoup August 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Hurricane forces > Market forces.

President > governor.

It's math and science, bitch. Sorry they don't teach it down there.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 28, 2012 at 1:50 pm

If market forces don’t work then take the Libertarian (the other Republicans) view…

This is what you get for having your state in hurricane alley. It is your entire fault Bobby.

Beowoof August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Or move, it just blows to be in your state during hurricane season.

HistoriCat August 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Or any other season.

GeorgiaBurning August 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Be sure to paint "Invited here by Bobby Jindal" on the side of all the FEMA trucks

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I was thinking "Your Federal Tax Dollars Being Spent (as Requested by Bobby Jindal)"

horsedreamer_1 August 28, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Bobby Jindal's Unmarked Helicopters is my favourite Soul Coughing song.

sewollef August 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I'm thinking Bobby Jingles is pissed that Mr Romney didn't pick him to play with on the campaign trail, and instead picked Paul Ryan Seacrest.

That's just my theory.

Antispandex August 28, 2012 at 1:43 pm

If only there were some way to help the people who will be hurt by this, and let the Jindals and his corporate cronies suffer from their arrogance. It seems, however, in spite of J.F.K's pronouncment to the contrary, a rising tide only drowns the poor.

Boojum August 28, 2012 at 3:04 pm

A rising tide lifts all boats. There aren't enough boats to go around as long as some $100,000,000 yachts are carrying three people.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:10 pm

"A rising tide lifts all them that's got boats."

elviouslyqueer August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Dear Piyush:

All Barack's money are belong to us.

Fuck you repeatedly and retroactively, also, too, you venal, corrupt motherfucker.

No love,

New Orleans

Comrade Wingtardd August 28, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Bobbi,

Perhaps if you hadn't decimated the state budget with tax cuts, our universities and hospitals would not be failing.

Fuck You Again,
New Orleans

Monsieur_Grumpe August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

He could at least wait for the storm to hit before he starts crying.
Get a pair Jindal.

edgydrifter August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Republicans: Always "me" when there's food on the table; always "we" when the waiter brings the bill.

elviouslyqueer August 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm

always "we" "them" when the waiter brings the bill.

FTFY.

Hammiepants August 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Apparently being a Republican means you have absolutely no sense of irony. Also, that you are a miserable piece of parsimonius shit.

Fox n Fiends August 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Gosh Bobby, maybe you should raise taxes to pay for things.

Terry August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

See, old Bobby has this problem. His State has lots and lots of people who are poor. Third world poor. They really don't have any money to pay in taxes. Then there is a very modest sized middle class who work and pay lots of taxes. Then there are all the obscenely wealthy people who own Bobby. He certainly can't ask them to pay taxes. If he does, they may not contribute to his campaign and the PACs anymore. He's tried beating more money out of the poor and the middle class, but they keep saying something about blood and turnips. He certainly can't tax the rich folks, so he's stuck.

Fox n Fiends August 28, 2012 at 2:10 pm

So Louisiana is our Greece? I get it know.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Sounds like maybe Loisiana's "Jerb Creators" aren't really deserving of the title. Is that possible, Bobby?

fartknocker August 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Apparently he hasn't read Chapter 11 of one of those middle-school text books written by Bob Jones University on small government, Jesus, Urban Search and Rescue Teams and FEMA.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Seeing as he seems to be counting on lots of people walking on water, and a miraculous multiplication of the loaves and MREs, I think maybe that's exactly what he's been reading.

littlebigdaddy August 28, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Needz moar FEMA camps!

subsum August 28, 2012 at 1:47 pm

There's something very telling about the conservative mind: an utter, shameless and unabashed lack of principles and a single-minded focus on satisfying their greed. Here's how it goes: they hate government monies but they will take them if they're available; like Ayn Rand berating Medicare and then taking advantage of it because it was there for her taking.

Liberals have principles and most of us stick to them; that's what makes us who we are. Conservatives have no such thing.

RadioBowels August 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Go back to India, loser!

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm

He was born in Baton Rouge.

bobbert August 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I'm almost sure that was sarcasm.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"Baton Rouge" was its colonial name. It is now proper to refer to it as "Jamblai".

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Clever clog!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Has he produced the long form birf certificate? I bet it looks photoshopped to all those teablogger experts on the interwebs.

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 1:49 pm

How DO they get away with it? He simultaneously dissed Barry while whining for more federal money. It's a gift. One that, had we a media, would keep on giving.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:24 pm

How do they get away with it? Liberals just shrug and say "yeah, of course he's a double-talking jackass — whadja expect?", while the teatards' inherent capacity for doublethink lets them simply not notice. And with Fucks Gnus on the air, any media challenge is painted as "liberal bias."

PeaceWithHonor August 28, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Rich people are suffering.

IceCreamEmpress August 28, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Somewhere, a CEO is crying.

Beowoof August 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Not the CEO of Home Depot or Lowes, the fucking guys are having a party.

IceCreamEmpress August 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm

No Muslins invited to the Lowes party.

LibrarianX August 28, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Direct all invoices to: Eric Cantor

James Michael Curley August 28, 2012 at 1:52 pm

He's waist deep in the Big Muddy and the big fool says to push on.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Only waist deep? Damn that drought!

Poindexter718 August 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Sorry, Macaca, but we already blew the budget on volcano monitoring.
–Bams

IceCreamEmpress August 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm

The only moral Federal assistance is MY Federal assistance!

Seriously, I think the Republican platform should just officially be FYGM/IOKIYAR at this point.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Good thing this wasn't a volcano or he'd be fucked

SigDeFlyinMonky August 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I put on my reliance and courage and defiance and risked my life for science, hey hey! Goat skin, awl, gut, pitch, branch, sheet. This is your reliance test Mr. Jindal. Hope you pass! Now get to work.

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm

At what age do Republicans learn to talk out of both sides of their mouth? Or is it a genetic trait?

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Inbred.

I mean, born. Inborn.

Barrelhse August 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

It happens just before they start permanently talking out of their asses.

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Isn't that redundant?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:26 pm

When your head's up your ass, it's all the same thing.

ph7 August 28, 2012 at 1:57 pm

A core responsibility of the federal government is to protect the lives and property of its citizens when threatened

Wha-wha-wha-WHAT?!?!?!? For a minute there I thought you said the job of government is to protect its citizens when threatened.

Biff August 28, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Well, I feel pretty threatened by Jindal and his friends…

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Stand your ground! (With votes, natch.)

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Hm, you know, Bobby, just a thought here, let me run this up a flagpole and see if anyone salutes, but if you, I dunno, somehow raised state revenues through, say, a tax, you might be able to sock a few pennies away and thus cover your shortfall until the Feds rescue your Teabagging ass.

I mean, you know, hurricanes….Louisiana. It's not like this is a fucking blizzard or anything unusual.

LibertyLover August 28, 2012 at 2:07 pm

He could institute a Hurricane "Fee" on the "lives and property" of corporations.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Exactly! Just a small use fee. He could say that he'll recoup the munnies from God when God comes down to settle His accounts.

FlownOver August 28, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Get real. The next thing, you'll be expecting everyone to stay to the right of the median.

HistoriCat August 28, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Why must you make Grover Norquist cry?

TootsStansbury August 28, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Jindal looks like ET's ugly brother. Plus he's an asshat.

anniegetyerfun August 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm

E.T.'s ugly, anorexic brother. And I have a real thing for brown dudes, so it takes a fairly unfortunate mug for me to be repulsed.

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I remember seeing dozens of school buses on Fox News, just sitting there. Use those.

Biff August 28, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Oh yeah, I remember those. The ones on the repair lot, if I recall correctly.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Just fix 'em with your state gov't money. — – Say what? Now how did that happen, Bobby?

Poindexter718 August 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Time to exorcise Plan 666.
Everybody all together: "Demonic tempest we rebuke you. Demonic tempest we rebuke you. Demonic tempest we rebuke you. …"

Beowoof August 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Dear Bobby,
Rmoney, Ryan, Boner and Yertel have really clamped down on the budget, try these guys:

LDS Philanthropies
15 E. South Temple
2nd Floor East
Salt Lake City, UT 84150
801-240-5567

Charles Koch Foundation
1515 N. Courthouse Rd.
Suite 200
Arlington, VA 22201
Phone: 703-875-1770
Fax: 703-875-1766
Email: email@charleskochfoundation.org
http://www.namb.net/disaster-relief-donations/ (Southern Baptist North American Missions Board).

I would expect these fine supporters of you step right up.

LibrarianX August 28, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Charity begins at home, hon…

Terry August 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Bobby, hon. The US taxpayers are footing the bill for rebuilding and improving the levees in New Orleans. All those new levees in places like Houma and Morganza? That tax money, local and upwards, too. All that money that's going into protecting and restoring the wetlands that are…or were…your State's natural barrier against storm surge? That's all tax money, too.

How about this, Bobby? Instead of your bitching about Obama and the Feds not pouring more money into the State (while you speechify about getting the Feds off the backs of the States, of course), why don't you go to your pals in the energy industry. You know the ones. They've treated Louisiana like a goddamn third world colony for decades, destroying natural resources and shipping beaucoup bucks out of state while providing dangerous and short term jobs for some locals and a whole lot more out of state ne'er do wells and criminals. Why don't you get your energy pals to invest in fixing the bayous, marshland, and swamps they f'ed up? Why don't you get your energy pals to invest in the health care in the State and start healing the bodies that were broken on the rigs and pump jacks? The bodies that were broken and made cancerous by the poison the refineries send out stacks and drainage pipes? The poisons that leech out of all the damn open waste pits….that are legal because your pals in the energy and chemical industries bought politicians who declared oil field wastes as non-toxic by law regardless of what they are?

Bobby, you go back hat in hand to those company guys and you ask them real nice to fix the natural buffers your State used to have that protected the cities and towns from storm surge until the actions of those companies ruined all that.

OK?

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Jesus. If ONLY.

Terry August 28, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I am still seriously pissed off over Hurricane Katrina.

freakishlywrong August 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Katrina flipped me from being a Democrat to being a person who truly hated so-called "conservatism" and fuck the compassionate kind.

FlownOver August 28, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Oh, I see. We couldn't tell from your comment.

Double "true dat" on your suggestion for Big Oil's local rentboy.

rickmaci August 28, 2012 at 2:01 pm

We are going to need it out here in Califas big time when the damn San Andy finally goes.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 28, 2012 at 6:05 pm

You'd think that doG would have busted you guys by now, what with all the librulz choosing the gay lifestyle and not going to church every day. He must be saving it up for a special occasion, and soaking the GOPtards just for practice.

kittensdontlie August 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Before the Great Emancipation, slaves were considered property and thus could have been afforded full and valid protection in Jindal's eyes from this tropical storm. Those were the good ol' days….

Trannysurprise August 28, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Jeebus on a barometer, this guy gives me the creeps.

rickmaci August 28, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Hey Bobby. How is that "pray it away" thingy that you teach in your fundie home school science text books working out for you?

Weenus299 August 28, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Grizzly Bears and Volcanoes, man. You ridiculed research on them, and now The Lord has put a curse upon you.

VeraSevera August 28, 2012 at 2:09 pm

He looks like he's been binge-drinking formaldehyde. Wassup wit dat?

PubOption August 28, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Is he trying to turn into E.T.?

JustPixelz August 28, 2012 at 2:11 pm

According to Louisiana textbooks, Jindal should be building an ark and collecting animals in pairs (no gheys allowed).

Terry August 28, 2012 at 2:15 pm

The GOP email forwarding machine should send Bobby a copy of the one that says that North Dakota doesn't ask for Federal aid when they get a lot of snow…unlike some States when it rains.

T3rbo August 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm

All I hear is "Paul Ryan got to be a VP and all I got was this lousy hurricane, boo hoo!"

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 3:27 pm

#WINNING

MacRaith August 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Bobby, you know perfectly well that if the government gives you money you'll just become dependent. Besides, it's your own fault. Who puts an entire state in the middle of a swamp in hurricane country? You should have thought that through ahead of time.

Kid_Charlemagne August 28, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Personally, I wouldn't have too much confidence to begin with if I lived in a state where the Governor is named "Bobby."

FlownOver August 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Chess and/or Black Panther Libel!

littlebigdaddy August 28, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Well, it's really Piyush.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Take it away, Bobby Charles!

Misty Malarky August 28, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Let me get this straight: the storm hasn't even hit and Bobby is already making with the bitch whining.

Sweet fancy Moses!

"A core responsibility of the federal government is to protect the lives and property of its citizens when threatened…”

Unless lives and property are threatened by illness, medical and medication costs, poverty, prejudice, prideful ignorance, 'legitimate' rape, back-alley abortions, heavily armed gun nuts, gay bashers, polluted environments, fracked water supplies, carnivorous banks and money lenders, mega stores, war mongering draft dodgers, right wing radicals, etc.

Then it's all hunky dory.

Guppy August 28, 2012 at 2:21 pm

provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm

Oh, go sell some state bonds. The federal deficit is très important when there's a blah Dem in the White House.

Ruggedly individualize, bitch!

chicken_thief August 28, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Obama to Jindal, *in Yogi Bear voice* Hey, Bobby – fuck you!

mustangsavvy August 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Kenneth the page has really let himself go….

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Pontius Piyush was driven to distraction by the multitude's cries of "Give us Barack-bucks!! Give us Barack-bucks!!"

Soylent Green August 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm

If this was Katrina, Condi would be playing tennis by now.

HistoriCat August 28, 2012 at 2:46 pm

That's not Jindal! I've seen the dramatic video of the exorcism he was involved with and the dude in that picture above looks nothing like Bobby Jindal.

cromiller August 28, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I can claim exemption for use of my tax dollars to help out here right? Its their own *personal, individual, and freedomed* choice to live by a hurricane. If this was a legitimate weather emergency, the state would just shut down and not be damaged. I think NOLA, all drunk like, has been asking for this.

Barrelhse August 28, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Yo, Bobby- howz about we send Brownie down there to help out?

fuflans August 28, 2012 at 2:48 pm

bollywood did not prepare me for bobby jindal and nikki haley.

Chichikovovich August 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Well, then this will make you feel better. I mean, it's been at least a month since I posted it last. How could I let it go that long….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnBbjc5hmho

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Where's the white guy with the beer?

Chet Kincaid_ August 28, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I just love Ricky Martin!!

mosjef August 28, 2012 at 2:52 pm

What genetic experiment went horribly awry with his face?

MinAgain August 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning. It smells like federal aid.

ShuCityRefugee August 28, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Rev. Robertson said that Republican prayers diverted the hurricane from Tampa to Louisiana. Maybe he can get some of those prayers diverted to Governor Jindal now . . . or, of course, some more tax cuts would allow the job creators to all those things they keep saying they do, but will only do until we cut all their taxes and give them everything they want – after that, they'll go work some job-creatin' magic against the storm.

fuflans August 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm

hehehehe.

bobby jindal will go thru life associated with failed science and volcanoes.

BZ1 August 28, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Piyush Jindal gave himself the name, "Bobby" tailored after the youngest son from the Brady Bunch. Ain't gonna happen.

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 3:23 pm

With all that money Jindal saved from not having hurricane monitoring, you would think they would have something saved up for a rainy day?

Why don't you just call up the Job Creators over at British Petro and request a 30% payday loan…

swordfis August 28, 2012 at 3:46 pm

After all these years Alfred E. Newman still looks great.

outragedcitizen August 28, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I love it when karma comes around to bite these fucking hypocrites in the ass!

barto August 28, 2012 at 4:34 pm

See how easy it is? Gets to be a victim when the feds give him money, gets to be a victim when they don't. This is today's GOP.

Misty Malarky August 28, 2012 at 4:36 pm

A poem:

A governor named Bobby Jidal
Read some quite scary news on his Kindle.
So right before Isaac
He nailed down his ballsack,
And pinned his foreskin down with a spindle.

glamourdammerung August 28, 2012 at 5:12 pm

President Obama needs to very slowly and very clearly read the letter to the press and then say "do not worry. I am from the government and I am here to help". Then release the necessary aid and have the DoJ hit any fraud as hard as humanly possible.

smitallica August 28, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Poor Bobby. Maybe you could just exorcise the hurricane from possessing your state?

lochnessmonster August 28, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Ummm LA is a state that repeatedly has hurricanes visit. I say Gov Jindal did not plan properly for hurricane season. Maybe he should revisit his budget for hurricane preparedness? @cspanwj

fawkedifiknow August 28, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Put our money where your ignorant ass cracker mouth is: Pray for help, Jindal. See how that works out for ya.

Dumb fuck.

Nostrildamus August 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm

I knew a man Bob Jindal and he's lecture you
In worn out tropes
With simpering tone and perpetual victimhood
He'd play the dopes
He wrote such lie
He wrote such lie
And then landed on Fox

Mister Bob Jindal
Mister Bob Jindal
Mister Bob Jindal
Fuck off

WhaleChowder August 28, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I think Obama should give Louisiana all the help it needs.

Then produce a commercial with Jindal quotes about how awful government is and pointing out the difference between Democrats and Republicans in the starkest terms.

Then send a little email, maybe via a proxy: Fuck you very much, "Bobby", signed Barack

BarryWDC August 28, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Dang, the gubmint's always too big according to the Grand Olde Party–except when them Repub governors need Uncle Sam to pull their asses out of a sling. As a government servant who takes that role seriously, I wish all those Republican governors could be made to survive one year without the assistance of the central federal government.

All of them, like this dumbass Jindal, would be begging for a larger, activist U.S. government. What a BUNCH…OF…HYPOCRITES.

ttommyunger August 28, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Hmmmm. Maybe some of those Federal Dollars could go towards buying Bobby a neck.

Boredw/Gravitas August 28, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Such as.

AbandonHope_ August 28, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Get with the times, man! Steps are nothing to those bad boys now. ELEVATE!

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